Random

by adriannemonty

Random

4. 4

Jealousy, a nasty bug

Addison Forbes Montgomery. A Surgeon-Wonder. An exceptional doctor that any patient would be lucky to have. And yet a woman with the most horrible taste in men according to Meredith Grey; not that she had any right to talk.

From Derek to Mark to Alex; they were all sorts of unfitting for someone like Addison. Again, according to Meredith.

Of course, Meredith couldn't argue with their attractive trait. They were handsome, brilliant doctors that could make you swoon with one simple smile. But at the same time they were the most immature people that had walked the floors of Seattle Grace Hospital. She racked her brain to find the reason Dr. Montgomery even attempted any sort of relationship with them in the first place, but she came up short each time.

Okay, okay.

Meredith was the tiniest bit biased when it came to Addison Montgomery. It had absolutely nothing to do with the fact that she used to be married to her ex-boyfriend. She didn't care about Derek. Not anymore, anyway. The sex had been great. She wasn't one to complain. They were just incompatible in every other sense of the way.

And Meredith was crushing on his ex-wife.

Meredith broke the trance of daydreaming. The environment around her came to focus. Nurses, doctors, patients and visitors roamed the halls of the OB ward.

And there she was, standing next to the nurses' station...

The star in all her daydreams...

Meredith fought hard to prevent her eye roll at the scene unfolding in front of her eyes. She caught Addison staring lustfully after Karev for what seemed like the tenth time that day. Only this time he had noticed too and had flashed the redhead a smug, and what could be described as flirty, smile. Meredith barely contained the scoff that spilled from her throat.

Ridiculous.

The urge to carve out the arrogance from his eyes with her scalpel took her by surprise. Her urges had never been so violent before. No matter how hard she tried she failed to figure out the reason. Or, to be honest, she was completely denying the reason, which was her gigantic crush on the world-class surgeon and the jealousy that was eating at her insides bit by bit.

She could only speculate that Addison's lust was caused by her deal she had made with Sloan... Their secret deal, which, of course, by the end of the day it was struck, it was not a secret anymore. The rumor mill was running wild in the hospital halls for days and that was exactly how Meredith had found out about it.

If what Meredith had heard was true, it had already been a month since they had struck that deal, so technically Meredith blamed the lustful look on Addison's sexual abstinence.

Why do I even care? I don't care.

It shouldn't bother her, it shouldn't even appear as a thought in her mind. She was done overthinking about Addison. She was!

If only her brain got the message, her stomach would stop tightening uncomfortably every time she stumbled upon Addison smiling or looking lustfully at Sloan or Karev...

Jealousy was a nasty little bug. It was rearing its ugly head ever since Addison came to Seattle and took Derek from her. Only then, she thought it was because she wanted to be the one by Derek's side.

But now she knew she had been so misled by her own feelings. It had never been about Derek but it had always been about Addison. It certainly made much more sense after her attempt on a relationship with him. She finally figured it out, when she noticed that she was more excited to spend time with Addison than Derek.

It had always been the kindhearted surgeon. The brilliant doctor. The gorgeous woman who was dating men.

Good job, Meredith. Going after straight women. You go, girl.

"You are glaring." Meredith jumped at Cristina's whisper coming from somewhere behind her shoulder. She didn't even notice when she approached her.

"I am not." She exclaimed a bit too loudly, attracting a few glances her way. Unbeknownst to the two interns one of those glances was Montgomery's.

"You so are. What did Satan do now?" Cristina pushed.

At the mention of Montgomery's nickname, Meredith glanced towards the woman. She caught her watching her over her glasses. Meredith quickly looked back at her charts with a mumbled "Nothing." and a blush spreading across her face.

"Oh my God, you've got to get that crush under control." Cristina smirked. "Or you know, jump her bones and get it out of your system." She nudged her with her elbow, amusement written all over her features.

"Shut up. She may hear you." Meredith hissed. "Besides, she is straight. She isn't attracted to me. The only reason she knows I exist is because I slept with her husband. She has to see and teach the woman that stole her husband every day. The last thing she wants to do is jump my bones." The disappointed woman explained as she scribbled something on a chart. "I am working under her for the entire week."

"And you'd rather work on top of her, I know." Cristina teased her friend with a coy smile.

Meredith gasped and shoved the other doctor away. "Cristina!" She failed to stop the amused smile at her friend's dirty humor.

"Grey." A sultry voice called, making Meredith's shoulders tense. "Didn't I ask you to fetch my patient's lab tests ten minutes ago?" The redhead said.

Meredith lowered her head. "Y-yes, Doctor. R-right away." She didn't mean to stutter. She felt so humiliated by her own inability to speak. She didn't even notice the blush coloring her pale cheeks. Addison noticed. And so did Cristina.

Cristina grabbed her by the arm as she made to leave. "Your true colors are showing." "Shut up. You know nothing." Meredith called out as she broke free from her friend's grip.

"I know everything and you know that." The smugness on Cristina's face got on Meredith's nerves sometimes. The same sultry voice that made her weak at the knees interrupted their bickering.

"Dr. Yang, stop hogging my intern." Meredith tensed but Cristina smirked at her friend knowingly.

"I am sorry, Dr. Montgomery." Cristina, who turned her attention to the OB/Gyn, couldn't help but smile knowingly. Green eyes were following Meredith's silhouette until she disappeared around the corner. There was definitely something there and as Meredith's person she wouldn't rest until she got to the bottom of it.

"Meredith is delusional if she thinks that this woman is straight." Cristina muttered as she scribbled something on her patient's chart.

"Did you say something, Dr. Yang?" The suspicion in the surgeon's eyes amused Cristina, who kept her poker face intact and shook her head.

As soon as the neonatal surgeon turned away, the young intern smirked. It was gonna be an interesting year.

Holding the lab tests against her chest, Meredith arrived at the OB ward and searched around for Addison to give her the results of her patient. Meredith had read them as soon as she got them and they weren't as good as they were hoping. Meredith had to inform her attending so that they could schedule the surgery. To do that, she had to find the woman first.

When her search was proving unsuccessful, she considered asking a nurse to page her. She was on her way to the nurses' station when a door to a supply closet flew open and out stumbled Dr. Montgomery in all her disheveled glory. Meredith's eyebrows furrowed in confusion as Addison pulled on the hem of her skirt to straighten invisible lines. Her attending ran her fingers through her hair in an attempt to brush the tangles out. It didn't take a scientist to guess what happened in that room.

Watching how she started heading towards her direction, Meredith started walking towards her again, pushing back the ache in her chest. She halted when another person stumbled out of the

room and glanced back at her attending. Addison seemed to be rethinking her decision on which direction to go and turned abruptly towards the other side bumping into the person that had stumbled after her. Alex Karev.

Her confusion was quickly replaced by the deepest frown she could muster and then her eyes connected with Sloan's, who apparently had been another witness to the same unfortunate event. She quickly looked away and hoped that he hadn't seen her grief-stricken expression or her tightly clenched fists. She tried to convince herself that there was not a reason for distress. No matter how many times she chanted it inside her head, it didn't make her feel any better. How could it when it felt similar to someone reaching in and tearing her heart out?

Meredith raised her chin and gritted her teeth. It wasn't going to affect her. She wasn't going to let it.

With a shake of her head, she pushed everything to the back of her head and went after Dr. Montgomery. She had work to do. There would be time to overthink later.

She approached her but soon realized that she couldn't even look her in the eye. "Dr. Montgomery, I have the tests." She cleared her throat to get her attention and extended her hand, waiting for her boss to take the results from her.

Addison thanked her hesitantly when she noticed the way Meredith was avoiding to look at her. If Meredith looked at her in that moment, she would have seen the worry and the confusion in the woman's eyes before she averted her eyes to look at the results.

"Dr. Grey, I need you to schedule an emergency surgery, prepare Lizzy and scrub in." She ordered in a serious tone.

"Are you sure you don't want Karev to scrub in?" It slipped. It fucking slipped. Meredith felt all blood drain from her face. She had regretted it the moment it came out of her mouth if her reaction was anything to go by; eyes tightly closed, nose scrunched and mouth pursed in regret.

Oh my God!

Addison froze at her words, fists tightened their grip on the papers in her hands. "Dr. Grey-"

Meredith rushed to stop her and apologize. "No. I am sorry that was completely out of line. What you are doing with him is none of my business." She shook her head embarrassed but forced herself

to look at Addison in a rare burst of bravery. "I am really sorry. Forget I said anything please." The fear and the small amount of hurt in Addison's green eyes, made Meredith feel ten times worse. "I'll go schedule the surgery on the board and I'll meet you there?" Meredith asked in a hopeful tone, trying to avoid a reprimand.

The initial shock of getting caught by Meredith Grey was what prevented a huge outburst from Addison. In a different circumstance, Meredith's insolence would have made the otherwise composed woman furious. She even considered giving the surgery to another intern. The emergency of the surgery and the knowledge of the patient's condition was the reason that prevented her from replacing Meredith. The need to save that baby was more important than Meredith's whims and childish behavior.

"Dr. Montgomery?" Meredith questioned hesitantly. She was almost certain that Addison was going to murder her.

Addison, who was glaring at a spot on the wall behind Meredith's head, turned to glare at her, causing an involuntary flinch in the younger woman. "We'll talk about this later, Dr. Grey. Don't think even for a second that this is over." The infuriated woman growled and pushed the results against Meredith's chest. "When surgery is over, we'll discuss your behavior."

Meredith nodded and turned to make a hasty exit before she was stopped by a tight grip on her elbow. Anxious green eyes connecting with a set of livid green ones, making Meredith's breath caught in her throat at the proximity between them.

Damn, she is breathtaking even when she is livid. Meredith wanted to groan at her ridiculous thoughts.

"Don't make me look for you, Grey." She warned her with a low growl.

Only thing Meredith could do was nod. Addison, seemingly satisfied, released the grip on the younger woman and watched her hasty disappearance.

Chapter Notes

Two Tequila's and One Apology

Thank youuuu for all the lovely attention you are giving to this fic. You, guys, are the best. 3

PS. The story will be around 6-7 parts. :)

Any mistakes are obviously mine and I am really sorry about that! Enjoy! :P

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Meredith dreaded Addison's wrath for the rest of the day. She squirmed uncomfortably with every breath the doctor took throughout their surgery. To her surprise, Addison kept it completely professional, something Meredith should have done in the first place. She knew better than to create friction between her and her boss.

It would be hypocritical of her to say that it bothered her because Karev was an intern and Addison his boss. She had been the pioneer of that particular "movement".

She needed to find a believable excuse for her behavior. Something other than "I was jealous of Karev. I wanted to be the one to jump your bones inside the supply room". Addison would come after her and demand to know her reasoning. Meredith couldn't actually confess her feelings, could she?

Well she could but she was a coward so she wouldn't.

She needed Cristina's advice desperately. But how could she tell her what was going on when she couldn't tell her about Addison's and Karev's "relationship". She'd prefer it if she wasn't the one who started that particular rumor, no matter how truthful it was. She wasn't going to add fuel to the fire; not willingly at least.

So there was only one thing she could do and that was to stew while she was waiting for Addison to approach her.

An entire day passed but Addison never made a move to find her or talk to her. In fact she hadn't even bumped into her. Frankly it was driving Meredith insane with each uneventful minute that ticked by. The anticipation alone was going to kill her.

Her shift had ended an hour ago but she remained in the hospital out of fear of Addison not finding her if she looked for her. Honestly, she pretended to be brave and all but when it came to Addison or Miranda, she was absolutely terrified.

God, I need a drink. Or two.

Returning home to sleep would be fruitless. She found herself unable to calm her nerves. If she wanted back her peace of mind for the night, she would either have to come face to face with Addison and face her wrath or visit Joe's and enjoy some of her beloved tequila.

Better make that three drinks then.

As the minutes ticked by she became aware that talking with Addison wasn't going to happen, that night at least. So Meredith decided to seek the next best thing. Joe's company and his tasty tequila shots.

Meredith changed into her normal everyday clothes and made her way towards Joe's bar, trying to leave her troubles back at the hospital and praying that she wouldn't bump into any familiar faces. Not that praying had helped her before.

She pushed the door open with the remaining strength she possessed after her 36 hour shift and almost collapsed against the bar, completely avoiding looking around. Last thing she needed right now was people hitting on her or wanting to make small talk.

"You alright there, Mer?" Joe asked as soon as he laid eyes on her.

"As well as can be expected after a 36 hour shift, Joe." She shrugged with a sigh. "Hit me with some tequila, I am begging you." She groaned and buried her face in her arms which were currently resting on the bar in front of her.

"Difficult case or just tired?" He asked after he placed two tequila shots in front of her.

Meredith raised her head in confusion. "Worried mostly and a little tired. I think I fucked up today."

"Wanna talk about it?"

"If I spend any more time thinking about it, I'll pull my hair out. So I'd rather not. No offense." Meredith groaned. She lifted her head and wrapped her fingers around her glass.

"None taken. Did anything else happen at the hospital?" He wondered out loud.

Meredith frowned. "Nothing worth mentioning. Why?" She eyed him suspiciously while she was

nursing her drink. Did he know something?

Joe shrugged, resting his elbows on the bar to lean closer to her. "Half the people from Seattle Grace stopped by to drown their sorrows in my booze tonight. And most of them had the same expression you do."

"What's wrong with my expression?"

"You look like someone whose cat was run over by a bus or something." He raised two hands apologetically. "No offense."

"I believe that." Meredith chuckled.

"I am not joking about your colleagues. Some of them are still here. Look." Joe suggested, nodding towards several directions.

Meredith looked towards each curiously and she was surprised to see she wasn't the one drowning her problems in alcohol and blocking out everything else.

Mark Sloan was hiding in one corner glaring at his whiskey. For once he seemed not in the mood to check out every woman that passed by him. He was in Torres' company but they didn't seem to interact with each other. In fact, Torres was also glaring at her martini as if it had killed her parents.

Meredith's gaze switched to Karev and O'Malley who were currently drinking beers and playing

darts quite aggressively. From the looks of it, they weren't talking to each other either. It was surprising that they were hanging out together in the first place.

Meredith's green eyes came across the one person she was scared to even look at at the moment. Addison Forbes Montgomery sat lost in thought, staring at her untouched wine. There was a touch of sadness lingering in her gaze; it played aggressively with Meredith's heartstrings.

Stop being such a coward, Meredith! Go apologize again!

Her brain nudged her to go. Her heart nudged her to approach the distant woman, in hopes that she could make her smile. She had a gorgeous smile. Her entire body nudged her to go but, boy, was she a damn chicken.

"Joe, pour me two tequilas, please. There's something I need to do." She tossed back both of her shots. Liquid courage and all that shit. Her palms were sweating profusely but it was something she had to do. Even if it terrified her.

Joe glanced at her curiously but obeyed her request. Moments later, two glasses were placed in front of her. With a deep sigh, Meredith squared her shoulders, grabbed the drinks and approached Addison's table nervously but determinedly.

Placing a drink in front of Addison seemed to break the other woman's trance. Her eyes blinked and traced a pattern up the arm that offered her the drink. As soon as green met blue-green, the attending scowled and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Grey... What do you want?" She snapped at her.

Meredith shrugged. "To give you a peace offering."

"For?"

"For my stupid mouth and my inability to control it."

That made Addison smirk for a second. Meredith squirmed.

"May I join you?" Addison sat up a little at Meredith's request. For a few seconds she seemed to contemplate it. Maybe she did it on purpose to see Meredith squirm, which she did after a while. When Addison decided that she was satisfied enough by Meredith's torture, she waved at the opposite chair.

Meredith breathed a sigh of relief, accepting the "invitation", and joined the other woman. At first neither woman spoke. Minutes ticked by. Addison had enough.

"You don't need to stay here, Meredith. You apologized, you bought me a drink. It's fine." She pointed out, lifting her wine to her lips.

