*Author's note: You might want to read my story "She Knew," otherwise this story might not make sense.

Chapter 1 Regrets

Arizona Territory

Returning from a couple of days in jail, Mike Yardner sat at the kitchen table in her small ranch house. A plate of son of a gun stew sat in front of her and another plate was sitting where Dan once sat. Mike purposefully set a place for Dan, even though she knew he would not be returning. She had been surprised that he knew what son of a gun stew was. That was why she had made it. It made her feel close to him.

It had been a week since Dan had left her house. Mike did not care that Dan was actually Matt Dillon, Marshal of Dodge City, Kansas. To her, he would always be Dan. Dan is the only way Mike knew him. She did not know him as Matt Dillon. He would still be Dan and here with her, if his wife and friends had not shown up.

She despised all three of them. Why did they have to show up? Things were going so well. Had they not shown up, Dan would still be here with her. Mike was certain she was starting to get Dan to change his mind about staying. She was certain that with a little more time Dan would have chosen to stay with her. Yes, she despised all three of them, but she despised his wife the most.

His wife, just thinking about her made Mike feel physically ill. Her name was Kitty. What kind of woman has the name Kitty? She could imagine the type of woman that had that name. However, after seeing Kitty and how sophisticated she was dressed, Mike did not think Kitty was the kind of woman she was thinking of. In regards to Kitty's name, Mike had to stop her line of thinking right there. Most people would probably ask what kind of woman had the name Mike. Both of their names were not common names for a woman, especially hers, but Mike was not going to focus on that.

Her focus was that there should not be a Kitty Dillon. There should be a Mike Dillon. Well, maybe not right away, but there would have been someday, hopefully sooner than later. Wait. A thought suddenly came to Mike. How could there have been a Mike Dillon? Mike had no idea that Dan was Matt Dillon. She gave him the name Dan, but he had no last name. If they would have gotten married, she knew he wouldn't have taken Yardner as his last name. A man did not take the woman's last name. They would have had to come up with a last name for him. Mike told him that he entered the lion's den. Maybe Lionel would have been a good last name. Dan and Mike Lionel. Mike liked the way that sounded.

Mike let her mind wander back to Kitty. She wondered what kind of wife she was to Matt Dillon. Mike wondered what kind of marriage the two of them had. As far as she was concerned, the marriage could not have been that great. If it was a great marriage filled with happiness and love, they would have worn their wedding rings on their fingers, not on chains around their necks. Hiding their rings meant they were hiding their marriage. Nobody that was proud of their marriage hid it. Yes, Matt seemed to be happy when he recognized Kitty. But was he sincerely happy? Did Kitty make him happy? Did he regret marrying her? Mike wondered if she would ever have the answers to these questions.

Mike realized that she had been pondering long enough that both hers and Dan's stew had gotten cold. She took both plates and scraped the stew back into the pot to reheat it. Mike was hungry and knew Dan would have been too. She was hungry, but not hungry enough to eat cold stew. Besides, son of a gun stew tasted much better when it was warm. After reheating the stew, Mike scooped the stew on both plates and returned to the table. She placed a plate at her spot and one where Dan used to sit. She looked at that spot, thinking of what should have and could have been. Not wanting her stew to get cold for a second time, Mike began to eat it. When she was finished, Mike put the leftovers away and cleaned up. She would eat the leftovers over the next few days. Mike Yardner did not waste, especially food.

Later that night, Mike was getting ready for bed. She opened up her armoire and saw some of her dresses and skirts hanging in there. Mike had not worn those articles of clothing since her husband Johnny had died. She just did not see the point of wearing them anymore. When she did wear them, she wore them for her husband. Mike wanted to look nice for him. He was her husband and dressing to impress him was one way that Mike showed that she loved him.

Once he passed on, Mike knew she would have to run the ranch on her own. Johnny was so proud of that land, and Mike did not want to disappoint him. Dresses and skirts were not something you wore when you ran a ranch. That's when Mike decided to start buying and wearing pants and everyday shirts, nothing fancy. Working a ranch was much easier in pants and a simple shirt. Mike had to admit that pants seemed to be more comfortable.

Mike thought about what she had been wearing the entire time Dan was with her. She wore an old pair of pants and her favorite light blue shirt. The shirt itself had dirt stains on the shoulders. Maybe she should have put on her dresses and skirts while Dan was with her. Could it be that Dan did not see her as a true lady? Was he intimidated by the way she dressed? Mike did not know how he could be intimidated. Dan was a big man, and Mike could not imagine him being intimidated too easily.

Mike's mind went back to what Kitty had been wearing. She had on a very fancy and sophisticated dress, fancier and more sophisticated than Mike had ever owned. She may not have ever had dresses like that, but she still had dresses. Now she was wishing she had worn those dresses while Dan was here. Looking back, it was quite possible that seeing her in those dresses would have changed how Dan felt about staying.

Dwelling on what she could have worn was not going to change anything. Mike knew she could not change the past. However, the future had yet to take place, and Mike could take control of what happened to her future.

Mike Yardner had regrets. She regretted not making a move on Dan sooner. She regretted the day people from Dan's past showed up. She regretted the day Dan got his memory back.

Mike had slipped on her cotton nightgown and crawled into bed. She decided that she had fallen in love with Dan and enjoyed the past she had created with him. Now she wanted to focus on a future with him. There would be no more regrets.

TBC