TBB - TCW - Something of a Spin on Things (Boil, Crosshair, Dogma, Kix, Thire PolyBatch)
By GunRoswell
Preface
First Kiss
Hair Care
Alternate Universe (or breaking the Fourth Wall? The Simulation?)
Preface
Set somewhere in the Bad Batch and the Clone Wars galaxy, in the multiverse of things.
Timeline? What Timeline? Canon? Not!
CHSOTM Weekly Prompts:
First Kiss
Hair Care
Alternate Universe
Starring the following clones:
Boil, Crosshair, Dogma, Kix, Thire
Some kind of crack this turned out to be? An anthology of sorts maybe?
Well, there was this dare you see…
Poly-giga-ma-thingy's present there some pleaded?
So, as per usual lotsa euphemisms present with nothing too explicit.
This is/was headed towards something? Most definitely? Yeah? Well, starting with the first two names on the list then.
Alas, please, enjoy!
Part of The Poly Batch series / The Crack Tales series / / Rare pairs / CHSOTM Prompts / Fan Events
First Kiss
'A shared kiss with someone new, even while inebriated, can lead to something unexpected?'
They were all there. The Ghost Company, the 501st, Clone Force 99, the party in full swing. The place was packed to the hilt with clones. The campaign having been successful, the victories a plenty and so, it was time for a small or rather large size shindig. Working hard, partying even harder, am I right?!
There was no shortage of beverages, mostly of the alcoholic variety. As why not? Nobody was getting drunk on juicy alone after all! Nor the music, the bass blasting to the umpteenth the knobs all turned to the farthest southeast without a doubt! There was dancing going on in the designated area… well, all over the place really as the lot could not fit into the tiny stamp size dance floor. So, whatever empty or even half so space there was to find the clones were there, swaying their respective hips in a unified grind. (Cause the hips don't lie! Am I right?!) Not all of them were dancing. Not all the time.
There were a few games going on at the various tables. Sabacc, Rylothian Chess, something called Poker? Something someone had picked up on some remote part of the galaxy. Apparently it was really big there? The game!
It did not take long for the clone in question to teach the rest of them to play and so, the cards were being dealt. Only this time they weren't playing for credits. No, that would have been far too easy. As this, was a game of strip or dare! The game progressed as one by one the losers stepped aside. After some time, three players remaining. Fives, Crosshair and Boil the ones seated at the table now. All three of them having their best 'can't read shit on my face' expressions on. "Raise you with a pair of socks." Fives was reading his cards, having managed to bluff his way so far. But the remaining two were kinda too tough cookies for him to chew on and so having lost his threads really fast as the game had progressed.
"Just, don't put them on the table!" Boil warned Fives not wanting the smell of feet to be added to the mix of whatever else odours there were running rampant in the overheated area with sweaty drunken and horny vod'e grinding against each other wherever or whomever they were "dancing" on. As it sure looked like some of the dance sessions had turned into the more impromptu make out sessions and guess anything and everything was allowed on this eve. And it certainly wasn't just making out some of the couples, triples or groups were doing either. The party slowly but surely turning into one big orgy if things went on like they did. Not that anyone was complaining. This was a private party after all. "Fine!" Fives injected. "Calling yours with a pair of underwear." Fives was sitting in his skivvies and socks on but if he lost the round he would walk out naked. Not that it mattered as there sure were takers for the man's nakedness among the cheering spectators of theirs.
Boil gave Fives a warning glare before turning to look at the unreadable sniper of Clone Force 99. Still fully clothed. Having not lost a single hand so far. Guess things were about to take a turn? Wishful thinking perhaps on Boi's part. Having kind of taking a liking to the sultry clone.
"What of you?" Boil asked Crosshair.
Crosshair was unfazed as he let his gaze wander from one to the other of his opponents. "Dare. No call." (Yeah, making these poker rules up as I go here!)
Oh-oh. Crosshair was about to lose if Boil had a good hand? The comment making the other clone smirk.
