"What are you doing here? Was I not clear enough with refusing your calls?!"
"This wouldn't have been necessary if you'd only picked up the phone once."
"What is so important that you had to come here?"
"You forgot something the other day." He opens a compartment in his wallet and takes out a white tablet. My contraceptive pill. "I found it under the toaster."
"How is that possible? It fits exactly with the end of this pill strip. I can't remember when I forgot one." I run my hands through my hair desperately.
"Maybe you thought you had taken it. How many more do you have to take for this month?"
"Three more."
"Test after your pause week, but don't start a new strip yet."
"Okay, I can do that."
"Then I'll leave you alone now." He walks back to his car.
"Andy..?" His name comes out of my mouth softer than I wanted. He turns around and looks at me. "Why did you lead me on?"
"I didn't mean to."
"Something like that doesn't happen by accident!" Tears well up in my eyes and I bite the inside of my bottom lip to hold them back.
"Maya, you were more than just my submissive." He takes a few steps towards me. "I didn't expect to get feelings for you." My heart skips a few beats and I don't know how to respond to his confession. "I tried to ignore them, but I couldn't anymore."
I sigh deeply and think about my words. "I want to be the only one for you. But I know that's not possible because I'm new to the BDSM world and can't fulfil your needs. Also, I don't feel comfortable stepping so far out of my comfort zone right away. I'll probably only make you unhappy." Without waiting for his response, I close the front door and the held back tears stream down my cheeks. I drop onto my bed and give in to all the emotions I've been pushing away over the past few days.
Here we go. I press the doorbell and soon hear footsteps coming down the hall.
"I am only here to test. It's closer to the centre and my bladder is about to explode." I let Andy know before he can say anything. He lets me in and I rush to the bathroom. It's been ten days since he showed up at my place. We haven't had any contact since. I sigh with relief when I can finally pee. This morning I had gone straight to the shopping centre to buy a pregnancy test. There is a good chance that I am pregnant because I have not had my period yet, which should have started three days ago. Maybe it's because of the stress of just the idea that I can be pregnant. I'm anything but excited about it. The strip is soaked and I put the test on the sink with the cap on. After emptying the rest of my bladder, I wash my hands. Out of the corner of my eye I see the test result. Two lines. A positive test. I am pregnant. "Fuck.." I drop to the floor with my back against the wall and stare at the faint lines of the stick in my hand. It's great to be pregnant from someone I've known for less than two months! It's my own stupid fault. I shouldn't have forgotten to take my birth control pills. How did I overlook that? And when? Was it the first week of the previous strip, or a later week? Or was it even the strip before that? I really don't know.
"And?" Andy sits down next to me on the floor, turning the pregnancy test towards him so he can see the result. I get up and break the test in half, throw it in the trash bin in the toilet.
"I'll take care of it, don't worry." I know him well enough now to know he worries about things he doesn't have control over. My hand is on the door handle of the front door when he stops me by grabbing my wrist.
"Don't you want to have the baby?" Andy looks at me hopefully. I can't believe his words.
"No." I free myself from his grip and go home.
I check again if I have everything with me. Keys, phone, wallet. Yes, I have everything with me. I open the front door and see an all too familiar man. With a deep sigh I close the front door behind me and walk past him to my car. He grabs my wrist. Of course, he won't let me go like that.
"Maya, please listen to me."
"I have an appointment." I pull my wrist away and keep on walking to my car.
"Maya.. I only want you and want you to set the pace." Andy is a go-getter, that is for sure. I stop walking, but stay quiet, with my back towards him. "Until you're ready we won't do those things. You are more important to me than my needs. And I want to do everything with you at your pace." His voice comes closer and I have to bite my lip to keep myself from getting emotional. "Even if it takes years, or even if you never want it. I don't care as long as you're with me." I can't hold it anymore. My shoulders shake and I let go of my tears. His strong hands are on my upper arms and slide down my back to my hips. "Please give me a second chance. I want nothing more."
"Really no more other women?" I turn around and look at him, piercing his eyes. If he wants me I want to be the only one for him.
"Only you, no one else." He assures me.
"I can't give a definitive answer yet. I have something else on my mind for now." I want to wait for my doctor's appointment to be done before I give myself to him again or not.
"Wait with it for a while. I'd love to have a baby."
"Andy, we've known each other for such a short time and the way things have been going for the past few months, things haven't been going well between us."
"It hasn't indeed." He sighs disappointed. "As long as you know that from now on I'm hundred percent yours." His words make me blush and I kiss him fleetingly.
"I'll think about it. But I really have to go now." I place another kiss on his lips and head for my car after he lets go of me.
