Authors Note: This takes place after the events of the first season. I tried not to change too much, but here is some cannon divergence (if you have seen the last two episodes you'll know what I'm referring to). Because I liked the idea of the symbolism, and I wish they did more with it.
Warning: for mentions of human body parts ( again, if you have seen the show you probably know) and some language.
It was a cloudy night near the Dinkley residence. Diya Dinkley and her kid, Velma Dinkey, were preparing to stay up that night watching one of Velma's favorite series. The problem was their fun was halted by an unending loading screen that warped minutes into eternity. The buffering symbol was hypnotic in the ways each of the gray segments lit up around the circle.
"So, we're watching Boo Boo Bear 3? What happened to Boo Boo Bear 2?"
Diya Dinkley asked. She was now lounging on the couch as her daughter used the TV remote to mess with the HDMI and reload the page.
"I tried to download it, Mom. But you know how streaming services are these days. They take things on and off of their platform whenever they feel like it. Leaving us, loyal Boo Boo Bear followers dead in the water."
"I don't understand. Don't we have to watch it in order?"
"The 3 is misleading. They did that for marketing purposes. This is actually a reboot and a live-action adaption so be warned there will be a lot of outdated pop culture references in the background and a lot of these actors are newbies. You also have to really pay attention to the story to get what's happening. But trust me, this is one of the better sequels in the franchise."
"Alright, whatever you say. As long as this doesn't follow the plot of my second book "Detective Jinkies and the Ursine of Coolsville. That one bombed harrrddd!" Her mother said as she raised a bottle full of idea juice.
"I can guarantee you this definitely has no anthropomorphic wrestling bear personas with dark agendas. It's not as common of a trope as one might think."
"Ayeee!" Diya cheered. She circled the glass around like it was a T-shirt at a football rally. Velma hurried over to the couch push the glass away from her mother's delicate head.
"Woah Mom, don't get too tipsy. We still have to write an over 1,000-word review after and post it online." Velma cuddled up closer to her mom. The movie had finally finished. She was ready to press the play icon on the TV remote when-
knock*knock* *knock*
Her mom glanced around the room to figure out where the noise was coming from.
"Say. Did you hear that?"
"Hear what?"
KnoCk* KnOCK!*
It did it again.
Velma tried to ignore it. But the knocking kept getting louder. Soon it was followed by what sounded like wipers on a window and a soft rattling noise.
There was only one thing that could cause this.
"Nnnnghhh." Velma leaned her head back on the cushions in frustration. "Are Sophie and Dad trying to break through the windows, Again? That's the third time this week!"
Diya placed her hand on her daughter's shoulder.
"You know honey, I think we'll eventually have no choice, but to let them in. Clearly, blocking off all the entrances and putting up signs that say 'NO BABY MAMA DRAMA ALLOWED!' isn't working. And just because they are in our house doesn't mean we have to be all super buddy-buddy with them. We can have them stay somewhere else like the attic or the kitchen."
"No, Mom! you can't…If we let them in, they'll start ratting you out instead. Then you'll be the one ending up on the streets. In my experience of giving extra change to the homeless, being a beggar out on the streets is almost as bad as being trapped in a cave or locked up in a cell. Here, you suffered enough." She pulled the blanket over her mothers' feet and waist. "Don't stress it, Mom. You stay. Your baby is going to have to scare away some unneeded company."
"Umm…okay? Stay safe." Diya waved to her daughter as she wandered off to get her special tools.
Velma grabbed her lucky beating cane from the closet along with a can of some sprayable bleach. "Better bring this for good measure."
She made her way to the window with both of her weapons held up over her head as she cautiously inched towards it. There wasn't much talking on the other side.
It was strange.
What were they plotting beyond the veil?
Well, there's only one way to find out.
With one fell swoop she slid the curtain over.
BANG!*
An object came flying at her at record speed. She braced herself for impact with only the thin sheet of glass to protect her.
Velma examined the smudges it left.
"A Shoe?"
A pair of legs dangled in front of her view.
They were attempting to come in from the top.
The rattling got louder.
"He's going for the latch. Not on my watch."
She waited for the perfect moment to open up the bottom half of the window.
THWACK!*
"WaWa WahhMmnnnnmmff." he wailed.
The blow from the beating cane was a direct hit to the colon.
