Circumstantial

by Pepja98

What evidence would it take to make you believe the worst in someone? Steph finds out the hard way and then must face her new reality. An eventual Babe HEA but he has to face his own demons in order to make it right. Trigger warnings but not everything is as it seems. Long story, completely written and posting frequently. Serious Angst.

1. Chapter 1

A/N Thank you to Janet Evanovich for creating the world of Stephanie Plum. I am only borrowing. Errors are mine. Thank you to all the fabulous authors on FF who have inspired me to embark on this journey and try something way out of my comfort zone. I am an amateur with no plans to change. My heartfelt thanks to my beta's and mentor. Alix66, Kathy and Heather. They caught thousands of errors, literally and gave wonderful insight and direction! The last person I want to thank is my dear friend, Lisa. You are more like a sister to me and I'm happy to have you close again! This story contains foul language and adult situations. Not smut but I am rating M anyways. There is one trigger warning for an abortion situation around chapter 13. Chapter 14 also has a situation where Stephanie gets advise from a women's shelter. This is 100% fictional. I do not know what advice would have been given or how exactly these wonderful organizations work. Please do not take any of what is said in this story as accurate advice or anything other than fiction. The story is completely written and is just shy of 200k words. The chapters vary and some are very long. I hope you enjoy. Oh and I love reading your feedback.

CIRCUMSTANTIAL

~Chapter 1

***Jan 6

SPOV

I look at my watch. It's 10:45. Crap, I didn't mean to stay at the Bond's Office so late. I was supposed to meet Joe 45 minutes ago. I look at my phone. Two texts and a missed call. Double crap. Originally, I had wanted to do some research and go after Mary Cruikshank at the prison but her shift starts in 15 minutes and I have plans. Plans I can cancel but I can't get to the prison in 15 minutes. My stomach growls. I ate the sad leftover donuts from this morning and now, my stomach is protesting again. I opt for going home. Joe was supposed to pick up Pino's on his way over tonight. Yay for me! I hate eating this late but coordination becomes difficult when both of us have such unpredictable schedules. I love Pino's meatball subs, though, and I'll eat them any time, day or night.

My thoughts return to Mary. I'll just get her tomorrow morning after her shift. That's better anyways. It's kinda ironic picking up an FTA at a prison. That thought makes me smile as I tuck the rest of the files in my messenger bag. I made a pretty good dent in the outstanding FTA research and now I can plan my attack. Tomorrow will just have to start with Mary and a trip to the prison. I turn the lights off and lock the front door. The girls left hours ago but I wanted to use the computer to complete my searches. Any searching has to be done when Connie's out of the office otherwise I have to go to Rangeman and I'm trying not to wear out my welcome there.

Armed with my printouts, I head out to my latest POS car. I've had this particular rust marvel for about 3 months. Its color is a faded red so the rust sort of blends in. Hey, it runs great and doesn't smell like anything died in it. That's something to be grateful for, right? It's 2.5 months away from my record. Since my little red sporty Miata that I had pre-BEA got repossessed, I've been going through cars like crazy. I can't believe it's been 3 years since I blackmailed my perv cousin Vinnie into giving me a job as a bond enforcement agent aka bounty hunter. It sounds all badass but in reality, I roll in garbage a lot. Most of it is not my fault. I only take the cheaper bonds because Ranger and his band of Merry Men take the bigger risk with the murderers and gangbangers, hence the bigger payout. No, I'm not going to think about Ranger, the seriously hot Cuban American bounty hunter that became my mentor, friend, boss, lover... Nope I'm definitely not going to think about him.

I've been a little out of sorts lately. I'm 34 years old and I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. What can I see myself doing in five years? Ten years? Can I really keep doing this job in ten years? I stop and look around. Everything seems the same. Same strip mall. Same busy street. Same sucky weather and same sucky job. "Ahh! Focus," I say to myself with a disgusted sigh as I try to get my thoughts under control. Anyways, if I want my sucky job to pay the bills, I better get moving on my plan of attack for this stack of outstanding skips. I really need to sort my shit out. I can't keep doing this forever. I don't know why I'm feeling like this. I love certain aspects of my job, but the constant criticism from Joe and my mom are weighing me down. I feel so soured with my life.

