One evening Adrien found himself in his living room doing more research after a patrol of the city. Plagg was being his typical unhelpful self, as always. Which, as he gave it some thought, actually seemed a bit strange. Plagg had always been prone to long-winded metaphors comparing life to loving cheese, sure, but Adrien's small companion had always managed to rustle up some serious advice whenever the situation called for it. The more Adrien thought about it, the more he realized it was a bit odd that Plagg hadn't had anything substantial to add outside of his complaints that he was being run ragged by the extra time transformed. Granted, Adrien hadn't exactly been taking a lot of time alone that week in between working and patrolling, but still.
He eyed the black Kwami, a thought occurring to him. "Plagg? Do you know something you aren't telling me?"
Plagg just tossed a small ball of yarn up into the air. "Of course I do. I've been around a lot longer than you, kid. I know a lot of things you don't."
Before Adrien could prod him further, a knock came from his balcony, causing him to turn. His eyes widened as he saw Ladybug standing outside, waving sheepishly.
His heart soared. She was here! Had she changed her mind? Trusting Plagg to hide, he leapt up, promptly bashing his head against the light fixture above him. He mostly ignored the pain (and tried to hide his embarrassment), making his way to the sliding door to open it. "Ladybug! You're here! I mean—" He needed to keep his head straight for this. He was Adrien, not Chat Noir, and he knew nothing. "—what are you doing here?"
She looked at his head, concerned. "Is your head alright? I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. This looked like the easiest spot to talk to you without attracting attention."
He winced as her words brought the pain into focus. Ow. "Oh you know, just a minor concussion, it's fine. I'm used to it; I hit my head all the time, especially on that light." Adrien silently cursed himself for sounding like an idiot, but Ladybug didn't seem to notice as she looked at the room behind him.
"Head injuries are cumulative, you know. You could move your table so the light is centered, and you won't hit your head."
"Yeah, but then then I can't fit chairs around the table because it gets too close to the wall. You're probably right though, it's really irritating." He'd wanted to rip the whole light out of the ceiling on multiple occasions.
Ladybug looked up, taking in the room. "Wow, yeah that's really off. Whoever installed that needs a little more spatial awareness."
He laughed, feeling a little dazed at having small talk with Ladybug about the inconveniences of his apartment while she stood there casually, definitely not looking pregnant with their baby. "Yeah, this whole place is a bit off. That's what you get when your father only allows you to move one street away; not a lot of options." Old resentment threatened to sink its teeth into him, but he ignored it, not wanting to think about his father at the moment. He was still getting over the rush of relief that had filled him at the sight of her, after a week of assuming that Ladybug could cut him out of the pregnancy, whether out of concern for the security of her secret identity, doubt in his ability to be a good father, or some misplaced sense of independence.
Ladybug frowned. "Is he really still dictating your life that much? I would have thought that you could live anywhere you wanted."
"Nah, I could move anywhere now. It was only an issue when I first moved out and I was still reliant on him. I haven't had a reason to move again. I was just happy to get out of that house and on my own. This place is as good as any." He startled as he realized he hadn't invited her inside. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I'm talking about light fixtures and my father. Did you want to come in? You said you wanted to talk?"
She cast her eyes down, looking nervous in a very un-Ladybug way. "Yes, if I'm not bothering you too much."
Like she could ever bother him. He bit the thought back; not telling him about their baby would have bothered him. But she was here, and any hints of frustration he'd had with her were quickly evaporating. "Not at all. Please, come in." He stepped back, letting her in as he shut the door behind her. He walked them into the living room, though he cringed at the state of the room. Leaving every night this week had not left him with much chance to clean, and he had discarded clothes everywhere. He tried to subtly snag things to hide them under furniture, but a glance at Ladybug revealed an amused smile as she pointedly looked away, pretending not to notice. Oh, wonderful. Here he was, preparing to try to convince her he would make a good father, and he couldn't even keep his apartment clean.
He offered her a seat, before heading back towards his kitchen. "Can I get you something to eat or drink?"
"I'm good, thank you." He grabbed her some water, hoping she was staying hydrated, what with the baby and all. He sat down next to her, handing the bottle to her as his mind ran through everything he wanted to say.
