A/N Thanks to Mrs. Evanovich and her creative genius. Huge thank you to Kathy who Beta'd this chapter and made it so much better. To the wonderful Heather, thank you for the amazing advice and guiding me on this journey. And Lisa, you're an awesome friend!
~Chapter 2
***Jan 10
Several days later, I head to the Bonds Office in Joe's SUV. I couldn't bring myself to drive the Buick and Joe volunteered his car since he has been less than supportive and I have been more annoyed. I park the new loaded Ford Explorer in the lot and stride into the office.
"Good morning," I say cheerily, noting that Connie and Lula are halfway through the donut bag. I stroll over and peek inside. I pull out a Boston Crème and a napkin. I grab a cup of coffee, doctoring it with the usual yumminess, and sit on the adjacent couch. "What's the scoop on Anthony Morelli?" Connie asks.
I look at her quizzically. "What about him?"
"He cheated again," Connie replies. I make a face.
"I haven't heard anything about it. Do you know who with?" I ask.
"I heard that it was Emily Harrison, you know, the new stylist at that hair salon over off Hamilton...you know, the one with the giant pink sign." She pauses and then adds. "She's the younger cousin of Lydia Harrison."
I search my memory. "That young girl who was always tagging along with Lydia? She's just a kid." I respond.
"Well, apparently she's 22 now and she and Anthony hit it off. He's supposedly going to leave Angelina and the kids for her. Joe didn't say anything?" she asks.
"No. When did this happen?"
Wow. He's never said that he's going to leave his wife. I know he's cheated before, and every time Angela forgives him they get back together. Each time they reconcile, they have another kid. You can tell how many times she's caught him by how many kids they have. But the point is, they ALWAYS get back together. Wow. As I think about that statement, on how everyone assumes (me included) they'll get back together. I can't help but think that I'm being groomed for this role. We aren't married, and we certainly don't have kids, but is this a glimpse at my future?
"I guess it's been going on for a couple of months," she says. "I can't believe you didn't know anything about it."
"Seriously, this is the first I've heard anything. I don't see the Morellis all that much. Joe goes out with Mooch some but I didn't think Anthony went. Wouldn't he be at home with his family?" I ask her.
"I guess not. Look, maybe the gossip is wrong. Maybe it's not as bad as it sounds," Connie replies.
Wow. Joe really doesn't share crap with me. I know he has kept important things from me before, on a case, but family issues? If that's not my business then are we really even a couple? I admit that I don't want to get close to the Morellis. I certainly don't want Grandma Bella anywhere near me or my uterus. Maybe I should count myself lucky that I'm distanced from this, and them. Yes, that's how I'm going to take it. I dodged a bullet being left in the dark.
I pull myself out of my internal musings when the conversation shifts away from the Morellis and onto Lula's new man. I listen while I finish my coffee and second donut. I'm trying to watch my weight, so I limit myself to just two. Yay me!
Lula and I grab our bags and head out to capture one Lucas Diaz. He's a 25 year old bagger at a grocery store on the edge of Trenton proper. He was charged with indecent exposure, and when they arrested him, they found enough drugs on him to charge him as a dealer. Great, I think. We have a drug dealer that moonlights as a flasher. At least he's 50 years younger than my last flasher. Seriously, why do I like my job? I ask myself for the second time today. The first time was when I heard suspicious noises from Vinnie's door. I really am starting to question my life choices.
No one at Trent's Corner Mart has seen Lucas. He hasn't shown up for work since he was arrested three weeks ago. The manager was very helpful, and even took my number in case he shows up for his paycheck. We did a drive by of his known residence twice and it doesn't look appealing either time. I find a parking space right in front since Lula was complaining she didn't want to walk far when we "drag his naked ass back to the car". I pull my stun gun and cuffs out of my messenger bag and put them in my pockets for easy reach.
Lula and I get out and she heads to the back. I wait for her text telling me she's in place and I knock on the front door. I knock again. This time I hear some muffled talking and a "Who is it?" shouted through the door.
"I'm looking for Lucas Diaz," I state, trying to get them to open the door before I announce who I am and why I'm here. I don't want to give them a reason to shoot me through the door, right? They should at least be considerate enough to open the door first.
"What do you want with him?" the person asks.
I get an uneasy feeling and don't want to announce myself as a BEA so I respond with "I need to talk to him, can you open the door?" I hear a rustling and see the curtains move away from the front window. A few seconds later, I hear the tell tale sounds of the locks being slid open. Wow. There are at least 5 deadbolts. I guess they're serious about keeping people out of this house. A young Latino boy about 16 opens the door. "Who are you?" he asks again.
"I need to speak to Lucas. It's a private matter," I tell him. We go back and forth a few times and I hear a big commotion from the back. "What was that?" I ask the teenager.
"I don't know," he says, but stays firmly in place blocking my path and view to the back of the house. I need to check on Lula so I back up and make my way off the porch and down the steps. I don't want to turn my back on this guy. I give him an excuse and say that I will be back later to see if Lucas is home. As soon as I'm clear, I run around to the back of the house. Lula is struggling to get out of a thorny bush. She's cussing up a storm and the bleeding punctures have assured me that she's been trying to disentangle herself for several minutes.
"Hold still!" I tell her. I proceed to give her directions and gently pull away the tangled branches, trying to prevent any more ripping and bloodshed. When done, I hurriedly usher her back to the car as we are standing out here, exposed. I didn't announce myself as bond enforcement so we should be somewhat safe. This isn't a great neighborhood, but it's definitely not gangland.
Lula keeps up a litany of curse words and she is muttering sentence fragments in between. "Fuckin too old for this shit... Manoso's woman...Fuckin bush...Fuck Vinnie. I aint gonna do this shit no more...Duck Fucker..."
Wait, what? What did they say about 'Manoso's woman'?
"Lula, did they know who we were?" I ask her, stopping. What the hell is going on?
"Fuckin' punk ass kid said that he ain't going to jail after the other punk ass kid said that he recognized you and that you were Manoso's woman," she says.
Well, that may have been the reason I wasn't met with a gun after the kid opened the door. Glad my association with Ranger prevented a potential disaster.
I turn to face the car when everything goes to hell. The next thing I know I'm on my back, lying in the yard, close to where Joe's car is burning like a giant fireball and putting off so much heat, I start to sweat. As I sit up in Lucas's front yard, it feels like I'm watching everything happen around me in slow motion. I squint my eyes, trying to piece together what's going on.
I know the car has exploded, because it's a big fiery ball. I hear sirens, far away. EMS has been called. I'm in pain. I look around and I see people. There are people milling about but no one is coming close to us. The car flames are so high. They're so pretty. I'm mesmerized by the fire. Lula is moaning, lying on the grass next to me. Oh my gosh, Lula!
