Time passed by like a roller coaster. When Sam noticed she had a heavyweight in her belly and she was 20 weeks pregnant. The baby was definitely getting bigger, but apparently there was still plenty of growing room in there, because he or she liked to twist and turn. And Sam did feel the acrobatics! Jack was dead curious about whether her melon-sized belly had a boy or a girl inside so she had already booked another appointment with Dr. Weaver.
Now that Sam as at the midpoint of her pregnancy, her 20 weeks' pregnant belly was really taking shape as a baby bump. Her appetite was pretty hearty, and she had popped enough that people knew she was pregnant. Sam had finally to surrender and starting to wear maternity uniforms. The maternity ABUs had a stretchy panel in the pants and a roomy top but they still made Sam feel too self-consciously.
Plus, she had starting to feel baby kicking, so it was all becoming more real! And Sam was getting more terrified and prone to panic attacks. That she had dealt all by herself so far. She was a Colonel in the USAF after all! Who had killed systems lords and blew up a sun. She could deal with a growing baby in her belly, she kept telling herself.
To add all the wonders of pregnancy she had now occasional headaches, leg cramps and to her utter embarrassment she had fainted in her lab at the Pentagon. Jack had been furious when he heard about it later and hadn't been called simply because she hadn't listed him as his emergency person of contact.
That night at home they had their first serious argument.
"What the fuck, Sam! You fainted!", he said pacing in their living room.
She was currently seated in the couch, feeling too big to move.
"I know, Jack. But I just felt dizzy and blacked out. It's normal", she said.
He stopped pacing and looked at her. "Normal?! So why the fuck I had to know you fainted through a hallway corridor talk between two secretaries that were gossiping about a single Colonel that is pregnant?! Care to tell me about that?!", he asked his eyes dark with fury.
Sam sighed.
"I can't control the hallway gossip, Jack. And you know very well that nobody in the Pentagon knows that we're married", she pointed out.
"Well, maybe it's about time they fucking know", he said.
"Jack, we have our instructions", she warned him.
He waved in the air as dismissing her.
"Jack!", she said again.
"YOU FAINTED!", he yelled.
"I KNOW", she yelled back, putting a hand in her belly as she felt a sudden kick.
"I'm talking to the president tomorrow", he said starting to pace again.
She crossed her arms. "Fine. Do whatever you want", she simply said. The baby was restless and she really just wanted to go to bed. Maybe he stopped kicking her ribs.
Jack stopped again.
"Don't you want people knowing we're married? Is that your problem?", he asked slowly.
"Of course that's not my problem, Jack! I don't give a shit who knows that we're married", she said but didn't elaborate with what really was troubling her.
"So what's your problem?", he asked looking at her.
She had dark circles under eyes, looked exhausted and utterly miserable. How hadn't he noticed that before?
"I'm just tired, that's all", she lied without really lying. She was very tired.
Jack calmed down and sat on the couch next to her.
"You don't look good, Sam. What's the problem, honey?", he asked in a completely different tone.
"Besides looking like a watermelon?", she asked icily.
"You're pregnant. And you've an adorable pregnant belly", he said putting his large hand on it.
She closed her eyes. The baby stopped kicking. Apparently he liked his father's hands.
"I just need to sleep", she said after a while.
"You need to start reviewing your working hours", he said caressing her belly.
He had been nagging her about it but she didn't want to. She refused to stay home. She would go crazy.
"It's still too early for that", she just said.
"Let's see what Dr. Weaver thinks", Jack said moving his hand to her back.
She moaned. His hands were wonderful but since she got pregnant had achieved a new status of bliss to Sam's body.
"Come on, let's get you into bed. I'll give you a massage", he said picking both her hands and lifting her from the couch.
She didn't offer any resistance. Her eyes were already half closed anyway. Inside their bedroom, Jack carefully took her clothes and help her slide her arms into one of his old t-shirts. She got into the sheets while he went to the bathroom and quickly undress. She was lying in her side when he entered the bed.
