Circumstantial

by Pepja98

What evidence would it take to make you believe the worst in someone? Steph finds out the hard way and then must face her new reality. An eventual Babe HEA but he has to face his own demons in order to make it right. Trigger warnings but not everything is as it seems. Long story, completely written and posting frequently. Serious Angst.

16. Chapter 16

A/N Thanks to Mrs. Evanovich and her creative genius. Huge thank you to Kathy who Beta'd this chapter and made it so much better. To the wonderful Heather, thank you for the amazing advice and guiding me on this journey. And Lisa, thank you for talking me down when I thought I broke Ranger! This chapter backtracks a bit. I didn't want to chop up the last chapter since we have to go back and forth from Cape May to Trenton. Thanks to all of you who are sticking with me on this wild emotional journey! You guys are AWESOME!

~Chapter 16

Previously back in Trenton...

***Jun 7

Lester POV

After the initial shock wore off, our lives returned to normal. I guess you could call it normal. We just work. It feels like all of the fun got sucked right out of life. When Kelsey tried to trap me I was pissed and then when that wore off I was just sad for her. I pitied her. When Stephanie tried to trap Ranger well I was livid. I think I felt just as betrayed as Ranger. Way more angry at her than Kelsey. But as the weeks continue on, I just feel emptiness. This whole company is functioning on autopilot. It's like a dark cloud is hanging over us. Do I deserve to live miserably for all the bad things I've done? Yes. Am I just going to lie back and accept it? I don't know if I have a fucking choice, I think shaking my head as I increase the speed on the treadmill. Pushing myself on the treadmill and on the mats is something we're all doing. The closer we were to Steph, the harder we're working to get her out of our heads. It's like she fucking betrayed the whole company. I don't have a clue as to what to do next. After my run, I make my way to Ranger's office and find it empty. I head to the control room and the two new guys are working the monitors. Chuck and Luke are Army veterans that have more years of service than anyone in this company. They were hired specifically to watch monitors and to do paperwork, hands down the worst jobs here. This was one of Stephanie's ideas when she helped us deal with some admin issues. She really had great ideas on how we could boost morale and restructure the scheduling. Everything is automated now, cutting down on time wasted managing our schedules. Plus now we don't have to put in our time with monitors and paperwork. All of that is handled by disabled vets that are happy to be back making a difference in the world. A win-win. I really don't get it though. That kind of person is not the kind of person who would betray the same people she worked so hard to help. How could she do this to us? Fuck, something has to give. I shake the thought from my head. "Hey boys. Where's the boss?" .

"Hey Lester." Luck responds. "He left thirty minutes ago. Took the Turbo. Want me to pull up his trackers?"

"No, if he took the Turbo then he probably disabled the tracker. I'll catch up with him later. Thanks," I say to him as I turn to head to my apartment. I run into Harris, a newbie still on probation, on the way to the stairwell.

"Hey Les, do you want to grab a drink later? You look like you could use a night out." Harris is a player and was initially trying to engage in a competition on picking up women. He's young and immature so it was fun for a while. We did a lot of trolling together and found that working together, we could pick up women faster since women usually went out in groups. We had a good run but after the whole betrayal, none of us that were close to Stephanie have had any desire to go out. It seems all we want to do is to work and hit things. Luis had to install three more heavy bags to keep up with demand. The streets are safer. Stark Street is the safest it's been in forever, I think sardonically. I don't want to admit it out loud but I think the whole fucking town is depressed. It's like a black cloud has descended over Trenton. I swear even the smog seems thicker, more oppressing. The drinking sounds good but I have no desire to chat up some bimbo looking for a good time.

"Nah." I tell him. "I'm tired. I have an early morning so I'm calling it a night." I do have an early morning but that wouldn't have stopped me before. Fuck. I need to shake this. Maybe I need a vacation, I think to myself as I head back to my apartment. If I can just get away, maybe I can get back on track.

