POV wednesday
Enid is too innocent, I couldn't figure out where so much innocence on her part came from.
Normally attentive to what others said, both from the teachers and from everyone around us, she was always trying to help me, always by my side even when I was the most bitchy and miserable with her and even then she didn't get away from her. She always healing my physical and emotional wounds, always treating me as if she were like the others, as if I were a good person, that stupidity makes her too innocent.
She doesn't understand that I'm the bad guy at school, the bad person both outside of it and within it, that no one wants to get close to. They can't stand my character, I terrify them, spreading terror wherever I go, I don't know why I have friends if I am the way I am.
I don't know if it was about her because of her, because of Enid, they keep us together, always worrying about both them and me. For making them love and support me, for understanding me and making them live with me, I appreciate them but I dare not admit it. I can't be too serious on my part and they understand because they are my friends.
Damn Sinclair I can't understand her reason for being like this with me, because she looks for me and loves me, letting me do and undo her to my liking, she allows what she wants with her and I love it.
Enid knows my story, she knows my parents' reasons for enrolling me in Never Again, Enid has been by my side since the first time I came to her side of the bedroom after a fight with the Thing, she hugged me even though I made it clear to her. I didn't like physical contact with anyone, she gave me her warmth, her shoulder to vent, she allowed herself to be manipulated at will to calm me down and relax, to vent my anger, Enid listened to me from beginning to end without interrupting me at any time. After that night I was a bitch to her but she didn't notice me at all. She only loved me and she supported me in silence.
I'm not normal and I've never felt like one, but above all…Enid is the only one who sincerely loves me, she's always been there for me and she's so innocent, I hate and love that about her so much. She's a stupid fool, I know she loves me, she's in love with me and she's so innocent. Because despite treating her badly and not being what she wanted from me, she doesn't hate me like the others do, she shouldn't waste her time trying to make me happy, a better person, please me in all my desires, Enid tries to change me, I can't be happy, Enid should know.
Enid is too innocent, she gives me all her support, she is her first when I need her, I can vent and take out all my frustrations on her. She offers me respect and affection from her, she doesn't make me feel alone and she gives me all of her... her love. I want to hug her, kiss her and tell her never to leave my side, to have her to myself in every possible way, Enid is so innocent.
I'm dying to tell her that I love her more than she loves me, Thing tells me to confess every day, he understands how difficult it is to love someone and never confess it, sometimes he has tried to bring us together so that I confess everything I feel to him for her, but I can't…Enid is pure and warm, the best person in the world and I don't want to stain that pure innocence with the reality of who I am and that others would, people are cruel and no one will stop because it's her I know that Enid is able to defend herself against her very well, but I don't want her to be attacked or assaulted for being with someone like me.
I've lived it all my life and I'm not going to drag her to my hell, she couldn't do that to my innocent wolf, to my anchor, to my support. I could be cruel and mean to her but I wouldn't let someone lay a finger on her. I will protect her from the shadows, my evil will cover her and no one will harm her, because she is so innocent.
That is why even if it hurts, what I do is the best for both of us, I will protect her in my own way, because that way Enid will keep her innocence away from my evil, I keep her away from the cruelty and the harm that could be done to her and I for my part… I prefer to die saving her, die before continuing to contaminate her incidence with my evil and my love.
Enid is so innocent and that's how I want her to always be.