A/N Everything you recognize belongs to Janet Evanovich. Thank you to Kathy's amazing beta skills, Heather for all her sound advice and encouragement and Lisa who did a little of both!

~Chapter 18

*** Aug 13

SPOV Meanwhile back in Cape May...

The months are flying by. I can't believe I'm halfway through this. My days vary little and I like how boring my life has become. I wake up at 8:00am and head to the main house at 8:30. Dr. King is always cutting up some sort of fruit and we eat that and toast or healthy cereal. We take a walk on the beach and then he pours through medical journals or some other book that catches his interest until lunchtime. We cut up veggies for a salad and add the leftover fruit from breakfast. We take another walk but this one through the neighborhood. We often chat with neighbors that are sitting on their porches. We come back and Dr. King takes a nap and I must admit that I do as well. Hey, growing a baby is exhausting.

After our naps, I usually place the grocery order and or run errands that we need to do. If there's nothing to do, I'll sit and listen to Dr. King play the piano or some other instrument that he has tucked away in his study. He's brilliant and it shows in many areas of his life.

For dinner, we work side by side in the kitchen. At first, I just watched. Dr. King loves to cook but he also loves to teach so he's taught me a lot. I'm somewhere between running my own restaurant and not starving. Ok, so it's closer to not starving but hey, it's a lot better than where I was.

The rest of the evening is spent watching documentaries in the family room then sitting out in the screened-in back porch. We chat about everything from me asking him questions about my pregnancy to what we want to eat the following day to stories from our past. I've noticed that his forgetfulness is more noticeable with current events including me being there. He has often had housekeepers and even a nanny when Jason and Sarah lived with him so he assumes I work for him but he doesn't always remember my name. Sarah warned me about this so I gently remind him and assure him that I haven't been here very long.

Some days, I must admit that I long to be with family. Not my family because they suck, but a loving family that spends time together and just talks. No guilt or forced family functions. No expectations of being someone else or ridiculed when you fall short. I vow to make sure me and this little one will have that type of relationship. No matter what, I'll make sure he or she knows that they are loved whatever choices they make. I'll encourage them to reach for their dreams and pick up the pieces if they fail. I've spent a lot of time going over the toxic relationships that I had. I'm scared about doing this on my own so I focus on my appointment next week. I have my ultrasound scheduled and hopefully he or she will cooperate and I will find out who this little one is going to be. I have decided that if I have a girl, I will name her Ava Claire. If I have a boy, I'll go with Trevor Elliot. I can't decide if I want a girl to do all the fun girly things I like to do now or a boy since I like to do a lot of boy stuff. I'm okay with either. I guess I'll find out soon enough and then I'll have to wait to see what kind person they grow up to be.

***Aug 18

The morning of my appointment arrives and I'm dressed and ready to head up to the house. I make my way into the kitchen and say good morning to Dr. King.

"Good morning Stephanie," he says. I want to cringe every time he says it but he met me a long time ago and to confuse him now with a new name isn't right. I'm just glad today is going to be a good day with his memory. We have only had one really bad day where he was upset that he couldn't remember where he put his favorite book and got really agitated. I called Sarah and she was able to calm him down. Thankfully she's an early riser since it was 5:00am California time. When he remembers my name, I know it's going to be a good day.

He's cutting up the mango that just ripened and I busy myself getting the cereal out of the cabinet. I also pop a coffee pod into the machine and get the milk and sugar ready. I note that he already has his coffee and I let him know that I have an appointment at 10:30. We had just finished our breakfast when the phone rings. I answer and the male voice asks for Dr King. I hand him the phone and start to clean up our dishes.

"Sure. I can take him." I hear him say. Oh no! What in the world is he agreeing to? I listen for more clues as to what this is about.

"It would be my honor. I have plenty of room." He pauses when he sees my questioning look but he continues talking to the person on the other end."There's plenty of room here, plus my neighbor's a vet. He'll be able to help me with him and his issues." My eyes widen. I pull out my phone and send a quick text to Sarah asking her to call me as soon as she's free.

