Varian and Quirian finally get a chance to talk and Varian gets some answers and some more questions. The ditty is mine. And yes, Crystal, I will consider requests and thanks for your review. This song reminds me so much of Quirian.
And when the sky begins to clear
And the sun it melts away my fear
I'll cry a silent weary tear
For those that need to love me
And I am ready for the storm
-Dougie Maclean
Chapter Three: Ready For the Storm
Varian lay facedown in his bed. He knew he deserved it. He wasn't being executed. He was more pitied than feared. His father had appeased the king brilliantly, and Varian had gotten off with a common punishment given to very naughty children at the village school, instead of ending his life on a gibbet.
Still, the caning had been humiliating and painful. He had six welts that ached with misery. But that wasn't what hurt.
Dad had seemed so cold and cruel to him. Had the amber hardened his heart? No, Dad had argued so well for his life. He was just disappointed beyond lack of attention felt like a whole new punishment. Instead of comforting him like he always did after a spanking, Dad had locked him inside with the food and told him there were guards posted nearby. "I have work to do."
Happily, Ruddiger's paws caressed his hair. "I really screwed up this time," he whispered. "I'm sorry." He had hurt his best friend. "Thank you for staying with me. I was scared I'd never see you again." "Ruddiger chirped soothingly. "Dad is never going to forgive me. He's going to lock me up and never let me do alchemy again."
Ruddiger chittered sadly. "Maybe I deserve that. After all that I did, I'm a monster," he whispered. "I'm glad Mom didn't live to see what a failure I was. I never told you about Mom, right?" Varian asked, stroking his fur.
His pet chirped in question. Varian never talked about Mom to anyone. It made his father too sad. "I don't remember much. I only have one clear memory. We were in a lab, and she was holding me close. I was only a baby, She sang me a song, against the bubbling and the tinkering. It was the most beautiful sound."
He hummed to himself the song he remembered like his own heartbeat.
"I promise you, I'll love you till the stars fall out of the sky
I promise you, I'll love you till the seas and rivers go dry
I promise you, I'll love you till the sun goes dark, and still
I promise you, no matter what, I promise you I will"
"That's why you always keep your promises."
Ruddiger chirped sweetly. Varian sighed and hummed to himself the song. He wished he remembered more. He imagined himself safe and warm in his mother's arms, a beautiful lab waiting for them both. He imagined her holding him close and singing to him and everything being all right. His father would be proud of him. Rudigger on his shoulder, eating contently. They'd be happy. It was a vision of what he wanted most, and what would never be.
Lost in his dreams, he must have fallen asleep because he realized Father was sitting by his side. "Varian?" he asked quietly. "Are you up?"
"Yes sir," Varian whispered.
"You didn't sleep well."
"No," Varian confessed.
"Then you needed your rest. It's close to lunch. You didn't eat your breakfast. I warmed it up for you over the fire."
"Not hungry," Varian mumbled. He just wanted to go back to his dreams. Ruggiger whined nervously, patting his head in warning.
"You will get yourself out of bed and eat," Dad urged. "Then we can talk."
"I said I'm not hungry! Go away!" Varian snapped, before wishing he had stayed silent. He had forgotten that his father was not a man to be trifled with and that his enormous size and strength made him quite formidable. It had been six months since they had spent time together. Before he could blink, he was over his father's knee. Being so small, he dangled there like a child half his age. "No, please!" he begged.
Dad may have been encased in amber, but he had not lost his edge. A sharp swat had Varian bawling. His throbbing backside rose back to an inferno of pain. "You will speak respectfully," Dad snapped. "You are under my authority and you will behave."
"Yes, sir," Varian pleaded, burying his head in his hands. "I'm sorry!" Four more sharp swats in quick succession had him in agony. It wasn't even hard smacks but given how sore he was, a feather would have felt like a tawse.
Finally, his father stopped and Varian was allowed to calm down. Facedown over his father's knees, he was aware he was still in the hot seat and his seat could get a lot harder. He just wished he could run away again with his beloved raccoon.
"For a smart boy, you clearly have some blind spots in your learning. So let's see if you understand. What will happen now every time you disobey me?" Dad finally asked.
"You will punish me." Varian was resigned to it now.
"Exactly. You will be locked in your room, and only let out to do extra chores. You will copy lines. And you'll do them all while preferring to be standing. Now, you are going to sit at the table and eat or I'll convince you some more."
"Yes sir," Varian whispered, completely broken.
Dad helped Varian up and led him over to the table. Varian gingerly sat down, wincing at the feel of the hard chair. His choice was a warmed-up porridge or a warmed-up backside, so he chose the meal. It was strawberry porridge, so it was surprisingly good. He ate dutifully, enjoying the silence. He knew it would soon be broken with recriminations. Dad just stared at him with a strange look on his face. It wasn't a pleasant one. Ruddiger had worriedly climbed onto his shoulder and was purring gently.
