A\N: I've not done a nightmare fic in the longest time, so here is my JIBBS nightmare fic, enjoy Angels.
This week has been so shitty for me for reasons I don't know why, so I'm going to unleash it all in my stories.
"NO!" A scream rips out of her mouth as she watches him fall down beside her with a pained groan. She's on her knees beside him, grabbing his hand and squeezing it, looking into his crystal blue eyes.
"Jethro, look at me." She commands in her best Director voice. He looks at her, a ghost of a smile on his face, the smile he has just for her.
"Jen, I've always loved you, from the second I saw you in Morrow's office 8 years ago. When we were in Europe I loved you, in Paris, when you told me you loved me and I said 'that'll be the day', that was me trying to tell you that one day I will tell you 'I love you too.' and I'm telling you I love you now. God I love you Jennifer Shepard." Jethro says, his voice fading with each word he says. A finger swipes across her cheek, catching the tears that run down them.
Tears that she sheds for him, past, present and future.
"Don't shed any more tears for me, Jen. I want you to do something for me." He says, his face turning grey.
"Anything, Jethro, anything." She chokes out, she'd do anything he asks of her.
"Live your life, Jen. Live it without mourning for me. I want you to live your life, can you do that?" He asks, his voice is so quiet that she has to put her ear right next to his soft lips to hear. She nods even though everyone knows that's a lie.
She'd die the second he does.
Everyone knows that.
"I promise, Jethro, I promise." She sobs. She gets to her feet to let his team say goodbye, moving into the background beside a grief stricken Fornell. It was meant to be an easy protection detail for Jethro and his team but Jethro just had to be the hero and take the bullet that was meant for her. He had to be the one protecting her, not her protecting him, just like in the field, in Europe even as Director and Agent, it's always been Jethro protecting her. She can Tony saying his goodbye to Jethro.
"Thank you for being the best boss I've ever had, thank you for teaching me all I know I'll make you proud boss, I promise. I'll keep the team together and I'll protect Jenny and I'll make you proud, I love you, Dad." Tony says before getting up and wrapping a crying Ziva in his arms, who are soon joined by McGee. Jen watches as the three agents cry for the loss of their boss, their surrogate father. She walks back to Jethro, kneeling beside him and takes his hand, allowing the tears to flow from her eyes, down her cheeks and land on his hand.
"I'm sorry I left you Paris, Jethro, it was one of the biggest mistakes of my life. If I could snap my fingers and go back in time to our time in Paris, I would. I'd go back and never let you go. I love you, Jethro. Live together, fight together, die together. Do you remember that, Jethro? That's what we said in Paris." Jen asks her dying agent. Jethro smiles at her again.
"I..I do remember, Jen." He says, he looks at her, his blue eyes focused on her lips.
"K..kiss me, Jen. Kiss me one last time." Jethro orders her in his Marine voice. Jen doesn't hesitate as she pressed her lips against his, kissing as deeply as she dares in a ballroom full of senators, politicians, Marine Personnel, security and agency Directors and agency agents. Jen pulls away from Jethro and sees his chest is no longer moving, his lips are cold but he has a smile on his face, his blue eyes still as blue as the Paris sky, she kissed him as he died.
"Jethro?" Jen says, shaking his shoulder. "Jethro!" Jen shouts, almost hysterical. She puts her head on his non-beating chest, not caring about getting his blood all over her.
"Please come back to me. I want you to take me back to Paris, take me back to Paris. I love you, Jethro, I love you." She sobs into his chest.
She doesn't care that the whole ballroom is staring at her, she doesn't care that she's meant to be the Director of a Armed Federal Agency, she's a woman who's just lost the love of her life right in front of her eyes.
She feels Ziva and Tony forcing her to her feet, and leading her away from Jethro, both them and McGee crushing her in a bone crushing hug, a hug that they all need right now.
All four past and present NCIS agents cry for the boss that taught them so much.
Telling Ducky, Abby and the rest of the Agency was the worst thing she ever had to do, after watching Jethro die right in front of her. Knowing she would crumble if anyone hugged her, Tony and McGee pulled a sobbing Abby close to them and held her as she sobbed. The day she told the Agency about Jethro's death, the whole building was shut down, all cases were abandoned, all the desks were left as they were, MTAC was deserted, the whole Agency was sent home for the rest of the week.
The only person in the building was Jen, laying curled up on her couch in her office, wrapped in his clothes that she took from his filing cabinet, drinking Bourbon, seeing memories of the two of them eating take out in her office, the two of them arguing about cases, the two of them using Paris against the other one to win the argument. He's only been dead less than 24 hours and already she doesn't know how to survive without him. The only way she survived those 6 years without him was knowing that she'd one day see him again, but now that he's dead, the only way she's seeing him again is when she dies.
Getting to her bare feet, Jen stumbles over to her desk and pulls out her sidearm from her top drawer and walks to her couch and sits down, staring at the gun. She closes her eyes and puts the gun to her temple.
Live together, fight together, die together, Jethro. Jen thinks before she pulls the trigger, killing herself instantly.
Live together, fight together, die together.
Jen Shepard bolts awake, sweat clings to her body as she frees herself from her blankets, tears pouring down her face.
That seemed so real. The redheaded Director thinks to herself as she sheds her pjs off her and dresses in the first clothes she can reach before running out of her room and down the stairs to her car, driving to his house. She needs to get the images of him on the ballroom floor and her kissing him as he died and killing herself in her office dressed in his clothes out of her head.
Running through his house, she runs to his basement, calling his name.
"Jethro?!" Her feet pound on his stairs as she descends them. Jethro is sanding his boat as she runs down his stairs, just as he turns around, Jen launches herself into his arms, her arms going around his neck as she kisses him deeply. He immediately kisses her back, tears of relief falling down her face. They pull away and just stare at one another, his finger wiping away her tears.
"What was that for, Jen?" He asks her softly. Sobs wreak her body as she launches herself at him, her head going to his chest.
"You have to stop protecting me, Jethro, please." She begs through her sobs, she rarely begs anyone for anything but in case, she'll beg and beg until he agrees, which he'll never do. Jethro pulls away from Jen and stares into her eyes.
"You know I can't do that, Jen. I'll always protect you because that's what I do for the women I love. I'll protect you to my last dying breath." Jen shakes her head as she starts pacing around his basement.
"Don't you get it?" She demands sharply, her green eyes narrowed as she looks at him. "You protecting me will only get you killed! I'll end up killing you!" She shouts at him. She paces again, this time faster.
Hands on her shoulders stop her and she's forced to look into his blue eyes.
"Listen to me, Jen. If me protecting you is the only way to keep you safe, I'd gladly die for you because I love you, Jennifer Shepard." Jethro says firmly, kissing her again. She's pushed up against his boat and wraps her legs and arms around him.
With her being in his arms, there's nothing she can't handle.
Because he'll always be protecting her whether she wants him to be protecting her or not.
A\N: This story is just one of many JIBBS oneshots I'm working on at the moment. There is a trigger warning for suicide, so be wary. Enjoy, Angels.