This covers Subaru's life before he enters the Re:Zero world. Before you read, note a few things: Subaru will not have RBD, Emilia will not have her memory loss, and there will be more focus on the character development rather than the central conflicts within cannon Re:Zero.

Subaru Natsuki was coming home from school on a beautiful Friday afternoon. The sun shone brightly, and the sky was a stunning shade of blue, stretching out as far as the eye could see. A light breeze was blowing, carrying with it the sweet scents of spring. The birds chirping and children playing filled the air, adding to the peaceful and serene atmosphere. The temperature was just right, with a comfortable warmth that was not too hot or cold.

I hope dad is proud of me. I scored first in the track meet today for the forty-yard dash.

Subaru opened the door to his house, smelling what could only be described as a delicious dinner his mother was preparing.

Subaru entered the living room and saw his father, "Dad, I scored first in the forty-yard dash!"

Subaru's dad hugged him and smiled, "That's my boy. Next year you'll be starting your first year of high school. Keep it up, and you'll beat my old records!"

Subaru smiled joyfully, "I don't know if I'll beat your old records, dad, but I'll do my best."

A voice echoed in the living room, "Dinner is ready. Hurry, or it'll get cold."

Subaru and his father raced toward the dining room to enjoy the meal. It was a classic Japanese curry with riceballs on the side and Subaru's favorite dressing, mayonnaise.

Subaru dipped the riceballs in the mayonnaise as his father and mother talked. Subaru was particularly hungry that day after completing the track meet.

Subaru's mom noticing Subaru's appetite asked, "I overheard you scored first in your track meet today. I'm proud of you, Subaru, but don't overwork yourself."

Subaru smiled slightly from embarrassment, "It's not that big of a deal, mom. I have to make sure I'm ready for high school. It'll be a lot harder to win next year."

Subaru's dad responded, "That's a good mindset to have, Subaru. Work hard, and you won't fail if there's anything I want, your father, that would be the most important."

Subaru's mom continued, "But no matter what will always be proud of you, Subaru."

Subaru basked in the warm glow of his parents' praise, but a nagging feeling of uncertainty consumed his thoughts. Despite his athletic prowess and academic success, he struggled to connect with others. He felt like he was often on the outside looking in. While he was good at sports and had no trouble achieving good grades, he often felt isolated from his peers. He noticed that many of his friends already had girlfriends, leaving him feeling missing something. This only heightened his desire to understand others and how they perceived him. He longed for a deeper connection that would allow him to connect with those around him genuinely.

It was Subaru's final day in middle school, and Subaru was excited about summer break. He still felt disconnected from everybody, but he did meet and make a friend he thought he had a real connection to.

With curiosity and a smile, Fujino asked, "Hey, Subaru, what are your plans for summer break?"

Subaru thought momentarily before responding, "Going to start focusing on training for basketball."

Fujino was curious about Subaru's change as Subaru told him before he was going to do track in high school.

Fujina questioned, "What made you change your mind? I thought you were going to continue track in high school."

With a brief silence, Subaru responded, "I'm not sure I thought it'd look cooler being good at basketball than track."

Subaru's voice came out louder than usual. To his apparent misfortune, it blurted out of his mouth at the same time as a couple of freshmen passed by the adjacent pavement. They immediately gave him a tirade of weird looks.

Did I say something wrong?

Fujino laughed, "Hey if that motivates you to be the best, that works. If you feel basketball works out for you, it is cooler."

Subaru felt his shoulders relax at Fujino's words.

Curious on his part, Subaru asked, "What are your plans for the summer, Fujino?"

Fujino groaned, "My dad wants me to take a few business trips to Europe and America. He said something about me needing to learn how to network. I don't know what he's trying to imply, though."

Subaru felt both envious and elated at his expense. He knew that his parents owned a massive company in Japan, and he couldn't bring himself to imagine what expectations Fujino's parents had for him.

Subaru continued, "Well, good luck on your trip, bro! Think about joining the basketball team in high school next year. It is fun to have you on the team."

Fujina waved, "I'll see if I have time to practice over the summer. Take care, Subaru."

Subaru returned the wave and smiled, "You too, Fujino."

Subaru spent his summer reading books about both philosophy and psychology. He learned about body language, something he never even realized was something people had.