The man's arm reacted by going to the targeted area which caused him to lose balance. They tried to recover by swinging their entire lower half in motion.
The direction the legs were heading was forward.
Back to where Velma's face was located.
The second incoming shoe managed to knock her glasses off. Their legs swayed again forward and they jammed their feet inside the bottom of the window. She heard the ends of the shoes slip and her dad falling into the bushes outside. The culprit sprung back up. His silhouette lunged at her.
"Aaaaaah! Stay back!" Velma shouted.
She pointed the can at the attacker and fired. A streamlined jet of fluid sprayed out. She was then met by an incredibly sharp stinging sensation in her corneas.
"GAhhhahhahh!"
Velma's eyes turned all red and puffy.
Dammit, the hole in the can was pointed backward.
"Are you okay?" the silhouette asked.
That voice.
She'd recognize that voice anywhere. It was way too high to be her dad's.
"Fred!?"
"hi."
He popped his head in and curiously looked down only to see Velma wallowing on the floor.
"Ah no. My sweet widdle water buffalo. Let me help you."
The boy stepped over the windowsill to pick up her glasses. Unfortunately, the fumes from the high basic solution were still lingering in the air.
"Acckkk! *cough* *cough* Gahh, My eyes! They are frying themselves out of my skull! Aaahhh!" he shrieked in pain.
"What are you doing here?"
"Neat story. You see, ummm….I was on my way home when the van, stopped cuz I-uhh ran over your mailbox. I came to pay you off."
"Jinkies, You're still riding the pedo van around? Goddammit Fred, are you trying to break the world record for how many times a white guy can get arrested? And barging in through the window? This isn't even your usual window you use to watch me sleep."
"Yes, but this is the only one I can see through. Bunch of boards and planks are blocking the rest," he said as he crouched down to lift her up.
Fred handed Velma her glasses back. She put them on to take a good look at the classmate standing before her.
Even with her impaired vision, she could spot a few things that were off.
His ascot was partially untied and dripping over his collar. His hair was a mess with leaves and twigs sticking out of it. In addition to his eyelids being swollen from the corrosive were also a ton of markings on his skin, tears in his fancy man blouse, and some strange arrangement going on with his lower half.
He looked pretty banged up compared to his typical golden boy self.
She swore she didn't hit him THAT hard.
She looked back to the dim light emanating from the TV in the living room.
Boo Boo Bear 3 was one the top of her 'things to watch' list she made for when her mom came back.
They would've done this earlier, but schoolwork got in the way. The title of valedictorian doesn't reclaim itself y'know? It was especially tough now since she had to compete with her former study partner Norville. And although her friend was currently lacking the motivation to study, his parents weren't going to let him tank his grades just like that.
So Velma kept working and working with little to no free time to spend with her mother.
All she had asked for today was to have zero interruptions.
Was that so hard?
Anyways, she couldn't just leave him like this.
Hazards had to be dealt with.
Velma began pushing him towards the bathroom as he drugged his feet on the carpet.
"C'mon. Let's fix your eyes before you run over an orphanage or something…"
"Washies would be good. I really hope I don't run into this wall."
"The wha-?"
THUD*
Her head slammed against the wall.
—
One recovery later…
They were inside the bathroom next to her room to wash off. She turned on the water for him. They made rounds splashing the water into their faces and wiping off the chemical residue to keep it from seeping into the skin and eating their insides.
The main sink was split into two across the counter so they could safely practice social distancing. Too bad someone didn't get the memo.
Fred contorted his body like a broken tree as he gradually leaned closer to her. He kept staring at her through the mirror before doing it directly.
"Sssooo it's been a while, hehe. How's your brain been? Umm,…is it still working?"
"Yes, it's above average. As usual."
She turned her head towards the mirror.
"Fred, you're not still mad at me about that? Are you?" she adjusted her glasses and wiped off the suds with her thumbs.
"What? No," he shook his head. "You saved me. I can't thank you enough. It's Norville we should be worried about. It's his fault. You should really stop hanging out with him."
"Riiigghhtt…" She took a good few steps away from him.
"But-but I do have one question that's been burning in the back of my mind, and I've been thinking about it ever since when we were tied down to that table together. I know you said you were kidding with your whole spiel on racial, gender equality, and self-victimization and the fact you were willing to cut your head open while you were still awake and I Uh-"
"Spit it out, Fred!"
