WHAT IF . . . ?

"Rocket & Groot & Lylla & Floor & Teefs"

Or

Rocket's Friends Survived and Had Adventures with Him and Groot

Part Three: Black Tie Only

The ship traveled on through space, its crew more or less recovered from their ordeal with the monstrous feline.

Sitting in the captain's chair, Rocket looked at Floor's drawing and said, "That's gonna be so great, but the way I see it, we'll never get there by just dreaming about it. Getting in over our heads is still a bad idea, but we can't keep bottom feeding either."

Rocket activated the holographic console and brought a wanted poster depicting a well-dressed, literally four-eyed alien with a single monocle and a mustache.

"This guy's worth 500,000 credits!" Rocket said eagerly.

"What did he do?" Lylla asked as she leaned over from where she sat in her co-pilot's chair.

"He's one of those white-color criminals, according to this," Rocket said as he read the details, "He embezzled a whole lot of credits from every company he's worked with, and stole from a couple of orphanages as well. He always escapes off-world before the authorities can nab him. He's the type who only cares about himself and thinks he can step on anyone he wants as long as he's rich."

Teefs called out from the back, "Well, he's in for a rude awakening, ain't he!"

"I am Groot!" Groot said with a nod.

Rocket further checked the details and said, "This guy owns a restaurant called Le Snolleńe. Looks like he spends most of his time there. Perfect! We'll head over there and nab him. That new ship will be ours!"

Rocket pulled the hyperdrive lever and caused anyone not seated to fall over when the ship dramatically picked up speed.

"I AM GROOT!"

"Floor's crayons!"

"Warn a guy next time, pal!"

Le Snolleńe was a space station restaurant built on a far out asteroid. It was a tower bathed in spotlights within a dome that held in an atmosphere, with a giant neon sign displaying the name atop the dome.

Lylla leaned forward a bit and said, "Wow. What a nice looking place."

The ship parked inside the space port built in the asteroid.

"Alright, me and Groot have got this," Rocket said, "It would probably be a bad idea to make a scene in there. We can walk in, put a gun to this guy's back, and drag him back here. Easiest 500,000 credits we've ever made."

"I am Groot!"

Lylla nodded and said, "Okay. Good luck, you two."

Rocket jumped out of the chair and led Groot out of the ship. After they'd left, Lylla leaned back in her chair and sighed, a wistful smile on her face and a wistful look in her eye.

Teefs noticed this and asked, "Thinking about something?"

Lylla shook her head and laughed softly, "Heh, heh. Oh, it's silly."

"I don't think so," Teefs insisted, "You always have very nice and smart things to say."

"Yes! Lylla can talk and think really well!" Floor chimed in.

"Welllllll. . ." Lylla said slowly, "I suppose, after seeing the restaurant, it has me wondering what would be like to go to someplace. . . fancy."

"Fancy, huh?" Teefs echoed in interest.

"What is fancy?" Floor asked innocently.

"It was one of the things Rocket told us about not long after we had escaped," Lylla explained, "The bad man we escaped from had told and shown Rocket a lot about society and how civilizations work. Fancy places are like this restaurant. They're places where everything looks nice and shiny, people come and serve you food, beautiful music plays, and you can dance and have a wonderful time."

Teefs blinked and said, "Huh. That sounds interesting."

Floor nodded excitedly and said, "Sounds nice. Lylla should go to fancy place."

Lylla nodded and said, "Yes. I'd like to go. . .with Rocket."

Teef chuckled and said, "Well then, why not just ask him?"

Lylla just looked down in a shy manner and said, "Well. . . I . . ."

"LET ME GO!"

The group turned around to see Groot walking back aboard the ship while holding a squirming Rocket underneath his arm.

Surprised by the scene, Lylla asked, "What's going on here?"

"I am Groot."

Lylla let out a small gasp, then fell into a fit of laughter, "Hahahahahahaha! Really?"

Teefs rolled over and asked, "What'd he say? What'd he say?"

Lylla grinned and said, "They won't let Rocket into the restaurant unless he takes a bath."

Rocket frowned sourly as Teefs and Floor laughed, the bunny actually rolling over on her back and kicking her many legs.

"Well, why should I?" Rocket argued irately, "I've gone six years without bathing or showering and it hasn't hurt me none. You guys never complained!"

In her mind, Lylla had to agree. Personally, she liked Rocket just the way he was. He smelled of determined sweat and fresh oil. It was the scent of someone strong and brave who would always give his all. But then again, Lylla did concede that this was probably only true from her perspective.

Teefs stopped his deep laughter and asked, "Well, don't you want to catch the bad guy? Don't you want that new ship?"

Rocklet hesitated, and he stopped squirming in Groot's grip. Clearly he was in a bit of a dilemma at the moment.

"I am Groot," Groot said to Lylla.

Lylla nodded and said sunnily, "Sure thing. I'll have it ready in no time!"

As Lylla headed to the back of the ship, Floor said kindly to Rocket, "Bath nothing to be scared of."

"Floor, I'm not scared of it, I just don't wanna do it," Rocket clarified.

"It's okay if Rocket scared."

"I'm not scared!"

"Friends help Rocket face fear."

"Stop that! The fact that I know you're not being sarcastic makes it worse!"

As this whole debacle of a discussion continued on, Lylla had dragged a metal tub large enough to accommodate Rocket to the center of the cargo area. She then hooked a hose up to the bathroom faucet and used it to fill up the tub, while also mixing in a few cups of liquid soap. After testing the water to make sure it wasn't too cold, she called out, "Alright, Groot! Bring him over!"