Subaru read the first book. He learned how body language is more important than anything you say. Body language comprised 60% of communication, the words you told only included 20%, and vocal tonality comprised 20%.

The book explained how a person could read others and alter their body language almost to speak a secret language that only our subconscious minds know. While reading, Subaru realized how he acted before made him seem submissive or desperate for attention or praise. He realized something almost everyone told him was wrong, be yourself. Subaru has always been himself, yet by doing so, Subaru was viewed by everyone as someone who needed others' praise and attention, almost like a parasite. He even saw the relationship between how he relied on his father's praise to make him happy.

Subaru thought if being himself was the reason he always felt like a social outcast, then not being himself would be preferable. He is humble, kind, and respected by the others at his school. He wanted people to respect him, not pity him or be his friend out of sympathy. He wanted to be like Fujino.

Subaru practiced most of the material he read about psychology and began seeing results. He also could read other's not by their words but by their body language: positive and negative responses, posture, and eye-accessing cues. During summer vacation, he would attend social events for those his age and implement the information he learned into how he behaved. At every event or gathering he went to. People gravitated towards him, something Subaru had never experienced but enjoyed immensely. He thought it was the one thing he had never had.

He did not notice something; however, those who already knew how Subaru behaved began to distrust him due to his sudden behavior change. It wasn't a conscious thing they were aware of but a subconscious response that acted as a survival mechanism. Subaru noticed this only in his parents, who began to question if Subaru was doing drugs and assumed he was doing something wrong.

It was Subaru's first day in high school, and he noticed something strange. People that knew him from middle school seemed to distrust and disliked him even more than how they acted toward him in middle school. However, those who did not attend Subaru's middle school admired and respected Subaru.

Fujino, however, was the only exception. Fujino saw Subaru in the halls and waved, "Hey, Subaru, how was your summer?"

Subaru wasn't sure how to act normally. Anyone who knew how he acted before would dislike or distrust him, but Fujino didn't seem bothered.

Subaru smiled and responded confidently, "It was pretty good. How was yours, Fuijino?"

Fujino sighed, "It's a long story, but either it was watching my father negotiate trade deals, or my father explained said trade deals, and they work. In other words, it was exhausting."

Subaru laughed, "Yeah, that does sound hard for me even to imagine. Did you ever get to practice to join the basketball team?"

Fujino smiled in confirmation, "Yeah, I was able to squeeze some time in. Subaru, you seem different. Whatever you did this summer, you seem much confidence in yourself." Fujino then gave Subaru a fist bump.

Subaru was both shocked and relieved. Fujino didn't dislike or distrust him. Even his own parents did now, but Fujino was the only exception.

Subaru thought for a response, "Yeah, I guess I have become more confident in myself. Anyways class is about to start. I'll see you soon."

Fujino waved, "Peace, bro."

Subaru and Fujino both shared a trait unique to them. Both were brilliant for their age. Fujino would inherit massive cooperation, and his life was mainly his father grooming him to be a perfect successor for the gigantic company. On the other hand, Subaru wasn't intelligent in most aspects, only excelling in understanding his own emotions and others, which allowed him to understand and apply psychology so well.

Subaru decided to get his mother a gift hoping that his relationship with his parents would return to how it was before. He decided to get a small chocolate from a small shop. Subaru was broke, but Fujino would often make bets with him in sports and academics, so he had some money saved up.

Subaru turned to the man standing at the stand, "Hi there, I'd like to buy one of those." he said, pointing towards the nicely wrapped chocolate.

The man asked with a grin, "This would make a great gift for whoever is the lucky lady."

Subaru laughed, "I'm getting it for my mother."

The salesman burst out laughing before responding, "My bad, kid. Anyways that'll be 1300 yin."

Subaru removed his wallet from his jean pocket and paid the salesman, "Here you go."

The salesman handed the chocolate to Subaru, "Have a good day, kid. Come back anytime."

Subaru walked home with many thoughts in his head.

I hope things can return to normal with my parents. I had no idea that changing how I behaved so quickly would result in this… my dad no longer even asks about my training or academics. My mother thinks I started doing drugs.

Subaru opened the door hiding his gift behind his back since it didn't fit well in his pocket, and he didn't want the chocolate to melt. He went to the living room, where he saw his mother and father.

