Win leaned against the bar counter in the Widows' gambling den in East Stave the Lady Luck, listening to Fara chats away. Fara was the chattier of the two sisters. Having been in Fjerda less long, she was more Ketterdam loud than Fjerdan stoic. She was tall, blonde, and muscular, like most Fjerdans. Her ice-blue eyes were pretty, unlike her sister Sara's, who had grey eyes, which made her more intimidating and ghost-like. Win was only half listening. She had been feeling low since Alivier had left to go on vacation with his family in the Southern Colonies. The days she had spent with him more beforehand were like glimpsing through a peephole into another life. You can see it, but all you want is to be able to open the door and see more. Win had almost begged to be invited to meet his family, but he seemed resistant when she even hinted at it. Finally, before they said goodbye, he told her he would have her over for dinner at his family's home once they were all back in school in the fall. He promised to write. Win knew not to come off as needy by writing him first.
"So then my father says he'll visit in a week. Can you believe that?" Fara asked, waking Win from her daze.
"What? No, when's the last time you saw him?"
"I saw my mother and father five years ago. They have not been able to save the money since. He says he will have a gift for Sara and me." Win tried to smile in response.
"What do you think it is?" Win asked, thinking back to the last gift she got from her father. My mother put a dress in a box, and my father handed it to me. He said it was new, but it was worn before. It was green, with yellow flowers. Win had been grateful that her mother had told him her favourite colour.
Fara held a tender smile, obviously thinking happily of her family.
"I hope it will make me think of home."
"Have you ever been able to go back and visit?" Fara's face dropped. She just shook her head no. Win had heard the rumours when she first began working with the Widows. Fara and Sara were both in possession of the abilities like a Grisha. However, they were in danger not only because of Fjerda's law but because their older brother was a part of the Druskelle, the army who sought out and hunted Grisha.
"Does your family know what you do in Ketterdam?"
"They know we work and run businesses. They are proud of our living." Win knew they both had Widows' tattoos. She wondered how they explained this to their family. "Ok, enough talk. Get to work." Fara waved her hand away from her, and Win nodded. She didn't mind working at the Lady Luck so much. She served drinks, passed out jays and ensured the tourists had a good time. Dame Cora recently saw Win work some customers and asked her to try one shift at Luckie's brothel. Win had refused in a good-natured manner. She appreciated the compliment but was reluctant to accept the offer. She had the looks to charge a lot but knew that kind of work wasn't about looks alone.
Win had been spending more time with Dame Cora, Fara, Sara, and all the workers under them. As a result, Win had finally begun to be trusted and complimented.
Dame Cora walked in, and a few of the workers who had just been hanging around began working more diligently at the sight of her. Dame Cora was not a woman to be crossed. Win liked her. It was impossible to guess her age, she was known to carry the most wisdom. Either 35 or 60. Win thought, watching her. Dame Cora was protective of her girls and strict as could be. She walked straight toward Win.
"Winifred, Zelda's calling you back to the Bank tonight. She says the patrons there are missing you." Dame Cora always called people by their full names and refused to engage in nicknames. Win was disappointed. Her tips were better at the Lady Luck. Since the influx of tourists, some with good luck, they took her into account when winning.
"Right away?" Win asked.
"I promise I fought for you. Fara has vouched for you. We'll get you back here in two weeks. I've been eyeing to make this enterprise bigger. I'll need more help."
Win's eyebrows went up.
"Oh yeah? Cheering up patrons, or maybe taking on more?" Dame Cora gave her a knowing smile.
"One step at a time, Winifred. You work well and like money but aren't dumb enough to steal it from us. That's good enough for me." Dame Cora patted her arm, and Win felt the women and newly hired man at Luckie's were fortunate to have Dame Cora over them, unlike some other Brothel managers.
"I'll see you in two weeks then." Win smiled, dropping her apron behind the bar. As Win went to walk out, two or three men she had been spending time with began to yell out in protest that she was leaving.
"You're going to ruin my luck; Win!" The oldest of the three said, holding his arm out, inviting her to embrace him. She laughed heartily, walking back over and knocking his hand away.
"Well, Shavan, my boss called me back. Complain to the manager; I wish I could stay!" They all looked to Dame Cora, who appeared fierce. They all feigned being terrified. Dame Cora and Win both laughed. The new group of tourists coming in was still good-natured. Win knew they would become bored or sour in another month. Clem had warned her on her first week that the hotter the weather got, the more riled-up tourists became.
Fara handed Dame Cora a glass of something dark and smokey. Dame Cora took a small sip and beckoned Win back over.
