(A/N: Here's the second escape plan, and it's the first idea Peach mentioned to Mario in "We Can Work It Out". Let's get this chapter started so you can find out what would have happened if Peach had put this plan into play!)
Bowser's airship was currently flying through the Cloud Kingdom, en route to the Metro Kingdom. Bowser couldn't think of anything he wanted to steal from the Metro Kingdom. He simply wanted to stop off there and do something really mean and stupid: advertise his stupid wedding to Princess Peach all over New Donk City!
But if the people there didn't like the advertisements all over their city, then he was going to give them another problem, known as the Mechawiggler. And the Mechawiggler was going to absorb all of the city's electrical power! Now why was Bowser planning to do this if the people in the city hated the advertisements of his wedding all over the place? Because he's a big, fat, stupid jerk, that's why!
And because Bowser was so looking forward to this wedding of his, he outright refused to accept the fact that the bride didn't really want to marry him. Heck, she made it perfectly clear from the get-go that she never wanted anything to do with him! But he didn't care. He remained blissfully ignorant of that little fact.
Bowser, still clad in his fruity white wedding tux, was standing proudly out on the deck of his airship with a sad-looking Princess Peach by his side. But despite her sadness, the bride actually looked magnificent.
Peach was now wearing the Lochlady Dress, lovely white gloves, white high heels, and Tiara, who was quietly perched on her head in her tiara form. Peach had also done up her long, blonde hair in a ponytail. In her delicate hands was the Soirée Bouquet, which was dangerous, due to the Piranha Plants in it, constantly chomping at the air, probably wanting to bite her.
Peach was feeling very sad, for this had to be, without a doubt, the worst day of her life. She had been through absolute hell from the moment Bowser showed up at her castle. If only she had been sicker than a dog when she woke up on the day Bowser arrived. Whenever Peach got sick, she was to stay in bed until she recovered from her illness, and that could have prevented all of this from happening.
Not only did Bowser kidnap Peach and tell her they were getting married, he flicked her crown off of her head and replaced it with the frightened Tiara. Then he pretty much killed Mario right in front of her, and he kept her from recovering his hat, which she wanted to keep as a reminder of him. And then he went and forced her into the wedding dress because he was hell-bent on marrying her.
If that wasn't enough, Peach had also been put through unimaginable horrors since Bowser got his claws on her, and this was not at all how she had envisioned her wedding day. She was not exactly keen on having someone as ugly, boorish, and stupid as Bowser for her husband. Peach wanted to marry for love, not for what a king, prince, or any kind of nobleman could give her.
Peach also knew that as soon as she was married, she was going to be crowned the Queen of the Mushroom Kingdom. Peach wished Bowser wasn't royalty because she was told that if she married someone who wasn't of royal blood, then she and her husband would be known to their subjects as Queen and consort. She didn't want Bowser to be the king of her kingdom. Her people hated him as much as she did.
All Peach could do now was the same thing she did whenever things started looking really bleak for her. She silently begged the Star Spirits to please help her find a way out of the awful situation that she was in. However, she had a sinking feeling that the Star Spirits were going to be silent this time around because Mario was never going to be able to rescue her again. Bowser had made sure of that fact.
All of a sudden, a small, hat-shaped airship came flying close to Bowser's ship. Someone was catching up to him. Was this person good or bad? Peach didn't know, but whoever they were, maybe they could help her and Tiara escape from the Koopa King. Perhaps the Star Spirits had been listening to her pleas for help, after all. What a relief!
Peach looked closely at the approaching airship, to see if anyone was out on the deck. To her luck, there was someone standing out on the deck. The best part of this was the fact that she could see that the person was very familiar, and on a closer inspection, he turned out to be none other than...
"Mario! OMG, it's Mario! He's alive! Oh, thank you, Star Spirits!" Peach quietly exclaimed in relief and excitement. She was so elated to see that her red-clad boyfriend was still alive and kickin', not pushing daisies like she thought! She had been heartbroken when she saw Bowser's wedding hat hit him and send him flying clear out of the Mushroom Kingdom, but he lived! Now Peach's broken heart was on the mend!