RPOV

It's been over three weeks since the Stephanie Betrayal, as I've been calling it. I can't shake the unsettled feeling I have. I still can't believe she did this to me. I can't believe she had us all fooled. I haven't heard much about her except she dropped off her resignation here and at Vinnie's. She also had my POA revoked. How could I be so wrong about her? That question still bothers me. If she was trying to trap me then why would she just give up like she did. She didn't actually try to trap me. Nothing makes sense, I think as I run my hand down my face. After the anger and emotion wore off, I was able to process the information a little differently. I reacted and it wasn't pretty. In hindsight, I should have demanded she tell me what she wanted. Instead I jumped to conclusions and everything sort of spun out of control. For the hundredth time, I wonder if I had handled this better would she still be pregnant ? Whose kid ... I can't let my mind go there. FUCK. I slam my hand on the surface of my desk making everything jump. I never thought she'd get the abortion. She had all this Catholic guilt when it came to sex, how could she go through with it? What if it was my kid? That's what is bothering me the most. What would have happened if we were in a relationship? Would I be happy that we were having a baby together? My vasectomy was two days ago and I'm still not cleared for full duty so I sit with the express task of finishing the pile of paperwork that I loathe. Steph was able to streamline everything but signatures are still required. Sitting isn't exactly comfortable but I accept the pain for the way I handled this situation. I try to force my attention back on the paperwork but the exercise is futile. Thoughts of her keep popping into my head.

What is she doing for money?

Why hasn't anyone seen her around?

Is she sick from the procedure?

What if she's dead?

I power off my computer and head up to Seven, it's late so I'm perfectly fine calling it a day. I can't keep going like this. I tried to leave town but that only lasted a couple of weeks. I ended up back in Trenton for an emergency and the recent doctor's visit. I should just move to Miami. I can make that my home base but something's holding me back. It doesn't feel right. Maybe it's all the unanswered questions. I make a quick decision to go to her apartment. I need answers and I need them tonight. I take the stairs down to the garage and get in the turbo for the ten minute drive across town.

I pull into her lot and immediately begin taking account of my surroundings. No unusual cars in the parking lot. No one lurking about. The lights are off in her second floor apartment. Her POS car is parked by the dumpster. It doesn't look like it's been moved in a while. I make my way up the stairs. A quick pick of the locks has me entering just a few seconds after I arrive. Whatever I expected, it wasn't this. The place was different. The air smelled stale like it's been locked up for a little while. The living room just had furniture. Besides the trash bags stacked up against the front door, the place looked like no one lived here. Two boxes were sitting on the dining room table - one had my name and the other had Morelli's. The rat is on the kitchen counter next to her cookie jar. I snort. She would never leave the rat or the cookie jar. I counted on that because I have both of them tracked.

I open the fridge and find that it is on but completely empty. No food, no condiments, nothing. Odd. Kitchen cabinets have pots and pans and dishes but no food either. Only rat food and wood chips for his cage. I head into her bedroom and find her bed stripped down to the mattress pad. There are clean sheets neatly folded on the mattress and the pillows are bare. I open her closet and am shocked. It is completely empty. I search her dresser and find it empty as well. Nothing under her bed. I look in the bathroom and see that it has the most personal items. There are clean towels hanging and soap and shampoo in the shower. Everything was clean and off the counters but there are some personal products under the sink and in the drawers. It looks like someone lives here, but not Steph. No hair and makeup products cluttering the countertop, a tell-tale sign that Steph does not live here anymore. That's concerning.

I headed back into the main room, making a beeline to the table looking at my box. Mine was much larger and overflowing and Joe's was very small and practically empty. I smiled that even though we didn't have a relationship, I still had a bigger impact on her life. I looked through Joe's first. Beyond the label, there wasn't a note or anything personal, just a pair of socks, a couple of movies and a pair of boxers. Also, there was the metal sculpture that she landed on when their relationship imploded. I laugh internally at the implications of giving him the hunk of metal.

I switch to my box and pull off the label that says "Ranger". On top is my key fob. I sit staring at it. It was deactivated the day I found out she didn't get the shot. That's where this all went to hell. "Why did you lie about the shot, Babe?" The thought that I offered to father a child for her floats in my head. At the time I wasn't serious. I was just trying to cheer her up by making her laugh. But when I think back, what would I have said if she really did want a kid with me? She had always said that she may never want kids. 'May' being the operative word. Apparently, 'may' got bumped up to "yes" and when her plan didn't work, she changed her mind. I turn back to the box and put the key fob on the table. There are quite a few Rangeman clothing items including my silk boxers. There is a mixture of her clothes and mine. I smell them. They have been here long enough to smell like Stephanie and the detergent she used. I pile the clothes up and reach into the box, pulling out the smashed SEALs hat. Always be aware of your surroundings, I told her when I asked her to keep it. Yep, that's what this hat means to me and the sacrifice the owner made when he was on my team. I guess I wasn't living that mantra in this situation.