"Yes?" She asked the two of them.
"You got anything to protect yourself?" Fara asked.
"Dal gave me a butter knife." Fara and Dame Cora exchanged a glance.
"You need a gun. It's late, and there are more people out. It can be good cover, but it won't help you." Win hesitated; Clem had had her fire a gun when she first started, just to get used to it. She didn't need the practice; she fired guns on the farm back home often. Win put up no argument to own a conspicuous weapon. It wasn't a good look when she could run into Alivier. There was no chance of that right now.
"I'll take one if you have an extra."
Fara led her behind the bar. She opened a locked drawer, and inside was a small pistol with a holster and a belt that could wrap around a thigh. Win was glad it wouldn't be open. She tied it around her leg, under her skirt.
"It's loaded?" Win remembered to ask, having brought a gun out with Dal once and forgetting to ensure it was loaded with any bullets. Dal officially stopped taking her out after that. Fara smirked and nodded. Dal had told everyone.
"Ok, I better hurry before Zelda loses it." She headed out, Dame Cora already talking to the other workers, telling some of the hired muscle to keep better eyes on suspicious players.
The night was hot, and a light rain came down from above. The tourists and patrons were in full force. Win spotted many masks and costumes from the Komedie Brute play. Clem had warned Win that people in masks are bolder and more violent. Their anonymity emboldened them. Win shimmied through the crowd quickly as she had been taught. Coming from a farm, she was used to open fields and had never seen more than ten people gathered in a room. She thought she would find the city claustrophobic, but she thrived in a crowd.
She weaved in and out quickly, creating a game of being able to flirt promptly, even while passing by in a moment. She didn't always want the attention, but it worked well when she needed it, and it was how she met Alivier. She had given him quick eyes while passing in a crowd, and he had run back to catch up and meet her.
Win felt two hands on her shoulders, pulling her back. Her eyes grew, and she tried to reach for her gun until she heard a familiar voice.
"Eyes open, girlie."
Win turned her head and saw Clem smirking at her. Win let out a gasp of relief.
"Saints, Mouse, don't do that. You know it's buzzing outside tonight." They passed several gambling halls as they made their way toward the Bank. Barkers were in full force, yelling about the Crow Club and the Bandy Cat. Win heard a few about their establishments. Clem nudged her. Win smiled and yelled out.
"You're right; let's get a drink at the Bank! I'm sure we'll meet someone interesting there before we leave town!"
Clem laughed and added at the top of her lungs.
"I wish we could meet some interesting guys before we go!"
Win looked around and saw a group of young men who had overheard them. Clem smacked Win's arm and yelled.
"Let's go!"
And they both sprinted for the Bank. Clem had gotten Win to do this often when she had first started working. Clem couldn't believe how fast men would follow her.
"You're like a man handing out champagne; everyone gets in line for you."
Win was used to the compliments but particularly enjoyed them from Clem. Clem had a way of making her feel valuable and powerful.
Hours later, Win completed her shift at the Bank. Clem completed her employee checks by doing rounds at the Study Hall and saw Meg at the Warehouse before she came back. She sat at the bar, drinking with Zelda and a few other workers while Win cleaned up. Win thought Clem's move was strategic. Everyone had heard the rumours about Granny's decision. Zelda denied wanting to move up but acknowledged to Clem she would reluctantly take it if something happened to Granny. A few girls heard that Granny had been taking more meetings lately, and even Clem didn't know with whom. Fara had told her she suspected that Granny had been meeting with some government officials around lobbying for some changes within the law. Fara could be trusted as a good source of gossip, but Win thought Fara didn't legitimately know and suspected Dame Cora may have given her a false lead.
Rudy entered the bar. He had a violent night. It was apparent as his shirt had specks of blood on it. He proceeded to sit down at the table Win was wiping down.
"Busy night, eh?" She asked, motioning to Rudy's shirt. He sighed and rested his elbows on his knees.
"They were assholes tonight. I swear the tourists see someone like me and think taking me on is fun."
"Don't worry, Rudy. Assholes try to take on everyone, not just giants like you." Rudy looked up with concern.
"Someone givin' you trouble, Win?"
She answered with a kind smile.
"I would tell you if they did, Rudy. I don't want you to think I'm only your friend for your strength."
Rudy smiled but still looked disappointed.
Rudy had asked her for a drink right after Alivier had left, and she had to let him down. She would have gone on one date in the past, but she knew now that it would make things worse. Rudy was a good man who wouldn't attempt to ask her again. However, she had promised to tell him if she changed her mind.