Tiara, from her perch on Peach's head, seemed to be just as thrilled as her friend was about this, but for a different reason. She could see that Mario wasn't doing this alone, for floating next to him on the deck was her big brother, Cappy! Cappy and Mario were apparently working together to save both Peach and Tiara from Bowser's clutches!
"This is so exciting, Peach! Look! My big brother appears to be working with your boyfriend! You know what that means, don't you?! They're friends, like we are! And they're going to save us both from Bowser!" Tiara excitedly whispered to Peach.
"I know! I'm so happy right now, Tiara! I thought I was never going to see Mario again! I was very much afraid that Bowser had... done him in...!" Peach whispered back, tears welling in her lovely blue eyes as she looked at her beloved Mario standing on the deck of his own airship with Cappy at his side.
Both Mario and Cappy looked bound and determined to make Bowser sorry for messing with Peach and Tiara. They wanted him to pay!
"We're finally catching up to Bowser! Are you ready to help me teach him a little lesson he'll never forget?" Mario asked Cappy. Apparently, Mario's feathers were still ruffled after the battle he'd lost against the beast earlier on.
"You'd better believe I'm ready, Mario! It's time for us to reclaim my little sister, and your better half." Cappy replied to the plumber.
That's when Bowser finally noticed the new, smaller airship keeping up with his, and he could see that it was being piloted by a red-clad plumber and a Bonneter.
"No! That can't be! I killed Mario! He's not supposed to be alive!" Bowser thought when he spotted Mario on the other airship. As you might have guessed, Bowser wasn't all that happy about seeing Mario again. He was less than thrilled that Mario had survived being sent flying from his airship.
Mario then landed the Odyssey, disembarked, and jumped from some cloud-like platforms to what looked like some sort of battlefield among the fluffy clouds.
"Mario! I don't have time for you. I'm busy planning my wedding! Don't you know how stressful that is?!" Bowser asked, leaping onto the battlefield from the deck of his own airship.
"No, and I don't really give a rat's hat how stressful that is for you!" Mario began.
"Rat's hat?" Cappy wondered, confused. He always thought it was something else of a rat's that Mario wouldn't give. Oh well, Mario did lose his favorite hat to Bowser, so maybe that was why he said 'rat's hat'.
"Then again, I'm glad you're stressed. After all, you're the idiot who decided to plan every last detail of this shindig all alone, without any input from Peach!" Mario said.
"I don't want her input! I don't even need it! Anything she suggests would be more than enough to ruin what's supposed to be the happiest day of my... I mean... our lives!" Bowser said.
Peach wanted to start crying right then and there, now that she knew for sure that Bowser didn't care about her feelings or what she wanted at all. This wasn't the kind of person she wanted as her husband! She wanted a kind and gentle man who loved her and cared about her subjects.
Peach hoped Mario would save her quickly, because she knew for a fact that if she was going to get married, then she would much rather marry him. Perhaps she could ask Mario to marry her as soon as she was back in his arms again. At least Mario would care about her enough to let her have what she wanted if they were getting married.
"If you don't care about Peach's feelings, Bowser, then it's painfully obvious that you don't really love her like you want everyone else to think, and that also means a wedding between the two of you is completely out of the question!" Mario said.
"I do so love her! Her kingdom needs a king and a queen to rule it! By marrying her, I'm helping her kingdom get the monarchy it needs!" Bowser said.
"But in case you haven't noticed, she doesn't love you! And since you're not really in love with her, then it should be very easy for you to let her go, Bowser! You let my princess go right this second!" Mario demanded.
"No way, because she's not your princess anymore! She's going to be my wife, and I'm going to rule her kingdom whether or not she wants me to! But I'll tell you what: if you want her back so bad, then you're going to have to kill me first, and if you do that, you'll have to pry her from my cold, dead claws!" Bowser declared.
"Okay, so you're saying that if you want to die, today is a good day for it?" Cappy asked.
"No, I am not ready to die! I'm only saying that today is a good day for Mario to die because he'll never kill me!" Bowser said.
"That's what you think! Mario and I are going to win!" Cappy said.
