Thank you to everyone who read the first chapter!
I hope you enjoy this journey!
Georg should have known there were only so many times they could sweep the conversation under the rug before he snapped.
And that's exactly what happened.
He had made one of his trademark comments about a house full of little Georg's and Maria's and Maria had once again begun acting strangely, almost as if she hadn't heard what he'd said.
At this point in their marriage Georg had had enough. They had been married for 6 months for God's sake; they had done more than enough to ensure some little von Trapps should be well on their way by now.
"Did you hear me, darling?" he asked firmly from his spot on the terrace.
"What was that my love?" she replied, suddenly incredibly interested in the tiles under her feet.
"Don't play dumb, Maria" Georg accused, a sudden sharpness in his tone.
Maria's head sprung up and a fire was lit in her eyes "What did you say?" she exclaimed, a hint of betrayal in her voice.
"I want to know why you hate it when I talk about having children" he demanded, face inches from her own.
"I don't hate it; I just think the seven we have is enough right now. I love you, Georg, but I don't know why you insist on bringing this up all the time." Maria attempted to placate him with a charming smile, before once again nervously looking at the floor.
"I know you, Maria and there is something you aren't telling me" he stated lifting her head to meet his own.
"Don't be ridiculous, darling!" Maria said with a smile that didn't reach her eyes while removing his hand from her chin.
"Honestly, Maria, it's almost as if you don't want my children!". Georg was hoping she would have at least pretended to deny it, but she remained silent.
For the longest minute of her life, Maria contemplated telling him everything.
Eventually she spat out "I don't want to have your children" Maria could hardly believe she had found the courage to say her truth but now she had, she stood firm, ready for the onslaught of fury from her husband.
Braced for impact, Maria was shocked to see sadness fill the beautiful blue eyes she loved so dearly. Reaching out her arm, prepared to comfort her husband she wasn't surprised when he batted her hand away, hurt spreading through his limbs.
"Maria…You should have told me if you were worried about getting pregnant." Grasping her hands in his he continued clearly misunderstanding his wife (or refusing to understand her meaning), "We can go and see a doctor. Darling, I promise I won't stop unt…."
"NO!" he had the complete wrong idea!
He didn't have time to continue his lecture as he felt Maria ripping her hands away and watched as she began to pace the length of the terrace.
Maria burst out, "I don't want children. I think I can have them, but I don't want them. Please can we just forget about it." With a forced smile, she went to grasp his hand in hers and walk down the steps to the gardens, determined to move on with their lives.
"No!" Georg removed his hand from hers, "We will not forget about it." Maria tried to walk away but Georg wouldn't let her, grabbing her hand he continued, "I am not about to force you to have my children by any means," Maria could hardly look at him, "but I think I deserve an explanation as to why you don't want a living expression of our love for each other?" by now Georg was gripping her by the elbows and forcing her to look at him. Little did he know, she wasn't listening anymore, she was terrified. Childhood trauma clouding her brain in flashes of pain.
Frozen, Maria barely whispered "Please, darling, let go of me?". She knew he wouldn't hit her or hurt her in any way but right now she couldn't use the rational part of her brain.
"Tell me, Maria!" oblivious to her fear, Georg's anger won out over all thoughts of sympathy towards his wife.
By now Maria may as well have been on a different planet. Her childhood came rushing back to her. She was moving her mouth, but no words were coming out. Suddenly, she was seven years old again being reprimanded for being late home from school. She remembered what came next if she didn't apologise. He was going to hit her, surely.
Finally, her voice came back, and she sprang free from her husband's grasp.
"Georg, I love you, I'm sorry" Maria said with a numbness he had never witnessed before. Maybe if she apologised enough, he would calm down. Although, that never worked with her father. Oh god, it was happening again.
Georg stood in a confused state, watching as she apologised over and over, tears rolling down her cheeks. Ordinarily, he would try and calm her but now it was enough to spark a fury in him greater than he had ever known. What wasn't she telling him?
"For god's sake, will you stop apologising", overcome by the red mist of anger her grabbed the closest thing to him, a crystal vase, and threw it through the air before it smashed into a nearby greenhouse.
It took only milliseconds for Georg to realise what had happened. Oh god!
Looking towards his wife, he found her looking at him as though he were a stranger. A monster.
"Darling, I apologise, I don't know what I was thinking!" he began, turning towards her to offer comfort. Finally, seeing clearly, he noticed that his wife was terrified of him. Of course, she would be. He didn't know a lot about her past but what she had told him meant he should have known better. Of course, she would be terrified, he was acting just like her father.
Scrambling backwards, tripping over her feet, Maria spat out "stay away from me, please, please don't hurt me! I'm sorry." Her breathing was shallow, and she could have sworn her heart was beating a path out of her chest.