"Hey mom, I got-" Subaru was cut off by his mother, "Subaru, what are you hiding behind your back?" she said suspiciously.

It's just… a gift.

Subaru responded, "I got you a chocolate as a gift." He handed it to her.

Subaru's mom looked at it with suspension, realizing that the chocolate was expensive, "Subaru, where did you get the money to buy this?"

Why is she still being suspicious?

Subaru replied honestly and confidently, "Fujino and I often do contests in academics and sports. He bets real money, so-"

Subaru's mom sighed disappointedly, "Tell me the truth, Subaru. Where did you get the money."

But I am telling the truth.

Subaru's dad commented, "Subaru, just tell the truth. Anything you say would be better than lying."

Subaru retorted, "I am telling the truth. Why are you both so suspicious of me? I don't understand."

Subaru's mother motioned him to go to his room. Subaru didn't want to continue an argument he wouldn't win. He also failed to realize he was giving positive body language when asked if he was lying, which caused his parents to think he was.

Subaru sat in his room reading philosophy books. He still struggled to understand them, but he was slowly making progress. He could only wonder if his relationship with his parents would return to how it was.

Subaru was now a Junior in high school. Everyone liked him well, excluding those who knew him in middle school. It created an awkward social dynamic as the minority of the students who knew him in middle school distrusted or disliked Subaru. However, most who didn't know him before high school respected and admired him. This led to consequences Subaru never wished to happen. Many of the students from his middle school were criticized or bullied. Subaru tried to stop some conflicts, leading to worse outcomes.

He understood the cause of his parents and those who knew him before disliking him now. Extreme sudden changes to a person's body language and behavior act as a warning to those around that person. It made sense from an evolutionary standpoint but was destroying Subaru's relationship with his parents and leading to school drama that he couldn't help but feel guilty for causing. The only exception was the one person he thought he could trust, who didn't treat him differently even after his parents did.

Subaru heard his voice called out and turned around, "Hey Subaru, you ready for the game tonight?"

He turned to see Fujino with an excited smile. He responded the same way, "Yeah, we're going to crush the Red Cats and make it to nationals."

Fujino put his arm around Subaru, "Hell yeah, brother, tonight is going to be the best."

Generally, physical contact was treated with significance in Japan. Still, since Fuijno traveled so often, he often forgot about Japan's customs.

Subaru returned Fujino's excitement, "Fuck yeah, brother, tonight we are going to have a celebration."

Fujino quickly realized something he had forgotten, "Subaru, you need a ride to the game, right?"

Subaru looked down for a moment before regaining eye contact, "Yeah. Sorry for the hassle that I must be causing your father."

Fujino realizing the situation, tried to comfort Subaru, "Subaru, your parents said some wild things to my father, but he told me he thinks you have a unique quality. He said you'd do better in negotiations than himself." Fujino's face turned to a more sympathetic expression, "I'm unsure if this helps, but my father thinks you have talent, and I do too. Whatever is going on with your parents will resolve itself with time."

Desire to have more caused a negative response to occur. I hope he's right. But I can only blame myself for what happened. Nothing in this world is free.

Over the years he knew Fujino, he matured into a hardworking, intelligent, talented friend. His hairstyle was unique, having that of what a CEO for a large company would have. He wore casual work clothing, which separated him from most in the school, but he didn't seem to mind it. His father was doing a good job slowly turning Fijno into someone who could run a massive cooperation.

The basketball game finished, and Subaru's school team, "The Golden Panthers," won by three points, scored by Fujino.

After the game, Subaru congratulated Fujino, "You got us the winning goal, good job out there today!" Subaru said with admiration and respect in his tone, "We're going to go to nationals. It's crazy."

Fujino shook his head in disagreement, "We earned this. Nothing is crazy about what we accomplished today out there as a team. I know both of us were training until we were half dead."

Subaru returned the sentiment, "Your right. Hard work does pay off."

Fujino and Subaru continued their banter until Fujino's dad arrived. His car was a black-tinted, silver Merchandize, and despite his job requiring most of his time, he would always set aside time to be a father as well.

Subaru and Fujino got into the car, and Fujino's father, Shibata Daichi, congratulated them on their game.

"Subaru, would you like to come over to celebrate with Fujino?" Fujno's father asked.