When he hangs up, I'm standing directly in front of him waiting for him to fill me in on the phone call.

"Oh" he says as if he is surprised I would be interested in what he has obviously just agreed to. I wait as patiently as I can, meaning, I'm only restraining myself from tapping my foot. Barely.

"That was my godson, Jack. He lost his son Ethan in Afghanistan several months ago. Ethan was a K9 dog handler and his dog survived. Jack took the dog since he was discharged from service and now they can't handle him. He intimidates Jack's two little dogs and he wanted to see if I could take him. He's not mean or anything, he just lays around but the other dogs won't eat or even come out from under the bed. The dog was diagnosed with depression and comes with training, vet care and meds for life with his military service. I offered to let him come here. Today actually. He'll be here around noon. I think having a dog around will liven this place up." he says, shocking the crap out of me. Sarah is not going to like this at all. I tell him that I'll have his granddaughter call him and I grab my keys and wallet to head off to my appointment. What the heck is he thinking? It's gonna be an exciting day, that's for sure.

I arrive on time and just finished drinking all the water I was instructed to drink. I don't have to go to the bathroom yet but I know I will soon. I hope they aren't behind. I sit in the waiting room for fifteen minutes thinking about how glad I am that I picked a doula to deliver my baby at home. I really like the idea of natural childbirth. I had abandoned the job search and just bought health insurance at a seriously discounted rate. It's terrible but if something really bad happens, I'll be covered. I just have to pay out of pocket for stuff like this. My fish money is still coming in and the little stipend I get from Sarah is enough to cover my expenses and I'm still able to save money for a rainy day. They call my name and I jump out of my seat. I'm so excited. If this little one doesn't cooperate then I may have to wait until I deliver to find out the gender.

The ultrasound tech is pleasant and professional. She explains how everything will work and points out the anatomy as she scans and measures the baby. I get to listen to the heart rate and have to hold back tears at the quick pace. I'm amazed at the image and am trying to absorb the wonder of it all.

"Do you want to find out the gender?" she asks me and I tear my eyes from the monitor to look at her hopefully. I nod my head in acknowledgement.

"Well, I can't ever be 100% sure when it's a girl but in this case, I'm pretty close. Here, look at the screen." She moves the transducer and points to where the genitalia would be. "See? I'm pretty sure you're having a girl." I can't keep from smiling. I'm so excited. I want to shout it from the rooftops. A girl. I'm having a girl. Life at this moment is very good.

When I arrive back home, I'm greeted by Jack, the friend of Dr King and the neighbor, Charles. Charles is trying unsuccessfully to get the dog to obey the 'come' and 'sit' commands. All three are discussing the emotional toll that losing his handler has had on him and the best way to handle his care. We are his last hope. If we can't keep him then he won't have any options left. That makes me sad. This poor dog has done everything he was trained to do and to be abandoned now is just wrong. I hear Dr. King's phone ring and he answers. He's apparently talking to Sarah and he's trying to convince her that keeping the dog is a good idea. It sounds like she doesn't agree. I finish putting away the groceries that I picked up on the way home while listening to all the excitement around me. I take the proffered phone from Dr. King and try to calm Sarah down. "Sarah, it's ok. I can take care of him. It's a dog. How hard can he be?" I asked her. "Plus, it sounds like we're his only option." I pause while she considers this.

"Fine, as long as you are sure. Grandpa can't take care of himself, how can he take care of a dog with special needs?" she says.

"Well, I'm guessing he's expertly trained so we're not dealing with an 'eat the furniture, accidents in the house' kind of dog." I tell her, thinking of Bob, missing the giant orange fur ball. "I bet he just needs a friend and if it works out, then maybe he'll be helpful in watching out for us."

That taken care of, I share the news of having a little girl and she is really excited for me. I'm so happy too. I hang up the phone and walk back into the main room listening to the men discuss the best care for the dog.

