Chapter 15: Don't Be Stupid
Chapter Text
"Your inner Gryffindor showed in the tryouts today, Reg," Sirius said the moment Regulus walked into the Gryffindor dorm room. He took off the invisibility cloak, rolling his eyes at his brother with a small grin on his face, as he shrugged sheepishly.
There were cushions and blankets on the floor, Sirius and Remus were sitting next to each other while Peter was sitting the furthest away, doing homework. Regulus looked at James, who was lying on his stomach on the floor, in front of his bed. His heart quickened when James smiled at him and patted the floor for Regulus to sit next to him.
He was conflicted with what to do and how to behave. How could he behave like he used to when… when he was… he couldn't… he had no idea what to do. Regulus took a deep breath, trying to calm his racing thoughts before looking at his brother.
"I don't know what you're on about," Regulus replied with a little amusement in his voice. He tried to muster up the courage he had and sat down next to James, keeping distance between them. When James frowned at him, Regulus managed not to blush at the concern and chose not to look at James again. At least until he decided what to do. What could he do exactly? It was his brother's best friend!
Why him?
"Sure, you don't," Sirius replied. "So, you're leaving us hanging. Did you make the team or not?"
Regulus's eyes widened, blinking a few times. After the confrontation with Lucius and the girl telling him about… well... He had hidden himself in his room, even skipping dinner by doing so. Then, when it had hit the usual time to meet the Marauders, he had left his room without so much as looking at the notice board in the Ravenclaw common room.
"I've no idea," Regulus admitted and immediately wished he hadn't when he felt all eyes on him.
"You don't know?" Sirius asked slowly, and Regulus shrugged, uncomfortable being the centre of attention. He didn't want to say why he didn't know either. But how was he going to explain it?
"Regulus, you weren't at dinner. And now you're telling us you don't know if you made the team? What happened?" Remus asked, his voice full of concern.
Regulus opened his mouth, only to close it again. He scratched the back of his head awkwardly, surprised that Remus, of all people, had actually noticed that he wasn't at dinner. At the same time, a warm feeling rushed over him; Remus cared. They all cared.
"Nothing happened," Regulus said; he had to think of an excuse quickly. "Actually, to be quite honest, I didn't feel very well. I've got a headache, I'm going to go…" He cringed inwardly. He got up before any of them could say anything and started to leave.
Maybe, just maybe, he should have been in Slytherin. Maybe then he wouldn't have fallen for James. Maybe he wouldn't have to deal with the repercussions of it.
"Reggie, wait!"
His gut was telling him not to wait. His gut was telling him to run away and not to look back. But his heart was telling him to stay. Regulus listened, turning to see James leaping up from his position on the floor, picking up his invisibility cloak and jogging over to him.
"I'm coming with you whether you like it or not," James told him sternly, and Regulus inwardly groaned, a blush threatening to make its way to his cheeks as James led the way out of the common room.
Regulus pinched the bridge of his nose and hesitated in following James. But that only lasted for a few seconds before Regulus was making his way after him.
OoO
"I'm worried," Sirius spoke softly as he watched Regulus go after James. He didn't know what was going on with his brother.
"I don't think you need to be worried," Remus replied. Sirius glanced questioningly at Remus with a raised eyebrow. Remus had a thoughtful expression on his face and Sirius blinked a few times. What was Remus thinking about? Why wasn't he worried, when just a few moments ago he was concerned too?
"No?" Sirius asked, watching as Remus shook his head, a faint smile appearing on his lips before he returned to his book.
"No."
Well, that reassured me… Sirius thought sarcastically.
OoO
Under the invisibility cloak, James held Regulus's hand, making Regulus stare at their clasped hands as they walked along the corridor. Sure, their hands had almost touched before and Regulus had wanted to hold James's hand. But they had never acted on it. Until now.
He frowned when James changed their usual route, heading into a broom cupboard, in one of the emptier and less-used corridors. The moment James shut the door behind them, he folded his arms across his chest, and Regulus furrowed his eyebrows in confusion at the look James had on his face.
"What?" Regulus couldn't help but ask, and James rolled his eyes.
"What?" James mocked him and Regulus was even more confused, about to speak again, but James beat him to it. "You better spill, right now. What happened?"
Regulus sighed frustratedly. "Do we really have to talk in a broom cupboard? This isn't really the place I had in mind for -" His eyes widened slightly, stopping himself from speaking, just in time. 'For telling you I like you' was what he had been about to say.
"For what?" James asked. Now it was his turn to be confused.