It was Boil's turn to glance back from one to the other of his remaining opponents. And then, placing his cards on the table.
"Full house."
"Karking kriffing hellspell!" Fives let out the litany of the most useful words for the situation while starting to remove his remaining "clothing". Socks and skivvies hardly filling the purpose of the meaning but a bet was a bet.
"Keep them." Boil objected not interested in Fives' dirty underwear. "I am sure some of the others around us would prefer them rather than me!"
And as soon as the words left Boil, Fives was grabbed from his seat by several vod'e dragging the almost naked man with them somewhere. His fans as Crosshair had noted at some point. The Arc being rather popular among his fanboys.
"Well?" Boil's gaze was back on Crosshair, pretty sure the sniper had nothing as far as the cards went. Having plenty other things to offer though as far as Boil could see. Crosshair most likely having bluffed his way in the game so far. Not that Boil could blame him. Crosshair was good. Really good. Unreadable. But Boil was better. At least in this new game. And besides, Boil was really interested to dare Crosshair. Having some ideas already as to the what he could do to the sniper. Oh so many ideas.
Crosshair let his toothpick glide from one corner of his mouth to the other. Something which had irritated Boil at first, but after staring at the pick for a moment or few perhaps a tad too long even, he knew what his dare would be. To start things with…
Crosshair placed his cards on the table. He had nothing. Not a single thing except a wicked smirk on his face suddenly.
Boil could not help the curling up of his own lips. Meanwhile giving silent Kudos to the sniper for sticking up this long for sure!
"So, nothing." Boil's gaze was fixed on Crosshair's now. "You lose."
"Perhaps." Crosshair had his own challenging glare on as well. His eyes squinted as he stared back at Boil. Not backing up. Totally ready for whatever dare Boil would be throwing his way. Interested to find out even if he certainly was not letting on he was.
"So dare, right?" Boil wanted to be absolutely clear and so repeating what they had agreed to. The dare.
It wasn't the first dare of the night, but it was for both Crosshair and Boil.
"That's what is said." Crosshair did not budge one inch. Why should he have? He loved challenges. Dares especially. Only hoping he had read the other clone correctly. He usually did. And the long stares of Boil's as the evening had progressed had certainly left no open questions for Crosshair as to where his interests lied.
Boil was quiet for a moment. But then making his mind up he slowly but surely got up and moved to stand right beside where Crosshair was seated at the end of the table.
Without preamble Boil's hand made its way under Crosshair's chin, tilting the snipers head so he was looking up and at Boil. Boil all commanding, demanding even.
"Dare." Boil repeated with a wide grin as he leaned down, his lips on Crosshair's.
The kiss hungry, Boil's tongue demanding entrance as he probed the sniper's mouth with the intrusive appendix. Crosshair was hardly objecting. Letting the other man devour him, taste him, responding with a soft whine letting Boil do whatever he wanted.
They must've held their lip-lock for the longest while with the crowd around them having gone completely silent. All of them glaring at the unexpected spectacle, being most likely better than any soft core holo porn they could've been watching. Being live and all.
The need to breathe finally broke off the rather heated and hungry kissing session. The two men simply glaring at each other for a moment. Both breathing heavily, while their fans around them started hooting and hollering. A few demanding an encore.
Boil decided to take the dare a bit further though and so.
"Do you want to take this somewhere, perhaps a little more private?"
Crosshair glanced around seeing the clones having cheered them looking way too eager and too drunk to continue their little show and tell right there.
"Let's go!"
Crosshair was up in flash. His hand in Boil's dragging the other clone behind him leading Boil away from the crowds to the somewhere more private where they could continue on their, dare. Taking things as far as they wanted without their spectators.
After all, there was only so much of a spectacle Crosshair was prepared to make of himself in public. Especially when less drunk! Not that it had not happened though. Crosshair being no prude. Alas this night was not one of those nights. No. Crosshair certainly wanted to enjoy Boil all by himself without others interfering. At least for this night.