After a brief pregnant silence, he cleared his throat. "So, what did you want to talk about?"
She shifted slightly, having trouble meeting his eyes. "Right, well. Do you remember several months back, when the villain Love Bomb attacked your building? I was standing with you when we got hit, but I'm not sure how much you remember."
This was it. She was going to tell him. First, the attack. This was the first time they had talked about it since it happened. He tried to hold back the slight panic. Juggling his guilty conscience, his love for Ladybug, his secret identity's knowledge of their child, and his desperate desire to be a good father left him briefly grasping for the right response.
He tried to focus on reacting solely as Adrien. He needed to apologize, as he'd wanted to do in the months prior.
"I do remember some of that, and I'm so sorry Ladybug. I never would have taken advantage of you like that if I had been in my right mind." He hoped she believed him, though he knew she didn't know him very well.
Her response came quickly. "You don't need to apologize. No one is responsible for what an akumatized villain makes them do. I'm the one who needs to apologize. I got distracted when I ran into you, and we were hit because of that. It was completely my fault."
No, that wasn't right. How could she think that when he was the one that had led her there? He bore the responsibility for what happened. "You're wrong, Ladybug. Love Bomb was chasing me and I led her to you. I knew she was coming after me, and I should have reacted quicker when I ran into you."
She must not have been ready for him to present such a quick rebuttal. She looked taken aback before growing insistent. "Well, I'm Ladybug, and I'm responsible in this case. You're just a civilian; you're not used to dealing with akuma attacks."
I'm not a civilian he thought. I'm just as responsible as you. He couldn't say that, of course, but what else could he say to convince her she wasn't at fault? "It was just bad timing; it wasn't anyone's fault. Though since I was the cause of the akuma appearing in the first place, I still say the responsibility falls on me."
She didn't back down. "From what I heard, you were very polite when you turned that girl down. You can't take responsibility for her emotions."
"Still, not your fault," he pointed out, feeling a hint of amusement at the glare she aimed at him. So stubborn.
They stared each other down for a minute, until Ladybug finally gave in with a huff. "Okay, fine. It was neither of our faults."
Adrien felt smug at the victory, but let his grin drop as her stubbornness seemed to fade, leaving wariness behind.
Ladybug took a breath and continued, "I thought that everything was going to be fine after Scarabella used her cure to fix all the damage. But I found out later that there was a… quirk to their ability to reset things."
He held his breath, waiting for the punchline and trying to keep his expression merely curious. He couldn't reveal that he was Chat. He couldn't.
She stood up from her chair and started to pace nervously. "Apparently, in regards to the holder of the Kwami with the Power of Creation—" Ladybug pointed to herself, "—they can't go as far as fixing what they view as an ultimate act of creation. An unfortunate consequence of that is that I'm pregnant."
Her words crashed over him, and he didn't have to fake his surprise. There was something different about hearing the confession directed towards himself as Adrien. He let the information sink in; Ladybug was pregnant, and here she was in his apartment, throwing him the lifeline he'd so desperately wished for since finding out as Chat Noir a week ago.
She went on quickly, almost panicky, not giving him a chance to say anything. "To be clear, I am not expecting you to upend your life. I've figured out how I can make the situation work so you don't have to be involved. I know your work and image are important to you and your father, and the last thing I want is for you to feel trapped by this."
She thought he'd feel trapped by her confession? This is what he wanted; what he was quickly realizing, he needed. As long as her decision was to keep the baby, then he wanted to be involved, he needed to be a father to his child. He brushed away her words without another thought. Instead, he just let his eyes wander down to her stomach, which remained no different than it had ever appeared. The contrast of it with her words made him feel slightly off-balance, and he felt the urge to confirm. "You're saying — we're going to have a baby?"
She nodded, and something undefinable shot through him as he watched her, seeing uncertainty in her eyes. He still had no idea how she felt, not about him, nor about the situation. But above all else, he had to make sure she knew what he was prepared to do. "I want to be involved. Please, I can do everything you need me or want me to do to help and be there for you." He'd take anything she'd let him do if it meant knowing her and knowing his child. Anything.
She looked slightly taken-aback. "What about your father? And the press? Not to mention the fact that I'm Ladybug; you don't even know who I am. Co-parenting won't be easy."