"I know something is not right with you, Sam but you have to talk to me. I can't guess what's happening inside that genius brain of yours", he said moving closer to her and starting rubbing her back.
Sam grabbed her pillow tight and held her breath.
"I'm afraid, Jack", she admitted.
"Of what, honey?", he asked continuing to rub her lower back.
"Of not been able to do this. Of being a bad mother. Of failing…", she said letting the tears finally drop in the pillow.
Jack swallowed and put his arm around her growing belly, gently caressing it.
"First you're not doing any of this alone, Sam. I'm right here with you and I'm not going anywhere. We're doing this together. And you'll be an excellent mother", he said kissing her neck.
"How do you know?! I have zero experience with babies. I've read everything about them but I don't even know how to hold one. I'll just probably drop him the first time they handle him to me", she said bitterly.
Jack slowly turned her to him, seeing the tears in her eyes. He gently wiped them with his thumb.
"You won't drop him, honey. Mother's instinct", he said kissing her slowly on the lips.
"I think I don't have any", she said with a sad voice, grabbing his t-shirt.
He moved the hair that had fallen to her face when she turned.
"You're forgetting Cassie", he said with a smile.
"Cassie wasn't a baby", she said looking to their ceiling.
"No but you didn't abandon her in that silo nevertheless. And you merely knew her, Sam. I say you've very strong mother instincts, honey. Just let things flow. It will happen naturally", he said kissing her again.
"OK", she said kissing him back.
With great self-control he kissed her forehead and whispered "Sleep well". Then he closed the light and tried to calm his body. It had been a long time since they had sex. He was definitely going to talk about that with Dr. Weaver at tomorrow's appointment.
Sam and Jack arrive at the doctor's office for her second trimester exam. They were greeted by the usual receptionist and check in for their appointment. As they took a seat in the waiting area, Sam was nervous while Jack was excited about the possibility of finding out the sex of their baby.
After a few minutes, the nurse called their names and lead them to the examination room. The nurse took Sam's weight and blood pressure and asked her how she has been feeling since her last appointment. She told her that Dr. Weaver herself would take a blood sample to test for any potential complications. Sam nodded and told her symptoms.
Once the nurse finished her part of the exam, Dr. Weaver entered the room with a smile. She reviewed Sam's symptoms and performed a physical exam, checking Sam's uterus and the growth of the baby. Then, she offered Sam and Jack the option to find out the sex of their baby.
"Do you want to know?", Jack asked looking at her.
Sam was 50/50 on that so she just nodded. She knew he was really looking forward to find out.
"OK", she said looking at the doctor.
Dr. Weaver smiled again and performed an ultrasound, and they all watched as the baby appeared on the screen. Sam was a little shocked looking at the screen. Seeing her baby's face for the first time even if it's through a screen wasn't quite what she had expected. Olivia was pointing out different features of the baby and checking the baby's overall health.
Then, she announced, "It's a boy!"
Sam looked immediately at Jack a little concerned. She knew he was expecting a girl probably because of reminders of Charlie. He was very still looking at the screen, his eyes almost black.
Dr. Weaver sensing the tension in the room, looked discreetly at both of them.
"Is everything OK?", she asked.
"Yes, it's just the first time I've watched my baby in a screen", he said in a somewhat emotional voice.
Dr. Weaver looked at Sam who was looking very determined to her belly and avoiding her eyes.
"So General, this is not your first child?", she asked curious.
Jack cleared his throat. "No. But I wasn't present during the ultrasound. I was deployed abroad", he said looking at Sam who continued to look at her belly.
Dr. Weaver ended the exam and moved to her desk giving Sam time to clean herself and compose. Which she was doing very slowly and still avoiding Jack's eyes. After they were both seated in front of her desk she decided to move on with the appointment.