I should address him correctly.

Subaru responded enthusiastically and respectfully, "It would be great if it's not inconvenient for you, Shibata-sama."

Subaru heard a laugh, "Please, Subaru, just call me Daichi. No need for formalities."

Alright… honestly, I'm not that good at formalities either, so this will make the conversation more natural.

Subaru and Fujino discussed topics ranging from video games, manga, sports, and future aspirations and goals. While Fujino's future was already laid out, Subaru had no idea what future he desired.

Once they arrived, Subaru was surprised by the house he imagined to be much more significant. It was a smaller living space but still luxurious. He could tell Daichi spared no expense, noticing the paintings that he would guess may have cost millions of dollars and seeing multiple of them throughout the home. Eventually, they arrived at a dining area where the three sat down.

Something feels off. Fujino's father, or Daichi, will ask me about my parents.

Daichi made eye contact with Subaru, "From my understanding, your living situation isn't the best. I can see your talent and would like to offer you a job. The benefits will come with being able to stay in a guest room in our house, a salary or commission based on your efforts, and anything else I forgot to mention."

Is he serious? What job would I even be able to do? But I was correct. He was going to ask me something about my parents just didn't know it would be to this extent.

Fujino spoke before Subaru did, "Dad, don't you think that's inappropriate?"

Fujino is correct. It is odd. I wonder what he means by the job.

Subaru responded, "I'm curious about what this job entails."

My only guess is either he will test me or say the job is regarding negotiations.

Daichi took out a wine bottle and poured himself a drink before responding, "My apologies if my offer was inappropriate, but I must admit I can see that your family situation is stunting your growth, both in the aspect of your potential and your personal growth. To answer your question about the job, it's quite simple. I would have you watch recordings of negotiations and point out whatever flaw you see. I believe I can learn from you."

What? How does he even know?

Fujino was lost, but Daichi was a businessman. To create a multibillion-dollar company, you must have skills in all aspects of intelligence. Daichi noticed that Subaru had a talent that could be used as a con artist or a perfect sales, product, or business negotiator.

Subaru responded with a shallow voice, "Can I think about it? I rather resolve the problems I have with my parents first."

Daichi nodded in agreement, "Yes, I think you're correct about that. I simply meant to put the idea on your mind."

The rest of the night was mainly banter. Subaru could tell that Fujino was similar to his father. Daichi had no ill intent in his proposition and was asking it out of kindness and to help nature the skills he saw dormant within Subaru. Subaru also understood that and felt lucky as most, if not all, people who make the amount of money Daichi has usually turned corrupt, arrogant, or even worse. It was a rare site for Subaru to see in the sense of both his and the world's perspectives.

Subaru was now in senior year, almost turning eighteen. He still has not responded to Daichi's request, but his parents showed no signs of changing their view of him. Subaru could only think that a short time of separation would be the only thing that could help.

Subaru's ability to read people grew on its own. It was to the point where Subaru hated it as his body, and sometimes, his words would do things independently. He could no longer respond to how he felt but with the correct response to the personality that he had formed. He thought he was wearing a mask and the people who knew him before all disliked or distrusted him. The only person he could still enjoy talking to was Fujino.

Subaru was still well-liked and respected by everyone he met, so he started questioning his morality. He felt as if he was cheating in life. Nothing people said to him mattered anymore, as he would know what they would say before it occurred. He almost felt as if he was in limbo, not living nor dying but existing to exist.

Subaru was walking home one day after school. He was ready to either be paraded or ignored by his parents. He almost lost his connection to them. He knew he was to blame for what happened, but his countless attempts to fix his relationship either failed or worsened.

Before he could leave the school's campus, he heard Fuino's voice, "Yo Subaru guess what?"

Subaru turned around to see a Fujino with a smile so large he almost excitedly laughed, "What's up, Fujino?"

Fujino quickly responded, "Bro, I met this girl a few days ago. My father told me I must be very selective regarding women, but she seemed to like me for who I am. Her name is Sayaka."

I can see why Fujino is happy. He's been unable to have any romantic interests due to his father and future role. Many girls would try to manipulate him either for financial or social gain. I'm glad he found someone.

Subaru smiled, "I'm glad you found some Fujino." he continued, "You more than deserve it." He patted Fujino on the shoulder.