Win's head turned to the group. Everyone around the bar burst into laughter after Clem said something that had gotten them going.
"You going to join us for a drink tonight?" Win asked, turning her attention back to Rudy.
"I don't think so; I'm just going to pick up my pay and go home. Two siblings are sick, and my mom needs a break." He responded.
"You sure? Wouldn't they all be asleep by now?" She asked, only passively cleaning the table.
Rudy considered this, got up and headed to the bar in response. Win walked towards the bar and went behind it, taking out two glasses to fill them. Zelda sized her up.
"Whose pay are those coming out of?" She asked warningly. Win thought Zelda had been bold to ask, considering she had seen one or two girls sneak off with a bottle lately, and was certain Zelda knew.
"Zelda, leave 'em be and put it on my tab," Clem yelled.
"You don't have a tab," she barked back. Clem laughed.
"Oh yeah, then it works perfectly." A few other girls tittered, and Clem pulled out a jays and lit it with a new silver lighter. Zelda put a wad of jurda in her cheek; Win saw it as a direct message. Zelda was resistant to Clem's ventures and would not smoke jays. Clem stared Zelda down and blew out the smoke in her direction. The room grew tense. Rudy, who Win knew couldn't stand the tension, intervened.
"I'll pay; that way, I can save my pride and say that I finally got Win to agree to a drink."
The room broke and laughed; Win laughed with them, glad Rudy was good-natured and hadn't been too embarrassed about his rejection to have kept it a secret. Win kept her eyes on Clem, laughing with the group while eyeing Zelda. Zelda didn't laugh and stared at Clem.
Win poured two drinks and handed one to Rudy.
"Cheers to the summer business," Win said, lifting her glass. Everyone raised their glasses in unison and drank. Rudy finished his drink and then added.
"Good for everyone but me!"
Win laughed and added.
"Perfect time for a raise, Rudy!"
Suddenly, a loud banging was heard at the door of the Bank. Zelda pulled out her revolver, and Weedy, an older bartender for the Bank, pulled out a switchblade. Rudy looked to Win and stood up. There was a bat behind the bar that Win would toss to Rudy if he needed a heavier hit. Clem rose, putting the jays between her teeth and holding it there. Walking to the door, unafraid.
"What?" Clem asked behind the door. Dal's voice was heard on the other side.
"Open up! Hurry!" Clem unbolted the door quickly, and three people burst through—Dal and Vran, carrying Isir. Win saw a red stain on his shirt that was steadily growing. The two of them struggled to lift him as Dal was still a child, and Vran was so skinny. Isir was older than Win, and she knew him to be a loyal part of the Widows. Zelda screamed.
"Everyone get back; help him on the tables. Lock the door!" Clem didn't hesitate and was already moving before Zelda shouted her instructions, but without saying a word. Instead, she reached behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of their most potent alcohol and brought it over to Isir. She grabbed the towel from Win's hand and poured some of the contents from the bottle into the towel. Isir looked as though he was losing consciousness, his eyes fluttering. Then, someone screamed; Win wasn't sure who. Clem snarled and turned.
"Everyone get to the Study Hall; they're still open. Go through the back hallway. Help them out over there. Not a word about this. Rudy, I need you to stay outside the Bank and keep watch. We'll pay you extra."
Clem took her gun off her hip and tossed it to Rudy, who caught it and left. "Dal, Win and Vran, you stay here." Win looked confused at Zelda, who protested.
"She's my worker; she doesn't need to be here."
"Zelda, I need you to tell Ertha what happened and ensure things are ok there. I want Win here." Zelda made a look to argue but spat out her jurda onto the floor and yelled.
"Alright, onto the Hall!"
Everyone followed Zelda as she opened the back door and led them out, closing it behind her. Win's face was panicked, wishing she was leaving with them. Clem tentatively lifted Isir's shirt; the blood had spread and was thick. Win couldn't see where the wounds were but was sure it was multiple stab wounds in his side. Win took out her knife and cut his shirt off. Clem looked at Dal, who nodded and took off their top tunic, scrunching it and stuffing it into Isir's mouth. Clem placed the towel soaked in alcohol onto the wounds. Isir screamed in pain. Vran sat down, his face flush. Win felt light-headed; she knew the only remedy was to make herself useful. She opened a closet door and reached in. She pulled out six clean towels and rushed over to Clem. Clem continued her attempt to clean Isir and finally found three large gashes on his side.
Win felt all her breath escape her body. Stabbing was worse than being shot. More blood poured from his side, creating a puddle on the floor. Abruptly, Isir stopped screaming, his expression blank. Dal put their hand in front of his mouth.