My brain is really foggy and I try to focus on Lula. She's wailing and clutching her left arm. It looks strange. It's not straight. I try to talk to her. I want to reassure her that help is coming, but she's getting hysterical. I don't even feel like myself. I can move but I don't feel myself moving. It's so strange. A few minutes later, my brain starts to clear and I start to come around. The EMTs are waiting off at the perimeter motioning to us and screaming something but I can't think why. Lula is in obvious distress so why are they waiting? I call out to them.
"Over here," I say as I motion them over to us. The noise of the car, flames and the blood pounding in my ears makes it difficult to hear. I'm also light-headed but I have to get help for Lula. The EMTs shake their heads and point up to the electric lines. I hadn't noticed before now but an electric wire is flailing and arcing as the wire whips about. Realization comes slowly. We need to get out of here, fast. I stand and pull Lula up by her good arm and we take a few shaky steps backward. We almost fall a couple of times but I'm able to navigate us to an area just outside the danger zone. We are met by the EMTs waiting at a safe distance. They place Lula on the waiting gurney and are hooking up an IV when Joe, red-faced, reaches me.
"What the hell happened, Cupcake?" he shouts. My brain is clear enough to get pissed at his question, but I wouldn't say I'm fully aware of what just happened so I can't answer him. I just stand there looking at Joe. He is waving his arms and screaming. "LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY FUCKING TRUCK..."
I stopped processing what he's screaming about, the light-headedness increases and a wave of nausea hits me, hard. I can't focus. I need to sit down. The EMTs are busy with Lula, so it's just me and Joe. I try to interrupt him but he just screams something else about his car and that I'm a fuckup... That was my last conscious thought until I woke up in the ambulance. Alone, thank god. I open my eyes and see the EMT injecting something in my IV.
"Welcome back, Ms. Plum. You gave us quite a scare" he says to me, "I'm Conner. I just gave you something to help with the pain. Your blood pressure dropped and you passed out. We found a piece of metal embedded in your back and with your fall, we assume that you hit your head. We'll be at the hospital in a few minutes, so just try to relax and we'll take good care of you," Conner says with a reassuring smile. I close my eyes again and let myself drift off.
I awake at the hospital when the nurses transfer me to a hospital bed. I'm on my side but I recognize that I'm in St Francis and take comfort in that it's so familiar. I try to piece together what I remember. Lula.
"Is Lula ok?" I ask the faces above me pushing me down the hall. One of the faces looks down at me for a brief second.
"We don't know. When you're done, we'll be glad to check on her for you. Right now, we need to remove a piece of metal from your back," he says calmly.
I decide that I can wait until then to have the rest of my questions answered. I close my eyes and once again give in to sleep.
I awake to the familiar beeps of a hospital room. This room has a smiling face very near mine.
"Glad you're awake, Stephanie," says the face. "You're in recovery. They were able to remove the metal object and you are going to be just fine," she continues. She pushes the bedside table close to me and angles the straw within an inch of my mouth. I take a small sip of water and am instantly grateful. I hadn't registered that I was thirsty until I took a sip. I drink some more. My nurse had left but reappears a few minutes later. "My name is Sandy and I will take care of you until you get transferred to your room. Do you have any pain?" she asks.
"No," I croak out. She smiles at me and continues to check the machine that I am hooked up to. "You have a very cute man trying to get in here to see you. Hospital policy won't let him but he sure is trying," she says in between writing on a chart.
"How long before I get to leave?" I ask.
"Well, you will be here for another hour. We need to make sure everything went as well as we think it did," she tells me, smiling. Her confidence comforts me.
Just then, a large man I recognize walks in and immediately comes to my bed.
"Bobby" I smile. He looks relieved to see me and a huge smile spreads across his face.
"You had us pretty worried there for a little bit," he says, as he pulls my hand into his. "Bossman is fit to be tied. He can't get back here and he's not used to being told no," Bobby continues. "Are you ok?" he asks, going into medic mode. He looks at my machines and I can see him analyzing all the data.
"I'm fine, Bobby. Tell Ranger that I'm going to be okay. The nurse says I'm going to be here another hour and then I will be transferred to a regular room." I relate to him everything she said.
"I'll be back to stay with you, but I want to reassure him before he does something stupid," Bobby says with a knowing smile.
He's gone for about ten minutes and returns as Sandy is placing a cup of orange juice and saltine crackers on my table.
"Eat this. It'll help get you out of here faster," she says with a knowing smile. I was going to protest but changed my mind.
Bobby sits by my bedside and asks me what I remember.
"I remember going to Lucas Diaz's house. Lula. Oh my gosh, how's Lula?" I ask, suddenly worried about my friend.
"She's fine. She broke her arm. She has a lot of cuts and abrasions but nothing serious. She was casted and released a couple hours ago," he tells me. He waits for me to continue telling him what I remember.
"Lula covered the back and I knocked on the front door. A young kid answered and I heard a noise and was worried about Lula. I went around to the back and saw her in a bush. It must have been a rose bush, because she was tangled up in the thorns. I got her free and we headed to Joe's truck. Oh shit. Did Joe's car get destroyed? He's going to be pissed. This is the second car this week. Fuck my life!" I say, as the beeping on my heart monitor starts, alerting the staff.
"Calm down, Steph. It's okay. You're safe and that's all that matters," Bobby reassures me. Nurse Sandy comes over to reset the monitor and gives Bobby a stern look.
"She needs to stay calm," she says to him as she walks back to check on another patient.
"It's okay Steph, really. We're all just worried about you. Let's get you out of here first, then we can discuss it," he says reassuringly. He grabs my hand and squeezes it to reiterate his point.
True to her word, Nurse Sandy had me out of recovery and into my private room in an hour. I had two alpha males waiting for me as I was wheeled in. Joe rushes to my side and sits down in the chair by my head.
"Cupcake, I was so worried about you," he says to me.
I'm a little uncomfortable having Ranger watch us, as he has yet to move off the wall he is currently holding up. His jaw is set and I can tell he is holding back, but what, I have no idea. I shift my gaze back to Joe. I search his face and it is lined with worry.
"I'm okay." I try to reassure them both.
Just then, a short no-nonsense nurse of about 50 rushes in.
"Welcome, Ms. Plum. I'm Anne and I'll be your nurse for the next…" she checks her watch "...four hours. Do you have any pain?" she asks, while setting up my new monitors. She pushes a table toward me and gets everything ready for my stay. Speaking of staying...
"How long do I have to stay here?" I ask as I glance at Ranger who has replaced his blank look with his "thinking about smiling" look. He knew that would be the first question out of my mouth. I give a rueful half smile as I look back at Anne, waiting for her reply.