"No. It is not." Meredith fidgeted against her seat. "I didn't tell anyone by the way. About you and Alex. Not that it's anyone's business besides your own and everything but you know how gossip is at the hospital. Anyway my point is that I probably sounded mean and judgemental and all but that's not how I felt."

Addison leaned forward abruptly and grabbed Meredith's wrist to stop her incessant gesturing. "Meredith, breathe."

"Right." The blonde breathed a sigh of relief thankful that Addison stopped her word vomit. "I am sorry."

Meredith was a bit disappointed when Addison leaned back in her chair and removed her hands. She tossed back her third tequila for the night and didn't even notice how Addison's eyes widened at the action. "The thing is that you need to know that I wasn't intentionally trying to be mean or judgemental even if it sounded like that. I was just... jealous."

Did she actually say it? After spending an entire day worrying about how to lie, she had actually revealed the actual reason she had been an asshole to her.

Damn these tequilas.

She raised her voice just the tiniest bit at her confession and closed her eyes tightly, waiting for

something. An angry outburst, a loud laughter. Anything. The quiet simmering exasperation was not something she expected to come bursting from her companion.

"You have feelings for Karev. Of course. Of course, we'd both be attracted to the same guy. Why am I even surprised?" Meredith's eyes flew open at that.

She was not attracted to Karev.

Honestly. Ewww.

That was the most absurd thing she had ever heard.

If she wanted to have a chance of explaining the misunderstanding, she had to stop Addison's rant, who at the moment seemed to be on a roll. "That's why he brushed me off earlier saying that I wasn't his girlfriend and everything, isn't it? You are dating Karev? Are you the one who slept with Mark as well? I can see how he couldn't last two months without sex with you in his bed but damn you are working fast."

Okay, okay. She couldn't exactly blame her for all the accusations but damn did it hurt... "No. No! Dr. Montgomery, I get why you would accuse me of all that. I have quite the reputation especially when it comes to you. Once bitten, twice shy, right?" Addison seemed to be eyeing her with surprise and just the slightest hint of contempt.

"They don't call me a dirty mistress and an adulterous whore, for nothing right?" The name calling didn't sit well with Addison. It was written all over her face when Meredith spit the words. The young intern stood up abruptly. Addison's eyes filled with regret as they followed her movements.

Meredith's eyes shone with unshed tears. She gritted her teeth tightly to keep it them from escaping. Last thing she wanted to do was let Addison see what big impact her words had on her.

It was one thing to be called all that by her friends, who joked and didn't mean it, or by people who didn't know her. But to hear this kind of accusation coming from Addison; she couldn't pretend it didn't hurt.

"Meredith, I-"

"No, no. It's fine. I get it." She brushed her aside, shaking her head. "Sloan and Karev aren't the ones I am attracted to, alright? I don't have feelings for any of them. They are not the ones my heart yearns for. Just so that we are clear." She sounded frustrated now and frankly she was. For all the intelligence the woman in front of her possessed she could be quite clueless at times.

"I know it's Derek. Right, I forgot about that." Addison pipped in. Meredith felt a sudden need to scream.

"Oh my God!" Meredith shoved her fingers through her hair, barely keeping herself from pulling them off her scalp. "You know what? Forget everything I said. I was out of line. I apologize and I promise, it won't happen again."

Meredith took a few steps away from the table, ready to flee, then seemed to regret it. She turned around sharply, leaned over the table and dropped her voice a few octaves.

"By the way, Sloan saw you and Karev leaving the supply closet. Just so you know." Meredith, barely containing her tears of frustration, asked Joe to put everything on her tab and fled the bar before Addison had a chance to stop her. She was probably too busy thinking about Sloan or whatever.

Addison groaned and buried her face in her hands, realizing she had also crossed a line. Apparently she was the one who needed to apologize this time but she was leaving for LA the next morning. Her apology to Meredith had to wait for the time being. She had to have a chat with Naomi or Callie first.

Chapter End Notes

Is it decent so far?

Don't worry. Addison didn't left for good. The job proposal hasn't happened yet. Next up: Addison returns from LA with news. And some other things happen but I won't say anymore.

Chapter Notes

Consoling a friend?

Oh my God! You are still here? You are really enjoying this story?

Wow thank you so much for sticking around 3 Like I said you are the best!

I would like to remind you once again that any mistakes are my own. xD English is not my first language but even if I wrote this in my language I would still mess up because I am not even half a writer. xD

Anyway, here's part 3 3

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Word in the halls was that Addison had returned from L.A. after a really stressful surgery where she managed to save mother and baby at the same time. Talk about not being able to catch a break during your day off.

Meredith hadn't caught a glimpse of her yet so she kept her eyes open, constantly searching for a flash of red through the crowd. She had actually missed the OB/Gyn and after their second falling out she assumed that the surgeon wouldn't want anything to do with her.

When she heard that Addison had taken a leave of absence, she felt guilty. The panic had settled at the pit of her stomach and the blame weighed down on her shoulders, thinking that her behavior had driven the woman away. She hated herself for constantly hurting the unusually gentle woman. Addison didn't deserve the crap people were putting her through. And she certainly didn't deserve the crap Meredith had put her through when she went with Derek behind her back.

She wasn't expecting an apology for the words Addison had spoken that night. It was justified with Meredith not having the best track record as it was.

But she also didn't expect the woman to change States so out of the blue. When she caught wind of her return, she was working at the pit while the rest of the interns had paired off with the attendings. She was a bit disappointed that she didn't get to work with her after spending days without her in the hospital. The urge to see her and talk to her was too great to ignore. She didn't enjoy having this stupid misunderstanding between them. It might have something to do with the feelings towards her but she enjoyed working with her.

Meredith had been wondering what had happened between Karev and Addison but she couldn't exactly ask. Recalling the night at the bar, she could picture the sadness in Addison's eyes very

clearly. If Karev turned down a woman like her, he is a bigger idiot than I thought he was. The thought of asking Izzie or doing some spying and fishing for information made her cringe.

It sounded stalkerish and desperate and Meredith may be a lot of things but stalker was not one of them. Her only concern had been to know if Addison was okay.

Talking to Cristina wasn't exactly an option either. Cristina had made her opinion very clear on that matter after Meredith had chattered her ears away during Addison's absence. Her friend believed that Meredith should have a serious talk with Addison about her feelings. According to her, there was nothing that could go wrong if she did. They were barely talking beyond a professional level as it was. But Meredith was too terrified to even consider it. The prospect of humiliation alone was enough to send her running for the hills.

Her hands were tied.

As she was passing by a closet, she heard a faint cry and soft whispers. Her curiosity made her pause and listen more carefully through the door, for a moment forgetting her dilemma. The crying sounded a tad familiar but before she had the chance to investigate further, the door flew open and Meredith jumped back startled.

Dr. Callie Torres eyed her suspiciously and shut the door behind her.

"Callie, are you okay?" Meredith asked concerned. With a quick glance at the resident's face, she confirmed that Callie wasn't the one that was crying in that room, so her eyes drifted towards the door.

"Yes. Of course, Dr. Grey." Callie glanced at Meredith and then at the door with a quick guilty look. Surprised at the professional tone on her voice and her suspicious reaction, Meredith cocked her head. "Alright, I am probably gonna regret this and I am risking her not speaking to me ever again, so tread carefully and choose wisely your next move, Grey." Callie warned her and leaned closer to her. With a whisper, she tried to explain as best as she could during the very limited time she had.

"In there, I have a very distraught, hurt but kind-hearted woman who doesn't deserve any of the bullshit that life has been handing to her." At Meredith's quick nod, Callie continued. "I don't want her to be alone right now but they paged me and I can't stay. Right now, I can't decide if it is a

good idea to send you in there. Don't ask why. I have my reasons." She explained hurriedly when Meredith opened her mouth to interrupt her.

"I haven't decided how good you could be for her but I am willing to take this chance because my gut tells me to trust you. Go in there and ensure that she has a friend on her side. Got it?"

Since Callie hadn't told her who was actually behind that door, Meredith was a bit hesitant to agree but at Callie's warning tone when she hissed her last name, Meredith nodded quickly and stepped closer to the door.

"Good. Thank you." Callie released a sigh of relief and left in a hurry.

She waited for Callie to disappear around the corner before knocking and poking her head inside, her body followed quickly.

When her eyes registered Addison's presence, her heart squirmed excitedly. By that squirm it was clear how willingly she had placed her heart between Addison's hands already. Sha hadn't even noticed how far gone she was. The moment the initial shock of seeing Addison after days had washed over, her heart clenched playfully at the sight of tearfilled eyes, full of sadness and despair.

Addison was sitting hunched and cross legged on the floor, hair falling messily on either side of her face and tear tracks marking her cheeks. The moment Addison realized that it was Meredith the one that walked in and not Callie, she swiftly looked away and attempted to clear away her tears as discreetly as she could.

Meredith didn't fight the urge to go to her. She joined her on the floor and sat down beside her, leaving the tiniest space between the two.

Seconds ticked by and neither woman spoke. The tension was thick between them. Addison was barely holding back her tears but she refused to cry in front of her ex-husband's mistress. Meredith, on the other hand, wanted to reach over and wrap her arms around the older woman, which would be overstepping quite a few fragile boundaries between them.

Silently -and quite bravely if I may add- Meredith reached out and placed a hand between Addison's, which were currently clutched together tightly on her lap. When Addison didn't make a move to leave or pull away, she separated her hands slowly and entwined their fingers together, pulling her hand on her own lap and cupping it between hers. She didn't speak, she didn't look at Addison, she simply sat there, offering her the quiet support she seemed to be in need of. When she

registered the sound of quiet hesitant sobs, she tightened her hold but didn't let go. Instead she waited for Addison to take the first step whenever she was ready. Until she decided to do that, Meredith sat there quietly listening to the heart wrenching sobs of the upset woman.

When the sobs quieted down, a sharp breath informed Meredith that Addison was ready to talk. "I've wasted so many years of my life." She muttered, staring at the ground. Meredith turned to look at her but didn't interrupt her. "I've wasted years with Derek, watching as we slowly drifted apart. He was Mr. Perfect until he wasn't." she paused. "He wasn't mean or anything. But one day, he suddenly lost interest in me. I saw it happening. All I wanted was to have his babies and be a real family but he never seemed to be interested in it." Another broken sob spilled from her lips. Meredith brushed her thumb against Addison's wrist hoping that she could at least provide some comfort to the woman she was in love with.

"And then Mark came along. He was so handsome and charming. But more importantly he was there. He noticed me when Derek didn't. When Derek found out, and I hate myself for saying that, I was a little relieved . That's why I didn't chase after him the moment he moved to Seattle. I tried to make it work with Mark instead. But, of course, Mark being Mark started sleeping around again." She shook her head and released a bitter laugh.

"God, I am not blaming them. I am no Saint. I am mostly blaming myself for making all the wrong choices." She shrugged. Meredith was surprised that she still hadn't pulled away from the intimate handholding. "I guess I am destined to be alone forever. Hell, I tried to make it work with Karev of all people." she groaned and leaned her head backwards, staring at the ceiling this time. Meredith took the opportunity to study her up close. It was probably her lovesick heart talking but even like this, with tears running down her cheeks and bloodshot eyes, she still found her breathtaking. "And now, I am complaining and I am telling the story of my life to my ex-husband's mistress, well girlfriend. You are not his mistress anymore."

Has she not heard a thing? Meredith wondered. "Well technically, I am not-" She tried to explain but she was cut off by the other woman again.

"Apparently God decided to punish me for hurting all these people. I can't explain my infertility in any other way. I am a double board-certified OB/Gyn, subspecializing in maternal-fetal medicine and fetal surgery and a neonatal surgeon who cannot have babies. How ironic is this?" Addison deadpanned and another set of fresh tears spilled from her green eyes.

She hated it. She hated seeing all that anguish and hurt on her face, in her soul, in her heart. If that was torture for Meredith, she could only imagine how Addison was feeling with the way her life had ended up.

Meredith had enough of Addison blaming herself for everything that's been happening to her.

Without letting go of her hand, she moved and kneeled in front of her.

"Okay listen to me, Montgomery. You are not a bad person. And you are not a perfect person." Addison rolled her eyes at that but she still didn't look at Meredith. "No, no. Look at me." When she refused to do that, probably because she was too embarrassed, Meredith repeated more sternly. "Look at me, Addison!"

Hearing her first name spilling from Meredith's lips in such a serious way, was quite the rare circumstance. It forced the distraught woman to look at her surprised and a little bit curious at what Meredith was about to say.

"You are not a bad person. And you are not perfect. Perfect doesn't exist. You are a passionate and strong woman, who kicks ass at her work. You are an extremely gifted surgeon and a great teacher. You are a magnificent person with a very kind heart, despite you not believing it. I've seen you fight for your patients as if your own life depends on it. I've seen you fight for your friends and the people you care about." She tugged at her hands, trying to emphasize what she was saying.

"You've inspired me to be the best surgeon and the most decent person I can be and I wouldn't change it for the world." Meredith grabbed each of her hands with her own and shook her a little bit.

"There are a few unfortunate events in your life, sure but you can't blame yourself for every bad thing that happened in your life. Sure you've made a few mistakes and made a few wrong choices. Who hasn't done that? Izzie cut an LVAD wire and stole a heart. Alex, who isn't as awful as people think he is, chooses to be a dick to everyone around him. Derek ignored the most amazing woman anyone could ask for. Sloan cheated on her. How dumb can you be, right?" Addison couldn't help but release a soft chuckle at this.

"I fell in love with my married attending. Can you believe that?" At Addison's scowl, it was obvious that her mind had jumped to conclusions again.

The young intern, who quickly caught up, shook her head. "I am not talking about Derek by the way. Just to clarify." She nodded in all seriousness and watched the scowl disappear from Addison's face. "And George married his resident, broke up with her because he cheated on her with his best friend and then ruined his relationship with his best friend." Meredith released one of her hands and placed her palm against a wet cheek, smiling softly at the woman.

"You fell in love with another attending again? Who?" Of course that would be the thing Addison would pick to ask about. But Meredith blamed that on plain curiosity, failing completely to notice

the jealous glint in Addison's eye.

"That's not important right now. What I mean is that God or whoever is up there, is not punishing you for anything. Everything will get fixed eventually. I know it will."

A petite thumb brushed away the wet tracks from the soft rosy cheek, bringing a soft and hesitant smile on Addison's lips. The surgeon's stare was boring into Meredith's dark and twisted soul, forgetting to give a verbal response..

"Okay?" Meredith pressed when she received no response.

"Why are you being nice to me, Grey?" Addison muttered in a hoarse voice, finding the entire situation a little bizarre. Meredith couldn't understand why Addison was so surprised that someone was being decently nice towards her. Even if that someone was Meredith Grey. Had she actually presented that much of a wrongful image of herself?

"Because you are a good person, Montgomery, and you deserve someone on your corner. There are still people who care about you, okay?"

With a roll of her eyes, Addison scoffed at that. "Please."

Meredith lowered her hand from her cheek and slapped her playfully on the leg. "Don't say that. People do care about you."

"Name one."

"Dr. Torres, for one thing, who didn't want to leave you alone in this condition and surprisingly she chose me to send in."

"She did what?" Addison raised an eyebrow, causing Meredith to chuckle. 'I'll take care of her later." The young intern pulled an unused tissue from her pocket and raised it at Addison's eyesight level, waiting for permission. After a nod, she dubbed it softly against the attending's face, clearing the mascara mess below her eyes effectively.

"Don't go all feral, Doctor. She was only trying to help." Meredith teased her softly, failing to see the way Addison was looking at her. Her eyes filled with gratitude and warmth but with quite a bit of uncertainty. "Also Bailey and the Chief. They really care for you, you know."

"And how would you know that, Dr. Grey?" Addison smirked a little at her which caused Meredith's smile to widen as she tended to her face and failed to see the mischief in the still wet and bloodshot eyes. Unbeknownst to Meredith, her presence in that supply closet had actually managed to lift Addison's spirit quite a bit.