I pull into the parking lot of my home sweet home. I notice a familiar green Explorer in my lot belonging to the hot Italian golden boy of the Burg, Joe Morelli. He and I have a very interesting past. It wasn't until I became a bounty hunter that he wormed his way into my life. Our past started out pretty bad and I really should have my head examined regarding one Joseph Anthony Morelli and his current role in my life. I guess he finally grew up. He and I are currently in the on position of our off and on relationship. Probably we'll end up married one day. That should make me happier but my asshole ex-husband really soured me on marriage. I press the button for the elevator and wait for the doors to open.

I used to think Joe was closer to wanting the whole marriage and kids thing than I was, until someone pointed out that he swapped out his dining room table for a pool table. That someone was Ranger, at Disney, yes, it certainly is the Magic Kingdom. Shit. I shake my head to get my thinking back on track. Where was I? Oh yeah, marriage and kids. My mom is more than ready to marry me off to anyone. She's not picky. Hence how we got to Dave the murdering suitor. I literally dodged a bullet there. But then that leads me to Hawaii. No! No thoughts of Hawaii.

Before I know it, I'm at my door, putting the key into the lock. "I'm home dear" I call out as the smell of Pino's subs greets me at the door. "Yummy. I'm just in time." I say to Joe who is sitting on the couch watching my new TV courtesy of Diesel. Diesel is my semi-human co-conspirator that I occasionally work with when our cases overlap. More accurately when Trenton has a criminal of galactic proportions. Enough about Diesel though, I need to focus on the humans in my life. My thoughts are exhausting.

I throw my stuff on the dining room table and plop on the couch next to Joe.

"I was waiting for you, but you were taking too long. I can eat half of your sub though." Joe said, wiping the sauce off his chin as he finished chewing his last bite.

Meatball subs from Pino's are to die for and I can't blame him. I wouldn't have waited for me either. I unwrap my sub and dig in. He gives me the smoldering bedroom eyes and I roll my eyes back at him. "Back off, Buddy." As soon as the gloriously tangy sauce hits my tongue I start to moan. The first bite is the best. No conversation is necessary as we sit and I devour my entire sub. When I finish I ask, "Where's Bob?"

"I left work at 9:30 and I had to stop at Pino's so I didn't think I had time to stop at the house and get him. I thought you would've gotten here before me. I called you." Joe sounds playful, but I know he is a little irritated that he had to wait. He's still staring at me with the Joe smolder and I oblige him as soon as I throw away the garbage from our not quite shared meal.

Joe left not long after, wanting to get back home before Bob ate his couch, again. I'm fine with it. I want to get to work on planning my day for tomorrow anyways. I spread the files out on my dining room table. I have 4 open files. If I get up early and get Mary at the end of her shift, I could have the rest of the day to get the other three.

"Let's see." I say out loud. "I have Richard "Old Man" Thompson, an 86 year old flasher from the Burg. Campbell James, an 18 year old male who was charged with car theft, first offense and - according to my research - still lives at home. And then there's Johnny Stephens. He's a mid-level executive who was charged with embezzling." He's my biggest bond and bringing him in would pay my rent and credit cards for a few months. I look through all the files and note the home and work addresses listed.

I decide that Mary will go first and barring any problems, I should have her back in the system by 8:30 or 9. I can swing by and pick up Campbell since he's likely still sleeping and his mother may help convince him that skipping out on these charges is a bad idea. Hopefully, Old Man Thompson will still be at the Senior Center so I can grab him after lunch. That will leave the rest of the afternoon to track down Mr. Stephens. "Great plan" I say to myself as I put the files in my messenger bag and head to the bathroom to get ready for bed. Looks like an early night for me.

