Author's Note: All of this started with a discussion on Tumblr that was fueled by the people's comments there so you can thank them for this lol.
This series is two parts, with the second part to be posted on Saturday.
Timeline: Set after the Battle of Manhattan, after Nico brought Hazel to Camp Jupiter, and Percy has already gone missing.
It all started… with a blue petal.
Nico had seen and experienced weirder things. When you're living the demigod life, the implications of coughing up a single blue petal was the least of his concerns, especially when there were more pressing matters at hand. So he did what he had always done best in situations that weren't within his control: he ignored it. It was a harmless little petal, what's the worst it could do to him?
He was under the impression that it would eventually go away, but when days turned into weeks and a single petal turned into dozens, it became a pressing matter, but still not at the forefront of his mind. It was negligible at first… until it wasn't. He became more sluggish than usual; started losing more sleep and shaking uncontrollably. He didn't eat a lot to begin with, but he suddenly couldn't stomach almost anything. Breathing became more difficult as he felt petals shift in his lungs and obstruct his air passages, to the point where he had to forcibly get them out multiple times a day before he could function properly.
Seeking advice from his stepmother was his last resort. When no one and no texts between the two camps could identify what was going on with him, as much as he wanted to avoid it, the only logical step left to take was to consult the goddess of spring. When Nico emerged from the shadows, it didn't surprise him to find her strolling in her garden. What surprised him though was the presence of his father, silently following a few steps behind her, watching her every move. He could feel a palpable tension still lingering in the air between them, an aftermath of his little quest with Percy and Thalia in the Underworld.
Sensing his presence, the king and queen of the Underworld turned to face his direction, and he immediately sank to one knee in greeting.
"Father. My lady," he greeted, keeping his head lowered.
"Son," Hades acknowledged, pausing then frowning as he took in his son when Nico raised his head. Nico was certain his father was seeing how his body had deteriorated over the few weeks they hadn't seen each other. "What brings you here?"
"I have a question, and I believe only my stepmother can answer. May I ask, my lady?" Nico politely inquired, directing his attention to his stepmother, to which Persephone raised one of her delicate brows in response.
"Speak, child," she permitted.
"What does it mean… if I'm coughing up petals?" Carefully reaching into the pockets of his jacket, he clutched onto a handful of the petals before he slowly presented them to the goddess of spring.
The temperature around the three of them plummeted dangerously low all of a sudden, and Nico could only watch with surprise and the barest amount of fear as the ground was suddenly covered in frost with the living flowers in the garden withering one by one. Nico diverted his eyes to his father - the only person who could possibly cause this - and found that he was looking at Nico with an emotion akin to dread. From beside him, the Goddess of Spring paled.
"... petals, you say? You're coughing up petals?" Persephone questioned, as if the physical proof in Nico's hand wasn't enough. She reached forward and carefully held his hand, noting the tinge of pink on the blue petals. "How long has this been going on?"
"Since the Battle of Manhattan," he answered truthfully, flinching when the petals in his hands withered and were slowly being covered by frost as well.
"Undo it," Hades' demanded in a cold voice, his obsidian black eyes silently burning with anger as he glared at his wife. Persephone flinched as she stepped to the side, establishing distance between them.
"You know that's not how it works, husband," she tried to reason, but cracks suddenly started appearing on the ground, and the souls threaded into the cloth of Hades' black flowing robes began howling and wailing in agony.
"Undo the curse you put onto my child, Persephone!"
Pursing her lips, she hesitated for only a second before she nodded in compliance. With a wave of her hand, a black mist suddenly materialized, surrounding Nico's entire body as if it had always been there, hidden all along. Persephone beckoned to it, one of her hands clenching into a fist before she pulled it towards her chest. The mist palpitated briefly, wisps floating towards her, but the majority of the mist remained wrapped around the son of Hades' limbs like shackles. With a huff, she tugged on an invisible line more insistently, her hand trembling at the exertion, but the mist moved instead around Nico's neck like a loose noose.
"Enough!" The King of the Underworld barked when he noticed the alarmed look in his son's eyes. With a shaky breath, Persephone unclenched her hand and the mist gradually disappeared, but Nico could still feel it lingering on his neck.
"I told you: it doesn't work that way. A curse that has taken effect cannot be undone," Persephone said in a quiet voice as her eyes darted back and forth between the father and the son.
"Curse? You cursed me?" Nico asked in disbelief, bringing a hand to his neck. When had she cursed him? Why had she cursed him?
The Queen of the Underworld hesitated for a moment, her eyes finding her husband's. Whatever she saw on them immediately caused her to raise her chin indignantly, an icy look taking over her eyes as she redirected her attention to the young demigod.
"It's been so long since I casted it that I have almost forgotten about it. Your mother-" she started, her lips twisting viciously at the word. Nico could only flinch in response at the repulsion in the tone of her voice. "- wasn't the first mortal your father was with. Over the span of thousands of years, he's had multiple lovers. Not as many as Zeus and Poseidon, but nonetheless, he still had lovers."
She walked some distance away from them, stopping in front of a frosted rose bush. With a simple wave of her hand, the frost melted away. Leaning down, she plucked a withered rose and blew gently onto the petals, breathing life into it.
"I hate your father's recurring betrayal. But I hate the… products of his betrayal more," she continued as she plucked away the thorns on the stem, letting them fall onto the ground before she crushed them underneath her feet. "Love grows where trust is laid, and love dies where trust is betrayed. So, as a punishment for his betrayals, I placed a curse onto his children."
"I condemn you, children born of 'love', to be loved by no one," the goddess of spring declared. "Just as your father has denied me his complete love and devotion, I'll deprive you from ever having it. You might come to know what it feels to give, but you'll never experience what it feels to have it returned."
"Those petals? They are a representation of the love you harbor. To love so intensely that it will suffocate you, that is my curse on you. Your body will gradually wither and die as the flowers slowly kill you from the inside out. And the only way to be free of this curse…"
She paused, looking down on him. She handed the de-thorned rose to him, and he could only take it numbly as he tried to process her words. There was mockery in her eyes as she spoke again, but her eyes conveyed a depth of sadness for the fate that awaited him.
"... is if your 'love' is wholeheartedly reciprocated."
No joke could be crueler than what the goddess just said.
"You just said that you condemned me to be loved by no one," Nico shakily breathed, staring at the spring goddess as if she was the worst monster he had ever encountered.
"I'm dying… and there's no cure." It wasn't a question. The details were clear to him - he was cursed to ultimately die.
"Who is it?" Hades demanded from Nico.
"Who made those flowers bloom?" Persephone asked while giving him a forlorn smile.
There was only one answer to those questions, but he was still in denial.
I'm not in love. It can't be love.
But when the word 'love' popped into his head, only the memory of sitting on the fire escape under heavy rain, an all-too warm and comforting hand, and a boy with sea-green eyes came to mind.