"Just a few days as long as everything checks out. The doctor was paged as soon as you got here and should be coming in to check on you. You hit your head and we're waiting for your CT scan results. You had surgery to remove that piece of metal that was embedded in your back so you'll be on IV antibiotics and pain meds until you're released. You are free to raise your bed to sit up but please do NOT try to get out of bed or stand on your own. Here's your call button," she says as she hands me the remote attached to my bed. "Please call if you need anything." She finishes up a few more things and rushes out the door.
There's an awkward silence that seems to indicate there's something more going on.
"What's wrong?" I ask no one in particular. "Anyone?" Silence.
I look back and forth from Joe to Ranger. Before anyone can say anything, the door opens and my Mom and Dad come rushing into my room. My mom comes right to my bedside and asks how I'm doing.
"I'm okay, Mom. Sorry I made you all worry."
I can't believe this keeps happening to me. I have a sinking feeling.
"Oh Joe, did I get your truck destroyed? It's all still fuzzy but I have a memory of a fireball shooting flames in the air," I say as I look at him.
A slight movement catches my eye and I shift my gaze to Ranger. He moved off the wall into Joe's line of view.
Joe shifts his gaze to Ranger and says nervously. "It's ok. I'm just glad You are okay," emphasizing 'you'.
What? This is not Joe's usual reaction. I'm confused.
"Stephanie, I can't believe you destroyed Joseph's car. Carol Murkowski's daughter doesn't go around..."
"Enough," Ranger barks gruffly. "Stephanie just had surgery. She may have a concussion and we need to keep her calm so she can get better. She needs support right now. Anything else can wait until later."
Wow. I can't believe Ranger just stood up to my mom and my Mom backed down. No one stands up to her, not even my Dad. Score one for Ranger. Joe's being supportive too, at least he didn't yell at me. Score one for Joe too.
The silence stretches on when two men in white lab coats enter.
"Hello Ms. Plum, I'm Doctor Chapman and I was the surgeon that removed your hardware. This is Doctor Ellis, and he's a resident. He assisted with the procedure. Can we have some privacy?" he asks as he pulls my chart from the pocket in my bed. He glances at the information as he waits for the room to clear. No one moves. He looks up. "I need to examine my patient and if Ms Plum wants you to stay, then she will ask." I stay silent.
Ranger is the first to move. "We all need to leave. Stephanie is perfectly able to ask if she wants anyone to stay," he says.
Joe looks at me expecting me to ask him but I stay silent. Something is off and I don't know what it is. He waits for several seconds and gets up from his chair and walks out after my parents. Ranger is in the back making sure I have the privacy that I want. I know Joe will be irritated, and I know that he's going to yell at me for destroying his car, but I don't want to deal with it now. I just want to get out of here and go home. Go home and sleep for days.
The doctors were pleased with their handiwork and I asked them what I needed to do to get out of here. Doctor Chapman smiled.
"I have heard all about you, you're pretty popular around here. I know that you will do anything you can to get discharged even against medical advice," he says, giving me that polished disapproving parent look, "You had quite a bit of muscle damage, and you will be very sore for several days. Believe me, you will need our pain meds to deal with it. I don't expect you to be able to even walk to the bathroom for at least a couple of days. Plus, you may have a concussion, so you will have a different doctor following up with that."
He gives me his card and tells me that an appointment has already been made to have the stitches removed in ten days.
"Oh, I thought you may want this," he says, as he fishes something out of his pocket. He hands me a piece of metal that is surprisingly heavy. It was a metal sculpture of some sort and is very, very sharp, almost knife sharp. Its base was about ten centimeters or the size of a softball but had a vague shape of a warrior. Yikes, no wonder I had to have surgery.
"So this is what you had to remove?" I ask incredulously, still turning over the hunk of junk.
"Yes, my guess is that you landed on it since parts of it were deeply embedded in your muscles. It penetrated your abdominal cavity so we were concerned about internal damage. I had a lot of muscles to sew up, so take it easy for the next couple of weeks. I really don't want to find that you messed up my handiwork," he finishes with a smile.
I try to hand it back to the doctor but he says "No, it's yours, you earned it." He then turns and walks to the doors. "Do you want me to let them back in? You need to rest and I don't want them interfering with that," he says, gesturing his head to the four adults no doubt waiting just outside my door.
I smile, he must have heard my Mom yelling at me. I take a deep breath and let it out. "A nap sounds great but I will have to deal with them sooner than later so you may as well send them back in," I say, as I prepare for round two of the shitshow my life is now.
"I vote for tomorrow but how about a compromise?" he says, as he leaves the room and a few minutes later all four shuffle back in.
"The doctor says you need to rest and that we can come back in a couple of hours." My mom seems a little put out that her guilt trip has to wait.
Just then a yawn escapes and I am thankful that the doctor has given me a reprieve. My Mom and Dad come close to kiss my head and tell me they will be back later with Grandma. I tell them bye and look back and forth between Joe and Ranger.
Joe is the first to speak. "I have to go back to the station. I have paperwork to do. I'll see you later." He leans in to kiss my head and I give him a watery smile.
After the door closes, Ranger takes a few strides so he is alongside my bed. "How are you feeling?" he asks with concern.
"I'm fine. The drugs they gave me must be good because I don't feel anything yet." I say, in an effort to lighten the mood and put him at ease. He still looks tense and it's making me uneasy.
"What did the doctor say?" he asks as I notice him eyeing my metal sculpture. I pull it off of my table to look at it again.
"This is what they removed from me." I say as I hand it to him. He studies it from all sides like it is a Rubik's Cube he is trying to solve.
He looks back to me and says. "We have a lot to discuss but I want you to sleep," he says as he replaces the sculpture and glances at his watch. "I'll be back later and fill you in. Do you need anything before I go?" he asks.
I take a deep breath and let it out. "No, I just want to sleep. Thank you." I reply as I close my eyes exhausted by the day's events.
"Zip and Hal are outside. If you need anything, text me," he says, as he leans in and kisses me lightly on the lips.
"Goodnight" I say to him as I relax into the bed and fall quickly asleep.
I'm woken by my nurse and am a little confused as to where I am. Oh yeah. I'm in the freaking hospital. My nurse busies herself checking my vitals and refilling my water.
"How's my favorite patient?" she asks. I give her a quizzical look.
"Well, anyone who brings all these hot guys to my floor is my new favorite patient," she says with a wink. "Seriously, do you need anything for pain? Do you want to try to sit up? Are you hungry?" she asks and I shake my head at each question.
"Did my CT scan results come in?" I ask her.
"Well, the fact that you remember that you had a CT scan is good news. Let me check. Did Doctor Anderson come see you?" she asks, as she flips the page in my chart.
"No, I only saw the doctor that removed that hunk of metal," I say as I gesture to the table. "I think his name was Chapman or something."