Fujino was thrilled but had a question: "Subaru, I'm curious. Why don't you pressure romantic interests with anyone?"

Love is meaningless if you can watch it happen before it even occurs. I had given up on romantic love a while ago.

Subaru shrugged, "I guess I'm yet to find the right person."

Feeling guilty, Fujino replied, "You'll find someone, Subaru. Don't worry."

Subaru replied with thanks and a wave and continued his way home.

On his walk home, Subaru thought about his life and purpose. He found nothing in his search. He would think about it daily, but any idea or possibility ended in ruin. He couldn't shake the feeling that everything in life was predetermined and lacked the excitement and mystery that once made it so appealing.

My actions cost the bond I had with my parents. I've tried many times to mend it, but nothing I do ever fix it. I can only imagine that it's gods way of giving me what I desired and then balancing it out with distraught. I just have no goals, ambitions, or meaning in my life. The only reason I continue is to enjoy spending time with the one person I didn't lose after changing myself.

Subaru opened the door to his house and was heading to his room when he stepped in. He wasn't in the right mindset to try to mend his relationship with his parents for the millionth time.

Subaru sighed as he sat down on his bed. He felt like he was going through life on autopilot, just existing without any real meaning or fulfillment. He longed for something more to bring him true happiness and a sense of purpose. But for now, he was resigned to his mundane existence, just going through life without any real direction or passion.

Subaru then heard a word echo in his room, "Divorce."

Why? I know if I had never changed, any of this would've happened. Are my parents really going to get divorced now because of me? Even if they don't realize it, it's my fault. I should've stayed the same even if nobody respected or cared for me. But the past is not reversible. Now all I can do is watch the effects of my selfishness.

Subaru went to bed for the third night without eating. He felt self-hatred, but he wouldn't want to show how he thought to Fujino. In Subaru's eye, Fujino was the only person who knew who he was. That was the only hope that Subaru was hanging onto.

Subaru was walking down the hall after his final class, his backpack slung over his shoulder. He was almost eighteen. As he made his way out of the school, he noticed his friend Fujino, who was standing off to the side with a girl by his side.

Subaru's eyes narrowed as he recognized the girl. It was Fujino's new girlfriend, whom he had talked about non-stop for the past few weeks. Her appearance was even more beautiful in person, with long curly hair and a warm smile.

Subaru then saw Fujino, "Hey Fujino is this the girl you've been talking to me about?"

Fujino formed a blush, "Hey, Subaru, can you not make it sound like that…."

Subaru then saw Sayaka grab Fujino's arm, "Relax, Fujino. I'm so excited to visit your house for the first time!"

Strange. She's good but not good enough, her body language is somewhat correct, but that's precisely the problem: Incongruous, a general flag in any social situation. If one's words and body language are the opposite, you can safely assume something's off. However, I can't be sure yet.

Subaru continued to observe Sayaka, trying to assess whether or not she was genuinely interested in Fujino or just using him for his status and wealth. He knew that Fujino could be very impulsive regarding women and that his father's status often attracted individuals who were only interested in his money and influence.

Subaru could see the hope and excitement in Fujino's eyes, and he couldn't help but feel a twinge of concern. He didn't want his friend to get hurt again and was determined to protect him, even if it meant having to be the voice of reason.

He decided to keep a close eye on Sayaka, observing her interactions with Fujino and trying to determine if she was genuinely interested in him or if she was just using him for his status. He wanted to ensure Fujino was not getting involved with someone only interested in his wealth and influence.

Wait, is that? As Sayaka stretched her arms, I saw a tattoo on her arm. It was hard to see, as her shirt covered most of it, but I was almost sure that it was the same tattoo members of the Inagawa-kai gang were known to have.

Well, I'll have to intervene at this point. I can't let another thing go wrong due to my action or inaction; I just need to act. If I'm wrong somehow, the worse scenario is Fujino hates me, and if I'm right…

Subaru approached Fujino and Sayaka, who were waiting for a ride. As he came, he could see the excitement on Fujino's face, completely unaware of the potential danger that Sayaka posed. Meanwhile, Sayaka gave off positive body language, flashing Subaru a warm smile as he approached.

Subaru spoke with a shallow and light but calm tone, "Hey Fujino do you mind if I come with you? I know it's the worst time to ask, but I need to follow up on that offer your father gave me a while back… somethings are happening with my family."