"After he failed back in the Mushroom Kingdom-" Bowser started, only to be interrupted by Mario, who said, "That was just a cheap shot, Bowser! And it's the last one you're ever going to get!"
"It doesn't matter, plumber boy! Did you steal Peach away from me? NO! And now that we've met up again, I'd like to see you try to stop me!" Bowser replied.
"Oh, I can do that very easily, Bowser! Cappy and I will put an end to this wrong wedding of yours before it even begins!" Mario said.
"You tell him, Mario!" Peach and Tiara thought. They didn't want to be involved in Bowser's dumb ol' wedding in the first place. What was the use of being in an awful ceremony when Peach, the bride, one of the reasons a wedding is taking place, didn't get a single say in the matter?
"All right, Mario! If you think you can beat me so easily, then bring it on!" Bowser said, feeling more than confident that this battle would be a cakewalk, like the one that took place earlier on.
"Are you ready for this, Mario?" Cappy asked his friend.
"Do it, Cappy." Mario said.
Cappy turned into Mario's trademark hat, landing neatly on the plumber's head, and Mario was ready to engage Bowser in pitched combat.
"Do be careful, Mario..." Peach pleaded in her mind.
Then Bowser removed his stupid hat, made the boxing gloves come out of it, and donned it again. That wasn't good because the gloves sticking out of the hat on his head made him look so fruity it wasn't even funny! It would make his own kids turn sick to see him like that!
And then the battle began!
Realizing that Bowser had left the ship because he had allowed himself get sidetracked by deciding to have a battle with Mario, Peach suddenly had a realization, and a big smile spread across her pretty face.
"I'll never have a better chance!" Peach thought in excitement. Without a moment's hesitation, the princess dropped the Soirée Bouquet onto the floor of the deck and darted back into the airship as fast as she could.
"WHOA!" Tiara cried, so surprised by Peach's sudden move that she was left hanging in the air, spinning around for a moment. When she stopped spinning, Tiara assumed her Bonneter form and figured that Peach must have gone inside the airship, so she flew in there after her friend. She was still a little dizzy, but determined to find out just what Peach was up to.
When Tiara reached the bride's chamber, she lightly knocked on the door, asking, "Peach, are you in there?"
"You can't come in! I'm not decent!" Peach's voice replied from inside the room.
"But Peach, it's me; it's Tiara!" Tiara called.
"I know it's you, Tiara, but I am sorry; you cannot come in here right now. Not while I'm changing." Peach said.
"Changing? What are you changing into, Peach?" Tiara asked, confused.
"I'm changing out of this Lochlady Dress and back into my normal attire. You know, the outfit I was wearing before Bowser put me in the wedding dress." Peach replied.
"What?! But Peach, why are you doing that?! Bowser will get very angry with you if he sees that you changed back into your pink dress! He'll rip it off of you again and force you back into the Lochlady Dress like you said he did!" Tiara said. She couldn't understand just why Peach would change back into her normal dress when Bowser had absolutely no intention of letting her leave.
"Didn't you see it, Tiara? Bowser let Mario distract him! He's much too busy battling Mario to look back at the ship to see if I'm still on the deck or not! I may not have another chance to change back and escape his clutches, so I'm going to seize the opportunity while I can! As soon as I'm back in my usual attire, I'm leaving this ship!" Peach exclaimed in excitement.
"You're leaving?! In that case... Please take me with you, Peach! Don't leave me here all alone! I don't want to have to deal with Chowderhead McGee all by myself!" Tiara begged.
"Don't worry, Tiara. I saw your brother out there with Mario, and I heard you say that they're coming to save us. Of course you're coming with me." Peach replied, giggling at the insulting name Tiara had given Bowser.
"Oh, thank you, Peach! Thank you so much! I was afraid that you were going to leave me here with that awful, hateful monster!" Tiara cried.
"Friends don't leave friends stuck with a brainless lunatic who kidnaps them and tries to destroy their kingdom, Tiara." Peach said as she opened the door, dressed in her normal pink dress, her normal gloves, and her red high heels. She also let her hair down.