"Yes, Dr Chapman was your surgeon. I see his notes here. I don't see anything from Dr. Anderson. It's getting late so let me page him." She pauses as she studies my file. "While I'm waiting, I'll check on your results. Then we can give you a better idea on when we are going to spring you from this place. Be back in a flash," she says as she hurries back out the door.
I pick the piece of metal up and study it again. It's probably junk that was in the yard and I landed on it when the force of the explosion blew me back. I put it back on my table and briefly wonder: if I was wearing a flak jacket would I still be in the hospital?
That was my last thought and when I wake up again I have to go through the 'where am I' song and dance. Crap, I'm still in the hospital. This is a trend that I really need to fix. I look around for a clock and see my phone sitting on the side table next to my metal sculpture. I'm keeping this thing, I decide. I should have it mounted on a pedestal and display it like an expensive piece of art. I roll my eyes at myself and continue with my plan to check the time.
Suddenly the pain is so bad that I forget to breathe and beads of sweat start to pop out on my forehead. I quickly change my plan from reaching for my phone to calling the nurse and to stop freaking moving. I'm able to press the button and wait while the worst of the pain subsides. After I feel I can breathe normally again, the nurse comes in and greets me cheerily.
"Hello Ms. Plum. I was waiting for you to wake up," she says as she checks my monitors. "How are you feeling?" she asks as she pulls my chart out.
"I hurt a lot." I say. A lot may be an understatement. I have never hurt this much and it seemed to come from out of the blue. "I don't understand, I didn't have any pain before." I said.
"Ah, yes, you were still benefiting from the medications they gave you during surgery. Apparently they have worn off. Look, you have a morphine pump. Here..." she says, showing me a hand held device where I can press a button "...all you have to do is press here and a dose of medicine will be administered through your IV. I believe you had a lot of muscle damage that had to be repaired," she continues to read my chart. "Yes, you are going to be very sore for a few days. Morphine affects people differently but you can expect to be drowsy. Don't be a hero, though. Use the morphine if you need it. There is no prize for putting up with pain," she says as she heads to the door. "I paged your neurologist two hours ago saying you were ready for a consult. I want to find him before the morphine puts you to sleep for his exam. I'll be back in a couple of minutes to let you know what I find out."
With that, she rushes out the door and I'm left with thoughts of how I'm going to get out of here tomorrow with an IV of morphine attached to me. How in the hell am I going to go to the bathroom if reaching for my phone hurts this much? I wonder as the nurse comes in with a white lab coat trailing behind.
"Ms. Plum, this is Dr. Anderson, he wants to check you out before you fall back to sleep."
She steps aside as Dr. Anderson comes close to the bed to evaluate me.
"Hello, Ms. Plum, your CT scan came back clear but I want to confirm the results with a physical exam," he says while using a pen light to shine in each of my eyes. I follow his directions when he asks me to track my pupils in each direction. I've been through this a few times so I know the drill.
"I don't think I can stand up or even move at this point," I say to him.
He continues to look at my chart and says. "Ah, I see why. You had a lot of muscle damage and yes, that will be quite painful for a while. Do you have a headache?" he asks.
"Yes, but it is nothing compared to the pain from moving." I tell him.
"What's your full name?"
"Stephanie Michelle Plum"
"What year is it?"
"2022"
"What do you do for a living?"
"I'm a bond enforcement agent."
"What is my name?"
"Dr. Anderson"
"What question did I ask you first?"
"My name."
"What's your nurse's name?"
I furrow my brow. What was her name? I don't think she told me her name as I try to recall. I glance away from the doctor to the board with my current info. "Anne" I say, smiling brightly. I'm pretty proud of myself for finding it. I couldn't remember.
The doctor smiles as he knows exactly how I came up with my answer. "Ok Ms. Plum. It seems like you have no lingering effects of the head trauma and based on your CT, it's not even a grade 1. I'll release you of everything head-related as long as your headache improves each day and you don't get any new symptoms. If you notice anything strange, you must come back immediately. Do you understand?" he asks and waits for my affirmative response before he continues. "I will put all of this in your discharge papers. So..."
"I'm getting discharged?" I interrupt, not hiding the hopefulness in my voice.
"No. WHEN you get discharged. Your surgeon still has to sign off. I'm done. You don't need any follow-up unless you get any worsening of your headache or any new symptoms," he says.
"I got it," I say dejectedly. I know I can't really go home in my current condition, but I got excited there for a minute. "I think I'll be stuck on this morphine pump anyways."
He nods and asks me if I have any questions before he heads out the door. I'm starting to get sleepy so I ask my nurse to turn off the lights so I can sleep. Pain wakes me several times during the evening and I woke in a sweat each time. I pressed the plunger and waited until the pain subsided enough but then the drowsiness overtook me. A couple of times, Joe or Ranger would be there when I would wake and they both showed concern about the pain I was in. I usually didn't stay awake that long but I noticed that Ranger was the only one here during the night. I also noticed that they would never be here at the same time. Not that that was a big surprise. Two alpha males usually don't play well together and this would definitely be a 'usually' situation.
I am awakened by the usual pain and press the button for the nurse without even opening my eyes. I open them when I hear a snicker. Joe. He sits in the chair next to my bed looking showered and ready for the day.
"Good morning, Cupcake" he says with a strange hitch in his voice. My Spidey- sense is tingling and I can't place what's causing it. I glance around the room and see that he brought flowers and a bakery bag. Odd. He has never bought me flowers before and didn't I just blow up his car? I furrow my brow.
"What's going on?" I ask, suspecting that I awoke in the Twilight Zone.
"Nothing. Can't I bring you flowers?" he says as he pushes the bakery bag to me.
I'm still hurting from the movement that woke me up but the medicine is starting to take the edge off. I reach for the remote and lift the bed. I steel myself for the pain and am surprised it's not as bad as I thought it would be.
"Hold on," I say as I make the bed rise to where I am part way up. I stop. The pain was starting to increase so I didn't want to continue. I take a breath and close my eyes. "This is pretty painful," I say as I finally take the bag. I look in and see an assortment of Tasty Pastry yumminess. I take another deep breath to inhale the sweetness of what is to come. I am definitely on board with this breakfast. I reach in for a Boston Crème and take a generous bite. "Oh" I moan. "I needed that. Thanks Joe." I finish my donut in no time and lick my fingers. I feel like I can function. Morphine and donuts are just the ticket. "What time is it?" I ask.
"It's 6:45" he says, and the nervousness I sensed earlier is still there.
"Are you on your way to work?" I ask.
"Yeah, I have roll call this morning so I can't stay long. I think Big Dog and Carl are going to stop by and get your statement about the fire. I'll text you when I find out when they're coming."
"Joe, I am really sorry about your car." I tell him.