"So, Colonel Carter everything appears fine with your baby. I would advise you both to sign up for some prenatal classes if you haven't already done this already. I know you're very busy General but if you attend with your wife you'll know more about what you'll experience during labor and delivery, and how you can both prepare for the big day", she said smiling.
They both nodded but continued in silence. Something definitely was going on between those two.
"Also Colonel, a word of advice. Look after your back. Avoid lifting heavy objects and twisting as you lift. Backache and strain is common during pregnancy and it's easier to avoid a back injury than to recover from one. If you do have a sore back try warm baths or showers, massage, heat packs, and gentle stretching. There are specific exercises you can do to strengthen and support the muscle groups in your spine. I'm sure your husband can help you with that", she tried again.
This time Jack smiled and Sam blushed slightly.
"Any questions?", she asked looking at them.
"Yes, Dr. One quite simple actually", Jack said. "What about sex? Is it safe?", he asked with the most natural expression in his face.
Sam wished the Asgard were still alive and they could beam her aboard at that right moment.
Dr. Weaver just smiled.
"Perfectly normal question, General. Yes, sex is safe as long as both you and especially your wife is feeling comfortable. I usually suggest my patients some positions that are more easy during this stage of pregnancy, if you would like", she said.
"Yes please", was Jack immediate answer.
Sam just nodded, still wishing the Asgard hadn't committed mass suicide.
"So lying on your side is often the most comfortable, whether you're facing front-to-front or front-to-back. Pregnant partner on top is a position that doesn't put any pressure on Sam's belly. Missionary it's fine as long as you… – she looked at Jack – keep your weight off Sam by supporting yourself with your arms. And finally oral sex. Sometimes it's fun to relax and let your partner do all the work. I suggest Sam to try laying on her side or sitting in a comfy chair with her legs and move from there. Whatever feels good, go for it", she said with a big smile.
"Thanks doctor", Jack said also smiling.
Dr. Weaver looked at Sam. "Any doubts?"
"None", she said with a hint of a smile.
"OK, so I'll see you again in our next appointment but if anything feels wrong or you have any doubt you have my personal number. Just give me a call or leave me a message and I'll return to you as soon as possible", she said.
They thanked the doctor and left her office.
Jack had his car waiting for them and as soon as they were inside he closed the privacy curtain.
"Ok, Sam, just spill it. What's bothering you? Was it the sex questions?", he asked looking at her who was looking at the window of the car.
"I didn't know you're away for Charlie's ultrasound", she said in a low voice.
Jack felt like he had been punched in the stomach.
"Yes. I was in the Middle East", he said passing a hand through his face.
"And now we're having another boy", she said even lower.
Jack grabbed her hand.
"Sam, look at me please", he asked.
She slowly turned her head towards him.
"We aren't having another boy. We are having a son. I had Charlie with Sara, not with you. It was a different life. He is sadly dead. But I'm not married to Sara, I'm married to you and we're having a baby. A boy. And I love you, only you", he said.
"Do you think you can love our son as you loved Charlie?", Sam asked with her eyes getting wetter.
Jack grabbed and hugged her tight. "Dear Lord, Samantha! What are you saying…Of course I'll love our son. I already love him", he said kissing her head.
Sam held him tight, trying to control herself. Damn hormones! They eventually arrived home and Jack decided that they needed to have a serious conversation so he dismissed his driver and told him to pick him again only next morning. None of them was going back to the Pentagon today.
As they entered the house, Sam went directly to their kitchen and to the fridge. She grabbed a bottle of water and drank it whole. She was shaking. Jack was by her side in seconds and grabbed her elbow making her sit.
"Do you need anything else?", he asked kneeling next to her.
"No. I'll be fine", she said taking her shoes.
Jack sat in the chair opposite to her and grabbed one of her foot.
"What are you doing?", she asked with a surprised look.
"Doctor's orders", he said starting to massage her feet.
Sam looked at him confused.
Jack just said "Let me spoil you. Just let me know if the pressure is too much, okay?"
"Ok", she said moaning as his hands used gentle pressure and circular motions to massage her feet.
