Before class
"I can't believe I like Lindsay Gardner", Summer said, rolling her eyes. "Rose, this is all your fault. Now what side project am I supposed to pursue when Cohen invariably annoys me?".
There was silence for a moment as they both got out of the car and into the warm morning sun. Still feeling a little nervous after last night, Anna took in a deep breath of California's morning air. Even though it had been a year, she still missed the fresh smell of rain that so frequently accompanied a Pittsburgh morning.
Also did Summer just use the word 'invariably?
"How about you take up bedroom boxing again, or yogalates?" Anna said, after scanning the car park for Marissa or the girls from last night.
"Hmm, no, I think I need a live quarry…" Summer pretended to think as she locked her car. "Luke's too big, Zach's too cute, Chino actually knows how to fight. Coop's off with Alex. Seth would enjoy being hunted and I like Lindsay now…So that leaves…" Summer turned to Anna, widening her eyes and tilting her head.
"No, no you wouldn't dare".
"Wouldn't dare what, Anna?" Summer said innocently, her voice artificially high.
"Whatever you are planning".
Anna turned to face Summer so she couldn't be ambushed as they kept walking across the car park.
"I'll even give you a five second head start",
"A head start from what?!" Anna protested, raising her hands. "I'm a pacifist!"
"Let's see how that works out for you, Pittsburgh…"
Lunchtime
"Anyway, why don't you go to watch Ryan practice as much this year?" Summer asked as they walked towards the soccer pitches from their History classroom.
"Oh…Well, I suppose for the same reason he doesn't watch me studying the French revolution". Anna replied, dread mounting inside her with every step, she clutched her history textbooks from the class to her chest.
"Please Rose, I remember us going to watch Ryan play soccer before Cohen found out you guys were a thing. I think you were doing a little more lip biting than he would at Robespierre".
Taken back in equal measure by Summer's accusation and her knowledge of the French Revolution, they had rounded the corner before Anna was able to respond.
"That's a bit of an-" Anna's sentence was lost in her throat as she saw two girls in Harbor sports gear deliberately staring into her soul. Once they saw Anna had noticed them, they started whispering to one another.
"Maybe we should find a different rou-" Cut off mid-sentence, Anna watched Summer stride forward.
"Hey! You got something to say? Say it loud". No trace of Summer's smirk remained as she laid out the challenge to the girls. One rolled her eyes before both walked away. Anna felt the deep dread in her stomach abate slightly.
"You didn't need to do that", Anna said quietly, trying to smile. "But also, thank you. And case in point, it turns out the sports community has a long memory for last year's rumours…" Anna said, her shoulders slumping slightly. Opening her satchel, she quietly slotted her textbooks out of sight. The discomfort she had anticipated spread across Summer's face as the adrenaline subsided.
"You know, Coop is really sorry about all that…"
"I know, I know. It isn't her fault. It is Oliver's, and the perennially gullible students of upper-middle class America". Anna's attempted humour didn't seem to put Summer at ease. "I'm okay, really. I mean I preferred being a nobody but", Anna shrugged, tilting her head. "It'll be okay, it will have to be''.
It has been a mad year, Anna thought as Summer pulled her into a small hug.
"Hold up, hold up. Is that Atwood? I'd recognise that mop anywhere" Summer said, looking down the length of the fenced off soccer pitches after pulling away from Anna. "Wait, who is he talking to?"
As they approached, both Ryan and the three figures surrounding him came into focus. With his back up against the fence, he was surrounded by a sea of burgundy and gold.
"Cheerleaders", Summer said, her eyes narrowing. "God, they are like locusts around here. Come on Rose, we need to rescue him". Anna didn't respond, her attention focused on a slight pain in her chest.
"I-I'm not sure. Maybe we should wait until they are done". She said, stopping herself mid-step, causing Summer to whirl around.
"What?"
"Confrontation is your thing, Summer. What if they believe the rumours? And even if they don't…" Anna's voice trailed off, her gaze squarely on Ryan and the three girls before Summer squared up in front of her.
Watching Summer's face, Anna saw it shift from confusion to concern to a flash of anger.
"I'm sorry, is this the same Anna Stern that smashed into Newport Beach preaching 'Confidence, Cohen'? The one who wanted to debut with Newport's Most Wanted? The same one who brought the pain to Caleb Nichol in his own McMansion?" Summer asked, flicking her hand out towards Anna.