Georg held his hands up and slowly walked towards her. Of course, the way he acted would bring back bad memories for her. What a fool!
"Darling," he gulped, tears in his eyes "I would never, ever hurt you. I would kill myself before anything ever happened to you. I'm sorry. Come on let's go inside. You're safe, I promise."
Maria wasn't listening, in fact she wasn't even breathing. She was almost positive she had forgotten how to breathe. She had never seen this side of him, and it unnerved her. She always assumed he wouldn't hurt her but for a moment she was sure he was going to. The world was starting to go fuzzy, and she felt drunk. In the distance she heard Georg calling her name. Her vision was going patchy, and she could hear TV static in her ears. Her neck felt like it couldn't support her head and her arms felt like lead.
He was terrified, he knew he had to snap her out of her shocked state quickly, but he couldn't get near her without her consent. God! He should have known better than to let his temper get the best of him. He had guessed about her abusive childhood. Stupid, stupid, man!
Running out of options, he called for Frau Schmidt, hating that he was embarrassed to be asking for help, and was relieved when Maria finally broke down in the older woman's arms. She may be sobbing her heart out but at least she was breathing again.
"Captain, I think we should call the doctor. I don't like the Baroness' colour at all!" Frau Schmidt whispered to the Captain from her position knelt at Maria's side.
"Yes, of course, I'll go and do that now. Please help the Baroness to the master suite and I will come up with the doctor." After saying his piece Georg went to the study, ready to brood for the next hour.
Half an hour later, he was stood outside the bedroom door of the master suite finally speaking to the doctor.
"The Baroness is in shock but appears to have sustained no other injuries, with plenty of rest tonight she should be feeling better in the morning." The doctor commented with a cheery lilt to his voice.
God, Georg hoped that he was right. He would never forgive himself if their relationship was ruined because of his temper and impatience.
"It would help to understand what triggered your wife's episode so we can prevent them in future…?"
Georg gave the doctor a sheepish look and quietly explained "we were having a heated discussion and I became angry".
When Georg's expression darkened, the doctor feared the worst. He asked gravely, "you hit her, did you?". He said it with the wisdom of a man who had been called to many houses to tend to injuries sustained from a husband's temper.
Georg's head snapped towards the doctor "of course, I didn't! I love her far too much" Georg defended before realising he was being far too unreasonable; the doctor was just doing his job. "I became angry and threw a vase. I think the aggression reminded her of her abusive childhood which must have triggered the episode. I tried to apologise but she didn't seem to hear me." Georg felt distraught.
The doctor was silent for a moment. Thinking.
"I see…well, keep an eye on her for a few days but from my experience, I would say she'll be right as rain in the morning", Georg wasn't convinced. "Good evening, Captain!" with a nod, the doctor followed Frau Schmidt down the hall.
Georg made his way to the large king bed he and Maria shared. She was still shaking but, unlike the continuous tremors she experienced previously, now she only experienced an occasional shudder. She was dwarfed by the huge quilt and the warm light from the lamp only emphasised her pallid skin.
"Maria?"
Georg flinched when she jumped at the sound of his voice. Taking a few tentative steps, he sat down on the bed so that she was facing him. He placed both of his hands in front of him so that she could see he was no threat and began his apology. When she practically flew off the bed, he quickly stood up and took a few steps back away from her. It felt like the cord between their hearts had just snapped.
"My darling, I am so sorry for my behaviour. I know that I must have dredged up awful memories for you and I will spend the rest of my life trying to make it up to you. I hope one day you can forgive me but just know" he stopped. He didn't know what to say, she looked like a scared animal. Where had his joyful, larger than life, wife gone? What had he done?
"Georg," she began firmly, "I was a little unnerved by your behaviour but it's okay," her cold tone was like a knife in his chest, "I forgive you" Georg knew she hadn't "Now if you don't mind, I am going to follow orders for once and get some rest." She ended with a shaky chuckle, trying to convince both him and herself that she was okay.
Georg responded with his own, admittedly weaker, chuckle and moved closer to her, trying to ignore it when he sensed her stiffen at his proximity.
"Okay, my love… I love you, Maria" he said trying to kiss her as they tended to do before they fell asleep. He was shocked when she turned away from him, but he tried not to let it show on his face. He failed.
"I'm sorry, Georg. I think I just need some space tonight." Maria said before turning over, trying to escape her husband's regretful gaze.
Surprised by the true depth of Maria's pain, it took Georg a moment before he registered what she had said. He knew his reaction to what she was asking of him would change the course of their relationship…potentially forever.
Making up his mind, Georg did the only thing he could think of that would comfort his wife. "That's completely understandable, darling. I'll sleep in the guest room tonight" he finished. "I love you more than anything, Maria" he left the room, ignoring her silence.