He didn't give them an answer. With a vengeance, he crushed the rose in his hand, and it unsurprisingly brought him to his cabin in Camp Half-Blood. Rushing to the bathroom, he parted his lips as he knelt in front of the toilet. With a trembling hand, he brought two fingers to the back of his mouth, forcing him to heave and vomit those once seemingly innocent blue petals.
Love, as it turned out, was beautifully wicked and wickedly beautiful. Love killed his mother, Bianca's love for him killed her, and now, 'love' was killing Nico.
A few weeks into finding out about his curse, he was able to grasp a few things about it.
The first thing he found out was that the flowers he was coughing were called forget-me-nots. Despite the fact that it was killing him, he found morbid amusement in the irony of its name. Here he was, trying to forget Percy on the off chance that it might save him from a tragic death, but here were the flowers, suggesting otherwise. The flowers, as he found out, signified true and eternal love, and devotion. Love, he mocked in his head. It took getting cursed for him to conclude that his emotions for the son of Poseidon weren't merely a passing crush. It also took getting cursed for him to know that it was never going to be reciprocated. He knew Percy felt nothing for him - he was dating Annabeth after all. But, in the deepest corner of Nico's heart, he still clung onto a tiny bit of hope that there was a chance. Or once been. The petals wickedly confirmed there was none.
The flower also symbolizes remembrance in parting or after a death.
Don't forget me even when I die.
Nico wondered how desperate were his feelings for the flowers to reflect that. It scared him how, internally, he had come into terms with his death.
The second thing he realized was that Percy was the trigger for the coughing fits. It didn't matter that he wasn't physically there; anything that was associated with the teen would cause an attack. It wasn't obvious at first - he went to Percy's cabin at one point while searching for his whereabouts and the scent of sea breeze, Percy's scent, just hit him. Before he could process what was happening, he was suddenly coughing out handfuls of petals into his hands. He left no traces of that time, the shadows swallowing the petals off elsewhere before he shadow-traveled to his cabin just as the next attack hit him.
The mention of Percy's name at times would also cause sudden stirrings in his chest before he would find himself hiding in dark corners, coughing handfuls of petals. Ever since, he avoided Camp Half-Blood as much as he could, only stopping by to give the daughter of Athena the same update: No, he didn't find Percy. There were no signs or traces of him. It was as if he simply disappeared off the face of the earth.
He moved between Camp Jupiter and Camp Half-Blood, searching for the son of Poseidon in between, all the while letting the curse run its course. Everyday was a rinse and repeat. For months, that was how it had been.
Funny how something as simple as 'Hey! I've brought a friend!' would serve as a prelude to his inevitable descent.
As soon as Nico saw that familiar figure, his first thought was not 'What is he doing here?'. The unbidden thought that popped into his head was…
I missed you.
It was only the universal truth that Percy wasn't his that held him in place and stopped him from making a miserable fool out of himself.
Months. They had been searching for months. Who would have thought that he would eventually end up here in New Rome? And then it occurred to him: what was Percy doing here in New Rome?
"This is Percy Jackson. He's a good guy," Hazel continued as they approached, unaware how the increasing proximity was making Nico's heart pound erratically in his chest. "Percy, this is my brother, the son of Pluto."
"... Pleased to meet you." Surprisingly, Nico's voice came out leveled, and he was able to quickly compose himself as he extended a hand towards the son of Poseidon. "I'm Nico di Angelo."
Percy scowled. "I-I know you…" He said warily as he took Nico's hand in his. Nico knew what it would feel like before Percy took his hand. Percy's hand was warm, too warm, like the previous times Nico held it. It felt like it belonged there. His eyes looked directly into Nico's, searching for an answer, a confirmation. His hand tightened against the son of Hades', causing Nico's conviction to falter for a second.
Nico raised his eyebrows instead. "Do you?" He asked, feigning incredulity at the claim. He could see Hazel frown in his peripheral vision, but he didn't acknowledge it as he kept his full attention on the son of Poseidon.
Do you know me well enough to know that I'm doing again what I have to do to keep you safe? His eyes seemed to ask as they stared back into those sea-green he had missed all these months. Or do you know me just enough to think that I'm betraying your trust once more?
If that's the case, will you wrap this hand around my throat once more and suffocate the life out of me? Or will these flowers that you made bloom put an end to me?
But… if you do remember me enough…
No. He couldn't hope.
Nico carefully extracted his hand from Percy's before stepping back. For a microsecond, it seemed as if the son of Poseidon didn't want to let go, but it was only for a passing moment that Nico could believe he was deluding himself once more. Moving both his hands behind him, he subtly pressed one of them to the small of his back, silently killing the flowers from inside of him as they suddenly tried to rapidly crawl up his throat. It allowed him temporary relief as he continued to converse with his sister and Percy, but he knew it would come back and bite him hard.
Persephone warned him once not to kill the flowers, but he was desperate not to be found out. Big mistake.
Niccolò di Angelo was only thirteen when he started coughing out blood, buds and fully bloomed flowers. He was just thirteen, but he was already knocking on the doors of death. The moment he held Percy's hand again, he knew he would do everything to make sure Percy would make it out alive once more, even at the cost of his life. The moment he held Percy's hand again, he knew there was no escaping his own death.
Months later, Nico had to reconsider that maybe Percy wasn't the only one who didn't know him as well as he thought.
At this point, he was beyond exhausted - the curse, going through Tartarus alone, and being put in a death trance for days… they had all taken a toll on his body. He was now a shadow of his former self - now painfully thin, and his clothes hanging loosely on his skeletal frame. He couldn't eat, couldn't sleep, couldn't breathe. He wondered how he was alive at this point.
As much as it pained him to admit, although having them suffer through the same fate as he did was the last thing he could ever wish for, it helped that Percy and Annabeth weren't on-board the Argo II to trigger the curse. It was still a horrible and painful sensation; he'd rather not imagine how bad it could go if he was in their presence. No one in the crew was aware of what he was going through, not even Hazel. He had painstakingly hidden the truth from all of them, using the shadows to hide the now bloodied forget-me-nots. He didn't care where they ended. As long as they were out of sight, anywhere was fine. He was doing so well.
It took one god to drag his secrecy out into the open. Of course, as if his curse hadn't mocked him enough, it had to be a Love god.
Jason wasn't the only one to see flashbacks of his memories with Percy - of Percy - that all seemed dazzlingly bright despite the pain most of them harbored.
It's because of love, Cupid supplied. Nico wanted to kill the god there and then, but he just let the memories wash over him and Jason.
I really lost myself in loving you, didn't I?
He couldn't recognize himself anymore in these memories. Where had that ten-year-old innocent kid gone? How much of himself did he lose all for this hopeless love? How much more of himself would he lose all for this hopeless love?
He could feel the waves of pain crashing over and over again in his heart, but he had become so used to it that he forgot how overwhelming it used to be. From his peripheral vision, he watched as tears unwillingly spilled from the son of Jupiter's eyes as he experienced a fraction of the pain Nico had to live with throughout his life.
When it was over and done, he'd lost all of his strength to fight as Cupid materialized in front of him, extending the scepter towards his direction with one hand.