"He's still breathing, Clem, do something," Dal demanded. Clem, who had looked self-assured throughout, didn't respond. Clem inspected the wounds after wiping more blood away; every towel was stained red. Clem closed her eyes, breathed in, and put her hands on both of his wrists. She opened her eyes.
"It's done." She looked around at each person in the room. "He's gone." Vran ran his hands through his hair aggressively, pulling on it like he would tear it out.
"Keep trying." Dal snarled.
Clem ignored them. She removed her shirt and wiped her hands with it, not removing any of the blood and only ruining her top. Win's breath quickened. She had seen dead bodies before, but never one dying in front of her.
"Win; go out and tell Rudy to get Meg and Sal; they should still be at the Warehouse. We need to wake up the Pigeons and get them to clean this up. Where's Sol?"
"Off to tell Dame Cora and find Granny to tell her," Dal responded. Clem took out another jays and lit it, the previous falling out of her mouth during the chaos. Win's eyes kept away from Isir. She hadn't moved to speak to Rudy yet.
"Why?" Clem asked, focusing on lighting her jays.
"I told her not to; apparently, Granny told her that if anything happened on this job, she wanted to know."
Clem raised her eyebrow but then seemed disinterested. She blew out smoke and glanced to Win.
"Win? Rudy?"
Win shook off her daze and headed for the door. She almost found it more startling to see Clem so removed. Win opened the door to go outside and saw Rudy standing few feet away, holding the bat.
"How's everything out here?" She asked him, closing the door behind her.
"Good, nothing different. Callin is watching the Study Hall."
"Clem wants you to go get Meg and Sal; we need the Pigeons to clean things up."
"I'll walk with Meg and Sal to get them, make sure they're ok. I know both of 'em don't like to fight."
"Thanks, Rudy," Win attempted to smile, but she couldn't; she felt weak.
"You ok, Win?" He inquired, hesitating. She swallowed. She didn't know how to answer.
"I don't know yet, Rudy. I know this is a part of it. People warned me. It just didn't feel like it would be real."
Rudy nodded sympathetically. Win was sure anyone else would have made fun of her except maybe Clem. Rudy went around the building, and Win walked back inside. Vran had vomited in the time that she was gone. There was a bucket in front of him. The room was filled with the stench of it mixed with the fresh blood.
Vran still looked a shade of green. Win went over and rubbed his back; he kept his head in his hands. Dal seated on the counter, smoking their jays.
"Can I continue now that Vran is being mothered?" Dal asked with a scowl. Clem nodded.
"So, after we spot and get all the right shipping containers, Vran opened 'em. We had our contact; we had our runners ready. Then out comes about six of 'em. They had guns and knives; they were ready. Sol took out two; I took out one. Isir had two on him, and Vran got clubbed by one. It was brutal. Sol's a'right. I think Vran, you got shot?"
Clem looked over, and Vran raised his head. Win could see both his eyes were black, and his lip was bleeding, large and swollen.
"No' sho' ba'" He tried to say and lifted his shirt. Win could see all his ribs; they were red and inflamed; she was sure they were broken but saw no bullet wound. Dal rolled their eyes while Clem looked them over.
"What are you not showing me?" Clem asked, finishing their assessment of Vran and looking Dal up and down. Dal lifted their left hand in response. Two fingers looked broken.
"Took a bat to the fist while I was shooting," They said simply.
"Ok, Win, go update Zelda and Ertha. Everyone'll meet in the upstairs office."
Win nodded and gestured to Vran.
"Should I bring him with me?" Clem gave her a look like she wasn't thinking.
"To the Study Hall? Do you want all the girls to stop dancing in horror? Wake up, Win." Clem snarled.
Win nodded and went for the back door. Clem followed her and entered the hallway after her, closing the door halfway.
"Do you know why I made you stay?" She asked, no humour in her face; it was almost earnest. Win shook her head no. "If you decide to stay with us, you need to know what you choose. It's not always this, but there is this. You've been here long enough; it's your time to see. You're not a kid; you can still leave at any time, and we won't come looking for you. I don't want to trick anyone into joining. So now you know." Win didn't respond. She felt grateful.
No one else hid the gruesome aspects, but they always made it seem that it only happened to those who weren't challenging, smart, or streetwise. People assured Win that she wouldn't end up that way if she played her cards right. Older Widows told stories of fallen warriors, but their age made it possible to be invincible.
Win thought of Clem standing over Isir. She searched her memory. She thought she could remember someone telling her that Isir and Clem had dated when they were kids. Yet she had never seen Clem so impersonal.