Next I pull out an arsenal of guns, stun guns and knives. There's a flak jacket and a couple of holsters and several boxes of bullets. I pause and take a deep breath. This fucking trip down memory lane is getting to me but I really wasn't prepared to see what was still to come. Next comes a couple of jewelry boxes. I see that the earrings I gave Stephanie for her birthday last year are nestled in the box they came in. I know she wore them. I've seen them in her ears every time I saw her since her birthday including the night she came to tell me about the pregnancy. The diamond solitaire necklace that I gave her for Christmas is also packed away in its box. She was too scared to lose it and likely never even wore it out in public. Christ, why was I giving her expensive jewelry if we weren't in a relationship and why does it hurt so much that she's returning it? I reach in the box and pull out a small silk bag. In it is the loose diamond I found when the safe blew. I thought she deserved it as a finder's fee. She had done all of the work and followed all of the clues. She deserved it.

I pull out more mementos that are connected to us. FUCK! I can see her returning all the stuff that she borrowed or that was mine but this shit? These were gifts. Gifts that were hers. She has erased me from her life. I sit there and stare at the jewelry alone. It cost more than 20k and she's just giving it back to me. That really doesn't fit with the gold digger hypothesis. She was never comfortable with all of the money I spent on her and when I did, I spent it freely. She never once asked me for anything. I think back at how I came to the conclusion that I did. It wasn't just one person. It was everything. Lula suggesting that Steph should have my child and it would solve her money issues. Lester's situation. Jeanne Ellen saying that anyone with a uterus would trap a man with a baby if the price was right. My lawyer's push to have my portfolio secured from lawsuits of a personal nature. Steph seeing my portfolio statement and then not getting the shot like she said she would. Even Steph's own admission that she's using me for my sheets and turbo seats. That could have been a benign statement. Her comment can certainly be taken out of context, but I know that she's never taken advantage of me or been cavalier or irresponsible with anything I have or have given her.

Contrary to that, she seems the happiest when it's just us talking or being together. How many times has she declined letting me give her a car or money? She would rather I share myself with her than have me buy her things. "Ok", I sigh trying to process everything, but that doesn't explain why she was with Morelli while we were... what? Together? In a relationship? We were not together, I made that clear. If we weren't together then wasn't she free to see Morelli? "Fuck. Steph, where are you?" I ask out loud. I'm not asking myself the most important question. Was the baby mine and why did you go through with the abortion.

I put all the stuff back in the box and carry it down to the Porsche. On a whim, I go back upstairs to grab Morelli's box when I see the trash bags lining the wall by the door. I had gotten so distracted by my box and the fucking trip down memory lane, I hadn't looked to see what was inside. I opened the first bag and see that it's all clothes. I look in the next few bags and see more of the same. The last one was filled with her shoes. Five of the six garbage bags are completely filled to capacity with Steph's clothes. All her clothes. From her favorite sleep pants to the 4 inch strappy FMP shoes that she loves. If her clothes are here, she must be coming back. Right? Is she moving? Where's she going? Still so many questions. I grab Morelli's box and head down to my car for the second time. I guess paying Morelli a visit is my next stop in tonight's quest to get answers.

I pull up to the house on Slater Street a little before 2200 hours. There is a light on by the front door and I can tell by the shadows that someone is watching TV. Only his car in the driveway, so slim chance I will be interrupting his idea of a hot date. I never understood how Steph would tolerate him not taking her out on dates. It would have been so easy to steal her away from him if I were so inclined. I raise my hand to knock since the doorbell was unlit. I doubt it works and he doesn't seem like the entertaining type so it's probably not going to make the honey do list. I hear a voice and the dog barking at my intrusion.

Morelli opens the door and a disgusted look contorts his face when he realizes it's me. I see that he's holding a beer and by the movements, this isn't his first.

"What are you doing here?" he asks. I wanted to talk about Stephanie but didn't want to give him the upper hand.

"I have some of your stuff from Stephanie's apartment."

He opens the door wide, inviting me in. I have his box under my arm as I enter directly into his living room. Not much has changed since I was here before except the pool table. I can see it from the opening in the living room. What an idiot.

