Well, hello there ! It's been a while since I didn't have a pairing that made me wanna write fanfiction again. 6 years or so later, I fell in love with The Rookie and I've binged watched way too many episodes now. Of course, I have to be completely obsessed with Bradford/Chen, because that's definitely my type of ship !

So here's a story that has been stuck in my head since I've watched 4x17/4x18. It was supposed to be a one-shot, but I'm about a third in and it's already way bigger than I thought it would be, so I thought I'd split it in 3 parts. Here's the first one, hopefully will be able to update shortly.

Hope you guys enjoy !

The spider hidden in the corner of the ceiling was slowly weaving its web. The fly hovering around, not expecting anything to happen as it landed closer and closer to the web. Slow and persistent. That was the spider. Calculated. Patient. Then, just like that, the fly landed just a little too close and would never fly away again.

As Lucy Chen watched the fly struggle against the deadly trap, her heart skipped a beat. She remembered the panic that she had felt when she had been enclosed in the barrel, she thought would be her coffin.

It felt like yesterday… even though it wasn't.

Today was the day she had to relieve it all. She'd have to talk about it to the DA, make sure that Rosalind wouldn't get away with her attempted murder. She closed her eyes, turning around to bury her face in the soft pillow.

It was the kind of day when she wished Jackson was still there with her. She couldn't talk about that with Tamara. She just couldn't put that kind of pressure on her, even if she needed to talk about it to someone. Before, her roommate and best friend would've been the one she confided in. Her heart ached as the familiar pain squeezed her heart; it wasn't unexpected. No matter how much time passed, the pain didn't get easier to bear. It did get less frequent, but the ache was still there.

Sighing, she reached for her phone, trying to think about something else. She swiped off the ClipTalk notifications, the Instagram alerts, and the couple of emails from the station. It was an automatic movement; one she did every single morning. Swift, brisk, thoughtless.

Until.

The green bubble announcing text messages was the last notification left after she swiped everything off her screen.

5:04 You know you don't have to testify if you don't want to.

6:39 No one will think less of you, she's going away for the rest of her life anyway.

8:40 Chen?

8:56 I can do this, I'm stronger than you think.

8:56 No one knows how strong you are better than me, Lucy, that isn't the question.

8:57 I'm fine.

Her phone was quiet for a moment. Tim Bradford was not one for texting. The fact that he had texted her already meant so much. She hid her face in her hands for a second, her fingers pressing into her closed eyes as she breathed out.

9:01 You are going to be.

She swiped the notification away, pushing her covers away. It was time for her to get ready.

Tim stared at his phone. He knew she wasn't going to respond anymore. She had too much pride for that. It killed him that he couldn't be there with her today. There was too much stuff he had to take care of at the station, and he knew that rationally he couldn't give all of that up just to be by her side during trial prep. Hell, he wouldn't even be aloud in the room as it happened, so it just made no sense for him to go to the DA's office with her just to wait around all day.

He just wasn't rational when it came to Lucy Chen.

He groaned out loud as he got up from his desk. Grabbing back his phone from where he had thrown it.

9:17 You gonna keep an eye on her today?

Tim stared at his phone, she knew Tamara was even faster than Chen on her phone, and he was right. A second later the screen lit up again.

9:17 Already on it ;)

He swiped the notification away from the screen. At least she wasn't going to be alone today. It wasn't as good as being there himself, but he knew she was strong enough to deal with all of this, he just wasn't rational.

9:20 Don't worry, I'll keep you in the loop.

Chuckling, he slid his phone back into his pocket. Sometimes he swore that Chen's puppy just read his mind. Even though she always seemed like she was reading more into their relationship than there really was.

The song shouldn't have unsettled her that much. She didn't know why it did. Her first thought was that she was going to have a panic attack.

Her blood froze in her veins.

Her heart stopped in her chest.

Her breath caught in her throat.

Tamara must've seen Lucy's panic, because her eyes went from laughing to serious. "You okay?" She asked, worry in her eyes.

Lucy didn't answer. She couldn't have voiced an answer even if she wanted to. She turned around, staring at Chris who was making himself a coffee, singing under his breath just as if this was the most common thing to do. Just like if that song wasn't bringing back the worst memories of her entire life. Just so… Normal, easy.

Chris must've felt the change in the room because he turned around, apologetic.

