Chapter 12: Blood Is Thicker Than Water
Chapter Text
When Regulus and Sirius arrived at the Potters for Christmas, both brothers were silent. It was the first time they had really seen each other since, well, since Regulus had tried to push him away.
He had realised, even though it took him a few weeks and a breakdown, that he would always need his big brother.
He would always need both him and James.
He chewed his nails nervously and looked down to the ground; neither had knocked on the door yet. And he couldn't help but be nervous about… well, everything!
Eventually, though, he grew tired of the awkwardness and nervousness. So much so, that he turned to Sirius.
"Are we going to stand here all morning?" Regulus asked, "because if we are, tell me and I'll sit down and read -"
"Fine! Fine, I'll knock…" Sirius said, irritated, and Regulus blinked, glancing at Sirius in confusion. He hadn't expected his brother to be annoyed and annoyed about what, he didn't know. Probably about me… Sirius was frowning, and his eyes weren't glistening with happiness, like they usually did.
"What's -" Regulus started, but the door opened before he got to finish and Sirius made it seem like Regulus hadn't said anything at all. Sirius's frown vanished and was replaced with a grin that didn't quite reach his eyes.
"Sirius! Regulus, glad to see you both again!" Mrs Potter answered the door and Regulus sighed internally. He wasn't going to waste any more time; the moment he got a chance alone with Sirius, he'd talk to him.
"You too, Mrs P!" Sirius replied, but it was different. There wasn't the happiness in his voice that Regulus remembered from last year, it was… strange. Regulus was going to get to the bottom of it. He wanted his brother back, and he was going to ask James for help to make that happen.
"Nice to see you again, Mrs Potter," Regulus said politely. She invited them in, and the House-Elf took their bags from them. Sirius didn't say anything else, instead, he took off towards the stairs. Not even saying 'hello' to James on the way up.
Speaking of, James had a frown on his face as he stood opposite Regulus, and he turned to his mother.
"Do you -" What he was about to say to his mother, Regulus never found out, as she gave James a look, interrupted him, and turned to Regulus.
" - I think it's best to leave Sirius and Regulus alone to sort themselves out, James. Come with me, how about we make dessert the old-fashioned way? Without magic?" Mrs Potter suggested as she nodded to Regulus to go upstairs and talk to Sirius. His heartbeat was beating unusually fast as he listened to her suggestion. He didn't know how Mrs Potter knew something was up, but he was very thankful that she did.
Regulus nodded in response, and when he saw the conflicted look in James's eyes, his heart ached. Without really thinking, Regulus hugged James.
"I'm going to talk to him, and I'm telling him everything," Regulus whispered in his ear. "We'll be fine, spend time with your Mum," he said, wanting to reassure James, who hugged him tightly. Both didn't want to let go of the other, and Regulus felt a lot calmer than he had been feeling a few seconds ago.
Regulus pulled back from the hug reluctantly and smiled once more to both Mrs Potter and James before making his way to Sirius's room.
He opened the door and found Sirius sitting on the edge of his bed, head in his hands. Regulus sighed and sat down beside him, using whatever courage he could muster to talk to him. To tell him the whole story. He was just ashamed at how long it had taken for him to confide in his brother. But he could fix that, now, right?
Before he was about to speak, Sirius spoke first.
"What you said was true," Sirius said, his voice soft and low. "It's my fault our mother and father put the pressure on you."
"I didn't -"
" - Don't say you didn't mean it. You should have seen the look in your eyes. Mother did everything she could to destroy our bond, you know. And I don't just mean locking our doors to our rooms." Sirius sounded broken, and Regulus hated it.
Regulus let the guilt and emotion slip past his well-crafted mask as he listened to Sirius. It seemed the only thing he could do right at that moment was listen; Sirius wasn't going to let Regulus interrupt as he continued.
"She used Obliviate on us both, she used her cunning, and she used the Unforgivables. In the end, I knew I had to do anything I could to distance myself as far away as possible from her. Even if it meant passing all that Pureblood, family etiquette, pressure - to you."
Tears streamed down his cheeks, and he didn't even bother to wipe his tears away as Sirius finally looked at him.