I don't understand why Andy wants to have a baby already. We've had a relationship that was only about sex for a month and a half and we broke up just over two weeks ago. What are the chances of it working out if we try again? It might go the same way and I will be stuck with his baby a few months from now. I expect him to want to help, but I don't want that kind of life. I want a good relationship that I'm hundred percent behind before there are children on the way. Andy is a really nice guy and great between the sheets, but if that's all there is to it, we'll never get anywhere.
"Maya?" The doctor startles me.
"Sorry, my mind was somewhere else." I get up and walk with the woman to her examination room.
"What can I help you with?" She asks when I take place across from her desk.
"I'm pregnant and I wanted to have an overdue treatment, but now I'm in doubt."
"Why did you want to have an overdue treatment?" The doctor takes out a pen and note block.
"I've only known the father for two months and we only had a relationship for sex. We broke up a few weeks ago. Sometime during the period we were together I forgot to take the pill." I sigh and watch her take notes. "He wants me to give us a second chance. I want to on one hand, but I'm also scared that nothing will change and we'll have this baby later."
"I want you to take another pregnancy test and then we'll discuss the options that are available."
"Okay."
"I'll just go and get some things. I'll be right back." She walks out of the room and I look around. There is a picture on the wall showing the stages of pregnancy and the growth of a baby. I walk over and look at the pictures. Week four: Your baby is the size of a poppy seed. Many women already suffer from the ailments associated with pregnancy. In early pregnancy, your body is completely turned upside down. The hormones can make you feel angry or sad for no apparent reason. Would that make me angry with Andy for everything? And cry over everything he says?
"Sorry I was gone for so long. It took a little longer than I hoped." The woman has a device in her hand and puts it on the table. I sit back on the chair and look at her. "I'm going to take a little blood with a finger prick to see how long you are pregnant." I put my hand in front of her and she puts a small needle against the tip of my ring finger. With a click the needle shoots a tiny bit into my finger and she applies pressure around the pricked area to get a few drops of blood. "That was that." She says after putting a small band aid on the spot. She slides the small piece of paper with my blood into the machine and turns it on. It beeps a few times and she reads the display. "A good HcG value, the pregnancy hormone, for a pregnancy of four weeks and three days." The doctor turns the device off and puts it to the side of the desk. "Now about the options that are available." She makes a few more notes on the paper. "Since you have doubts, I think it would be best if you wait a little longer and think about what you want."
"Yes, that might be smart." I made the decision hastily.
"I don't want to talk you out of it, but it would be awful if you were to regret it afterwards. You have one week and six days left for an overdue treatment. If you haven't made up your mind by then, there are slightly more drastic options. Such as a miscarriage pill, a suction curettage and, after fourteen weeks an instrumental abortion.
"Up to how far into the pregnancy can something like that be done?"
"Up to twenty-four weeks."
"That is a long time. I hope to have made a decision before then." Maybe I'll just keep the baby if I haven't decided when I'm three months pregnant.
"What I mean by that is that there are more options if you can't make the choice so quickly. You shouldn't rush it. Also talk to the father about it. You told me that he would like a new chance for you. You can always come back to me, even if it's just to talk. I'm here for that too." She smiles to me.
"Thank you." I say as she walks me out of the examination room. I go on my way home.
At Andy's house I ring the doorbell and sit on the step in front of the door waiting for him to open the door.
"And?" He asks tense as he opens the door.
I stand up and pat the sand off my butt. "The way it looks now, we're going to have a baby."
"You didn't do the treatment?" He looks at me with relief.
"No, you left me very doubtful this morning and I couldn't make the choice."
"Thank god." Andy takes my face in his hands and kisses me enthusiastically. A colony of butterflies storm through my stomach and I realise that this is what I want.
"I'd like to give us a second chance." I press my lips roughly to his and he lifts me up. In his bedroom he lays me on the bed and within seconds our clothes fly through the air. For the first time we have sex that is not just about lust, but about love. I collapse onto him, exhausted, and he wraps his arms around me.
"This was the best fuck we've had so far. Wow." Andy plays with my hair and I kiss him with a smile. My stomach growls and I feel that I'm craving for food. "Are you staying the night?"
"Do you want me to stay?" I get off him and pull on my panties and his shirt.
"If it's up to me you'll stay forever." After a brief kiss he finds a new shirt from his closet and puts on his clothes. "What do you want to eat?"
"I'm really in the mood for pancakes."
"That's something different for once. You'll have to check that I have everything needed. Otherwise we'll go to the store." We both rummage through his cupboards and I find everything that's needed for pancakes. I prepare the mix and feel the man's eyes burning into my back.