"Did…you..," he gulped, "want…to be me?…"
"…!"
"…?"
"*Cough* I mean I won't be offended if you say yes. If a brain-swapping mad scientist had asked me if I wanted to be someone super cool like Chris Hemsworth, I'd have been all like 'Heck yeah!'. Ooh! or,…or someone like Mystique. That way I could turn into whatever I want and also be a thick sexy blue chick!"
"Okay, first of all," Velma started. "That last example is cheating. You can't just say you want to be everyone. That ruins all the stakes. And your fixation with Marvel disgusts me…
And to answer your question. As if I would work with an insane serial killer who wanted to destroy my life! They kidnapped my mom for crying out loud. When they gave me that offer to switch places with you, all I could think about is How could I get the deranged weirdo to keep them from hurting more people? And how could I get my mom out of prison? Also, framing me and giving me heart-stopping nightmarish hallucinations did not exactly sell their cause."
"Oh…." He didn't seem very satisfied with that answer. She could care less. It was the truth, after all.
…
However,
She'd be lying to herself if obtaining all that power wasn't tempting.
Part of Velma was always a little jealous of people like him. It just seemed that they could get away with anything.
One of the company's founders was exposed as a serial killer. Not only did his psycho bitch mom slice open the heads of underaged girls but she also mentally tortured a poor woman of color. And All JGA's is going to get is maybe a few lawsuits at best and a short drop in sales. In the end, the Jones family will keep all the power they had before, and their precious little son will bounce back to being the most desirable and popular boy at school. Then take his title as CEO once he graduates.
Meanwhile, Velma's family was still suffering from the consequences of the Jones' shitty actions. If he thought the time he spent in prison was rough, the police wanted to immediately put her mom on death row. They still do. Once Diya had gotten out the main officers did nothing to accommodate her missing person status, and told her she was lucky to be released at all due to her involvement with the crime.
She and her daughter were barely scraping by with enough money to support themselves and their few luxuries. Diya managed to squeeze a couple of bucks out from her husband by threatening child abuse allegations. And with low book sales from biased consumers and Velma getting unjustly fired from her minimum wage job as a waitress. They had to do whatever they could to survive.
The system was against them and it just wasn't fair.
Some time had passed before Fred quietly spoke up again.
"So hehe, is that the only reason?"
"What are you talking about?"
He kept eyeing his pants and then back up at her and then back down again and blushed and laughed nervously as if he was trying to clue in on something that he was too embarrassed to say aloud.
"He can't be serious, right?" she thought.
Is that what this is about? Is he still hung up on that? Literally, everyone in the world forgot about that except for him.
She answered bluntly.
"I was born with a vagina, Fred. Why would I care what size mine is?"
"Well, I was wondering about it since you said all that stuff about me at the trial and-"
"I was giving an example, okay? I had to make the comparison so I could prove that you weren't like all those other school shooter types. And it worked. Or at least it would've if you sat your ass down for one second and didn't admit to the court you were a murderer."
She huffed and sighed. "But I suppose if I did have a fragile male ego, it MIGHT bother me. But you're only what, 16? You're still growing up and trust me it's not fun. And also, news flash. Girl puberty is way harder than guy puberty.
You guys get bigger and stronger.
And what do we get? Bad acne, a uterus that bleeds out Niagara Falls every month, irrational mood swings, unnecessary weight gain around your thighs and hips. And then sometimes your boobs don't even grow that big. And you're like, Hey! What the hell was the point?" She splashed the water. Some of the droplets clung to the mirror. "Besides, you've already won the genetic lottery. It'd be pretty out of character for your luck to all of a sudden give up on you."
"Gee, you really think so?" His face lit up brighter than the sun.
Crap what had she done?
It was too late to take it back now.
He was already giggling to himself and had a big dumb grin on his face like he'd been given the grandest compliment in the world.
She thought to herself "What would his reaction be if I had really told him how I felt?"
That deep down she had secretly wished puberty would find some way to screw him over. And how she craved the cathartic feeling of seeing him get ruined like all those singers in those teeny-bop boy bands from the early 2000s.
She tried hard to imagine him with an Adam's apple jutting out of his neck, greasy hair dripping oil onto his face creating a population of pimples with little black hairs randomly growing all over the place, a pointy chin, a hunched back, extended arms and legs disproportionate to the rest of his body and to his tiny dong. A hairy pepperoni pizza on stilts with a little bit of sausage in the center.