He went to her, and took her hands into his. "I don't care about that. None of it matters to me." A small part of him chimed in that maybe it mattered to her; maybe she didn't think letting him be involved was worth the risk to herself, or that she didn't want to be involved with the spotlight that tended to follow him. He shoved the thoughts aside for now; she had come to him, after all. They could work out the details later. He focused on her, willing her to believe his words. "Just tell me what I can do to make this work. I know you don't know me well, Ladybug. But I promise I will be there for you, and our baby, in whatever way you let me."
"I know." Her grip tightened in his hands, her eyes going watery. But were they good tears or bad? Was she upset at the thought of having to bring him into her life? He wanted to ask, but he didn't want to make this about himself. She wiped at her face, pulling away from him as she started pacing again, her expression clearing.
"This isn't going to be so simple. If this does go public, no one can know that I'm Ladybug. I don't believe Love Bomb saw me behind you when she hit you. Otherwise, Shadow Moth would have gone for me then." She was right, and it was a thought that hadn't even occurred to him, as distracted he had been afterwards. "I never saw anything in the Ladyblog or other news outlets about us, so I think we're safe there. But with you as famous as you are, I doubt we could keep it from Shadow Moth if I start showing up around you as Ladybug more often. Your balcony seems pretty private, but if I started appearing nearby all the time, I doubt we could keep a masked super hero leaping from your balcony a secret for long."
Adrien tried to keep his face blank; she didn't need to know that Chat Noir had managed to stay hidden while jumping off that balcony for a while now. "Got it, so no secret superhero rendezvous." He couldn't hold back the excitement that started trickling through him. She was speaking about trying to find a way to spend time with him, though he didn't know if she meant before or after the baby came. Was she alluding to revealing her identity? After a decade of pining, would he finally get to know the real Ladybug, the woman behind the mask?
Apparently, she'd already thought this through. "Right. I've tried to come up with alternatives, but what I keep coming back to is that you need to know my identity. If you're going to be involved, that is."
"Of course, that makes sense." He tried to contain his excitement. She was willing to reveal her identity to him in order for them to make this work. He tried not to think about the fact that he'd be hiding his own identity from her. He'd make it work as long as he could.
"Don't look so eager, Adrien; it's not going to be easy on you, in more ways than one. It puts you at risk if Shadow Moth ever finds out you're close to me. He would use you to get to me. Also, you'll need to be careful. If you know my identity and were to get targeted by an akuma, you might not have much ability to keep that from him."
He knew this, of course, and nodded. As Chat Noir, he'd always been careful, knowing that it would be a disaster if he ever let himself get akumatized. Nothing changed for him, here. He bit back the temptation to deliver a flippant remark about his own experience as an akuma-fighting super hero. He had pride in his work, but this wasn't only about him.
"I've avoided it so far, Ladybug. I usually have a good check on my emotions. Perks of the job, I suppose." His job as a model, sure, though she didn't know he also meant his hero work as well.
"It actually might not matter, for a little while at least. I'm going to be temporarily relieving my duties as Ladybug. It's getting harder for me to stay as well balanced in a fight."
"I understand." She made a gesture as if referring to her middle, and he was struck once again with the strangeness of not seeing what he expected. "Well, actually, I did wonder. That attack was what, four months ago now? I couldn't help noticing that you don't really look…ah…" He struggled, frantically grasping for a description that wouldn't imply he thought the woman he'd loved since his adolescence should look bigger at her second trimester, terrified he had accidentally insulted her.
Her eyes widened, and he resisted the urge to panic-explain that he was just confused as to how she could be four months pregnant without showing a bump and that he definitely wasn't saying she should be bigger than she appeared at the moment, and that he would see her as attractive even if she gained a hundred pounds, and that it was her personality he was attracted to, but that he still found her attractive as Ladybug, and, and, but…
Thankfully she rescued him by doing the last thing he expected: worrying he didn't believe her. "Oh! You're right, I should have brought something as proof, since my suit hides it when I want it to."
He hadn't meant to imply that he didn't believe her and his answer was quick to stem that idea. "No, I don't need proof Ladybug. I believe you. I was just curious." Curious to see her without the magic covering her. Something she had just said came back to him. "Did you say your suit can hide you when you want to? Does that mean you can choose not to?" He tried not to sound as interested as he felt.
