CHAPTER 10
"Are we seriously going to do this?" Kurt grumbled to Mercedes as the entire Glee club walked into the cafeteria together, preparing for their last gasp recruiting effort during lunchtime.
"Yeah, this is like social suicide." Artie remarked. Rachel sighed.
"No, look, come on guys! You all heard Mr. Schue! We need more people, and the only way we're going to do that is if we can recruit some today." Rachel reminded them. Everyone grumbled and groaned but deep down, they knew that Rachel was right. They needed to do this, for the sake of their Nationals hopes, no matter what the consequences could be. No matter the fact that after this, if they weren't already at the very bottom of the social letter, they most definitely would be. No matter the fact that they'd probably be greeted every morning for the next month with a slushie to the face. Because it would all be worth it if they even managed to recruit one person.
Quinn was silent as they entered the cafeteria, her head whipping around the packed room, trying to see if Theo was there. She looked around every inch of the cafeteria and her heart sank like a stone: he wasn't there. Quinn didn't even know why she was so upset. Sure he was really attractive, but she had only had 2 conversations with him, and both had ended with her thoroughly pissed at him. No, there was something about him beyond his looks: a certain quality within him that made Quinn want to learn more about him. His dark, brooding frame clearly housed a lot of pain inside it, and for some reason, Quinn wanted it to be her mission to find out why and help him. However, she couldn't do that now if he wasn't even there.
Nevertheless, the show must go on. The Glee club quietly spread out all over the cafeteria, the band members inching their way over to the instruments that they had set up earlier that morning. The New Directions were extremely nervous, to say the least, as they prepared to begin, however they forced the feelings deep down. If they could perform in front of hundreds of strangers in New York, surely they could do it in front of their peers, right? Taking a deep breath, Finn began to sing the first note…
The following song is Stereo Hearts by Gym Class Heroes and Adam Levine
My heart's a stereo
It beats for you, so listen close
Hear my thoughts in every no-o-o-te
Make me your radio
And turn me up when you feel low (turn it up a little bit)
This melody was meant for you
Just sing along to my stereo
Gym Class Heroes baby!
If I was just another dusty record on the shelf
Would you blow me off and play me like everybody else?
If I asked you to scratch my back, could you manage that?
Like yea [scratched], check it Travie, I can handle that
Furthermore, I apologize for any skipping tracks
It's just the last girl that played me left a couple cracks
I used to used to used to, now I'm over that
'Cause holding grudges over love is ancient artifacts
If I could only find a note to make you understand
I'd sing it softly in your ear and grab you by the hand
Just keep me stuck inside your head, like your favorite tune
And know my heart's a stereo that only plays for you
My heart's a stereo
It beats for you, so listen close
Hear my thoughts in every no-o-o-te
Make me your radio
And turn me up when you feel low
This melody was meant for you
Just sing along to my…
However, just as Sam was about to finish the last line of the song, all of a sudden he looked up and his voice immediately trailed off. He had barely a moment to think as he saw a plate of spaghetti and meatballs hurtling towards him, before it connected with its target with a loud SPLAT!
A collective gasp rang through the cafeteria, and for a moment, as Sam wiped the spaghetti sauce off his face, the Glee club were stunned in shock. The band instantly stopped playing, and quickly snuck off through the back exit of the dining hall. They knew what was going to happen just as well as anyone else. Sure enough, a few seconds later, a voice sliced through the dead silence of the cafeteria.
"FOOOOOOOD FIIIIIIIIIIGHT!"