Jack focused on the arches, heels, and balls of her feet, as these areas tended to be the tensest and sore.
"Good?", he asked.
She had closed her eyes. "Yes, very much. It feels so good."
Jack smiled and continued to move his fingers.
"My pleasure. You deserve to be pampered, especially during this time."
Sam opened her eyes and looked at him. She slowly took her feet and rested it on the floor.
"I don't need to be pampered", she said lifting an eyebrow.
Jack took a deep breath and got up.
"OK, Sam. We need to talk. Get up, this isn't comfortable for you to be seated. Let's go to the living room", he said extending his hand.
She grabbed his hand and got up but a sudden kick from their son made her bend. "Ouch", she let out.
"What?", Jack asked concerned when he saw her put both hands at her belly.
"Your son decided to kick one of my ribs", she said taking a deep breath.
Jack smiled. "Oh really?"
"Yeah", Sam said moving to the living room. She dropped on the couch putting her legs on the coffee table.
Jack sat next to her.
"Talk to me, Sam. You're shutting me out", he said putting one hand over hers.
"And you're discussing our sex life with strangers", she said blushing.
"Dr. Weaver is hardly a stranger. And I miss you. Don't you miss me?", he asked slowly.
Sam looked at him.
"Of course I missed you Jack! God you have no idea how I miss you but honestly, look at me?! Not very appealing right now…", she said closing her eyes and resting her head in the couch.
He shook his head. Sam's insecurities had always been an issue between them but with her pregnancy they had escalade to Mount Everest proportions. He had to take care of that. Now.
"So you're not sexy anymore. Is that it?", he asked.
"Don't make fun of me", she warned.
"I'm just asking you a fair question, Sam. You don't feel sexy?", he asked as calmly as he could.
She opened her eyes and stared at him. Her blue eyes flashing all the frustration she was feeling.
"Of course I don't feel fucking sexy, Jack! I have a football in my belly! How sexy is that?!", she almost yelled.
Jack put one hand in her knee.
"So there's no point in me telling you that you never looked more beautiful to me than now?" he asked.
Sam blushed bright red.
"You've learned to lie very well with your years in Washington", she said through her teeth.
He hissed and lowered his head.
"Goddamnit Sam. You really know where to hit me", he said.
She regretted her words as soon as they left her mouth. But she was on a mood swing difficult to change.
"I'm just stating a fact. I don't need you to lie to me Jack. I have mirrors. I know perfectly well how I look. So you can drop those made up sentences to make pregnant women feel better. They don't work with me", she said.
"I'm not pretending, Sam. I'm telling how I'm feeling. For once I'm telling how I'm feeling and you are throwing that out of the window", he said with a sad tone.
Sam stood up from the couch.
"Well I'm sorry Jack if I let you down. I already know that I can't never reach Sara's motherhood accomplishments but hey…You can always go see if she's still available", she said with tears running down her face.
Jack looked at her open mouthed.
"What the fuck are you talking about? Why are we even speaking about Sara?!", he asked confused.
"Never mind. I'm going to bed", she said trying to pass him to go to the bedroom.
He got up and blocked her passage.
"No", he simply said.
"Move Jack", she said putting a hand in his chest.
"No. We haven't finished", he said not moving a muscle.
"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY WAY", she yelled completely out of control.
"Calm down, Sam. Your blood pressure will rise", he warned.
"My blood pressure will definitely rise if you don't move", she said starting to feel dizzy.
Jack noticed that her eyes weren't focused anymore and grabbed her immediately.
"Honey?", he called.
"Move, Jack", she said but feeling her strength starting to go away.
"Sure, I'll move", he said picking her up in his arms and moving them to their bedroom. She had her eyes closed and her head rested against his chest. He honestly didn't know if she had fainted. Slowly and gently he lay her in the mattress.
"Sam?", he called her, caressing her hair.
"What?", she asked with her eyes still closed.
