Disclaimer and thanks: All the usual ones... nothing has changed.
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Not entirely without grace
With Steve completely out of the picture, Shane felt like she had a new lease on life. She was definitely ready to start doing a little stomping now. While she was contemplating where she could start, her musings were interrupted by a shrieking, strident noise that nearly gave her a heart attack. "What's that?" she asked, almost panicking. Norman rolled his eyes and answered matter-of-factly: "It's a phone." Oliver, surprised, looked at it, at first rooted to the ground since nobody ever called this number. But he recovered and soon found himself walking towards it, picking it up and answering with a cheerful 'Oliver O'Toole'. Rita's first thoughts and words were: "What if it's his wife calling from Paris?" Shane was immediately caught in a tangled net of mixed feelings. She wanted it to be his wife, as it certainly would make him happy...maybe? At the same time though, she hated the idea of his wife calling. Could she actually be honest with herself and admit why she hated it? Did she even know why? Why did the idea of his wife coming back into his life bother her so much? After all, he was a dear friend already, was he not? Wouldn't she want to see her dear friend happy? She was still wondering about all these questions when she overheard snippets of the conversation he was having on the phone. Something terrible from the sound of it and something about 'our' Wednesdays… huh? She was obviously curious as to what was meant by 'our Wednesdays'.
After the mysterious phone call, it was obvious Oliver was finding it hard to focus on his work. Eventually he ran out of the office saying he was late for an appointment. Rita mentioned he didn't normally wear cologne for choir practice, so Shane's curiosity was again piqued. When she couldn't take the suspense any more, she suggested the three of them follow Oliver that evening. They all agreed, although Norman wasn't quite sure what exactly he had agreed to do. They felt like teenagers spying on adults, but that's exactly what they were doing. Hiding in the darkness, behind pillars and trees, as they moved along the city streets following him, they saw Oliver stop on a street corner. A most beautiful woman came towards him and hugged him right there on the sidewalk. They were certainly not hiding from anyone. Immediately, Shane, Rita & Norman realised this definitely had been a mistake. They had no right to spy on Oliver and Shane in particular felt very bad about it. They said goodnight to each other and departed quickly. All three were feeling ashamed of themselves. Shane went home feeling not only guilty, but a bit baffled about what she had just seen.
She had so many questions. She had come to admire Oliver for his integrity… among other things. After all, how many men waited patiently and faithfully for their wives to return home after they had abandoned them without any word for years? Was she wrong about him? And if she was, was it any of her business?
She stopped at a Chinese takeout restaurant and ordered some chow mein. She didn't feel like cooking that night. She felt terrible. She knew her curiosity, more often than not, landed her in very hot water and sometimes inadvertently, people got hurt as a result. She suspected this situation would be no different. Her mood worsened when she got home. She couldn't even enjoy her favourite chow mein. It didn't help when she remembered the last time she was sitting right here at this exact same spot eating the exact same food, Steve burst in, ruining her favourite Chinese food, apparently permanently. Next time she ordered Chinese, she decided she was going to have to try something completely different and outrageous for her taste... live dangerously, right? She laughed bitterly. She felt hopeless and the guilt she felt made her want to cry. Wait... was it really guilt or was it disappointment that weighed so heavily against her heart right now? But as hard as this was, first she needed to come to terms with the fact that Oliver wasn't the saint she thought he was. Second, she needed to get to the bottom of why that bothered her so much. The truth of the matter was regardless of whether he was married or having an affair, he was taken by another woman. This made him either permanently or temporarily unavailable. Ultimately it didn't matter. He was unavailable! Period! And that was the material point!
The sting of discovering that he wasn't as squeaky clean as she believed was hurting like an open wound. She was obviously attracted to him. She could no longer deny it, there was no point. In addition, he was becoming a very close friend whom she was starting to rely on. Beyond that however, there was nothing between them and there never would be. She might as well accept that. So, was she annoyed because she felt guilty for spying on him or was she disappointed that the woman he hugged on the street tonight wasn't her? She truly wanted to know but she didn't have a clue. She had just come out of a very bad relationship where she felt like the mistress. Did she really want to start another where she'd be in the same role? She felt completely miserable. She'd like to call her sister, Alex right now. She wanted to unburden her heart to somebody who loved her, someone really close to her who wouldn't judge her. If she knew how to pray, she would bare it all to God right now, but she wasn't sure he actually existed. She felt like calling on him anyway. "God, are you there?" Again she laughed bitterly. She felt so lonely. She started to remember her mum and dad and their love for her. Happy memories from long ago started to pop into her mind as if it was a movie playing out. She hadn't thought about them for so long, it was quite surprising they were the ones to come to mind at a time like this... of loneliness and despair! But the wonderful thing is that she remembered she was loved back then but also now. It felt like a balm. She felt a warmth around her as if strong arms had all of a sudden embraced her and kept her company. Did she believe in angels? It sure felt as if one was there with her right at that moment. A loving presence that took away her fear, her guilt and her loneliness. She could not explain it. However, she had forgotten that she had called upon God at her lowest point. But for tonight enough with the despair, she decided that tomorrow would bring its own trouble. For now she was content to imagine that angels were around her and with this sweet feeling, she'd be able to face whatever came next.