***Jan 7

The alarm wakes me much too early and I'm seriously thinking about staying in bed and trying this plan tomorrow instead. However, it's Friday and the plan won't work on a Saturday. Ugh. It's dark out and I absolutely hate getting up when it's still dark. What kind of weirdo does that... on purpose? I grumble as I swing my legs over the side of the bed and start getting ready for my busy day. I take a quick shower and dress in my normal work uniform of jeans and a stretchy t-shirt. I spend very little time on my hair and makeup. Just a quick ponytail and a couple of swipes of mascara and I'm ready. I grab my CAT boots, jacket and my messenger bag and head off to the prison. Traffic is heavier than normal but I arrive at 6:30am. I pull into the employee lot and explain the reason why I'm there to the prison guard manning the gate. He allows me entrance and I go up and down each row looking for my skip's car. I spot her newer model sedan in a space close to the employee entrance. I, however, am not that lucky and get a spot three rows over at the other end. Figures. The sky is lightening and the sun is peeking over the horizon and I snuggle into my jacket as I wait for the shift change to release the night workers. It was about 7:10 before I saw my target. She was walking out of the prison talking to a group of women. They broke off at the beginning of the parking lot and Mary headed my way. She was eyeing me warily as she approached. I introduced myself and told her why I was here. She looked embarrassed and gave me the normal excuse that she mixed up her court date and didn't know what to do. I love when apprehensions go like this. It's a sign that I won't have any problems with getting her re-bonded.

"It actually happens a lot," I tell her. "I don't want to get any employers involved if it's just a mix-up, so if you come with me you won't have any problems." I add in case she thinks she can give me the slip. Most people don't want anyone at their work to know their personal business, and I rely on that to keep her compliant. I prefer to keep every capture civilized but sadly this is not the norm. I explain to her that Connie will be at the courthouse to re-bond her and I can drive her back to the prison to get her car. The whole thing takes a little over two hours and I'm back in Trenton driving down Hamilton after a quick stop at the Tasty Pastry. Mary wasn't a tough capture but the early hour was only possible by a promised stop for fresh donuts and hot coffee. It's after 9:00 and I'm right on schedule. I pull up to the mini apartment complex a couple of streets off Stark. It's not the best neighborhood but it could be far worse. I find apartment 3C and knock on the door. A slightly disheveled middle aged woman opens the door with a small dog jumping at her heels. Soon the small dog is jumping at my heels and I lean down to say hello.

"What a cute dog." I say as I continue to scratch behind his ears. She looks slightly annoyed that I have disturbed her morning, so I stand up to get to the point. "Hi, I'm looking for Campbell James. I'm Stephanie Plum and I wanted to speak to him about a private matter." I say, trying to keep it professional. I'm pretty sure this is his mom and I will need to enlist her help if I want this to go smoothly.

She scrunches her face at me and says "I'm his mother. What is this regarding?" Her stance is all mama bear.

"I'm a bond enforcement agent and Campbell missed his court date. I'm here to get him re-bonded. He isn't in trouble if he comes with me to the courthouse. I can have him re-bonded and back home in no time. It looks like this is his first offense and it would be a shame to miss out and have that on his record." I say in an effort to coerce her into helping me. I don't want to resort to threats unless she's reluctant. If I had a kid, I wouldn't want to make a bad situation worse by skipping my court date. Ugh. I can't imagine having kids. I shake my head to clear those thoughts and focus back on Mrs. James. She's looking at me thoughtfully. I can tell she's warring with herself on whether to help me or not. I decide to tip the scale in my favor. "I know it feels like you are ratting him out but you're not. You're teaching him that he has to take responsibility for his actions and it'll be far worse if a warrant is issued for his arrest. Right now, he has the opportunity to fix this and schedule a new court date. I can't guarantee how the case will turn out, but I can assure you that it will be a whole lot better than if he tries to run and hide from this. His future will be very limited if that happens, because more charges will be added and he'll be less likely to be granted any leniency for his first time offense. He has a rare do-over here that he can make a better choice."