"The Regulus I knew ran to me when he was scared. I understand if he's long gone by now, and if Mother and Father have finally got to you, but… I'm here, Lionheart, I'm here. And even if I'm not, I'm never that far away," Sirius whispered and Regulus hugged Sirius, crying into his shoulder.
Why did he ever think that he had lost Sirius?
He had been there this whole time.
"Siri, it's not our parents forcing me to act like someone else," Regulus muttered into his shoulder. Sirius pushed him away gently so that they were facing each other, holding Regulus by his shoulders with a concerned expression on his face. "It's Grandfather."
Sirius stared at him, and Regulus continued speaking, "He was the one who wrote to me last Christmas. And he wants me to become a Death Eater, a spy, to destroy the Dark Lord. He says I'm the only one that can do it." It felt good to finally tell Sirius, but he wasn't sure what his brother's reaction would be.
Well, I'm about to find out.
He held his breath in anticipation.
"How did he threaten you? How is he manipulating you to lose who you are again?"
Regulus blinked, wiping his eyes as he sniffed, not quite hiding the fear in his eyes. "He said the Dark Lord would kill everyone I love if he ever found out that my loyalty wasn't completely to him."
Regulus had never seen Sirius angry before. Sure, he'd seen him pissed at his parents, annoyed at Peter for something. But never, ever, angry. Until today.
"I'm going to tell him to leave my baby brother alone. I'm going to tell my parents to leave us alone, and then we're running away," Sirius stated, and Regulus's eyes widened. As much as he loved that idea, and as much as he wanted to side with Sirius, scrap everything and run… he didn't have it in himself to do that.
"No," Regulus replied, and Sirius frowned at him.
"No?"
"No," Regulus repeated and sighed heavily. "The plan is working, no matter how much I hate it. Mother is fooled, she thinks you and I have finally seen the light. Gone separate ways. And she loves that I'm the perfect Black now." Seeing Sirius's eyes narrow, Regulus continued speaking, "Grandfather said part two of the plan is happening. And I'm not backing out."
"Why? We could figure something else out together!" Sirius replied, confusion written all over his face. Regulus ignored the pain in his heart, as long as he had everyone else fooled… and still had his brother and James by his side… he could do it.
He had to.
"If I get in too deep, will you bring me back?" Regulus questioned softly, and pain flashed through Sirius's eyes. They both knew what he had to do, he just didn't want to say it out loud. Next year, and the years after, were going to be the hardest. He didn't need to be a seer to know that.
"Of course, Lionheart. Of course. Come here." Sirius opened his arms wide and Regulus collapsed into his brother's embrace, holding onto Sirius for as long as he could. "I'm proud of you, Reg."
"And I think you have a secret admirer," Sirius whispered teasingly after a few minutes of silence, and Regulus frowned, confused at the sudden change of conversation.
"A secret admirer? Good joke, Siri," Regulus replied, shaking his head in disbelief. Who would like him? Sirius was just trying to prank him after a serious conversation, that was all.
"It's true, you and I know him quite well -"
" - What?" Regulus' head snapped up, and he frowned. He was even more confused and had no idea what or who Sirius was on about. And what did he mean by 'him'?
"Ignore me." His brother sounded a little too happy, and Regulus didn't trust him at that moment. Ignoring him seemed like a good idea, though. So he went with it. "I think we should go and apologise to Mrs P and relieve a stressed-out James Potter," Sirius said and Regulus laughed lightly, he wiped his eyes and nodded in agreement.
"Although, maybe we should leave Jamie stressed out a little longer. He's cute when he's stressed," Regulus replied, not thinking about what he was saying, and as he slowly realised what he said, his eyes widened in surprise. Sirius grinned brightly at him, mischief dancing in his eyes.
Regulus leapt up from the bed and sprinted out of the room, not being able to do anything about the blush on his cheeks.
"Reg! Come back here!"
Regulus ran down the stairs with a grin on his face and kept looking back as he heard heavy footsteps following behind him. He ran through the living room and into the dining room just to throw Sirius off his trail. He ran back out of the dining room and when he saw Sirius almost catching up to him, Regulus then ended up running into the kitchen where he found James and Mrs Potter, who both looked confused at the sudden commotion.
