LISA

"Honey, are you okay?" Jackie looks worried when she sees me.

"Yeah. I think so." I fall back on the couch and let out a long sigh, then realize that I'm not okay at all. "My client… she's…" My voice trails off and I swallow hard, looking down at my hands resting in my lap.

"Was she rude to you?" Jackie straightens her back, her protective instincts kicking in. "I swear, I will kill her if she did anything to hurt you or—"

"No, it's nothing like that," I interrupt her and shoot her a reassuring smile. "I have feelings for her, Jackie. I'm totally head over heels and I didn't know what to do so I told her I couldn't see her anymore."

"Oh…" Jackie stares at me for a moment, then heads for the fridge, opens two bottles of beer and hands me one. Sensing I need to talk, she sits next to me and puts an arm around me. "This was bound to happen at some point, sweetheart. You can't just have sex and expect to never develop any feelings at all."

"No, I normally have no problem detaching myself," I say. "But it was different with Jennie. There was just this instant attraction and even though she only booked me twice, it just got too intimate for me to handle."

Jackie nods and runs a hand over my cheek. "Maybe it's time that you stop doing this sooner rather than later. There's no need to carry on for another couple of months just for the sake of the money. It's not worth it if it upsets you like this."

"Yeah." I don't have the energy to argue against that and anyway, I know she's right. I've had no joy from my jobs in the past two weeks. All I thought of was Jennie, she's completely taken over my mind.

"What about her? How does she feel about you?"

"She said she wanted to go on a date." I hold up a hand when Jackie's about to say something. "Stop, Jackie. She was married to a man for most of her life and she's very rich. I was foolish letting myself get carried away like this. It's likely that it's just a phase to her and eventually she'll end up with a man."

"Right. Of course." Jackie gives me a sympathetic smile. "But she can't be all that straight if she's sleeping with you…" She chuckles, lightening the mood a little.

"That's true. But it's too complicated for me." I shrug. "I think I upset her, and I should probably apologize for that. I feel bad about how I left."

"Were you rude?"

"No. I just told her the truth. That she and I could never work because we're too different and that I have to think of Lily with every decision I make."

Jackie carefully chooses her words in the silence that follows. "You've been incredibly selfless, Lisa. And I'm so, so proud of you for doing so well and for being such a great mother to Lily. Believe me; I saw you struggle in the beginning, and sometimes it was incredibly difficult not to step in. I didn't because I knew it was important for you to do right by your sister, and that you needed to own that sense of responsibility." She pauses and pulls me in. "But having a child doesn't mean you can't seek out your own happiness and allow yourself to make mistakes. It's okay to make mistakes so don't rule out a chance of love just because you think it won't work out. No one is perfect and Lily doesn't expect you to be."

Jackie's eyes are so kind and warm that I almost burst into tears. Almost, because I haven't cried in years and I'm not going to start now. "I just don't want to bring someone into Lily's life who won't stick around. She's lost too much already."

Jackie shakes her head, disagreeing with me. "Honey, you haven't even been on a date. Lily doesn't need to meet her unless it gets serious." She pauses. "Besides, I think most of all, she just wants to see you happy."

I hear her words, but they don't click into place. "Trust me, this will bring me nothing but heartache." Taking a long drink of my beer, I stare up at the ceiling and try to erase Jennie's face from my mind. "Another client has been following me around," I say, feeling a need to confess everything that's been bugging me lately. "She showed up at the Harborside Café when I was there with Lily and she basically suggested she'd get a divorce so we could live happily ever after."

Jackie gasps. "No…"

"Yeah. I had to have her blocked from the system."

"Are you going to call the police?"

"I can't. She hasn't done anything wrong. Not really." I sigh. "I think that was the last I'll ever see of her, though. I lied, told her I was in a relationship, and she was pretty upset when she left. But my point is that some women think I'm the one just because I'm their first woman. Because I've made an impact on their life and made them reconsider what they want, but it doesn't work that way."

"I see. And you think this woman, Jennie… You think she's getting carried away too?"

"It's possible, I have no way of knowing. I should probably apologize to her, then keep my distance." Picking at the label on my bottle, I'm thinking out loud. "I don't know why I'm being so emotional, maybe because it's Linda's anniversary tomorrow."

"Maybe. I've been a little out of sorts myself," Jackie admits. "See how you feel after tomorrow."

"Yeah. Want me to pick you up so we can drive to the cemetery together?"

"That would be great."

I finish my beer and get up. "Thanks for the talk, Jackie." I turn as I'm about to go into Lily's bedroom to check on her. "I hope you know how much I appreciate you."

"I do know, honey." Jackie gets up, walks over to me and gives me a hug.

"What's that for?" I ask, hugging her back tightly and cherishing the comfort, however small. It's been a long time since I felt this way, but it's also been a while since I let someone in, and I know Jennie's going to be hard to let go of.

"Because you need one. I'm here for you, okay?" She steps back and smiles at me, her kind eyes telling me everything will be fine with time. "I'm here."