She looks at me warily and I'm getting the feeling I'm about to have a door slammed in my face.

"Okay, look. I know you don't know me from Adam but I have a friend. He was in a similar situation as Campbell except my friend was younger. His parents made the tough decision to make him face the consequences, and sent him to a relative to keep him away from the gangs. He ended up joining the service and became a true hero to this country. His life would have been very different if his parents didn't make the tough call and make him do the right thing. He actually would have probably continued with the gang and his life expectancy would probably have already run out. Right now, Campbell has choices. You have choices. If I leave, you don't. I will continue to try to bring him in until his bond runs out. You pretty much signed away your rights when you bonded him out. This really is his last chance to straighten his life around." I really can sympathize with Ranger's parents and the decisions they made in regards to his life. It was probably hard for him to understand at the time, but looking back, it was absolutely the right decision.

She's looking at her feet.

"Okay. Come with me. He's still sleeping. Do you have handcuffs? He won't go without a fight," she says as she meets my gaze. I pull out my handcuffs and follow her through the living room into a short hallway. She leads me to the door on the left just past the bathroom. She opens the door very quietly and holds out her hand for the cuffs. She has him cuffed before he even has his eyes opened.

"What the fu..." he grounds out. "Ma, what is this?"

"I can't believe you are so stupid. I should have never bailed you out," she says to the scowling teenager. "You're going to get your life together, and I am going to make sure of it. This nice lady is offering you your last chance at a life. We are going to go with her to the courthouse and get you rebonded. You have four choices. Army, Navy, Air Force or Marines. Pick one and hopefully that will be enough to get you out of the felony you were charged with. It'll get you away from your so-called friends and with brave men and women who do not break the law and hurt people. If you fight me on this, I will refuse to re-bond you and you'll start your life in jail. You're going to end up there anyway, so why not start now? I just cannot continue to sit and watch you go down this path of death and destruction. What do you have to say for yourself?"

She finishes her tirade by pulling his chin up to meet her gaze. He refuses to meet her eyes, but he acquiesces to her direction. She's able to pull him to his feet and he's pushed into the bathroom still cuffed. "Get ready, we leave in five minutes." She adds as she continues to the kitchen to pour a cup of coffee in a paper cup.

"Do you want one?" she asks.

"No thank you, I had my coffee for the day," I reply, feeling glad that Mama bear is on board.

We hear a noise and look up to see Campbell coming into the kitchen.

"Ma, I can't do this. I can't testify against my friends. They'll kill me... and you," he says looking down again.

"Then why are they your friends?" she counters. He has no answer and she adds. "Don't worry about me. You just need to pick your future. What's it gonna be?" she asks sternly.

"I have a friend that has been in your situation. He may be able to help you. He works for Rangeman." I don't want to out Ranger but I really could use the help in getting this boy on a better path. As soon as I say Rangeman, the boy looks up. Up until now, he was dragging.

"Those guys are badass," he says, with a touch of wonder in his voice. "We try to stay away from them. No need to bring on that shi...stuff" he corrects as he glances at his mom. She had been glaring at him since his "badass" comment.

"Most of them are military. Some were from gangs. All are respectable men who made the best of their situation and are now considered heroes. They have a stronger brotherhood than any gang can provide, plus they protect their brothers, not threaten them. You would do well to find friends like that." I say. I smile because I know I have him. Despite the hard life he has lived so far, he really is just a boy looking for somewhere to belong. I feel really good about the direction this is taking. I'm happy that I made a positive impact on his life, collecting a fee for his capture isn't even in the same ballpark as helping a family like this. This is one of my favorite parts of the job. That and the chase. I really like the chase too, I think as I refocus back to the James'.

We decide that I'll take Campbell with me to the station with his mom following in her car. Connie will meet us there and re-bond him. I place a call to Ranger and give him the Cliff Notes version of the James family situation. He tells me he'll call his attorney and have him meet us at the station. He offered to help young Campbell as a pay it forward gesture to save him from a life he, too, escaped from. After it's all said and done, I feel pretty good about my morning. I swing by the bonds office to see if Lula wants to get lunch and ride with me to get Old Man Thompson. Not even dealing with an aging flasher can bring me down from my high.