"Are you enjoying yourself?" I pour some of the mix into the hot skillet.
"Your fine ass always amuses me. And my clothes look so good on you."
"I can hear you drooling." I look over and see him getting up from the barstool. Not much later he spanks my ass.
"I want you for dessert after." His lips suck into my neck and make goose bumps appear all over my body.
"Andy?"
"Yes, honey?"
"Come and have a look." I stand in front of the mirror in his bedroom and look at my belly. The man comes up behind me and slides his hands over my showing belly. My 14-week-old baby belly fits perfectly into his hands.
"You're so stunning." Andy kisses my shoulder.
"I want to tell our parents." I've thought about it a lot and because things have been going really well between us for the past ten weeks, I've finally been able to decide.
"Does that mean we're going to keep our baby?" He looks at me through the mirror.
"Yes, we're keeping our baby." I turn around and kiss him passionately. Far too soon he lets go of me.
"Marry me." He blurts out. My heart races to my throat and my body heats up. Is he really serious? It can't be this fast, can it? This has to be a joke! I look at him and stay quiet to figure out if he's serious. Andy doesn't say anything either and we stare into each other's eyes for a while. Butterflies fly wildly through my stomach the whole time. After a minute, I give in to him and smile.
"I want nothing more." I put my head against his shoulder and we stay like that while my heart is pounding like crazy in my chest.
"I love you, sweetheart." Andy lifts my chin and makes me look into his eyes.
"I love you too." It gives me jitters to say this to him for the first time. Everything suddenly becomes so real between us.
"Wanna invite our parents over for dinner tonight?"
"Yes, go ahead. Then I'll think about what we're going to eat."
"Don't make it too difficult." He takes out his phone and calls our parents. It is a good thing that we have already visited each other's parents several times. Otherwise it would be strange if he invited my parents out of the blue. "Seven o'clock. Yes, see you tonight." He joins me on the sofa. "So, that's settled. What's on the menu?"
"A simple old-fashioned potato, vegetable and meat dinner?"
"Sounds good. But we'll have to check that your piece of meat is well done." What a cutie is he when he is worried about me and our baby. "It's time to go to the grocery store."
We've just done our grocery shopping and are checking out the clothes shop in the street where we parked the car. My shirts are too short and tight now that my belly has grown so much.
"Oh, look at this!" My eye catches some bodysuits with My grandparents are the best! as text on the front. "Would that be a nice announcement?"
"Yeah, that's more fun than just telling them." Andy smiles as he looks at the baby clothes. "We should start shopping for baby stuff soon. Before you know it the next six months will have flown by."
"Right, the last few months have gone by fast. I'll go and look up what we should have." I pick up two rompers, one for my parents and one for Andy's parents. For myself I look in the maternity section. There are a couple of nice shirts that I take to a fitting room. "What do you think of these?" I ask when I'm wearing the first shirt. Andy peeks behind the curtain.
"Wow, it's really visible like that." He stares at my belly with a big, proud smile on his face and he can't help himself and places his hands on my sides.
"I'm going to hide it tonight until we tell our parents. Otherwise it won't be a surprise anymore." I try on a few more shirts, dresses and trousers from which Andy says I should take them all. We leave the store with a bunch of new clothes for me and the two rompers for our parents. At Andy's house, I fold them with the text facing inwards and put them in a flat, square box. "Do you think they'll like it?"
"That we're having a baby? Sure. What parents don't like that for their kids?" Andy tries to reassure me.
"You're right. I shouldn't worry so much."
"Indeed. It'll be all right, sweetheart." He kisses me and puts a couple of pans on the stove. We can already prepare a few things for tonight.
"It smells delicious in here already." Andy's mom gives me three kisses on my cheeks and hangs her coat on the coat rack in the hallway. "How nice of you to invite us over."
"Hi honey, how are you?" Mom kisses me and pulls me into a firm embrace.
"Very well."
"It shows. You look healthy." She wants to say something else, but my name is called.
"Maya, can you help?" Andy needs me in the kitchen and I go to him. "How is this?" He shows me the piece of meat that's for me. It's cooked a bit further than the others.
"Yes, looks good." I kiss him and turn around to go back to the guests. Seeing my mother in the kitchen doorway startles me.
"I'll help you with the drinks." She grabs the tray of wine glasses and takes them to the dining area.
"For a moment I thought she'd already knew I was pregnant." I look down at my belly to check if it's not too obvious in this shirt. "Is it really not showing?"
"No, dear. Don't worry. It will be a nice surprise." Andy pulls me in a tight hug, with his hands on my ass.