Meredith sat back on her heels and lowered her hands from Addison's face. "I am a watcher. I see things. I observe a lot." She wore a very serious mask on her face when she said that.

"You are insufferable, Grey." The mask cracked at Addison's comment, letting a smile spread on her lips.

"I get that a lot." She stood up, extending a hand towards the older woman. "Come on. Up." Addison stared at the hand hesitantly but in the end she gave in and encircled Meredith's warm fingers with her own.

The warmth had sent a jolt of electricity in Meredith's body, causing her to miscalculate the strength with which she pulled Addison on her feet. With a sharp tag the two women came face to face with each other- a little closer than they were supposed to be. Addison remained quiet.

"And I care to." Meredith found herself whispering bravely as she glanced briefly at her lips, before turning her gaze back into pools of green.

"Why?" Meredith inhaled sharply when she felt Addison's breath against her lips. Addison didn't seem to notice it as she stared at the pair of pale lips, just a breath away from her own.

A tongue poked out to moisturize them and Addison had to fight all the urges that came crashing down her body all of a sudden. Meredith didn't know that, but Addison hadn't felt that way since her wedding to Derek. If she was honest with herself, the feelings during her wedding paled in comparison with what she was feeling at that moment.

"Because I do. Is that too hard to accept?" The mousy woman countered with a playful smile, which Addison failed to respond to. She was caught off guard by the words.

For a while neither woman made a move. Not to step away and not to step closer. They simply stood there. Meredith could almost feel Addison's warmth against her skin. She wanted so much to reach out and touch her; kiss her. But she couldn't. It wouldn't be appropriate. She could almost picture the rejection in her mind.

Meredith cleared her throat. "Do you need a ride, Dr. Montgomery?" Her question seemed to break the sudden tension between the two and also change the subject. It worked well since both women took a step back awkwardly and Meredith prevented herself from doing something she believed she shouldn't.

"I can't fathom being alone right now. I think I'll spend my night here." Addison stated and brushed off her white robes, getting rid of the imaginary dust, seemingly disappointed?

No. Meredith was imagining things. There was no way. "Come to my house, then." What?

"What?" Addison voiced her thoughts.

"Why not? I have plenty of space and booze which we both certainly need. My roommates are on- call and staying at the hospital tonight so no one will see you crying. If you want to, I mean. I've already seen you, so I don't count. You won't be alone because I'll be there. See? That's logic." Meredith pointed out in one of her famous rants. What am I saying? What am I doing?

Addison was surprised and a little bit suspicious at her offer. "Are you planning to kill me off or something? You sound way too eager for me to join you." The suspicion on Addison's eyes was enough to make the other physician chuckle amused.

"Never, doctor. I took an oath to do no harm. I would never." She teased. Walking towards the door and placing a hand on the handle she glanced at the OB with an anxious and expectant smile. "So?"

Addison appeared to be in thought for a while but Meredith noticed the moment the redhead seemed to be making her decision and smiled before she had even spoken. "Oh what the hell. I guess it wouldn't hurt. You've already seen me in my worst anyway."

"I'll meet you at the entrance in ten, then." At Addison's nod, Meredith exited first. A soft smile appeared on her lips when she heard the heels behind her. She could feel the panic rising in her gut

but she pushed it down stubbornly.

What's done, is done. Don't fuck this up, now. And don't make it awkward. It's just a friend consoling another friend.

Except... when was it ever as simple as that? Chapter End Notes

So? Any thoughts? How did you find this part? Let me know please 3

Chapter Notes

Unable to keep her distance

It's finally up! And we are halfway there! I hope you are still enjoying the story!

I know I am enjoying writing that's for sure! Thank you for all of your comments btw! They mean the world 3

Enjoyyyy!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Meredith drove Addison to her place as she had promised. She unlocked the door and turned back to see the redhead hesitating at her doorstep. "Are you sure your roommates won't return tonight?" she whispered nervously.

"Yes. They are on call so they are staying at the hospital." Meredith shed her coat as she replied. She made sure not to push her to come inside and watched as she took her time.

"And Derek? Won't he be visiting you in the middle of the night?" She looked away as if she was actually scared of the response.

"I don't see why he would." She felt the fiery gaze before she saw it. At Addison's questioning glance, Meredith clarified. "We broke it off."

"Oh." The redhead acknowledged with a nod. "I am sorry." Is she sorry? Or is she bothered that Derek and I destroyed her marriage for nothing?

If Meredith were to truly ask, the answer might have shocked her.

Instead of asking, since she was terrified of the answer, she decided to clarify her position. "I am not." Meredith shrugged with an easy smile. She was relieved to see Addison reciprocating it.

Addison, finally, made her way inside and closed the door behind her. She hung her coat next to Meredith's and slipped out of her heels. It was so bizarre; to have Addison Forbes Montgomery in her house, barefoot, ready for a sleepover as if they had been friends forever and did that every weekend.

Meredith forced herself not to dwell in silly thoughts or read more into the situation than she should. "Would you like something to drink or eat?" She offered as they both walked towards the living room.

"I am not that hungry. But I wouldn't say no to a glass of wine." Meredith nodded. "Make yourself comfortable. I'll be right back."

Meredith returned with two bottles of wine, one red and one white. "Add-" She cut herself off as soon as her eyes landed on the motionless silhouette on the couch. It seemed that Addison had followed her suggestion and relaxed on the couch but as soon as her feet were tucked under her, the exhaustion must have poured out of every pore of her body and sleep overtook her.

Meredith placed both bottles softly on the table and reached out for the blanket that was thrown on

the back of the couch. Very carefully and quietly, she draped it over the slumbering woman. She stood over her, watching the serenity on her face. She seemed so peaceful and beautiful that she wanted to brush her fingers over her smooth cheek, curl up beside her and watch her sleep all night.

God, why do I sound like such a stalker!

Meredith pulled herself away with difficulty and went back to the kitchen. She decided to let the woman sleep a little longer so she put in an order to her favorite restaurant and while she waited for their food, she tidied up the kitchen a little bit.

Whilst in the middle of doing the dishes, Meredith paused with the sponge in her hand. Addison Forbes Montgomery was in her house, currently napping on HER couch. How had she remained cool for so long? How the hell had she not freaked out yet?

And now her hands started shaking. Get a fucking grip!

When the doorbell rang, Meredith almost jumped out of her skin. She hadn't realized how much time had passed with her standing there with the same plate in her hands. She dried her hands quickly and headed for the door.

As soon as she returned to the living room with an armful of take-out boxes, Addison blinked at her through sleepy eyes. The young intern almost swooned at the way the dazed redhead was looking up at her, trying to piece everything together.

"I ordered a few things." It was Meredith's attempt at an explanation.

Addison nodded in slow motion and sat up. "A few is an understatement." Green eyes took in all the take out boxes overflowing Meredith's embrace and couldn't help the chuckle spilling from her lips. "Are you planning on feeding an entire army?"

"I didn't know what you might like." Meredith countered with a glare. "How about you get your butt off the couch and help me instead of judging and making fun of me, Dr. Judgy Face."

"Oh that's a new one. Frankly, I prefer my other nickname." Addison stated as she got up and offered Meredith a helping hand. "Satan, wasn't it?"

The nickname was a joke between the interns, actually between their group of interns, when Addison first came to Seattle Grace. She had no idea how Addison heard about it and that showed by her surprise, which was quite evident when she almost lost the grip on the rest of the boxes. "Steady there, Doctor Grey. People might actually think that you didn't mean it."

Meredith stared alarmed at Addison -or her teasing smile to be exact- while the other woman unloaded the armful. "You know about that?"

Addison glanced up as soon as she placed the last box on the coffee table, before straightening and closing the distance between the two. She seemed to be enjoying letting Meredith shimmer and struggle.

Meredith's breath caught on her throat at their distance. Addison didn't seem to notice. "I do, but I'd prefer the Ruler of all that is Evil. It sounds more majestic and fitting, don't you think?"

"No." She croaked and immediately cleared her throat and repeated her reply. "No, I don't. You are not any of those things. I am so sorry. I don't believe you are Satan or the Ruler of all that is Evil. God, I am so sorry, Addison. It was so long ago and I didn't know you, yet. I was hurt and angry at Derek and I guess I took it out on you" She apologized, staring into the other woman's

eyes as if she was begging her to believe her.

"Hm." Addison nodded, keeping a neutral expression. "And you think you know me, now?"

Is this a trick question? Why is she standing so close? Oh dear God, I cannot breathe. Did I answer her? Fuck, I don't remember.

"I don't think you are any of these things, Addison." Meredith insisted in a trembling voice, but Addison shook her head, chuckling finally. Meredith frowned.

"It's okay, Meredith." Addison took a step back amused. "I am just teasing you."

"That's a little mean. You know that, right? That's probably why the nickname stuck." Meredith was clearly butthurt.

Addison threw her head back, laughing. The sound was the most beautiful music in Meredith's ear. The helpless blonde was so far gone it wasn't even funny anymore.

"I can't argue with that." She took her place on the couch, watching Meredith's little smile as the blonde walked back to the kitchen, returning seconds later with two glasses and two forks.

Addison was staring at Meredith with a thoughtful smile on her lips. "What?" Meredith asked as she took a seat next to the other woman.

"I should be the one apologizing to you for the things I implied that night in the bar, you know." Addison said out of the blue.

Meredith averted her eyes at the mention of that night, her smile fading just the tiniest bit. "As much as I would like to pretend that it didn't bother me, I would lie if I said that hearing what your idea of me is, didn't hurt." she muttered, doing everything in her power to avoid eye contact with the beautiful redhead. At the moment, she felt that if Addison even glanced at her face, she would be able to read every emotion on it.

"Meredith, what I said that night is not by any means my idea of you. Even when I met you for the first time, I never once thought of that. You are an exceptional, intelligent woman, a bit dark at times not gonna lie, but you are also so amazing." She felt a hand around her wrist before she saw it.

It was warm and soft and it sent tingles up and down her spine. Her stomach made a little dance when Addison tugged at her hand to get her attention. Hesitantly, Meredith looked in Addison's affectionate and kind eyes. When had she even shifted so close again?

"I wasn't myself that night. A lot of things happened. I was hurt and angry and I never meant those things, I am sorry." Addison explained, her thumb brushing against her pulse point. Meredith could barely concentrate on what Addison was saying. She kept worrying that the friendly woman was going to notice her irregular pulse and Meredith's little crush was going to explode at her face.

Of course none of what Meredith was overthinking about happened, so when Addison asked if the intern was okay, she nodded with a faux smile. For all she knew, she could have agreed to enlist in a war. She hadn't heard a word besides the apology for that night.

When Addison moved away, she missed the warmth instantly.

"So what did you order?" The gorgeous redhead asked, feeling famished all of a sudden. Meredith passed a glass to her, their fingers brushing together, causing Meredith's cheeks to flush a soft pink,

which she hid behind her loose hair and her ability to distract Addison with the food.

"An assortment of things. Four kinds of pasta. Two pizzas. Mini burgers and lots of fries." Meredith started listing things, glancing at the take-away boxes.

Addison's eyes widened, almost popping out of their sockets. "Who's gonna eat all that?"

Meredith chuckled. She opened a pizza box and grabbed a slice and passed it to Addison. "Don't you worry about that. Apart from Izzie's baking, no one cooks in this house. The leftovers won't go to waste. Would you like red or white wine?"

"Hmm red would be fine."

Meredith poured some red on her glass and some white on her own, and then resumed her eating.

When the two finished half the pizza, Meredith started rummaging and peeking inside the take-out boxes. Addison watched her in amusement.

"Aha!" Addison blinked at the sudden exclamation. Meredith opened the container and stuck her fork into it. "You've gotta try this. It's the best carbonara I've ever tasted." Only when Meredith placed her fork in front of Addison's mouth, did she realize what she was actually doing. Instead of removing her hand and acting all weird, ruining the easiness between them, she gritted her teeth and tried not to react when Addison wrapped her lips around the fork without breaking eye contact. The unintentional gulp when Addison closed her eyes and moaned at the taste couldn't be helped.

"You're right. This is delicious." Addison nodded, having completely missed the reaction she caused Meredith.

Said blonde turned to the front again and resumed eating, trying in vain to calm down her fast beating heart and the somersault happening in her stomach.

The rest of the night seemed to be running smoothly. Conversation flowed naturally between the two and the wine and food managed to relax them both quite a bit until it was time to retire for the night.

Meredith had offered Izzie's room for her guest to sleep in. However Addison didn't feel comfortable using someone else's bed without their knowledge so she assured Meredith that she was going to be okay on the couch. Even though Meredith tried to assure her that Izzie wouldn't mind and even offered her own bed, Addison insisted, so the young intern provided her with a bedsheet and a pillow and informed her where to find another blanket in case the one she was currently having wasn't doing the job. She also handed her a pair of shorts - which she was going to regret in a few minutes when Addison's long legs would be in such a display - and one of her Dartmouth T-shirts to sleep in.

When Addison returned from the bathroom, Meredith had cleared away all the take-out boxes and caught a glimpse of the long smooth legs of her boss. She felt her cheeks burning from the blush that was forming and she ducked away to hide it, evoking quite the confusion in Addison.

After Addison thanked her, they said their goodnights and Meredith made her way to her room on the floor above as fast as she could. The image of Addison in her own clothes was carved into her brain and not even brain surgery could take it away now.

Meredith groaned and buried her face in the pillow.

She had been trying to make herself comfortable in the bed for about an hour but the constant toss

and turn made it impossible to relax enough to sleep. The constant thought of Addison being in her living room alone after the day she had, didn't let her mind or her body rest. Had she managed to sleep yet? Or was she sitting there alone in the dark like Meredith was?

The sole reason Meredith had invited the distressed woman over was so that she wouldn't be alone, wasn't it? With her mind made up, she tossed the blanket off her body and quietly made her way downstairs to check on her visitor. As soon as she poked a head in the living room, she frowned. Her instincts were right to nudge her.

Addison was sitting there on the couch staring passively ahead. The soft light from the table lamp was casting shadows around the redhead, looking like it had set her hair aflame. Meredith approached cautiously, in total control of her urge to run her fingers through fiery locks of hair.

"Hey."

"Hey." Addison muttered, having heard Meredith's soft footsteps as she approached. "I am sorry, I couldn't sleep."

"No need to apologize. I couldn't either." The blonde joined her, sitting cross legged on the couch but facing the other woman.

"Why couldn't you sleep? Is it because of...?" Refraining from using his name, Addison asked curiously. She released a soft breath when Meredith shook her head.

"Derek? No. He has been the furthest thing on my mind since we broke up." She looked away guiltily because she felt she was the reason Addison and Derek didn't work the second time because he thought he was in love with her and now they weren't even together.

"I see." Addison nodded, eyeing the younger woman closely. If mind-reading was a thing, Meredith was sure Addison would hear all of her screaming thoughts; that was how loud her mind was screaming at the moment. "Why can't you sleep then?" The redhead decided to change the subject since neither woman wanted to talk about Derek, it seemed.

Meredith shrugged, a soft pink painting her cheeks. "I didn't... I had to... I didn't want you to be alone." The confession spilled from her lips in a stuttering mess but it still managed to surprise Addison who turned to look at her wide-eyed.

"I don't want your pity, Meredith."

"I don't pity you." She grabbed her wrist before she had a chance to get away. "I believe you are an extraordinary person. I believe you don't deserve any of the pain you've been dealt with."

"Why are you being so nice to me, Gray?" Addison whispered hesitantly, afraid of what the reply was going to be.

Meredith smiled softly and tucked a red strand behind the woman's ear. "Damn it, Addison. Because you are freaking amazing. Because you are the nicest person I've ever met. Because I like you. And because you deserve the world. Alright? It has nothing to do with pity."

Out of all the outcomes, Addison capturing Meredith's lips in a searing kiss was the last thing Meredith expected. Yet, the shock rendered Meredith unable to proceed and barely able to process the yelling inside her brain.