From there, it was absolute carnage. The Glee club barely managed to raise their hands to protect themselves before a tsunami of food came crashing their way. They were under siege. All sorts of food - salad, pasta, sauce, desserts - were sent their way, splattering onto every inch of them. Nobody was safe. Not wheelchair-bound Artie. Not intimidating Puck. Not Quarterback Finn. Not Head Cheerio Quinn. They were all used as target practice by the merciless student body, who were pelting them from every angle. All the Glee club could do was scream and shout and try to cover themselves up as best as they could as they sprinted towards the cafeteria doors, but there was no use. When there were hundreds of people all flinging projectiles at you like chimps at the zoo, there was only so much you could do to protect yourself. They all roughly pushed each other towards the exit, desperately trying to make it out as quickly as they could. That was harder than it sounded though. Some of the jocks had created walls blocking them from reaching the exit and although Puck and Finn managed to shove through them and create a path out, it provided the students with another few seconds that they could spend dumping food all over them. Eventually, they made it out though, leaving the jeering and yelling students behind them…
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"Oh, my God! I just heard what happened!" Mr. Schue exclaimed, as he rushed into the choir room for the Glee rehearsal that afternoon. As he entered the room and looked up, he abruptly stopped walking and his jaw hit the ground in shock. The room was an absolute mess. Despite not a gram of food being thrown in the room, the amount the New Directions had dragged in as they had retreated from the cafeteria meant that there were scraps of food littered all over the floor. Chunks of pasta, cake and salad painted the white choir room floor in a variety of different colours. Mr. Schue didn't pay much attention to the floor though. His main concern was with the 12 students sitting at the back of the room, trying to pick food out of their clothes and hair, scowling at him in annoyance.
The sight was an absolute spectacle, and Mr. Schue couldn't help but stifle a laugh, one that did not go unnoticed by the New Directions.
"Hey, Mr. Schue? Next time you want to make us perform in front of the entire school… please don't." Kurt grumbled as he picked pieces of vegetables from the sleeves of his Marc Jacobs sweater.
"Or better idea, how about you actually be there next time so you can get pelted along with the rest of us!" Puck snapped.
"Yeah, Mr. Schue, what happened to suffering through everything together because we're a family?" Mercedes remarked.
"I thought slushies were bad, but spaghetti sauce in the eye is so much worse." Artie mumbled, trying to wipe his eyes of all of the crap that was all over him.
"Mr. Schue, if the aim of this was to break us down to build us up, it's working." Mike said.
Mr. Schue sighed.
"Look, I'm so sorry that this happened to you guys." He told them. "If it makes you guys feel any better, we do have a new recruit for the New Directions."
Every head in the room shot up at the same time and looked at him incredulously. Their shitshow of a performance had actually managed to entice someone to join?! Quinn, especially, cocked her hair in curiosity. Had Theo actually been there and somehow been convinced to join?
It wasn't Theo, however, who walked through the doors moments later. It was none other than Blaine Anderson, no longer donning his Warbler's blazer and instead wearing a gigantic smile on his face as he looked at the New Directions.
"New Directions, give it up for the newest member of the McKinley High Glee Club, Mr. Blaine Anderson!" Mr. Schue announced. The entire room erupted in cheers, genuine cries of pleasure and relief as they welcomed their newest member. Of course the one person who had actually been so foolish as to join was the one person who wasn't at lunch as he had just arrived that day at the school. After being welcomed by everyone with open arms, particularly Kurt who was ecstatic to see him, Mr. Schue then began to proceed with the rehearsal.
"Thank you so much, guys." Blaine addressed them. "I'm so happy to be here. We're going to win Nationals this year! I can feel it!"
Mr. Schue nodded.
"Thank you, Blaine. We're all so happy to have you here." Mr. Schue responded, before turning to the rest of the group. "But guys, having Blaine with us doesn't change what I said the other day. We need more people. So, for our next performance, I'll make sure that…"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on!" Tina exclaimed. "Our next performance?"
Mr. Schue raised an eyebrow and nodded.
"Well… yeah." He replied. Instantly, there was an uproar. Almost everyone in the room erupted with anger, outrage and defiance.
"Mr. Schue, there is no way we're doing that again!" Mercedes shouted.
"Yeah, look around, Mr. Schue! Nobody joined! The only thing that happened is that we had lunch made on our faces!" Santana spat.
"Look, do you guys think I really enjoy seeing you all like this?" Mr. Schue asked them. "You know you're all like my own children to me. It physically hurts me to see how the rest of the school is treating you guys. But I also know that we're not going to make it to Nationals without at least one more singer."
"And we have one more… Blaine!" Finn remarked.
"Mr. Schue is right, you guys." Rachel interjected. "I love everyone in this room, but you guys have to admit that we're sort of missing star quality from the male side of the room."