Regulus didn't care as he ran around the kitchen, trying to get as far away from Sirius as he could.
"Reg!" Sirius shouted as he found him in the kitchen, and Sirius sprinted over to Regulus who had managed to back himself into a corner. Sirius wrapped his arms around Regulus, put him in a headlock, and then closed his hand into a fist as he messed up Regulus's hair.
"You've got a crush!" Sirius said in a sing-song voice, and Regulus blushed deeply, embarrassed.
"Shut up! No, I don't!" Regulus hissed, his heart beating quickly. He couldn't even bring himself to look at James.
"Oh, yes, you do -"
"Boys!" It was a shout they hadn't expected, and it was stern enough to make them both jump in surprise.
Regulus froze. Sirius froze.
They turned to face Mrs Potter, who had her arms folded across her chest, raising her eyebrows with an unimpressed stare.
Regulus gulped.
"Would one of you kindly explain why you think it is acceptable to be running about inside the house?" Mrs Potter said, her voice calm.
"W- well, you see -" Regulus started, and Sirius continued,
"It was -"
"No, no. Enough!" Mrs Potter was the most serious either of them had ever seen her be before.
Regulus was breathing heavily, nervous. Extremely nervous as he chewed on his nails. When she walked over to them, he wasn't sure what to expect. Fear was written in his eyes, which he tried his best to hide.
Then, warm arms wrapped around him and Sirius, bringing them both into a hug.
"Come here, you two!" Mrs Potter said, her voice warm and welcoming. Regulus breathed a sigh of relief, hugging Mrs Potter back with a grin on his face.
"You had us worried for a second there, Mrs P!" Sirius replied, hugging her as well.
"You didn't think James got his love for pranking from his father, did you?" Mrs Potter retorted, and Regulus didn't even need to look at her face to tell she was smiling.
"Now." She broke the hug, and Regulus missed the warmth he got from it. It wasn't like with James, it was a different feeling of warmth, and one he didn't know how to describe. "Who does Regulus have a crush on?" Mrs Potter asked them both with amusement in her eyes.
Regulus blushed, shaking his head. He finally got the courage and glanced at James or at least he tried to.
"I'm going to get some air," James told them, and Sirius and Mrs Potter didn't think anything of it, both focusing on something else. But Regulus frowned in concern when James left the room.
"You'd never guess!" Sirius replied excitedly.
He turned his attention back to his brother. "You -" Regulus pointed at Sirius with his eyes narrowed, and Sirius blinked a few times. "Tell anyone, and I will kill you!"
He then turned to Mrs Potter. "He's got it wrong, I don't have a crush on anyone." Regulus wanted to defend himself, but Mrs Potter didn't look convinced.
"No?" Mrs Potter replied, "Then why did you just threaten to kill Sirius if he ever uttered a name?"
Regulus opened his mouth only to close it again. He had no answer that he wanted to admit to. "No reason, excuse me," he mumbled, walking out of the kitchen to try and find where James had gone .
First, he tried his room, but there was no response when he knocked on the door. When he opened the door, James wasn't there. Regulus frowned, wondering where James would go, as he wandered back down the stairs and out to the Manor grounds.
He was glad he had told Sirius, and that the air had been cleared. Regulus felt lighter, and happier than he had done in a while. He hoped nothing would ever tear him and Sirius apart.
Regulus didn't really know where he was going, but as he looked around the garden, he saw that James was nowhere to be found. Perhaps he had gone to the Quidditch field?
Regulus picked up his pace as he reached the gate to the field and climbed over it with relevant ease.
He looked up at the sky at first, but he couldn't see James flying. Where was he? He couldn't just vanish into thin air!
"Jamie?" Regulus called out, he couldn't hide the anxiousness in his voice.
"Up here."
Regulus frowned and looked around to try and spot where James's voice had come from. He blinked a few times - there James was, halfway up a tree. He was sitting with his back against it, his legs lying across the branch, his arms folded across his chest as he looked out at the sky.