"Nothing. I ran into Lucius after practice," Regulus blurted out, wanting to distract James from what he had just said.
"Malfoy? Why?" James questioned, concern in his voice.
Regulus could have melted there and then. It was different now. The usual concern, the smile… he knew why it was different with James than with anyone else. But what was he going to do about it? He couldn't just act like normal. Not when all he wanted to do was kiss James and hug him tightly. To hear James tell him that everything was going to be alright.
"He was bullying a girl in my year. So, I stopped him," Regulus answered. "I couldn't leave her alone with the likes of him and his lackeys."
Regulus glanced at James, who was looking at him, something in his eyes that he couldn't quite place.
He blushed lightly when James placed a soft kiss on his forehead. His insides were doing somersaults and all he wanted to do at that moment was kiss James. But he didn't. He locked eyes with James, neither of them looking away.
That was until Regulus's stomach gurgled loudly and he blushed lightly from embarrassment. James chuckled, shaking his head at him, breaking eye contact as he took Regulus's hand in his own and leading him out of the cupboard.
"Come on, I know how to get to the kitchens," James said softly and Regulus rolled his eyes.
"Of course you do," Regulus muttered sarcastically. "Ow!" he cried out when James nudged him in the ribs.
It didn't take too long for them to get to the kitchens and Regulus enjoyed the walk; he tried to figure out the way to the kitchens before James showed him. It distracted him from why he hadn't actually turned up for dinner in the first place. There was something different, more exciting about sneaking around Hogwarts with James, under the cloak. He could be himself, and he was going to make the most of that. Even while battling his thoughts, trying not to overthink every little thing or trying to resist his urges to stop James and kiss him.
Though he couldn't help but frown when James led him down a staircase, which Regulus was pretty sure meant that they were directly underneath the Great Hall now. He remembered seeing Dirk head this way after meals, but he had never really questioned it back then; now though, he wondered if it was the way to the Hufflepuff common room.
Regulus looked at the paintings, all of them food-themed, that hung along the bright brick wall. And then, they stopped. Regulus almost bumped into James but was lucky when he didn't, stopping just in time. He blinked at the look on James's face and raised an eyebrow at him. He didn't trust the expression James had on his face. Not one bit.
"Tickle the pear," James ordered, smirking at him.
Regulus stared at James in disbelief. This was a prank, wasn't it?
"Excuse me?" he questioned, and if possible, James smirked wider.
"You heard me, Reggie," he replied.
Regulus sighed, and glared at James. "If this is a prank…"
"It's not, little star," James whispered, and Regulus glared even harder as his insides turned to mush while he stepped towards the painting. He rolled his eyes and shrugged. What's the worst that could happen? He tickled the pear.
To Regulus's surprise, the pear giggled.
His eyes widened as the painting disappeared and instead of a painting, a door appeared.
It was then that he decided he wouldn't question James ever again.
"Master James, we were beginning to think you had forgotten about us." One of the school house-elves startled Regulus, having appeared in front of them the moment they had stepped into the kitchen.
He blinked back his surprise when James grinned at the house-elf and crouched down to his level. "Well, I'd never forget you, Lorrey," he said.
Regulus stared, his heart skipping a beat. At Grimmauld Place, his mother and father treated Kreacher poorly, very poorly in fact. Which was why Regulus was always kind to the house-elf. He would even go so far as to say that he and Kreacher were friends, because after all his mother had put him through, Kreacher had been there the times that Sirius couldn't.
Seeing James acting the same way that he would with the house-elves, it made Regulus think that perhaps it was only his mother who treated the house-elves so harshly. But he knew, deep down, that she probably wasn't the only one treating them like that. And he wished that wasn't the case.
"Reggie, are you alright?" James's voice brought him out of his thoughts, and Regulus hid a blush, nodding.
"Yeah, yeah," Regulus said in a slightly dazed tone and in a not very convincing way.
"Could we get a sandwich for Reggie, please? He missed dinner," James asked politely, and Lorrey nodded, getting to work straight away on the request.
Regulus sat down on the nearest chair and sighed. Why did things have to become so complicated? He cringed when there was a scraping sound of a chair being moved and blinked when James sat opposite him. Before James could speak, someone else did.
"Reggie, a nickname for Regulus, yes?"
Regulus frowned, the voice sounded tired, and old. He glanced to his left and responded by nodding, not being able to form the words to reply. The elf in front of him was old, very old, using a small walking stick to help him stand. The elf was hunched over, but still he smiled. His eyes looked like they had been through more than Regulus could ever imagine possible.