Hair Care
'When you've gone completely bald, there is really no care of them hairs! Right?' Crosshair, Kix and Dogma were at the groomers. The barber if you will. The three of them having their hairs trimmed. Or at least that was the plan. It was basically the clones helping out other clones doing the hair cutting. As a few of the vod'e had very special talents for creating fantastic shapes. For those wanting them of course. The hair that is, on the head and guess elsewhere too. Wherever imaginable? Kix having decided he wanted something different for the now outgrown style. Some intricate pattern maybe? Dogma and Crosshair were less impressed of the idea of getting some special shape carved on top of their heads. But they had decided to tag along Kix just the same and perhaps have a trim for themselves. The three of them, Crosshair, Dogma and Kix had become fast friends during a particularly difficult mission having kind of saved each others lives during it. And so now, they were pretty tight much to the surprise of Crosshair's batch mates even. Friendly for sure, spending a lot of down time together. A lot of it. Leaving a few people around to wonder what was really going on between them. And then there was Boil of course. Crosshair and him kinda having a thing now.
That having started some time ago at a party where a game of poker played had ended with the two of them kissing after a dare. And then eventually hooking up. Officially they were simply friends. Good ones at that. With lots and lots of benefits.
So, sex, right? Yes. Sex. Was there ever any doubt? Dogma and Kix were kind of hooking up as well. The duo having worked together for a longest while. Guess being friends and then having the other available there during those long hauls in space having led from one thing to another and a third? Yeah, they were doing it. Having sex and all. Because why not? They were close and friends and all. Sharing was caring after all!
Kix and Crosshair had started off on the wrong foot during the rescue mission of the Arc Trooper Echo. The cyborg Echo had become having eventually joined the Bad Batch. And well, the Batchers liked to share everything. And Echo indeed was in great hands now. Literally.
But after their second mission together Kix and Crosshair together with Dogma had found themselves in a bit of a pickle and guess that had laid whatever bad blood between them had existed to be buried and left on said battlefield. They were thick as thieves now. Sometimes Hunter complaining Crosshair was totally neglecting his Batch for the sake of these, so called Regs. Which Crosshair totally was. Neglecting. Sometimes. But this was all new and nice and he enjoyed Kix's and Dogma's company so Hunter could go and suck on that. Which he probably would be doing too! Sucking the others that is. While Crosshair was sucking, getting sucked(?) his elsewhere.
Anyway! There was definitely the more going on between Kix and Crosshair and Kix and Dogma with Crosshair. Much much more than simply being tight. Thick as thieves? (The words tight and thick simply keep popping up a lot here for some reason? Perhaps I read it somewhere? Learnt the new words and so using them? No puns whatsoever? Right!) Anywho. They were having sex. Together. The three of them. Sometimes four of them whenever Boil was in the mood. That being when he wasn't having his other thing with Waxer. Because the two of them had a thing too. Lotsa things going on apparently?
Hadn't Crosshair complained at some point about the fact that the Regs were kind of mixed in complicated relationships with each other anyway? Well, if he had he certainly wasn't complaining now. As apparently having all these complex relations with several vod'e led to the one good thing. The best part of any ship. Sex. As in never going without. A win win for sure!
Alas this bard digressed. Once again!
So, the planning for styling their hairdos and whatever else weirdness there was to follow especially with Kix at the helm. Throwing all kinds of wild ideas into the mix. The patterns, colours and whatnots the three of them should do, you know, because they were friends. The three of them. A tight knit group. So it was only natural to extend the sameness to their haircuts, right?
"How about a mohawk?" Dogma had longer hair on the top now so he could sport it easily. Maybe? "Good eh?"
Crosshair had his eyes squinted to the max. The suggestion not sitting well with the sniper. The sarcasm practically oozing from the man.
"And I guess you want us to get matching face tattoos as well while we're at it." Crosshair still had room on his face for one or more for sure! Dogma simply glared back at him having learnt how to handle the sniper's snide remarks by now taking none of them too personally.