"Oh, yeah I can." She looked around, seeming a little lost for a minute. "I actually would need to detransform first. Do you have a bathroom I could borrow? And maybe a cookie for my Kwami, if you happen to have one?"
Adrien hurried to grab her some cookies from his pantry, then led her to his bathroom, taking a quick peek first to make sure it wasn't a disaster. He tried to surreptitiously kick the pair of dirty boxers underneath the shower curtain as he motioned her in.
Ladybug smiled at him before slipping in. He backed away, waiting in the living room.
Plagg stuck his head out from the collar of his shirt. "You sure this is a good idea, Adrien?"
Adrien paused, weighing his words. "I don't have any other options here, Plagg. I've loved Ladybug since I was old enough to know what love is. And that's not even considering the baby…"
"But she doesn't know who you are. The real you." Sometimes it felt as though the tiny god was the only one that saw the piece of him that felt the most real that came out more often when he was Chat Noir. Well, outside of Ladybug.
But it didn't matter.
"I don't care, Plagg. I won't just back down; that's my child she's carrying, and I can't turn my back on her and make her raise the baby on her own just to stop me from learning her identity. The thought of not knowing my own kid…"
That thought killed him.
He had always wanted a family of his own. His mother had died when he was a child, and his father had barely been present after that. And when his father had bothered to be around, it was only to control him, as if Adrien had been an extension of Gabriel and not a person in his own right. Now Adrien had a chance to be a father. To show up. To watch his child grow and support them. To be there like his parents never had.
"I'm doing this Plagg. I love her. I don't even know the baby yet, but I love them too. I'm going to be there. I'm going to show up. Consequences be damned."
Plagg opened his mouth to answer, but the doorknob rattled and he dipped back down into hiding. Adrien stood, watching her come back out.
Ladybug walked towards him, hesitant. "Well, here's the proof, I suppose."
He followed her hand with his eyes as it lowered to rest on her stomach, now clearly rounded. She wasn't even halfway through the pregnancy yet – maybe somewhere around 16 and 18 weeks, if his count had been right, – but Ladybug was quite small and fit, so the bump seemed prominent on her. She was beautiful.
"Wow," he whispered, unable to look away. Proof of the life growing inside her stole his attention. Something inside him felt like it shifted, and he felt his breath catch as he took a step towards her. He lifted his hand and looked up to her face, which seemed frozen in mixed curiosity and trepidation. "May I…?"
Ladybug looked at him as if she were afraid she would scare him away, but she nodded. Slowly, he moved to her, resting his hand lightly on her stomach.
He couldn't feel anything beyond the softness of her suit and the taut skin beneath, but he still felt mesmerized. Though he knew the answer, still he asked, looking up into her eyes, "Do you know the gender yet?"
"Not yet." She seemed a bit dazed herself as she watched him. He reluctantly dropped his hand from her belly.
"Could I go with you when you find out?" he asked, hoping she wouldn't say no.
She looked surprised again. "I…I'm not sure. I think so? If you want to?"
"I would love that."
He was left with one more pressing question.
"When will you share your identity?"
"Not…not just yet. Give me a week. I'm going to stop transforming into Ladybug then, and I'll come to you."
He felt momentarily disappointed, but nodded. What else could he ask while he had the chance? He turned his mind to other immediate concerns. "The baby is healthy, though? What if something happens before then; how can I get ahold of you?" He couldn't exactly use his baton to talk to her. That had the potential to blow the whole secret identity thing wide open in the worst possible way. Why on earth would Chat be that concerned about Ladybug's baby, after all? Their secret identities could turn into quite the quagmire if he wasn't even more careful going forward.
She cut into his thoughts. "My best friend. I'll make sure she knows to get ahold of you. And yes, the baby is doing fine. I have another appointment this week. I'll let you know how it goes the next time I see you."
He wanted to ask to go with her; he wanted to know it all, to be there for everything. He wanted to ask her how she felt about everything, but he thought they needed more time together before he tried to ask anything too deep. He didn't want to push too hard and make her uncomfortable, for fear of making her second guess her decision to let him in on her pregnancy. Perhaps after she revealed her identity. Instead, he pulled her into a hug.