"Why?" Nico had to ask, glaring at the god. "What's the point in having me admit to all of these? What did you have to gain?"
For the first time, Cupid smiled sympathetically as Nico reached forward to clutch onto the artifact.
"No love should remain unspoken. The love that you have, especially for Percy Jackson, deserved to be acknowledged. No one should be misunderstood to the point of reclusion for the things they do in the name of Love," Cupid said, pointedly glancing at Jason before he dissolved into the wind.
What a meddlesome god, Nico thought bitterly, clutching onto the staff with a death grip. He turned to face the son of Jupiter, only to find Jason already staring at him, looking at him as if this was the first time he was meeting the son of Hades. Fortunately, he didn't look at him with pity or sympathy; Nico didn't want to deal with either of that. He just looked… sad.
"Nico, you're dying…?" was the first thing Jason asked. Right, Nico flinched. His memories had shown that.
"Yes. I've had a foot in the grave for months," Nico said dismissively as he walked past Jason. There was no point in lying, but at the same time, there was no point in discussing it.
"Is that why you look like… that?"
Nico paused mid-step, turning to face the son of Jupiter once more.
"Like what?"
Jason opened his mouth to speak but hesitated. He did it a few times, to the point that Nico almost found it comical, before he was able to get the words out of his mouth.
"Your eyes look so shattered. As if something had been permanently broken."
"Maybe. Ta-… That place did a number on me too," Nico agreed. He couldn't say the name of the place without being reminded of the horrors he saw. That place broke something in him, but Percy Jackson broke a whole lot more.
"Why didn't you tell any of us?" Jason asked, sadness shining through his electric blue eyes.
"For what?" Nico challenged, arching one of his brows. He wasn't sure if Jason was referring to his curse or his sexuality. He took it as both.
"You can't fix me. I can't fix me. No one can…" He whispered towards the end, his hands trembling at his sides. Whether it was out of anger towards his pathetic situation or effects of the curse, he couldn't be certain. "Don't you understand? I was cursed from the moment I existed. I was cursed to die and be unloved by anyone. The only cure there is for this 'disease' is for the person I love to love me back. Me - the one condemned to be unloved."
Jason flinched in response, his hands clenching into tight fists, but he said nothing in return. He couldn't have said anything in return.
"... Does Hazel have the same curse?" Jason asked, wisely changing the main subject. Visibly, Nico's shoulders slumped.
"No. I'm pretty sure Hazel's safe," he assured. Maybe because Hazel already died, or perhaps the curse was only to his father's Greek children, Nico couldn't be certain. But ultimately, Hazel was safe - she had Frank. He should feel bitter that only he was 'conveniently' afflicted with the curse, but he wouldn't wish this on Hazel, or anyone else for that matter. Rotting away from the inside… it wasn't how he wanted to go.
"Does she know? That you're…"
"No. You better keep your mouth shut about it," Nico warned, giving Jason a scathing glare. Where most would just stand down, the son of Jupiter persisted.
"Nico, she will eventually find out. She's your sister: she has to know. She'll feel betrayed if she has to find out in another way."
She'll be fine, he almost insisted, but then he remembered Bianca and the grudge that he harbored afterwards. He knew Hazel wasn't like him, but holding a grudge was a fatal flaw the children of the Underworld all shared mutually. Would she try to bring him back from the Underworld as well? No, he couldn't let that happen. He couldn't put her safety at risk, not when she just got her life back.
"... Fine. But only her. You better keep your mouth shut from the others," Nico relented.
"I swear, I will," Jason promised in a gentle voice. He opened his mouth again, as if he wanted to say something else, but closed it as he thought better of it. There was no point in hiding it now though, was Nico's thought, as he gestured for the son of Jupiter to just continue. "I just wanted to let you know that I'm here if you need any help. And that I think Percy would feel honored to know how much you've done for him."
"Honor can't save me, Jason," Nico said with a bitter laugh. "Only his love can." But regardless of what he did or would do in the name of Love, it would never be enough to buy over Percy's heart.
Cupid said that his love deserved to be acknowledged, but for him, what difference would it make?
I'm still going to die.
"We should get back to the ship," the son of Hades said after a while, done with the conversation.
"Yeah. I can fly us-"
"No," Nico announced. "This time, we're shadow-traveling. I've had enough of the winds for a while."
In the end, Piper also found out about his secret. It was unavoidable; she noticed a shift in his and Jason's dynamics and had grown suspicious of Jason being defensive of him all of a sudden. It was only a matter of time before she found out, and Nico would rather that it be on his own terms.
"I'm dying," he told her and Hazel one day, at the same time. They were inside Jason's room while said owner of the room stood outside the door, keeping a lookout. He hesitantly opened his hand, showing them the dried yet bloodied forget-me-nots he had coughed out earlier that morning. He couldn't help thinking how they were tragically beautiful despite all the pain it was putting him through. He explained to them his curse in full detail, withholding nothing. It was easier to disclose the truth when he had already accepted his fate.
He expected for them to look at him with disgust or scorn, but he was surprised to find them looking at him with horror and concern. Hazel was looking at him as if he had betrayed her trust, and he could understand that. He hid it from her for months. She was supposed to know this first as his sister, but Jason clearly found out before her, whether it was intentional or not. In Nico's defense, no one was supposed to find out. He was prepared to die all on his own in secrecy, but some meddling, problematic god had a different plan in mind for him.
"I'm going to honor my promise," Nico said as Hazel took his hands in hers. They felt warm. Not as warm as his, but… "I'll take you to Epirus. I'll help you close the Doors of Death. Then that's it. I'm leaving - forever."
It might buy him some time, but in the end, he was still going to die. There was no changing the inevitable. He would rather die in solitude than in their presence.
"I don't understand," Piper spoke this time, frowning as she looked at him. Carefully, she placed a hand on his shoulder, gauging if it would make him uncomfortable. It did, but only to a small degree. "You could have told us. I understand that we just met, but why did you hide it from us? All this time, you kept everything to yourself. You pushed us away and you let us-..."
Think the worst of me? He wanted to finish for her, but he couldn't. Piper seemed like a genuinely nice person.
No one was perfect. Nico certainly wasn't. But he couldn't help but let his thoughts spiral downwards. Why did it sound as if they were solely blaming him for what they thought of him? It wasn't just because he distanced himself, they subconsciously pushed him away as well.
Did any of them come to ask him how he was doing after literally going through hell all on his own? Did any of them come to him - or even wondered about him - on the nights he spent sleeping on the maintop, forced to sit upright just so that the flowers wouldn't suffocate him to death in his sleep?
Hypocrites, all of them, a voice so dark whispered in his head, scaring him. It was like a part of Tartarus that latched itself onto him, refusing to let go.
"... It's easier to lose an enemy than it is to lose a friend," he found himself saying instead.
In the evening, Nico found himself standing at the maintop, staring into the never ending darkness that surrounded him. He slowly unclenched his fist and watched as the flowers from that day floated away into the darkness. If only his feelings could disappear just as easily. If only it was as easy to let go.