"You didn't need to bring it over, I'm practically living with her already. We're going to work this out," he slurs.

Her apartment certainly doesn't look lived in so I doubt that he's going to be spending any time there. Interesting that he would try to bait me though.

"So, you and Steph are getting back together?" I ask cautiously.

"Yeah, she was really sorry for aborting my kid and promised to make it up to me. She said she just had to get you out of her system so we could be together. She said she was going to move in here," he continues and I wonder for a brief second if that explained the state of her apartment. Why would she have a box labeled Morelli if she was moving in here though? That didn't make sense but it explained why she was preparing to leave.

"She's out on a stakeout, that's why she isn't with me now. As soon as she moves in here, she's going to quit her job and we'll get married and start our family."

Well now, she gave her notice weeks ago, I guess Joe here didn't get the memo.

"I'm on administrative leave. The goddamn chief didn't like my involvement in the strip club riot. I was there on official business for chrissake. I was on a stakeout. I was undercover if you know what I mean but don't tell anyone. It's all hush hush. Bad press for the department. I have to stay here until the investigation is finished," he says with a blink. I think he was trying to wink but he's obviously very inebriated.

"So how long have you and Steph been back together?" I ask. I want to hear what the asshole says. Part of the reason that I went off the rails was because Steph was cheating on me. When my takedown was canceled and I went to her apartment and saw him leaving, I thought she was involved with him while we were together. Fuck. I can't seem to explain our relationship without saying we were together. Did I just say our relationship? Fuck. Whatever. When we were fucking. There, that sounds better. I thought she was fucking him while we were supposed to be fucking exclusively. Was he lying?

"We never broke up, we just hit a rough patch. There hasn't been a day that has gone by that we weren't fucking. She can't get enough of me," he adds with a ridiculous whisper.

Well, I know he is lying now, but was he lying then? I suddenly have the urge to find out. I drop his box, pull my cuffs off my utility belt and have his hands secured behind his back before he can even slur the words "Hey, what are you doing?"

I un-holster my gun and point it at Morelli. I push him back so he lands on the couch in a seated position, hands still secured behind his back.

"Enough of the bullshit Morelli." I snarl. "She gave her notice and hasn't been working at the Bonds Office in weeks, her apartment hasn't been lived in for awhile and she left a box of your stuff on her dining room table."

"Uh... uh" he stammers.

"Cut the bullshit and tell me what you know." I say as I release the safety. I would never shoot Morelli in his own home, probably, but he doesn't know that.

Little beads of sweat pop out on his forehead. I guess the Italian Stallion isn't as tough as he thinks he is. I can tell by the quickening of his breathing that he's not too far away from pissing himself. If I can get him to do that, our little chat will be our secret forever. He isn't going to want that to get out.

"I will give you 3 seconds to start talking or we're going to play a little game. It's Russian but I think you'll catch on." I am not pointing a revolver at him so my threat of Russian roulette is ridiculous. I have a clip and it's fully loaded with one in the chamber. He knows this too.

"Three"

"You're gonna pay for this Manoso," he slurs.

"Two" I remove the safety. Yep, our little secret is safe as I notice the piss saturating the front of his pants.

"One." I pause.

"Okay okay," he starts. "I haven't seen Stephanie for a while. We haven't had sex since we broke up months ago." He closes his eyes. "I was angry. She wouldn't get back together with me. She said she wanted to see how things worked out with you so I was trying to get back at you for all of the times you moved in on me." It's funny how adrenalin sobers you up really fast. "Don't kill me." He finishes, his voice cracking.

"I have no desire to kill you, Morelli. I trust that our little conversation will stay between us. Just remember, you have a lot lose if any of this gets out." I say as I gesture to his wet pants. "Oh and leave Steph alone. Stop trashing her. I won't tolerate your immature slander." I reholster my gun and reach around him to wipe my prints off my cuffs. He whimpers and I have to suppress a smile. I turn to open the door with the used napkin I wiped the cuffs off with. No sense leaving any prints behind. I get in my car and pull away from the curb. I try to process all the answers I got. The glaring fact is that Steph aborted my baby. I kept telling myself that it was Morelli's since she made no effort to counter my offer. If the baby really was mine, she was guaranteed money. Now that I know that she didn't cheat and that it really was my kid, I don't know what to do. I don't know how to deal with that. "FUCK!" I scream as I pound the steering wheel. Clips of conversation from that night pop into my head.