"Thank you, Ladybug."
"I…for what? I'm sorry we got in this position in the first place."
For telling me. He wanted her to understand how highly he thought of her, how much he loved her, but he had to be careful. He was Adrien; it wouldn't make sense for him to know her on the deep level he did as Chat Noir. And he didn't want to accidentally scare her away. "If I had to be in this situation with someone, I'm glad it was you. I've…followed your career as a super hero for a long time, and while I think what you've done for the city has been great, I also have been able to see that you're an amazing person under the mask as well. Thank you for giving me a chance to be involved."
She did smile a bit at that, but there was something behind her eyes that spoke of a sadness there. He wanted nothing more than to cheer her up.
She moved to leave. "I better get going."
A thought struck him; he had a gift he could give her. "Wait, hold on, let me give you something." He rushed back into his room, grabbing the deck of cards from his bedside table he had just bought for Marinette. The Doula Deck: Practices for calm and connection in your pregnancy, birth and new motherhood.
It was perfect. He brought it out to Ladybug, who looked at it in surprise, before amusement etched into her face. "You just keep these in your bedroom, huh?"
He suddenly realized it looked like he'd had these before even knowing she was pregnant. Oh no, what if she thought he had a pregnant girlfriend, or worse, that he was a creepy weirdo. Luckily, his explanation was the truth: "No, uh, I mean, not usually. I actually have a friend of mine who is pregnant, so I bought this to give her as a gift."
Her response confused him. She gaped at him, mouth falling open slightly.
Had he said something funny?
Was it weird that he bought gifts for a pregnant friend?
He felt like he couldn't say anything right tonight.
First, he implied she wasn't big enough. Then ten minutes later he alluded to a fictional secret love child of his own.
Jesus, Adrien, can you pretend to be a normal human being for thirty minutes?
He was about to awkwardly explain further, but her lips went up into a warm smile. "Oh, that's super nice of you. Wait, no –" she tried to push the deck back into his hands, "—take it back. I don't want to take away her gift."
He pushed her hands closed around the deck. That was Ladybug alright; always thinking of others. It was a huge reason he was hopelessly, desperately, in love with her. He tried to reassure her. "No – it's fine, Ladybug, I want you to have it. I'll just get her another one."
She held it to her chest, tears in her eyes again. "Alright. Thank you, Adrien. This means a lot." He wanted to pull her into his arms, a desire he'd been fighting back during the entirety of their conversation, but instead he just followed her as she headed back to his balcony.
"Be careful, Ladybug."
She smiled back at him. "I will. I'll be back" Then she was gone.
Adrien walked back inside, feeling as though he were floating, his relief hitting him so hard that he flopped down onto his couch just to breathe.
Plagg flew out once again, appearing with cheese from his stash in the fridge Adrien kept in his room. "See? I told you she'd come around."
"What? No you didn't." Adrien shot a dubious look at his friend. "You just whined about having to go out so much this week."
The Kwami plopped down on Adrien's chest. "You must have missed it in all that fretting of yours." The little cat munched on the cheese. "Are you really ready to be a dad?"
Adrien felt as though he would burst at the seams, happiness and excitement flowing through him. "I don't know, Plagg, but I have to be. I will be."
A/N: Finding myself really enjoying writing some of these scenes from Adrien's POV, even more so than I did from Marinette's. I can't help but feel that Adrien just craves touch, writing from his perspective. I just feel it exuding from him. I also need to give credit to my husband for being so helpful in editing and adding his own perspective for what a guy would be feeling during all of this. His experience with hitting his head on our light fixtures was also inspiring XD. Please let me know your thoughts, and what you've liked! I've actually added on to what I already had in future parts of this story based on comments, because they made me very happy and I wanted to keep up what you guys like!
Husband Note:
1) I stand by my statement in the last chapter that they should at least have an idea that the love square is connected irl. But I'm a professional Suspicious Bastard by both temperament and vocation, so my viewpoint is skewed. 2) I actually love Adrien's character as my wife has written it. I grew up in a super neglectful/abusive household and spent my entire adult life doing my best to Show Up for her and our kid. I think Adrien will make a fantastic partner and father, and woe betide anyone who fucks with the Avatar of Destruction's family.