"You climbed a tree," Regulus deadpanned, surprised.
"I needed some air," James replied simply and Regulus shook his head in disbelief.
"You know, when most people need some air, they take a walk?" Regulus said and James chuckled quietly.
"Yeah, well..." he muttered.
Regulus sighed, debating what to do. "Are you going to come down and talk?"
"No," James replied stubbornly. Regulus scoffed and rolled his sweater sleeves up.
It was time he was there for James, too.
"Okay," Regulus replied, "Wait there…" he said, starting to climb the tree.
"What are you doing?" James asked.
"What does it look like I'm doing?" Regulus questioned back and James sighed loudly.
"If I wanted to talk, I would have come down," James stated.
"I know," Regulus said, making pretty good progress. He was surprised that he was actually quite good at climbing the tree. Since this was his first time ever attempting to do so.
"Then why are you not leaving?"
Regulus rolled his eyes, "For the fun of climbing a - shit!" He missed his footing, and it was lucky he had a pretty strong grip, otherwise, he would have definitely fallen.
"Reggie? Tell me you've climbed a tree before?" There was the concern in James's voice that Regulus knew all too well.
"I could, but that would be a lie," Regulus answered breathlessly. He definitely wasn't struggling. No, not at all.
"Once you move your left arm, look up, and grab my hand," James instructed. Regulus nodded as he moved his right foot in a wedge and then put all his weight on his right arm as he moved his left. James's hand was strong as he helped Regulus up to his branch. He made space for Regulus, who breathed heavily.
"Thanks," Regulus replied, after a few moments. It was quite nice up in the tree, and the view of the countryside was rather perfect.
"Idiot," James said and Regulus blinked, pulling a face.
"Hey! Why am I an idiot?"
"Because," James answered simply and Regulus's eyes narrowed at him.
"That's not a proper answer," Regulus replied.
"So, you and Sirius were happy."
Regulus smiled at that. "Yeah," he said, wondering just what to tell James about their conversation. "He said we should run away, but -"
" - who do you like?" James interrupted. Regulus blinked a few times; he couldn't help but be surprised by the question. His heart raced as his cheeks tinted pink at the look James was giving him.
"See, about that, Siri got it wrong. I don't have a crush, I… I just said I thought someone was cute by accident," Regulus admitted, though he didn't know why he was telling James this.
"How do you call someone cute by accident?" James asked with amusement in his voice.
Regulus shrugged and replied, "Quite easily, actually."
"Do I know her?" James asked.
Regulus hesitated, not knowing what to say. He didn't want to lie, so… what was the worst that could happen? "You know him quite well," he answered, and that familiar feeling of warmth that he had only felt around James came back.
James tried to hide his surprise, and Regulus smiled softly at him.
"Is it Remus?" James asked after a moment, and Regulus choked on his own spit and laughed. He laughed as hard as he had in the Great Hall last year, and shook his head in disbelief.
"Look who's the idiot now, Jamie?" Regulus said when he had recovered. He patted James on the back and started to try and climb back down, smiling to himself as he did so.
OoO
James watched as Regulus struggled, but he eventually made it to the ground. When he had seen Regulus and Sirius come rushing into the kitchen, acting like the brothers he knew them to be, it had put a smile on his face.
But the moment Sirius had said that Regulus had a crush, he couldn't even begin to organise his thoughts. The room had become warmer, a lot warmer. And he had been sweating, his heart racing.
When Regulus followed him, and eventually found him, he was hot and sweaty again. He knew why, he did. He had liked Regulus for a while now. Hearing that he had a crush though, it made him jealous.
That's why he'd asked Regulus who he liked. To make sure that she was good enough.
He had been thrown off guard when Regulus said it was a he. And Regulus had the cheek to call him an idiot because apparently, he was an idiot for not understanding what Regulus had said.
I know him well.
What did he mean by that?
Regulus only spent time with Evan and Barty, but James knew that Regulus didn't like those two. Not like that. And then the Marauders, no one would like Peter. No offence, Peter. And so that left Remus.
And himself.
But Regulus couldn't possibly mean…
Oh.
OH.