Addison Forbes Montgomery is kissing you. Addison Forbes Montgomery is kissing you. It was playing in a constant loop.

Thankfully, when Addison's fingers dug through her hair and gripped at the base of her head lightly, Meredith managed to snap out of it and kiss the woman back. A soft moan at the back of Addison's throat shook Meredith to the core and actually drew her bolder side out. She placed two hands on each of Addison's sides and gripped tightly, pressing their bodies together. It was all it took for the other woman to part her lips and allow entrance to Meredith's little curious pink tongue.

Their kissing - and by kissing I mean their full-blown make out session - continued for quite a few minutes with each woman getting lost in each other and the amazing sensation that was coursing through their veins.

When Addison pulled away, panting and gazing lustfully at Meredith's swollen lips, Meredith whined in disappointment. "Meredith," Meredith glanced at her through heavy lidded eyes "will you take me upstairs?" The vulnerability in Addison's voice was all it took. Meredith nodded. She placed a hand on Addison's cheek and brought their lips together again; softer this time.

"Your couch doesn't give me the freedom to ravish that delicious body of yours." Addison muttered against her lips, practically feeling the breath that caught in Meredith's throat.

In her rush to get up and lead Addison to her bedroom, the blonde stumbled and almost fell face first on the floor. At Addison's chuckle, Meredith turned bright red and glared at her. "Shut up." She mumbled as she grabbed Addison's hand and pulled her towards her bedroom, listening to the woman laughing all the way upstairs. Meredith, having enough of Addison chuckling behind her, turned abruptly and gripped the hem of Addison's shirt -her own shirt technically. She pushed her against the wall and captured her lips, silencing the teasing chuckles.

"Don't test me, Doctor Montgomery." She muttered against her lips.

The playful redhead smirked and placed a finger beneath Meredith's chin, applying slight pressure to lift it up a bit. "That's a really dangerous game you are trying to play, Doctor Grey."

"I enjoy the danger." Meredith smirked with a fierce challenging stare and that was all it took for Addison to slip her hand at the back of her neck and connect their lips in a lustful kiss full of teeth and tongue.

The two women backtracked into Meredith's room and Addison pushed the slightly shorter woman towards the bed. The back of Meredith's knees hit the mattress, sending the blonde woman flying backwards with a gasp. Addison climbed on the bed, placing a leg on each side of Meredith. The way she looked at her... It was as if Meredith had been her prey all along.

Addison gripped each hand, intertwining their fingers and pushing them over Meredith's head as she assaulted her neck with her teeth and lips.

"I've been waiting to defile your beautiful body for quite some time." Addison growled in Meredith's ear as she pressed her knee between her legs, making the woman beneath her squirm in excitement.

"Q-quite s-some time?" Meredith stuttered, unable to stop the moan spilling from her lips.

Addison smirked against the woman's soft pale neck and lifted her head to look at her. Red locks cascaded down from one side of her face and the pale light of the bedside lamp painted her in the most gorgeous and breathtaking way. "Indeed. But that is a conversation I'd rather have later, if you don't mind. Right now I want to enjoy you."

A breathless "okay" was the only thing Meredith could say when Addison was looking at her like that.

"Good girl." The praise fell from Addison's lips so effortlessly causing all kinds of reactions from Meredith's body. The involuntary grind against her leg and the loud full of want shuddering breath was all it took for Addison to make quick work of both of their clothes.

The two women spent the rest of the night getting lost in each other's arms, letting their feelings and their desires take over. To hell with consequences. To hell with responsibility. To hell with tomorrow.

The night belonged to them and their feelings only. Chapter End Notes

To be continued ;)

Chapter Notes

Morning after

You still here? Helloooo! 3

Thank you for your comments and your kudos! They are brightening my day every time! You are the best!

I hope you will enjoy the newest chapter!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Sunlight drifted through a small opening in Meredith's heavy drapes. It casted an orange glow around the room, probing one of them awake. Meredith's eyes fluttered open. The sunlight was hitting her square on the face, so she quickly closed her eyes with a groan. She could feel the sleeping woman stir against her back but she wasn't ready to deal with that just yet.

Meredith was scared. She was scared of how Addison was going to react to last night's events. She was scared of what Addison was going to do now in the morning when she would think more clearly. Was she going to flee? Was she going to ignore her from then on? Was she going to regret whatever happened between the two?

Meredith could only hope that she wouldn't have to deal with any of that. She was so content, so comfortable in the warmth of Addison's embrace. Was it too early to feel safe in the arms of someone whom you just had been intimate with for the first time? But Addison wasn't just someone, she wasn't a stranger Meredith had picked up in a bar after too many tequila shots. Addison was special, and gentle and warm. Addison was comfort.

Meredith had been in love with Addison for quite some time now. Deep down she knew it, no matter how hard she had tried to deny it before by calling it just a silly crush and ignoring her feelings. And it wasn't that she didn't want to act on her feelings. She was just expecting to be rejected if she did. Why would someone like Addison care for someone like her, someone so dark and twisty? The moment Addison had kissed her the night before, her entire world shifted on its axis. In the dark of the night, Meredith had let herself hope that Addison could actually feel the same for her.

But now, in the bright light of day, she was worried that the woman, who had affected her life so much already, only did what she did because she just needed the reassuring comfort of a person; whoever that person might be. Her whole body tensed at the thought. Her breath was starting to come in short fast puffs of air.

And then came soft warm lips pressed against her chilly skin. The sudden soft kiss on her shoulder startled her but it worked on easing her worries like a charm. It was as if Addison knew exactly what she needed. So yes. Feeling safe in the arms of the gentle redhead wasn't something Meredith would ruin with her insecurities and worries; even if it was going to destroy her in the end.

She turned and buried her face against Addison's neck, smiling with relief as soon as Addison tightened her hold on her instead of pulling away. She placed a leg over Addison's and felt the woman's hand on her thigh almost instantly. Feeling bolder, Meredith draped an arm over her stomach, brushing her fingertips over warm soft skin.

"Good morning." Addison murmured, running her fingers up and down Meredith's back.

Free from her concerning thoughts, all Meredith wanted to do was extend their morning siesta. "Five more minutes." her whine made Addison chuckle. Meredith marveled at the sound.

"We are going to be late for work." Addison warned her.

Meredith, taking advantage of Addison being so sweet and gentle in the morning, bit on her neck playfully. "Please. Just five more minutes." She soothed the irritated skin with her tongue, marveling at the way Addison's breath was caught in her throat.

The low moan that escaped thin lips, told Meredith exactly how this was going to play out. She had her right where she wanted her. "Alright, five more minutes." Addison gave in so easily. It was obvious that neither woman was too eager to go to work, if it meant leaving behind a warm bed and each other's embrace.

Addison gasped when Meredith climbed on top of her with a grin. "Maybe we should make that twenty. Thirty?"

Addison's chuckle was cut short by Meredith's lips, nipping playfully at her own.

"You are so needy." Addison whined against her lips, but when Meredith's hand slipped between her legs all words fled from Addison's mind.

"Hmm and you call me needy..." Meredith teased her and leaned in again, completely ignoring the possibility of being late to work.

Actually neither seemed to mind it one bit. Instead Meredith spent the entirety of those twenty minutes worshiping every inch of Addison's statuesque body, learning every curve and mark that she had missed in the dark of the night.

When they finally managed to get out of the bed, they took a quick shower together, during which Addison made sure Meredith was well taken care of, and decided to skip breakfast to avoid any run-ins with Meredith's roommates. Meredith drove Addison to work since she had left her car back at the hospital the night before.

The car ride was quiet but comfortable, with Addison almost falling asleep in the passenger's seat. Meredith chuckled when she noticed. She placed a hand on Addison's thigh, brushing her thumb up and down softly. "If you keep this up, I'll definitely fall asleep again." Addison murmured with a smile and her eyes closed.

"You have a few more minutes if you want to." Meredith pointed out. The butterflies erupted in her stomach when Addison reached out and took Meredith's hand, lifting it and pressing a kiss on her wrist.

"I am okay. Don't worry about it."

They kept their hands together until they arrived at the hospital.

The two lovestruck surgeons shared one long and risky kiss in the hospital's parking lot before they got out of the car and then parted ways. As Meredith was walking away, she couldn't help but steal a final glance at the woman. Addison was watching her walking away. She winked. She fucking winked at her. Meredith blushed; actually blushed and smiled. If she added just the tiniest sway of her hips to entice the other woman who would blame her?

With a rosy tint on her cheeks and a dreamy smile on her lips, Meredith made her way inside the locker room where she met her person.

"You had sex!" Cristina exclaimed loudly and Meredith rushed to shush her. She was glad that the rest of her friends weren't around to hear. The rest of the interns that were in the room though didn't need to hear the details of Meredith's night. She wasn't ready for the entire hospital to know about her business so she pulled Cristina to a corner, grinning the entire time.

"You so got laid last night." Cristina teased her in a singsong voice, impressed and a bit curious. "Who was it? McDreamy?"

At Meredith's disgusted grimace, Cristina rolled her eyes. "Don't make a face. You've already tapped that."

"Yeah well. I didn't know any better then." Meredith shrugged but didn't reveal the identity of the person just yet, letting Cristina stew on it for a while.

"Don't tell me it was McSteamy." Meredith simply shook her head. She almost jumped out of her skin when Cristina gasped. "Oh my God! It's McHotty, isn't it?"

Meredith pressed her lips together in an attempt to stop the giddy smile; an attempt that proved fruitless. There was no stopping the giggle that escaped her when she nodded.

At the weird sound escaping the blonde intern, Cristina looked at her as if she had grown a second head. She hadn't ever heard her friend make that sound before. "You are smitten! What did she even do to you?" Cristina snickered.

"You have no idea. I didn't even want to get out of bed today. And you know how much I love my job." Meredith's cheeks were starting to hurt at how much she was grinning. "I'd rather be in bed with her than scrub in on a surgery. How weird is that?"

Cristina raised her eyebrows in surprise. "I wouldn't know." She stated with all the seriousness she could muster.

The best friends looked at each other all serious before bursting into laughter, attracting some attention from the other interns.

When their laughter finally dissipated, Meredith started chewing on her lower lip nervously. Cristina, of course, noticed right away and pulled her to an isolated bench, thankfully the room had emptied for the most part, so she wasn't worried that someone would be listening in. "What's wrong?"

"I think I am scared." She confessed with a whisper. "Of?"

"Of screwing this up? Of her leaving me? Of her not feeling the same? I am scared of everything." She groaned, lying back on the bench and placing her legs over Cristina's lap.

If she was looking at her friend, she would have seen the surprised realization overtaking Cristina's face. "I knew you had feelings for her but I never understood how serious they were."

Meredith nodded, closing her eyes. "When she took a few days off, I lost the earth below my feet."

"I do remember that. There was no shutting up about her. You were such a nightmare." Cristina teased her, earning herself a soft kick on her stomach.

The worried intern huffed. "Stop joking. I am serious. How should I deal with this?"

"I don't know, Mer, but you can't let your fear stop you from enjoying it. Even if it doesn't last... Even if you get hurt in the process, you owe it to yourself to give it a try. It is what you wanted." Cristina advised her with a serious stare on her face. "If you are asking me, I do believe that this thing between you and her is the real deal."

Meredith sat up a bit, eyebrows pressed together, hope pushing away the worry from her eyes. "Really?"

Cristina shrugged. "Call it my gut feeling. It is rarely wrong by the way. Now-" She knocked Meredith's feet off her lap. "-I am joining the new Cardiothoracic attending for surgery in ten minutes." She hopped off the bench and stared Meredith down. "Go for it, Mer. What's the worst that could happen? You will regret it, if you don't."

Cristina's words played on a loop in her head. She didn't even notice when her friend had left. Did she dare hope? Did she dare try?

The door opened wide. "Grey." Bailey snapped at her. "Are you done daydreaming or should I send you home today?" Classic Bailey almost tore her head off. She was eyeing her with that fed up glare of hers which made every intern's blood run cold.

"I am ready, Doctor Bailey." She stood up quickly.

"You are with me in the Pit today."

"Okay." She said almost disappointed that she wasn't with Addison. She hadn't been in her service for so long. Which made sense since the woman had been on leave. Still, she hoped that she would be able to spend some time with her. God, am I already that hooked?

"Don't look so thrilled about it." Bailey mocked her in her own unique sarcastic way. Meredith was almost ashamed.

As lunchtime rolled around, Addison, who had been wearing a silly smile since that morning, made her way to the cafeteria. She was a bit disappointed that she hadn't managed to secure Meredith as her intern. Working with Meredith had always been so relaxing for her. Even prior to their shared night, even after knowing about Derek and her, their teamwork had been excellent. The young intern was always focused on her job and meticulous with every case. She didn't groan and whine because she was working with the vagina squad. Addison hated it when people talked about their specialty with so much contempt as if it was the worst field you could work in. But not once had she heard Meredith Grey call it that or mock it in any way. It was usually Yang, Stevens and Karev that did. So working with someone who appreciated her teachings or didn't mumble and whine about her subject, yes, that was actually refreshing and enjoyable.

But that was not the only reason Addison had requested her that day. The night before had been quite the surprising outcome. In fact, the laid-back attending had not expected such kind treatment from Meredith or such level of passion and want for her. After their morning make-out session, Addison was unable to keep Meredith out of her mind. Yes, it sounded surprising even to her own ears but the motives for requesting her had been as much personal as professional. Unfortunately, when she requested 'Grey' from Bailey, completely forgetting that they were two of them, the resident misunderstood and sent Little Grey to her. She couldn't correct the mistake without making Bailey suspicious so she went with it.

When Addison walked in the cafeteria, Meredith had already been there with Yang. Apparently she had already spoken to Cristina about it, because as soon as the other intern laid eyes on her, she whispered something to Meredith, and Meredith snapped her head towards her. Addison shot her a secretive smile which was immediately reciprocated and chose to sit on a table by herself. They hadn't talked about their situation yet so by mutual agreement they decided to keep things on the low until they decided how to handle this new thing between them. And that meant not eating together or being affectionate in public.

Shortly after Addison started eating in silence and stealing glances at Meredith every now and then, she was joined by her best friend, Callie. The orthopedic surgeon was happy to see Addison feeling better. The last time she saw her, she had been crying her eyes out in a supply room, blaming herself for everything that was wrong in the world. The curiosity of what had so dramatically changed since the day before was written all over her face.

"Did you kill her?" Callie couldn't help but blurt out.

Addison stopped mid-chewing. "I beg your pardon?"

"I sent Meredith to you yesterday? You were alone in a room filled with a lot of medical supplies, some of them would make interesting murder weapons. Did you do it?" Callie's eyes had widened comically as she waited for an answer.

"No, don't be ridiculous." Addison chuckled and stole a glance at the intern sitting at the other side of the cafeteria. The secretive smile that erupted on Addison's face when she caught Meredith watching her, confused Callie even more. "She was actually really sweet and helpful last night."

"You are aware that you are talking about the woman who's been sleeping with your husband, right?"

"Ex-husband." Addison pointed out with a hard stare. "And she is not sleeping with him anymore." Callie gasped. "Oh my God! Did you kill him?"

"What?" Addison laughed at Callie's exaggerated behavior. "Kill who? Derek?"

"Well yeah. You are quite cheerful today. What gives?" Her curious friend inquiered when she

didn't get a straight answer. "Also how do you know they are not sleeping together anymore?" She added as an afterthought.

"No. I didn't kill Derek. I wouldn't ruin my career for him."

Addison contemplated, telling her the truth as she fidgeted with the soda can in her hand. Callie wasn't one to gossip and she would be able to keep the secret if she told her. Meredith had already told her best friend and Callie had been a great friend to Addison; she didn't deserve being lied to. "And she told me. Last night. When I stayed at her place."

Callie choked on her fry. "You didn't!" The exclamation was so loud that the entire cafeteria turned to look at them. Addison willed the earth to open and swallow her whole from the embarrassment.