"Yeah, we totes should!" Kix was fully on board as if it really had been a suggestion! "
After all, Crosshair had suggested it and there was plenty of room there for a few more paintings on all their faces!
"I am not getting a matching tattoo with you lot!" Crosshair snarled in disbelief the other two had taken his comment seriously. He was totally becoming bored of the hading the conversation was going to. They were there to get their hairs trimmed. Nothing more, nothing less!
"Why not. Don't you love us?" Dogma pretended to pout really riling up his companion.
"Yeah Crossy. Don't you wanna be part of us any more?" Kix joined in the mock pouting chorus. "Our Throuple or Fourple or whatever Poly-giga-ma-thingy is going on at any given moment?"
As there totally was, several combos happening at any given time. Even a few batchers joining in (Echo and Tech). This of course was making Hunter all jealous and whatnot even if he could have easily dipped into the deep end if he wanted to. He was most welcome. Wrecker having told him as much. Having told the others upon asking he would test the waters at some point when feeling more… bold perhaps to plunge in! Crosshair was sure it would be soon though. The tales he had shared with Wrecker surely making a few eyebrows to rise among other parts.
Crosshair sighed heavily palming his face. Shaking it too.
"Fine fine! We'll get those karking tattoos!"
"Yey!" The chorus of two responded cheerfully.
"But first things first! The hair." Crosshair glanced at himself in the mirror. "I was thinking going bald."
"Oh?" Kix had been there before, his tattoos covered by a plethora of the growing stuff on top of his head.
"Yeah! Seems easier somehow. And if we are going for the matching tattoos… well, I would prefer to be able to hide it when I get fed up with the two of you!" Crosshair had a coy smirk on his face. As it was now, Crosshair was having the time of his life with these two wild boys and the third in Boil so he wasn't about to change that any time soon.
"Sounds… offensive? But yeah, somehow good too?" Dogma stared at his own face in the mirror and he could totally see himself going all skin on the top.
Kix glared from one to the other before making his decision.
"I am in!" Letting out a loud laugh and then turning to the vod doing the trimming for them. "Scissors! Three orders of the bald variety in here, please!"
Alternate Universe (or breaking the Fourth Wall? The Simulation?)
'Sometimes two is good. Other times, the more is the merrier.' Thire, was not in a good mood. At all.
His interim team, his squad consisting of Boil, Crosshair, Dogma, Kix and himself of course. But the four other clones were staring to gnaw at him.
Why?
Well, first of the bat was the ruckus the four kept going during their ride in hyperspace. As in all honesty it was a long haul and they were all getting bored as there really was little if nothing to do on the small size vessel. Well, there was one thing. But, the craft was rather small and also, Thire wasn't exactly part of the team now was he. Not in the biblical sense at least :P
The other four had started playing paddy cakes on the top of their bald heads of all places. Boil having joined the club as well. Becoming bald for now. Just to belong. As of course he had.
The most obscene noises being elicited from the slapping of skin on skin! Reminding Thire of him having gone through a lo-ooo-ng dry spell. Even if the scene itself was supposed to be rather innocent one for sure. Some stupid kids play! Yeah, Thire really was getting more and more irked each passing moment.
But, why was Thire feeling so well not included in the team? They were a squad after all. For the time being at least. Alas, these four were hardly the types Thire usually hung out with let alone doing anything else with. Maybe? Well, being in a tight spot? (See what I did there again!) The four clones playing their games, being all tactile with each other… Yes, the message quite clear.! They were totally involved!
Perhaps Thire could try to dip his toe into the waters and see how it felt? One could at least fantasise if nothing was to come out of it? Thire was entertaining the prospect for a spell inside of his brain though for a while. Eventually shaking his head after the contemplation passed. No, this wasn't for him. But, they were so totally shoving their foursome antics in his face! So handsy with each other… all the time the touching and… Too much and way too often! Thire cursed inwardly! As at this point Thire would not have minded something been thrown in his face. Preferably not food or a dirty sock… underwear? Maybe? No, definitely something more… juicy. Thire could taste the salty liquid in his mouth… a drop of drool running down his chin. Only to realise it and quickly wiping if off as he composed himself.
