A/N: Thank you for the reviews, follows, and favorites. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter.

Disclaimer: Anything familiar belongs to Stephanie Meyer

Bella POV

Time heals all wounds, at least that's what I've heard but this ache grew as time sped by. Every waking moment I tried to reach Jacob to no avail, I even resorted to writing letters but nothing. Two months had passed, and nothing seemed to make sense without him, me and Edward were supposed to get married a month ago but postponed it until I was in a better head space, but nothing seemed to help.

Today was the day, the day I was to be promised to be with someone else for the rest of eternity but instead of being excited I was sick to my stomach figuratively and literally, I spent the better part of the morning with my head in the toilet.

"Rise and shine sleeping beauty, I have come to prepare you for your special day" Alice squealed as she entered the restroom "are you ok?" she asked, taking in my appearance.

"I'm fine…just pre-wedding jitters" it was more than jitters, I felt like my entire body was screaming don't do this.

"Well hopefully after you see how everything has come together those jitters will subside…nails first, dress, then hair" she stated ushering me to the vanity.

As Alice did my nails, I just wanted everything to stop, this wedding, this pain everything.

"Earth to Bella, it is time to put on your dress" she said. After to attempting to put me in the dress she realized it wouldn't fit

"Interesting… I took your measurements, and this was specifically made for you, but humans change I guess…nothing a little tailoring can't fix" with that she quickly let the room.

After altering my dress it was finally time for the ceremony I clung to Charlie's arm hoping he would take me and run but I knew he wouldn't, I had told him I was in love up until the very moment, as we made our descend down the aisle I locked eyes with Edward, there he was waiting for me at the end of the isle he looked so handsome and happy, I tried to match his energy.

When I finally made it to him, I wanted to turn back but I couldn't. It was too late as the officiant began all I could think about was Jacob, the person that could make my dark days bright my personal sun.

"Bella, I have spent my whole life looking for my other half, I knew it was you from the moment we met, you are my person, my inspiration, my love, and my everything. Today we are exchanging vows of our love, but we are also exchanging promises of our compassion and our devoted adoration of one another. Forever with you simply will not be enough, but from this day forward, I vow to make the most of every moment, I cannot wait to spend a lifetime loving you." he said, smiling down at me.

I felt my heart clench, I was none of those beautiful things he said I was selfish, and too busy wallowing in self-pity to write my own vows Alice wrote them for me "Edward You love and complete me in ways I never knew possible. From this day forth, I promise to listen to you and learn from you, to support you and accept your support. I will celebrate your successes and mourn your losses as though they were my own. I will love you, my husband, and rejoice in your love for me for all the years of our lives." I sobbed I wasn't sure if they were happy tears or not, after our vows the 'I dos 'followed even though my mind was screaming I don't.

The reception was just beautiful as the ceremony, and you could tell no expense was spared I almost felt out of place because everything was so perfect.

"You look beautiful" Edward whispered in my ear as we danced.

"You look amazing I look…bloated" recalling Alice having to let out my dress.

"Never, you are simply perfect" he declared as he spun me.

We danced the night away I could feel the high energy and love radiating through the room, but I couldn't help but to be anxious. The night I have dreamed of being with Edward in an intimate way put me on edge.

After the reception everything seemed to speed by, it was if I blinked, and we were arriving at St. Lucia.

We were greeted by the friendly staff who helped us settle in our bungalow.

"Edward I- "

"I know you want to make love, but I feel as though we should enjoy the island first" he quipped.

"you're right." I quickly agreed I still wanted to, right? Because that is my husband and I love him

We spent the first few days exploring the island. We went hiking in the rainforest, swimming in the waterfalls and sailing on the ocean everything was perfect except I felt like I couldn't focus on anything but Jacob, so I decided to finally take the leap and sleep with Edward, I dressed in this burgundy lace lingerie piece and sauntered into the room trying to seem as sexy as I could tripping on air in the process.

"Edward I'm ready" I said shakily not knowing if I was truly ready.

"Are you sure?" he questioned as he scooped me up and gently sat me on the bed.

"Yes… I want to experience this with you before I get turned "

"We can wait…I don't want to hurt you."

I just kissed him in response to his concern. I was gentle and soft, but I wanted so much more I deepened the kiss but felt him pull away slightly. I wanted for once him to not act like I was going to break and make love to me.

After a moment we found a rhythm that worked for us slow yet deliberate, every knew part of my skin he explored felt as thought I was experiencing an ice bath which shocked me in certain instances, I had to have this moment with my husband, but it was nothing like the moments with me and Jacob

Jacob POV

Being away from Bella felt like I was dying inside but she chose what she wanted in life, and it wasn't me. She tried to reach out to me, but I couldn't allow myself to respond, I couldn't allow myself to be someone's second option she was married and dead that's it. I was in misery for what seemed like a lifetime until I met Bow.

*Flash back*

I sat in the sand at the beach alone. With nothing but my thoughts, I couldn't believe the love of my life was going to die, well become a vampire but it was all the same to me.

"Can I join you" an unfamiliar voice chimed.

"no" I snipped.

"Cool… I'm Rainbow but I go by Bow…and you are?" she said sitting next to me.

"Not interested in small talk" why wouldn't she get a clue.

"Grumpy… it's ok the feistier the better its good for character and I like my friends to have a little personality." She said smiling at me.

"I don't want or need your friendship" I huffed growing slightly irritated at the fact she wasn't catching the hint.

"no one needs friends… they are just good to have especially when you're feeling alone" she noted, removing the small bag off her back, taking out a sandwich.

