A.N. Inspired by the prompt from fraysquake for dailyau on tumblr: "Our flats are opposite each other and your kitchen window faces my kitchen so we always see each other making coffee at 3am." The title comes from the song "Love" by Jana Kramer. This could probably mostly under the theme in the rain and bad weather, but also kindred spirits. Thanks so much to purpleyin for making the awesome graphic (and for the patience waiting for me to finish writing it :-) ).
still believe in fairy tales
It became a sort of ritual for both of them but neither one knew their part in the others. It went on that way for years, since he moved in.
Since that fateful day Caitlin went home on a lunch break from the hospital to find the vacant house next to hers actually had a tenant for the first time since she herself had moved into the neighborhood. He was rather tall and lean, with dark hair and a boyish but honest face. Their eyes met across the cement as he held on to the end of his couch, sending a lopsided and goofy grin her way before he nodded and went back to hauling in his furniture with his friend. She'd blushed, keys still in hand and car door still open, and then blinked out of it, rushing into the house. She hadn't even seen what the friend looked like in her momentary fixation with her new neighbor.
By the next morning, their eyes met again as she stood at her kitchen window with a mug of coffee in her hand. He smirked, nodding to her once more on his way out the door where he got into the passenger side of the car out on the street. As the car drove off, Caitlin found herself blushing again.
It had been about a couple of years now since gaining that new neighbor, and she only ran into him a few times. She now knew that his name was Barry Allen, and he worked at the Central City Police Department as a forensic analyst.
Their first few interactions with each other were brief, stumbling with clumsiness and stuttering with nervousness, both awkwardly out of social practice. For while it was true their work never left them alone, neither had had any meaningful interactions in quite some time. Caitlin gave up patient care and practicing medicine in favor of laboratory research. Barry, she found out, kept himself too busy with work and cases in order to forget about the one case he'd never solved - though that was the only thing he would never talk about. He remained guarded, but Caitlin never pushed because she had walls up of her own.
The two of them went on with their lives, though they were never far from each other's minds. Seasons came and went, people passed through, their days remained the same, and yet . . .
Without either of them realizing it both Barry and Caitlin began to time their days around each other. While Caitlin would make herself breakfast in the morning, Barry would sit at the stool of his kitchen counter with his triple-shot espresso and watch her methodically maneuver her way through a never-changing routine. At night when Barry was dancing his way around his kitchen making himself dinner and preparing meals for the week, Caitlin stood staring, transfixed at her sink. During the night, they took turns watching each other burning the midnight oil on work or staring into the fridge in self-loathing. Neither ever noticed the other.
As was the nature of their habitual self-inclusions, there were not many other people who came and went in either house. Caitlin had pushed everyone away in her life, including her mom and sister, and she was nearly always at work every day, so it had been some time since she'd had anyone in her house. Other than her best friend, of course, but those visits mostly consisted of Cisco attempting to drag her out of bed on the rare days that she allowed herself off to try to convince her to go out to the bar or the club with him so they could both meet people. It never worked, and Cisco usually ended up giving up because they both knew she wasn't ready yet.
She had seen a few people stop at Barry's, but judging by the defeated looks on their faces when they left, they were just as unsuccessful as Cisco always was with whatever they had asked of Barry.
The few times she had interacted with Barry, he had seemed just as uninterested as her in socializing with the world, and she'd seen the same shadow of sadness and pain on his face as she'd seen in her own reflection in the mirror.
And then on another fateful day, the storm clouds rolled in, bringing with them a massive storm worse than Central City had seen in over a hundred years. Caitlin barely made it home before the downpour let loose, just stepping in through the front porch as lightning lit up behind her.
She jumped, startled, and her keys dropped to the floor. As she turned to reach down for them, she caught something out of the corner of her eye. She frowned; her keys forgotten as she regarded the scene outside of her door.
There on the ground on the other side of the trees that separated their driveways was her neighbor…Barry.
He looked so dejected sitting there on the ground in the gloom of the thunder and lightning. He was beyond drenched, the water dripping off of his hair and nose.
With another crack of lightning, she was out the door before she could even think about it. She was soaked in just a few steps, but her only focus was still on the ground in front of her.
"Barry, what are you doing? It's awful out here!" She shouted, her voice barely a whisper over the wind and rain.
