Author's Note: So I've noticed that since there's a lot of characters at once, I'm only going to be able to focus on a select few at a time. For the time being, Shrek, Donkey, Puss In Boots, Kitty Softpaws and Perrito will serve as the main protagonists (no disrespect to Fiona, Dragon or the other fairy tale creatures, it's just too much at a time). And of course, the villains have now been established with Emperor Frederick and the Great Tall Tailor. The actual invasion part and subsequent war will be in the next couple chapters. Enjoy!

Chapter Three: The Church Fight

"Puss, Kitty," said Perrito, "we don't need to use violence here, do we?"

"You really are incorruptible," said Kitty.

"Some people only listen to violence, doggo," said Shrek, "and he's one of them!"

"Win or lose this fight," said Emperor Frederick, "this does not end here. I will cleanse the earth of your contamination. A final solution to this great fairy tale problem."

"You're talking like a madman," said Shrek, "or a failed artist. Leave if you know what's good for yah!"

"Oh, oh," said Perrito, "can I say something?"

"Of course," said Puss.

"Shouldn't we evacuate this sacred place before we raise hell here?"

"The puppy's right," said Kitty, "innocent people don't need to be harmed."

"You'll only buy them a short amount of time," said Emperor Frederick, "but I'll allow it. All of you pathetic citizens of Far Far Away, get out of here if you value your lives! Schnell! Schnell!"

The crowd fled. Fiona asked to stay with Shrek, in which he told her to go, sensing real danger in this situation. Only four creatures remained in the building to face Emperor Frederick, the Tailor, and about a dozen of his soldiers.

"I have been looking forward to removing your thumbs," said the Tailor with a cackle as he snipped his giant scissors.

"I still don't have thumbs," said Donkey as he did some mock kicking, "But I'll kick the shit out of you!"

"I believe this will be our first dance as a married couple," said Puss teasingly to Kitty as he had his sword drawn on Emperor Frederick and his men.

"Just remember to keep up," replied Kitty with her sword also ready.

"You're in OUR SWAMP!" said Shrek with his fists cocked.

Emperor Frederick said nothing as he raised his sword, signaling the soldiers to aim their ranged weapons.

Boom!

The gang dodged the musket balls and arrows with relative ease before charging at the enemy.

Donkey charged in between two musketmen and kicked them around.

"Ah'm the ass-kicking ass, fellas," said Donkey tauntingly as he kicked an enemy charging at him with a sword.

Meanwhile, Shrek was tied up with about six enemies that had him cornered near the confession booth. He punched the lights out of one of them, before slashed in the back by another enemy. Shrek flinched, before reflexively swinging behind him, knocking the enemy soldier into the booth.

"Someone's been a bad boy," quipped Shrek, before proceeding to systematically strike down the four remaining enemies.

Shrek punched another soldier in the stomach, causing him to hunch over in pain, before kneeing him in the face.

"Yargh," another soldier charged at him with a sword, which Shrek noticed and reacted accordingly. Shrek grabbed his assailant's arms and twisted them over each other, forcing the soldier to fall to the ground as he lost balance. Shrek then fell on top of him, placing his weight on the enemy and pinning him to the ground before an elbow to the face silenced his foe.

The remaining two soldiers decided to charge simultaneously with their swords, forcing Shrek to use whatever weapon available to his advantage, which happened to be a Bible.

Shrek smacked one of them in the face, clocking the guy, before throwing it at the other guy, knocking him out as well.

"So that's why they call it the Good Book," said Shrek, amazed at the damage he caused with it.

Meanwhile, further down the aisle, Puss and Kitty found themselves face to face with three enemy swordsmen and the Tailor.

"Just like old times Puss," said Kitty.

"Si Senora," replied Puss, "let's dance."

"My pleasure," said Kitty.

They then proceeded to do an elaborately coordinated maneuver where Puss parried the attacking enemy blade of one soldier while Kitty slashed him from below.

"Ole," said Puss.

"Watch out," said Kitty, noticing another sword coming down on her beloved.

Puss took the warning, and proceeded to Matrix-dodge the blade, before backflipping towards the soldier and slashing his signature "P" onto his cheek, and kicking him in the jaw.

"I still got it," said Puss.

Kitty, meanwhile, was tied up with the tailor.

"Here, kitty, kitty," said the Tailor as he repeatedly snipped at her.

"Puss," she said, "I could use a hand."

"On it," he replied as he hurled his sword at another enemy that was was about to charge at him, before leaping into action.

The Tailor laughed and tossed Puss aside, before slicing Kitty.

"No," cried Puss.

Meanwhile, more of Emperor Frederick's soldier's barged in, muskets ready, and fired.

Boom!

Shrek felt a sharp pain in his shoulder as a bullet hit him.

"Aagh," he cried in pain.

Donkey was also hit in the thigh, sending him to the ground.

The Tailor, seeing Puss break down in tears over Kitty, chuckled and said "It's more fun to break you than it is to kill you." Then he walked off.

"Your Majesty," said the Tailor to Emperor Frederick, "we best be going. The invasion can't be delayed any longer."