"Don't worry about it, Steph," he says, making my Spidey-sense go off the charts. He never calls me Steph. What's going on? I wonder, he isn't yelling at me. He isn't calling me Cupcake. Is he breaking up with me? I make a face and he says.
"I have to go. That meeting..." He breaks off his sentence and then leans in for a kiss. He is acting so strange, I think to myself as I see him walk to the door. He turns and tells me he will stop by later. I am still thinking that something is definitely off with him when my Nurse comes rushing into my room. She introduces herself as Michelle and gives me a frown when she notices my bakery bag clutched in my hands.
"How are you feeling?" she asks.
"Good as long as I have morphine. When is this pain going to go away?"
"You are going to be in pain for a couple of days before it subsides enough to wean you off the strong stuff. You need to take it easy and not pull out any of the internal stitches. After a couple of days, you will be able to move around enough to go to the bathroom on your own. You will still need pain meds but we will hopefully be able to discontinue the IV"
I'm lying there, processing what she is saying when Ranger opens the door and comes in looking fresh and ready for the day. Both men in my life are early risers and I just can't get on board with that. I smile at him and he gives me a reassuring smile back.
"Okay, so I'll give you guys a few minutes but then I need to do my status check," she says as she leaves us alone.
"Good morning, you're up early," he says smiling. This smile reaches his eyes and I can't help the warm feeling it gives me when he is focused on me.
"You know, I just can't sleep in," I respond cheekily.
"How're you feeling?" he asks, taking the few steps toward me so that he can lean in and kiss me on the head.
"It was fine until I tried to move. Then it was pretty painful," I tell him honestly.
He glances at the bakery bag still clasped in my hands and raises an eyebrow.
"Joe was here a few minutes ago," I begin. "He was acting strange though." I add when his smile changes to the blank face. Interesting. Now I am sure something is going on. Just then, Michelle comes back into the room, arms full of saline bags, followed by another, smaller lady with a food cart.
"Breakfast," she says. As she is reaching for a carton of milk and a mystery item in a bowl, she asks me if I want orange juice or apple juice. I make a face looking at the contents of the bowl.
"It's oatmeal, Babe," Ranger says with his thinking of smiling look. "She'll take orange juice," he says to her.
I turn to give Ranger a disgusted look. There is no way I'm eating that! After the lady gives me my orange juice, she hands me a newspaper and before I can take it, Ranger steps forward and intercepts it. He tucks it under his arm and says. "What do you have in your bag?"
My attention on the newspaper is momentarily forgotten.
"Oh, I have donuts," I say as I glance over at my table.
"Let me" he says as he reaches for the bag and opens it up for me. I am thankful for his help. The less I move, the less pain I'm in. I reach in and grab a jelly donut. I would have preferred a Boston Crème but I ate the only one already. Joe got me an assortment so there is no more than one of each kind. They are all good, don't get me wrong, but I do have my faves and I'm a little disappointed that he doesn't know that about me. I push that thought away. I'm just thankful he brought me donuts at all so I mentally berate myself for being so thoughtless.
"Oh." I exclaim as I take a bite of my sugary concoction. I can feel the joy surging through my veins as I savor each bite. I expertly eat without getting jelly anywhere, licking the powdered sugar off my fingers after eating the last bite. This isn't my first rodeo...er donut, I think with a smile on my face. I notice Ranger staring at me and my cheeks turn a little pink. "What? " I ask, trying to hide my embarrassment. "This donut is a whole lot more appealing than the disgusting slop in that bowl over there." I finished gesturing to the questionable substance. The corners of his mouth tilt up in his thinking about smiling face. I'm amusing him again.
I decided to shift gears. "What do you have going on today?" I ask.
"We want to run checks on all the men at the house you went to yesterday. Lula said something about them knowing who you were. I want to see if this was a targeted attack or if you were in the wrong place at the wrong time. Can you tell me what you remember?"
"I remember Lula saying something like that to me too." Just then, Carl and Big Dog entered the room.
"Hey Steph, how are you feeling?" Carl asks.
"Sore. Really sore if I move." I told him.
"You were pretty lucky, Steph. It could have been a lot worse," he tells me and I agree. I don't want to think about all of the close calls I've had over the years. Honestly, this job definitely doesn't have lasting potential, I decide as Big Dog pulls me out of my internal thoughts.
"Can we get your statement?" he asks me.
"Sure, I was just about to tell Ranger everything I remember." I pause and glance at Ranger. He gives me a nod and a reassuring smile.
"Lula and I arrived at Lucas Diaz's house on the 1600 block of Kenilworth. We sat and observed the house for 15 minutes. We had already done two drive bys and I didn't notice anything suspicious with either of them. I parked right out front...I was in Morelli's new SUV." I add with a grimace. "Uh, I sent Lula around the back and she texted me she was in place then I knocked on the front door. A teenage male opened the door. I had to ask about Diaz a few times. I didn't introduce myself as a BEA. I just had a feeling that I was going to be met with buck shot through the door if I did. Anyways, before he opened the door, I saw the curtain move in the front window. I remember him going through like five deadbolts before getting the door open. That's when I noticed he was just a kid, Latino. Not my skip. He asked what I wanted and I said it was a personal matter. That's when I heard a strange thump. I asked what it was and he said he didn't know. He was blocking my view and my path so I backed away from the door and down the stairs. I ran around to the back and saw Lula sitting in a thorn bush. She was not happy and I had to help her disentangle herself. The thorns were tearing her skin and clothing and she was pissed. She said something about "Manoso's Woman" and I got a weird feeling." I used air quotes with "Manoso's Woman" then I continued "I got her free as soon as I could and we headed to the car. We were about 15 feet away from the car when Lula said that they may have recognized my name and I told her that I didn't introduce myself and they had to have recognized my face. I had stopped to tell her that and then the next thing I remember is waking up in recovery. I remember little things here or there, like thinking the fire was so out of place and the flames were shooting so high. I remember the EMT in the ambulance telling me I scared him and the doctors and nurses trying to ask me questions. That's it. Everything else is fuzzy." I finish and look back and forth at the three men in my room.
"Do you remember seeing Lucas Diaz at all?" Big Dog asks.
"No. I only saw the boy. I'm guessing his age is around sixteen because he was still in that awkward, gangly acne stage." I reply.
Big Dog, who had been writing down my statement, closed his notebook and nervously glanced at Ranger. "Is that all you remember Steph?" he asks again. Something is weird. My Spidey-sense is off the charts.
"If I think of anything else, I'll call you." I tell him.
"Did Joe come see you?" he asks out of the blue.
"Yeah", I reply. "He brought me flowers and donuts." I furrow my brow. Why wouldn't Joe come and see me? I wonder. He's still my boyfriend, right? Maybe he's pissed about his car. If they thought he was pissed, then why would he bring me stuff. He's never brought me anything before. He usually yells at me, I yell back and we break up for a while. We have done that song and dance way too many times, I think sardonically. Maybe he's going to start supporting me so we don't keep doing this on/off thing, that'd be a nice change. Maybe something good will come out of this after all.