"I never..."

"I wouldn't"

I didn't even let her fucking finish. I don't know what she was asking for. The next snippet that goes through my head was "I am so scared..."

"Fuck!" I roar again louder as I whip into my parking space, barely stopping before crashing into the wall. I need Tank. I need to hit something and I need it to hit me back. I deserve a beating and Tank is the only one that has a chance of giving it to me. I just have to piss him off enough.

I hit speed dial two. He answers with "Rangeman?"

"I need you to spar with me. Right. Now" I say with urgency. "Where are you?"

"I'm on five. I was reviewing our day tomorrow. I can be in the gym in three minutes."I disconnect and enter the stairwell.

I start to strip down to my cargos when he enters the gym. I need to piss him off so that he'll try to beat on me. I'll always fight back and protect myself, I can't just stand by and take a beating. We enter the ring and stand in the ready position. I start with "Steph is leaving town."

He takes a swing. I dodge and continue to bounce on my feet.

"She didn't sleep with Morelli. He lied to me." He fakes me with a right jab and makes contact with his left. Solid shot to the kidneys. I connect with his face.

"I forced her to have the abortion." He roundhouse kicks at my head but I duck. I sweep his feet out from under him. He hits the mat with a thud.

"She told me she was scared and I threw her out." He fakes a lunge and I jump away, only to hit the edge of the mat. I go down hard on the floor.

"The child she aborted was mine." I strike at Tank's face but he blocks with his left and strikes with his right. His right is stronger.

"You marched her out of the building." He lunges and I dip to hit him low, lifting him off of his feet. We go down hard.

"STOP" Bobby screams as he enters the gym. "What the hell are you doing Ranger? You aren't cleared for full duty let alone sparing." He is now standing directly over us. I roll off Tank and get to my feet.

"Core team meeting in the conference room, fifteen minutes." I bark as I grab a towel and a bottle of water from the beverage fridge. I need to get my laptop and files from my office and call Ella for some caffeinated beverages and sandwiches, it's going to be a long night. Everything else will be in the conference room.

"At 2200 hours I went to Stephanie's apartment to get some answers from her. It's been exactly three weeks since the abortion and some things weren't adding up for me. All of the evidence we have on this situation is in this file." I drop the fat file that contained the evidence that we had collected on the table. "Here is the offer that I presented to her based on the evidence from the first file. It includes two options. Option one was abortion and Option two was for her to have the baby and sign over any and all rights to me. All of the stipulations are listed to get the million dollar payout."

I drop the second file.

"The thing that was bothering me was that Stephanie was never interested in money before. Why now all of a sudden? If she really was after the money, why not give up the kid. She was okay with aborting it but not okay with signing over custody to me? I wanted answers so I went to her apartment. Unfortunately that only left me with more questions." I get up and start nervously pacing.

"Her car was parked in her lot. It looks like it hasn't moved in weeks. She wasn't home. All of her clothing and personal belongings are packed up in bags. All of her shoes and dress clothes, distraction clothes, her jeans and t-shirts...you get the point. Her bedroom had zero personal effects. Her closet and drawers were empty. The bed was stripped. A set of clean sheets was folded neatly, sitting on it ready to be made. Is someone moving in? Her bathroom had the bare minimum. There was soap and shampoo in the shower but no tooth brushes or toothpaste or hair dryer or makeup. Nothing personal. In the kitchen, the fridge was empty of everything. No food or condiments. Nothing. On the counter was her rat in the aquarium and her cookie jar. Who's feeding the rat? All the cabinets had dishes and kitchenware but still no food. No peanut butter, no Tastykakes, nothing to eat but food for the rat and the shavings for his habitat. It looks like she just walked away from her life with the clothes on her back. On the dining room table were two boxes. One had my name and the other had Morelli's. In Joe's box there were only a few items that likely belonged to him. In my box was everything I have ever given to her. The jewelry that I gave her for her birthday and Christmas. The loose diamond from one of our cases. The clothes were a mixture of her uniforms and mine. She often wore my shirt as a sleep shirt so she had collected several over the years. She included anything of value that was from me. If she was such a gold digger then why not sell the jewelry?"

I look at each of my four closest friends, making eye contact.

Tank is the first one to speak up.

"Did we make a mistake here?" he asks.