After a trip through the Cluck in the Bucket drive-thru, Lula and I head to the Burg. It's just after 1:00 when we pull up to the Senior Center on Broad. I grab my messenger bag, stuff my cuffs in my pocket and get out of the car.

"I hate 'old people" Lula remarks. "Except your granny." I smile. My granny is a hoot. She is so full of life. She isn't afraid to be who she wants to be. I love that she doesn't make excuses for herself. She's living her life on her terms. Something to think about.

Lula and I head into the Senior Center and I swear, the soft music that was playing screeches to a stop. Every conversation stops and everyone looks our way and stares. I know right then and there this is not going to go well.

"I am looking for Mr. Thompson." I don't have to introduce myself. All these people already know who I am and are probably texting my grandma as I stand there looking into their blank faces.

"Who?" Mrs. O'Neill asks. Oh come on! Everyone knows Old Man Thompson. Seriously, I grew up with these people. I went to school with their grandchildren.

"Hi Mrs. O'Neill. How's your arthritis?" I ask.

"It's good, dearie. My doctor has me on new medication that seems to be helping," she replies.

"Look, I need to take Mr. Thompson to the station to get him re-bonded. It will only take an hour or so and I can have him back for bingo by 2:30 at the latest, I promise." I plead. I really need these people to help me. There is no other way. Talk about a brotherhood. These people will fight to the death to protect one of their own. Even from me. I have to persuade them and I have to use finesse to do it. However, Lula didn't get the memo and the next words out of her mouth really did escalate the situation. In hindsight, I probably should have brought my grandmother instead of Lula but alas, I cannot go back in time.

"Look here people, we don't want any trouble, we just want the old man and we aren't leaving here 'til we get him," she says, making every man in the place stand up and begin their approach. I have been scanning the room looking for Thompson and haven't spotted him by the time we are completely surrounded by about 20 old men. I try to de-escalate the situation by saying we just want to clear up the mix-up with the court date and that we can check back later to see if he needs help getting to the court house. Lula, however, has a different plan in mind.

"Huhn," she snorts, "We ain't leavin' until we get the old man." This is where things take a decidedly messy turn. Did I mention it was past lunch? So my day went to crap really fast. I'm not sure when the mob started throwing food, Hell, I didn't even notice they were holding food. I hate food fights I am usually on the losing side. I grab Lula's arm and try to pull her from the chaos. She is surprisingly compliant.

So now, I'm sitting in my POS car, listening to Lula rant about her ruined hair and clothes. Snippets of the past 15 minutes are flashing through my head. I can't believe what a contrast today has been. I look over at Lula and resign myself to what is about to come.

"Do you want to come with me to get this humiliation over with?" I ask her as I point my car in the direction of my childhood home. She agrees only when I promise her that Thursday night is chocolate cake night, and there'll be leftovers served no matter what embarrassment I bring to the family. My phone rings and I pull it out of my bag just in time to power it down. I'm headed home anyway so it doesn't matter. At least I'll get chocolate cake out of this. I smile ruefully as I realize the chocolate cake is probably going to be the highlight of my afternoon.

I pull into the driveway and notice that my father's cab is absent. I also see my grandma peeking out the front door window. I get out of the car with little hesitation and Lula is still ranting about the manners of 'old people'. The door opens as soon as we step on the porch, and I see my grandma's curly gray head pop up. A big smile is plastered on her face.

"Your mom is still on the phone and she don't look happy," she says as she gives me a hug. "Hi Lula, how they hanging?" she greets my friend. Lula begins her tirade of the chaos that we endured at the Senior Center and continues as we enter the kitchen. My mom gives me a scowl and finishes up her phone conversation. I look and see that the ironing board is out, but nothing is lying in wait. She probably hasn't had enough time between phone calls to get anything to iron. As I wait for the tongue-lashing to begin, I think what a good part-time job my mother could get ironing for the Burg. "Plum's Pressing" or "Mom's Ironing Solution" I think to myself but don't dare crack a smile for fear of further infuriating my mother.