"I have treated service dogs and animals that mourn their owners but this is severe. Your best bet is to try it out for a few days and see if you can make any progress. He isn't a danger to you as long as you don't corner him. Just let him be. Put out water and food and he'll either eat and drink it or not. Talk kindly to him and maybe he'll come around." Charles says.

"What about letting him out? Should I put him on a leash?" I ask, trying to think of more questions to ask him.

"The trainer who dropped him off said that he'll stay close to his crate. This is the crate that traveled overseas with him and he considers home wherever the crate is. Do not try to put a leash on him. He's well trained and will not go after other animals or humans as long as he isn't threatened. Putting a leash on him can only be done by his handler and right now, he doesn't have one." Jack tells me. I start to think this may not be the best idea I've ever had but then one look at him and my heart breaks. He just looks so sad.

"I empathize with you buddy! I know what it feels like to have your whole world blow up in your face." I whisper to him.

"What about food? What kind and how much does he eat?"

"No table food. German Shepherd's have notoriously sensitive stomachs. I brought the food they gave me. It's available through a vet's office. It's pretty expensive but Charles may be able to get it at cost."

"I carry that brand." he says as he nods his head. "I can even bring it home and deliver it personally."

"Just set his crate up in the corner and let him be. If he wants to interact with you, then he will. Just keep putting food out and speak kindly to him. He needs to bond with someone if he wants to get through this."

The guys are still talking about what to do in case he gets sick and how to hide medicine in his food to sedate him if he needs to come into Charles's office to be checked out. Charles will check on us and we can call him if we have any problems and with that, he leaves and Jack and Dr. King talk for the remainder of the afternoon. I come back into the main house to find that Lex hasn't moved a muscle. He's still in the same position he was in three hours ago. Poor thing. "It'll be okay Lex." I tell him.

"What do you guys want to do for dinner?" I ask Dr. King. "We can order food or I can go pick up something from the grocery store to grill out."

"Grilling sounds great. I get enough take out." Jack replies.

Dr. King agrees. We don't eat a lot of takeout but neither of us care what we eat. I make a list and head back out to the grocery store. I get buns, ground meat and fresh corn on the cob. We have stuff for salads so it was a quick trip. I make an impromptu decision to get Lex a couple of dog toys and make my way back home.

I have a few minutes before we need to start dinner so I look up 'bonding with German Shepherd dogs'. I read several interesting articles and wanted to try implementing them soon. I have a plan to show this dog that there are other people that can love him and that his world didn't end when his handler died.

I fall into bed exhausted. I tried giving Lex raw hamburger meat and he refused. I tried giving him the toys I bought for him and he just laid there. Not interested. I tried giving him an ice cube and it just melted. It's only the first day so I shouldn't have expected to win him over this soon but I did. I let out a big breath. I really want to help him. If I can get through to him then maybe he can help me fill some of the void in my heart. I fall asleep thinking about how wonderful it would be not to have the empty feeling that has become my constant companion.

***Aug 19

I wake up slowly. The light from the sunrise is brutal on my cottage and like it or not, I'm up for the day. The promise of a nap and coffee is the only reason I roll over and get out of bed. Today is Friday and I get to talk to my Grandma today so at least I have that to look forward to. I get to tell her I'm having a girl. My excitement is starting to wane. The last several months I've had a lot of down times and with yesterday's news, I thought I had turned a corner. I guess I was wrong. Don't get me wrong, I'm still excited I'm having a girl but depression is still an oppressive feeling in my soul. I think of Lex. I have more to try and I plan on wearing him down. He's just going to have to deal with the fact that I already love him and will never give up on him.

"Guess what Grandma?" I ask, patiently waiting for her to answer.

"What Baby girl?"

"I'm having a girl!" I exclaim as some of the previous day's excitement returns. "I already know what I'm going to name her... Ava Claire. I wanted her to have your middle name. I'm so excited. I get to do girly things with her. I want to take her shopping. I can't wait to get mani-pedi's with her." I tell her excitedly.

