CHAPTER VI

Saul was now in the Chamber of Secrets with Walt and Jesse. dont ask how they got there just accept that they are there now.

"Well gentlemen" said Saul "It looks like youre trying to take your drug deals to the next level and earn a little cash on the side to build a tank to blow Gus Fring to smithereens." He lit a fat cigar with a lighter that he had in the pocket of his polka dot clown suit. "And im just the greaseball lawyer to help you do it, since i have no morals"

"Fine bitch whats the plan" said Jesse.

"Yeah why do we even need you?" said walt questionly. "WE are doing just fine on are own."

Saul smirked. "Have you ever seen the show Mad Men" he asked

"Of course" said Walt. "I am old and love to watch prestige dramas on network TV."

Jesse said "yeah totally bitch. I've seen it. No duh" but really he had not seen the show. he just didnt want to seem uncultured in front of two wise worldly figures like Saul Goodman and Walter White.

Saul continued, "ok so you remember the plot with Lane Price. What happened to him"

"He was suicidal and he ran himself over with a lawnmower in the middle of the Sterling Cooper office" Walter said.

"That's right" said Saul "and why might i ask would a perfectly smart character like Lane do something so insane as this"

Walt said "I dont remember, is it because don draper banged his wife"

Saul said "no no thats not it. Think walt. Why did he do it"

Jesse chimed in loudly "BRITISH TAXES!"

Saul and walt looked at him and they were very impressed. "Bingo bango" said Saul. "guess we know who the real mad men super fan in the room is" Jesse smiled and stuck his tongue out at walt and gave him the middle finger and walt stewed bitterly like hes always doing. By the way jesse just googled it when they werent looking. Hot tip to look smart, try it in real life it works like a wonder

"Anyway british taxes are so high that people are killing themselves left and right so they dont have to pay them. since if you dont pay them they put you in front of a firing squad and kill you anyway. Unless you guys want to do that i suggest you launder your money and i know just the way." saul said all that

Walt rolled his eyes "you better not suggest laser tag again" jesses face lit up though cause he was really hoping it was laser tag

Saul shook his head. "No no this time its actually related to school and its gonna make you look great. Youre gonna say youre setting up a Hogwarts Textbook Fund for under privilege wizards and put all the money in that. You can actually go around getting random professors and students to put money in the fund if you want. And charities are tax free, its the law, saul goodman told you. And thats me. And i will watch the money and take great care of it for you. So youre golden if you do this. Take it to the bank"

Walt and Jesse looked at each other. Walt said "Jesse what do you think of this idea" Jesse said "I think it's a good idea, I dont want to kill myself because of queen alizabeth taking a big fat cut of my meth profits" and walt said "i agree with you jesses" and jesse cried because thats the first time walt ever agreed with him. It was the most tender emotional moment in the whole story up unto this point. "Ok saul you got it" they said.

"Great" saul said. "I got it all set up already, dont ask how i did it just accept that its going to work. Its already happening your money is already in the fund, and all the money you make for the rest of the story is going in the fund, its just gonna happen." Walt and jesse nodded in silent agreement and understanding of the arrangement

"Hey saul" said Jesse "how did you even get here though. And like where are you going after this"

Saul chuckled "dont worry your pretty little head about it my boy" guess you'll find out LATER what happens. Saul left to an undeterminate location.

"Say Mr White" said Jesse "you've been skipping a lot of classes lately. I think you missed your owl test. Arent you worried about your grades and shit"

Walt looked at jesse like he was stupid. "You're stupid" said Walt

Meanwhile….

At the same dark lair from the other chapter, a meeting was going on with the guy from before whose identity was obscured by a shadowey cloak. Hes back and now he has friends called the Death Eaters and they had their own evil black cloaks. Probably 10 or 20 people, hard to say it's dark. but conspicuously snape is no where in sight.

"Are you ssserious" hissed the snakelike man in a snake voice. "The sssstowaway muggles are still alive"

"Yes my lord" said a very ugly round man. This was Peter Pedophile. "I turned into a rat to spy on hogwarts when nobody was looking and theyre definitely still in there. Plus theyre cooking up drugs that basically everyone in hogwarts is doing now"

"What?" yelled the evil man.

"Yeah its called lucky charms meth" pedophile stated.

"Why the fuck is it called that" askes the evil man.

"Because it looks like a rainbow, and taste the rainbow is the famous lucky charms slogan" Pedophile stated.

Voldimort was peeved as all get out. "Hogwarts is my territory! ive been putting heroin in the butter beer as i said before, so im staking my clame. im the only one whose allowed to do this type plan!" He got insanely mad. "Where oh where are they getting there supplies!"

"I think Snape is bringing them newt balls" said Peter Pedophile.

"WHAAAAAAT" yelled the evil man. He got so mad that he pulled out a machete and chopped Peter Pedophile into 30 pieces. And because of that Peter other cloaked fingures were shocked and gasped. But the dark lord made an evil face to them and said "this is the price you pay when you disappoint me, this guy i just killed had every opportunity to kill the muggles and snape the traitor and instead decided to just come to this meeting and tell me about it. Guess what assholes were going to hogwarts to settle this once and for all and we're gonna activate our heroin slave army and kill all the mud bloods and muggles and whoever else starting with Walter White and Jesse Pinkleman."

One of the Death Eaters was a wacky looking lady named Belatrinks Lestrange. "I love you Voldemort lets do it" she said.

"Yes yes I am Voldemort" revealed the evil man. "And of course Belantax we will do the plan I just said, and you can be my second in command since youre so eager to do it"

"Hee hee" belinda evilly laughed out.

Voldemort sneered evilly "I can't wait to turn all my enemies into zombie mindless slaves, like making harry potter kill his friend Rod Weasel or telling dumbledore to make out with professor magongol even though hes gay. One thing i really hate is gay guys. They're even worse than muggles" [AUTHOR NOTE it's voldemort that's saying this, i do not believe in homophobia, the bad guys beliefs are wicked and bad, i do not endorse what he is saying. Same love - macklemore]

Voldemart and Belintrax and all the other ones - Lucas Malfoy, Crab Goyle Sr., and the varius other ones - got on their broomsticks and flew off into the night cackling evilly. the moon was lighting the night sky in a very foreboding way as they set their courses toward the number one place they had their sights on, the one and only Hog Warts.