"I'm so sorry, it was in my head, I wasn't thinking. It was thoughtless, and stupid, and I'm sorry." He rushed, looking like he really hadn't realized what it all meant. How could he have just not realized?

"The song was stuck in your head because you've... because you've seen the video." She managed to get out, not able to look him in the eyes as she made the connection.

"Well, yeah. It's evidence." He replied, matter-of-factly.

"Right, right. No, of course you did. You're in the D.A.'s office, and it's evidence, so...you've..." She stumbled, her breath catching in her throat, not able to breathe properly anymore, her eyes filling up with tears she tried to push away.

"Lucy, I should have told you I'd seen it. I'm sorry." He apologized again. Didn't he see that apologizes didn't do anything right now?

"No, you said that part already. Um... I just - I just need a minute." She interrupted.

"Lucy, p—" He smiled at her, and it just made everything worse.

"Please, can you..." She repeated, stronger this time, this was not working right now.

He left. At that point she didn't hear what he said, trying to keep herself from going into a full-blown panic attack. Her breath shuttered and she put her hand against her face. She had to get a hold of herself. Closing her eyes, she remembered the steps she had gone through with her psychologist, she knew she could deal with it, she had dealt with it for months now, she could do it.

She splashed water against her face, twisted a water bottle opened and sat on the closest chair, concentrating on her breathing and exercises. It would be okay. Her heart slowed down to its regular rhythm, and she felt calm washing over her slowly.

When she was calmer, she walked back to Chris who tried to apologize again. She just didn't need apologies right now, she needed to see it, she just needed to see that video that everybody else had seen.

"Lucy, it's... it's incredibly hard to watch." He argued, and she closed her eyes. Who was he to just say that… she had lived through it, she knew it would be hard to watch, she just had to see it. She didn't really know why, but she just knew she had to see it.

He ended up setting it up for her, asking her if she wanted him to stay with her. She considered it for a second, but she didn't want Chris of all people to stay, not after what happened earlier. She couldn't ask Tamara to watch it with her. The only person she would've let stay with her was Tim.

The only person she wanted to be there at that very moment was Tim.

She didn't quite grasp why. Was it because he had been the one to put an end to that video? The one to pull her out of the ground and breathe some life back into her? Or was it because he was the only person she trusted completely and utterly. She trusted him with everything in her life, and she knew it was mutual. She knew that he wouldn't pity her, that he wouldn't act like she was going to break because she was watching that video. He would be there, not saying anything, but she knew that his presence would've been everything she needed right now.

But Tim wasn't there.

She reached across the keyboard, her fingers still trembling as she pressed down on the spacebar and was transported back all the way to that deadly barrel, singing to herself, not knowing if this was going to be the last day of her life or only the worst one.

Her eyes were closed in the video, and she could almost smell the smell of the dirt mingled with her blood. She knew she had to preserve her oxygen. They would find her. Tim would find her.

Everything was going haywire, the alarms ringing everywhere, and Tim looked at the suspect with a hard gaze. He couldn't believe this was all happening. He hoped it would be a short day and that he could go to the DA's office, but obviously it was getting worse and worse by the minute.

He took out his phone to check if anyone had a status update and froze in place reading Tamara's text. "Do you know why a song would make Lucy freak out?" The text read. It had been sent less than a minute ago.

His heart skipped a beat before it went crazy. His feet made a move towards the exit of their own mind before he had to stop himself in his tracks. He wanted to leave everything here and just rush to the DA's office, code 3. He had rarely been so conflicted about anything in his entire life. If there was any chance he could leave right now, he would.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes, he knew he couldn't leave. It was killing him, but he knew he had to stay here. There was so much in stake, he had to be rational about this, but it didn't mean he had to be happy about it.

They all came into the conference room, giving that criminal what he wanted. It drove him crazy, but he knew there was no other way right now. He couldn't take his attitude even after they had given him all he wanted.

"Lose the attitude. You got what you want. Turn the lights back on." He grunted as he uncuffed him, handing him the tablet. He was this close to loosing it on this guy, but he had to push everything else back. He'd go see Lucy later, she was strong, she'd be okay he knew that. Meanwhile, he had a job to do.