"Oh that's wonderful! I'm so happy for you. How have you been?" she asks.

I go on to tell her about the ultrasound and Lex and she fills me in on what is happening with her life.

***Sep 12

I look over at Lex and smile. I can't believe how well we have bonded. He's like my shadow now. He made me earn it though. Turns out his will power wasn't as strong as his love of bacon. I'm pretty sure mine isn't either. After we got him, I read everything I could about bonding with him. I left him treats and toys. I played with his toys by myself then tossed them to him. Nothing. I talked to him and sang to him. Nothing. I left raw meat around the house. Nothing. I left the cottage door open and left bacon just inside. I pretended that I didn't see him come and eat it. The first time he did that, I was so excited. I left him bacon strips every morning and he ate it while I got ready for the day. He kept his distance and just stared at me. I kept talking to him and once he cocked his head to the side like he couldn't understand what I was saying. I was wondering why he couldn't understand basic commands he was supposed to know when a light bulb went off over my head. He was probably trained in German. Why the heck didn't Jack tell me that? I shake my head. That night I did a little research and found that most military dogs are born and initially trained in Germany. I look up a few commands and try them out. He didn't do the command but he didn't give me the 'what are you saying' look. As cute as that is, I don't want him to be any more confused by his new situation than he already is.

The ice breaker happened a week later. I was talking to my grandmother and she gave me really bad news. Rex died. I was crushed. I know he lived a full life and my grandmother took really good care of him for me but I couldn't think about that. All I could think about was that he was with me since Dickie. He was my Rex. I cried my eyes out. I was so upset that Lex had heard me all the way from the house. He left the porch area and scratched at my door. I was startled enough to hear him and went to see what the noise was. Through my sobs, I saw that he was there and I opened the door. I dropped to the floor and Lex laid his head on my lap. My tears fell on his fur and I wiped them away. He just stayed there with me while I cried. That was probably the deciding factor because after that night, Lex and I have had this incredibly strong bond. He sits with me while I read and lets me scratch his ears and around his collar. I figured out how he likes to play and we do that in the evenings. When the weather gets cooler, I'll be able to play with him during the afternoon. Right now, it's still too hot. He has an awful lot of fur to deal with. I'm able to brush him and pretty much do anything to him. He trusts me completely.

I take him on walks with me and if we see another dog, he just ignores them. If the other dog gets in his face, I make him sit and stay until I get the other owner to control their dog. I know Lex could do real damage to most dogs but his training kicks in and he listens to me without fail. I roll my eyes at some of the dog owners. They think that just because Lex is bigger that he's the bully. I must say that I have found in a lot of cases, the smaller the dog, the bigger the attitude. One issue that I keep a watch out for is when Lex thinks I'm in trouble. He goes on alert. That's what I call it. He makes a low throaty growl, becomes hyper focused and is ready to spring into action. I stopped petting other dogs so he wouldn't get stressed. I would pity the person who tried to mess with me with Lex around.

Lex helped pull me out of my depression. I still get sad every so often at everything that has happened but I'm starting to get really excited to meet this little one. I feel her move around, mostly at night and she gets hiccups a lot. I've gained a little over what I should have at this point and my glucose stress test is in a few weeks so I try not to worry about that. I don't know what I would do if I had to give up my Tastykakes.

I look down at my hands. They are a bit swollen and I should ask about it at my next visit. I'm glad I bought my ring a size bigger than usual. I decided to get a plain silver wedding band. I wanted to wear it out in public to ward off any would-be suitors. I have no desire to share my life with a man. Not anymore.

Grandma told me that she has a bus trip to Atlantic City scheduled for the second Saturday in December. I'll be really pregnant by then so I'm not sure if I'll be able to go up and meet her. I would love to see her but since I am due Dec 31st, I'll be 37 weeks on Dec 10th. That's cutting it close. If I can't go meet her then I'll see if I can get her to come to me. We'll have to wait and see.