Or maybe it'd be better for her if they scrapped his body altogether and stuffed his stupid brain in a jar.
Then at least she could take him seriously.
Anything to destroy the lingering fantasies she still had about him.
Velma dialed up the pressure on the water spout. She clawed and scraped at the dirt in between her fingernails. Her palms turned pinkish from the heat.
Fred ran his fingers through his hair and flipped his golden bangs. Twigs and leaves fell from the air like Japanese cherry blossoms. The droplets of water created a reflective rainbow aura which made him shimmer and sparkle in the light of the liquid crystals."
"Tch. Show off…" she muttered.
"Just don't look at him…don't look at him, and his charming spell won't have any effect on you."
She had often pondered the question.
"Why would you fall in love with the boy who sat on your face at lunch all those years ago?"
And she had tried for years to find a deeper meaning to it. She searched and searched for it.
There just wasn't one…
But she couldn't say that.
She could never say that.
Then she'd be admitting that she was just as shallow as he was.
Liking him literally went against everything she stood for.
It made her a hypocrite and she hated it.
And that wasn't the end of it. She and Daphne had finally rekindled their friendship after years of misunderstandings and what she had with her felt like it was developing into a real relationship. And as if that wasn't crazy enough she had recently confessed her feelings for her best friend right in front of her girlfriend.
She didn't need any more of this shit in her life!
By now she had looked down to see her own hand's red welts burning from the scalding water and intense rubbing. She had hardly noticed.
Was her mind not stimulated enough? Did she need a murder mystery to distract herself from this? To attempt to not immediately imagine him naked.
No, this was his fault!
He was the one who wasn't leaving her the hell alone.
Why did Fred have to go back to acting like he was obsessed with her now?
What's his endgame?
Theories began to run through her mind for his possible motives.
"It has to be one of those setups popularized by teen dramas set in high school," she thought, "The one where the handsome guy pretends to go out with the self-conscious ugly girl as a dare to get her to feel worse about herself...Although,… I haven't seen anyone try this hard. He should be able to tell by now that it's not gonna work."
She thought some more.
"Is this a long con revenge scheme for the jail thing? But I wasn't the one who called the police that ordered the arrest. So that can't be it."
Is it really something as simple as him not being able to accept that a girl like her rejected him?
A lightbulb went off inside her mind.
"Ahh. Now his silly questions make sense! He's trying to get me to confess that I'm into him."
Like an evil mastermind creating a metaphorical trap of love.
"Hah, nice try Fabio! I ain't gonna crack that easily!"
—
After the duo shuffled out of the bathroom, they proceeded to Velma's domain.
Her room was a cluttered wreck. Filled to the brim with assortments of items organized in no particular location. Academic achievement awards she won back in middle school. Flutes she never gave back to the rental shop. Textbooks guidebooks. All her clothes, Piles, and piles of mystery novel manuscripts.
And mixed in with the bunch was her personal collection. Monster masks and various costume pieces, photos, and props her mom used to promote her mystery books.
She hadn't cleaned her room since her mom left. Okay, Scratch that. She never cleaned her room.
There was a sense of peace, a cozy feeling knowing that when she left her home ground it would stay the same tornado-ridden train wreck when she got back.
And the whole thing added to the bargain bin store ravaged the day after Halloween aesthetic.
Jordan Peterson can eat his heart out.
"Woah, I've never seen this side of the house from the inside. You poor people must be crazy good at Jenga," Fred commented. "You stack so many things on the small spaces in your walls."
Velma grabbed his sleeve as he was about to knock an old divers helmet onto the other shelves like a bowling ball. Before he could ruin anything else, she attempted to escort Golden Boy out the door. He wouldn't budge. He said there was something he had to take care of and walked in the other direction.
In the corner, Fred began muttering something by projecting his voice into his wrist.
"Chhh. First operation Complete. Now that I have assimilated myself into the house's environment we can now commence to next operation. Chh." Fred cracked his knuckles and wriggled his fingers then plunged his hands downwards.
zip*
That noise.
The unholy noise.
She turned away from him faster than the speed of light and shut her eyes.
"What is he-?"
She heard the sound of the belt buckle sliding off and hitting the floor.
"Oh god, this is really happening."