Just then, Ella opens the door and wheels in a cart. She turns to leave and Les stops her.

"Ella, you never believed Stephanie was trying to trap Ranger, why?"

She turns back to us and looks thoughtful.

"I know her. I know that she would rather take a bullet before she hurt any one of you. She wasn't faking her love for us. I don't care what the evidence says. I know two things for sure. That girl was head over heels in love with you and she was petrified of having a baby. The last thing she would do was get pregnant on purpose. She called me in tears several weeks ago. She was having a panic attack when she couldn't get the baby she was watching to stop crying. She admitted to me that she wouldn't do that to a child, willingly making herself some innocent kid's mom. I also wouldn't have believed she would have an abortion though. That doesn't fit with who I know her to be. But, if she did, it was only because she was too scared to take on the responsibility. And, it will probably break her spirit."

She looks back toward the other guys. Even though Les asked the question, she had been addressing me with her answer. I hang my head. I know Ella's right. In my heart, I know Steph wouldn't do that to me. I got so caught up in the investigation and the evidence, I didn't stop to consider the facts that I know to be true of her. Ella leaves with a snort of disgust. I guess she believe we're all fucking idiots. She may be right. All of us stay silent for several minutes after Ella leaves.

"I took Morelli's box with me and decided to deliver it personally. He was drunk and alone watching TV. He was bragging about sleeping with Steph and that they were back together. I persuaded him to tell me the truth and he admitted that he hasn't slept with her since before they broke up close to four months ago making it pretty likely she aborted my child. He didn't know she had resigned from here or the Bonds Office. He's on paid admin leave pending an investigation into the strip club bust. He doesn't seem to know anything else because he seems to be drinking excessively." I grab a marker out of the credenza drawer and head to the white board.

I start on the timeline and within an hour we have everything back on the whiteboard only this time we are looking at the evidence more objectively. We have the dates she had her doctor's appointment. The date I found the positive pregnancy test and when we called the doctor's office. The date she had the abortion. Now we know the date of conception and I add that to the timeline. According to the clinic notes, the estimated date of conception was March 12th, just a few days after she said she got the shot. The single piece of evidence that is damning. I look at the dates she went to Point Pleasant. We aren't sure of the exact date she broke up with Morelli and I had to estimate the date we started our no strings sexual relationship. Fuck there's that word again. Even a no strings relationship is a relationship. I rub my hand down my face in a show of frustration.

"My two sticking points are that she lied about her birth control and she went through with the abortion. The cheating with Morelli has been cleared up and there is a lot of circumstantial evidence so I'm not including that because it mostly comes from others with an ulterior motive." I mark those off the board. "Jeanne Ellen for example. She was looking for a fuck buddy and I originally turned her down. She made some comments that Stephanie was a gold digger and trapping men into fatherhood was part of every woman's MO. Also, the conversation that Tyler heard was after she was already pregnant so Lula and her discussing it as an option is not really making sense. I want to look at everything again but this time eliminating circumstantial evidence and anything that is solely a character reference."

I pause and clear my throat. "We need to move forward. I need to talk to Stephanie and get my answers. We need to run a new background check on her. Pull up her trackers. Talk to her friends and family. Find out if anyone knows where she is. She quit her job twenty days ago. What is she doing for money? Payroll is this week. I'll release her final check. I had held it since I thought she was trying to trap me. Trace it. Where are the bags with her clothing going? Is she moving? Talk to Dillon. What is she using for a car? Her track record of using Stark Street car dealers is going to be like looking for a needle in a haystack and for the love of God, put word out that she is back under my protection. I don't want another attack on her because I'm an asshole."

With that, we divvy up jobs and get to work. I pull out my phone and text Hector. I should have included him in this meeting but I knew he was currently out of the building. He'll be back tomorrow morning and I'll catch him then. We work for an hour doing everything we can do for now.

"We can reconvene tomorrow at 0800 hours. Hopefully tomorrow we'll have some answers. Dismissed." With that I go upstairs and get ready to sleep. I still have an unsettled feeling. I look at my bed and get a disgusted feeling. I know that I cannot sleep here. Resigned, I pull my pillow and blanket off and bring it to the living room and prepare the couch. Looks like I'm going to suffer a little more pain for my sins tonight.