"Oh my God! Shush!" Addison groaned, panicking at all of the attention. "I did."

The expression on Callie's face was absolutely hilarious. It was a mixture of shock, realization and amusement. "Out of all the outcomes I expected sending her in will produce, this is definitely not one of them." She chuckled. "How did that happen?"

"I don't have an idea. It was as if something snapped in me when we were sitting alone in her home. She had been so sweet and supportive and then I started to recognise this feeling in my chest; this ache and this yearn to kiss her and hold her, you know? So I did."

"You kissed her?" she exclaimed loudly once again.

"Callie!" Addison groaned, hiding her face in her hands, completely missing Meredith's amused grin at the situation.

"Sorry, sorry." Callie mumbled feeling sorry for her reaction.

"You kissed 'her'? You go, Dr. Montgomery." A new sweet-as-sugar voice said as a new person joined them. Callie looked at the newcomer in surprise. Addison, too, glanced at the woman taking a seat next to her but without the surprise Callie's face showed off.

"I knew you of all people would approve." Addison teased her. "Callie, this is Dr. Arizona Robbins, our newest attending surgeon and Chief of Pediatrics. Arizona, this is Callie Torres, she is an orthopedic resident, but mark my words, she'll become the Chief of Ortho in no time. She is a true artist." Addison made the introduction and sat back as the two women shook hands.

"Callie? Is that short for Calliope?" "Yes it is."

"It's a very beautiful name. It's nice to meet you, Dr. Torres." Arizona's sweet smile was going to be Callie's demise. She was certain of it.

"T-thank you." CallieTorres, one of the most confident surgeons in the entire hospital, stuttered. She literally stuttered at the presence of the most bubbly and sweet surgeon walking the earth. Addison smirked knowingly. "L-likewise."

Arizona couldn't help but smile some more at Callie's awkward embarrassment and decided to cut her some slack, so she turned to the other doctor at their table. "So did I hear correctly? Did you join my club?"

"Your club?" Curiosity helped Callie find her voice.

"The club of vagina monologues. And I was already a member." Addison grinned coyly, placing the straw of her soda in her mouth and wiggling her eyebrows at Callie.

Callie reached out and hit her arm. "You never told me that."

Addison could only chuckle. "Well you never asked." The two doctors grilled Addison for details but she refused to give them any. This thing between her and Meredith felt too precious but also too fragile so she didn't want to jinx it. No one could warn her about the outside factors and her own insecurities that could or would potentially ruin what was already becoming the only thing that made her heart swell with warmth and happiness.

After a glance at her watch, Addison groaned and popped a fry in her mouth. She got up while informing them that she had to attend a surgery in a few minutes. Before she left, she leaned over the table while looking at Callie. "Oh and by the way, we did a lot more than kissing. That's all I

am going to say."

At Callie's exasperating "Addison Forbes Montgomery" Addison was already walking out, laughing. Callie was fuming that she was unable to satisfy her curiosity with details but Arizona made sure to draw her attention away from that fact with one simple question. Or maybe two.

"So Calliope, are you doing anything tonight? Would you like to get a drink with me?"

Addison and Meredith met up after the end of their shifts. During the day, Addison had sent a message to Meredith asking her out to dinner. Meredith had accepted immediately and was actually looking forward to it. When she laid eyes on the woman that had already stolen her heart, she frowned.

Through the rumor mill she had heard that Addison had lost a patient that day. A preemie baby with a heart condition. It was written all over her face how much it had affected her. She didn't even notice when Meredith approached her. Slowly the young woman wrapped her fingers around her elbow, muttering a soft 'hey'.

Addison snapped out of her trance and glanced at Meredith. A soft but sad smile stretched on her lips. "Are you ready to go?"

Meredith contemplated it and finally shook her head. "We don't have to go for dinner tonight. I heard what happened." She tried to reassure the glum woman.

Addison sighed and nodded, thankful that Meredith understood. "I am so sorry, Mer. I was looking forward to it." Meredith glanced around quickly and when she made sure that the coast was clear, she tiptoed a bit and pressed her lips on Addison's cheek, melting the sensitive attending's heart.

"I know. It's not your fault. We are surgeons. These things happen. We'll do it another day. Is there anything you need?" Meredith asked, glancing at a pair of sad green eyes.

"Will you come spend the night with me?" Addison's fragile voice broke her heart. Even that small request seemed to be a struggle for Addison to make, as if she didn't want to be a bother to Meredith with this; as if someone convinced her that asking for something as simple as company was going to be an inconvenience. The vulnerability and worry in her eyes made any hesitation on Meredith's part disappear.

"Absolutely. Whatever you need." Meredith offered her a gentle smile. "I'll meet you there? I am gonna need my car so I can go home and change in the morning. You don't mind, do you?"

"No. of course not. I'll meet you there." Addison sighed with relief when Meredith agreed, her smile becoming a bit happier. With a quick peck on Addison's lips, Meredith made her way to her car.

When the two surgeons met again in Addison's suite, Meredith had brought her a cup of cocoa. It seemed that Meredith remembering all about her beloved juju was the trick to make her feel better. The two curled together on the couch and watched TV together, each of them comforting the other with their mere presence.

It seemed like the perfect ending to a semi-perfect day. Chapter End Notes

Thoughts?

What do you think is coming on the next chapter?

Chapter Notes

Only love can hurt like this

Helloooo! I am back with another part!

sorry it took so long. I was away for a week and a half and I couldn't edit in time. Did you miss me? Well you are going to regret that in a bit, don't wory.

Thank you so much for sticking with the story. It really means a lot.

I won't keep you longer. Enjoy (if you can)!

PS I am considering changing the title. It doesn't do it for me anymore. Should I do it now or wait until the story is done?

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Days melted into weeks. To her astonishment this was the first time Meredith felt so comfortable and happy in a relationship before. The interactions between them were so smooth and easy, it felt as if they were together for years; that was what shocked Meredith the most. Even though they hadn't spoken much about their relationship, they seemed to be very comfortable around each other. They were always aware of each other's needs without the other having to say anything; all it took was one glance and they knew exactly what to do.

Meredith had never had that in her life before, so sometimes she was at a loss on how to process it. One gentle smile or one loving gaze was what it usually took for Meredith to overcome any fears or anxieties. The times her worries got too bad and she couldn't immediately reach Addison -a fact that usually intensified her fear of abandonment- she turned to Cristina or Lexie, the latter having recently moved into Meredith's attic, usually made things easier. They were the only two people that Meredith had spoken to about Addison.

It was surprising how easy it was for Meredith to open up to the woman she was in love with, speaking to her about her mother, her father, and her childhood; things that she hadn't told anyone before. Even Cristina didn't know all the details.

The supportive woman was always listening to her patiently, prompting her with soothing words and gentle caresses, as if to show her that she was there and she wasn't going anywhere. For once in her dark and twisted life, Meredith could say that she had made the right choice by letting herself fall in love with Addison.

And this was exactly why Meredith didn't see the heartbreak that was lurking right around the corner.

When Addison asked Meredith to meet her in one of the on-call rooms, Meredith couldn't contain the huge bright smile that was gracing her face. It wasn't the first time that the mischievous surgeon paged Meredith to an on-call room. They had almost been caught by Bailey once. Meredith had found it mortifying while Addison didn't stop teasing her about it.

So as it was expected, Meredith assumed that this was the reason behind Addison's page. She hadn't detected any kind of change in Addison's behavior. Nothing to forewarn her for what was coming. If she knew what was coming, she wouldn't have set foot in that damned room unless they dragged her with force.

Meredith knocked softly and made her way inside. In her excitement, she didn't notice the way Addison seemed to be struggling with her emotions. She joined her on a bed with an enthusiastic greeting and sat beside her. Addison felt her heart crack at what was about to tell her. As a doctor, she knew that something like that was not possible, but it was as if she could hear it.

"What? Not even a kiss hello?" Meredith frowned. Addison turned her head and placed a soft kiss on the young woman's lips, but the lack of playfulness finally clued Meredith in.

Something was wrong. "Meredith..." Addison paused.

"What is it, Addie?" Meredith turned to face her, leaning forward a bit to get a better look at her face which was currently facing the floor. "Did something happen? What's wrong?" Meredith placed a hand on her shoulder, waiting for Addison to at least turn to look at her. Her frown deepened when the glum redhead closed her eyes tightly.

"Naomi made me an offer." Addison muttered finally and Meredith wished she hadn't.

"Naomi? Your friend from LA?" At Addison's nod, Meredith felt dread gathering in the pit of her stomach. "What kind of offer?"

"When I visited a few weeks ago we discussed the possibility of me working there. Before any of that-" she pointed between them "happened."

"In LA?" Meredith's voice caught in her throat when Addison nodded again. She removed her

hand from her shoulder as if it burnt. She let it drop on her lap. "And you decided to go." Meredith concluded from Addison's crestfallen expression.

There was a small pause from both of them. The fact that Addison was not admitting or denying Meredith's conclusion spoke volumes about her decision. "When are you leaving?" The cold tone that slipped into Meredith's voice made Addison flinch.

"In a week."

"Well..." Meredith rubbed her thighs and slapped them, to keep from blowing up, before getting up and offering a hand to Addison. "It was fun while it lasted. Have a good life, Doctor Montogomery." The smile that she offered her was impersonal, cold and fake. Both of them knew it. Beneath Meredith's mask there was a heartbroken woman who was struggling to keep her eyes from welling up with tears, but the stubborn intern refused to let Addison, who turned out to be just another person leaving her, see her cry.

Addison wrapped the fingers of her right hand around her elbow and placed her other hand on Meredith's cheek. "Sweetheart..."

The hand on her cheek felt like such a slap of betrayal even though it was the softest caress of her life. Meredith almost let herself break down. Almost.

"No." She muttered. "No, you don't get to do that. You made a choice that certainly doesn't include me. You don't get to try to make me feel better with your stupid tenderness and your stupid nicknames." Meredith snapped. She didn't have time to feel bad for making Addison flinch. She was barely keeping herself together as it was.

"Meredith, please understand-" She tried to explain. Meredith tugged at her to break free but Addison didn't let go. She tried to fight her off, half heartedly.

"Addison, let me go. I swear to God..." Meredith warned with the angriest glare she could muster. "No. Not until you understand why I am doing this." Addison whispered, pulling her in.

Meredith scoffed. "Oh, I know why you are doing this. I know. I was a game for you. Maybe I was your plan for revenge? Make me fall in love with you, so I will dump your ex-husband? That way

you would get revenge on him by stealing his toy and on me by breaking my heart."

"Don't you ever say that again! You were never a toy." Addison, who was gripping at her shoulders, shook her angrily at her words. "I am doing this for you, you silly woman. You deserve better than what I can give you. I will only end up hurting you. Why can't you see that?"

Meredith froze at her words. Addison thought she finally understood. "You are scared." Meredith said instead. "You are scared and you are running."

"I am a cheater, Meredith. There will come a time that I will do to you the same thing I did to Derek and Mark. It's what I do. I am a fucking mess and I fuck things up. And I hurt the people I care about." Addison moved her hands from her shoulders to each side of her waist and leaned closer, brushing her nose against Meredith's. "I don't want to do the same thing to you."

Their lips met in the softest touch. Meredith pressed her eyes closed tightly to stop her tears in vain. Addison wasn't going to change her decision. She was never important enough to change someone's decision. The salty tears mingled in their kiss. Why couldn't Addison see that she was the only one Meredith wanted even if it meant getting hurt in the process?

Addison broke the kiss but held her forehead against Meredith's. "Please, sweetheart, don't cry." She murmured, brushing away the on going tears with her thumbs.

The pet name seemed to snap Meredith out of it. "Don't call me that. Don't touch me. Don't try to make me feel better when you are the reason I am like this. You say that you are doing this for me, trying to make me feel important but you are only kidding yourself." She pushed her away forcefully. Addison stumbled backwards a little bit but Meredith felt almost sorry for that.

"Don't feed me idiotic excuses when you simply don't want to stay, Addison. You are taking away my choice. Whether I want to be with you or not, it's my decision. If you told me that you simply didn't want to be with me, I would have accepted your decision. I would have been heart-broken but I would have accepted it. But this?" Meredith brushed away her angry tears, swaying a little on her feet. "It is my life. Whether I want to take the risk of getting hurt in the future or not, it's my choice to make. And I would gladly take that risk because I am in love with you."

Addison didn't say anything to this. What could she even say? She just stood there, looking at Meredith with those sad big eyes of hers. God, Meredith wanted to slap her. "I should have walked away. Why did I let this proceed? You are as untrustworthy as all the others." Meredith muttered instead.

"Meredith-" Addison made one more attempt to calm her and speak rationally.

But Meredith was having none of that. "Shut up. Shut up! I am tired of being the second choice for everyone. I am sick and tired. I am done." Meredith wiped away her tears angrily and moved to the door.

Addison tried to stop her again. Meredith didn't understand why. There was nothing she could say to make her feel better and she wasn't going to change her very important decision: a decision that didn't involve Meredith in the first place.

"Meredith, please. Listen to me." Addison gripped her shoulder to stop her from leaving. But Meredith cut her off again.

"Did you just wake up one day and decide to hurt me?" The rejected blonde sighed, brushing the delicate hand off her shoulder.

"I never meant to hurt you."

Hand on the handle, she turned her head around slightly unable to even look at her. "Why the hell did you make me love you then?" She muttered, grief lacing her voice.

The force she applied on the door to open it almost tore it off its hinges. The heartbroken intern disappeared down the hall, leaving behind a remorseful and dejected Addison.

For the next two days, Meredith kept her distance from Addison. The attending knew better than to request her from Bailey and Meredith chose to volunteer herself for the pit to avoid any accidental assigning to the neonatal surgeon. She simply refused to work with her. In fact, whenever she happened to cross paths with her, she averted her eyes quickly, pretending not to see her and went on her way.

Meredith was afraid that if she even glanced into her jade eyes, she would come apart at the seams. And that was the last thing she needed.

Addison had tried to approach her in the past days to get her to talk or to explain herself; Meredith didn't know exactly what for. Was there anything else to be said? According to Meredith, the infuriating woman had made her choice. Their paths were no longer together. What was there to even talk about?

The more Addison tried, the further the lengths Meredith went to avoid her. She constantly came up with things to do at work so that she could have an excuse to dodge her.

Until Addison decided to stop by Meredith's house. She had been blocked by an apologetic Lexie who had informed her that her sister and roommate hadn't been home at the moment. Addison had seen right through the lie. When she had pointed at Meredith's car, effectively calling out her lie, Lexie had explained in a quiet voice that Meredith had locked herself in her room and had asked not to be disturbed.

Addison had tried to convince Lexie to let her in, but Lexie had begged her to understand why she couldn't. It hadn't been because the supportive woman was afraid of Meredith as Addison initially thought.

Lexie had pulled her outside, closed the door behind them and sat her at the bench on their porch. They had sat there like friends, even though the young woman barely even knew anything about her attending, to discuss the whole mess. Lexie had shared her worries about her sister and explained how much Addison had changed her life in the past few weeks. Even though Meredith hadn't said anything until the night before, Lexie had noticed that something was going on between the mentor and the student.

Maybe it wasn't her place to do so but she had ended up confessing how broken Meredith looked despite her putting on a mask to hide it whenever she was around people. She had tried to make Addison understand why Meredith didn't want to see her right now and why the inconsiderate decision Addison had made, had hurt her sister so much. Finally she had pleaded with Addison to give Meredith some time to process through her feelings and maybe she would approach her on her own. When Addison informed her that she was leaving in two days, the young woman knew she needed to do something. Even if it meant ruining her already fragile relationship with her sister.

So that's exactly what she did.

It took some time planning, arranging a meeting and bringing Izzie and Cristina up to speed.

That evening, the day Addison was leaving Seattle behind, the three interns camped in Meredith's living room and waited patiently for their friend's return. The moment she walked in with a bottle

of tequila in hand, Lexie dragged her to the living room. Despite her protests, the moment Lexie eyed her with those puppy eyes of hers, Meredith quieted down.