Thire sighed heavily again. The not having sex really getting to him at the very moment.
Just as he was about to bark at the foursome slapping the others gingerly and giggling like cadets, the alarm on the nav sat went off.
"Collision alert?" Thire exclaimed out loud having manned the helm while the others had been playing their little games at the aft of the ship.
"What's going on?" Crosshair was the first one to emerge beside their pilot. "Looks like the scanners picked up something out there." Thire was staring at the instrument readings alas there was nothing to see there. Not yet anyway.
"But we're in hyperspace."
"You're telling me!" Thire snorted checking the instrument readings again before looking out in space again. "Looks like… some kind of a… vortex?"
The rest of them having joined in the cockpit staring out from the viewport. The visual in front of them becoming quite clear. There was certainly something there and it looked like it was going to suck the squad and their boat inside of it soon enough.
"Can we back up?" Kix quipped. "Steer clear?"
Thire tried to use the reverse gear but nothing was working suddenly.
"The instruments are unresponsive."
They all watched the ship being sucked into the vortex slowly but surely them with it. Not really knowing where they would end up in.
"Out of control and blind as a bat." Crosshair simply stated. Whether it was apt of not? Well, does it really matter? *
They ship had shimmied, shaken and twirled like some oversized ballerina on Ritalin. Finally halting as it had landed on its own accord onto a plane area on the other side of the vortex.
"We still have no instrument readings. It's like nothing works on this karking boat!" Thire sounded somewhat frustrated.
"Should we go and take a look? On the outside?" Boil suggested innocently as how else where they gonna find out where they were. "Sniff the air and whatnot?"
They five of them having tried to see through the viewport. But there was nothing but white out there. Which in itself was most odd.
(Then again, this whole tale of a thing is starting to sound that too. Odd being key!)
Thire turned to look at the four pairs of eyes glued to his at the moment.
Sighing heavily Thire wasn't too keen on some half cocked adventure. But what were his options? To remain inside of the ship and wait? For what exactly was unknown. And so. "Fine!"
The four other members of the squad were rather eager to get out of the cramped craft and into the open wide to figure out where they had landed. And so, Thire followed the lot out. As what else could he or they do? Waiting wasn't the option after all.
The hissing of the ramp filling the other wise soundless space, the clones debarking one by one with their armour engaged and their weapons ready.
It was mostly white around them as they had observed through the viewport. Oddly so. As even the ground, the sky or whatever place it was had nothing in it except the five of them and their ship. Nothing there to look at which was again… really, really odd. Yeah! A lot of that seemed to happening at the moment. The odd. "We should split up and check the surroundings…" Thire started seeing as he wanted to cover as much ground as possible… well, as far as they could see and get to. And then get the hell outta dodge sooner rather than later. The crappy grouchiness taking over the Clone Commander once again.
"I think we better stay put." Boil had his eyes on something as he motioned towards the approaching long bearded white clad being headed their way.
"What the…?"
"Welcome!" The booming voice sounding somewhat mechanic in nature as the being got closer to the five clones.
"Who. Are you?" Thire took the lead position once again, stepping protectively in front of the other four. He was their leader after all.
"I am… from the other side." The booming words spilling from the bearded being's mouth. They looked almost human but with a twist.
"The other side?" It was Kix asking now getting a glare from Thire in the process. The medic quickly raising his hands in surrender. As clearly the rather tight shebsed Commander wanted to do the talking.
"Yes, the side of, well, shall we simply call it reality for the sake of clarity." The voice had been tuned down now, sounding more human.
"Reality?" It was Dogma piping in getting yet another sigh from Thire.