"You truly are one of the best friends I've ever had, Peach. How are you feeling now that you're in your normal attire again?" Tiara asked her friend.
"Better. Well... actually, I feel a little naked without my crown, but I'm afraid that can't be helped right now." Peach replied, before instructing her friend, "Take your place on my head again."
Tiara turned back into a tiara, landing neatly on Peach's head, and then the princess said, "Okay, now let's get back to the deck! I just hope Bowser's still distracted in battle, or knocked out good so I can get away from him with no problems."
Peach ran back out to the airship's deck just in time to see that Mario had sent Bowser flying into the airship's cannons, and then he was fired onto the deck, next to her. The battle was officially over, and Mario and Cappy were the victors.
"Oh my!" Peach gasped to herself when she saw Bowser land on the floor of the deck with his eyes closed.
"Ha! Check and mate!" Mario said to Cappy on his head. Both of them looked quite pleased that, like their battles against the Broodals, Knucklotec, and Torkdrift, the battle had ended in their favor.
Seeing that Bowser appeared to be unconscious (or maybe he was dead), Peach knew she had to go now. This may be her last chance to make her getaway from a lifetime of unhappiness. She backed up a bit before taking a running start and shouting, "Mario, I'm coming!"
At the sound of her voice, Mario looked up to see Peach running towards the edge of the airship's deck, and then she dove off of the ship.
"Mama-mia!" Mario exclaimed in surprise, and he began to run in the direction of Bowser's airship to catch his woman. He knew for a fact that he would never be able to catch Peach in time, so while he ran, he quickly threw Cappy forward, and Cappy spun around in the area where Peach was about to fall so he could prevent the princess from falling to her doom.
Peach bounced off of Cappy, which sent her flying closer to where Mario was. Then Cappy swiftly flew back to Mario, who replaced the Bonneter on his head before catching Peach in his arms, which caused a triumphant fanfare to play.
"Stai bene, mia cara principessa? Are you okay, my darling princess?" Mario asked Peach in a concerned whisper as he held her close to him.
"Oh, Mario... You never called me your darling princess before, but yes. I'm okay now." Peach replied with a smile, her face turning as red as a Double Cherry as she noticed how close her face was to Mario's. She so wanted to kiss him...
"I called you that because it's true. You really are mia cara principessa, my darling princess..." Mario whispered, giving the princess a look of absolute love.
"You have no idea how happy I am to hear you say that, and to be with you again... This is almost too good to be true..." Peach said, hugging him tightly.
"I know, Peach. Being able to hold you again is like un sogno diventato realtà, a dream come true." Mario whispered as he tightened his hold on Peach, glad to have her back in his arms once again.
(A/N: The only reason Mario is whispering is because there was a good chance Bowser might still be conscious, and he doesn't want Bowser to hear him sweet-talking Peach in Italian. The villain might try to use those loving words on her during another kidnapping.)
At that precise moment, Bowser came to, and he was flabbergasted when he saw that not only was Mario still standing, he was now holding Princess Peach, clad in her pink dress again, in his arms! But instead of getting mad at the plumber, he knew that Peach had changed and gotten into Mario's arms on her own, so he decided to yell at her instead.
"PRINCESS PEACH! What in the world do you think you're doing down there with that lousy Mario?! You're marrying me, remember?! Get your pretty little fanny back on this airship and put that wedding dress back on right now, missy!" Bowser demanded, startling the couple.
"No way! I hate you, Bowser, and I simply refuse to marry someone I hate!" Peach replied, and she kissed Mario on the lips to prove her point. Mario, sensing what Peach wanted, started responding to her kiss. In fact, while they were kissing, the couple decided to make a show of it, just to really get Bowser's goat. And it was working, too.
"MARIO! If you're smart, you'll get your stupid, fuzzy lips off of the princess and give her back to me! She's supposed to be my bride, not yours! Do it now!" Bowser yelled.
Mario broke off the kiss long enough to say, "Hey, Bowser, maybe you didn't notice, but she's the one who started kissing me! I'm only returning the favor! Besides, I think Peach prefers these fuzzy lips over your dry, scaly ones any day!"