Why do I keep doing this to myself? Nico wondered for the umpteenth time, casting a sidelong glance at the one person he ever wanted but wasn't meant to have.
How was it that they emerged from the same hellhole but only he was broken?
If you asked, I would have come with you, he found himself thinking while staring at the half pomegranate in front of him. They looked more in love than they did before, and it was crushing his heart.
If it had been him with Percy, would he now be the recipient of that love?
No. There isn't anything to work with. There was no love to blossom; to become stronger. The only things between them were bloodied forget-me-nots, lingering grudges and regrets.
Nico happened to glance up just in time to see Annabeth and Percy lace their fingers together. Just as quickly as he raised his head, he lowered it once more with only his eyes conveying the extent of his pain. He had held that hand a few times, but ultimately, it wasn't his that was meant to stay. Jason grasped onto his arm on one side, Hazel on the other. He was grateful for their attempt to comfort him, but right now, there was a much overwhelming need to be on his own.
Nico had done his part finally, and it was time to say goodbye. He'd give it a day before he would leave; he didn't want to ruin whatever happiness they had at this moment, even if he wasn't included in it. He'd give it a day, but that didn't mean that he would stick around and continue trampling on his heart in the process.
"I can't stay here. I'm going to shower," Nico found himself saying to Jason, keeping his voice low so he wouldn't attract the attention of the others.
"Do you want me to accompany you?" The son of Jupiter asked in a concerned voice, causing Nico to hesitate for a second.
"No. It would be suspicious if both of us go," the son of Hades decided.
Any other day and no one would have said a word about his departure. But of course, luck wasn't on his side.
"Nico? You're not eating more?" Percy's concerned voice called out to him as he silently stood up. He could feel the others staring at his back, and he saw Jason stiffen in his peripheral vision. He could feel a familiar stirring in his chest, and he immediately knew he needed to get out of here before it started.
"No," was all he said through gritted teeth before he hastily willed the shadows to swallow him from the hillside before Percy or anyone else could say anything else. He didn't turn around to check if any of them would follow him, but he prayed to the gods that the son of Jupiter would assist him just this once.
True to his words, he slipped back on deck and into the bathroom designated for them, locking the door behind him. He turned on one of the showerheads in full blast, sticking out immediately into it the hand that touched Percy's just an hour ago. He wanted to erase the feeling of how right it felt to hold that hand again. His emotions were making him delusional, and he knew that they were driving the flowers to bloom in his chest once more.
It couldn't possibly feel right. Percy wasn't his; the flowers that were suffocating him made that clear. Percy himself made it clear with the difference in treatment between him and Annabeth. Annabeth was his greatest love. Nico was nobody to him - someone who was just conveniently there if he needed something done.
Nico managed to place on the side his Stygian Iron sword and take off his aviator jacket and black t-shirt before things started going wrong. He always felt when the flowers bloomed and shifted in his chest: it had always been a slow creeping sensation.
Not this time.
The flowers moved almost violently in his chest, buds blooming way too fast and filling his lungs rapidly. He was suffocating at an alarming rate that not even being trapped in a jar could compare to the sensation. In his desperation, he quickly jammed two of his fingers to the back of his throat, forcing himself to violently vomit whole flowers out, one mouthful after another.
I'm going to die. He thought fearfully, as he collapsed to his hands and knees so the blood and flowers would have an easier passage to get out of his lungs. He jammed two of his fingers to the back of his throat once again, retching dozens more onto the wet ground along with a mouthful of blood. The temperature around him fluctuated, a thin layer of frost slowly covering his hands and spreading throughout the floor, enveloping the flowers in its path. He was feeling light-headed at this point, but he knew he couldn't pass out. If he passed out, he wouldn't be able to cough out the flowers, and if he couldn't get them out… he was certain he would suffocate to death.
There was too much blood, and spit, and flowers scattered all around him. Nico was slowly losing consciousness within a few minutes of this back-and-forth. Eventually, he was able to breathe relatively well, but he was beyond exhausted as his body fell forward, the flowers doing little to cushion his fall.
Lying on the cold, wet floor, the forget-me-not flowers mocked him, just as much as their happiness and love did.
I don't want to die. Please, someone, save me. I'm afraid to die. He desperately begged in his head, tears welling in his eyes as his chest started heaving once more, trapped in the cursed loop of coughing and vomiting the bloodied flowers that bloomed persistently in his chest.
"Nico!" He could hear the doorknob jiggling frantically, but with the thick layer of frost that now covered it, the door wouldn't budge open. There was a series of loud bangs from outside the bathroom, something heavy colliding repeatedly against the door.
"Nico!" Jason broke down the door to the bath with Percy following just seconds behind him. Nico couldn't be bothered to hide the flowers anymore, hacking them until his hands were full of them.
"J-Jason…" He called out at that moment. It took all of him to say his name alone. Please… I don't want to die…
"Shit! Nico, hang on!" the son of Jupiter hissed when the scalding, hot water burned his skin as he reached forward to turn the shower off. The son of Hades couldn't even register that it had been pelting down his now reddened skin.
"Don't touch him!" Nico heard Jason bark out to Percy, the latter's hand hovering just a few centimeters above Nico's skin. Jason grabbed a towel and pushed Percy aside before he wrapped Nico in it. With so little effort, he hoisted the son of Hades in his arms, pushed past the son of Poseidon, and carried him out of the bathroom before breaking into a sprint in the hallway.
"J-Jason, I don't want to die…" Nico rasped to the son of Jupiter as Jason rushed up the stairs, taking two steps at a time.
"You're not going to die, Nico," Jason said through gritted teeth while tightening his hold on him, but Nico could see in his eyes that even he didn't believe his own words.
Stop lying. I know I'm going to die, he wanted to say. But all that left his mouth when he parted his lips was a choked sob before exhaustion finally claimed him.
The next time Nico woke up, it was to the sound of his sister crying. Blearily, he opened his eyes and found himself in the infirmary surrounded by the seven and Reyna. Hazel was by his bedside, crying as she pressed her eyes against her hands that held one of his. Jason and Piper were leaning on the wall beside the bed, both silently staring at the floor, with their hands tightly intertwined between them. Opposite of the bed, Leo, Frank, Reyna, Annabeth and Percy were huddled up, talking in hushed voices.
This is more crowded than what I envisioned for my funeral, he couldn't help but chuckle pathetically at the thought as he closed his eyes, frowning a second later as he tasted blood on his tongue.
"Nico?" He opened his eyes as a reflex of having his name called out. Everyone was staring at him this time, but he only had his eyes on his sister. With a trembling hand, he leaned forward to carefully wipe the tears from the corner of her eyes. It's so unfair. Hazel shouldn't have to experience something like this. She shouldn't have to deal with seeing him die before her eyes and feel helpless, unable to do anything.
"Hey," he whispered, his lips curling up in an attempt to smile. But he hadn't done it for so long it felt foreign on his face. Belatedly, he noticed that his arms and torso were wrapped in bandages.