I hate that I have to lie to try to protect him.

Fujino quickly responded, "I see. No problem. I'm sorry if something happened. My father has been busy the last few weeks, so one of my dad's butlers will give us the ride."

Two scenarios. Option one is that it's a ransom situation, and this butler will take us to a location and demand money. Option two is that this girl's goal is not to get ransom money but instead was hired by a competitor company to kill Fujino's father. Either situation is troublesome, but I doubt they included me in the plan. At the very least, I could be a shield to protect Fujino if everything else fails.

The ride came, and Subaru noticed they were headed toward Fujino's house, making him even tenser. A ransom situation is far less harmful than this outcome. Subaru began to try to brainstorm ideas while Fujino and Sayaka had a conversation. Luckily Subaru had a good reason to be silent, given the circumstances for why he requested to come.

As the car arrived at Fujino's home, Subaru lagged and noticed a van outside. At this point, he wasn't sure what to think as he felt he was thinking of too many possibilities. Subaru began to breathe to calm himself and continued into the home.

Daichi saw Subaru and greeted him, "It's been a while, Subaru how have you been?"

Subaru responded shallowly, "I've been doing alright."

Daichi stared at Subaru, unsure what he was thinking, "Well, if there's anything I can do to help, let me know."

Should I try to warn him? No, that could backfire too. I have to wait and then figure out what cards I should play. If it's the Inagawa-kai gang, my best bet would be claiming I'm the son of a prominent figure without Inagawa-kai. But I don't know anything in detail other than what's publicly known.

Subaru heard Sayaka pick up a phone. She was speaking Russian, but Subaru knew Russian. When Sayaka hung up the phone, Subaru was in a mental panic.

There ready? Who's ready? Was I right about the van? Sayaka doesn't seem to be armed, so I could try to hold her hostage, but I doubt that would be effective given the importance this has. My only option is either act now or wait and see if I find a better opportunity.

Fujino looked at Sayaka with curiosity, "That was Russian correct? I didn't know you could speak Russian. I tried, but it's a tough language to learn." Fujino said with an innocent tone.

Sayaka responded, "I did a travel abroad program in middle school where I went to Russia and learned the language. It was pretty hard to learn, but being there for a few months, I got the hang of it."

She's lying. I wonder if Daichi can tell he should know at least a bit of Russian if he travels so much for his business.

Subaru glances at Daichi to see a sweating father, fearful of his son and his life. Subaru could only feel guilty. This could've been prevented if he had stopped them from ever going.

Subaru heard the door break and saw one masked man. His only time to act is now.

Subaru spoke in Russian, "So you are the members of the Inagawa-kai gang. Perfect, the NPA should be arriving any moment now."

This is all I can do—just work. Please work.

Subaru heard a response in Russian from one of the men, "Even if that's the case, why do you think they sent expendables for this?"

No.

*BANG*

*BANG*

Subaru looked in terror as Fujino's head had a hole in it. His father had a hole in his heart. He couldn't accept this to be reality. He could only wish this was an illusion, a nightmare.

"Who is this? He is not in the plan, and his bluff was terrible."

Subaru heard Sayaka's voice, "I don't know. He's some random kid that came here. Just kill him."

The masked man walked towards Subaru, aiming the gun right before his head.

"Don't get me wrong, I don't like killing people that aren't involved, but you know too much. You should've just-"

Subaru saw the chance and grabbed the masked man's hand, holding the gun and moving him towards him before kneed the man in his groin, grabbing the gun.

They should die. They should die for what they did.

But I should too.

*BANG*

Subaru shot the masked man in the head and then made eye contact with Sayaka, "I'll see you in hell."

*BANG*

Subaru put the gun to his head and hit the trigger, but nothing happened. The gun was jammed. Subaru's emotions we're leaking out like an abyss of misery. He wanted to die. He killed two people. He should just die. Everything he did resulted in tragedy.

Subaru walked to what used to be his friend, Fujino. Now nothing more than a corpse as the blood spreads on the ground.

I wish… I wish you had never met me. I wish nobody had ever met me. I wish I were never born.

Subaru's eyes got hazy as he thought perhaps god was killing him, but when he opened his eyes.

What?