He looked up as she approached, eyes barely open in the deluge, "Caitlin?"
"C'mon you." She pulled him up to stand by the arm, dragging him behind her back up to the porch and in the house. Once they were inside, she snatched the blanket she kept on the back of her couch and wrapped it around him. "What were you thinking? You could've caught pneumonia or been struck by lightning!"
Even as he still shook, Barry shrugged. "Got locked out. Phone's inside."
"No spare?" Caitlin offered, but he held up his hands in defeat. She frowned, turning her head. She was about to offer her shower, but the clap of thunder reminded her that wouldn't be such a great idea.
…and then the lights flickered before the two of them were plunged into darkness.
"That's probably not a good sign, huh?" Barry's voice still rattled from the cold.
"Likely not." Caitlin let out a puff of air, feeling tense. She'd never really been a fan of storms. "But, ah, I'm sure they'll go back on in a moment."
"Sure." He didn't sound convinced.
Silence enveloped the room tighter than the darkness in the few minutes they stood there. She felt her way over to the table by the door where she'd left her purse earlier, digging for her phone. Once she had it, she turned the flashlight on, shining it out so they both could see. The longer they stood there, the more awkward it was. And it became clear that the lights weren't coming on anytime soon.
Caitlin glanced at Barry, watching him shiver, and her head tilted in concern. "You've got to get out of those clothes before you get sick."
"Am I supposed to just sit naked on your couch in the dark?"
The flashlight may have been dim but she still caught the slightest of smirks on his face. She angled the phone further away from herself, feeling the warmth rise in her cheeks. "Of course not. I have some men's clothes around that might fit you."
"You just keep men's clothes around for a rainy day, huh? Heh, that's clever." He laughed.
The question threw her off guard, the blush disappearing and instantly replaced by the piercing gut-punch of grief. "Not really . . . it's . . . it's a long story."
"Cait?"
She flinched, turning away - she needed to get away. "I'll go get those; you just sit tight."
"Can't see so . . . yeah. Really not going anywhere."
As the storm continued to rage on outside, Caitlin used her phone light to make her way through the house. The closer she got to the closet in her room where his things were stored, the faster her heartbeat. When she had told Barry she had clothes he could wear, she had not realized how much it would bring rushing back.
It was the little things, really . . .
With Ronnie, she had thought she'd found the love of her life - her fairytale ending. She loved him with everything she had, and he loved her . . . but then he was taken away from her. She'd been alone ever since.
…And now her incredibly attractive neighbor that she'd had a crush on for months but couldn't bring herself to admit it was in her house, and she was about to give him her dead husband's clothes to wear.
The only way out was through, though, so there was nothing she could do about it now. Right?
Right.
The trip back downstairs with the clothes in the dark by the light of her phone felt like it took a lifetime. Her clammy hands nearly slipped on the banister despite the chill she still felt from being out in the rain. She really should've changed herself, but her mind was still fumbling with having Barry in the home that she had built with Ronnie.
She switched to autopilot as she continued down the stairs back to where Barry still stood in her entryway. She passed the clothes and her phone to Barry. Whatever words he said to her didn't reach her ears, and she stood frozen in silence in the dark while Barry changed in a different room.
She wasn't sure how long she waited there, but she remained lost in her thoughts - trapped in memories of days past.
…. Until a light shined in her face, startling her and interrupting the haunted images in her head.
"Hey, you okay?" Barry's worried expression barely broke through the haze, but it helped ground her in the present. The sweats, t-shirt, and socks she'd given him to wear were a little bit baggy, but otherwise, they fit fairly well. The head trip of thinking of Ronnie lounging on the couch in those clothes made her chest a bit tight, but she pushed the feeling back in her mind.
"Fine. Change of clothes feel better?"
"It's starting to."
"Sleep should help too. I could use some of that myself," Caitlin yawned, "There's a guest room down the hall. We'll get some sleep, and then tomorrow we'll see about getting you back into your place. Hopefully by then, the power will be back on."
As she led him down the hall to the guest room, she could really start to feel the fatigue set in. Everything around her grew hazy and she steadied her hand on the wall while Barry walked into the guest room.
The storm outside was louder than ever, constant rumbles, flashes of light, and howls of wind. If Barry had stayed out in the elements any longer . . . no, that would have been fatal. Thankfully, she had noticed him when she did, or she may have gotten a new neighbor again.