"Grandpops Kymil, you should be resting," one of the other elves fussed.
Kymil shook his head as he replied, "No, I have rested long enough."
James gave Regulus a pointed look, and Regulus frowned in confusion, not understanding what James was getting at.
"The Regulus constellation and its system has many different versions of its history throughout time," Kymil started.
Regulus didn't have the heart to interrupt and tell him that he knew all about his name along with its meaning. Although, he hadn't done too much research on the history of it. Instead, he ignored James staring at him and gave Kymil all his attention. He wondered where the elf was going with this.
"It is interesting that you're called Regulus when your Father is called Orion," Kymil said.
Regulus blinked a few times. "Why is that interesting?" he asked and the elf chuckled.
"Orion, the mythical hunter. And Regulus - Cor Leonis. It is interesting because from the French, that means Lion's Heart. The hunter and the lion in the same family. Do you not find that curious?"
Regulus thought back to the conversation he had had with the girl; is that what she had meant by calling him Lionheart? Though, one question did come to mind. "Why wasn't I sorted into Gryffindor then? That would have made more sense -"
"Would it?" Kymil challenged. "Would you have ever considered Gryffindor as an option?"
Regulus sat back in his chair and answered honestly, "No, I'm not brave enough, or strong enough. I wouldn't have fitted in, and the outcome would have been much worse. I think… I… I would have been more alone..." he trailed off, not wanting to say anything else. He didn't want to say the true reasons out loud.
He felt James's eyes bore into him, but Regulus focused on the elf, whose eyes were filled with sorrow.
"You're stronger than you think you are. Don't forget that," Kymil said. "Now, eat."
Regulus's stomach gurgled again and Regulus nodded in thanks as a sandwich was placed next to him. He started to eat, trying to process the conversation he had just had with the wise, old house-elf.
"Master James, take care of him."
"I plan on it, Grandpops Kymil."
Regulus met James' gaze when he placed a hand on Regulus's thigh. He blushed when James glared at him out of concern, his insides doing somersaults.
"Don't be stupid, Reggie. You don't have to be alone ever again; you've got me. And I'm not going anywhere."
OoO
A couple of days later, Regulus was studying in the library. Well, he wasn't studying for his lessons because he had already caught up with his homework for the week.
He had asked Professor Flitwick for his signature for the Restricted Section; he had found a thick book dedicated to Transfiguration and the art of turning into an Animagus. So, he was sitting at the back of the library, neck deep in the book, writing notes on his piece of parchment, as he did so. He wanted The Marauders to know exactly what to expect and if that meant writing instructions designed for two-year-olds, then so be it.
He scribbled away, enjoying the rare moment of being by himself. It gave him the opportunity to relax a little. He still kept his well-crafted mask on and he was ready for if Evan and Barty decided to show up unexpectedly, or the other Slytherins, for that matter. For now, his only worry was whether turning into an Animagus was too complicated for them. He knew James was good—not good, great at Transfiguration—but that didn't matter when it came to the whole process of it.
As he worked, he thought back to finding out he had been made Seeker for the Ravenclaw Quidditch team. It made him happy that he had done something for himself. His first Quidditch practice would take place at the weekend and he was looking forward to being on his broom again.
Regulus didn't jump when someone sat down opposite him. He didn't look up until he had finished the sentence he was writing. He was surprised to see Remus was the one sitting in front of him, a pile of books and a few pieces of parchment spread out on the desk before him.
Regulus raised his eyebrows and Remus gave him a small smile. He looked tired, and very pale. Regulus's eyes narrowed with concern as he spotted a few fresh scars on Remus's neck. He hadn't seen Remus last night and he knew why. He couldn't help but think of James, knowing that it would have been hard to see one of his best mates like that in the Hospital Wing.
"Mind if I join you? I need to catch up on homework," Remus said.
"Go ahead, do you need any help?" Regulus asked, his voice just above a whisper.
Remus stared at him for a long moment, before smiling, shaking his head.
"No, thank you, I'll be fine. Besides, it looks like you're too busy to help, anyway," Remus said, and Regulus hid a blush. He shrugged sheepishly, though he made sure that Remus couldn't see the title of the book.
"Personal project," Regulus replied. "I wouldn't mind stopping for a bit, though." He wanted to try and help Remus. If that meant helping him with his homework, then fine. He'd help as best he could.
Remus raised an eyebrow; he looked like he wanted to ask about the project but decided better of it. "I've got one question for you, Regulus."
Regulus furrowed his eyebrows together in confusion but nodded. "Which is?"
"You love him, don't you?"