"Hard not to take offense to that." Sam mumbled.
"Look, I hate Berry as much as the next person, but she's right." Santana added. "The girls have at least 5 or 6 people that at any moment, can step up and perform the big solo in the big moment. The boys on the other hand… sometimes it feels like it's just Frankenteen and his Merry Men. And you know you're screwed when you're having to rely on him."
Finn didn't say anything, merely scowling at Santana. The Glee club were incredibly reluctant, but they knew Mr. Schue was right. 1 more singer. They needed just 1 more singer. With Quinn and Blaine's additions to the club, they had enough to compete, but not enough to win. They needed to sound not like individuals, but instead like a full choir, which was a lot to ask of 12 or 13 people to begin with. If they wanted to succeed, they needed all the help they could get, and that meant trying to recruit at least 1 more singer to the club…
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That afternoon, long after Glee club had ended for the day and most of the students had gone home, the April Rhodes Auditorium was left dead silent. The vast stage, overlooking a several hundred seat audience, was completely empty until all of a sudden, it wasn't. The door in the corner of the room slowly creaked open and a teenager walked inside. The auditorium was normally empty as nobody was normally using it by this time. It was still warm enough for the Cheerios to be practicing outside, and there wasn't a school play to be rehearsed in there either.
The person who had entered the auditorium was none other than McKinley High's newest student. Theo had peaked his head into the auditorium and, seeing it empty, couldn't help but step inside. He found his way through the long aisle and stepped on stage. There was a guitar lying at the corner of the backstage area, and so before he could stop himself, Theo picked it up and walked back to the stage, sitting down on the edge of it, his legs dangling off the edge.
Looking down at the guitar in his hands, Theo let out a long sigh, his fingers hovering over the stringers, almost tentative to play a note. Since his arrival in Lima, Theo had always maintained that he wasn't a musician. He wasn't a singer. He wasn't a dancer. And to an extent, that was true. Music had basically been outlawed within his house growing up, for reasons he still couldn't understand to this day. His mom loathed anything to do with it, every car ride with her remained silent, every party, every moment of his life.
However, when he had gotten older, things had inevitably begun to change. He had his own electronic devices, his own means to listen to music. And he adored every single aspect of it. Whenever he could, he had earphones in, listening to all sorts of music, both songs and instrumental works. Even after he had moved to the States when he was 10, although his mom would've still rather died than allow him any kind of lessons in music or allow him to join a band or music group of any kind, Theo's love and passion for music continued, just simply in secret. He sang around the house when his mom wasn't home. He sang in the shower when the water was running particularly loudly.
But then things took a turn for the worst in Theo's life, around about when he was 12, and the music died. Literally. Not a note in any shape or form. For years, Theo's life had gone silent.
When he met Marley when he was 14, like everything else in his life, everything changed for the better. She had embraced Theo's love for music, rather than instantly shutting it down like his mom had. And when she had helped him make genuine friendships, many of these friends being huge fans of music themselves, they had helped pass on their knowledge to Theo. And Theo had eagerly lapped up every bit of it. He had been taught how to sing. He had been taught how to play the piano. He had been taught how to play the guitar. Every second he was with Marley, he was singing. And every second he wasn't, he was practicing the guitar or the piano.
Now, after her death, Theo had been tempted to allow the silence to overcome him. He didn't deserve something that for so long, had brought him so much joy. But as he sat now on the stage, a guitar in his hands and his lip quivering as it prepared to let notes forth, he realized something: singing did not always have to be a celebration. It could be anything, from an expression of happiness, to a scream unleashing the pain within.
The latter was exactly what was on Theo's mind as he took a deep breath and began to gently play the guitar in an acoustic rendition of a song he had not heard in 8 months, but caused pain to stab through him from the very first note.
To listen to the following song, search Robbie Williams Angels. For a more realistic rendition of what Theo's singing, try and find an acoustic rendition of it.