No, that wasn't something she was going to allow herself to think about.
She stood up straight, making a quick stop at the hallway closet to grab a blanket and another pillow before she continued into the room. The two of them were quiet, the only noises to be heard groaning on from outside. They fixed up the bed, adding the blanket and second pillow. Barry sat down, settling in while Caitlin hovered near the door.
"Thanks again, Caitlin. I would probably still be sitting out in the rain if it weren't for you." Barry smiled at her.
Her teeth ground into her bottom lip, shifting where she stood. "What else are neighbors for, right? Cup of sugar, dry set of clothes, warm place to sleep."
"I would return the favor, for sure. Jar of espresso beans, a new outfit from the store . . . I'd even insist on my bed instead of the guest room that has obviously never been slept in." As soon as he finished talking, his eyes went wide. Caitlin coughed; her cheeks flushed again. "N-not that I was implying you have to sleep with me. Or . . . I mean if you wanted to, I wouldn't turn you down but I'm not—I would never–"
She giggled slightly, shaking her head. "Such a smooth talker, Mr. Allen. I got what you meant."
"Good," Barry sighed in relief, "'Cuz I say weird things when I'm nervous and didn't . . . I just wanted to lighten the moment a little. You've been a little quiet, and it seems like there's something bothering you. When you brought me the dry clothes, you sniffed them a little before you handed them to me. In fact, you've seemed a bit sad since I met you. I just wanted to make you feel a little better. Not that you have to tell me what's wrong."
She looked down, crossing her feet where she stood. "There are a lot of memories in this house. Some are more painful than others. Some are extremely painful, actually. I bought this house with my husband, and then I lost him. It's been quite a few years now, long before you moved in."
"Caitlin, I'm so sorry." Barry's voice was low but soft, "Wait, these clothes were his?"
"They were," She confirmed, "I just haven't been able to get myself to part with anything."
"I get it," Barry said, "My mom died when I was a kid . . . I used to think the further away I got from it, the less it hurt. But some days, the pain . . . it's worse than when it happened. Some things . . . some things you just can't fight."
"Most days it feels like it's winning."
"Sometimes. But we just keep on going anyways," Barry chuckled, "And I've seen you keep going. You get up every morning, so early. So, so early."
She tensed, just staring at him. "How do you know when I get up?"
"We're neighbors, remember? Right next door. Flatmates?" He faked a British accent. "I can see in your kitchen window from my kitchen."
She was about to yell at him, horrified . . . but then she realized he was right. "I have never seen somebody make coffee as late as you have. Or I suppose as early. What do you need caffeine for at 3am?"
He laughed, rubbing his hand along the back of his neck. "I work late . . . at home. A lot."
"I guess so. That must be, how did you put it? The one case that got away?"
"Something like that yeah."
"So, I guess we've kind of been stalking each other, huh?"
"Little bit."
They said their goodnights, and Caitlin left Barry in the guestroom before she made her way up to her own room. She would kill for a hot shower to ward away the chill, but the storm showed no sign of letting up anytime soon.
She settled for a warm pair of pajamas and crawled under the covers of her warm bed. She was beyond exhausted, and as soon as her head hit the pillow, she was out.
…she awoke with a start, dripping with sweat. Her clothes clung to her like a second skin, and she literally had to peel the blankets off to avoid suffocating. Expecting the sun to blind her, she kept her eyes shut. But when she took a chance and opened them, she was sorely disappointed to be greeted by pure darkness. And then a brief flash of lightning illuminated her room, and she realized it was still night . . . and the storm raged on.
She felt around in the dark on her nightstand for her phone. It lit up for a moment, where she saw that alas it was only 3:44 am before the battery died and it shut off completely.
"Ugh!" She fell back on the bed in frustration, feeling the slightest of pinches between her eyes. It had felt like she'd slept for days, but really it was just a couple of hours.
Flashbacks of the dreams she had just had played back in her head. Memories of Ronnie, of their life together. Their engagement, wedding - when they'd bought this house together. The day she lost him, along with all hope for the future they had planned together.
. . . And then Barry showing up out of nowhere, there but not there. As sweet and as kind as Ronnie, but different in his own way. Just a friendly face with no ill intent or selfish manipulation. A comfortable and harmless infatuation, someone to make her blush on occasion.
