How did it all come to this...she was so strong just a few months ago, I still can't make sense of it all, this blasted life makes me just utterly furious...I feel so broken inside, and have no one to turn to...sure I could reach out to Judy...but feel like I would only make her sad with my words of pain and hurt."
Nick was in a funk and saw no end in sight, his eyes fixed to his computer as he thought of the words to type for his report of the week, His mother had passed two weeks ago from liver failure and he was still angry and hurt from it all.
The fox of forty years chewed the inside of his mouth in silent rage and animosity at this complex cluster fuck of feelings aimed at no one and everyone, he wanted to be left alone but knew that was a recipe for utter disaster.
"Get it together Nick, your stronger than this...ugh for fuck sake why?!"
He blurted out in his study, his anger getting the best of his already fragile emotions, he could feel himself slipping into a dark corner of a room, with a bottomless pit below him.
The fox sighed and leaned back while running his hands through unkempt fur that had yet been washed that day, Nick was never a sloth when it came to his personal hygienic routine, but as of late lacked any real care for himself.
Nick was about to lash out in anger when he heard his doorbell ring a soft chime of bird calls.
"Oh just great, please tell me it's not carrots, or better yet chief, they have been blowing up my phone and wont take the damned hint."
He noted with an annoyed grunt while pushing the simple chair under the desk and made his way towards the front door, his anxiety taking grip as he wondered with silent dread at who could be waiting for him.
The bell chimed again with a different set of calls, making him role his eyes, had to be Judy from the lack of patience and humming coming from the other side, he strode the last few feet in a sliding shuffle and yawned, his lack of sleep making itself known this late in the evening, now that he thought about it, the time was way too late for her to be seeing him, and with his apartment being being close to hers, he wondered why she would be here at this time of night.
Nick grasped the door knob and proceeded to open the solid oak framed door, hearing its report of a soft creak, his ears perked up at the noise, he looked down to spot his correct guess staring back up at him with worried eyes of dark purple.
"Oh crud, her eyes...I could get lost in those beautiful...pull your head out of the gutter Wilde, this is your work friend and nothing more…"
He lamented while holding his blank look, her small petite frame seemed full of energy and bounce, and held an air of concern for her coworker.
"Hey Nick...uh look...we're all getting worried about ya hun.. you've called in twice the last two days, and wont pick up the phone."
He nodded and yawned, his mind running into auto pilot as he mustered up something to placate her worries and whatnot, he really didn't want to deal with this right now and needed a simple excuse, but before he could begin she cut him off with a knowing look, he closed his mouth as the words died in his throat.
"And don't think you'll lie your way out this one mister, I know you too well by now, so save your words."
He blinked and relented with a knowing grunt, she was too smart for her own good, another one of those hustle moments that took him by surprise he noted with a sour mewl dying in his mouth, he liked her wit but damn it got under his fur something awful some days.
She proceeded to make her self at home with a simple push past his frame and made way to the small foyer living room/dining room combo, it was simple with sparse furnishings and very little for others, almost like a den of sorts, he seemed to be a lonely person and it concerned her somewhat at his mindset.
She hummed at the laid back feel of his cozy little apartment, she liked the layout and took a seat on his queen sized bed with a grunt, it was rather firm for her but would make due for now, Nick felt odd at the doe's sudden intrusion of his private den and blinked at the gall she had.
"She is crazy I swear...but that's what makes her so appealing to me I suppose, the air of mystery that is around her makes me wanna know more about her."
He blinked and shook the thought away with a frown, no time for that stuff he muttered to himself while closing the door behind him softly and moved forward to the bedroom to sit in his large lounge chair and faced her, her face taking on a look of soft pink.
"Oh cheese and crackers...I just barged my way into his house and sat on the bed like I owned the place, crud what is wrong with me…"
She felt her face heat up more as a wave of lewd thoughts overwhelmed her brain, having a small crush on Nick for these last few years made her all that more flustered, she hadn't planned on even coming in but felt it was right considering her worry for him.
"Look Nick...you need to tell me what's going on, I understand that your still hurting from this...trust me death is not something you saw coming, neither did I to be frank, but your scaring me, and you don't look well at all."
She stated, eyes falling to the floor in fear of bringing to the forefront such a tender subject, Judy was not one to beat around the proverbial bush so to speak, and wanted to get to the source of the problem than rather play twenty questions with someone who was rather witty when he wanted to be.
Nick's eyes took on a dark look, being assaulted with fresh memories of that day hurt like a dull knife to his chest.
Flashback.
He made his way to a room marked closed, the area blocked off with medical staff rushing in a frenzy to save a resident, he looked to the door frame and felt his heart sink.
Mary Ann Wilde.
The staff doing all they could to help her from suffering anymore, the medicine having very little effect on her ailing body, he waited for what seemed like hours to be able to go in, the smell of strong chemicals flooding his senses, he walked to the far side of the door and waved the medical staff to move back, they seemed somber and defeated.