"Nico! How… How are you feeling?" Hazel asked as she immediately stood up to move closer, her hands cupping his cheeks. It felt warm… so warm. He hadn't felt this type of warmth ever since Bianca died.
"Like I'm one foot in my grave," Nico tried to joke, but his voice was thick with emotion. For once, it wasn't the flowers suffocating him.
"Don't say that!" Hazel shouted at him, and Nico could only watch as the gold in her eyes seemed to melt in her anger. It was beautiful. She was beautiful. "Please… don't say that," she begged, tears welling up in her eyes once more.
"It's the truth, Hazel. You know I can't escape it," Nico said, cupping her hands on his cheeks with his own. She flinched at the icy coldness of his touch, but before he could pull his hands away, she held them firmly in hers, rubbing their hands together to transfer some warmth in them. His heart ached at the memory of that gesture.
"I won't leave you. I'll keep you company until you feel better."
A ghost of a smile appeared on his lips as he looked down at their hands, but that instantly disappeared as turned to Jason.
"How did you know something was happening to me?" Nico rasped.
"Hazel sensed it." His sister squeezed his hand gently at that. "She felt your soul was slipping away."
Right, Hazel would sense it. Maybe it's because of the fact that they're both children of the Underworld that they were attuned to each other. He grimaced at the thought of Hazel sensing his death. He knew how bad it felt firsthand when he felt Bianca die. It was a sensation he didn't want to go through again. To think that Hazel would have to go through what he did…
"I assume all of them already know," Nico decided to ask the son of Jupiter. Though he said 'all of them', in reality, he was only referring to two specific people. Jason looked at him with guilt, but Nico couldn't find the energy to blame him. Not only was he exhausted, but Percy was with him earlier when he broke down the door to the bath. There was no more hiding the truth, not when the evidence was glaring at the son of Poseidon from the bathroom floor in the form of bloodied forget-me-nots.
"Nico…" Percy started, and Nico could feel the buds in his chest blooming at the sound of his voice. "I-I…"
"It's fine. It wasn't your choice, just as it wasn't mine either," Nico said hastily, raising a hand to cut the son of Poseidon off while his other hand moved to clutch at his throat to prevent himself from coughing. His proximity wasn't helping the son of Hades, and the sound of his voice alone was aggravating the flowers in his chest. "How much do you all know?"
"Everything," Annabeth said. Nico spared a quick glance at her. She looked guilty at that moment, and Nico hated himself for making her feel that way. She was a good person. It wasn't her fault that Nico didn't have the same freedom to love the same person. "I just want to know: is there really no way to cure it?"
If it was possible to manipulate Percy's heart to make him love me instead, would you help me? He wanted to ask. But he wasn't selfish enough to make that demand. There was no way it would be possible either. The Goddess of Spring made it impossible for him to live.
"There's none," he confirmed.
But Hazel begged to differ.
"There is! You know there is!" Hazel exclaimed, pointing an accusatory finger at Percy who was startled at being suddenly addressed.
She stood up from the bed before Nico could stop her, approaching Percy with blazing anger and immense sadness in her eyes.
"Love him!" Hazel begged as she clutched at his shirt, shaking him a few times. "It would remove the curse and heal him! He won't have to die! He shouldn't have to die!" Fresh tears spilled from her eyes as she said that, but at the same time, it was as if the fight in her was gone as she slowly fell onto the floor in front of Percy. Nico couldn't tell if she was pleading with the son of Poseidon, or if it was just her grief pinning her down. The others looked mildly uncomfortable, but no one stopped her. "Please, just love him! Why can't you just love him?!"
Because it doesn't work that way, Nico thought. If it was so easy to change what the heart wanted, then he wouldn't be in this state. For some reason, he found his eyes unintentionally drifting to Percy, only to find the son of Poseidon staring at him with an indiscernible expression. It was ridiculous how his heart skipped a beat at the mere sight of those sea-green eyes whose attention were solely on him. In that split second, he could pretend that there was only him in Percy's world. But the familiar stirring in his chest snapped him back into reality, his eyes becoming panicked.
"Hazel-" He tried calling out for her, but the flowers started clogging up his throat once more and blood started pooling in his mouth.
Nico violently heaved, startling everyone, as a mouthful of blood and a handful of flowers fell onto his hands and onto the sheets. He was looking fearfully into Percy's eyes the entire time, and he could see the same amount of fear reflected in them. Mercifully, someone handed him a metal bucket, and he tore his eyes away from sea-green eyes before he started coughing once more. Probably Jason, he thought, a warm hand rubbing his back as if to help him get the flowers out. His eyes watered at the exertion, and he could only watch in despair as these beautiful, yet wicked flowers filled his vision.
He clutched at the bucket, hugging it to his chest as he carefully pressed his forehead against the rim while trying to regain his breathing some more.
"N-Nectar," he requested, spitting out the last of the flowers for now. There was some shuffling around before someone pressed a shot glass against the skin of one of his hands. Weakly, he looked up to find Piper holding the glass out to him. He tried reaching for it but noticed that both his hands were covered with flowers, spit and blood, and were shaking erratically. Handing the glass to Jason, she wordlessly took the towel from the bedside and used it to wipe both of his hands as clean as she could manage. She hesitated when it came to the blood on his lips, but he just shook his head. Piper took the glass from Jason and brought it to his lips. He downed it in one go, temporary relief coursing through his veins. "Another one… please." Murmuring his thanks, he waited for a few seconds before he downed the next one as quickly as the first.
"What's the plan now?" He rasped after a while, pointedly changing the topic as he pushed the bucket away. Jason silently took it and placed it on the floor by the side of the bed while Nico wiped at his lips with the back of his hand. At some point, Hazel moved back to the bed by his side, her hands clutching tightly to one of his once more.
"Reyna and Coach Hedge will take the statue back to Camp Half-Blood while we continue to Athens," Annabeth spoke. Nico nodded tiredly in understanding and to indicate that he was listening. "But we haven't figured out how to transport it. Hazel suggested using the Labyrinth but it's way too unpredictable and dangerous now. Frank offered to take it, but…"
"The two of them can't," Reyna concluded. "They're part of the prophecy. We'll potentially doom the world if we try to go against the prophecy."
… The answer is obvious, isn't it? Nico chuckled bitterly, his eyes shining with a manic glint at the absurdity of the situation. He had a few choice cuss words in mind, but he didn't know which god he should direct them to. Or perhaps, this was the Fates at play. Whoever it was, they must really hate his existence with a vengeance and were pushing for him to die quicker. So much for his plans to leave.
"I'll bring the Athena Parthenos to Camp Half-Blood with Reyna and Coach Hedge via shadow-travel," the son of Hades decided, startling everyone in the room. Surprisingly, it was Jason who protested first.
"Nico, you can't just-!"
"It's the only way," Nico cut him off. "You all know it's the only option we've got. We don't have a lot of time." I don't have a lot of time, he wanted to say. "I'm not asking for anyone's permission. I'm going."