"That's what I landed on in the yard." I tell them and point to the metal thing that had to be surgically removed. "Do you need it for evidence?" I ask and Carl shakes his head.
"Give it to Joe, he may be able to use it to hide his Malox stash," he says and I give him a pissy look.
"Ok Steph," Carl says. "I'll write up your statement and bring it by later so you can sign it. I'm glad you're okay."
"Yeah, feel better," Big Dog adds.
They leave Ranger and I alone and I glance his way. He's searching my face for my reaction adding to my suspicion.
"What's going on?" I ask for the second time this morning. He avoids my question and looks at his watch.
"I have to go. I have a meeting across town. I want to start those searches so we can get to the bottom of this. I have back-to-back meetings until lunch but I should be able to swing back by around then. Do you have any requests for lunch that doesn't involve grease?" he says with an eyebrow raised. Well, now he's just showing off. I scrunch my nose and tell him that I could go for Chinese food. He knows what I like so I don't bother telling him my order. "I'll be back later," he says as he leans in for another kiss to my head.
After he leaves, I yawn. I've had a lot of excitement this morning and it's not even 7:30. I deserve a nap. I settle back in my bed and close my eyes. The thoughts of the morning still swirling around in my head until I lose my battle with consciousness.
My nurse wakes me up as she is changing my urine bag. If I ever thought of being a nurse, this would definitely be a mark against it. I just can't see myself taking care of that kind of thing. It's bad enough that I have to deal with naked old men but bodily fluids really gross me out. Urine is about as bad as vomit. I grimace at the thought.
"Are you in pain?" she asks.
"Oh no, I'm just grossed out by the bag of urine and it's mine. I can't see how you wouldn't be grossed out more." I tell her.
"You get used to it," she says as she keeps doing her mid-morning tasks.
The door opens and the breakfast cart lady comes in and takes my uneaten oatmeal. When she glances at my face, her eyes get big.
"You're her!" she says. An uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach starts as it does when I am recognized for something bad I did. "You're The Bombshell Bounty Hunter!" she adds, making the uneasy feeling grow. I drop my head and close my eyes.
My nurse looks at the lady and asks, "Can you check on the patient in the next room? He was asking for more juice."
I looked up and gave her an appreciative smile. I hate getting recognized as the BBH.
"Okay," the breakfast cart lady says. "I'll just leave you today's newspaper. You made the cover!" She lays the newspaper on the foot of my bed.
My nurse comes by quickly to pick it up and ushers her out the door, leaving me alone with my chart still open on my side table. I'm filled with dread about the story and my making headlines for another disaster. On one hand, I want to see the paper to know how bad my Mother is going to be but on the other, I don't want to see the paper because it'll just show me how much my life is entertainment for the Greater Trenton area. When my nurse comes back in, she resumes her checks and I ask for the paper.
"Oh, she already left. I bet they already handed them all out. Sorry," she says and now I wonder if I really need to see it. I know it'll be humiliating and do I really want to put myself through that? But then I think back to earlier this morning, and I remember Ranger putting the paper under his arm and walking out with it. Soooo, Ranger took my first paper and my nurse took the second. I pull out my phone. I really have to see what's in the paper now. I unlock my phone and Google search the Trenton Times. On the screen for all to see is the headline photo of me standing there with my back to the camera. The metal sculpture is embedded in my back and Joe is red faced screaming at me, arms up in the air. You can see the flames that were still burning his car in the background. My shoulders are slumped and blood had already soaked through my pants and shirt making it cling to me. My jacket was caught on the metal bunching up above it. The smoke off at a distance does nothing to blur the image that this photo displays. It's actually quite a spectacular shot if it didn't sum up my disastrous life and shitty relationship with Joe. I read the headlines. "Bombshell Bounty Hunter Strikes Again: Two explosions this time".
I read through the article and the hits keep coming. I'm glad I don't have an audience for this since I have tears streaming down my face and my nose is running. I have to wipe my eyes so I can see the screen. Apparently, I was just standing there while Joe was yelling at me when I collapsed. I don't remember this at all. The article pointed out that I may have been suffering from a head trauma or blood loss but Officer Morelli was more upset about his car being destroyed than about his girlfriend being hurt. I see more photos that show me laying on the ground and the EMS rushing to me. I also read that Lula and I were in a dangerous area since a power line had broken due to the fire and we were close enough that the EMT's couldn't help us. I had gotten both of us to a safe area and we were both taken to St Francis Memorial Hospital where Lula was treated and released. My status was listed as stable. I look around and don't see anything that could be used as a tissue so I press my call button to call my nurse. She comes in a few minutes later and looks at me with alarm.
"What's wrong?" she asks, concern evident in her voice.
"I just read the newspaper article on my phone. Can you get me a box of tissues? My life sucks," I tell her. She gives me a sad smile and goes into a closet by my sink area and produces a brand new box of tissues. "I've already read the article so you may as well bring me the paper." I say to her. She gives me a guilty look, knowing that I called her on her lie earlier. "Oh and I don't want to see Joseph Morelli. I actually don't want to see anyone right now. Can you keep everyone out?" I ask.
"How about the hunky men guarding your door?" she asks.
"They're fine, just don't let anyone in here that doesn't work for the hospital." I tell her.
"Sure thing, I can do that," she responds.
I know my Nurse and Ranger didn't want to upset me but this is pretty bad and I have a right to know. I don't like when people keep things from me like I'm a child and can't handle it. I'm an adult! I have to handle this.
I tell her thanks and I send a quick text to Ranger.
Steph: I saw the paper and have asked to keep everyone out. Rain check for Chinese?
Ranger: Sorry. Didn't want you to find out like this.
Steph: I'm an adult. Keeping stuff from me is not the answer.
Ranger: Let me bring Chinese for lunch. I'll have the searches back by then.
Steph: I'm not hungry. Maybe tomorrow. I just need to sleep.
The day passes without any issues. I did turn off my phone and that probably kept a lot of drama at bay. I hear voices in the hallway and realized that Joe was trying to badge his way in. I had already informed my nurse that he would probably try that and to call the hospital security if they had to. No one was dead so he didn't have police business here and his badge shouldn't get him in my room.
I haven't eaten much, not even the rest of the guilt donuts but it wasn't like I was hungry anyways. I just want to sleep. I turn on my phone a few times to text a few people that I was alright, I still wasn't seeing anyone, and that I would respond to them in a few days. My text to Ranger was similar.
Steph: I'm still not up to seeing anyone. Please understand. I need to do this my way.