The four of them making faces to each other behind Thire's back. All of them having noticed the Commander having a really large size stick stuck up his ass clearly. The uptight demeanour not gone unnoticed by his new team. "Well… you may not be aware of what expired… But, it looks like you five did the impossible."
"In what way?" Thire pressed on not really trusting this, person or whomever and whatever they were telling them.
"You lot broke the Fourth Wall so to speak. Breaking out of the Simulation. It was not supposed to happen." The bearded one told them then.
The five of them made faces, exchanging glances totally clueless as to what this white being of a thing was on about. Mouthing the words Forth Wall and Simulation in total confusion.
Turning back to the man Thire had his blaster drawn. Getting kind of sick and tired of dealing with this cryptic and very, very off person.
"Look, you tell us flat on where we are and what you want from us."
The entity raised their hands in surrender.
"Oh no offence has been meant by any of my actions. But I have to return you where you belong. Your Simulation." They stated then. "It will take some time so, I would like to invite you to a very special place for the wait. And simply, relax." The bearded person looked Thire up and down, clearly seeing the man was wound tighter than a helical metal coil ready to spring out of his skin at any moment.
Just then, they could all see part of the whiteness of the place starting to morph into something different. Something which looked like a scene from a really clichéd holo vid. Something more emerging there soon enough. A beach resort, some soft music playing in the background and was that… laughter?
"Feel free to interact with the other characters of this program." The bearded being told them then while motioning for the five clones to step into the scene. "But I suspect you'll have your hands full with each other… so, please, do enjoy!"
Just as the five of them looked at the scene in front of them the bearded person had disappeared, as had their ship too. Their gear was gone and they were all dressed in beachwear. The skimpiest shorts on the lot of them. Leaving nothing to the imagination. Not a bad thing though.
Crosshair, Boil, Dogma and Kix did not seem to mind the change in scenery at all. Rather jumping right into action. Moving along the music and accepting the offered drinks as served by the locals in the scene. Thire glanced down at his person. Being as skimpily clad as the rest of them… and then feeling the soft sand between his toes. It felt, good, nice even. Warm and soft and…
"Oh well, when in Coruscant…"
Thire joined the other four the chatting already started up again as they all enjoyed their newly found setting.
* They had all enjoyed themselves immensely. Even Thire! The soft core party. Something provided by the white bearded entity having promised to return them back to the… Simulation? Whatever! As long as they were going to be returned none of them worried. Putting all their trust in the alien entity or whatever the thing was. As they were having way too much fun right now to worry about any of it.
"Alright, everyone! Time for a naked dip in the water!" Kix was already shedding his trunks the rest of them following suit. Except for Thire. Always and forever the party pooper it seemed? But getting a pair of rather wet skivvies thrown in his face made Thire snap out of his looming funk rather quickly. The mood swings still happening even if he had enjoyed himself with the other four and some of the locals mostly having hung in the background like statists in a play?
"Who threw those?"
"I did." Crosshair snorted. "Now, unstick that wrong type of rod up your shebs and come join the fun with us!." After all, there was no time nor place, literally, to play the part of a prude. Not that Thire was, a prude. Just, a tad stuck-up at the moment.
Thire glanced at the naked frolicking foursome in the water. Splashing each other with the cool water. Soon enough getting more and more frisky too. The ambience of the setting having changed, the other people having disappeared, leaving only the five of them there. The music even having turned to a gentle slow beat with the two suns staring to set.
A gorgeous view for sure. Thire wasn't talking about the sunset either. His eyes on the four touching, kissing, licking, biting (ouch!) vod'e.
Pushing his briefs down, letting it all hang out, or perhaps not? Letting himself lose and then following the rest into the water. Thire was starting to like this, setting and his new squad. Quite a lot.
Because, when in Coruscant… especially when at 79's, everything, was allowed. Especially fun and grabbing a hold of the nearest vod. Or few. Or four?
Yeah, Thire was staring to feel that bad kind of a stick lessen in his shebs for sure, soon to be replaced by a more pleasant kind of a… rod? Go figure!