"No, Summer", Anna replied breathlessly in a low voice. Her intensity surprised her. "No I'm really not". Anna paused, finally taking the much needed breath. "In the same way you aren't the same girl I met at Cotillion dance practice. It has been over a year, and it was a long damn year. The Anna you are talking about…Well, she hadn't loved, and she certainly hadn't lost". Anna said, looking to Summer, to the cheerleaders and then to Ryan.
The image of Seth and Summer together the day after they had broken up coursed through Anna's mind once more. Anna wanted to run, run away from her best friend, run away from her boyfriend. Nearly as much as she wanted to tell them everything.
Anna had tried to tell Summer before, but between Cohen running away, breaking up with her, Zach and now Seth's return. It wouldn't have been fair.
Steadying her breathing, Anna tried to gather her thoughts.
Now wasn't the time. Talk to Summer soon, she will understand. You'll still be friends afterwards…right? The final word tightened her chest. She didn't want to lose Summer, she didn't want to upset this fragile, happy peace. If she had to keep it inside, she would. She had lost so many friends moving here…
As her focus shifted back to the campus , Anna saw Summer's look of exasperation had shifted to concern.
"Damnit Stern", she so rarely called her 'Stern' these days. "We aren't done with this…But time is of the essence. For now you need to trust me that saving Ryan from those skanks is the best course of action". Anna closed her eyes for just a moment beyond a blink. The sensation in her chest loosened its grip.
Summer is still here. She is still your friend. That won't change.
"Okay, but remember we talked about the word 'skank'-". Nodding as soon as Anna had said okay, Summer was already pulling her towards Ryan and the girls by the time she finished the sentence.
Once they were within a stone's throw, Ryan's head turned from the conversation. Anna saw his tight, impassive facial expression shift into a lopsided smile.
"Don't you three have an A to form or something?" Summer asked on her approach. As she spoke, Anna tried not to make eye-contact. Anna couldn't help but notice all three of the girls were slightly taller than both of them but Summer either hadn't noticed or didn't care.
After some strange looks and barbed comments, Ryan, Summer and Anna were finally alone.
"Thanks…I wasn't sure they'd let me go". Ryan laughed, sounding genuinely relieved. "You two okay?" Anna watched concern spread across Ryan's face, mirroring Summer's earlier expression as he turned to her. "Is everything okay?"
"I'm good, sorry, just tired", Anna said quickly, unable to meet his gaze. Ryan didn't quite buy it, looking to Summer for support. The sad smile Summer shot him gave him enough of a clue.
"Sorry I'm running late already, but we can walk and talk together for a little while…What did you two need me for?" As he spoke, Summer saw Ryan's hand slowly but purposefully reach out and find Anna's.
"Oh it's nothing really. I just wanted to ask if I could come around tonight. My mom cancelled our dinner plans…again. But you can say no". Anna hurriedly added, finally raising her gaze from the floor to his eyes as she felt his hand engulf hers.
"Of course, they love having you over. I'd love to have you over". Ryan said, smiling. Anna felt his grip gently tighten.
"Thank you", Anna said softly, resting her head on his shoulder as they started walking.
Summer and Ryan caught up on the latest Cohen news as they walked out of the sports complex. Ryan was keen to her Summer's recounting of Seth's currently rare excursion onto the Harbor social scene.
Once they were back into the amphitheatre, Anna felt the tightness in her chest slowly subside. Still hand in hand with Ryan and keenly aware she hadn't spoken for a few minutes, she spoke up.
"You know, having slept on it for a night, I'm actually quite impressed that Zach and Luke can sing the entire of Ice, Ice Baby. Do you think they practice?" Anna asked, trying to keep her voice light as they walked down the amphitheatre steps.
"Please Rose, I'm still trying to lock the memory away underneath at least 3 chakras" Summer said, visible relief crossing her face.
"Why would you want to repress such a touching moment", Ryan said through his laughter as he looked ahead at the Harbor building.
Over the last year, Anna had started to learn which Ryan laugh was which. The nervous one before talking, the nervous one after talking, the dry laugh, and this one, his laugh of carefree joy. She wasn't sure if it was a few weeks of normality or his Saturday surprise, but either way, the sound made her smile and peeled away another layer of anxiety from the sports complex.
"Ryan! You weren't there!" Summer said in disbelief.
"A fact I will regret until my last breath, Sum", Ryan tried to keep his voice as serious as possible, it didn't work.