"What do you think you are doing?" Cristina huffed at her.

"What am I doing? I am getting ready to get shitfaced by drinking tequila shots for the entire night. I have tomorrow off." She shrugged without a care in the world.

"And you are just gonna let her leave like that?" Lexie asked, staring hard at Meredith with her arms crossed in front of her chest.

"This is none of your business." Meredith scoffed and took a seat on the couch anyway. She eyed each one of them in annoyance. They hadn't even let her take her coat off. "Just because I let you stay here, doesn't mean you get to dictate my life or poke your nose into my business." She bit at her younger sister. "And you?" She turned a sharp gaze at Cristina. "What the hell did she say to get in your head? I get Izzie, being the romantic one and all that, but you?"

Cristina shook her head, not affected by Meredith's intimidation technique in the slightest. "She is right, Mer. I wouldn't be here if she wasn't. You know that."

"And what do you want me to do, then?" Meredith groaned. "Chase after her? Beg her not to leave? She chose to leave. She didn't choose me. Why would I even try?"

"Because if you don't, there will come a time that you will regret it." Lexie simply stated.

Meredith snorted and went to stand up but Cristina pushed her back on the couch again. "I've seen you moping every day for the past week. You know, I am not the person to do this kind of crap and what not, but I am your person." Cristina stood in front of her, blocking her getaway. "If you want to mop around and let her leave that's fine. I'll support you while you do that. But if there is even one cell in your body telling you not to let her leave, you owe it to yourself to at least try to fight for her. Say the word and I'll support you either way."

Meredith looked at Cristina towering over her. They were staring hard at each other waiting to see who would back out first. "I am tired of fighting for people who won't fight for me." It was the most honest answer she had given in a week. Or, at least, she thought it was.

"That's a lie, Meredith. You are a fighter. You fight for what you believe and you fight for what you want. Don't even try to deny it. Right now, Addison is possibly making the biggest mistake of her life but she is doing it because she thinks it's the best choice for you." At Meredith's doubtful look, Cristina patted her own stomach. "Gut feeling, remember?" Meredith rolled her eyes but it didn't deter Cristina. "If you don't want her to leave, fight to show her that. Don't give up."

Lexie took a step closer. "You've been avoiding her for two days but I was working with her. She is as miserable as you are, Meredith. If she wasn't in love with you, she wouldn't be as depressed. She wouldn't even care."

She didn't want Addison to leave. She couldn't stand even thinking about it, but at the same time, she couldn't force herself to say it out loud. If she did, it would leave herself so vulnerable. There was not going back. That was why she had bought that tequila bottle anyway. She was planning to get shitfaced and forget that Addison was leaving that night. She had let Addison crack her unbreakable-until-now armor and she was already putting the pieces back over the bleeding and buttered skin to let it heal in peace. But covering up open wounds without cleaning them properly, could lead to a really bad infection. The little voice of the surgeon inside her warned her. And apparently that little voice was drunk because what kind of crappy metaphor was that?

Izzie, who up until now Meredith thought was brought in just to look innocent and sad and make her feel guilty with her sad doe-like eyes, spoke up. "She is leaving, Meredith. Don't let her leave. You've both been the happiest I've ever seen you ever since you got together." Meredith blinked at that. Had Izzie known this whole time?

Meredith tilted her head so she could look past Cristina's body and right at Izzie. "Even if you don't want to beg her or ask her to stay, you need to have closure." She continued. At that point, Meredith found all of their voices fucking annoying. But deep down she knew they were right.

"You might not see her again." Lexie spoke up from her right. "Ever."

Meredith took turns looking at all of them separately. She hated when she was wrong and the others were right. With a groan she fell back on the couch. "I hate you. I should kick you two out as punishment." She pointed a finger at Lexie and Izzie.

"What about Cristina?"

"She is my person. She gets a free pass." Cristina smirked, offering Meredith a hand to pull her up.

"Hurry up and get your girl." She dragged her all the way to the door and pushed her car keys in her hand. "If you miss her, I'll shove you in a plane and send you straight to LA." Cristina threatened her when she pushed Meredith out of the door.

"I hate it when you are right." Meredith murmured.

"I know. It must suck for you because I am always right." Cristina called out in a sing-song voice and smirked when Meredith poked her tongue out at her.

Lexie and Izzie came to the door as Meredith pulled out of the driveway. "What if she doesn't stay?" The worry was too distinct in Izzie's voice. Lexie looked at her a bit worried herself.

Cristina smirked and shook her head. "She isn't going to stay away for long. Those two are meant to be together. Just like little Grey and McSteamy." Lexie blushed at that. "What? You thought you were being subtle?"

"How can you be sure?" Izzie asked.

"Have you met me yesterday? Bailey trained me. I inherited her ability to know everything!" Cristina rolled her eyes. "I have a night shift tonight. Let me know how it went." Cristina called out as she made her way to her motorcycle. "See ya, losers."

Meredith drove as fast as she could, afraid that she was going to miss Addison's departure. She should have taken a cab to the hotel. The nightmare of finding a parking space was torture. Meredith was running out of time.

Four blocks away from the hotel. That's how far away she had managed to park the car.

And then she ran towards the hotel, wondering why she hadn't used the hotel's parking lot in the first place.

She was breaking into a sweat now. Her leg muscles ached. Her feet hurt but she didn't dare to stop. She couldn't even remember the last time she had exercised, but that was not the point at that time.

The point was that she was two blocks away from the hotel now. She could see it from where she was standing. That's how close she was.

Only thing left to do was cross the street and run for two more blocks. And then she would try with her entire soul to convince Addison to stay. She was going to list every reason why Addison couldn't leave. Addison was stubborn but she was nothing compared to Meredith, who was the most stubborn but also the most determined. She was Meredith Grey and she was a fighter.

Unfortunately, her thoughts and plans had consumed her entirely. Her mind was too wrapped into her peptalk to notice the car that was coming her way when she stepped off the pavement.

One moment Meredith was crossing the street and the next she found herself sprawled on her back across the asphalt, her body screaming in blinding pain. The left side of her face had felt as if it was on fire after its collision with the asphalt. Her entire right side throbbed and ached. Her vision was too blurry to identify anything besides colors and shapes.

There was so much noise around her and yet she couldn't focus on it, on them. Not even when they tried to keep her still.

Meredith had a goal. She couldn't let the pain stop her now; not when she was so close.

So she tried to fight against the hands pushing her down. Her blurry gaze turned towards the hotel in desperation. She didn't even know how long she was lying on the ground but she didn't care.

Please. Let me go. I need to get to her. She chanted in her mind, unable to say it out loud.

The gentle but firm hands didn't stop. They secured her in the gurney while she fought them off,

trying to get free. Their gentle but strict voices begged her to stay still so they could help her. But Meredith had a goal. If she didn't get to Addison in time, she would leave her forever.

No matter how hard she tried to break away from them, the hands didn't let her. Her legs weren't cooperating, the adrenaline was dying down and her pain overpowered her until the darkness relieved her from her panic. When she drifted away, she finally found some peace from her urgent and depressing thoughts.

It was a familiar feeling, like an old friend knowing exactly how to comfort you. Chapter End Notes

Don't come after me, please! What do you think?

Chapter Notes

Blame it on me

Helloooo? Are you still here? ...

Really?

Well I am sorry for leaving you in a cliffhanger! (I really wanted to do it) xD Thank you for still reading this 3

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Addison received the phone call minutes before arriving in Portland, where she was planning to spend the night. It was some time after midnight when Lexie called her with the news of Meredith's accident and upon hearing it she almost drove the car off the road as her first instinct was to freeze in fear. Thankfully she managed to pull herself together in time to stop at the emergency lane before she also got herself into an accident, and then proceeded to bombard Lexie with a thousand questions.

According to the younger Grey, Meredith had been in surgery for three hours already. She was completely out when she had been brought in. From a quick CT scan and a quick exam, they concluded that her face had multiple lacerations on one side and her left arm had been broken, two ribs on her right side had been fractured, but what concerned them the most was the intracranial hemorrhage and the liver lacerations.

Lexie had assured her that everyone was working very hard to make sure that Meredith was returning to them safe and sound. At that point, Addison didn't know if Lexie was trying to reassure her or herself. The fear in her voice made Addison tremble with worry.

It didn't take long for Addison to realize that Meredith was involved in that accident a few minutes before she left Seattle. When she asked Lexie where Meredith was going, the young woman hesitated. And that was when Addison knew for certain. Her blood froze and she could barely contain her tears. She didn't waste any time to put the blame on herself. She was trying to protect her by leaving and she had ended up hurting her even worse; Mentally and physically.

A few doubts about moving to LA had surfaced before leaving but when Meredith hadn't tried to interfere with her decision again, she thought it would be better this way. So she had gritted her teeth and left.

And now; now all she wanted to do was run back to her, wrap her arms around her tightly and will her back to safety. All it took was the fear of losing her forever to realize that she couldn't live without her at all. She couldn't breathe without her. She had been a gigantic idiot and Meredith had paid the price. What kind of world would it be, if it didn't contain Meredith's darkness, her brilliance or her twisted softness? She could barely wrap her mind around what was happening, but she couldn't picture herself in a world where Meredith didn't exist anymore.

Before Lexie even begged her to return, Addison had already turned the car around, finding the nearest exit and flying down the highway towards Seattle.

"I am on my way. Lexie, she better not die on me, I'll fucking kill her. You tell her that." were her last words to Lexie.

"I'll pass on the message. Hurry, Addison." The plea in her voice hadn't made it any easier. "But drive carefully." The young intern had added it as an afterthought.

Addison arrived at the hospital very early in the morning. Her body was sore from driving for almost six hours without a break. As soon as she stepped out of her car, she stumbled and leaned against her door. She turned her eyes to the moody dark sky. The sun was barely starting to rise but the dark gray clouds prevented the soft light from brightening Seattle. It was ironic how perfectly the moody clouds reflected her feelings; all the pain she felt, all the guilt and regret; the blood freezing fear. Then she thought of Meredith again, her dark and twisted girl lying on a hospital bed, holding on for dear life. Well, she could only assume. Lexie had called only once, informing her that they were done with the surgery.

A soft breeze caressed her face like a lover during a romantic night, like a loved one consoling their soulmate. Just how Meredith had brushed away her tears that day in the supply room. Would she even feel that soft warm caress again?

God... Stop. She is not dead.

She was still alive. She had to be. Meredith wouldn't abandon her.

No, but I abandoned her, didn't I?

Meredith had talked to her about her abandonment and trust issues. She had done what Meredith was mostly afraid of by also taking her choice away. What a fucking idiot she was...

Why had she fled like that? Why hadn't she thought about that before? Because she was trying to save Meredith from the mess she was. And like always she had managed to make things worse.

The darkness surrounded her at an alarmingly fast pace. Her memories drifted back to the time she stumbled upon a blue and dying Meredith and the fear gripped at her entire being. She couldn't go through that again. One time was enough. Hell it was more than one time, wasn't it? Meredith Grey was prone to dangerous decisions and situations. She kept putting herself in these situations as if it was no big deal. She had placed her hand on a freaking bomb for crying out loud.

Addison gripped the car door tighter when a very sudden and very broken sob surfaced from deep inside her chest. "Stop it. You have to get your shit together." She scolded herself. Addison gritted her teeth and inhaled deeply trying to stop herself from hyperventilating. She walked towards the hospital with determination, one hand held against her chest to regulate her breathing.

The moment she set foot inside the lobby it was like a switch had flipped and she tore down the hallways, barely even noticing the familiar faces she passed by in her hurry. When she passed by the OR floor, she was out of breath. Alex had just finished scrubbing out of a surgery when Addison almost collided with him.

"Didn't you leave?" He raised an eyebrow when his eyes landed on her.

Addison noticed the worry in his eyes. Alex always acted so tough but she could see that he was worried about Meredith even when he acted so indifferent. Instead of answering him though, she glared at him. "Where is she, Karev?"

"Who?"

"Meredith, goddammit. Where is she?" She growled. She cursed herself for not asking Lexie for her phone number.

"ICU. She is stable for now. They finished the surgery an hour ago." He added as an afterthought. "The first 12 hours will be critical. If she wakes up-" Addison's breath hitched at that and Alex quickly corrected himself. "When she wakes up, we will be more certain for a quick recovery. That's what Izzie told us when she came for an update."

Addison nodded, barely keeping herself from breaking down again. Lexie had told her all that

already. Honestly, she was praying for more good news. She lowered her head and turned to head to the ICU.

"Doctor Montgomery." Alex called after her. She stopped and turned to look at him in confusion. "She will be alright. Meredith. She is a fighter. Not to mention that she has me convinced that she is immortal." He tried to joke, probably in an attempt to ease Addison's worries.

Addison nodded with a sad smile, proving again that she was right. He wasn't as heartless as he pretended to be. "She is stubborn, isn't she?" She muttered. Alex came by her side and placed a hand on her shoulder. "She is the most stubborn person I've ever met." He offered and frankly Addison felt some relief hearing that.

"Thanks, Karev."

He nodded with a supportive smile. Addison turned around again and headed for the ICU, not sure how long her feet were going to carry her.

When she was nearing Meredith's room, Addison noticed all the people scattered outside, waiting. Bailey was there huffing and puffing. Richard stared through the glass doors at the woman that had practically become his daughter. Izzie and George sat together on the floor, with the former resting her head on the latter's shoulder.

Mark was there hovering worried for Meredith, but mostly for Lexie too. Addison was no fool. She had noticed the lingering looks and affectionate touches between Mark and little Grey, even though Mark hadn't said anything to her. And she was happy for him.

Derek was also there, leaning against a far wall. As soon as he laid eyes on her he looked away. Addison narrowed her eyes at that. For someone who had broken it off with Meredith and had tried to convince Addison that he didn't care, lurking outside of her room and avoiding his ex-wife's look seemed suspicious. After several years married to him, Addison knew how to read his guilt.

But Derek was the least of her concerns. As she got closer, she was able to glance inside the room. Cristina and Lexie were sitting on chairs on each side of the bed, with Meredith lying there motionless hooked to a bunch of machines. She almost broke down at the sight of the tube in her mouth.

She didn't even know how long she stood there staring at the woman she was in love with, she

hadn't even noticed the silent tears falling down her cheek; not until a hand was placed on her shoulder, squeezing it gently. She turned to look behind her.

"Hey." Callie smiled at her. "You came back."

"Hi." She mirrored the smile and turned to look back at Meredith. She didn't even notice when the others turned to look at her in surprise. Apparently besides Derek nobody else had noticed her, standing there. "How could I not, Callie?" She whispered. A slender hand was placed against the glass. The cold that seeped through her skin managed to center her a little, enough for the urge to punch through the glance to go away.

"You love her." Callie concluded.

"Of course I do, Cal." Callie nodded and placed a hand on her rigid back.

"She loves you too. She asked for you, you know. Before the anesthesia, she woke up for a few seconds and asked for you."

"I fucked up."

"No, you didn't. This isn't your fault." Addison huffed like she didn't believe her. She gently pushed her towards the glass doors. "Go to her. It might help if she hears your voice."

Addison walked inside, carrying herself on trembling knees. Her high heels clicking against the floor drew Cristina's and Lexie's attention. The moment Cristina saw her, her eyebrows shot up. Addison waited for the accusations but to her surprise, they never came. Cristina nodded at her coldly, detached. Lexie offered her a sad smile, her eyes were bloodshot, just like Addison's.

Addison walked closer to the bed and looked down at her beautiful girl. Half her face was bandaged up but she could see how pale she was.

"Meredith..." She whispered, reaching out with her trembling hand. She touched her uninjured cheek with great care and smiled softly. "Sweetheart, you have to wake up."