"You told us you would leave," Hazel reminded him. From his peripheral vision, he noticed Percy draw in a sharp breath at the information. Contrary to what Annabeth claimed, it seemed that Hazel, Jason and Piper still withheld some information from them. Hah, what are you going to do about it? A part of him wanted to sarcastically remark. Kill me? I'm dying anyway. "I-It might buy you more time, and w-we can help find-"
"I'm out of time," he said with certainty and grim acceptance.
Besides, isn't this the reason why you all saved me? You needed insurance. In case things go haywire, you all need a 'spare' to get you out of situations. Someone dispensable: me. The funny thing was, if that was truly the reason why they saved him from that jar, he wouldn't even be angry at them.
"Then I'll go with you," Hazel immediately said, her voice firm with her conviction. He wished she could, but it wasn't a wish Nico could respect.
"No, Hazel. You're needed here. You heard what Reyna said: you're part of the prophecy - all of you. Reyna and Coach Hedge are not. I'm not," he reminded them, glancing around the room. Even though he knew it would hurt Percy, Nico avoided looking into his sea-green eyes, knowing it would just trigger another attack. No matter how hurt he is, he's not the one dying, Nico justified his actions.
Nico never was officially part of any prophecy or quest. He just injected himself into these situations because Percy needed help and saving. He was just someone who was foolish enough to sacrifice himself so people like Percy and Annabeth would live to tell their epic story. A stepping stone, that was all he was to Percy.
"I can't just leave you, Nico." I don't want to be alone either, he wanted to say. But he couldn't bring himself to be selfish. The gods had a plan. He just wasn't a part of it.
"You have to," was his curt response.
What Nico didn't expect out of all of this was Jason and Piper inserting themselves into his life. Hazel was a constant - she didn't want to leave his side - but it was either Jason or Piper or both who remained by his side. It felt… odd to be fussed about. It felt… nice.
Perhaps this was his last mercy from the Fates.
Everyone else tiptoed around him. The smallest cough from him would cause the others to look at him in a panic, as if they were expecting that he would drop dead the next second. And when he did have a coughing fit, the rest could only watch helplessly as he spilled the flowers onto the metal bucket. He pointedly ignored the looks they gave him, full of pity and sympathy.
Where was all of this when I was struggling to deal with everything after Tartarus? When I couldn't eat, and I couldn't sleep… Why did I only deserve your pity and sympathy when you found out I'm dying? A dark voice wanted to taunt them, but he forced it to the back of his head.
A warm hand grasped his arm gently, dragging him back to reality. Looking to the side, he noticed Jason looking at him and his untouched plate with concern. He didn't even realize he was brooding until the son of Jupiter silently called him out on it. Nico didn't need to glance around the table to know that the others' attention was all on him as well. It wasn't as suffocating as the flowers in his chest, but it was still suffocating, nonetheless. He had to get out, but he didn't trust himself to be alone like the previous time.
"Can I talk to you in private?" Nico softly asked the son of Jupiter. The rest of the table suddenly became silent as they indiscreetly glanced between the sons of Hades and Jupiter, but no one said a word when Jason helped Nico up to the deck. They sat side-by-side on the floor, their backs resting on the masts.
Jason said nothing, waiting for the son of Hades to speak, to which Nico was silently grateful for. It was still slightly uncomfortable for him to be around the son of Jupiter. In a way, he and Percy were so similar, and perhaps that was why he had the subconscious expectation that Jason would let him down as well. But he hadn't. So far, he hasn't, but Nico knew he wasn't going to stick around long enough to be proven otherwise.
"I'm sorry. I got your clothes wet back then and you had to carry me. You also had to give up your room for me," Nico started, fidgeting with the silver skull ring on his thumb.
"It's fine, Nico. I said I'll be there if you need any help," Jason said from beside him with a small smile.
"You did," Nico acknowledged. He wasn't used to people keeping their promises to him, so he wasn't expecting much from Jason when he said he would help him. It felt nice to not be betrayed for once. It felt nice to have someone he could depend on. "Thanks for keeping your promise. Thanks for… for being a friend."
"You're welcome," Jason replied, the smile on his lips becoming just a tad bit brighter when Nico finally acknowledged him as a friend. But the smile on his lips only lasted for so long as he continued, looking down at Nico's ring as well. "We might have told Percy and Annabeth to keep their distance. Percy didn't want to, but he understood he had to so your… condition won't become worse."
"You don't have to tiptoe around me. You can just say 'so you won't die faster'," Nico joked but Jason didn't laugh. His lips were pressed into a thin line at the grim reminder. "Thanks, but you didn't need to do that. The three of you defending me… that's not the right call. The seven of you need to be able to depend on each other when the time comes."
Not that their warning mattered. At some point, Percy still entered Jason's room. Nico was so attuned to his soul that he could sense him even from a great distance. He pretended to be asleep so he could avoid a confrontation, but maybe it would have been better if Nico just avoided the son of Poseidon altogether.
"Please don't leave," Percy begged as he sat on the furthest edge of the bed while looking at Nico. He couldn't see, but he could feel Percy raise his hand a couple of times, as if he wanted to reach out to the son of Hades. But in the end, he just sat there silently for gods know how long before he eventually left the room.
That's not fair, Nico wanted to call out to him. Percy was selfish. The most selfish person he ever met. How can I stay if you can't love me? How will I live if you can't love me?
It wasn't his fault though. Nico couldn't blame him - him and Annabeth. He'd rather they didn't find out until after he died. Then at least he didn't have to spend the rest of his time left in living with the guilt of making them feel that their love was slowly killing him.
"Can I ask you a favor?" Nico asked after a while, looking at Jason. He was taking a leap of faith here, but something told him he could trust Jason that much for what he was about to ask of him.
The son of Jupiter seemed surprised, but hastily nodded.
"When I'm gone - and I will be - can you tell them that I don't blame either of them? Especially Percy. The demigod life hasn't really been kind to him. He's already blamed himself for so many deaths. I just don't want to add to that number. Promise me you'll tell him that," Nico requested.
Jason gave him a forlorn smile in return, and somehow, he could understand why. He was dying, but he was still thinking about Percy. He was dying, but he was still thinking about the boy who made him nurture this feeling, this curse. It would be a lie to say that he wished he had never loved Percy. But he resented himself for knowing that Percy had such a strong hold on him, to the point that he would do anything for the son of Poseidon.
"... how long?" Jason asked. How long do you have left?
"If I'm lucky?" Nico pondered about it. "...Weeks. But knowing my luck, days."
"And you're sure we can't just take the flowers out?" Jason asked for the umpteenth time. Perhaps if he asked enough, the answer might change. But the truth was, they already knew what fate laid ahead for the son of Hades. Nico himself had already accepted it. But he answered nonetheless.
"I tried killing it from the inside. It didn't work, they just grew faster."
"I want to help. Gods, why can't we help you?" the son of Jupiter harshly whispered as he slumped forward, clutching at a fistful of his own hair as he glared at the wooden floor out of frustration.
