Wanted to do a Guilty Gear story for a while, it ended up being this fun little thing.

Brought to you through the power of procrastination :))

Crossposted on AO3.

Ramlethal cocked her head to the side curiously. "Is something the matter?"

"A-Ah, no..! Not at all..!" The woman hurriedly answered, her eyes nervously flitting to a space over Ram's left shoulder. "Is that all you need..?"

With a nod of confirmation, the Valentine raised her right hand outward. A thin sheet of metal-rimmed glass blipped into existence within her palm, which she grasped and proudly displayed to the unsettled woman.

"I have received permission to acquire these groceries with credit!" She announced, fierce determination rife across her dark-skinned features.

"R-Right..!" The clerk displayed a crooked smile as she fumbled to press an icon on her display. A glyph sprung up on Ram's side of the desk. "Please scan here..!"

With a brief glance from the glyph, to the credit shard in her hand, then back to the glyph, Ram lowered it down above the marking. Her small nose scrunched as she watched the glyph transpose onto the glass, spiralling and intersecting with one the card produced itself. They finally interlinked and a shrill ping sounded. Ram's brow rose as she let out a small gasp.

"This means it is done?" She queried, looking back up at the clerk.

"…Yes!" The woman confirmed stiffly, not hesitating to thrust the packed bag of groceries over to Ram. "Thanks for your patronage..?"

Ram nodded in turn and took the bag by the string handles. She turned to her left and looked up at the floating, winged head that had been floating behind her. With his sole, unstitched eye, the familiar regarded his Master questioningly, until she held up the bag to him expectantly.

"…What?" He asked flatly, his wide maw clacking open entirely to utter the single word.

"Hold the bag for me, Lucifero." Ram instructed, raising the groceries higher.

"Why-mmmpfh!?" He began to protest, only for Ram to shove the handles of the bag into his mouth the moment he opened it.

"We are blocking other customers. I do not wish to make a scene." Ram said simply as she began to walk towards the exit of the supermart, Lucifero grumpily following in her wake.

Stepping out through the sliding doors, Ram readjusted the baggy turtleneck of her oversized white woollen jumper - selected by her more fashion inclined sister - as she braced against the chill autumn air. She made her way over to a nearby lamppost where a juvenile Labrador was curled up. Sensing her return, it first glanced over then leapt to its feet to bolt towards her, although restricted by its tied leash.

"You always seem overly excited to see me, Romeo. I was merely absent for twenty-three minutes." She observed upon reaching him, dropping to one knee so she could rub his flank and scratch behind his ears. The corners of her lips curved upwards at the sight of the pup trying to twist his neck to try and lap at the hand on his head. "Not that I quarry with this."

With the bag still hanging from his mouth, Lucifero dejectedly watched his Master tussle Romeo's ears. "…Why am I doing this?"

"'A true gentleman is always ready to go whenever he is needed', is what you told me." Ram quoted as she stood from untying Romeo's leash, turning to her retainer. "You are needed."

"Well, yeah but…" His head bobbed side-to-side, bag swinging like a pendulum below him. "I meant 'go', y'know? Go, like, go go…"

Ignoring Lucifero's grumblings, Ram turned to begin her return to the carriage that had transported her to the centre of the city. Romeo happily followed at her heel and, after having taken a moment to mope to himself, Lucifero was at her shoulder yet again.

The day had been a success. All by herself, Ram had acquired all the needed ingredients for the meal Dizzy had been hoping to cook for them all. Despite Ky's insistence that they have their dedicated staff go about shopping on their behalf or simply have anything they need brought to the castle, Ram had felt it a necessary task to complete in order to further understand humans. The carriage was a part of that goal - both Dizzy and Elphelt had been adamant that she take the trip as an ordinary person, rather than fly as she usually would. It did, however, allow her to walk Romeo at the same time, something she only usually was able to do around the castle grounds.

All in all: the journey, the walking, browsing countless aisles of goods - she believed she'd attained an accurate experience of the average human grocery run.

"This is all rather mundane." She mused aloud, looking up to Lucifero. "Don't you think?"

"Huh?" Her familiar glanced down to her quizzically, then scanned the civilians around them. Plenty were gawking in their direction. "Well, yeah. You bought food. What did you expect?"

"I'm not sure." Ram admitted. "If it is so mundane, why do humans go about it so often? Why not have it brought to them like Ky?"

"Well, most humans don't got that kind of luxury, do they?" Lucifero explained. "Besides, mundane is what most humans are, y'know. They just exist."

Ram brought a crooked finger to her chin, pondering her familiar's words. "In a way, is it not peaceful?" Receiving a questioning look, she continued. "There is no war. G4 was, eventually, a success and we are in a new era of peace. They are living their lives, only having to worry whether their grapes will be sour or sweet; whether they should make bolognese or ratatouille." She nodded. "It is mundane, but peacef- hmm?"

