LISA

"How do you feel?" Jihyo asks. "Now that you've taken the leap. I didn't think you'd quit before your business was properly off the ground. I thought we had agreed three months."

"Scared," I say honestly, letting go of Lily's hand. My father who is tending to his stall at the Sag Harbor farmers market, spreads his arms and lifts her up. Cameron follows and immediately sits down in one of the two children's-sized folding chairs my father has ready for them. Lily and Cameron look forward to their trips to the farmers market, partly because they get some pocket money for 'helping' him, and partly because sitting behind their toy till makes them feel terribly grown-up and important. My father waves at me, letting me know he'll keep an eye on them while Jihyo and I get some groceries and go for a coffee. "Escorting was my safety blanket, an easy way to make money, and I've never been very entrepreneurial, so I guess all I can do is work hard and hope for the best."

Over winter, the farmers market in Sag Harbor belongs to the villagers. It's a social place where we reflect, catch up on the week and sample the produce before we buy it. Now that most of the seasonal crowd has returned, it's too busy for small talk. My father barely produces enough goods to keep up with the summer demand, and he's usually sold out before midday. Expanding the farm is not an option at his age and anyway, making artisanal cheese and yoghurt has always just been a hobby to him.

"You can still have your job back, if you change your mind. The boss was gutted that you left us." Jihyo smiles at my father and calls: "Thank you, Frank!"

"No problem, I couldn't do this without them." He shoots us a wink and turns back to Lily and Cameron, taking his time to get them settled before turning to one of the many customers queuing.

"Thanks, Jihyo, but I won't change my mind," I say. "I want to be someone Lily can be proud of. She's almost five and understands more than I realize sometimes." I shrug. "Don't get me wrong; I was never ashamed of my job, but it's certainly not the life I want for her, so I should set her the right example." I stop off at one of the stalls to buy a seeded baguette, and Jihyo buys a gluten free loaf. "Besides, after Jennie, I just can't do it anymore. I need some time to forget about her."

"I understand and I'm sorry if I didn't take you seriously. I had no idea how deep this went." She lowers her voice. "But I'll miss our laughs about your clients."

"Yeah, me too." I chuckle. "No more spanking Mrs. Palmer with random kitchen paraphernalia, pretending she's my naughty sous-chef."

Jihyo laughs too. "I sent Red over as your replacement yesterday, but Mrs. P wasn't happy and offered double to get you back. You must be good."

"To be honest with you, I was starting to run out of ideas and her kitchen was a total mess after each session. I feel sorry for her cleaner."

"I guess you've taken food porn to a whole new level." Jihyo looks over her shoulder to check no one is listening in. "So, what exactly happened yesterday? You were all over the place on the phone, I think I might have missed something."

"It's all a bit of a blur," I say, the gloomy feeling in my core spreading. "I went over to Jennie's house to talk, after leaving in a hurry on Wednesday. I wanted to end things in a decent way because I love spending time with her, and I suppose we were on our way to becoming new friends. But then I saw her and this insatiable hunger took over. Jennie kissed me first I think but as I said, it's all a blur. And then one thing led to another faster than I could fathom and Ella, her daughter, walked in on me fucking her mother on the kitchen counter. She was really upset and drove off. I think that just about sums everything up." I pause, remembering the mortified look in Jennie's eyes. "I messed up big time."

"Hey, it takes two," Jihyo says. "You're both adults, you didn't do anything wrong."

"I may have ruined Jennie's relationship with her daughter. Everything about that is wrong."

"Will you see her again?"

"No, I can't go back to that house, there's a good chance her kids will be there over summer. I've asked Pool Masters to swap my shifts with someone else, so that's the end of it." I let out a long sigh. "I should have never allowed myself to get close to her."

"You can't fight the real deal," Jihyo says. "It's rare."

"It's unrealistic. That's what it is, end of discussion." I walk over to the coffee stand and order three cappuccinos, one in a take-out cup for my father, and we sit down at a picnic table.

"Sure, boss." Jihyo rolls her eyes.

"Hey, I'm not your boss. At least not yet," I say, changing the subject.

"What do you mean?"

"I have my first event coming up soon, through a party planner I signed up with a while back. It's a sweet sixteen with about forty teenagers at a house in East Hampton. I was wondering if you could help me out, if you want to make some extra cash?"

"You have your first job? That's great."

"Yeah. And I need this first one to go really well so that I can get more gigs out of it. Imagine all the parents who will be there with children around the same age. It's the perfect self-marketing job." I manage a smile, not quite feeling the excitement I should. The booking came through last week, but my mind has been so occupied with Jennie that I hadn't thought about it much. It's time to focus, though; I've invested too much in this to let anything slip. "So, are you in?"

"Absolutely. What do you need me to do?" she asks.

"Just help me out, make sure the proposal for the planner is perfect. I need to send it to her as soon as possible."

"Of course I'll help you. This is so cool, Lisa." Jihyo beams. "I don't want your money, though; you know the way to my heart. Just cook me a meal and pour me a large glass of wine."