"And you're right, Mario. I do prefer yours. I always have." Peach smiled happily. And that was true. His lips were soft and warm, and his mustache tickled her whenever they kissed. Then Mario and the princess started kissing again, pretending not to be aware of Bowser's anger. Served him right!
Bowser was so angry, he looked as though he was going to pop several blood vessels if he didn't come up with a way to calm himself down.
"I mean it! You two stop this ridiculous nonsense right now, or else!" Bowser demanded.
Mario and Peach sighed in annoyance as they broke off their make-out session. Bowser needed to realize that 'or else' was an empty threat; one he'd never be able to carry out this time around, and for a very good reason.
"Or else what? You might want to watch what you're doing, Bowser! I've got Peach with me this time, and as long as I'm holding her, you can't hurt me because you'll only end up hurting her, maybe even killing her in the process! You know that you can't marry the princess if she's dead!" Mario warned.
Bowser wanted to retort, but unfortunately for him, Mario was right. If he wasn't careful, Peach could get hurt, or even killed. If he killed Peach, her people would want him dead! And he would never be able to live with himself if the princess died with Mario!
"And even if I was lucky enough to survive or escape serious injuries, everyone else would hear about what you did (or tried to do) to me. It doesn't even matter if it was a complete accident, or an honest mistake! They would never, ever let you get close to me again!" Peach said.
That was also true. Peach's subjects would definitely come up with some way to keep Bowser away from their princess for good if she survived. They might do something really bad, like shoot him down if he got close to where Peach was! So he had to think of something else to say in order to get Peach back.
"Just... give Peach back to me, and I won't be hurting anybody!" Bowser said, even though he was lying through his big, yellow teeth. He was totally planning to fire the cannons at Mario as soon as he got Peach back in his filthy, disgusting claws.
"Don't do it, Mario. He's lying to you. I know he is. He will hurt you if he gets me back, and I don't want that to happen! My heart just about broke when I thought he killed you back in the Mushroom Kingdom, and he even let your hat get destroyed! I would much rather die than marry him!" Peach whispered to Mario.
"I'm not going to let you go with him, Peach. I know how much you hate his revolting guts." Mario whispered back.
"I love you, Mario." Peach whispered.
"Ti amo anch'io, mia principessa. I love you, too, my princess." Mario replied in a whisper, giving her a quick peck on the cheek, which only made Peach cuddle closer to him.
"Mario! Stop kissing my future wife and give her back to me already!" Bowser demanded.
"You want her back so badly, Bowser?! Then you'll just have to come and take her from me!" Mario declared, and he started running back to the Odyssey with Peach still in his arms.
Even though Bowser was a giant, lumbering moron who could move pretty fast, he knew that even if he jumped ship, there was no way he could catch Mario and Peach this time around, and it wasn't just because Mario got a big head-start. Mario was small, and he could run faster than Bowser any day, even when he's carrying the princess in his arms.
Bowser was so angry that he almost ordered the cannons to be fired right then, but he realized it and stopped himself in the nick of time, because he knew there was no way he could allow Peach to get hurt, or killed. If that happened, it would be his fault. He could blame Mario all he wanted, but it wouldn't change the fact that Mario wasn't the one who fired the cannons.
All Bowser could do after that was watch helplessly as Mario and Peach boarded the Odyssey and began making their way back to the Mushroom Kingdom. With no other good ideas on how to get Peach (safely) back at present, Bowser called up the Broodals and told them that the wedding was cancelled due to Mario running away with the bride, so they had to come to his ship and get ready to return all the stuff they had stolen so far.
The Broodals weren't exactly thrilled about what they were going to have to do now, but they sighed and dutifully flew back to Bowser's airship to get the stolen items so they could take them back to their respective kingdoms for him.
"Hey, where's dat treasure we stole from da Cap Kingdom?" Topper asked as he and his siblings gathered up the Binding Band, the Lochlady Dress, and the Soirée Bouquet, ready to take them back to their respective kingdoms.
"I don't really know where that one went. But my guess is that maybe Peach decided to keep it when she left. If she did, then that proves she still loves me, because I'm the one who gave it to her." Bowser said, feeling a little happy as he realized that Tiara was missing.
