Disclaimer: Any dialogue or characters you recognise were created by the superbly talented Martha Williamson.
This was the second story that I created a few months ago when I first started writing. It was posted here as a standalone story. But I decided to revisit and improve it as I realised it would fit here perfectly as the next chapter in Shane's saga of heartbreak.
Thanks for all the comments and the encouraging words of support.
Also, as usual, thanks to Rhonda Leighton Wronski for her constant support and input.
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Shane's Dream is Shattered
"Once you face up to the scary, the rest is easy"
Oliver stood next to the mailbox outside the hospital entrance. Letter in hand, absolutely drenched to the bone, he was trying to decide if this kind of scary was actually worth the risk. Shane had challenged him earlier telling him when she met him, she had been afraid to open the last letter sent to her by her dad. But once she did, she reached closure on that pain in her life and with it came peace! Now she bluntly told him he was the one who was afraid, afraid of mailing the letter. "I'm not afraid to mail this letter." "Then what are you afraid of?" Shane nailed it with her question; what was he so scared of? That Holly didn't love him anymore? That she still loved him? That she wanted a divorce? That she didn't want a divorce? That she still had any consideration for him and their marriage? That she had completely ignored her vows?
That she wanted to return to him and start over? If she did want to start over, what would happen to Shane? How would he cope with losing her from his life? And what would he lose exactly? Her friendship or the chance for a better future with someone like her instead of…? Ok… no! Why was he thinking such things? Holly was still his wife! He had no business even looking at another woman… at Shane… the way he did, let alone long for her with all his heart.
C'mon O'Toole, focus! Man up and face the scary! Send the letter and the rest will be easy. Really?
Who was he fooling? There was nothing easy about this. He opened the mailbox, and after what seemed an eternity, he dropped the letter into the box. The cold rain soaking him to the skin was nothing compared to the icy feeling overwhelming his very soul at that moment. It was out of his hands now and more importantly out of his control. Come what may, he needed to be ready for whatever ensued as a result of mailing this letter.
All of a sudden, he sensed Shane's presence. He turned and saw she was standing not far away. She was holding an umbrella, watching him. He could see and feel her absolutely broken heart! She seemed so lonely and deep in despair at that moment. They both were! He kept looking at her and she at him. He decided Shane was one scary he couldn't possibly face tonight. What could he possibly say to give her any kind of hope? He had no hope to offer her at this point and neither of them should have to face this situation. Why had he allowed things to progress this far? This was all wrong. Although the look on her face was already haunting him, he had to run away...he had to get away from her! Could he possibly leave her like that and offer... Nothing? No word of comfort? No explanation of any kind? Her sad eyes seemed to follow him and dig deeply into his heart… oh Shane…!
Oh Oliver… Shane cried, absolutely crushed as she watched Oliver look at her from what seemed to be a pit of despair. They were both heartbroken. She had nowhere to go to heal her broken heart, apart from a lonely home where she would lick her wounds alone. She was exhausted! When she got home she made a beeline for her bed. She was absolutely distraught with the idea that Holly might come back and restart her life over with the man of her dreams. What did Oliver say in his letter to her? Did he want her back? If Holly came back, how could she possibly live without him? Where could she go and hide from this love and still retain her own identity? She knew she was Oliver's, body and soul. She also knew that Oliver was hers, whether he could or would admit it or not. They were meant for one another; she was as certain of that as she lived and breathed. Her heart was totally and completely his. He can do to it what he pleased because she no longer had any control over it. Her heart, as Billy Joe sang, was his to break and he was doing exactly that. He was breaking it with no possibility of putting it back together again, at least not until Holly was completely out of the picture. How could an absent person have so much power? How could Shane fight that ghost? How could she rid herself of that pain that was threatening to completely overwhelm her?
The rain was pouring down relentlessly. The wind had picked up speed and was now verging on a full blown storm. It matched her unsettled spirit. The Venetian blinds were swinging a little with the wind blowing in through the gap. The blinds were making a little tap-tap noise against the window frame as Shane always left it ajar for ventilation in her room. She fell into a fitful sleep.
Shane was sure she hadn't been asleep for long when she woke up hearing somebody banging on her front door. Oh my goodness, who could that be? She looked around dazed by sleep and waited. Was she dreaming? The banging started again, more insistent this time. She got up, literally ran downstairs and cautiously asked through the thick wooden door: "who is it?" The voice on the other side answered quietly, trembling, almost in a whisper, "it's me, Oliver." Oh my goodness, Oliver? She unlocked the deadbolt, turned the key, slid the barrel bolt open and threw the door open wide to see a drenched Oliver holding on to both sides of the door frame leaning forward as if he was about to topple over. "Oliver, what on earth…? Come in, come in please." Oliver stumbled in, dripping water everywhere. He looked lost and absolutely drained of energy. Shane immediately started peeling his suit jacket off, then his waistcoat and finally his shirt. She left him with his t-shirt still on even though it was sopping wet too. She grabbed him by the hand and pulled him towards the fire place where she had stacked enough wood to fuel the fire for the night. Steam started to rise from his body. She could make out the shape of 6 pack, his beautifully toned abs under the T-shirt which was still plastered to his body. Focus Shane! She admonished herself.
She ran upstairs as fast as she could in search of the biggest t-shirt she had in her wardrobe. When she came back, he was still in the same spot she'd left him, seemingly absolutely broken. She asked him to lift his arms so she could lift off the t-shirt and put on the dry one, as well as a hooded sweatshirt over his head. He did as she asked. Shane was mere inches away from him now and he rested his head on her shoulder leaning forward, closing the gap between them even more. He was now completely shirtless with his bare upper body right before her eyes and almost touching her body. "C'mon Shane, focus! He needs you more than you need him! His life's in jeopardy." She tried to remain composed, lecturing herself about staying calm and collected. She struggled as she tried to get the dry clothes on him. They were simply too small to fit. She realised with frustration he wasn't actually making this any easier for her. So, she opened her fluffy, woolly bathrobe, took her arms out of the sleeves and hugged him, encircling him with the warmth of her own body and closed the robe around them, making sort of a cocoon. She had him completely in her arms, pressing her own body into his impossibly close. She breathed in the earthly scent of his cologne. He was intoxicating; and at that moment she gave herself leave to indulge in all kinds of fantasies. They stayed like that for a long time until she could feel that he was starting to warm up again. Then as if back from the dead, he hugged her back and before she knew it, he was once again fully warm.
He lifted his head and his beautiful, intense blue eyes pierced into hers. He seemed to be looking into her very soul. He was all there now, fully present in the moment with her. He knew the power he had over her. He never said a single word! He simply lowered his head slowly and gently kissed her. Softly at first, then as if he was a man on a mission, he unleashed his pent-up passion. Her lips parted like an awakening flower in the morning sun. He deepened the kiss, clinging to her, playing leisurely with her tongue, taking his time as he explored her mouth. She moaned deeply with pleasure. She was in 7th heaven! She could hardly believe this was happening, on a night like this, no less! How could a night that started so badly, so full of despair, end up so sweetly?
All of a sudden, Shane heard some annoying music playing in the background with a very repetitive and insistent beat. Oh no, what's this? She thought, still maintaining her hold on Oliver. Nothing, absolutely nothing must interfere with this moment. I want Oliver… I love him… with all my soul and he loves me… where's this infuriating music coming from? Shane woke up to the alarm clock going off like a screaming banshee. Time to face reality. She burst into tears. The dream was well and truly over! It was shattered!