He tried to drag out the food, but eventually, the bowl was empty. When he finished, he just stared down at the plate. "May I go back to bed now?" he asked.
"No, we need to talk. Have you anything to say for yourself?"
"No." Varian's head was at his chest.
His father took his chin and forced him to look up at him. His eyes were so cold and terrifying. "I have much to say. You shamed me, son. Your actions were unforgivable. You committed treason."
"I know." He didn't want to cry anymore. All he had done was cry. Cry and fail everyone.
"No, you don't know. If I hadn't successfully pleaded your case, you would be in the dungeons, awaiting your day on the gallows. As light as you are, you would have slowly choked to death. Maybe the king would have been kind and given you a swift beheading."
Varian shivered. He wasn't sure which part hurt more. "I had nightmares about it all night. Nightmares about being executed. Nightmares about you being encased."
"I heard you crying about it in your sleep." Dad sighed. "You're better than this. You always caused mischief but this?"
"I'm sorry," Varian whispered. "I only wanted to save you."
"By kidnapping the queen and attacking the kingdom? Is that really what you thought I would want?" Dad demanded.
"I didn't think. I just needed to help you, at whatever cost. It was my fault you were encased! I should have been encased, not you. You saved me and I don't deserve it," Varian babbled. "No one would help me. No one cared. I had to make them hear me."
He felt his father's hand on his shoulder. "I would gladly give my life for you, Son. I love you and I was happy to sacrifice for you," he whispered. "You are all that is left of your mother."
"I wish I had died and she lived," Varian said softly. "I failed you."
At that, Dad grabbed Varian into a hug. "Don't ever say that. I can't lose you. While it doesn't excuse your actions, you did it to save me. You were so alone. I trusted the townspeople or King Frederic to care for you if something happened to me. To hear you were homeless and abandoned..." he broke off. "You aren't the only one who felt betrayed."
"Everyone believed I attacked Rap...the princess. I didn't. You can ask her yourself. But I was still chased out of town. I lived in the forest with Ruddiger. It was so cold, I had to live in caves on roots and berries. I learned not to be hungry," Varian explained. "I couldn't ask anyone for help. I had no friends and everyone became my enemy."
"Son, I'm sorry. You're so young and I didn't take the time to be more of a guide."
"You are the best dad. I'm just a bad kid." Varian said, completely broken by the affection he didn't feel he deserve.
"I'm disappointed, but you are still my incredible son. I love you. I know I was harsh but I had to turn their image of you into a pathetic child, so you wouldn't be seen as a threat. I had to seem harsh enough for them to be satisfied. It was the only way."
"I know. I figured that out," Varian whispered, grateful. "I know you saved my life."
"You're my precious son. I have to protect you. King Frederic and Queen Arianna have allowed us to remain here for a while. Since I have no other duties, I will give you the attention you deserve now. I see you need it."
"By attention, you mean spending time in my lab?" Varian asked, his backside twinging.
"Among other things. I will guide you to be a proper young man. If I have to tan your hide every week so you don't get into trouble, so be it."
"But you won't be, right?" Varian was liking more time with his dad, but not liking the admittedly well-deserved sword...well...cane...hanging over his head.
"I hope not, but I know you can't resist mischief and I will have to come down on you for it. Please keep it to mild boyish pranks. There won't be second chances."
"I know. I just lost my mind," Varian whispered.
"You were scared and desperate. But the next time you face such a dark place, don't let it overcome you," Dad said. "I know from experience how terrible that place can be."
Varian chose not to ask. Today had been hard enough. "So, what happens now?" he asks.
"I spoke to the King and Queen. The kingdom still needs to stop the Black Rocks and your skills will be needed."
Varian nodded. "And we'll save the day, together."
"We need to. But today, I think you've been through enough. Maybe ask for a cool bath to be drawn. It helps a lot. Speaking from personal experience," Dad said, and for the first time in years, he smiled and winked.
"You got caned?" Now Varian chose to ask. His perfect law-abiding father got into trouble?
"Yes, when I was around your age. Another life, another time, another day," Dad said. "Trust me, someday, you'll know everything."
That seemed fair enough. Varian just stayed in his father's warm embrace and decided that maybe, his life wasn't over. He hummed to himself quietly, the song. As he did, he heard his father's gruff voice.
"I promise you, I'll love you till the stars fall out of the sky
I promise you, I'll love you till the seas and rivers go dry
I promise you, I'll love you till the sun goes dark, and still
I promise you, no matter what, I promise you I will"
Varian looked up and saw the tears in his father's eyes. "It was the song I wrote for your mother," he said gently. "We sang it to you every night before you went to sleep. I can't believe you remember it."
"Another time, another day, can you tell me about her?" Varian asked.
"I told you when you are ready. Trust me, someday, you'll know everything."
Varian decided to just accept being a child for a while longer.
Not sure if I should end it here or continue.