Ranger: Understood. I'm here when you need me.
I analyze his message and note that he said when, not if. I guess I do always need him. I have to face the fact that I'm a disaster and would always be a disaster unless I made some changes. I know Ranger is only guilty of trying to protect me but he doesn't have the right to keep information from me. It looks like he was also trying to protect Joe. I didn't know what to do about that. I guess when Joe is in the picture, he's in the clear. No possible romantic entanglements for him and me. Now that Joe and I are done for good (and we are so done for good now) the pressure on Ranger is greater.
I need to think of what's best for me. I know Ranger isn't offering a relationship. I would take his friendship but I need to set some boundaries so the lines don't get blurred. He's always pushing the boundaries. What did he say? "If I feel those boundaries relax..." or something like that. I can't let that happen. I need to get my life together. He's my friend. There are no more "benefits" with him. I need privacy and I need to be in control of me. I need to work but I can't work for Vinnie for several weeks. I don't see that I have another choice but to depend on Ranger for a job. I'm going to make some changes this time though. No kisses. No touching. No teasing. No flirting. It's a job, and temporary at that, until I figure out what I want to be when I grow up.
I'm happy with my decisions and I spend the next couple of days doing exactly what the doctors and nurses tell me to do and by the third day, I was off the morphine and walking around my room with only moderate pain. I still take ibuprofen but that's to be expected. I'm getting released today now that I can walk to the bathroom. Getting the catheter out last night was a big deal and I celebrated with a cup of green Jell-O. I texted Ranger the good news.
Steph: Can you send someone to take me home?
Ranger: Time?
Steph: Sometime later this afternoon.
Ranger: Lmk.
I know I have probably added a lot of drama to my life by refusing to see anyone. I just needed time to sort through what I wanted and not say anything out of anger. I feel I can now have a grown up discussion with everyone about everything that's happened over the last few weeks. It's about time.
My discharge goes smoothly and I'm given all my paperwork and have signed all my forms. Ranger is waiting for me as I sit in my wheelchair in my borrowed scrubs. I didn't want to see anyone so I didn't call anyone to bring me clothes. I need to start depending on others less and myself more.
"Thank you for driving me home." I tell Ranger. I'm only going to ask him for things as a friend. That's all we are right?
"I'm happy to help. We still need to go over the intel so we can determine if you were targeted. Until we find out, I would prefer you stay with me at Rangeman," he says as he helps me into the Rangeman SUV. I'm glad he had enough forethought to bring this car. I don't think I could have gotten in a lower vehicle. Once I'm settled, we make our way across town.
"I'm sorry I refused to see you. I thought it best to be alone. It will make it easier for me when I do speak to the others." I say sincerely. I want to address the elephant in the room first.
"I know," he responds, and gives my arm a reassuring squeeze.
After he gets into the driver's seat, he starts the car but makes no move to put it in gear. He turns and looks at me questioningly.
"I want to go to my apartment. I have a lot of relationships to deal with and I can't do that from Rangeman. I'm sorry. I appreciate all that you have done for me and all that you are willing to do but I'm a big girl. I have to deal with this on my own."
He nods, puts the car in gear, and we begin our short trip to my apartment.
"Thank you for taking care of Rex while I've been in the hospital. Joe wouldn't have thought to do that," I point out.
"I'm always here Babe, whatever you need."
We settle into a comfortable silence after that. He pulls right up to the double doors leading into my apartment and I'm glad. I can walk, but after about 10 minutes I'm done. It's a combination of pain and fatigue. I have a long way to go to recover. I didn't know how bad this was going to be. I thought I would be back to normal in a few days but that is definitely not the case. Ranger carries my bag and stays close enough to give me a hand if I need it. I make it to the elevator without any significant problems. Mrs. Bestler isn't there but I smile at the thought of what she would say. I lean against the wall starting to feel the sharp increase in pain. All of the excitement of getting discharged and the walking really pushed me over the edge and I feel it.
"All I need right now is a pain pill and my bed. I'll call you when I wake up and we can go over what you have on the situation. It was probably just me being in the wrong place at the wrong time," I try to reassure him. I'm all for denial-land. My life is a mess right now and I can't deal with any additional stress.
I pull out my keys and hand them to Ranger. He unlocks my door and motions for me to stay put while he checks the place for criminals. Everything checks out and he's back to me in just a couple of minutes. He helps me off the wall I was leaning on and leads me to my bedroom, dropping off my bags on the way. While I go into the bathroom to get ready for my long nap, Ranger goes to the kitchen to get me a glass of water and some goldfish crackers to put on my nightstand. He really is super human knowing exactly what I need. Well, except with a relationship. With that situation, he's clueless.
I had come out with my hands and face scrubbed and my pjs on. I'm moving slowly, and all I can think about is sleeping for hours. Ranger doubles back to me to help me get to the bed. He hands me the water and my pain pill and I take it from his open palm.
"I am so excited to sleep on my stomach." I tell him. "I couldn't really do that in the hospital bed so I'm looking forward to it now," I say as I gently climb into bed.
"Good night Babe. Text me when you wake up and I'll bring Rex and all the intel we have so far. I'll bring dinner too. Just get some sleep. I'll take care of everything." His words make me relax and I snuggle into my comfy bed and fall asleep within minutes.
I'm jolted awake by pain. I've come to expect this since it has happened just about every time since my surgery. I try to relax and concentrate on breathing in and out. The pain lessens and I'm able to move around gradually increasing my movements until I can sit up. I've found that this is easier and less painful.
I pull my phone off my nightstand and text Ranger.
Steph: I'm up and ready to go
Ranger: Be there in 30
I decide to text Joe to get the final breakup over with. I don't think I can put it off much longer. I also need to get the confrontation with my Mother over with but I have to take one thing at a time.
Steph: Can you come to my apartment tomorrow after work? We need to talk.
Joe: I'll be there.
I look at my watch. 29 minutes until Ranger gets here. What do I do until then? I don't really feel like watching TV. I did that a lot in the hospital. I decide to do my exercises that the PT at the hospital showed me. She didn't think I needed outpatient PT if I did my exercises regularly. She was really good about giving me exercises I could do without fancy equipment. I do need to lay on the ground and that is where I was when Ranger found me. He knocks on my door and I have to yell for him to come in.
"It's locked Babe."
"Can you get in? I really can't come to the door right now," I yell, lying on the floor and feeling embarrassed that I can't get up on my own. A few seconds later, Ranger lets himself in and raises one eyebrow as he looks at me laying flat on my back on the floor between my living room and dining area.
"I sorta got stuck. I laid down to do my exercises and I can't get up." I put my hand up to cover my eyes. Ranger has a full smile on his face and normally I love to see him smile but not this time. This time, I want to crawl in a hole and hide until I'm back to being a fully functional adult.