"Freddie. This isn't the time or place. I-I told you, I-I don't want to do anything like that..with you… I'm-I'm warning you! I am a lesbian. With an exception to Norvilles."
clunk* *ting* *bang*
Metal?
His balls couldn't be made of titanium, could they?
Her own downwards were tingling.
She held her breath and clenched her skirt.
"I thought Daphne said he was too much of pussy for this kind of thing…well…I did hear he did 'something' to those girls in the Crystal mines. I should get Mom or the cops or-"
"What are you waiting for? You didn't get the main course last time."
Her voice told her.
"This could be better than the pictures"
"But you just told yourself no."
"Quick. This could be another once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Don't waste it." the voice said.
Step by step she twirled back around. Her eyelids were being slowly forced open by her rogue eyeballs. What they witnessed left Velma in shock.
He never took them off.
Instead, Fred with a wide-eyed expression dug into the front of his pants to scoop out an array of trinkets and dumped them all onto the floor. A small flashlight, an EMF gauge, copper rods, markers, a map of Crystal Cove, walky-talkys-
They just kept coming.
"Jinkies Fred! How much shit did you put in your pants!? You gonna pull out the Eiffel Tower next?!"
"This is only a fraction of my trayzures. I had to hide them in a place that no one suspects." he picked up the small flashlight from the floor and shifted his eyes. "That way I can take the element of surprise to them."
"Who?"
Velma was horribly confused.
"The Ghosts. I was going to ghost spot check your house."
"Ghost spot check my house? That sounds like a dumb online trend that gets people killed."
"It's the real reason I'm here. You see, I kinda lied," he rubbed his arm sheepishly. "I've been sleeping in the back of the van and going door to door all over Crystal Cove asking homeowners if they need any ghost exterminating for them. Your house was next. Sorry about the entrance, but I couldn't tell the person who's been banned from every supernatural conspiracy website what I was up to until the time was right." He then went to pull one of them up on his phone.
"*Hiss*ckkk!" She spat. The mere image activated her fight-or-flight instinct.
"Take that thing away from me. Those websites are full of the most smooth-brained takes my eyes have ever witnessed. It's pure intellectual poison. My mind would feel saner over at an Alex Jones subreddit."
She wanted to shoot her past self for ever contributing to those toxic cesspools.
"So wait, does that mean you didn't hit my mailbox?"
"Hah, no. I hit everyone on the block. Yeah, turns out vans are way bigger than golf carts. Although, they are way less terrifying than piloting a private jet. Like I'm sorry Father I didn't stop 9/11!" he pouted.
"Uh-huh…" Velma took out a periscope from her old scuba kit back when she hooked on the show River Monster and put it up to her peephole. She drilled near her bed for emergency purposes. And sure enough, he was right. A whole row of banged-up, mangled-up sticks of wood and beheaded tins of metal, some with black tire marks on them, were littered across the street. She also saw that there were lines of the tire's skid marks placed on her front lawn.
"Hey, What's that goop all over Pedomobile?"
"It's the name for my side hustle. A private 'currently' nonprofit business created by yours truly. I was inspired by the likes of Dr. Edna Purdue and her attacks across the city. That of which showed us how truly dangerous our deceased brethren truly are."
He took a deep breath.
"For you see Velma, by day and by night, I am Fred Jones. And also by day and by night I am also Fred Jones. Spooky Stuff Hunter! Wasssshhahhh." he said while making a dramatic pose doing the splits crossing against his face and doing jazz hands.
"Fred this is Crazy!"
"I know right? It's insane. How can people not see that their houses are totally haunted? Like who do they think takes their socks or makes those mysterious IRS calls at night?"
"No, I mean you. Gahh," she pulled at the skin under her eyes. "Look Fred, I like urban legends as much as the next guy, but that's what they are, Led-Gends."
"Or…. Are….They?" He shone the flashlight on his face and clicked the on and off buttons super fast to create a flickering effect."
"yess…"
"Relax, this won't take long. It's like what the 76ers always say. Trust the Process. And my strategy is foolproof. Wanna hear it? It's
F-ind (the suspecting ghost)
R-each (the suspecting ghost)
E-radicate (the suspecting ghost)
D-on't
D-ie
Or the F.R.E.D.D. system as I like to call it. Time to watch the magic, Muffintop," he bopped her nose and gathered his things.
