The rhythmic sounds of cooking were music to the cook's ears. Each chop followed the sizzling of meat and was followed by the sounds of flame. Sanji was home with his first, sometimes second, love.
After the occasional kick to a stretched-out hand, Sanji laid out the dinner plates on the table before stepping out of his kitchen and calling out to his crew. With a smile, he took out a single cigarette and lit it.
And then keeled over, coughing violently.
Sanji waited patiently on the hospital bed, slightly annoyed. Honestly, it was just a coughing fit, not really much to worry about, but the little reindeer insisted on an emergency check-up.
At that point, a very annoyed-looking ship doctor was right in front of him,"I told you."
"Told me what?" Sanji asked.
"That smoking was going to cause you problems in the future!" Chopper shouted,"If you keep smoking like you have been, you'll be developing breathing problems, pulmonary disease or even cardiovascular disease!"
Sanji frowned,"I don't smoke all the time. I stop when I cook!"
"Even a little bit every day is going to hurt your health!" Chopper said, waving his little hoof in front of his face,"I wouldn't be surprised if you get lung cancer later in life! You need to quit!"
Sanji got up,"Look, the only bad thing that's happened to me so far is a coughing fit. I'll be fine."
"So like Zoro, you're not going to listen?" Chopper held a little clipboard in his hooves.
"You know what? I think I will quit!" Sanji snarled, leaving the room.
"... Nami was right, that does work!" Chopper looked down at his clipboard.
Sanji stood off near the side of the ship, staring at the cool blue waters going by him. He looked off into the distance, before reaching into his pocket,"Well, one isn't going to hurt." He pulled out a packet.
At that point, a pair of hands appeared, grabbing said packet,"Doctor's orders!" The pair of hands soon took the packet along a similar trail of hands toward Robin, who proceeded to take it to be disposed of.
Sanji stared at his empty hand,"... I can't get mad at her." He muttered.
Sanji walked to the men's quarters. Luckily he had a few spare packs near his bed. He walked to the drawer where he stashed some of them and opened it, only to find a slip of paper.
"Dear Sanji,
Chopper told us to look for anywhere you'd hide a packet of cigarettes and get rid of them. He told us this is for your own good. We all want you to be as healthy as you can be because you're our friend and we care about you.
Signed,
The Great Captain Usopp
PS: Please don't kill us! :("
Sanji crumpled the paper in response.
Sanji began to search the ship. There was no way his crewmates/friends/current enemies unless their names are Nami and Robin could've possibly found all of his stashed cigarette packs!
He went to the storage room, where Franky had thrown out a huge box,"There we go, bro!"
Sanji grumbled before running off towards the front of the ship, where he heard Usopp shout,"Pull!" then he heard a boom. He looked up, noticing his packs of cigarettes being thrown by Luffy and subsequently blown up by the sharpshooter.
He wanted to ask if Usopp managed to miss.
He wanted to ask if Usopp could preserve one.
He wanted to ask what he did to deserve this.
But it would've been for naught, so all he did was get on to his knees. He turned to a watching Zoro,"You're enjoying this, aren't you?"
"Yep." Zoro turned on his side and snored.
Sanji sat on the steps of the Sunny, holding a small schedule in his hand. Without his smoke breaks throughout the day, he now had at least an hour and thirty minutes of free time on his hands. What was he going to do with that?
Fawn over Nami and Robin again?
Create more recipes?
Fight with Zoro again?
Sanji looked up,"Hey Mosshead, have we fought yet?"
"We fought ten minutes ago!" Mosshead's voice said from afar.
"Shit," Sanji muttered. Should he converse with the other Straw Hats? He thought about his friends...
"Now I'll take you to the ends of time...hmm
Don't say good-bye, your soft hair adds such a nice flavor"
Sanji finished singing as Brook finished his piano playing. He frowned, that took off ten minutes...
This was torture.
"There's our next island!" Nami shouted.
"Oh thank god," Sanji said.
Sanji smirked as he walked alone in the town streets. He was one of the few Straw Hats that could be trusted alone.
Which means if he went into a smoke shop and got some cigs, no one would know.
He'd have to hide them well, but who cares?
He walked into the nearest smoke shop where an old man was working the counter. Sanji looked over the shelf behind the man, spotting his favorite brand,"Excuse me, how much for that?"
"Thousand berries." The man said.
"That's way too much!" Nami shouted next to Sanji.
Sanji let out a yelp. When did she get there!?
Nami scoffed,"You could buy spices with less! Come on, Sanji!" Nami grabbed Sanji by the arm and pulled him away,"You're supposed to be quitting that stuff anyway!"
Sanji moaned. Normally he'd enjoy the thought of Nami following him. Now? Now he was imagining her the way Mosshead did. A devil woman.
...
A sexy devil woman.
...
Maybe Zoro had the right idea.
Sanji had managed to lose Nami in a crowd. Mainly thanks to a jewelry shop that had some pretty gems. He put his hand onto a wall and breathed a little.
Hmm, he was breathing easier, maybe Chopper was right?
At that point, he noticed a group of men dressed in white walking towards him. With a gasp, he hid within the crowd. He noticed that the man in the lead was smoking...
With what appeared to be his favorite brand of cigarettes.
"Damn it." He began to think of a way to steal it. He shook his head,"No, can't give in."
Then he heard a woman scream. One of the marines was harrasing a lady.
Now that Sanji won't let slide.
With a Veau Shot, he slammed his foot into one of the Marines. The other men could barely utter an exclamation before Sanji went after the rest.
The leader took a step back as the carnage ended with Sanji atop the beaten bodies of his men,"Black Leg Sanji..." he held his sword out,"You got a lot of ner-OH SHIT!" He watched as a flaming leg came towards him.
He was slammed into a wall,"Please don't hurt me." he wimpered as Sanji came closer.
"..." Sanji pointed to the man's cigarette,"Give me that pack."
"... Okay?" The man pulled out a pack from his pocket and gave it to the cook.
Sanji stared at it.
There was a long period of silence before Sanji dropped the packet and kicked the man into orbit,"THIS IS A KNOCK-OFF BRAND!"
Sanji threw the carton into the ground... and then noticed his friends coming in.
Luffy let out a disappointed,"Aw, couldn't you have left some for us!?"
Nami sighed,"I didn't expect this carnage from Sanji..."
"Withdrawal will do that to you." Robin said.
Chopper looked at the carton and then up to Sanji,"Sanji... you threw that carton away?" He began to sob,"So you are listening!" He ran over and hugged him.
Sanji blinked a few times and then sighed,"Yeah..."
A few weeks passed. Sanji kept cooking,"Well, I am breathing easier! You know what? I should've quit a long time ago!"
The door opened. Zoro and Nami walked in, looking distressed.
"What are you doing here?" Sanji asked. He looked at Zoro,"Our midday argument isn't for another hour!"
Nami moaned as she slumped over the table,"Chopper threw out all the drinking alcohol!"
Zoro looked away,"He said it was bad for our livers."
"..." Sanji frowned. He pointed at them with a knife,"Don't touch my cooking wine."
A/N: This is for my Mom, who is a nurse that loves to give lectures on how bad smoking is!