"I've been there before and know how bad this hurts," he tells me as he comes over to me. "Just let me do all the work. Try to relax your muscles and I'll pick you up," he says, knowing just how to hold me to get me to trust he can do this. My pain was surprisingly a lot less than when I was trying to get up under my own power. I guess no more floor exercises. The bed isn't ideal since it is so soft but at least I can get up from it.
"Thanks" I say when he places me on my feet. I really want to be independent but I guess that's not a possibility yet. He goes back to the door and brings in two large bags. He goes into the kitchen and puts the bags on the counter. He pulls Rex's aquarium out of one of the bags. The other bag is filled with food.
"I brought you some groceries," he says as he starts to unload them. "I had Ella make you some single serve meals so you can just warm them up in the microwave. The rest is the basics, milk, fruit, veggies, lunch meat and of course, peanut butter and white bread," he says as he turns to look at me. "There may or may not be Tasty cakes in there but I will deny it if you tell anyone," he says, with a thinking-about-smiling smile.
I take a breath and let it out.
"Thank you again. I don't know how I would have made it without your help," I say. He just made my life a whole lot easier. I honestly don't know what I would do without him.
"No price Babe," he answers, getting back to business. "So, how about we eat and go over what we know so far?" he asks and just then, there is a knock at my door. I'm not expecting anyone so I look at Ranger with a furrowed brow.
"I'll get it. It's our food," he says, as he folds up the grocery bag and makes his way to the door. He verifies that it's the delivery person and opens the door to a young man holding a bag of delicious smelling Chinese food. My stomach growls in appreciation and I go to the kitchen to get our plates and drinks. I meet Ranger at the table and we set everything out so we can have a working dinner.
As we eat, Ranger fills me in on all of the men at the house that day. When we finish, we clean up and spread out all of the paperwork that represents each person. No one has any direct connection to me outside of the skip that I was there to pick up. Apparently, though, Mr. Diaz was not as he appeared. He was a first timer but his background shows lots of interesting 'known associates' and he is not an entry level player. He really should have been a Rangeman skip but he fooled everyone by staying out of trouble this long. At 25, he's practically retirement age for his line of work.
"What do we know about Joe's car?" I ask, not seeing anything that would make me think I'm in danger.
"It was a bomb. The detonation was on a timer. The C4 was minimal but the fact that they have C4 and can use it raises a lot of red flags," he says, looking at me, trying to gauge my reaction.
"No wonder you got all excited," I say, finally understanding why he was pushing to go over this. "So, while I ran around the back of the house to help Lula, someone put the bomb on my car?" I ask, puzzled at how someone could have done that so quickly.
"It really doesn't take that long if you know what you're doing. And this was done by someone who knew exactly what they were doing. The time, the placement, the equipment all scream professional. What we can't figure out is if they were trying to blow you up as well. If you hadn't stopped to ask Lula about what she said to you, you would have been closer and things would have gone differently," he says seriously. "The police are being very tight lipped about this. Hector had to hack into the PD servers to get the report. I had to call the Chief to find out more about the device that was used. I offered to get the info to a few of my contacts to see if any of the alphabet agencies have seen this particular device before. We're waiting to hear back."
I can't help but notice the difference between Ranger and Joe. Joe would have never shared this much information with me. Is Ranger sharing everything? Probably not, but Joe would have said "I can't talk about an ongoing case" -blah blah blah! Joe sucks.
I sigh. "I'm ending it with Joe," I say after a long silence. "I'm tired of the way he treats me. I'm tired of the way my Mom treats me too but I really can't break up with her." I say, trying to lighten the mood after the bomb I just dropped.
I search for an emotional reaction. Any reaction. Ranger just looks at me with his blank face. I take another deep breath.
"I have a lot of changes I need to make. I'm letting too many people call the shots in my life. I can't do it anymore. I know I'm not in a position to do it yet. Look at me. I couldn't even get off the floor without your help. I know I still need people. I still need you." I say as I study my feet.
"I'm here whenever you need me. I'm glad you trust me enough to let me help you," he says, letting the blank face fall so I can see that his words are sincere. I want to shift our conversation back to less emotional topics.
"So what's next? We wait for your contacts to find out if there is a known bomber with this MO?
"Yes. We're at a dead end otherwise. I need you to be extra vigilant. I need you to carry your gun. Loaded." He pauses, giving me a look that emphasizes the loaded part. "I have a car sitting in your lot. It's a Rangeman vehicle but it comes equipped with a bomb sensor and remote start. Please use both. I don't care if it gets blown up as long as you're not in it. Please don't fight me on this. I really don't feel comfortable with you driving a regular car. I would love for you to do searches for us. You're the best researcher we have. Trust me. I don't lie to you..." He tries to continue but I interrupt him.
"Okay, I give in. I'm not going to fight you on this. I'll drive your car and work for you. If, and this is a big if, you let me pay you for the car 'rental' shall we say?"
Ranger knows when to fight and when to surrender when it comes to me. He wisely surrenders and agrees to my demands.
"Fine, but I'll quote out what I pay to rent a vehicle and that's the rent you pay. I'll factor in the cost of the car, and the age and mileage. I'll deduct that from your paycheck." I know he's going to pull some crap about depreciation and charge me very little but I can't really renegotiate now when neither of us knows what that is at this point. I agree to his conditions but plan to revisit our agreement when I know what he's charging me. I don't want to be in any more debt than I already am.
I'm relieved that I don't need to deal with getting a car right now and some weight is lifted off me. I have a job. I have a car. I have food to eat. I have everything I need thanks to Ranger.
"Thank you ... for everything," I say as the fatigue creeps back in. Every cell of my body is exhausted and I want to sleep. I get up slowly and walk over to him. He gently pulls me onto his lap. His big arms come around me and I feel safe and loved. I can finally relax. I sag into him. He knows he can't squeeze me tight so he strokes the back of my head instead.
"I'm glad you're safe," he says as he kisses my head. I could stay like this forever but I know that's not possible. I'll have to leave his lap eventually. I reluctantly move to get up and he lets me go.
"I think I need to go to bed," I say.
Ordinarily, Ranger would be all over that comment but with my injuries and the serious topics we have touched on, now is not the time for flirting. I turn to face him.
"I need to get back. I have a lot of paperwork to do. It's never ending," he says, shaking his head.
"Maybe I can help with that too when I come in?"
"That would be great."
Ranger makes sure I have everything I need and we make a plan for the next few days. I'm going to lay low in my apartment for a couple of days and get better. I would show up to work next Monday morning at 9:00am and go from there. In the meantime, I had to break up with Joe and put my Mother in her place. I am done with her criticism. If she can't keep her comments to herself, then I won't be around to hear them. Either way I'm done.
I'm asleep as soon as I hit the pillow.