Along with her thoughts, Ram came to a stop - abruptly enough for Lucifero to be forced to swerve to avoid clipping her head.

"Woah! Why're ya stoppin'!? You nearly made me drop the goods!" His complaints fell on deaf ears. Ram's attention was wholly focused on something else entirely.

There it was. It was unmistakable. The image from the bag was right there in front of her, displayed in physical form aloft atop a pillar of stainless metal.

"Lucifero!" Ram called her familiar's name with urgency, pointing towards the point of interest. "We must make a detour!"

With that, she set off down a street adjacent to their route to the carriage. Taking swift, purposeful strides, she pulled Romeo along without waiting to see if Lucifero was following. He soon caught up, alarmed by her serious tone.

"Wh-What's up? What have you seen?" Spinning his floating body 360 degrees, bag flailing as he did so, he hurried to assess the area. "An enem-? Oh…" His concern drained away faster than it had arrived when his eye locked onto the location his Master was storming toward. "…You want- you want a..?"

"Yes!" Ram confirmed with gusto, not tearing her eyes away from the Danny Missiles logo that framed one of the many fronts that lined the avenue. "I must buy a burger!"

"B-B-But you just bought ingredients for dinner!" Lucifero protested.

"I have never purchased a burger for myself. Sin has always ordered for me." She said truthfully. "I believe doing so will impress him; El may even offer praise… Ah!" Once again Lucifero narrowly missed colliding with the back of Ram's head after she suddenly halted not twenty metres from the entrance to the establishment. She shot a serious frown up to her familiar. "…Should I buy some for everyone?"

Lucifero looked at her blankly. "No. You just bought dinner."

"Sin always has the Super Mega Joy meal; he likes the toy that comes with it." Her finger returned to her chin in another bout of deliberation . "El would likely just want one of the desserts, Dizzy would want the Veggie Deluxe Supreme, Ky…" She furrowed her brow. "…I'll consult the menu…"

"For the last time, dinner's already planned! Dizzy's making Boeff Bourguigno-mmfph!?" Lucifero's lecture was cut short when Romeo's lead was shoved into his mouth alongside the groceries. Stunned, he followed the lead down to the dog it was attached to, then shot an accusatory glare to his Master.

"Be a gentleman while I buy the burgers." Ram instructed coolly.

"Why ahm I holfing the dohg..?" He asked tiredly, enough now in his wide maw to impair his speech.

"Due to a thing known as 'allergies', I believe there is risk in bringing Romeo into a place of dining." Ram crossed her arms matter-of-factly. "And in hindsight, your presence may have been unnerving to the humans in the supermart. So you may watch Romeo."

"I may?" Lucifero rolled his eye. "You're too kind."

"I won't be long." With a fist-pump of determination, Ram turned on her heel and set off to enter the diner.

Resigned to his role, Lucifero watched her disappear through the rotating doors and sighed. Quickly tuning out the points and stares of the passersby, he looked back to Romeo to find the labrador watching him attentively. He took in the dog's features: sharp-toothed jaw and raised, binocular eyes, and frowned.

"…Terrifthying creathure…" He muttered with discomfort, only for Romeo to cluelessly cock his head to the side, tail wagging aimlessly.

It was twenty long minutes until Ram returned, cradling a brown paper bag the size of her torso in her arms. As she approached, a look of bewilderment was evident across her face; her chest heaving.

"Uh…" Lucifero observed her state with confusion. "You ohay?"

"…Never have I met more soulless individuals than those within…" After a few more deep breaths, Ram cleared her throat, regained most of her composure and flashed a victorious yet wavering look. "R-Regardless, I have purchased Danny Missiles..!"

"Great… Hm?" On seeing Ram signal with a hand to come closer, he obeyed, floating down to be level with her face. "What?"

Ram only answered by hoisting the bag of fast food to rest atop his head, letting it rest once she was sure it was well balanced. "Please do not drop it."

"…Can we go?" He requested - nigh pleaded - with his eccentric Master.

Ram nodded as she retook Romeo's lead from her familiar's mouth. "We can go- ah!"

Lucifero sighed at Ram's third exclamation. "What..?"

"I didn't get anything for Romeo…" She mumbled mournfully, dejectedly looking down at her pet.

"Good, he woulda gotten sick!" Her familiar remarked in return. "I saw a pet shop on the way from our ride. Stop by there."

"Mm. Alright."

The outlandish trio turned back to rejoin the main path, finally returning to their original objective of reconvening with their chauffeur.

"I hope everyone enjoys the treat I bought for them."

"…You're using Ky's money."

"El once told me that it is the sentiment that's important."

"Uhuh…"