His first 'expert' move in 'ghost hunting' was to turn on the EMF gauge to detect signals in her room. Most of which were electrical outlets he stuck his fingers in. Another came from an LED display on one of her trophies. He picked it up and proceeded to smoosh his face against it and sniff it. He then used the copper rods as drumsticks to listen to the metal ringing.
Once he gave up on the tools, he then resorted to interrogation tactics. He lined up several of the objects to ask them questions. Since they gave him no response, he proclaimed out loud to each one of them that they were 'ghost free'.
It was quite the spectacle to behold.
"Alright, good news, electricity ghosts are a clear. Now to move on to investigating monsters under the bed." He put his back on an Alcatraz-themed skateboard and scooted himself underneath the bed frame. Flashlight in mouth.
The dark space like everything else in the room was completely cluttered. When Fred got stuck halfway, he signaled Velma to push him in further. She rolled her eyes and complied.
"This is ridiculous. How would you even catch a ghost?"
"Ughh. I'll figure it out once I get there. Now shhh *bonk* Oww!" The wheels rolled too far. The boy bumped his head on the baseboards located on the other side of the bed. This caused several books hanging on her cover sheets to fall on top of him. Including one that landed right on his face.
He picked it up. On the front cover, there were several nude pictures of both men and women. Fred flipped through the pages and gave her a devilish smirk.
"Oh, Hoho Velma, I didn't know you were into this kind of thing."
"That's an anatomy textbook, you perv!"
"Hahahahh Appendicitis," he moaned. He took out his phone and flashed a picture of the diagrams. "Aaanddd screenshot, save for later."
"Are you done?"
"Not yet. To the other side!" There was an audible 'weeee' as the toe-head pushed himself back under. Velma went to lie face down on her mattress.
All this reminded her of some stories Daphne told her about her ex-boyfriend. How he would have these outlandish hobbies and constantly drop them. His dad worked hard to get Fred to join all sorts of manly activities and clubs from sports, shooting, jousting, gambling, street racing,…and the circus for some reason….
However, nothing stuck.
Not even the holy redeeming light of the "Feminine Mystique."
His male feminist phase only lasted about a week. This might be another one of those.
Best to let it pass.
On the other hand.
She could play along with his little delusion.
Velma rarely passed up the chance to prove someone else wrong.
And this was a field that she had advanced knowledge in…
Hmmm….
"Hehehehehe."
She rubbed her hands with glee.
"This could be fun."
After Fred was done with his 'under the bed' protocol, Velma decided to make her move. She ripped out pieces of paper from her old diary under her pillow and threw the wads at the ceiling.
"Ahh ooh noo, I think I saw something go over theeerree."
"Where?" He did three somersaults on the carpet and scanned the room. He shined the flashlight in her eyes. "psstttt, Velma. You better get down! They can smell fear and piss." he whispered.
"Oh, I never said it was a ghost. Aaallthouughh that thing I saw crawling up the walls and flying did look particularly human-shaped."
He nodded and added a few extra summersaults and checked the curtain on her side window. The EMF detector didn't go off and neither did his special ghost-detecting sense. He looked puzzled by the lack of results.
There was a crumbling noise underneath his shoe. "White ghost flesh?" he pulled a white piece of paper off the back side of his sneakers. "No, it's a message 'Velma Dinkley Jones' Haaahh," he gasped. "It's spying on us. Could it be her!? Do you know any other dead people, Velma?"
"You know I said I don't believe in the afterlife. And if I did, the brain-switching mad scientist wouldn't be the one I'd be afraid of."
"Wha-wha whaduyu mean?"
"Tell me, Jones, Have you ever heard of- The Great Doctor who had the power to raise folks from the dead?"
He gave a quiet chuckle. "No hehe. But why would I be scared of that? Sounds awesome! I would pay that person a billion bajillion bucks to see them bring someone back!"
"ah yes…Most would agree with you. Unfortunately, that of which you speak is what led him to his ultimate demise. Allow me to shed some light on this subject."
She flicked the lights off. Leaving the two of them alone in the dark room.
"Like Dr. Edna Purdue, this doctor was quite astute in the realm of neurology. You could even say they were in the same 'class'. He used to work at our own Crystal Cove Asylum before transferring to a Canadian mental hospital.