Win opened another door after walking down the hallway and entered the Study Hall. It was half-full and winding down. Most of the workers were distracted and were hanging around behind the bar. Win slid behind the bar. Ertha and Zelda crowded her, along with multiple of the more senior workers.
"Isir?" Ertha asked. Win shook her head no. Refusing to scream over the music playing that Isir had died. "We need to wrap the body and prepare for the funeral," Ertha shouted without consideration. Win noted her immediate affinity for protocol. It must give her comfort. Win thought, while Zelda looked more disturbed.
"What's the state of the Bank?" She asked.
"Bad," Win said grimly. "Rudy's gone with Meg to get the Pigeons to help clean up."
Zelda nodded while simultaneously shooing away other eavesdropping Widows.
"You'll hear the gossip later; go dance with some idiots and get them to buy more drinks."
She said. Win watched the girls shuffle off, eager to join them.
"Granny and Dame Cora should be on their way. Clem says we should meet upstairs." Win added.
Zelda nodded but made no move; Ertha signalled to the band to wrap things up. Win waited another minute and then turned to leave. She didn't know where to go or where she belonged. Therefore, instead of going through the back door to the hallway, she went outside. She could feel Zelda's eyes on her but didn't care; she needed air.
Once outside, she frantically pulled out a jays and struggled to light it with a match. She felt sick, as the reality of all that had happened hit her. She crouched down on the street and desperately inhaled the jays. It was a bad idea.
Her adrenaline pumped too fast. She thought she was going to be sick, like Vran. Win tossed the jays, and like Vran earlier, pulled her fingers through her hair. She thought of running, escaping. Considered going back home. Win pictured herself returning to the farm. She felt no relief. That must mean something.
After she felt well enough, Win stood back up. She looked down the street toward the Warehouse district and saw four people she couldn't recognize from a distance.
Rudy's shape became familiar. She waved as he steadily ran toward her; the other three trailed behind. Win thought she knew them as the Pigeons from the Warehouse, but she seldom went in there. She wasn't aware they also did this work, but it made sense. People who couldn't hear were less likely to report, and the stadwatch was less likely to ask. The three Pigeons ran past Win and went around the building, heading to the Bank. Rudy stopped next to Win.
"Where's Meg and Sal?" Win asked Rudy as he came upon her.
"They insisted I accompany these three, so they can get started. They're going to get the other seven. They said they can make it back alone, but I think I should go back and get 'em."
"I think you're right, only Sal can hear well out of all of them, and we don't need anything else happening tonight. Clem'll appreciate this, Rudy."
Rudy turned back around to run in the direction he came. Win wished he could stay. She felt less like she was spiralling while planning with him. She decided to check on Vran, as a form of distraction. She walked back up to the Study Hall door saw several patrons mulling around. Callin hadn't been around when he should have been. She wondered if Ertha or Zelda had sent him on a job. Clem pushed past the customers and walked back through the Study Hall. The music was playing people out, and the bar was closed. Win headed for the hallway. After entering, she turned right down a corner, saw a set of stairs, and climbed them.
She entered the upstairs office. Clem used to sleep up there with Meg for years, but it was now a large office. It could hold at least thirty people and sat atop the Bank. The room consists of six desks and chairs, two safes.
Win saw Vran, Dal and a few other Widows, who were older than all of them. These women were too old to spend time with the younger members but didn't have the seniority of the elders. Win wasn't sure she could remember their names but was comforted that they didn't look unfazed. She didn't want to be one of the few affected.
They all sat on the floor, knowing the elders would sit in the chairs. It was the same when Nula died, but the atmosphere drastically changed. Win sat down next to Vran. He glanced at her, and she saw he had tears in his eyes. He kept his head hanging low to hide them. Dal was staring straight ahead, almost looking bored. Win considered putting her arm around Vran, but she knew that wouldn't help. Everybody already thought he was soft and didn't need to look weaker.
She stared into nothing, waiting in silence with everyone else. She tried thinking up plans, backup plans and plans to escape possibly. Win wondered if she should think smaller, that instead of Alivier, she should settle for an artisan in Zelver district or even a diplomat. It soothed her to focus on this. Dal turned to look at her, showing her interest for the first time that night. Win looked back, her expression blank. Dal handed her a jays, and Win took it, putting it between her lips but not lighting it. Dal clicked their tongue and leaned toward her, lighting it for Win with what looked like a brand new, shiny, silver lighter. Win sucked on it, held her breath and then blew out.