"Hey! HEY!" Rocket shouted as Groot carried him over to the bubble bath, "No way! I am not getting in there!"

Lylla found the whole situation no end of fun, and she found that she enjoyed playfully teasing Rocket. "Oh yes you are. . . ." she said cheekily.

Groot held Rocket over the tub by his tail with the intention of dropping him in. Rocket wasn't having any of this, and he threw himself at Groot's face. Groot stumbled backwards, and Rocket climbed down and tried to run away, but Groot grew his arms out to snatch him up again.

Groot raised his arms high to throw Rocket into the tub, but Rocket slipped out again and landed a kick in Groot's back that sent him into the tub instead.

At this point, Teefs rolled his way over and said excitedly, "Alright! Now I want a piece of the action!"

"That looks like fun!" Floor exclaimed eagerly, "Floor play 'get Rocket into tub' with friends!"

Rocket skidded to a halt in front of Teefs, and he tried to get past the big walrus, but to no avail. Ironically, Rocket had made Teefs new wheels so maneuverable that he kept sliding in Rocket's way.

"What is this, anyway?" Rocket complained, "You should be helping me get out of- HEY!"

Floor had snuck up behind Rocket and pinched his tail between two of her metal legs. "Rocket face fear of baths!" she cheered as she dragged him back.

"That's not it! I- AHH!" Rocket exclaimed as he turned and ran to dodge a grab from Groot. Rocket pulled his tail free from Floor's feeble grip and ended up running right into Lylla's open arms. Feeling himself being held in a tight hug, Rocket said, "Huh? Lylla? What are ya- AHHHHH!"

Lylla jumped into the tub, taking Rocket with her. There was a big splash, and both of them were covered in soapy bubbles. Lylla burst out laughing as Rocket frowned and spat out soap. She rubbed the top of Rocket's head and said, "Now is this really all that bad?"

Rocket just sighed and said, "Fine. Let's just get this over with."

"Rocket not afraid anymore!" Floor cheered, her antennae twitching joyously.

"Grrr. . ." Rocket went.

"I am Groot!" Groot sang as he stood over the tub with a pair of scrub brushes.

Lylla swam out of the way as Groot went to town on Rocket, attacking the six years worth of dirt stuck in his fur.

"Ow! OW! Hey! Take it easy!"

"I am Groot!"

"I'm not being a baby! Urrrgh!"

Lylla chuckled a bit more, and she grabbed a sponge and began to wash Rocket behind his ears.

Rocket's eyes widened and he said, "Huh. . .that actually feels kinda nice. . ."

Some time later, Rocket stood with an irritated frown in spite of, or perhaps because of, his now brighter, vibrant, shining fur coat.

Lylla gave him a nod and said, "You look great. Now go get him!"

Rocket's mouth twitched a bit, hinting at a smile, then sighed and said, "Thanks. Let's go, Groot."

"I am Groot," he replied with a smug grin.

"Shut-up," Rocket muttered as he and Groot left the ship again.

Teefs shook his head and said, "It's kinda funny how a nice guy like Rocket can lose his temper every once in a while."

Lylla shrugged and said, "I guess he just really likes being. . . himself. It's like. . . he wants life to be the best it can be, and he'll gladly improve on it any way he can, but he really doesn't want to see it upended. Look at how long it took him to finally accept that we need a new ship."

Teefs blinked, not fully understanding. "Uhh, I guess so? Not sure what taking a bath has to do with all that."

"Well, I like Rocket just the way he is. We all do, don't we?" Lylla said with pride.

Suddenly, the rear door of the ship opened back up, and Rocket and Groot came back inside again. Groot looked nervous and Rocket looked truly furious.

Now worried, Lylla asked, "What happened, Rocket?"

"I got cleaned up for nothing!" Rocket said angrily, "It wasn't me that was the problem! It was Groot!"

"HUH?" the rest of the group asked.

"I am Groot," Groot said sadly, giving Rocket the occasional glance.

Lylla studied Groot for a moment then nodded. "Well. . .you do have a couple of stems and twigs sticking out all over you," she said apologetically.

Suddenly, a wire lasso fell around Groot and pinned his arms to his sides. Rocket then pulled him towards the cargo hold and said with a smirk, "Alright, Mr. Scrub Brushes! You've got a date with Mr. Wire Cutters!"

"I am Groot. . ." he pleaded fearfully.

Lylla shook her head in bemusement, and said, "Oh well. I had better keep an eye on these two."

"Well I'm taking a nap," Teefs declared, "At this rate they'll probably get into that restaurant by tomorrow night!"

"Floor help fix up Groot!" Floor said, and she quickly skittered into the cargo hold calling out, "There's twig! Another twig! Little twig there. . ."

And so, as it turned out, when it came to actually apprehending the target, it was the easiest 500,000 credits they had ever made. The process of being able to enter the restaurant was clearly another story.

Meanwhile, many light years away. . .

A short figure sat in the cockpit of his ship, illuminated by numerous green monitors. His metal prosthetic legs taped the floor as he looked at the images displayed by his holographic console. They were all images of none other than Rocket.

"I'm getting warmer," the figure said, the tapping of his metal feet getting faster and faster, "I'm getting warmer and warmer by the day. Soon, very soon, you will be in my grasp."

The figure's glowing red eyes got brighter as he said, "I'll get you, 8-9-P-1-3! And your little otter, too!"

The figure's maniacal laughter echoed throughout his ship.

End of part three. . .