She had been in the conference room for a while. Tamara was starting to worry. Chris had told her about the video, not everything of course, but enough for her to know how awful it probably was to watch it again. To have all those memories flood back must've been something out of a horror movie, and now she wasn't opening the door. She looked at her phone, Tim had texted her How is she doing? about 10 minutes ago. She had hoped that Lucy would come out soon enough that she wouldn't have to tell him, but at that point she didn't really have the choice anymore.

17:29 She's been watching the video… Isolated herself in the conference room and isn't coming out.

Tamara sighed, she knew it probably wasn't the best way no to make him worry, but she felt like he deserved to know anyways. She looked at Chris, it's probably time to go in and see how she's doing, even if she didn't want them to.

Tim stared at the text on the screen. He had just gotten back to the station, and now that the threat had ceased to exist, his brain couldn't think about anything else than his partner. Or aide, or whatever.

17:29 She's been watching the video… Isolated herself in the conference room and isn't coming out.

The video. He felt sick at the idea of Lucy having to relive that video. It was the worse thing he ever had to see, and he knew that having lived through it probably made it 10 times worse than it was when he watched it, even if it had been awful for him. Left him hunched over the trash can as he rendered the contents of his stomach like a fresh boot in front of a dead body.

Guilt still wrenched his whole body as he thought about pushing her to go get that drink and being the reason that she had been there for him to take. He knew it wasn't his fault, and he never really had said anything to Lucy about it, not wanting to add to her pain by having her bare his own. She had enough as it was.

She had been his responsibility though. His boot. He knew he never would've forgiven himself if he had been too late finding her. If it had taken him 5 more minutes to find that ring, and that she had stayed motionless under his arms. He didn't know why she wanted to see that video, but he knew that he had to make sure she was okay.

Changing clothes in record time, he jumped into his truck and made his way to the DA's office way too fast. He just had to make sure she was okay. He kept telling himself it was just a TO wanting to check on his old rookie, but part of him knew that it was way more than that.

Chen has wiggled her way into his armor, annoying and charming and just infuriating. She was the one person he would trust with anything. He did trust his colleagues with his life, he had too, but he trusted Lucy with everything else too. She was one- if the only person he had been able to be vulnerable around, the one he brought with him to see his father when he knew he was going to come out devastated. He couldn't bare for her to be the one devastated tonight.

He was just walking towards the elevator when the doors dinged and opened in front of him. Lucy and Chris were inside, she looked shaken, but okay. She was smiling at her boyfriend, and they seemed to be bantering. The pang of jealousy that grabbed hold of him at that moment surprised him by its intensity and he stopped dead in his tracks. He quickly got a hold on himself though. He was happy she had Chris at least, she hadn't needed him to come and get her after all.

"Hey, Tim, what are you doing here? I heard it was crazy at the hospital, is everything okay?" She asked, her eyes locking into his, reading his expression as only she could.

"Hum, yeah, no everything is fine. The hospital is back and running it's all good." He started, concentrating on closing his face not to let anything show. "I'm just, uh… Here to see the DA about the case now" he improvised.

He could see that she didn't believe him. Hell, he didn't even believe him. She still smiled at him, but the smile didn't quite reach her eyes and he knew that this day had taken a toll on her.

"Yeah, Del Monte is still in his office" Chris said, and Tim thought he must've been a better liar than he thought. "Have a good night officer Bradford."

Before Lucy could say anything, Chris had started walking towards the exit and Tim didn't see anything else to do than get into the elevator. She turned her head to look at him with a wondering look on her face as the door closed. He waved goodnight stupidly as she disappeared from his sight, slamming his hand on the door of the elevator as he cursed himself for feeling the way he did right now.

He pressed the 4th floor button, before pressing back the 1st floor button, getting his phone out of his pocket as the elevator went up. "She seems better now, I'm having diner with a friend, but Chris will watch over her at the apartment. Hope your hospital situation got resolved!" Tamara's text read, 10 minutes ago. He would've saved himself the embarrassment had he thought to read it earlier really.

When the doors to the elevators opened again to the lobby he walked out to his truck and drove home. He needed a shower, a beer, and a good game of football to calm his nerves right now.

So Tim is going home, but not quite sure he's gonna be able to stay there all night... We'll find out in the next chapter !

Thanks to Jean over on Discord for catching my mistakes and everything !

If you liked it (or not!) drop me a line. See you soon !