A/N: Hello, all! I just recently started re-watching Fawlty Towers and thought...how amazing a crossover series with Keeping Up Appearances it would have been! So of course I came here to see if anyone had like ideas and was disappointed so see the KUAxFT crossover section is dead! Hence I decided to post this in the regular KUA section, because it's mostly about Hyacinth anyway. But isn't it always?

"Mr. and Mrs. Wilton-Smythe are going to Belize this summer. How common and unoriginal."

Hyacinth Bucket (pronounced Bouquet, dear) sniffed as she finished reading the society column in the Binley Woods Herald and tossed it, and the rest of the newspaper, aside.

"I haven't finished reading the paper yet, Hyacinth," Richard protested.

Hyacinth went on as if she hadn't heard him and swept his cup of tea and plate of cinnamon-and-sugar toast away. Richard sighed heavily. That could only mean one thing. Hyacinth was up to some new scheme. One involving the Wilton-Smythes, doubtlessly.

"Richard, we are going into town to visit the travel agent!" Hyacinth declared.

Of course.

"All right, Hyacinth," Richard said obediently. "Let's go."

"Oh, we can't go yet," Hyacinth said imperiously. "I have to change."

"The dress you're wearing is fine, Hyacinth," Richard countered, eyeing Hyacinth in her immaculately ironed, rose-printed dress.

A look of shock spread across Hyacinth's face and she gave her husband a disapproving shake of her head.

"I wore this the last time we were at Beaumont's," she exclaimed, referring to their small town's sole travel agency. "I can't have them thinking that I frequently wear the same dress."

"But you do wear the same dress, often," Richard foolishly interjected.

"Yes, but they needn't know that. They might not offer their most exclusive vacations if they think we're so economical as to re-wear the same clothing on the regular."

"But we can't afford 'their most exclusive vacations'!"

"Do stop being so objective, Richard. It really is unbecoming. They don't need to know we can't afford expensive vacations. We just have to look like we can."

Richard bit back a remark about saving italics for the rest of the world, and nodded with resigned obedience.

Richard yawned as Hyacinth flipped through various guidebooks and advertisements for holiday vacation packages. She bragged to the travel agent that of course they could travel to Seychelles or Paris but they were trying to "practice modesty and frugality, as in the Bible", and he'd been hard pressed not to laugh.

"Well, we have something that is both modest and exotic," the flustered travel agent said. "We have a package for a vacation in Torquay that is sensible, but very popular. The package includes three days' lodging, an allowance for dinner at local restaurants, and yachting lessons with light refreshments afterward."

"Yes, we could do that," Hyacinth said. "But what is the sort of place we'll be staying in? It must be a quality place."

There was a brief beat and the agent's smile faltered for a moment, before she plastered the smile back on. She pushed a brochure forward. Hyacinth gazed at a picture of a cozy-looking hotel set in rural countryside and nodded in approval.

"A rural sort of place," she said. "Like our flat in the countryside."

Continuing, she read the brochure:

FAWLTY TOWERS

Torquay's premium luxury hotel

-Spacious rooms with modern amenities

-Beautiful forest and riverside views

-In-house restaurant with trained chef

-First class lounge

Hyacinth nodded in approval.

"We'll do this vacation, Richard! To Torquay and Fawlty Towers!"