I sit and wait
Does an angel contemplate my fate
And do they know
The places where we go
When we're grey and old
'Cause I have been told
That salvation lets their wings unfold
So when I'm lying in my bed
Thoughts running through my head
And I feel the love is dead
I'm loving angels instead
And through it all she offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call, she won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead
When I'm feeling weak
And my pain walks down a one way street
I look above
And I know I'll always be blessed with love
And as the feeling grows
She breathes flesh to my bones
And when love is dead
I'm loving angels instead
And through it all she offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call, she won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead
And through it all she offers me protection
A lot of love and affection
Whether I'm right or wrong
And down the waterfall
Wherever it may take me
I know that life won't break me
When I come to call, she won't forsake me
I'm loving angels instead
Angels, by Robbie Williams. It was a song that meant so much to him, even more so now after what had happened to Marley. Although it had always been one of his favorite songs, he hadn't truly grasped the meaning and power of its lyrics until now, and every word yanked roughly on his heartstrings, causing him an unyielding agony. However, he forced himself to continue to the very end. When he finished, Theo's mind drifted away into a flashback of the last time he had heard the song…
8 months earlier (January 1st, 2011)...
Theo and Marley were driving back from the party together and although it was amid the ungodly hours of the morning, with the pair not having slept a wink, they were in high spirits. They always were when they were together. In the car, they were loudly singing along to the radio. The song Angels, by Robbie Williams, was playing, and Theo found himself lost in the music as he sang along. At some point, Marley stopped singing. He didn't notice, continuing to sing, and Marley simply listenedto him, a faint smile on her face.
At the end of the song, Theo finally noticed that Marley hadn't been singing, and he glanced towards her, raising an eyebrow as he drove.
"I always forget just how beautiful your voice is." She commented. Theo blushed deep crimson, staring down for a moment, embarrassed by the praise.
"Thanks." Theo murmured. "Yours is too."
"No. It really isn't. I'm quite literally tone-deaf, but thanks anyway." Marley laughed. Theo rolled his eyes and laughed with her, before Marley looked up and noticed something. "Careful. You're driving a bit fast there, babe."
Theo chuckled.
"Drive fast, you say? Okay." Theo joked, his foot increasing its pressure on the gas ever so slightly, the car revving to life. The road they were was mostly empty, nobody else daring to be out that this early hour, so Theo was able to go as quickly as he wanted.
"Slow down!" Marley laughed. Theo eased off the accelerator again.
"Come on! You don't trust me? I would never let something happen to you!" Theo exclaimed. Marley nodded.
"I know. You love me too much!" She joked. Theo smirked at her.
"Actually, I was talking about the car." Theo remarked back. "If I get a scratch on it, it depreciates in value. But I guess the same rule applies to you too."
"Ooh… someone's feeling snarky tonight." Marley commented, before smiling as she noticed the grin on her husband's face. "See! I told you the party tonight was a good idea! Look how happy you look!"
Theo shrugged.
"I just have a lot to be happy about right now. There's a lot to smile about." He replied. "I got to ring in the new year as a married man. To a smoking-hot wife too!"
"That's true. I do hear she's pretty hot." Marley playfully flicked her hair as she said this. Theo chuckled and nodded.
"Yup. But from what I hear, not too much going on inside the head though." He remarked.
"Hey!" Marley exclaimed, indignantly. "Next year, I'm going to be studying medicine at one of the most prestigious universities in the country. And you… well you're going to be the one who needs said medical treatment for all of your inevitable brain injuries playing football. And I'm the dumb one?"
"Sounds about right to me." Theo replied. As Marley rolled his eyes, Theo turned and looked at her, placing one hand on her thigh and squeezing it lovingly. "I love you so much."
"I love you too." Marley replied, beaming at Theo as he turned to look sideways at her. However, when Marley turned her head towards the road, her face paled white as a sheet.
"THEO! THE ROAD!"
CRASH!
Theo was dragged roughly from his flashback at the sound of something he certainly never expected… applause. He had finished singing and then had been so engrossed with the flashback that he hadn't noticed someone walking into the auditorium. It could've been anyone for all he knew. It could have been one of the bullies ready for round 2 with him. It wasn't though. It was a staff member - his teacher, Mr. Schuester, to be exact.