The young woman didn't stir or open her eyes. Addison knew it was a long shot but she wasn't giving up. "I will not lose you, okay? I promise you, I am not going anywhere. Just wake up." She leaned in and carefully kissed her forehead. "Please come back to me. Leaving you was the stupidest thing I have ever done in my life." The sob that shot up her throat echoed in the room. She didn't even care that Lexie and Cristina were present. She just wanted to see those blue-green eyes look back at her.

Meredith didn't wake up. She was heavily sedated, probably loaded with morphine for the pain. Being a doctor, Addison should understand that but at the same time it didn't mean that she was planning on stopping. She was determined to sit there and talk to her until she woke up, sleep be damned.

At some point during the morning, Lexie and Cristina had to leave to return to their shifts, leaving Addison alone with Meredith. She dragged one of the chairs as close to the bed as she could and curled up on it. She clutched onto Meredith's uninjured hand and barely moved a muscle again.

A few people stopped by to check on Meredith, nurses, friends... Addison never took her eyes away from the sleeping woman. She felt frozen in time, helpless and terrified. She hadn't even noticed when the night covered Seattle again. And nobody had bothered her since.

When someone pressed a cold water bottle in her hands she finally glanced at the newcomer. Cristina looked at her with that judging stare of hers.

Addison opened her mouth to speak but Cristina cut her off in an instant.

"If you say that it was your fault, I'll hit you." How did she even know? But most importantly,

shouldn't she think the same?

"I wasn't going to." Her eyes shifted away from Meredith's person.

"Don't lie to me." Cristina rolled her eyes. She dragged the other chair closer and took a seat. A few silent seconds ticked by until Cristina decided to speak up again. "Have you eaten anything all day?"

At Addison's headshake, Cristina huffed. "You need to eat something. I can't have you collapsing when Meredith comes to."

Addison brushed her thumb over Meredith's knuckles and glanced at her beautiful but battered face. "You think she will?"

"I know she will. She wouldn't leave us like that."

"Like I left her." Addison muttered, almost completing Cristina's thought.

Cristina tilted her head. "Why did you? Leave I mean. I saw you two together. I've never seen you or her that happy before. You clearly love her and I know for a fact that she loves you, so what happened there?"

Addison sighed, running her free hand over her face. God, she felt so tired. "I've destroyed all of my past relationships. Every single one. I didn't want Meredith to suffer like that." She shrugged as she started playing with the label from the water bottle. "I didn't want to hurt her like that."

"And instead you hurt her in a completely different way. And maybe one that was worse than what you were trying to protect her from." Cristina acknowledged.

Addison nodded. "I didn't realize it at the time. That I was doing to her what everyone else had done, I mean." She squeezed Meredith's hand. "And that's why she needs to wake up now. I have to show her how wrong I was and that I am not gonna leave her side again. I have to show her how much she means to me." The more Meredith remained in that comatose state, the tighter the grip around Addison's heart was becoming.

"I am gonna prove him wrong. I will prove Derek wrong. She is my everything and I will be by her side for as long as she wants me to be." Addison stood up and leaned over Meredith. "You hear me? Wake up so I can tell you that I am here and I am not going anywhere." She rested her forehead against Meredith's as careful not to disturb her bandages as ever.

Cristina frowned and crossed her arms in front of her chest. "Hold on and back up. What does Derek have to do with this?"

Addison brushed her fingers through Meredith's blonde tresses, barely hearing Cristina. "Hmm?" "Derek. You mentioned him. Why?"

Addison pulled back and turned to look at the other woman. "I talked to him a few weeks ago. I know we are divorced and all that but I thought it would be better if he found out about my relationship with Meredith from me instead of the hospital's rumor mill." Addison immediately noticed the thoughtful look that had crossed Cristina's features.

"And what did he say?"

"Surprisingly, he took it better than I thought he would. Derek used to be my best friend before everything." The slight guilt crossed Addison's face. "I thought that when I told him about Meredith, I would hurt him more than when I cheated on him. But he assured me that he didn't have feelings for her and he was actually glad I was happy."

"Hmm." Cristina simply nodded at that. She seemed to be thinking deeply about something but didn't share her thoughts with Addison.

Cristina knew that it was a lie the moment she heard it. She knew for a fact that Derek was lying about his feelings for Meredith but she couldn't exactly share that with Addison until she got to the bottom of it.

"Why are you asking me about Derek?"

"Don't worry about that. Did you two talk about anything else?" Did they?

Well Addison vaguely recalled that they discussed their flaws that eventually led them to the end of their relationship in New York; how they were both usually running away from their problems, about Addison's trust issues, their commitment problems... The list was going on and on. Warning bells were starting to ring inside her head as she retraced the conversation and shared it with Cristina.

"I knew it." She exclaimed, making Addison jump startled in the process.

"Yang! What the hell?" Addison placed a hand over her heart, feeling it ready to pop out of her

chest.

"That slimy asshole..."

Addison frowned. "What's with the name calling?"

"Doctor Montgomery, I know you are brilliant and an amazing surgeon-"

"I sense a but in there."

"But you are as daft as you can be sometimes."

"What?" Addison scoffed and watched in annoyance as Cristina rolled her eyes at her.

"McAss was never okay with your relationship with Meredith... Nor had he stopped having feelings for her." Cristina was waving her hands, emphasizing every word as if she had cracked the biggest mystery of the world.

"McAss? Cristina, what-"

"He's been filling your head with doubts about this relationship and your own feelings for Meredith since you told him."

Addison shook her head and laughed at the preposterous things Cristina was spewing. That was absurd.

"He would never do that, Yang. You are exaggerating. Isn't he dating that nurse?"

Cristina was fighting tooth and nail not to hit Addison over the head. Hard. "The first thing he did since you announced that you were leaving, was to ask Meredith out. Twice. He kept chasing her around the hospital during the time she avoided you like the plague. Drove her a bit insane to be honest. Does that sound like someone who feels nothing for her?"

Addison stared at Cristina. Frozen. Had she been so blind? Sure, she had her doubts and was worrying a lot about betraying Meredith and making her miserable like she had done with Derek, but had it been his doing, all along? Had he been working against her this whole time?

"I need to talk to him." She pushed away from the bed and squeezed Meredith's hand one last time. "I'll be back." She whispered in case Meredith was actually listening. "Will you-"

"Stay? Yeah. I'll be here until you return." Cristina nodded.

"Thank you." Addison tightened her fists on her sides, gritted her teeth and went to find Derek with a determined look on her face, like a woman on a mission.

It didn't take long for Addison to find Derek cowering in his office with the drapes closed. She forced herself in, not even caring to knock first.

His eyes had widened at her entrance and his face morphed in anger. "What the hell, Addison? What is the meaning of this?"

Addison closed the gap between them as she came to stand in front of his desk, using it as the only thing saving Derek from herself. "Don't you dare, Derek Shepherd. Don't you dare pretend to be shocked." The more she saw him looking back at her all innocent, the angrier she got.

"I know you are scared for Meredith and all but I don't understand why you've been taking it out on me, Addie."

"Do not call me that again, Derek, because I swear to God, I will kill you and I will make it look like an accident." She glared at him so hard, she swore she saw Derek flinch as if she had burnt him.

"Addison-"

"Shut up." She practically screamed at him, forgetting for a moment that they were currently in a hospital. "Listen well, Shepherd. This thing between me and Meredith, it was a shitty thing to do to you, I admit it. But we weren't trying to hurt you. Meredith told me that you two had broken it off

and she was telling me the truth. I asked you. I asked you, if you had feelings for her and you told me no- '' Derek opened his mouth to interrupt her but Addison slammed her fist on the desk with so much force that she could swear that she could have broken a few bones. "Don't you dare interrupt me."

He immediately snapped his mouth shut. Addison could detect some fear in his eyes. In any other circumstance she would smirk amused at that. He knew not to mess with an outraged Addison. "You told me you didn't feel anything for her. To make things clear, I wouldn't be able to stop pursuing her if you told me you still had feelings for her, because you can't help who you fall in love with. But, I wouldn't be able to be mad at you, for the same exact reason. But I would let her decide at least." She was trying really hard not to throw his entire desk at him. "Instead, you did something far worse, like the coward you are. You manipulated me, using my own insecurities against me and helped me hurt her deeply."

"You can't be blaming all this on me. It was bound to happen eventually..."

"What was bound to happen? Leave her? I am not the one running away with his tail between his legs." She scoffed at his accusations. "And no, I am not blaming all this on you, Derek. I am not an asshole. I know it's mostly my fault. They were all my decisions. It was me who hurt her. It was me who made her chase after me. I might as well be the one driving the car that hit her." Addison could feel the tears coming before they started to obstruct her vision. She could feel the sob bubbling up her chest but she managed to stifle it back down. She wasn't going to give Derek the satisfaction. "But before our conversation that day, I hadn't thought once about running away. I hadn't thought once that I might not be good enough for her. You made sure to remind me though."

Derek smirked a little and the arrogance in his eyes told Addison exactly how much of an asshole he was. "Can I help it if that's the truth?"

Addison saw red. She grabbed the name plate from his desk and hurled it at him. Derek, who didn't see such a violent outburst coming, cried out in pain when the plate collided with his face. "Are you crazy?"

Addison, completely unfazed, glared at him harder. "If Meredith di-" the word caught in her throat. "If she doesn't make it Derek, I'll become your worst enemy, your worst nightmare. And that's a promise. You better learn to sleep with one eye open."

Those were her final words to her ex-husband.

Not giving him a chance to rebut, Addison turned her back to him and exited his office, slamming the door on her way out. She saw the stares on her way back but at that moment, all she wanted to do was go back to Meredith and hold her until she woke up.

Chapter End Notes

Only one chapter left! 3

How did you like the Derek bashing? I do enjoy it at times.

Poor Addie blaming herself...

Okay I didn't want her to take all the blame and Derek is an asshole, so there we go... I do adore a supporting Lexie, Callie and Cristina though!

Chapter Notes

I want to stay with you

Hello helloooo! I am back with the last chapter and the epilogue in a few minutes. Give me a chance to post them both and then feel free to read and hopefully review!! I am actually happy how this turned out and I am hoping that you enjoyed it as much as I did!

Thank you for staying until the end and a special thanks to everyone who took the time to leave a comment!

See the end of the chapter for more notes

Numb. Foggy. Disoriented.

These were all things Meredith felt when she started to come around. She didn't know where she was. Her eyes felt heavy. So heavy. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't open them. She couldn't even move her fingers. It was terrifying.

Even breathing felt too difficult. There was a heaviness on her abdomen and a throbbing in her head.

I am not going anywhere. Please come back to me.

Who said that? Was that Addison? Was Addison there?

Sweetheart, you have to wake up.

"I am trying, Addie. Please don't go." Meredith called out blindingly but there was no sound coming out of her mouth. If she didn't answer to Addie, she would leave and Meredith didn't want her to leave. She tried to call out louder and louder but there was only deafening silence.

She tried to open her eyes again; to look, to make sure that Addison was there with her. But it was all in vain.

Her voice. She tried to cling onto her voice but she felt her mind slipping out of her reach again. No matter how hard she tried to hold on to that beautiful voice, to that soft touch against her cheek, she couldn't. The darkness was swallowing her whole and Meredith felt like she was drowning in it.

Darkness covered everything in her fuzzy brain and sleep pulled her under. Exhaustion had won.

The next time Meredith woke up it was in a full blown panic attack. She couldn't hear Addison's voice this time, she couldn't feel her touch. Had she imagined that the woman she was in love with had returned for her? That she was there urging her to wake up?

With all the willpower she had left, she forced her eyes open. The bright lights of the hospital hurt her eyes, sending a flash of pain through her brain. Meredith endured it as best as she could. She had to know if Addison was there or if it had been just a dream. As soon as her eyes got used to the brightness, she looked around.

Her eyes landed on the sole person in the room; the one who was currently staring at her lap in thought. Her person, her Cristina, her best friend was there waiting for her to wake up. A smile started to bloom on her lips. At least she mattered to one person. The bandages on her face pulled at her skin but the rest of her body was buzzing from all the medication that was running through her veins. Before she had a chance to assess the rest of her injuries, she realized that Addison was not in the room.

Addison wasn't there. She had left after all and Meredith hadn't managed to stop her. She could barely remember what happened but she was aware of how close she had been in stopping her. The urge to find her and bring her back was bigger than anything Meredith was feeling; bigger than the fuzzy pain, bigger than the numbing fear. All of it led her to act irrationally as she started to pull the tube from her mouth trying to get it out.

Cristina was on her immediately, trying to keep her still and keep her down. "Meredith, stop!" She tried sternly but Meredith wasn't listening. "Stop it, damn it. You are going to hurt yourself worse." Cristina called out for help, grabbing at Meredith's wrists and holding her down as a few frustrating tears escaped the injured woman.

Two nurses came in, taking over from Cristina and keeping Meredith down. "Stop moving so I can at least remove the tube before you can cause any irreparable damage!"

Cristina's strict voice managed to do the trick and Meredith finally stilled, allowing her bossy

friend to remove the tube. As soon as the tube was removed, the nurses pulled back hesitantly, afraid that Meredith was suddenly gonna jump out of the bed. Which wasn't all that extravagant to think about.

"Take it all out, Cristina." Meredith glared at her person. Her throat was in such pain as if she had swallowed a handful of nails. With every word she spoke, with every swallow, it felt as if the nails were scratching her skin from the inside, drawing blood in the process. "All of it." A coughing fit shook her entire body, making it scream with pain at last. All the thrashing she had done had aggravated her injuries but, thankfully, the stitches had remained intact. That was when she finally noticed the cast around her arm, felt the ache in her ribs and the dizziness in her brain.

"I cannot do that, Mer. You are badly injured. You have a broken arm, fractured ribs and are recovering from a brain and liver surgery so you need to take it easy and heal. You gave us quite the scare. If you had died..." Cristina placed two hands on Meredith's face, one over the bandages and the other over her still pale cheek, carefully enough as if she would break.

"I am fine, Cristina. I am here. I didn't die." Meredith smiled at her best friend. "See? I am breathing and I am ready to get out of bed already."

The brunette's audible scoff matched her eye roll perfectly."I swear, it's like you are putting yourself in all these dangerous situations just to spite us."

Meredith chuckled and regretted it immediately when her ribs screamed in pain. "I didn't plan it." She coughed again. Cristina turned to one of the nurses and asked her for some water for her friend. "Are you in any pain?" Before Meredith answered, Cristina moved to check the medicine they had chosen to manage the pain.

"I am but I don't want an increase in dosage. It's not morphine, is it?" Meredith gripped Cristina's wrist. "I have to be lucid when I go to Addison. I have to talk to her. To get her to come back, Cristina." Meredith pleaded with her friend, in her way asking her to help her. "I was right there. Ready to stop her from leaving. Only a few feet away from her hotel." Her eyes filled with tears.

While Meredith started her rant about Addison, the nurse walked in with the water. Cristina helped Meredith up and moved the straw closer to her friend's mouth.

"Meredith, Addison is-"

"Gone. I lost her, Cristina." Meredith pushed the cup away after barely a tiny sip. "She slipped right through my fingers."

If Meredith wasn't all bandaged up and hurt, Cristina would have hit her upside the head for constantly interrupting her. Instead she ignored her and turned to the nurse. "Call Dr. Montgomery please." The nurse nodded and rushed out of the room.

Meredith rolled her eyes at Cristina's request. "Call her and tell her what? You are gonna worry her for no reason."

"What? Meredith-"

"No, Cristina. I don't want her to worry." A small disappointed gasp escaped the blonde. "What if she doesn't care? Maybe that's why she left in the first place."

Cristina could practically see the dark cloud forming over Meredith's head. At this point her person was only going to drive herself crazy. "Will you shut up and let me finish a goddamn sentence already?" She barely held back the urge to tear her hair out.

Meredith flinched but shut her mouth.

"Addison is-" Cristina was interrupted once again, by the woman in question this time.

"Meredith!" The surprised exclamation from the door and the hurried clicking of heels from the doorway drew Meredith's attention away from Cristina.

