Carla's Birthday: The aftermath (From chapter 3x10: Diane's Allergy)

[Cheers]

(It is late in the evening. Carla and Diane are waitressing and Sam and Coach are behind the bar. As Carla walks to the pool room, Cliff and some bar patrons start laughing. In her back, the words "I am horny as a hoot owl" can be read on her sweater)

Carla: What's so funny?

Cliff: Nothing, nothing...

(Diane, walking to the bar after having served some customers near the entrance, looks at Carla and is surprised, outraged)

Diane: (Angry) Who did this?!

Sam: Cliff.

(Diane glares at Cliff, leaves the tray on the bar and runs over to Carla)

Carla: (In the back, angry) What?! (Walks out angrily and looks at Cliff) Filthy rat! You'll pay for this! (Jumps on him to beat him up, but Norm stops her)

Norm: I understand how you feel. But before you go any further, I want you to know that Sam, Coach and I had nothing to do with that. That's why we kicked him out of the bar yesterday.

Diane: Come on, Carla, I'll take you home so you can change.

(Carla looks angrily at Cliff and goes to Diane)

Diane: (To Sam) We'll be right back.

Sam: (Looks at Cliff, annoyed) Great, now Carla is angry and I'm out of waitresses because of you. If you don't give a good tip to her as an apology and another to Diane for having to waste gas because of your stupid idea, that beer you're drinking is going to come with a fine.

Customer: A vodka rock for me and a gin and tonic for my friend.

Sam: Coming right up.

(...)

Carla: (Moody) We're back.

Sam: Did you burn the sweater?

Carla: Are you kidding? It's perfect for a second or third date, (angry) but it's disgusting that worm Clifford didn't warn me about this from the beginning and let me wear it to work.

Cliff: At least you'll use it for something.

Carla: (Angry) Make sure you get me a good gift next year, because if you don't, what I'm going to use is your face.

(...)

(It is night time and only Sam, Carla, Diane and Coach are left)

Coach: Shall I drive you home, Carla?

Carla: Thanks, Coach.

Sam: Shall we go too, Diane?

Coach: If we all go together, won't it take too long?

(Sam and Diane laugh)

Sam: No, Coach, I meant leaving the bar at the same time. You in your car with Carla, me in my car and Diane in hers.

Coach: Ah!

Diane: Sam, would you mind giving me a ride today? I'm not feeling very well and I don't want to take the car like this.

Sam: Sure, no problem.

Diane: Thank you. Just give me a minute. I have to go to the toilet first. (Enters)

Sam: (To Carla and Coach) You guys go ahead.

Carla: Okay, see you tomorrow.

Sam: Good night.

(Coach and Carla leave)

Diane: (Comes out of the restroom) Sam, can I talk to you for a minute?

Sam: (Startles and pales a little) Wait, you're not expecting Frasier's child, are you?

Diane: (Startles at the question) What?!

Sam: (Somewhat scared) You said you weren't feeling well. And it can't be mine. It's been almost year since the last time we did it.

Diane: (Stares at him) Sam, I'm not sick, let alone pregnant. What I said before was just an excuse so we could be alone together.

(Sam is surprised to hear her say that and smiles)

Sam: (Flirting) You've finally decided to be honest with your feelings?

Diane: (Looks at him and smiles) No. It's about Carla. I think we should surprise her with some gifts. The poor thing hasn't had a single heartfelt token of affection from us.

Sam: Isn't it a bit late for that?

Diane: Better late than never. I have an idea. Tomorrow is her day off. Tell her I'm sick and you need her to come cover for me. Then we'll all surprise her with gifts and then you'll give her the day off.

Sam: And what gifts do you think we should get her?

Diane: I had concert tickets for her. I was going to give them to her today, but I changed my purse at the last minute and I left them at home. I also made Frasier buy her a blouse similar to the one she stained the other day. I actually felt bad when I saw the wine drip. You, Coach and Norman can buy her a shirt and some earrings to make up for the tacky sweater and I'll tell Clifford to take care of her kids while you guys go to the concert.

Sam: (Surprised) You want me to go with Carla?

Diane: (Smiles) What better companion could she have?

(...)

(In the afternoon, Norm and Cliff are at their usual barstools drinking beer and there's no one behind the bar)

Carla: (Enters angrily) That damn Diane! She couldn't pick any other day to get sick! It had to be on my day off! (Confused) Huh? Where are Sam and Coach?

(Sam, Coach, Diane and Frasier come out of Sam's office with gifts)

All: Surprise!

Carla: (Very surprised) What?

Sam: It was Diane's idea.

Diane: I'm sorry. When I saw no one had given you a serious gift I felt bad and I talked to Sam and Frasier to see how we could fix it.

(Carla looks at her in surprise)

Frasier: (Gives her a gift) Here, to apologize for the other day.

Carla: (Opens the gift and is surprised) A blouse! Thank you! At least this makes up for the one I stained because of your stupid joke.

Coach: (Gives her a gift) Here, this is from me and Normie.

Carla: (Opens it and is surprised) A T-shirt! And it's like the ones I usually wear! Thank you guys!

Sam: (Takes a small package out of his pocket and gives it to her) This is for you to wear with the shirt. Or right now.

Carla: (Takes it, opens it and is surprised) Elvis earrings! (Happy and smiling) I love them!

Diane: (Gives her an envelope) Here. I was going to give it to you yesterday but I left them at home.

Carla: (Takes it, opens it and is surprised) Tickets for a concert! (Surprised) Are they for tonight? I don't have anyone to go with...

Diane: (Pointing to Sam) I wouldn't say that.

Carla: (Surprised, she smiles, but, realizing she will come home late, her smile fades) Wait, what am I going to do with the kids? I don't have a babysitter.

Diane: I've already talked to Clifford. He'll take care of them until you arrive. It's to make up for his bad behavior the other day.

Carla: (Smiles) Thank you. I know I usually make lots of nasty comments about you, but I'm happy you're doing something nice for me.

Diane: (Smiles) Well, birthdays are only once a year, and we all deserve to be treated with love and respect. Enjoy the concert (smiles).

Carla: Thank you (smiles).

(Sam holds the door and he and Carla leave)

Coach: That was a nice gesture, Diane. But... (Confused) If birthdays are only once a year, how come my daughter gives me gifts twice a year?

Diane: What days has your daughter given you something?

Coach: February 12 and June 16? 17?

Diane: (Smiles) Coach, the third Sunday of June is Father's Day.

Coach: What about February 12?

Diane: (Laughs) That's your birthday.

Coach: Aaah... I guess that explains it.

(Diane, Cliff and Norm smile)