Laying eyes on him, Theo took a deep, shaky breath as the teacher walked closer, trying to calm his waterfall of emotions that had been freely cascading through him throughout his song. He could feel tears threatening to creep into his eyes, and he roughly blinked them back, forcing his normally stoic wall back onto his face.
"Wow. That was incredible, Theo. I didn't know you were a musician." Mr. Schue remarked as he got closer to Theo.
"I… I'm not." Theo replied quickly. "I'm really sorry, I'm new here and I didn't know people were using the auditorium. I can leave now."
Mr. Schue shook his head.
"No, no, no. Nobody's using the auditorium right now, don't worry. You're more than welcome to be here." Mr. Schue said. "I was just walking past and heard some beautiful music being made inside, so I wanted to come and see."
That was part of the reason Mr. Schue was in here. The part that he was excluding was that he was on the hunt for a new member of the New Directions, and this boy seemed to be everything he needed and more. For starters, it was a strong male vocalist, which the New Directions were slightly lacking in. And what's more… he possessed an extremely raw, emotional tone that many of the other more polished voices in the New Directions lacked.
Mr. Schue was determined to recruit Theo for the Glee club, prepared to employ a similarly questionable strategy as how he had managed to recruit Finn all those years ago. However, as Mr. Schue had approached Theo and looked him in the eye, any thought of that went out the window. Singing and producing music in the way Theo just had, had broken any dam that attempted to quell emotion from appearing on Theo's face. Now, every inch of his face was covered in a combination of exhaustion, agony and sorrow. Mr. Schue immediately knew that he couldn't blackmail someone like that. It just felt wrong. So he decided to talk to him instead.
"Oh, uh… thank you. I guess." Theo looked down, unable to make eye contact with the teacher, as he blushed.
"I love that song. Angels, by Robbie Williams right?" Mr. Schue asked. When Theo nodded, Mr. Schue smiled faintly. "Amazing song. And you have a beautiful voice, Theo."
"Thanks." Theo murmured. A silence overtook them as Mr. Schue formulated how to say what he really wanted to say. He was wondering how he could acknowledge all of the pain that was clearly emanating from the teenager.
"You know, I remember singing that song a lot when I was younger. Especially when my grandmother passed away."
"I'm sorry." Theo said quietly.
"Don't be. It was a long time ago." Mr. Schue shrugged it off. "In a way, that song made me feel like even though she was gone, there was always a part of her that was with me. Watching over me like a…"
"Guardian angel." Theo murmured. He knew what Mr. Schue was saying. He knew exactly how the man felt. Mr. Schue stared at him sympathetically, able to sense his pain, even if he didn't know what it was about.
"Are you okay, Theo?" Mr. Schue asked quietly.
"Fine." Theo grunted in reply. "Why?"
"Nothing. Just…" Mr. Schue hesitated for a moment. "It's just… there's something about you. It reminds me a lot of myself when I was your age."
"No offense, Mr. Schuester, but I highly doubt we have a lot in common." Theo murmured. Mr. Schue shook his head.
"I don't know about that. We both like the song Angels, so we clearly both have a pretty good taste in music, right?" Mr. Schue commented. "And also… the look on your face. I wore the very same one, in this very auditorium, almost 18 years ago."
Theo didn't really know what to say to this. Luckily, he didn't have to, as Mr. Schue continued to speak.
"Can I tell you a story?" Mr. Schue asked. Theo didn't reply, but a small nod beckoned Mr. Schue to keep speaking. "When I was your age, almost exactly 18 years ago, I, uh… I made the biggest mistake of my entire life. I was an immature, 18 year old kid, about to graduate from this place and I… I messed up. Badly. Really, really badly. It was my biggest regret ever, and it's haunted me for my entire adult life. I've thought about it almost every waking moment since that day all those years ago."
Mr. Schue paused for a moment, taking a deep, shaky breath. He wasn't quite sure why he was telling Theo all of this. After all, he had just met the boy today, and knew little genuine information about him. However, there was just something about him. Theo reminded him SO much of his younger self. The pain Theo was clearly feeling… he had felt the same pain. All of the anguish, the sorrow… Mr. Schue was no stranger. So he kept speaking, leaving out any details, but still confessing something that he hadn't told another living soul since that day.