***July 9

A month passes and we are no closer to finding out what happened to Steph. Our investigation leads us to conclude that she left and isn't coming back. Her bank account was closed on May 19th and her final check was rejected and returned to me. Her grandmother moved into her old apartment with Rex and she threw out her clothes. All six bags went to the dumpster. I would have saved them but I found out too late and they now have found their new home in the city dump. Her car met the same fate but it's home is now the scrap yard. The only two trackers left are on the rat and the cookie jar. What a fucking mess, I think as I head to my childhood home in Newark.

I can't believe I was roped into the monthly birthday party. Each month my parents have a party for anyone who celebrated a birthday that month. I usually skip them. I've only been to three in the past five years since I have lived in Trenton and they have been my birthday month. My mood is shit and I have a feeling this isn't going to go well.

Jeanne calls me on the way and grills me with questions. This darkens my mood even more. I tell her I'm headed to my parents house and she makes it known that she's pissed that she wasn't included. WTF? She's not my girlfriend and I'm not going to introduce her as such. Hell, This is so fucked up. Jeanne Ellen knows the rules.

I arrive at my parents house and am greeted at the door with hugs and kisses from my mom.

"Welcome hijo," she says as she pushes me to arm's length so she can assess me. "You look good, well, except your eyes. Are you sleeping? You work too hard. You need to take a break and have fun." I sidestep out of her grasp and her questions to shake my father's hand.

"It's good to see you hijo.," he says as he pulls me in for a hug.

"Papa." I reply stiffly.

My mother grabs my hand and pulls me in. "Come in, come in. Come with me, I want to talk to you. I have someone I want you to meet. She's a nice girl..." she begins and I immediately pull at her hand to stop our progress. She looks at me questioningly.

"I'm not interested in meeting a nice girl." I tell her with a little more sternness than I should have. She looks at me trying to figure out something. What that is, I have no idea but I learned long ago that I should not underestimate how much my Mama can read me.

"Oh no dear, she's not here." she says and I let her continue to pull me into the kitchen. "Sit" she commands. I comply, relieved that I don't have any witnesses to me taking orders from a short Cuban woman. She busies herself while I sit at the kitchen table waiting for the inquisition. "So if you don't want to meet a nice girl, then do you have someone special? You need to find a nice girl. I know you aren't going to settle down and raise a family like your siblings but you can at least find someone to spend time with. I don't think it's healthy for a man to be alone." She pauses and tastes the sauce she has been stirring on the stove.

"I don't need anyone. I had a friend that I spent time with and it ended badly. So I have decided to be alone. You are just going to have to get used to the idea that it's just going to be me." I tell her.

She stops what she is doing to come stand in front of me.

"What happened dear?" she says with compassion thick in her voice. I'm immediately struck with the very foreign inclination to bare my soul to her. She's my mother, she has loved me unconditionally for my whole life. Even when I was unlovable, she made the toughest decision a parent can make by sending me away. My father is a different story but my mother? She showed love. At the time I couldn't see it, I was angry, but when I did the same for Julie, I finally realized that making the ultimate sacrifice is what shows love. Anything else would have been selfish.

That's the only reason I can come up with for my actions as I sit in the Turbo on the way back to Trenton. I told her everything. I told her that Steph stopped taking her birth control pill and got pregnant. I told her about the abortion and about my vasectomy. She was very sad about never getting any more grandchildren from me. She admitted that she held out hope that I would change my mind someday. She even lit candles about it for fucks sake. She was very upset at Stephanie and how she could be so cruel to me. She said that she was glad Steph was gone from my life and that I would heal and be fine. I didn't agree with her and that is why I'm still so fucking messed up. If I can just get answers then maybe I can get through this, I think as I try to slip into my zone. I'm an elite military machine. I don't do feelings.

***July 19

RPOV

"Do you want to spend the weekend at the shore?" Jeanne Ellen asks me.

"What?" I ask incredulousness seeping into my voice. Jeanne Ellen climbs on top of me and straddles me.

"I know we aren't ready to meet each other's parents but how about we go away together just for the weekend?" she says running her hands up and down my chest.

I stop her hands and roll her off me. She protests. I'm getting the hell out of here. I'm at her place since I haven't been able to stomach having her on Seven since that one time.

"This is over." I tell her.

"What the hell, Carlos?" she says and I pause picking up my pants to look at her. I'm not used to hearing her call me Carlos and I don't like it. I'm not Carlos to her.