"Maybe I'm just not meant to be saved," Nico offered while staring at the skull on the ring: a grim reminder of his impending demise.
"Why?! Why do you have to do it?!" Hazel stamped her foot out of anger.
Piper bit her lips from beside Hazel, as she watched the son of Hades. Meanwhile, Jason, Reyna and Frank silently tied ropes around the pedestal of the Athena Parthenos, occasionally glancing at the Underworld siblings. They knew where each side was coming from, but there was no perfect answer to the situation. What Nico said was true - that he was the only option they've got. But, by the gods, this would kill Nico. It wasn't even a mere possibility, this would kill Nico. The fact that Nico was readily accepting his death wasn't sitting well with all of them, especially Hazel.
"Hazel, please…" Nico sighed for the umpteenth time. Once Jason, Reyna and Frank were done, he took the ends of the ropes together, making a halter.
"If you have to go, then I'm going too," Hazel insisted once more, grasping onto his hands.
"Hazel, listen to me. I'm dying," the son of Hades started, pushing through with what he had to say despite the crushed look in his sister's eyes. "I'm dying. That's not going to change. But the fate of the rest of the world - you can change that. You have to change that. They need you here."
"And you don't need me?" I need you, he wanted to say. But he couldn't. Not at the price of the world razing to the ground. "Please, I can't lose you. You're my only family, Nico."
But you are. You're going to lose me, just like how I lost Bianca. This was the fate of children of the Underworld. They're the side characters who would receive all the tragic endings so that the main characters could live happily ever after. He paused as he felt some creeping movements along his chest, and he waited in dread for the flowers to come, but what came seconds later was much worse.
"Hngh!" Nico collapsed to the ground, barely managing to slam his arms against the ground to cushion his fall as a sharp pain flared from his insides, intensifying and spreading throughout his body with every second that passed. It hurt so bad; it was as if he was being split open from the inside.
"Nico! What's wrong?" Hazel and Jason immediately went to his side, but he couldn't even pay attention to them as he watched with horrified eyes as roots started crawling from underneath his pale skin, slowly spreading along the length of his arms. He knew they could see it as well, their expressions matching his. He was running out of time.
"We have to go. Now!" Nico barked as he forced himself to stand up. Even with Jason assisting him on one side, and Frank on the other, it was getting increasingly difficult to move his joints as the roots were slowly locking them in place. This was a thousand times worse than when he was trapped inside the jar. Gritting his teeth, he forcibly bent his arms and legs, choked sobs passing through his lips as the roots audibly snapped underneath his skin. He gained back some of his mobility, but the pain was unimaginable at this point.
"Nectar," Piper said, offering the small glass to him with trembling hands while the others could only watch helplessly. But Nico just shook his head, moving past all of them as he shadow-traveled to the ship to get his jacket and sword.
Hurry, he told himself as he stumbled into Jason's room. Please, just let me last until I get this done, he begged whichever god was still listening to him at that point as he hastily put on his jacket on the bed, trying not to cry as the realization that he likely only had days left settled heavily on his shoulders.
Maybe they shouldn't have saved me back then, he thought bitterly as his thoughts drifted back to when he was stuck inside the jar. The suffocation was bad, but at least it was painless. Not this, where his own body was his opponent, suffocating him, trapping him, killing him from the inside. He jerked his limbs again, trying to get back as much mobility as he could, suppressing his pain through soft whimpers as broken roots snapped and shifted under his skin. He was finding it more difficult to breathe. He could cough up the flowers to reduce the suffocation in his chest, but the roots were slowly sealing up his air passages as well.
"Nico…?"
No, not now! He angrily thought as he looked up at the ceiling, angrily blinking away the tears that threatened to spill. The last thing he needed was a confrontation and for Percy to see him in this state. He wasn't weak… He didn't want him of all people to think that he was weak.
When he found himself not seconds away from breaking down in front of the son of Poseidon, he grabbed his sword from beside the bed and securely placed it on his side before he cautiously turned to Percy who was leaning on the wall beside the door. Nico couldn't meet his eyes.
"What are you doing here, Percy?" He asked in a surprisingly leveled voice.
"Are you leaving now?" Percy asked, looking at him with a frown. Without saying goodbye, was unspoken. "I-I wanted to talk to you before that."
"Sure," Nico obliged easily. "Better make it count. This might be the last time we're ever going to be speaking to each other."
Percy gave a grimace of pain for what he said but didn't try to say otherwise unlike the rest. He didn't need to hear another 'You're not going to die', especially not from the person who was both his curse and his unattainable cure.
"You said back then that we could be friends," Percy said, a slight accusatory tone to his voice. Nico couldn't blame him. He's hidden a lot of things from Percy throughout the years, but this one took the cake.
He couldn't remember when he had said that, not that it mattered. Add that to the pile of broken promises between us. "Guess I lied," Nico shrugged.
"All this time, I was hurting you. I couldn't see that…" Percy said, the guilt shining through in his eyes. He wouldn't meet Nico's eyes, but his eyes were always so clear to the son of Hades that Nico could tell what he's feeling with just a simple glance. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I was hoping," Nico admitted, earning a confused tilt of the head from the older male.
"... Hoping?" Percy hesitantly repeated.
"That it might save me. That it would make me hate you instead," Nico clarified. He pretended that he didn't see how heartbroken those eyes seemed upon hearing his words as he pointedly looked away. "But it didn't."
He couldn't recognize the person he had become from loving Percy. He became someone else he never knew - someone who made excuses, sacrifices and a lot of compromises for one person. He had given his all for Percy - to Percy - but even then it seemed like it wasn't enough to make Percy reciprocate his feelings. Why would he? You don't go looking around for something you already have. Percy had love - the greatest and most epic love - with Annabeth. He didn't need the tragic kind that Nico could only offer.
He couldn't hate Percy for it. He couldn't hate Percy at all.
I guess that is love for you.
It was completely unreasonable, but he accepted it for what it was.
"Will it go away if I kiss you?" The son of Poseidon suddenly asked. Nico laughed at the absurd suggestion, but when Percy didn't, russet-brown eyes finally met sea-green eyes and found nothing but the truth and determination in them.
"This is not some stupid fairytale. It's not some simple bruise or scar or wound that will just magically go away. It's a curse," Nico repeated what Percy should already know by now. "Besides, I don't need your sympathy. I don't need you cheating on Annabeth to play hero."
"She knows," Percy clarified, looking away from the son of Hades when Nico's eyes widened in surprise. "I-I told her. It's an act of love; it should count. If it could save you-"
"It won't." It won't save him. He was certain that it would do him more harm than good.
"You don't know that," Percy said, frowning. He looked into Nico's eyes and, whatever it was he saw, it caused him to give a forlorn smile.
"I'm very sure that it won't."
"What's the harm in trying?"
There was a lot of harm in trying. It was him trying and trying to get Percy to acknowledge him, to love him, that gradually destroyed him. He desperately gave Percy parts of himself that he couldn't take back, and Percy just let them fall and shatter into indiscernible pieces on the ground, to the point where Nico couldn't pick them back up. He had gone through this same pain throughout the years, but even something so cruel couldn't seem to make his heart unlove Percy.