"18 years later and the mistake still affects me. It affects every single decision I've made since that day. It's defined every move I've made since. In a way, it's what has led me to where I am today."
"So fix it." Theo remarked, speaking up for the first time. "It's never too late to fix a mistake, right?"
Mr. Schue sighed.
"That's just it. That's what killed me about this one. The decision I made, the mistake I made, there's quite literally nothing I can do to rectify it. I tried to. God knows I tried to, so many times. But the fact is that it's irreparable, and that fact… it killed me. It killed me for a long time."
Little did Mr. Schue realized just how true his words rang for Theo too. Although their situations were wildly different, and both had their own secrets, they possessed a lot of similarities. Both of them had made mistakes that simply couldn't be taken back. And Mr. Schue had struggled to move on from it, while Theo was struggling to do just that.
"It took me a long time to get my life back on track after that. My entire college experience, I had to pretend like everything was great and fine, but then I'd go home and wouldn't even be able to look myself in the eye." Mr. Schue said. "But things got better. They eventually did. And do you know how?"
"Time?" Theo asked, almost hopefully. That was only hope he was clinging to that he'd ever be able to live without Marley. It had been 8 whole months, so he was beginning to lose hope, and whatever shred of hope he had left was crushed as Mr. Schue shook his head.
"I thought that would be the case. Then I realized… time did nothing. Why would it? I wasn't ever about to forget about what I did. If anything, time just made things worse." Mr. Schue admitted. "What made things start to get better, what made it hurt a little less, was when I stopped letting that mistake define my whole life. I forced myself to keep moving forward, not daring to look back, until I got to a point where I could at least live with myself, even if I'd never forget the mistake I made."
Mr. Schue paused for a few moments before continuing to speak to Theo, the two sitting beside each other on the auditorium stage.
"Without knowing much about your personal situation, I can only assume that if it was anything like mine, you're going to live with a chip on your shoulder, at least for a while. But if you want to be able to move on from it… well, first, you have to really want it." Mr. Schue told him. "You have to want it more than anything, because anything less than that, and it probably won't be enough. You have to want it with every fiber of your being. And then you have to push yourself forward. No matter how uncomfortable. Whatever does the trick for you. Whether that's being with people. Whether that's being alone. Whether that's by playing a sport, or doing music like you were just doing. Whatever it is. Whatever it takes. Push yourself to do the things that'll help you begin to move forward, no matter how much it might hurt at the time. Because it is better on the other side, no matter how it may seem now."
Mr. Schue had always been a very passionate speaker. He had always been able to motivate his students in a way that few other teachers could, and for one reason: he cared. He truly cared about each and every person he came across. Much of that stemmed from the very mistake he had been talking to Theo about - his greatest shame that had occurred around 18 years ago. But wherever it came from, it meant that he was able to push his students through his sincerity and pure genuineness.
Although Theo had only been his student for a few days, and wasn't part of the Glee club or anything that would mean Mr. Schue would know him well, Mr. Schue still cared a lot about him. He did to all of his students, but there was something about Theo that hit close to home for him. Everything he saw in Theo's eyes, he had seen in his own, all those years ago. And while there had been nobody for him to help him make it through his own internal anguish at the time, he wanted to make sure that that wasn't the same for this kid.
And Mr. Schue truly did manage to break through to Theo. He had given the teenager something Theo hadn't felt in a long, long time: hope. Because Theo realized something… he did want to be able to live past what had happened to Marley. He had thought that he'd never be able to live without her. And maybe that was true, in the sense that a part of her would always stay with him. But in terms of life now… the harsh truth was that Marley was never coming back. He could deny that fact all he wanted to, but 8 months on from her death, it was more clear to him than ever. He didn't think he deserved a life after her death - after all, it had been his fault that she was gone in the first place - but that didn't mean that he didn't want one.
Mr. Schue's words pumped new life into Theo's veins for the first time. He wanted this. He really, really wanted this. He wanted to be better, to live a better life. If nothing else, then he wanted to memorialize Marley by living a life that she would've been proud of. And, painful as that thought was, Theo made the decision in that moment to give it absolutely everything he could to achieve that…