"Would you like a piece … it's turkey and cheddar because people who eat ham honestly scare me."

"So… people who eat bacon must make you want to jump out of your skin" I stated raising an eyebrow she replied she an exaggerated shudder.

"They are absolutely maniacal." She said wrapping her arms around herself which made me chuckle.

"Oh, wow he has a personality…and a really amazing smile which you should do more often, Mr. mystery" she said ripping her sandwich in half handing me a piece.

"it's Jake."

*End flashback*

She made everything easier, Bella's name still brought pain, but having Bow around made it bearable.

"What are you thinking about" Bow said wrapping her arms around me.

"you"

"Well good I was beginning to think you found something more interesting to run through your mind" she said giving me a peck on the cheek, we just enjoyed each other's company we had no labels Except that we were good friends and I appreciate that she understood my heart was stilling healing.

"Breakfast is ready and of course I added the real villain of the day bacon" she giggled leaving the room.

It has been a total of four months since I last heard from Bella or the Cullen's and everything was ok for the first time in a long time, me and Bow were happier than ever, we confessed to each other about who we were she accepted my wolf and wasn't too sure about what she was but we were working through it, Sam and Emily welcomed there first baby girl Sonnet, no more young wolves phased, and Paul imprinted on my sister Rachel which I wasn't to fond of. We were heading for patrol, but Seth was avoiding phasing with me.

"What is your problem" I huffed; I wasn't in the mood for his games.

"Nothing… I would rather do patrol with Leah" he said shuffling his feet.

"Seth you might as well tell me whatever you're hiding so we can start patrol."

"I can't" he stated.

"why"

"Because I promised someone."

"Who?!" I was annoyed, this back and forth was getting us no where and I wanted to start patrolling so I could get back to Bow.

"…." He stared at me blankly as if he forgot this whole conversation.

"Who damnit!" I exclaimed.

"…"

"Seth, I swear if you don't answer me" I sneered beginning to shake.

"Bella" he said quickly his voice barely above a whisper.

"Why the hell would she come back… she can't possibly think it's a good idea to be a blood sucker around Charlie!"

"she's not" he said.

She wasn't a blood sucker. What happened? Why was she back? The pain came flooding back as if a scab was ripped off a barely healed wound, she was back and didn't want me to know.

Bella POV

Four months, two weeks, and three days without my best friend but who is counting. Everything was supposed to be perfect, but it was far from it.

*Flash back*

After our honeymoon, we came back and settled into our cabin the Cullen's made for us, but I was still uneasy about the decision I had just made.

"Welcome home my love" Edward whispered bringing me into the house.

"it's beautiful."

"Yes…Alice made sure you had an entire wardrobe of course"

"of course," I grumbled truthfully; I don't think I wanted any of this anymore.

"what's on your mind" he said taking my hand into his

"I-I think I want more time" I stammered trying to find the right words.

"More time?" he inquired.

"More time with Charlie… more time with Renee, more time with friends" I sighed.

"More time with Jacob" he stated his face blank of any emotion.

"More time to be me" I retorted. I needed more time to think, Jacob couldn't be my only thought for the rest of my marriage.

"ok" he said.

"Ok?" I questioned I was confused at his calm expression.

"Yes…that is all I ever wanted for you… to have normal life experiences so if that is what you desire, I support you completely" he said.

"I want to go to college and…stay with Charlie while I attend" I did want to stay with Charlie, it felt like our time together was getting cut short.

"If that is what you want…can I come visit you?" he asked, a pained expression replacing the calm one.

"maybe" I said truthfully, I had no idea if I wanted to see him as soon as I began staying with Charlie, I just needed space.

*End flashback*

Staying with Charlie had put my mind slightly at ease. Seth would be there often, and he would tell me about everyone including Jacob, I didn't want to hurt him anymore, so I told him not to tell him I was here. I wasn't ready to face him yet because I still couldn't figure out my own emotions, so I decided to just focus on school and Charlie.

"Charlie breakfast is ready!" I yelled that I loved cooking for Charlie because he made me feel needed.

"What are we having" he said sitting down at the table.

"Blueberry waffles, bacon, and home fries… and I am having toast" I stated putting our plates in front of us.

"No eggs or anything?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"nope" just the thought of eggs made my stomach turn.

"Bella I am going to be working late at the station will you be, ok?" he asked, grabbing his items for work.

"Yes, Seth should be over later…we are planning to watch all the Screams."

Later that night I began setting up for me and Seth's movie night I couldn't wait to decompress with the brother I never had, loud banging snapped me out of my train of thought.

"Geez Seth relax" I said making my way to the door to open in. Instead of Seth there stood Jacob with a murderous look on his face.

"Why are you here?" I heard myself say but my voice was barely above a whisper.

"I could ask you the same thing" he snapped pushing past me to enter the house.

"I came to be here for Charlie…to go to college…to live."

"You could have fooled me…are the Cullen's- "

"gone" I said completing his sentence they decided to travel and wat for me to graduate, it took some convincing for Edward to leave with them, but he ensured me he would check in.

"You should have left with them" he stated.

"I need more time with Charlie."

"You are just going to hurt him in the end when you become a filthy bloodsucker" his words were sharp he was trying to hurt me, and I deserved it.

"I'm not" I squeaked trying to hold back tears.

"Why? Your filthy leach doesn't want too anymore."

"No because… b-because I'm pregnant…and he doesn't know." I sobbed. I had hoped that this conversation would just end, I never wanted him to find out especially this way.