There he performed the most amazing feats anyone had ever seen. Within 24hrs he was able surgically resurrect a union worker whose head had gotten crushed by a steamroller and two giant metal beams near a demolition site.
"wow," Fred whispered.
Wow Indeed. Once the word got out, the medical community flocked to him like flies to honey. They gave him the worst diagnosed cases imaginable. You name it, comas, vegetables. Anybody with significant amounts of brain damage and grim reapers knocking at their front door. His recovery methods were nothing short of biblical. For a short time was given the title the "Miracle Doctor." by the public.
Patients that had been bedridden for years woke up cured. They could now return to their normal lives. And to everyone they knew, it was as if they had gotten back their old friends and family.
However,...it didn't last. A few months passed and things began to take a turn for the worse.
Velma flicked another switch. A souvenir fog machine from Fog Fest began to spew green smog throughout the room.
The 'recovered' patients still may have walked around, smiled, and behaved as normally as you or I. But something was off...
The changes were subtle at first.
Their skin started to become pale, too pale. Hair began to fall out. Large chunks of skin flaked off. They became unusually bloated in several areas to the point of subcutaneous fat leaked out of several orifices. Eye sockets sunk into the back of their skull. Ears slid down their heads.
Many had to schedule a second consultation, to discuss these unfortunate side effects. And once the appointment was set, none of them ever came back.
So an investigation was set out for the disappearances. This lead them all to a giant morgue near the hospital.
Inside, on the beds, were hundreds of dead bodies all lined up in rows that all resembled the missing people.
The question on the back of everyone's heads now was
What was the leading cause of death?
Was it malpractice?
or was it murder?
There were no obvious signs of excessive bleeding or any infection, or toxins in the bloodstream.
The only real clues they had came from the autopsies. When they opened them up they saw that their lungs had shrunk. All the food they ate was undigested. They piled on top of one another and caused holes to burst from their stomach to the esophagus. It seemed that most of their organs had decayed faster than their skin.
And the most disturbing part of all.
There were letters carved out all over their insides.
"...!"
You see it was part of an ancient code. One used to communicate with a demonic goblin god.
So, from that the investigators deduced that the doctor had lobotomized each of his patients upon arrival by injecting them with a potent neurotoxin. Then he'd use his ties to this demonic creature to cast a ritual to make the bodies move again.
The people. They were never cured but, in fact, walking corpses that had convinced themselves they were alive.
"Like a zombie?"
"Like a zombie
And you know what his favorite victims were?
Rich guys!"
Fred gasped. "NO!"
"Yess! Because you see being in one of the most highly paid professions wasn't enough for him. The man thrived off of greed. Do you know what also thrives off of greed? The American healthcare system and literal hellspawn.
The wealthy families were much more willing to offer him a pretty penny for saving their precious loved ones. The funny thing is, a lot of the rich kids don't even know they've been under the operation.
Fred's face was now pouring with sweat. And his restricted breathing sounded like wind passing through a straw.
He kept touching his face and glancing at his reflection through the black screen of his phone.
"what-what...hhh-hh-happened to the evil magic doctor person?"
Oh, our little friend? He knew the jig was up. The doctor was last seen praying to the demonic entity with one final request in mind. His plan. Turning all the remaining dead bodies into gold so he could escape the country with loaded pockets.
Alas, He never finished the incantation. By the time he set up the summoning circle and all the items for the ritual, the police had already reached his hideout. He was trapped and surrounded on all sides. There was a struggle that went on all night for the force to break inside to put the man to justice once and for all.
In the morning ...they got their wish.
He was found dead on the floor. Sticking out the front end of his skull, the same needle he used on all his patients…
Days later his body was taken away by the police force and buried in a local cemetery.
But even in death…that wouldn't be the last anyone saw of the 'Miracle Doctor'
Or should I call him by his new name
Dr. Coffin!"
cracckkk* *thunder*
Lightning struck outside the house.
Convenient. She was about to put on her ominous storm playlist next, but it seemed that the outside was doing her job for her.
Anyways, not too long ago people reported sightings of Dr. Coffin on Crystal Cove's eastern cliffs by the site of his first operations.
What they saw was described only as inhuman. A bald, green-skinned goblin-like creature with a ragged white uniform danced and cackled with the lights and thunderous roars of the sky. Like Hades and Cerberus from the underworld, he was surrounded by three snarling monstrous guard dogs keen to the scent of rotting flesh.