The next day Shane, Rita and Norman agreed to meet for breakfast at the Mailbox Grille to discuss their strategy concerning what transpired the previous night. The best way to get this sorted was not to mention anything to Oliver at all, nor admit to any wrongdoing and deny it at all costs. They agreed the story was going to be they all went their separate ways last night after work, as usual. That was the plan until Oliver joined them. Immediately, all three of them looked incredibly nervous, uncomfortable and most telling, guilty! Oliver picked up on the vibe as soon as he sat down and Rita, sweet little Rita ended up blurting out they had seen him hugging a woman last night on the street corner. Oliver was not happy and he immediately denied having taken a lover. He looked disgusted with the idea and disappointed with his co-workers for secretly spying on him. He explained he had been taking dance lessons. The lady they saw was his dance teacher. She was updating him about his dance partner Louise, a bright eyed 85 year old who had run into her high school sweetheart and eloped to Mexico, leaving him out to dry. Despite Rita having been the one who spilled the beans, she offered to fill in as his dance partner… Oh man, it was immediately clear that Rita could not dance! Oliver assessed the situation and to escape that awkward situation he ended up quickly, on the spur of the moment, asking Shane to be his partner. He didn't have much time to think through his request to her.
Shane was taken by surprise by his request, especially as she knew that he knew that she was the ring leader in the spying incident. She was, first of all, trying to hide the jubilation of finding out that he was not having an affair after all. But to be asked to be his dance partner was something completely unexpected. So, she suggested he finds a nice lady from his church to do it. He was adamant, "I don't want a nice lady, I want you." Realising what had just come out of his mouth, he tried to fix it by saying "We've danced together before and you're not entirely without grace." Oliver was digging a hole that was getting deeper and deeper by the minute, his words stinging Shane to the quick. Shane swallowed her pride and didn't allow the sting to stick. She agreed to be his dance partner. She was very nervous when she found out they needed to be ready to dance in a showcase in two weeks' time. As they started their lessons, Oliver's calm and confident demeanour started to have a very positive effect on her and as the lessons intensified, so did her confidence.
She was enjoying this experience more than she had anticipated. Oliver proved to be not just nimble on the dance floor, but also very patient and very caring. He understood she needed extra help, so he enrolled both of them in a couple of separate private lessons. The extra focused time helped a lot and before long they were gliding on the dance floor as if they had been doing this together for years.
Every day after lessons, he would walk her to her car and hold the door open for her while holding her hand to help her get in. Shane reflected on what a gentleman Oliver was, the kind of man who just didn't seem to exist anymore. Her heart was touched by his attention and kindness. This went on day after day after they rehearsed. Each day they were drawing closer to each other, but not realising or admitting to themselves their hearts were melting a little with each passing day. They were becoming very familiar with each other's space and motions. They knew how their hands felt holding each other's. She understood his expressions on the dance floor. She could tell when he was more focused on the steps or when he was relaxed and just enjoying their dance together. His cologne had become her favourite scent as Shane's perfume became his favourite. When he arrived home every night, her perfume lingered on his shirt and he couldn't help but take a full breath of that sweet scent. But he didn't give much thought as to what her proximity was doing to his heart. He assumed he was just enjoying the dance lessons as he would any other physical exercise. He never actually asked himself why he was enjoying it a lot more now than when his partner was Louise. Likewise, Shane never gave any thought as to why she looked forward to each evening's hour long practice session and she never felt tired. In fact, when the hour was over, it seemed as if it had just been mere minutes! She found herself feeling disappointed the sessions ended so quickly.
As the day of the showcase approached, Shane had been trying to change the song they were going to dance to, but without success. She didn't like his choice of music and he most definitely did not like hers. That didn't stop her from trying though, as she continued to bring many options to his attention and he continued to dismiss all of them out of hand. On the last night before the show, she had one last option to pitch. She was pretty confident about this one as it was a Billy Joel tune; modern but still in the same style, tempo and beat that Oliver would approve. Rita & Norman had left the office at their usual time and Shane and Oliver were left behind by themselves to finish the work day. She mentioned to him she had one last song to present to him and he agreed to give it a try. It was indeed a lovely song and Oliver relaxed as he realised it wasn't just another mad choice designed solely to irritate him. They started to dance and as usual, they started to enjoy it, allowing the music to guide their steps. The intimacy of the song and the dance started to blend together. It was a perfect balance, making their separate bodies feel like one complete unit, enabling them both to just focus on each other. They started to forget everything else and were completely in the moment. Oliver took a deep breath as her back was to him and her soft hair brushed against his face, filling his senses. Her scent was intoxicating. Likewise, Shane could feel his breath on her neck. He was like a drug, a heady wine and she was starting to feel deliciously intoxicated. As he pulled her out of the dip, they both stopped dancing. Their faces were mere inches from each other. He held her hand over his heart and lowered his head towards her looking intently into her eyes as she did into his. Time stopped! They held each other in this position for mere seconds with their lips almost touching...but it felt like a lifetime. The air between them was charged with the electricity of their feelings, forbidden feelings! Feelings they hadn't even realised existed until this very moment. She licked her dry lips. His gaze dropped from her eyes to her lips...then something snapped and the connection was broken. He let go, dropped her hand and quickly stepped back. He turned the music off and, offering up a lame excuse, he literally ran out of the office. Shane was left standing alone, bereft and trying to get control of her breathing and herself.
What had just happened?