The day of Antonio's ceremony had arrived upon the Encanto and Mirabel couldn't help but feel tense. That was understandable, due to the pressure on the tradition in their family. It had been years since the last one, and that one hadn't gone so great, that one being hers.
She would love Antonio, gift or no. But she knew her family wouldn't react the same way. Abuela had always had an issue with perfection.
But she put on a smile, for Tonito's sake.
She smiled as she told the kids of the town about their family's gifts. She smiled as she received some less than gracious marks from Osvaldo and Abuela. She smiled as she tried to help out by decorating… and then accidentally set one of them on fire. She kept on smiling.
She almost broke when she saw how worried Antonio was about not getting a gift, when she could barely get him out of their room, because a five year old didn't deserve that kind of pressure, but she didn't. She smiled, and she gave him the gift she'd made by hand which made him happy which made her happy.
The ceremony itself was a whole other can of worms. She wasn't sure she'd make it through.
The ceremony started, and the whole time she was nervous. But she smiled. She wouldn't dare let him see her upset, wouldn't dare make him worry one bit. You're going to get a gift, she'd told him, and now she was telling herself. He's going to get a gift. She knew he was. She'd be damned if she let him become an outcast like she was. Never again.
Casita had been all dressed up and beautiful, with candles and lights. The Madrigal grandkids were welcoming everyone. Pepa was freaking out and trying to compose herself. And god, Antonio looked absolutely terrified.
"In the impossible case that you don't get a gift, you'll be stuck with me. Forever!" She'd said earlier.
In her head, she promised, Regardless of what happens tonight, you won't go through what I did.
Despite the fact that she had been trying to help all day, she tried her best to stay out of the way while everyone squeezed into the emCasita/em for the ceremony. She hid behind the curtains so that no one could see her but the family. She didn't want any whispers or rumors to ruin Antonio's big day
When everyone had arrived, Abuela, standing at the wall where the door would be and holding the candle with a very serious posture, Abuela began her speech about how the Encanto had given them a gift and they had to put it to good use. She told the story of their Encanto and about the responsibilities of a Madrigal kid and how they would keep the miracle burning. Each Madrigal child and even the first generation adults had heard the speech before. It was given at every gift ceremony, and it went on and on. Antonio stood at the foot of the stairs, quivering. Couldn't Abuela see that she was making him even more nervous?
"Fifty years ago, in our darkest moment, this candle blessed us with a miracle. And the greatest honor of our family has been to use our blessings to serve this beloved community. Tonight, we come together once more as another steps into the light to make us proud." Everyone cheered. The whole family was waiting by the door, all but Mirabel. Antonio glanced at them, then back at Mira.
Everyone waited with bated breath. Tonight could decide everything.
They waited. And waited. Antonio didn't move. He was frozen.
"I can't," Antonio whispered with tear-filled eyes. He turned back to his cousin, hidden behind the curtain. "I need you."
He reached out his little hand to her. Everyone gasped. Time seemed to stop for Mirabel. She couldn't breathe. She was underground, underwater, suffocating, drowning and she couldn't breathe.
She was a little girl, age 5 like Antonio, in her favorite pink princess dress and a pink ribbon in her hair, and she was walking up the stairs. She was walking and Abuela was giving her speech and she was going to get a gift and make the family proud. Everyone was watching, everyone. The whole Encanto. She touched the candle and promised to use her gift to strengthen the community and she shakingly reached for the doorknob.
The door crumbled to black and she couldn't breathe. She wished there had been some kind of mistake, or something. She looked to Abuela for reassurance but one look at her grandmother's face told her that something had gone horribly, horribly wrong.
She couldn't breathe. She was at Tonito's ceremony and he wanted her to walk with her.
She couldn't do this again, couldn't ruin it for him.
"I can't," she whispered sadly.
"Please," he mouthed desperately, his eyes welling. "emPlease./em"
Not only would she go, but she even wanted to. But she couldn't. Not because of Abuela or the others or what they would think of her, because who cared about that? But she couldn't walk up those stairs with him, with all those eyes, to that door that had never opened for her.
"Tonito," called Abuela, smiling nervously, eyes flashing. "What are you doing?"
Mira's eyes filled as well, and she smiled softly. She wouldn't break, not here and not now. "You can do this," she whispered. "Go make the family proud."
The little boy steeled himself and took one, shaky step. Everyone applauded him and he took another. The next seemed a little easier, and then the next, but he didn't stop shaking, and he didn't stop looking back at Mira.
She wished she'd taken his hand. She should have. It would have been the right thing to do and he needed the support. But she couldn't relive that trauma, go down that walk of shame, face the disapproving looks. Not even for her primo, not even Tonito.
If she had to do it again, she would take his hand. But she couldn't. Couldn't go back.
He took another step, and another, but the look on his face was not one of joy as such a night should have brought. It was a look of betrayal. But he walked on. He had to do this, for the familia. He knew that. Mira knew it. They all did.
He reached the door, and Abuela held out the candle like it was her baby, which in a way it was.
"Will you use your Gift to honor our miracle?" she asked. Antonio barely managed to nod. "Will you serve this community and strengthen our home?"
"...Y-yes."
His mother Pepa smiled at him encouragingly. His father looked at him with pride. But when he looked at Mirabel, he caught her eyes welling up before she gave him her weak smile and reassuring thumbs up. The smile she'd been faking all day.
Please have a gift, please, both of them begged in their heads at the same time. The Encanto held its breath, encouraging him forward. There was only one thing left to do.
He lifted his hand, and took the doorknob.
Mirabel watched.
Everyone did.
The door crumbled into black. Antonio gasped. Everyone gasped. Pepa choked back a sob as a cloud formed over her head. There had to have been some mistake. Mirabel covered her mouth, determined not to cry.
She looked at Abuela, and there was that look.
A horrified, disgusted look. The same one she'd gotten on the day of her ceremony.
A look that told everyone that yet again something had gone wrong.
A/N: This one is mainly being updated on AO3 so if you wanna check it out my user is the same (Miraculously Li). It's based on the theory that if Mirabel didn't walk Antonio to the door he wouldn't get a gift. Please leave a review they inspire me!