"Do I need to call the doctor?" he asked concerned.
"No", she said, finally opening her eyes. "I was just dizzy".
Jack felt like a weight had been lifted from his heart.
"Do you want some water?", he offered.
"No", she said looking at him. "I'm sorry", she said letting the tears drop.
He continued to caress her hair.
"Samantha Carter-O'Neill, I love you. Please believe me once and for all. I love you even more now that you're carrying my son. And yes you're damn sexy to me, football belly and all. I love your football belly. It's the most gorgeous football belly in the universe. Because we made it. So please stop fighting me, Sam. Let me in", he asked as his fingers moved to her lips.
Sam grabbed his hand and kissed it.
"OK", she finally said. "So do you still want to follow the doctor's instructions?", she asked with a smile.
Jack smiled even more and moved his mouth to hers, kissing her deeply.
"Oh, you have no idea...", he said as his lips moved to her neck.
Sam started to untuck his shirt from his trousers.
"Any favorite position, General?", she asked putting her hands on his back.
Jack was already unzipping his pants.
"You on top. Absolutely", he said grinning.
She smiled as he started to undress her. Then slowly he sat on the bed, resting his back against their several pillows and held her hands helping until she was sitting on his lap, facing him. He accommodated her new position by sliding forward so that she could fold her legs behind him. Jack brought both hands up to cup her face and kissed her passionately. With Sam's hands on his shoulders for balance, Jack's hands glide up along her sides, followed by her back and belly, making gentle movements. When Sam's only response was to move a hand to the back of his head to press him closer, Jack slid a hand up to cup her breast.
"I love you so much", he said starting to kiss her.
She moaned with pleasure as he kissed her until they were both panting and struggling to breathe. Sam looked down between his legs and then back up into his eyes, giving him a sexy smile.
"Oh I love you too", she said with a deep-throated chuckle.
She put her arms around his neck and pulled herself closer to him, till his erection was pressing into her folds, and her breasts were crushed against his chest as she kissed him once again. When they broke the kiss again from lack of air, they were both extremely aroused.
"Ready?", he asked.
She nodded and lifted up a bit and helped him get situated. Then she lowered herself onto him, taking him whole, and Jack's heart nearly stopped beating from the shock of how damned great it felt. He had forgotten just how good she felt.
"I've missed you," she admitted breathlessly. Then her lips found his once again, and she forgot about breathing or about anything else but how good it felt to be fucked by her husband.
"Could have fooled me," he replied around her mouth, as he gripped her swaying hips with his hands. He lifted his hips, meeting her downward moves with powerful upward thrusts of his own.
Sam knew she was close to coming. Only a minute passed before they both came hard, their bodies shaking with the force of their orgasms.
Afterward, as they cuddled in their bed, Jack thought back to what she had said.
"Honey, why did you mentioned Sara in the living room? It's not the first time…", he pointed out caressing her belly.
Sam started to cry. "I'm afraid of being a bad mother. That you'll compare us. That you'll find her a better mother than me".
Jack grabbed her head tight and made her look at him.
"You have to stop with that, Sam. My life with Sara is over. It's past. You're my wife. We're going to have a baby boy. That's our present and future, the rest is behind us. I love you, no one else", he said kissing her. Feeling her wet face.
She kissed him back, clinging to him the best her body allowed her. "God, Jack, I've never felt like this before. I don't know what's wrong with me", she said.
He caressed both her cheeks.
"Must be your pregnancy hormones. You should talk with Dr. Weaver about this", he said.
She put her head in his neck, hiding. "It's so embarrassing", she admitted.
"No, honey. I'm sure lots of pregnant women go through the same as you. Plus, you have your super genius brain working along. It doesn't help, Sam", he said in a smoothing tone.
"OK, I'll talk with her", she said.
"Good". Jack kissed her forehead. "Now that we've done our homework we should try to sleep", he said smiling.
She punched him in the shoulder but he heard her giggle. It was an improvement.