"I mean it was public, maybe someone caught it on video. I could ask around?" Anna said, trying to mimic Summer's high-pitched innocent tone from earlier.
"If I hear even a whisper of that line of inquiry, I'll teleport behind you again like last night, and this time I will not show mercy". Summer's eyes were like thunder as Anna dashed to the otherside of Ryan.
"This is suppression of the free press", Anna said once she was safely latched onto Ryan's other arm.
"I've seen what Summer can do to a punching bag, I might only be able to buy you ten seconds, tops", Ryan said through laughter as cupped his free hand into a makeshift pad.
"Don't you forget it, Atwood" Summer said, playfully punching into his cupped hand.
"I don't think ten seconds will do me much good", Anna said. "Summer chased me like the T1000 earlier, she is relentless".
Raising a quizzical eyebrow, Ryan turned from Anna, still clinging to his arm, to Summer.
"It is all in the breathing Atwood. Two stints at flute camp and your lungs are all set for distance running". Summer said, speaking as if it was the most natural sentence ever uttered.
Reaching the top of the amphitheatre steps, Ryan gathered his thoughts.
"Well, that doesn't explain why you were chasing my girlfriend earlier…But what is life without a little mystery. I'll see you both after the last class, right?"
"Ahh, I've actually got free study in last slot…So I'll head over to yours later,if that's okay?" Anna said, looking up at Ryan as he smiled.
"Of course, sounds great", he said, kissing her quickly before letting go of her hand. "See you later, later Sum!"
"Well someone seems a lot less 'That Anna hadn't loved and lost' and a lot more 'Smiling as I watch my dreamy boyfriend walk off' don't they?" Summer said through a sly grin as they both watched Ryan walk away.
"I meant…I meant it…" Anna's smile faded, her voice tinged with sadness. "When he is here, it feels great. Like nothing will come between us…Then the anxiety creeps in, my mind starts thinking of everything that could happen…Everything that happened" Anna said, gently shaking her head as if to eject the thoughts. "I got some weird looks yesterday, before you arrived at the water polo game…And then everything back there…I don't know, it is stupid, I'm sorry".
Turning back from the amphitheatre to Summer, Anna saw her face had shifted from amusement to concern.
"You know that you can talk to me, Anna". All the playfulness had disappeared from Summer's voice. "About anything. Anything you feel comfortable talking about. You offered yesterday, I'm offering today. Ryan isn't the only good listener in the group". Anna closed her eyes and nodded.
"Thank you, Sum. I'm sorry. I meant it though…What I said, about not being the centre of all sympathy". Anna said, trying to keep eye contact with Summer.
"I know you did, but if you need support, you need support. Doesn't matter if you don't want it". Anna wasn't sure if she initiated it or not, but before she knew it they were hugging.
"I feel so silly. Everything has been going okay these last few weeks and only now my mind decides to go haywire…" Anna said, letting out a small, hollow laugh. She saw Summer's expression flicker as she considered her next words.
"Remember in the hospital, Ryan said he didn't realise he had been hurt until you, Seth and Marissa were safe. The adrenaline right? I think it is a social version of that. Your mind can operate through all these crazy things happening. But it can't go on forever. At some point, once the threats are gone, it'll start to hurt. And it will feel out of sequence, you won't be able to work out which wound is causing which pain…Does that make sense?" Taken aback, Anna nodded slowly as she took a deep, steadying breath.
"A lot of sense…Did you come up with that?"
"Yeah, yeah I did…Had plenty of thinking time with Cohen sailing off to god knows where".
This time Anna was sure she had initiated the hug.
"You are incredible, Summer Roberts", Anna said, a subdued, warm smile on her face.
"Have you been reading my diary", Summer joked, returning the smile. "You too Rose, don't sell yourself short. We are going to get through this, you watch". As Summer finished talking, the final bell sounded out across the campus. "Now come on, we are going to be real late".
Joining the path again from the shade of the rosewood trees, Anna felt exhausted.
"I just have one last question", Anna said as they navigated through the remaining students.
"Oh?" Summer said as someone walked straight between them.
"When did you learn who Robespierre was?!" Anna asked, clutching her books to her chest.
"Please Rose, the Jacobins were the pre-eminent vanguard of the Revolution. Robespierre's methods may have been controversial but in context he was trying to destroy a millennia of entrenched Ancien Regime tyranny". Summer said, holding open a door for Anna.
"Just incredible…" Anna said as she walked through into the open hallway.