"Okay." I sigh and take three bottles of wine from the fridge to the dining table. White, red and rosé wine. "Can I pour someone a glass of wine?"
"Isn't there a glass for you, dear?" Andy's mother runs her eyes across the table.
"No, I'm not a wine lover." Quickly I walk back to the kitchen so I don't give myself away.
"Calm down, honey. They really don't know anything." Andy wraps the pieces of meat in aluminium foil so they stay warm and cook a little more.
"I hope so." I put two wine coolers on the wide cupboard, which comes to stomach height with me, and put the white and rosé wine in them. Red wine is drunk at room temperature. The men get a beer from the fridge and then everyone sits down at the table. They chat and every now and then I or Andy watch the food. I help him bring everything to the dining table when it's ready.
"That looks delicious, dear." Mom smiles contentedly. Everyone scoops up and we all eat. Glasses are filled where necessary.
"Are you ready?" Andy looks at me excitedly.
"Yes, finally!" We're going to tell our parents! I grab the boxes and take them to the living room. Everyone has taken a seat on the sofa and chairs.
"We invited you not just for dinner tonight. We have a little surprise." The man gives the packages to his parents and to my parents. At the same time, they unfold the rompers and read the print.
"Are you pregnant?"
"You are expecting a baby?" Both mothers shout enthusiastically. "How long have you been pregnant?"
"Fourteen weeks."
"Why haven't you told us before?"
"Because.." I search for the right words.
"We weren't sure if we were ready. It happened really fast." Andy explains.
"The first time is always very exciting." His mother puts her hand on mine.
"Yeah, tell me about it." Smiling I look at Andy.
"The thought that you could be pregnant crossed my mind earlier tonight." Mom kisses my forehead. "I think it's great for the both of you. Enjoy it."
"I thought you had it figured out when you walked into the kitchen."
"That's what I'm your mother for." After another kiss she lets Andy's mother talk to me. She also congratulates me on the pregnancy.
"Our first grandchild. This is very exciting for us too." His mother is already proud. "Have you had an ultrasound yet?"
"No, I haven't."
"Why haven't you made an appointment?"
"The pregnancy wasn't planned and it was a big shock to me when I found out." I don't want to tell her that we were separated at the time. Fortunately, I don't have to explain anymore because my father calls attention to himself by tapping his wine glass with a pen.
"Twenty-six years ago, I became father of my second daughter. My third child, Maya. I was a very proud father and can remember all the steps in her development from baby to child and from teenager to adult." Dad takes my hand and comes to stand beside me.
"Once in life there is a moment when you can give your daughter to another man. Today is that day for me. I hereby proudly hand Maya over to the new man in her life." My father puts my hand in Andy's. "Take good care of my daughter."
"Naturally." The man holding my hand presses his lips against mine and our parents applaud us. With tomato red cheeks, I detach myself from him. I see a mysterious smile on his face.
"What is it?"
"I have a surprise for you. Meet me at the pond in a minute." Andy is gone before I can react.
"Dad, do you know any more about this?" I look at him for answers.
"I don't know anything."
"What is he up to?" Nerves overwhelm me. When a little more than a minute has passed I go to the scullery. I open the door and go outside. All the garden lights are off and don't come on with movement either. Suddenly, the little lights on the floor lit up. Battery-powered candles! They make a path to the pond. What is this? I nervously follow the path of lights and arrive at the wooden plateau at the edge of the pond. The fake candles are floating in the water, too. Andy isn't there, but our parents are standing outside the scullery watching. The wood behind me creaks and I turn around. Andy! He's changed into a neat suit. What's the meaning of this?
He clears his throat. "We've only known each other a short time and having a baby wasn't exactly the plan. But now I know that I want you to be mine forever."
"Only if you're mine forever."
"Maya.." Andy kneels down in front of me, on one knee, and holds up a small box. Oh my god! This isn't happening! He opens the box and a beautiful ring is visible. "I want to be yours for the rest of my life. Will you marry me?"
"Yes!" There is no doubt about that answer and he knew it from this morning. I wipe away a few emerging tears. Andy kisses me lovingly and after releasing my lips he slides the ring on my finger. "This is the suit you were wearing when we first met." The discovery makes me cry even more. I love that he is wearing it now, on this special moment. "Did you already have the ring?"
"It didn't come out of nowhere this morning. I bought it a few weeks ago, but couldn't find the right moment. Your father unintentionally created the perfect moment for me to propose to you."
"You're crazy."
"Crazy about you." He kisses me roughly. "I love you."
"I love you too."