Woof* *Arf*Arf* *Awoooo*
Velma turned on Top 20 dogs howling at the Moon to give my cat a mental breakdown playlist on her phone.
That's right, The undead physician was back.
With one simple goal.
To reclaim his victims so that he may finish the incantation and feed his covetous SOUL!
MWAHAHAHAA. Haaaahh-mmmpfhhh."
...
The bedroom was now pitch black. The rain pounded on the roof and walls of the house.
"velma...VELMA?"
The way her voice had trailed off, it sounded as if something had taken her. He took out the flashlight from his pocket and circled the room.
Crreeeeeaakkk*
The closet door shut behind him.
He turned around and inched towards it. Slowly. The flashlight in his hand shaking as was he. Fred took his other hand and placed it up to the door knob. The touch of the ancient rusty knob made his skin curl.
The knob then began to turn on its own. The door pushed itself forward. Or was it ...the thing inside?
Whatever had attacked was now standing right in front of him. Fred's face filled with dread as his gaze crept upwards. From the bottom to top, there were old worn-out boots with fungus-filled toes sprouting out. Up to the midsection a raggedy hospital gown, sickly green skin hands with long blood-stained fingernails. The very top, sharp pointy ears, a menacing toothy smile, and two glowing yellow eyes.
"BlearruughhHHH!" it roared.
Out from Fred's breath, came a sound-barrier-breaking screech that nearly shattered its eardrums. The blond fell back crashing into a box of dirty old clothes. He tried tossing and turning, but the more he struggled the further he sunk into the wooly multicolored quicksand.
Feeling so utterly and completely helpless he wrapped his arms around his cranium and trembled before the monster.
The thing began snorting in a fit of laughter. Its head jiggled violently.
"Pfffttt HAHAHA. That was too easy."
Dr. Coffin pulled off the mask to reveal the one and only glasses-wearing spook fanatic.
The boy was too dumbfounded to react.
"You like it? It's a piece I've been working on. People like you are so predictable. You fall for all the horror cliches. All the horror cliches I've memorized by heart. I even made my own tv tropes page about it. Including one's outside mainstream media that despite the patterns not showing up as often are still equally valid. Ha, I knew all this would pay off someday."
She wiped an invisible tear from her eye. Velma was proud of herself. Sure, she may have added one too many extra twists to the real-life story of the North American gold smuggling scandal,
But it's the audience's reaction that counts. Not inaccuracies and plotholes.
In an alternate future where editors were easy to come by and artistry itself wasn't being threatened by artificial intelligence, Velma could see herself becoming a writer.
Meanwhile, Fred 'ken doll' Jones's face was all scrunched up as if he had just eaten a mountain of sour balls.
He grumbled and cocked his head sideways, "Mmmmrmmm, you wouldn't be laughing if this had been a real attack."
Fred picked himself off the ground and brushed off the used shirts and skirts. The amateur ghost hunter took one more general scan over the room.
"I guess that's about it. Only one more place left to take a closer look."
The boy followed a straight path to the window sill and traced the trajectory from the window to the closet. He walked backwards through the door and trekked passed a jungle of hanging sweaters. He stopped when he heard a small clank near the tips of his shoe.
There in the bottom corner.
Lay a small metal safe.
"No way, he can't mean. I mean there's no way he's gonna-"
….*click*….
"Wooohooo yes! I didn't think that trick would work. Guess, Creepy Carlswell from county jail was right. Opening up saves is less stressful than opening up a jar of multivitamins."
The amusement disappeared from Velma's face. He was starting to get annoying again. She ran in front of the safe and spread her arms to keep him from entering.
"Ok, it was fun playing your shitty little role-play game, but we get back to reality please?"
Fred puffed up his chest and cleared his throat in an attempt to make it sound deeper. "Ahem. Step aside, Miss. Duty calls."
"Yeah, you see you're not allowed to touch that."
"I'll only look at it for a second." He pushed Velma aside.
"Touch It. And You DIE! I'm literally not joking!"
He turned around.
In his hands was a small box with bits of dirt and pieces of trash contrasted by a shiny red ribbon and white wrapping paper.
The Christmas gift her mom had given her the night she disappeared.
Authors Note: I decided to split this into two parts for my own sanity. The other half is coming soon. I mostly just need to edit a few parts.
Thanks for sticking around.