Peeta didn't think that he had too many fears. He had already overcome the one about Katniss killing him. (Not an easy task to undertake, but one that Peeta accomplished.) Now he was still facing the fear of Katniss leaving him. While there wasn't an easy solution to this one, Peeta wasn't sure how best to address it.
Thankfully, Katniss was good at adapting to his needs. After their talk about staying, Katniss had taken to leaving notes around the house they were sharing.
"Off hunting," would say sitting on the kitchen table.
"Went to force Haymitch to be sober," would be next to the bathroom sink.
"Visiting my mom for the day," would be taped to the inside of the front door.
Katniss was good about leaving notes when she left Peeta alone. And, Peeta loved it.
His hopes, his fears, his dreams - they all boiled down to Katniss. She was writing in the living room when Peeta went to find her.
"How is the book coming along?" Peeta asked. He knew it was still a slightly contentious issue. Katniss refused to leave out the other victims of the hunger games. But she hadn't been able to track down imagery yet.
"It's coming along. I'll feel better once I've got the historical elements done." Katniss said. She actually read the situation right and didn't bring up the imagery. But Peeta wasn't willing to skirt around the issue anymore.
"I was thinking about the images of the victims," Peeta started. Katniss looked up at him then.
"We may not have any still photos of all of them to include, but we can pull from older videos," Peeta said.
"Peeta, we don't have to talk about this right now," Katniss said.
"You're still trying to protect me. Real or not real?" Peeta couldn't stop himself from asking.
Katniss sighed. "Real. We protect each other - that's what we do."
"Well, I don't need protection this time." Peeta was gripping the back of a chair tightly. But he was fully in control.
Katniss just stared at him.
"I think I have a solution. While the older videos are a little grainy and won't work to pull pictures from. I can still watch them, and I can paint their images. It may not be perfect, but they'll still be represented in the book - as they should be." Peeta hastened to add that last part.
Katniss' eyes were shining at him again. She had a small smile on her face. If he hadn't been loving her for quite some time, he might have missed it.
"How long do you think that you'll stay here? With me?" Katniss asked out of the blue when they were both sitting on the sofa in the living room.
Katniss was reviewing her notes for the book. Peeta was running through old film from the previous games. He paused the current video and turned to face her.
She may not have been looking at him. But Peeta wasn't going to let this go.
"Are we gonna do this?" Peeta asked. He turned his whole body to face her. Katniss tensed a little.
"I'd like to talk about it." She said.
"Okay, let me get the chair," Peeta said. He walked over to the dining room table and grabbed a wooden chair. Setting the chair on the floor in front of him. He gripped the back of it.
This wasn't a random decision. Katniss and Peeta had found that when his hands were holding the back of the chair Peeta calmed down and was ready for more serious conversations.
(Katniss tried very hard not to think about how Peeta must have grabbed the back of his chair while he was hijacked. Sometimes it even worked.)
"Katniss, I'd like to say a few things. Can you let me talk for a bit until I get everything out?" Peeta asked.
Katniss gave a nod and tried not to grab something to hold onto for herself.
"I think it's best if we both stay here. We have a good life. After we finish the book, I'd like us to stay, stay, stay. My memories aren't perfect, but I've got a handle on them. You're … you're good for me. I just like hanging out with you. All the time. You haven't left. Whenever you step out, you leave notes. You know everything about me. And, it's been occurring to me," Peeta paused to take a breath. He actually let go of the chair. "I think that I'd like to hang out with you for my whole life. You know that I've been loving you for quite some time. And, I'm starting to think that I'm ready for my last question of real or not real for you. Do you think you can trust me to make that decision?" Peeta asked.
He walked back over to the sofa and sat down next to her. He picked up her hands to hold in his.
Katniss nodded again. She didn't yet trust herself to speak.
"I think that it's best if we both stay. While I don't believe that anyone else would love me when I get mad, I'm not sure that I'd let anyone else even try. So, for the last time. You love me. Real or not real?" Peeta asked.
"Real." Katniss said.
A/N Okay so if you haven't realized this is Stay Stay Stay (Taylor's Version), remixed for Katniss and Peeta. I'm not sure that I've worked all the lyrics in, but I tried my darnedest to do it.