Sue Daviz looked sadly at the note Harry had sent her, informing her of her brother being murdered. Dumbledore would pay!
Dumbledore was in his office strutting his stuff, when his door was blasted open, it was Daviz. Daviz wasted no time before grabbing Dumbledore nose and twisting it, ripping the carilage right out.
"You killed him, I kill ya" she roared before Dumbledore was able to slither away theough a hole in the wall. Daviz may have lost track of Dumbledore, but she would still wreck his office!
Dumbledore was able to replace his nose with an old hubcap, due to the fact that the curse of the horcrux ring had robbed him of even more strength, so he could not make himself a silver nose, even with the Elder Wand. Daviz may have taken his nose but he still had his pride. His new hubcap for a nose glistened in the sun.
" I always was a good looking fella" Dumbledore chuckled as he admired his reflection
There were shrieks in the Great Hall when Dumbledore enetered with a hubcap on his face. Dumbledore walked confidently to his throne at the staff table, trying to tickle Snape's chin and ignoring the rest of the staff.
Dumbledore began scanning the minds of the staff, and it appeared they did not like his hubcap nose, oh how they would pay!
Dumbledore stared at Harry with slealey eyes and a promise of doom, before joining Ron and Ginny at the Gryffindor table, rather than the head table, earning many raised eyebrows from the staff.
The doors to the Great Hall burst open, it was Molly, who lunged at Harry. " Young man you ruined our holidays, I am going to teach you respect, and dont even think about running away, now get over here!" she roared as she jumped on the Slytherin table.
Harry sidestepped her and threw a powerful acid curse at her face. Molly roared in agony, while Ron lunged at Harry and Ginny threw a bat boogey hex, both were stopped in their tracks, when Harry shot a banishing charm at them
"Oooo dark magic Riddle, your expelled" shouted Dumbledore triumphantly with a blush appearing on his chin for some reason.
Sue Daviz had heard the commotion in the Great Hall and wanted in on the action. Filch tried to stop her, but she simply twisted his arm until it snapped before doing the same to Filch's neck, Filch was gone. Daviz flipped some tables before coming up to Harry with a wry grin on her face.
" Do you need any more help Harry" she smirked looking at the knocked out Molly, and her melted face.
"Ill be allright" Harry said warmly.
"All right then" Daviz said before apparating out of Hogwarts.
Dumbledore looked at Harry for a second before something clicked in his mind. "Your Harry Potter" he said with a realization of horror, as his status of the owner of Potter Castle could be in jeopardy.
He had an idea! Because the Weasley's were worthless followers of the light, they would be delighted to have the last Potter become a member of their family. Dumbledore would have them unwittingly sign their rights to the Potter fortune away to him, so he could continue living it up at Potter Castle. He and Molly would hook Ginny and Harry up, and set Dumbledore up for prosperity.
" Shit I forgot all about Molly" Dumbledore sqauaked as he looked at Molly's broken form.
Dumbledore knew an old muggle named Gage, who thinks he went to a prestigious university, and majored in engineering, he could help Molly! And perhaps improve her.
"Dumbledore I've been doing a thousand serves a day" he said warmly, trying to impress the unammused headmaster.
Dumbledore's excuse of a face darkened, this tech savy muggle was an awful tennis player.
Three hours later
"I give you Molly 2.0 or Molly X" said Dumbledore wiping a tear from his excuse of a face.
She had two mechanical arms that could morph into rolling pins as well as chainsaws. Her left leg was replaced by a gun and her right leg was a shovel. Her face was constructed of the finest titanium in the country.
She also had two mechanical eyes that could shoot lasers from over 70 kilometers. Finally, Molly was equipped with a built in jetpack to help her achieve speeds of over three hundred miles per hour. She could also breath fire.
After confirming that Molly could hear (afterall she had a built in microphone that could pick up any sound) he told Molly to begin trying to get Harry Potter and Ginny together. The only way he could keep Harry Potter's castle and money is by getting Harry to marry Ginny Weasley, and he loved that castle, it would have to be done!
The next day.
Harry growned when he heard Ginny rolling his way holding a greasy bag in her hand.
"Yoohoo, hey Harry, my mom made muffins, blackberry"! Ginny squelched wheeling up to Harry.
" You can have one for a KISS" she boomed as she burned rubber and started towards Harry. Harry jumped out of the way and took off in a sprint.
Dumbledore was currently taking a piss on the entrance to the Slytherin common room, when he heard running footsteps and the unmistaking sound of Ginny's wheelchair. Dumbledore hoped he could finish his leak before they came, but it was not to be.
Harry was running and looked distressed at seeing the headmaster with his robes over his head, and displaying a full moon to all, while he pissed all over the Slytherin common room entrance.
Ginny chased Harry at over forty miles per hour on her wheelchair. Harry stopped in front of the still pissing headmaster. Harry slid away just in time as Ginny puckered her lips, assuming Harry was cornered, so instead she accidently kissed Dumbledore's arse. Dumbledore fainted.
Meanwhile at the Ministry
Hagrid had been tasked by Dumbledore to stage a protest outside the Ministry, so that Bill Weasley could sneak in and steal a prophecy. Everyone was distracted by Hagrid whom was dancing naked with a knife, while Aurors tried to talk him down.
Unfortunately, Bill was arrested after the prophesy he was trying to steal burned him sevearly.
one week later
After the unfortunate incident with Ginny, Dumbledore remembered he had sent a spy under the imperius curse to try and befriend Harry, and slowly influence the Potter heir with pro light side views.
A pale Romila Vane walked up to Dumbledore, Dumbledore immediatly went on about how great his plan was regarding the Potter estate, but was displeased to not get the praise he was used to from Romilda, so he punched her. When she did not cry out Dumbledore was concerned.
After examination, Dumbledore was shocked to his core, Romilda was an inferi. Obviouslly somebody had taken her out and converted her into the undead. But who? Dumbledore was so mad he smashed a beetle that was crawling at his feet. It would be days later when people would realize Rita Skeeter was missing.