"Agreed," said the Emperor, "let them bleed to death." Then he ordered his men out, leaving the four heroes inside the church in agony.

"The bastards got me," yelled Shrek.

"Oh help me," cried out Donkey, "help me! I've got a family!"

"I'm coming for you," said Shrek, trudging to Donkey as he applied pressure to his wounds. He turned and saw Puss on his knees sobbing. "You okay Puss," asked the concerned ogre.

Puss didn't answer. He was too consumed by his emotions to hear him.

"Why," he screamed, "why did they do this to you? It's not fair! You were my true love and I was going to give everything for you!"

Back in Shrek and Donkey's corner, Shrek went to work applying aid to Donkey.

"Why you pressing down so hard where it hurts," cried Donkey.

"I have to stop the bleeding," replied Shrek, "a few minutes of pain is better than dying!"

"Alright," said Donkey, "but be gentle."

Shrek continued to press down as he ripped off a part of his tunic.

"Why you disrobing on me," asked Donkey.

"I need to put something on the wound," said Shrek.

Then he tied the improvised bandage over the affected area, stopping the bleeding. Donkey was no longer in danger.

"Keep it on," said Shrek, "you'll need it. I have to check on Puss."

"That's cool Shrek," said Donkey, looking at the bloodstained cloth before fainting.

"Puss," said Shrek, approaching the crying feline, "what's wrong?"

Puss didn't respond.

"Puss," asked an even more concerned Shrek.

He continued towards Puss, noticing Kitty was sprawled out on the floor, covered in blood.

"Oh no," said Shrek.

"It's not fair," said Puss, "she doesn't deserve to die!"

Shrek just sat down next to Puss, unsure of what to say, but he knew his friend needed him.

"I can only hope she has more than one life left," said Puss, "because if she's gone…" he broke up before finishing that sentence.

Just then, a familiar whistle echoed throughout the church. Puss and Shrek felt chills down their spine as they sensed an otherworldly presence enter.

They turned around and saw a hooded wolf with glowing red eyes standing in the doorway.

"Who's that," asked Shrek.

"Death," replied Puss.

The wolf kept walking towards them, without saying a single word. Puss saw that Death did not have that toothy grin this time around, nor a scowl on his face. If anything, he looked sad.

"I hate to be the bearer of bad news," said Death, "but Kitty Softpaws is gone."

"Then take me with her," snapped Puss, threatening to commit seppuku with his rapier.

"What happened to the promise you made that night," asked Death, "about living your life?"

"My beloved," said Puss, "was just murdered right in front of me. This was supposed to be a happy day!"

"And it still can be," said Death, "after all, this is only the third time I've had to claim her."

Snap!

Kitty jolted awake, her wounds healed and gasped for air.

"Wait, what," Shrek was now confused about the situation, "you're Death?"

"The one and only," replied Death, "And I must say, you have lived quite the life. Some of the people you brought me on the other hand," he nodded his head in disapproval.

"I feel like I just died," groaned Kitty. "Where's the Tailor?"

Puss, overstruck with relief, hugged Kitty as hard as he could.

"That's the Puss In Boots I wanted to see," said Death.

"Wait," said Shrek, "Mr. Death!"

"Yes," replied Death.

"Is there anything important you want to tell us," asked Shrek.

"Just that I have a feeling I'm going to be really busy tomorrow," answered Death, "so go, be with your loved ones. And be careful!"

Death turned around and whistled his leitmotif as he exited the church.

"Okay Ginger," said Kitty, "you can let go now."

"I thought I lost you," bawled Puss.

"Cálmate Puss," said Kitty, "I just got a little banged up. Nothing too serious."

"I'd hate to disappoint," said Shrek, "but you actually died for a minute."

"So that's why he won't let go."

Puss just continued to hug Kitty, who simply placed her paw on top of Puss's head.

"Welp," said Shrek, "now that all's well in lover's corner," he looked back at Donkey, "I have to take care of him." Shrek walked off, leaving Puss and Kitty alone.

"You want kittens," said Puss, "I'll give you kittens. Just give me one chance and I won't disappoint you."

"Hold your horses Romeo," said Kitty, "I did just die and come back after all. I don't want to pressure you." Then she got up. "Let's go home," she said, offering Puss a paw, "Mi amor."

Puss grabbed it and got himself up. Shrek looked back as he was trying to wake Donkey. Although he didn't know Kitty that well, he could tell that she and Puss were perfect for each other.

"If I make you some gazpacho, would that get you in the mood," asked Puss.

"Puss," replied Kitty, "you and I both know that you are a god awful cook."

"So you don't want to get nasty tonight," asked Puss.

"No," said Kitty, "I do. I just need to walk off dying first."

"Is this going to be something that you will use against me from time to time," asked Puss.

Kitty said nothing and kissed Puss as they continued to limp away.

—-

Author's Note: So that was an emotional chapter. Anyways, the coming war/invasion will happen in two chapters, which if I keep updating as often as I do, will be in a couple days. I'd love to hear what you guys think, so remember to comment!