"Or maybe she bonded with it and decided she would take it back there herself to save us the trouble of doing so." Rango suggested.
The Broodals didn't really know what happened to Tiara, but they agreed to put back the items they had stolen for the wedding that would never happen. And then they had some bad news for Bowser: even though the wedding wasn't going to happen, he was going to have to pay them for taking those things for the wedding, and for taking them back.
Well, Bowser didn't want to pay them because they were the ones who failed to kill Mario for him. The Broodals didn't like that, so they made it easy for him when they called Madame Broode and told her what was going down. Bowser found out what mad was when they were told to put him on. Needless to say, Madame Broode chewed Bowser out over the phone until he agreed to pay up.
While Mario and Peach were flying back to the Mushroom Kingdom, Mario and Cappy told Peach and Tiara how they met and agreed to work together in order to save them from Bowser.
Peach and Tiara told Mario and Cappy about how evil Bowser was. Cappy couldn't believe what Bowser had put the girls through, but Mario didn't seem too surprised by some of the things Bowser had done.
"Mario, can you believe the nerve of that guy?" Cappy asked Mario.
"I've heard about these stunts of his time and again, Cappy. What he's done to Peach and your sister is nothing new to me." Mario said.
But then Peach brought up some things that were entirely new, and Mario couldn't believe his ears!
"Okay, now I'm really glad we got you away from that creep! After changing you into that wedding dress with no problems, it's obvious that Bowser wouldn't think twice before attempting to... violate you..." Mario said to Peach.
"And the worst part was whenever he'd roar and laugh really loudly! I know he was trying to make me go deaf so whether or not you did save me, I'd never hear him coming, or hear the sound of your voice again!" Peach said, feeling sad.
"Mama-mia! If you were deaf, then that cretino would be able to assault you with no problems!" Mario said.
"I'm going to ask the Royal Physician for a hearing test when we get home, but until we get there, I have something very important I want to ask you." Peach said.
"Okie-dokie. Go for it." Mario said, all ears.
Peach got down on one knee, which caused Mario, Cappy, and Tiara to look surprised.
"I actually wanted to ask you this question a long time ago, but every time I thought about it, I would lose my nerve. However, seizing the opportunity to change back into my own dress and jump from Bowser's airship took guts I didn't even know I had! Now I've got the courage to say the words I've been meaning to say to you. I love you, Mario. Will you marry me?" Peach asked.
Mario was genuinely shocked when he realized that Peach asked him the big question. This was the most exciting thing that had ever happened to him!
"Sai cosa? You know what, Peach? Once I realized that Bowser had decided that he was going to force you to marry him, I actually had thoughts of asking you the big question myself. As soon as I rescued you from an unhappy marriage you didn't want to be a part of, that is." Mario told her.
"Really, Mario? I never would have guessed! So, what do you say? Do you want to marry me and spend the rest of your life with me as my husband?" Peach eagerly asked.
"Even though you beat me to the question, let me give you the answer I was hoping to get from you: I will!" Mario exclaimed.
"YES!" Peach squealed in excitement. The day may have started out bad for her, but she got the courage to change the outcome and make it happy!
"Oh, cara mia, my darling! I love you so much!" Mario said as he gave Peach a big hug.
"I don't have a ring on me right now, but we can pick one out for you when we get home! Until then, we're going to seal this engagement another way!" Peach said.
"And I know just the way we can do it!" Mario said. Then he and Peach sealed their engagement with a passionate kiss, oblivious to the loud "AWWWWW!" coming from two excited Bonneters named Cappy and Tiara.
Several months later, Mario and Peach were married in a big ceremony in the Mushroom Kingdom. The best part was that Bowser didn't show up at the wedding because Mario and Peach kept that news on the down-low to prevent him from finding out and ruining their special day. And it was a very happy wedding, because this time, Peach actually got a say in the plans for this one.
The End
So, what do you think? Peach saw her chance to escape, and she went for it! That's using the old, royal noodle! If you wish to see three more ways Peach could have escaped from Bowser, then stay tuned!