"I think you have the wrong impression here. We are NOT dating. We are NOT getting to know each other. We are NOT in a relationship. We are fucking. That's it. It was a mutual arrangement in which we get together to fuck and that's all it ever was." I say resuming putting my pants on.

"We are so good together," she says and I ignore her. I continue to collect my clothes and dress. "I understand what you need. I can be your partner. Much better than that disaster." I pause again at that and look at her. She's crazy if she thinks that she can hold a candle to Babe. Fuck, where had that thought come from?

"Don't talk about her." I say through clenched teeth.

"You're still hung up on her," she states smugly. "She used you and you're still pining for her like a lovesick fool."

I stay silent. I don't want to lose my temper with someone I care so little for. Waste of energy.

"It was all for nothing. I didn't stand a chance, did I?" she asks with a snort.

"There was never an option for an us." I state with no emotion in my voice. Easy since I have no emotional attachment to her.

"Had I known that at the time, I wouldn't have wasted the effort. It's not like I had to do much really. It was barely anything. She sabotaged herself," she says and I know she expects me to demand to know what she is talking about. I can't give her the satisfaction of knowing she's getting to me. I want to force it out of her but that won't get me anything but a smug grin.

I walk out the door saying over my shoulder. "Our association is done. You will never work for me or I you. If you don't stay away from me then I will be forced to make you. You don't want that. You don't want me as an enemy."

Before the door closes I hear her reply. "I won't run from you like Stephanie did. I'm not scared of you." I pause and hold the door before it clicks.

"As long as you stay away, you don't need to be scared of me." I finish and let the door close completely.

On the drive back to the office, I thought of what she said. What the hell did she mean by 'I didn't have to do much'? I make a mental note to look at the evidence we collected and see if anything could be attributed to her.

Once back at my desk, I pull out the Betrayal folder and look through it. I know that we've gotten the truth about Morelli. Not getting the shot is a big deal and that would not have fit the 'barely do much' category. I look at some of the other damning evidence. Maybe the money? I write a note to check out the financial piece and see if Jeanne Ellen had anything to do with Stephanie's money issues. Was she blackmailing her?

***July 30

I put Hector on the trail after our morning meeting the day after I ended things with Jeanne. By noon I was pissed. Hector had spent the morning looking into Steph's banking history and noted the 3k withdrawals happening around the same time every other month. It was like it was a payment for something, but what? Since she didn't have anything that expensive, he started looking at Jeanne's financial records. Nothing to tie her to that kind of regular payment.

"So boss, I took a break from Jeanne Ellen and looked into all of Steph's friends and family. I wanted to follow that money. I hit pay dirt with her sister. When I searched Valerie, I found that she's in the final stages of foreclosure. The Kloughn's are way behind on their house payment and the bank is just weeks from eviction. When I looked into their bank records, I found two 3k deposits that correspond to Stephanie's withdrawals. I also see that there are some questionable activity with Albert. Valerie likely doesn't know that they are about to lose their house. If I had to guess, I would say that Albert has borrowed money from some questionable sources and now they're putting the screws to him. So it looks like Stephanie was trying to help her sister. Not really a gold digger action." he says. That pisses me off but I deserve it so I let him know that was his one and only pass.

The next hit comes after dinner. It looks like at the time of the bank loan, Stephanie had an alibi. I had the date of when the loan was declined on the timeline, not when she was supposedly in the bank applying. April 13 was when someone impersonating Stephanie walked into Investors Bank on Chestnut Street in Newark to apply. The person on the application put the date down as April 18th but the loan officer corrected it. I know for a fact that Stephanie was busy on April 13. That was two days after the Les and Kelsey debacle and was the day I was supposed to bring her birthday cake and I knew she was waiting for me. I purposely didn't show up knowing that she would take it as intended. I watched her trackers all day and felt like an ass for doing that to her. Hell, she was at Rangeman most of the day working. I think back at the clusterfuck this is. If it wasn't Stephanie, then who was it? Valerie? Jeanne? I don't know if it's worth it to find out. I know it wasn't Stephanie and that's all that's important.

So now, I sit drinking in my office on Seven looking over the timeline. I haven't decided on getting new furniture yet. I replaced the mattress even before I broke things off with Jeanne but I may want to erase all memories here. No memories are better than bad memories.