Even as he cruelly dangled the one thing Nico wanted for years, Nico couldn't bring himself to unlove him. Because for as long as he spent wanting to hate Percy, he loved him immensely for much longer.
Nico crossed the distance between them in a few steps, claiming Percy's lips as if they rightfully belonged to him instead. He kissed him as if his life depended on it - it did - and he was surprised to find that Percy was kissing him back with just as much desperation as him, his arms pulling Nico flush to him until there was no space left between them.
Please love me. Please want me enough for my heart to think that you love me, he silently begged as he tangled his fingers into Percy's hair.
This should be right. It felt right, but the flowers in his chest violently protested within a few seconds. He didn't have enough time to push Percy before he suddenly coughed, a few flowers passing through his lips and into the other's mouth. Nico harshly pushed Percy away as he fell to the floor, violently retching up the dozens of flowers that constantly mocked him.
Why?! He demanded in silence as he glared at the flowers on the floor, clutching onto them in fistfuls out of anger. Percy just stood in front of him, his hands clenched hard into fists around the flowers he had taken out of his mouth, his eyes filling with more pain the more flowers came out from between Nico's lips. Why is it not enough?!
Why is my love not enough? Nico asked, a tear slipping from the corner of his eyes as he struggled to regain his breathing. He released the flowers from his hands, letting his shadow envelop them and take them away out of his sight. He shakily wiped his hands against his pants, his blood blending onto the dark fabric. He kept asking himself the same question, but in reality, he knew the answer all along. It was not that his love wasn't enough. It just wasn't for Percy.
"That's the harm in trying. I-I told you…" He rasped as he slowly stood up, clutching at the fabric of his shirt atop his chest. With the back of his hand, he wiped away traces of his blood and the forbidden taste of Percy on his lips. He kept his head lowered as he moved past the son of Poseidon, his free hand coming to touch the door knob. "It doesn't work that way…"
"I can't lose you too, Nico. I just can't," Percy whispered as Nico opened the door. The son of Hades paused, blankly staring at the empty hallway for a few seconds before he turned around with an exhausted smile on his lips.
"You can't lose something that was never yours, Percy," he whispered back, but it was loud enough in the silence between them.
He was so used to people walking away from him that it never occurred to him that he could do the same. As he stepped into the hallway and slowly made his way to the upper deck, not once did he spare a glance back as he left Percy behind.
Goodbye, my first and last love.
Nico took up the slack on his ropes before he slipped them over his shoulders as if the Athena Parthenos were a giant backpack. The others looked heavily unsettled at the sight of the ropes wrapped around him, like a giant noose around his neck. It was just wrong.
Reyna and Coach Hedge arrived a minute later in full armor with packs over their shoulders. They said their goodbyes to the others before approaching the son of Hades.
"All right," Nico said, coughing once to clear his throat. "Grab the ropes, please."
Reyna and Coach Hedge took hold, but Nico hesitated as he looked around. He gave a nod to Leo, Frank, and even Annabeth, but he paused when his eyes landed on Hazel, Jason and Piper. He hadn't properly said his goodbyes, but did he want to say goodbye?
It was Hazel who stepped forward in his moment of hesitance, wrapping her arms around him, pulling Nico to her warmth. He closed his eyes as he relished it one last time, wrapping his arms as tight as he could around her. None of them said a word for a full minute before Nico finally let her go, placing a soft kiss to her forehead. She cupped her hands against his cheeks, brushing at something moist at the corners of his eyes. He gave a watery laugh as she kissed his cheeks. He leaned to whisper something in her ear, causing her eyes to water in return, before they reluctantly let each other go.
Neither of them said goodbye. If saying goodbye meant forever, they would rather have it unspoken.
Piper followed suit, embracing Nico as carefully as Hazel had while whispering for him to take care. He allowed himself to return her hug, grateful for the care and friendship she had shown him over the past few weeks. Nico wished he had more time to know her. Nico wished he had more time to know all of them and be a proper friend for once, but he was reaching the last leg of his journey. Perhaps in another lifetime, if he was fortunate enough to meet them again…
He let her go, and she stepped away to make room for the son of Jupiter. Jason immediately moved forward with his arms outstretched for a hug, but then froze when Nico instinctively flinched at the gesture.
"Right. No touching. Sorry," Jason mumbled as he lowered his arms.
Nico grunted as he looked towards the side.
"I suppose… We can make an exception just this time-" Nico was barely able to finish his sentence before the son of Jupiter swept him off his feet into a careful hug, squeezing him in his arms lightly, which Nico tried to return as best as he could in his state. "Thank you for everything, Jason. I would say I hope we'll see each other again, but…"
"We'll see each other again," Jason said with a knowing smile as he let Nico down, both of them laughing sheepishly through watery eyes. They would meet again. Maybe not in this lifetime, but they would meet again.
Nico only smiled slightly in return as he let go of Jason before he turned to Percy. There was something in his eyes as he looked at Nico and Jason. Something that, in that moment, Nico couldn't be bothered to care anymore. The moment he walked away from Percy, he had given up. He had admitted his loss. Loving Percy was a losing game. He had given him his everything, and it still wasn't enough. There was nothing else for him to lose.
Say it, a voice in his head encouraged. Say those three words. You've always been screaming it inside your head.
His lips shakily parted as he tried to get the words out, and Percy was looking at them, as if he knew what the son of Hades was going to say. Nico felt a lump in his throat, and it wasn't the flowers this time. He had kept those words in his heart for so long that it felt as if he was forbidden from saying them.
Say you love him.
But in the end, he couldn't. Nico didn't deserve to say it in this lifetime. Percy didn't deserve to hear it in this lifetime.
Souls don't meet by accident. Maybe in another lifetime, you'll find me again. And this time, it might be different for us. Maybe in another lifetime, you'd hear me say these words I've been dying to tell you.
Before he could change his mind, he kissed his silver skull ring and took it off from his thumb before showing it to Percy. The next second, he wordlessly threw it over, smiling just slightly when the son of Poseidon fumbled to catch it. Now, he had truly given Percy his everything.
I hope you keep it. I hope you don't forget me.
"I wish you the best," he said instead, forcing a smile as he willed the shadows to swallow them, just as he willed himself to swallow words of love that were never meant to be.
.
.
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Author's Note:
First of all, I want to address the usual trope in Hanahaki AUs, which is that you can get the flowers removed via surgery. It will save the person but they will lose all their feelings for the other person. I didn't use that just because it wouldn't make sense with a curse.
Second of all, I won't show Nico dying. It just didn't flow well with the story, and with the theme of part two, it made more sense to imply it. Also, there are some parts here in part one that wouldn't make sense unless you read part two. But both parts one and two can be read on their own and they still made sense individually.
That's all for now! Please look forward to the second part. If you have reached this point, thanks for reading and I hope you liked it!