And now Barry was here, in her house. Asleep in the guest bed that no one else had ever slept in - he had certainly been right about that. Under the roof she'd shared with Ronnie where no other man had ever entered - other than Cisco but he was her best friend, so he didn't count. Barry, the first man since Ronnie who had made her laugh and feel comfortable at the same time.
Barry . . .
She had never been much into signs or horoscopes like her free-spirited sister, but this . . . this was certainly difficult to ignore.
And just like that, the anxiety that had awoken her out of a dead sleep eased considerably. Her heart, which had been racing a mile a minute, slowed to a comfortable beat and she relaxed into her pillow.
Knowing that Barry was downstairs made her feel a comfort and a calm that she had not felt in far too long. It did not take long at all before she relaxed into a deep sleep once more.
The next time she awoke it was to the sweet sound of birds chirping and the pleasant warmth on her face. She sighed sleepily - and happily - and yawned, stretching slowly.
A little later, she made her way down the stairs in her robe and slippers. It was a new day, and the sun shined brightly. All of the darkness from the night before was long gone. She'd judged from the blinking light on her alarm clock on her nightstand that the power was back on. She hadn't wasted any time putting her dead phone on the charger before she came down.
As she got closer to the kitchen, she tilted her head at the sound of clanking pots. And then she caught the fresh smell of coffee, and the heavenly aroma nearly stopped her in her tracks. She found Barry in the kitchen over the stove, wearing her scientific pi apron and mumbling show tunes under his breath.
He turned around, his smile bright at the sight of her. "Hey sleepy head! I hope you don't mind, I thought I would make us breakfast since you were kind enough to step in like a white knight and save me from mother nature last night."
"That coffee smells so good, I could kiss you!"
His eyes grew wide, and she realized what she said. Instant immediate blush of the cheeks. She busied herself by pouring them some coffee and then took a seat on a stool by the island.
"So, it seems as if the storm is done." Barry was still grinning at her while he cooked. "Barely looks like it stormed at all out there."
Caitlin sipped at her coffee. "Yeah, we got pretty lucky to not have any damage. Hopefully, the rest of the city fared just as well."
"I think there were no reports of damage in Central City or the surrounding area, yeah."
She held her cup over her lip, raising her brow.
"Oh, I've been up for a while. I already got into my house and everything." Barry said as he flipped a pancake. "My dad, Joe - or he's actually my foster dad but I think of him as a second dad - he stopped by early this morning to check on me. I saw his car outside, met him out there. He has a copy of my house key, so he let me in. I changed and threw my wet clothes and your husband's clothes you let me borrow in the washer."
Which was when Caitlin realized she hadn't even noticed he wasn't wearing what she'd given him the night before. "Hmm . . . I must not be awake yet."
"You were out for sure. I called up before I went out to meet Joe, but you didn't answer. I figured you were still asleep." Barry chuckled.
"Well, thank you for breakfast. You didn't have to stay once you got in your house."
"Eh, it was nothing. I wanted to thank you for helping me and not take off like a stranger who took all of your stuff." He shrugged, but then his face softened. "And I really wanted to see you again. When we were talking last night . . . I haven't connected with anyone like that in . . . well, ever."
Caitlin could only stare at him, stunned. Her heart warmed, and it wasn't from the coffee.
"Caitlin, I've been trying to work the courage up for months to tell you . . . I really like you. I think I've been falling for you since I saw you the first day that I moved in next door. And if you feel the same way . . . well, Caitlin, I would really like to give this thing between us a try."
She set her coffee cup down and got down from the stool.
"But if you aren't interested or think it's too soon, that's all fine too. We can go back to being friends, or take it slow, or whatever." Barry took the pan off the stove, shutting it off. "I just really want you in my life, and I don't want to lose you. I don't just want to see you through the window anymore or just in passing outside. I want to be a part of your life, and for you to be a part of mine."
Caitlin nodded, standing in front of where he now faced her, and she took hold of his hands.
"So, what do you think?" Barry looked down at her and where she traced his thumb with hers.
"I think. . ." She started, her eyes now locking with his. "I think we should eat this delicious-smelling breakfast that you made and then you should stay."
"Stay the night again, or . . ." He trailed off.
"How does forever sound?"