LISA

Jackie might actually be psychic. The look on her face says it all but she can't resist voicing her thoughts as she lets me in: "You're late and you're never late." She winks. "I think I know what you've been up to."

"Sorry," I say with a sheepish grin, scooping Lily into my arms when she runs up to me. "It was a late night, thanks for having her." Planting a wet kiss on Lily's cheek, I laugh as she grimaces and wipes it with the sleeve of her sweater. "Have you had fun?"

"Yes! We went to the playground and we had ice cream and pancakes and Cameron and I made a tent to sleep in."

"Wow. That's a very cool tent," I say, carrying her into the living room where a mattress is placed on the floor under a canopy of sheets attached to the four chairs standing on each corner. A string of multicolored lights is placed over the chairs, and it's filled with cushions and blankets.

"Thank you," I say, smiling at Jackie. "Has Jihyo picked up Cameron yet?" It's more of a rhetorical question as Cameron is loud and active and hard to miss.

"Yes, she came about an hour ago. They've had so much fun."

"I can see. You're so sweet." I put Lily down and follow Jackie into the kitchen where a pot of coffee is waiting on the table. "Yes please," I say when she holds it up. "Unless you're busy?"

"Me?" Jackie laughs. "Never." She pours two cups, opens the back door to let the sun in and sits down with me. "So, are you going to tell me all about it or should I guess?"

A blush creeps onto my cheeks and I hide behind my cup, almost burning my lips on the hot brim. "I bumped into Jennie at that bar opening Jihyo and I went to last night."

"You did? How did that go?"

"I was shocked to see her, after two weeks. I hadn't exactly left it in a good place, but she gave me the opportunity to apologize. She joined us with her friend, and we all had drinks together. It was really nice." I hesitate and chuckle. "Actually, it wasn't just 'really nice'. I didn't know what to do with myself when I saw her, and I think she was pretty shaken too. Whatever is going on between us is much stronger than I anticipated." I hesitate. "But she wasn't uncomfortable to be in my company with her friend there."

"Is that what you were afraid of?"

"Yeah, of course. Jennie's straight—at least to the outside world—and sitting next to me with the chemistry we have, it's pretty obvious that we like each other. She seemed totally cool with it, though."

"So I imagine it wasn't just drinks?" When I shake my head slowly, Jackie glances into the living room and lowers her voice. "Lucky you had the apartment to yourself then. Or did you go to her place?"

"No, we went to my place." My grin widens. "We're actually going on a date next week, if you wouldn't mind having Lily for another night."

"Are you now?" Jackie looks delighted to hear this. "Of course I'll look after her. I miss her now that you don't work nights anymore, it's a bit boring on my own." She sips her coffee, sits back and crosses her legs in front of her. "Where are you taking her?"

"I don't know. I was thinking maybe that little place by the harbor? The Italian?" I sigh and rub my temple as insecurity suddenly takes over. "God, it's so difficult with her. She's used to fine dining and fancy places. I'll never be able to keep up with the lifestyle she's used to."

"Will you just stop the overthinking before you've even given this a chance," Jackie interrupts me, slapping my wrist like I'm some disobedient child. "The excuses…"

"They're not excuses. I have to be realistic because I have Lily to think of."

"Come on, this is not about Lily," she says. This is about you. You haven't ever allowed yourself to be close to anyone."

"That's not true. In New York, I didn't want to fall in love or be in a monogamous and committed relationship. I happily slept my way through town and when I came back here, a relationship was the last thing on my mind. I've just been distracted."

"Exactly." Jackie pauses. "Lisa, sweetheart, you're scared because it's the first time you're in this situation. One where there's mutual attraction strong enough to be lasting and serious. You're scared because you're in love for the first time, don't you see that? I've never seen you talk about someone the way you talk about her. And yes, I agree that Jennie may not be the safest bet, but if you don't go all in, you'll never know. You might get hurt, and then I'll be here to take care of you. Or it might work out, and you'll have a beautiful life together." She looks at me the way I imagine my mother would if she were still alive. The older and wiser woman who knows better because she's lived through it all. Has she, though? I don't remember Jackie ever dating anyone.

"Maybe you're right," I say. "But what about you? Why have you never dated?"

"Who says I haven't?" Jackie bites her nails, staring down at the table; a sign that she's uncomfortable.

"You've never mentioned anyone."

"It wasn't something I could discuss."

"Oh." I pause and regard her. "I'm sorry, we don't have to talk about this."

She finally looks up at me, her eyes welling up and her bottom lip trembling. She's in distress, and I curse myself for ever bringing it up as this is clearly a very sensitive topic. "I just always assumed you and dad were secretly in love with each other and I didn't want you to think I would have a problem with that." Then I remember Rose, and how she and Jackie looked at each other. I've been meaning to ask her about it but it was never a good time and going on her emotional state, now isn't a good time either.

"No." Jackie shakes her head and has magically managed to compose herself within seconds. "Your father and I are very close but there's nothing but friendship between us." She stands abruptly and glances around the kitchen as if she's looking for distraction. "I forgot; I have an appointment with the dentist this afternoon, so I'd better get ready."

I flinch at this because I know she's lying and Jackie has never tried to get rid of me, ever. "I'm really sorry," I say again, wishing I hadn't touched upon the subject of Jackie's love life.

"For what, honey? You didn't do anything, I just forgot about the dentist, that's all." Jackie manages a smile. "Will I see you for lunch on Sunday at your father's house?"

"Yeah." I get up, too, and start gathering Lily's things. "I'll see you there. Good luck at the dentist."