He made his way into the room and approached her bed, she looked to her son and weakly smiled, she had held on long enough for him to make it in.
"...Nicky, son, come here."
"Mom, please save your strength."
"Don't sass me boy… son, you have become so much of a man these last few years, taking charge of your life and being a real man, even with the odds stacked against you… Nick, you made me so proud to be your mother."
He could feel himself lose hope as her voice began to waiver, knowing in his heart that this was it, he screamed to the gods above to fix her some how or for this to be a bad dream and to wake up.
"… Mom I love you so much, and don't worry about me okay, I'll make it."
He sobbed out, his eyes stinging with hot tears as he looked to grab her hand, she reached out and took his with a firm and shockingly tight grasp, he sobbed and knelt down to be eye level.
The staff looked on with a range of mixed emotions, some looked away in respect of the tender moment, others walked away to keep from crying.
Nick pleaded with the heavens to help her cross over smoothly, and as if he had someone hearing his thoughts, she slowly lost her grip and relaxed, the soft beep of a heart monitor going into a solid noise of flat.
Nick blinked away hot tears as he recalled pouring his soul out to Judy, she was beside him in the large chair holding his hands in a reassuring matter, he don't recall her being there… but was glad she had moved over to him, the man had broke down and retold that day in detail for her, she soothed him with quite nothings, assuring him it was okay and that he needed this.
Judy had shed her own tears as he shuddered out sobs of pain and grief, his whole body shaking in shock and hurt at recalling the day.
The man looked down in silent thought, unsure of how to ask her this next part, he was lonely and needed someone to keep him company, if only for the night.
"Judy… I'm so sorry for this, you needed to know what happened… you've been beside me for many years now, and I owe it to you to be more open about things…"
He sighed out while gathering himself, this could make or break their friendship with a simple request, nothing lewd of course, he hadn't the nerve to be so forward with her, even as he had feelings for her over five years now, but feared rejection more than most things.
He turned his soft gaze to her hers and spoke.
"Look… is there anyway, that you could spend the night here, and keep me company carrots… I understand this is rather sudden but I'm scared of being alone for now, and in no shape to be by myself."
The man stated with a downcast look to his emerald eyes, he knew her response but wasn't too sure of it, part of him feared she would shrug him off as being a paranoid man who needed to 'grow up' somewhat.
Judy felt her ears flatten as she pondered the pros and cons of such a question.
"Oh man… now this was tricky, he needs someone here that is plain to see, but why me… he needs professional help and a real therapist, not some dumb bunny with no real experience with loss, sure I've been to a few funerals… but those where distant cousins, this was far more advanced and will take time, but knowing him… he refusing our help with state resources means he wants someone close to him to be there, and I get why… damn this is gonna be hell to explain to the chief tomorrow morning."
Judy inwardly groaned at the perfect attendance being shattered, but felt this was far more important than some damn award, she already had three to show off, one day isn't gonna kill the city… she hoped with a nervous chuckle.
"Sure hun… I'll stay, but please go take a shower, your musk is strong as hell."
She added with a light laugh, but was deep down turned on by the scent of pine and soft rain.
Nick turned away in silent embarrassment and got up, noting that he did have somewhat of a scent that lingered around him, he turned to her and smiled warmly, knowing that she meant well and was trying to cheer him up.
His robe haphazardly thrown on reveled a disheveled state, boxers of long hid his manhood well enough, but that didn't stop her from sneaking a peak from time to time as he strolled in the room gathering his stuff for a shower.
"Oh for crying out loud… this is too much, was that his… cheese and crackers Judy, get a hold of yourself, you drooling horny mess."
The senior officer groaned to herself while clenching her hips in silent protest, this would be a long ass night by the looks of it, normally being in control of her inner self, made this all the more erratic to her half asleep mind.
"Damn she is raging down there tonight, like wow… whelp this was gonna be fun to say the least, gonna sleep in the foyer room up top and pray I sleep."
"Hey Judy… you don't have any sleep wear…"
Nick stated with small frown, his rash choices already having an unforeseen aftermath, he turned and tossed her a large over sized band shirt, it landing beside the chair and breaking her of a daze.
"Ah cheese Nick, 'bout made my heart jump through the ribs!"
He turned to her and blushed awkwardly, forgetting this is not work Judy who thinks on the fly.
A soft silence filled the room, as he turned back towards his three drawer mini dresser beside the bed and started to rummage around for something comfortable, finding a loose t shirt and pajamas, Nick turned and found his night stand and turned on a small red radio, he cooed at the sound of soft warm jazz filling the room.
AN: Okay here is a rough draft/first chapter to something more, just need to make sure it gets attention before moving on, if liked/favorites I will continue this project, with bi weekly updates in store, been away for a long time due to work and other health concerns but will be around making new content.
Ciao for now.