I hear the phone slam down and it brings me back to reality. Yes, Stephanie Plum reporting for my weekly berating.

"Stephanie Michelle Plum, do you know how many phone calls I have gotten in the last half hour?" she asks, a frown creasing her whole face.

"Mom, we just asked where Mr. Thompson was. I can't help it if those guys are bored and want excitement in their lives," I say.

"Mr. Thompson didn't do anything wrong. Why do you have to go and disrespect your elders? Do you know how embarrassing this is for me?" she admonishes.

"I appreciate that he is an elder, but he broke the law not once but twice when he failed to appear for his court date. Why weren't you blaming the police when they picked up innocent Mr. Thompson?" I counter.

"They were just doing their job," she responds.

"I was just doing MY job," I yell. I am so over this. I can't take it anymore. Chocolate cake isn't worth this, I don't care how good it is. I want out of here before I hear that 'the personal product plant is hiring' and 'why can't I just get married and settle down and start a family?'.

"Mom, I just stopped by to tell you that I'm fine, that I wasn't hurt. I will talk to you later." I grab Lula by the hand and pull her toward the front door. She mutters something about chocolate cake and I ignore it in favor of making an escape. My grandma rushes to catch up with us and climbs in the back seat.

"Oh no, grandma. Mom will kill me if you get involved in one of my scandals. Plus, I'm done. I'm going to drop Lula off and go home. I need a shower and a nap to erase this crappy afternoon," I tell her.

"No problem, I'll just ride with you to drop Lula off and then you can drop me back off at a friend of mine. She will take me back home," she replies. My head drops in defeat. I don't have the energy to argue, so I head to the bonds office and drop Lula off. We had decided not to stop at the bakery since news of our food fight has probably been broadcast throughout the Burg and surrounding towns, plus, I'm not actually presentable.

Back on the road, I asked Grandma where she wanted me to go. She gives me the address and I know it's her friend Betty's house. I pull in the driveway and she tells me to stay for a minute to make sure Betty is home and can drive her home later. I'm waiting in the driveway for 10 minutes before Grandma and Old Man Thompson come out in handcuffs. She has a huge smile on her face. Thompson, not so much.

I scramble out of the car and come around to open the back door. Grandma pushes him into the back seat and slams the door on his butt propelling him the rest of the way.

"Hey, I don't want to break a hip," he complains.

"That's what you get for causing my baby granddaughter to have a bad day," she retorts. I smile at that. My Grandma is the coolest. I drive us to the police station and assure Mr. Thompson that Connie is on her way and he will be rebonded soon. It really wasn't his fault that the Senior Center folks threw food at me. All he really did was try to fool around in public. I guess he and Betty were trying to get a little action in a place a little too public. I don't think he minds the attention he's getting from this whole situation.

As we approach the police station I'm filled with dread. I hope Joe isn't here. I hope that he hasn't gotten any calls about this yet. I already heard it from my mom and I didn't need Joe's criticism. Unfortunately, my luck is decidedly unlucky because he, along with a good portion of the police staff, have come out of their offices and from under the rocks they were previously occupying. Fantastic, I think to myself. I heard a few teasing remarks about lunch and a food fight. I try to ignore them as I bring Mr. Thompson to the intake counter.

I'm doing okay until I hear an exasperated "Cupcake, what happened?"

I turn to look at Joe and more snickers and laughs circulate. He holds up his hands in a "well, tell me what happened" gesture and I glare at him.

"Look Joe, it was just a minor misunderstanding with the folks at the Senior Center. No big deal," I say to him, not wanting to get into what happened in front of an audience.

Joe, however, had other ideas.

"Do you know how many calls I got? My mother even called me. That's embarrassing, Cupcake. I thought we talked about this?" he says a little more quietly as he gets closer.