"Here." Cristina murmured as she watched amused how Meredith registered Addison's presence and how her face twisted in utter shock.

Addison stopped a few inches away, looking Meredith up and down and checking to make sure that everything was okay.

"Addison." Came Meredith's breathless response.

"Oh sweetheart. You are awake. Are you okay?" She shook her head at her own idiotic question. "Of course you are not okay. What am I saying? You were in a horrible accident. Are you in pain? Do you need anything? What can I do?" Addison seemed to be on a roll but all Meredith could do was stare and smile stupidly at her. Her heart was reaching out to the anxious redhead that was fussing over her.

"I am fine, Addison."

Addison looked at her in disbelief, her eyes shining with tears. "You are fine?" At Meredith's affirmative nod and big blue eyes staring innocently at her, something snapped inside Addison. "This is fine? This is not fine, Meredith. I can't leave you alone for one second without getting in trouble! What the hell were you thinking?"

Meredith gazed at Addison with the brightest smile on her face; not even batting an eyelash at Addison's outburst.

Addison, who noticed the dreamy look on her girlfriend's, ex-girlfriend's -even she didn't know- face, frowned. "What the hell are you smiling at? You think this is funny?"

"You are here." Meredith said.

Addison rolled her eyes at that. "Of course I am here. Where would I be? You died! You almost died again!" The breath of relief that slipped past her lips suddenly eased all the tension from her body. Meredith was going to be okay. Addison leaned in and pressed her lips against Meredith's forehead. "You are going to be okay." She smiled.

Meredith's good arm shot up quickly and wrapped around Addison's shoulders, ignoring the burn in her ribs and the slight stretch of the stitches on her upper abdomen. Thankfully, the other woman reacted quickly and balanced her weight accordingly, saving Meredith from some crushing and more pain. "Easy, sweetheart."

"Shut up! I woke up and you weren't here. I thought I lost you." Meredith mumbled in her ear. At that point, neither woman noticed Cristina and the nurses slipping out of the room quietly. "I am entitled to all the hugs and kisses I want. And if that means crushing me, well so be it." Meredith mumbled, somehow managing to maneuver herself and bury her face in Addison's neck.

"Whatever my darling girl needs." Addison said, chuckling. She came to rest beside Meredith, careful of the cables, her IV and her injuries. "How's that?"

"That's good." Meredith nodded in approval. "If I didn't have the cast, it would be better though."

Addison smiled looking down at Meredith with affection. "You will be more comfortable once you are out of ICU and you heal a little more."

The blonde leaned her head against Addison carefully and closed her eyes. Addison felt her nod against her collarbone in agreement and smiled.

God, she is okay. She is okay.

She chanted in her mind.

After a few minutes of silence, a sleepy mumble reached her ears. She pulled back to glance at her beautiful and intelligent girlfriend. "Hmmm?"

"I am getting sleepy again."

"Then get some sleep, darling. The more you sleep, the better you will feel." Addison advised and made to get up. Meredith's hand shot up and landed on her thigh.

"Please don't leave me."

Addison heard the urgency in her voice and wanted to punch herself in the face for hurting her so much. "I am not going anywhere." She took her hand in her own, brushing a thumb against her wrist.

"You'll be here when I wake up?" "Yes, sweetheart. Get some rest."

Meredith nodded and relaxed against Addison. The neonatal surgeon smiled and decided to close her own eyes for a bit as well, drifting off to sleep mere minutes later.

At the sound of soft footsteps, Addison's eyes fluttered open and locked on the intruder.

Callie stood there wearing an innocent smile on her face. "Sorry. I didn't mean to wake you. I just wanted to check on Meredith."

"It's okay. What time is it?" Addison whispered and refrained from moving too much. She glanced at Meredith but the woman's face was pressed against her collarbone so she couldn't be sure if she had awakened or not.

Callie grabbed Meredith's chart and leafed through it. "It's just a little after 7. Have you slept the whole night?"

Addison tried to think what time she fell asleep last night but she couldn't remember. "I think I must have. My entire body is stiff and sore." She tried to move her muscles around a bit without disrupting Meredith during the process.

"How is she?" Callie nodded towards the sleeping woman. "Any changes overnight?"

"No. I think she slept peacefully for the entire night. But I can't be sure. I was so tired that I don't know if I would have been able to hear her even if she had woken up." Addison took Maredith's uninjured hand in hers. "Were her arm and her ribs okay?"

Callie smiled reassuringly. "Oh yeah. Her arm is going to heal nicely. It will take a while but it will be good as new in a few months. They will probably take her down to a step-down unit today." She informed her and signed on the chart. Putting it back to its place, she turned to look at Addison. The smirk on Callie's lips had the neonatal surgeon looking at her in worry.

"What?"

"I heard you created a scene yesterday." Meredith shifted a little against her, a deep sigh slipping past her lips as she adjusted her position in her embrace. Addison held her breath throughout all of it. It was not a conversation she wanted to have in front of Meredith. She was embarrassed by her outburst last night and she didn't want the woman to see her as this crazy psycho yelling at her ex- husband. When she was certain that the beautiful woman in her arms was still asleep, she decided

to tell Callie everything.

"You have no idea. I saw red when I figured out what had happened, Cal." A small sigh slipped past her lips. "I don't know what came over me but I wanted to hit Derek so hard."

Callie smiled knowingly. "Honey, no one would blame you for breaking his nose."

Addison gasped. "I broke his nose?!"

"Oh yeah. I had to set it straight again. It was fun seeing him squirm in pain." Callie snickered amused even though Addison looked horrified. In all her years on Earth she had never been so violent to anyone before.

"Oh God!" She groaned. Her hand came up to massage a spot on her forehead. She could feel a headache brewing.

"Addie, it's fine. I mean his nose looks like a big eggplant and it will look like that for a while but it will heal. And that might finally bring him down a peg and teach him not to play with people's feelings because of his wants."

Addison tilted her head surprised at Callie's knowledge. Had Cristina told her already? "You know what he did?"

A shrug of the shoulders came from the Latina. "You weren't exactly quiet during the argument. Practically the whole hospital knows what happened."

Seeming to accept it, Addison offered a curt nod. "I will never forgive him or myself for what happened to Meredith, you know." Addison whispered, her hand coming up to brush her fingers through her dirty-blonde hair. "Don't tell me not to." She stopped Callie before she had a chance to interrupt her. "I know I couldn't have known but I abandoned her, Callie, and then she almost died. How am I supposed to not blame myself for it?"

"By not blaming yourself for it." The groggy voice from next to her, made Addison freeze.

"Meredith..."

"You can't blame yourself for what happened to me." Meredith pulled away from Addison so that she would be able to look into her eyes. "Hell, you can't even blame Derek for what happened to me."

"Mer-"

"The only person you can blame is me for not paying attention while crossing the street. That's it." Meredith reached out, her fingertips brushing against Addison's soft skin as she moved to tuck a fiery lock of hair behind her ear. "No one blames you for this. Especially me. If you want to blame yourself or Derek for something, then do so for the unnecessary drama of the past week. One that could have been avoided if you saw yourself the way I see you and not the way he does."

Meredith tried to sit up a bit but Addison stopped her with a hand on her shoulder and a soft "Don't push yourself. You are still healing." The sharp pain in her ribs made Meredith obey but it didn't deter her from her speech.

"You had one or two bad relationships in the past. Who in here hasn't?"

"I'll say." Callie pipped in. When the other two women turned to look at her she raised her hands in surrender and then pointed at the glass doors. "I should go. I'll leave you two to it. Nice aim, Addison. Mer, I am glad to see you awake. I hope you'll feel better soon."

Meredith smiled and nodded and turned back to Addison again. "My point is that you can't let those bad moments define you and you can't let Derek or any Derek tell you what you are and what you are not capable of."

"How do you know what happened with Derek?" Addison blinked confused. She couldn't recall telling her. Did Cristina tell her?

"I heard you and Cristina talking yesterday. At first I thought I was dreaming about it, because I was looking for a reason to make sense of this abrupt change. When I woke up and realized you were not in the room, I figured that I had made up the whole thing." Meredith swallowed.

Addison could see the emotions flickering all over the blonde's face. There was pain and hurt as

she spoke, but also an immense amount of relief and that small smile of hers, the one Addison adored so much. What was surprising though was that Meredith didn't seem angry at her or even disappointed.

"But I heard you and Callie talk about it again so I realized that it wasn't just my wishful thinking. I can't say I am happy with the decision you made but it doesn't mean I don't understand what was going on in your head." Meredith pointed out before suddenly growing silent and avoiding Addison's gaze. "Now that I am going to be okay, are you going to go back to LA?"

The vulnerability made her voice shake. It gripped at Addison's heart and all she wanted to do was hug her tightly and pray for a way to undo the hurt she had caused her. Instead all she could do was place her hand beneath Meredith's chin and turn it towards her, forcing her to look at her when she gave her answer.

"No." It was firm, no hesitation whatsoever. "Unless you want me to. If you don't want me here-" Addison smiled with uncertainty, her fingers slipping from her chin to the back of her neck. "-I will leave. But I really wish you still want me here because I want to stay with you."

Meredith's eyes shone with fresh tears. She might not be able to lift herself upwards while her ribs were recuperating but she could at least pull Addison down by her shirt. "I want you to stay, Addie." She kissed her softly, taking her time with her. Her eyes remained close and yet a tear managed to slip and fall back into her hair.

Addison kissed her back carefully, afraid not to put any weight on her or hurt her in any way. She had missed the taste of her lips, the way they fit together like pieces of the same puzzle. She had missed it all. Her heart fluttered against her chest when Meredith deepened the kiss.

"Break it up." Cristina's whine had Addison pulling back with a shameful grin and Meredith looking at her person annoyed at the interruption. "You will continue to suck face when I move you to your other room." Addison stepped down from the bed and stood to the side, watching as Cristina checked on Meredith's wounds. She was meticulous and remained silent while she examined Meredith.

"You both know how this is going to go. We will take you to the other room and remove all the unnecessary equipment. You will stay hooked only to the heart monitor just to be on the safe side, because you have a tendency to scare us for no good reason,-" Meredith rolled her eyes at that even though Addison nodded completely agreeing with Cristina, "-and you'll keep the IV for the rest of the days you remain here. And no, I don't know how long that's going to be." Cristina leaned close to Meredith and dropped her voice conspiratorially. "I told you she wouldn't stay away for long."

"I can hear you, Dr. Yang."

"Hey, I was just saying."

The three women shared a laugh as the nurses came to move Meredith to the other room.

"Oh Addison, I forgot to ask." Cristina stopped before exiting the room. "Did you actually break Shepherd's nose?"

Addison's eyes widened when everyone turned to look at her. There was a soft blush covering her cheeks. "I might have, yes." She muttered.

Cristina turned to look back at her person with the most satisfying smirk. "She is the one. I approve."

Meredith laughed as Addison shooed Cristina out. Chapter End Notes

Don't forget about the epilogue!!

Chapter Notes

Epilogue

Chapter 8 and the epilogue were posted together so hopefully you didn't miss the previous chapter 3

See the end of the chapter for more notes Two Years Later

Meredith stood in the hall of her house. Their house. A house that was filled with laughter and smiles almost every day. A house that was filled with juju and hugs and tears on the bad days. A house that was currently filled with their family surrounded by Christmas decorations.

Meredith smiled fondly as she looked at the people scattered around the room. The aromas coming from the kitchen were surrounding her with warmth; the turkey in the oven, the gingerbread cookies, the eggnog. Smells that would make anyone feel loved and happy.

She could hear Izzie in the kitchen, laughing with Teddy, Arizona and Mark as they were attempting to finish the preparations for their Christmas dinner. Bailey and Callie were setting up the huge long table on the other side of the room. Lexie was on the floor with little Tuck and little Zola, Meredith's and Addison's adopted daughter, playing near the Christmas tree. Their German Shepherd, who Cristina was calling Derek just to spite them, was lounging in front of the fireplace unbothered by all the voices and the noises. Richard and Adele were sitting on the sofa enjoying their eggnog. And finally, George and Alex were arguing about God knows what in the corner.

The only person that was missing was Addison. And Cristina, who was currently working. Meredith's heart stuttered. Despite the warm environment and all the happy people surrounding her, she was still feeling hollow and sorrowful. She was missing Addison so much and there was nothing she could do about it.

Her eyes fell on the pictures on the wall and she felt her own tearful smile. The first one was a photo of their wedding day. Addison was glowing in her white dress suit with her vibrant smile and her beautiful red hair falling in waves around her shoulders. Meredith, on the other side, stood in front of her wife with the biggest smile on her face clad in a white mermaid dress, her hair elegantly styled to one side of her face. Neither of them were looking at the camera though. They were too busy staring and smiling at each other as if they didn't care about anything else in the world.

Then her eyes turned to the other photo; the other happiest day of her life. The day they adopted their daughter one year ago. The four of them were posing for the camera. Addison was holding Zola in her hands and Meredith was holding their also newly adopted puppy, the four of them stood squeezed together, Addison laughing as Meredith scrunched up her face while the puppy was licking her chin.

She hated Christmas without Addison. Christmas was her wife's favorite holiday. Hell, Meredith had never liked Christmas until Addison came along and won her over with her overexcitement for the holiday. She should be here, celebrating with their friends. Her sad pout was going to bump everyone out but could she help it, if she was missing her wife?

The sudden chill shook her away from her thoughts. Had someone left the door open? "There will be no pouting on Christmas day." A voice whispered, the warm breath tickling her ear.

Meredith whirled around and gasped at the sight of her beautiful wife in a Santa's hat. "Addison!"

"Hello, darling." She chuckled when Meredith threw herself at her. The kiss was soft and lasted a while, and not one of their guests dared to say anything. Meredith had been a menace while Addison was gone and they had all been a bit afraid to even mention it. The only one who dared to interrupt was little Zola and Bruno, the dog that always followed Zola around. The young girl tugged on Addison's pants until the woman looked down at her.

"Mommy, up!" The little girl requested and Addison didn't hesitate to pull the girl up and place her between her and Meredith.

"Hello baby girl." Addison cooed when Zola immediately snuggled against her.

"I thought you had a surgery in Boston tomorrow and you couldn't come." Meredith pointed out confused but wrapped her arms around her girls.

"I rescheduled it for early in the morning today and then caught the first flight here. I couldn't spend Christmas away from my family." Addison explained with the happiest smile on her face.

"Did you take a cab from the airport?"

"No, she didn't." Cristina said from the front door, carrying the luggage behind her. "You could have at least waited for me to park and carry your own things, you know." Cristina whined grumpily as she sat the suitcase by the staircase.

"I am sorry, Cristina." Addison said at the same time as Meredith's exclamation. "Cristina!" "Yeah yeah. I'm here."

"I thought you were working tonight." Meredith wondered out loud.

Cristina shrugged. She removed her coat, hung it and turned back to her favorite family. "Well I obviously lied because someone had to pick up your wife from the airport and clearly I was the lucky one because for some reason she seems to like me very much. I honestly don't know why."

"You love me, Cristina. Stop denying it." Addison smirked.

"Whatever." Cristina barely acknowledged Addison's statement even if deep inside all of them knew it was true and walked towards the liquor.

Meredith and Addison looked back at each other and shared another soft kiss. Zola found the opportunity to wrap her arms around her mothers' necks and giggle. The two women pressed a kiss on each side of the girl's face making her giggle harder. Meredith took the hat from Addison and placed it on Zola's head, making her wife chuckle at the process. Bruno barked at their feet and Addison reached down to scratch him behind the ear.

The couple looked around at their friends, the people who in one way or another had become their family. Arizona had come in from the kitchen and was currently hugging Callie from behind whispering in her ear while Mark had joined Lexie and little Tuck on the floor. Izzie had come to break the argument between the boys and Cristina was nowhere to be found; most likely making googly eyes at Teddy in the kitchen. They shared a look with each other, wearing matching smiles.

"We actually made it, didn't we?" "Yes, my love. We did."

THE END