I am now very irritated. I really don't want to air any dirty laundry in public and I look at Joe and do the only thing I can do to put a stop to this before I lose my temper and go all rhino on him. "We can talk about this later Joe, do you want me to stop by your place?" I ask, trying to sound sorry. I'm not sorry.

"Sure, I'll be home around 5:30. Why don't you pick us up a pizza. I'll see you then." he says, like he expects me to have it waiting for him as he pulls into the driveway. I have no intention of picking up a pizza for him after he's yelled at me like this, but I want to get out of here so I agree. It's the only thing I can think of to put an end to this crap show.

I plan on going after my last skip tonight and will just have to text him my work emergency. Problem averted. Joe and the rest of the Burg can kiss my ass. I collect my body receipt and go back out to the car where my Grandma is waiting. "What took you so long?" she asks.

"Joe and the rest of the busybodies had to come and comment on my food fight at the Senior Center. Apparently, I'm an embarrassment to more than just Helen Plum," I tell her.

"Look at me, Baby Girl, you are a wonderful person. You didn't go looking for trouble. It just finds you. I think you do a really good job. I do worry about you and I think that your mom does too. She just has a crappy way of expressing it," she tells me.

"I know. It's just really tiring getting food thrown at me, and constantly being told I'm an embarrassment." I reply, looking back down at my hands clasped in my lap. I take a deep breath and start the car.

I have just opened my door and walked into my apartment when I remember my phone is off. I power it on, set it to silent and leave it on the kitchen counter. I grab a baby carrot from the fridge and put it in Rex's bowl. He backs out of his can, whiskers twitching, as he scurries over to check out his treat. A carrot is not as good as a pop tart but pretty high on a hamster's list.

I peel off my clothes and inspect the food stains. I walk back to the kitchen to soak my clothes in the sink for some pretreatment. With any luck, they will be good as new after a wash.

After my shower, I grab my phone on the way to my bed. I don't want to look at my messages until after my nap. If I do, I'll get so pissed off, I won't be able to sleep. I put my phone under the other pillow so the vibrations won't wake me up. I don't want anything to disturb my nap. I tell my Google Home to wake me in an hour and relax into my comfy bed. It's not as comfy as Ranger's bed but it'll do. I fall asleep trying to pretend I actually am in Ranger's bed, sans Ranger of course. Thoughts of the contrary would not be sleep inducing.

The annoying beeping brings me out of my sleep at precisely 4:00pm. I pull my phone from under the pillow and scroll through my messages. I have a text from Joe asking me why he's getting calls about me and a food fight at the Senior Center. I also have a text from Ranger asking me if I am okay, and if I need back up. I am momentarily shocked. The contrast couldn't be more obvious. One is supposed to be my boyfriend and the other just my friend. Interesting.

I know that Joe is just worried about me and has to manage the Burg in his business too but seriously, I wish he would treat me a little more like Ranger does and not care about what is said about him or me. I send him a quick text saying that something came up and I have to work, and that I will stop by afterward if it's not too late.

I do a little refreshing in the bathroom and grab my messenger bag on the way out the door. I chat with Mrs. Bestler in the elevator and ask if her shift is done soon. She smiles and says. "First floor, ladies shoes, men's underwear." I smile. I love Mrs. Bestler.

I scan the street looking for parking in the upper-middle class area of Ewing Township. The two story houses are similar in style, with well-manicured lawns. I park right in front, watching the house for signs of movement. Johnny is recently divorced and his wife and kids have rented a house in Lawrence. I start to put the car in drive when I see the garage door open. I scrap the 'move my car down a few houses' idea and pull into the driveway blocking his car in case he decides to run. He slams the car into park and is in front of me screaming in a matter of seconds. I don't even have a chance to get my seatbelt off before he's red-faced and pounding on my window. Fear races through me and I hurriedly lock my doors.

"What the fuck are you doing?" he screams at me.

I roll the window down a crack and say through the opening, "I'm Stephanie Plum, your bail bondsman sent me to get you rescheduled for your court date. It was a week ago and you missed it." I reach my hand into my messenger bag to pull out my stun gun, which is when I realize I didn't grab my stun gun. It's at home guarding my cookie jar, and I squash the mental berating I deserve for picking up a skip alone without it. I cautiously watch his reaction, and am momentarily stunned when he stops screaming profanities and runs back to his vehicle. Did I fail to mention he had a freaking tank? Actually it's a full-size Hummer and I curse my inaction since I'm now being pushed backward into the street and into a telephone pole. The crunch is loud. I watch as he puts his car in drive and pulls away.

My car had stalled and I sit there for about a minute when I hear more screaming from the various people that had heard the chaos. I try to ignore them as I try to start my car. If I can drive, then I can go home and pretend like everything in the second part of my day never happened. As I start the engine, I feel someone pound on my window saying something along the lines of "gas leak" and "get out".

SHIT! I try to get out of my car but I'm still fastened. I unlock my seatbelt and the door. It's yanked open by a good Samaritan and I'm pulled away just seconds before the explosion. The last thing I remember is flying through the air before lights out.

I'm lying on the ground when I come to, and look up at a tight group of people staring down at me. I try to sit up but am held down.

"We called an ambulance. You should lie still until they get here. You could have a broken neck" the lady closest to me say.

"I don't think I have a broken neck. My back hurts and my arm hurts but nothing in my neck," I say, feeling along my neck with my good arm. Since that didn't increase pain in either my neck or back, I roll to sit up. The group widens a little to give me room.

"What happened?" another man says.

"I saw it," says a kid about Mary Alice's age. "I was walking my dog when I saw that man backing out of his driveway and he hit you. He must have been going fast since he pushed you all the way over here," he adds, as he points in the direction of his house. As he is adding to his story, his dog greets me with a slimy lick to my face. Perfect. I'm still a bit foggy on the details as I try to listen to the recount of what the neighbors witnessed. More people are coming to investigate when I hear the sounds of the fire trucks and ambulance. The crowd parts when the EMTs arrive, and they assess me and ask if I could be moved when the fire department starts the hose to douse the charred remains of this dead soldier. Shit, I need a car, I think as I see a black SUV parked halfway down the block. That's as close as they can get apparently. The EMTs want to transport me to the hospital but I decline. They give in when I show them I can move everything, including my arm, with only minor pain. I did land on soft grass, so I probably didn't do anything more than sprain it. They determine that flying glass is the reason my back hurts. I haven't been wearing a jacket while driving as my car's heater is stuck on high - the glass had penetrated the thin t-shirt I have on. They were finishing up with me and were packing up when Les and Cal approach. Concern on their faces makes them look scarier than usual.

"I'm okay." I smile at them and they start to relax. I recount the story from what I remember, and what I heard from the neighbors. I'm still talking when a police officer comes to take my statement. I assure them that I'm fine and show them my FTA paperwork. Thankfully I had my messenger bag around my shoulder when I was driving. If I had left it behind, it would have been much harder to explain to the police what I was doing here. It also has my body receipts from this morning which would be a giant pain to get replaced.

Les approaches again after the police inform me that I need to come to the station to sign my statement. Huhn, I snort. This isn't my first rodeo, buddy, I think as Les smiles. He's probably ESP'ing me and knows exactly what I'm thinking. "Come on, Crash, let's get you home," he says and I give him a dirty look. Smartass.

On the way home, I'm losing the battle to stay awake. Adrenalin crash. I wake two hours later in my bed. I have a vague recollection of being carried up to my apartment. I stretch and see a glass of water and 3 Motrin sitting on my bedside table. I love my Merry Men!

Since the car explosion wasn't in Trenton proper, Joe didn't hear about it until later. He didn't get to voice his displeasure at the scene but he certainly did later. I reminded him that he is supposed to be my loving boyfriend and right now he's being an unsupportive ass. That stopped him in his tracks.