Regulus's eyes widened slightly and he froze. How had Remus found out? His thoughts went into overdrive as he tried to formulate an answer. He opened his mouth only to close it again, and when it took him longer than a couple of minutes to respond, Remus grinned widely.
"I knew it," Remus said and Regulus groaned lowly, glaring at Remus half-heartedly.
Before he could defend himself, books slammed on the table loudly and Regulus managed to recover from the shock of Remus's words as he put his well-crafted mask back into place. Three girls joined the table, and Regulus recognised them to be in James's year. One had long, straight red hair, she had pale skin with freckles and a sweet smile which was aimed directly at Remus. Another had long, wavy blonde hair, blue eyes, pale skin and a cheeky grin that reminded him of Sirius. The third girl, sitting next to the blonde, was dark-skinned and had very curly brown hair, with a kind smile on her face.
"Remy, we knew you'd be here. D'you need help with the homework?" the blonde one asked, while the red-headed girl rolled her eyes fondly.
"He'll say no, Marls. He always does," she said and Remus chuckled, shaking his head.
Regulus was deciding if he should leave or not. It wasn't his fault that he was now sitting with four Gryffindors; they had come to his table. Not the other way round. He wasn't entirely sure how to act. And if he was being honest, he was seriously thinking of leaving and studying in the common room instead.
If any of the Slytherins saw him now, his whole plan would be in pieces.
"I'm fine, thank you, I'll finish all this by the end of the week," Remus said with a smile on his face.
Regulus wasn't even sure if the girls had noticed his presence.
"It's Thursday," Regulus felt like he had to add, and Remus chuckled tiredly.
"I know that," Remus replied and Regulus shook his head in disbelief.
"Aren't you Sirius's brother?" the red-headed girl asked, and Regulus nodded once in response before returning to focus on his piece of parchment.
"He used to be friends with the Marauders, but he changed. Girls, he's bad news. I don't think we should be here, and neither should you, Remy," the blonde one said in an attempted whisper, and Regulus couldn't help but scoff.
So much for subtlety, he thought.
That answers that question.
He started to pack up his stuff, placing his book in his bag first, then sorting out his pieces of parchment. He stayed silent as he did this, not wanting to cause a confrontation. Although he had a lot of words to say to the blonde, he just wasn't going to speak his mind. Well, he'd try not to, anyway.
"I don't know if you've noticed, Marlene, but the other tables are packed. I had to sit somewhere. And he's not that bad, actually," Remus defended him and Regulus did his best not to smile at that.
Once he had finished packing up his things, he glanced at the group of girls. He found the red-headed one looking at him, studying him.
He ignored her and turned to Marlene. "Yes, you could listen to what everyone is saying about me, or, you could make up your own mind. Don't worry though, I'll make the decision easier for you. I'm horrible, I'm mean, and I am nothing like my brother -" he frowned when he was interrupted.
" - The pair of you are so dramatic when you want to be," Remus muttered loud enough for them both to hear.
"I'm not dramatic," Regulus replied, and Remus raised one eyebrow at him. "I'm not," Regulus repeated, feeling the need to defend himself. Though it sounded like he was convincing himself, more than the others.
"Wait," the red-headed girl said, and Regulus blinked at her as she spoke again,. "You stuck up for Pandora, didn't you?"
Regulus glared. So that was the girl's name, he thought. "Who told you that?" he asked.
"Severus," she replied. "Severus Snape." At the look Regulus gave her, she added, "What? He's my friend! Why is everyone always so shocked by that?"
Regulus raised his eyebrows. "Interesting choice of friends. I'd be careful of him, if I were you," he said.
Evan and Barty talked a lot, and Evan was actually a complete gossip. When he talked about Snape, which wasn't often, it was always good. In Regulus's eyes, Snape was another Lucius Malfoy wannabe. But in Evan's and Barty's opinion, they seemed to like their fellow Slytherin. And that in itself wasn't good, not at all. Regulus had a bad feeling about him, one that he didn't know how to describe. But he was doing very well at avoiding Snape.
Marlene sighed and turned to her friend. "Lily, I love you. But he has a point. You need to be careful with Snivellus," Marlene said before turning her gaze to Regulus.
"Just because you stood up for Pandora doesn't mean you're good. I don't trust you, and I definitely don't like you," Marlene said with a glare aimed his way.
Regulus hid that he was disappointed that the plan had worked, better than he had hoped it would. He ignored the feeling of wanting to be liked and trusted. Instead, he decided to act how he did with Evan and Barty. He hoped Remus would understand why.
"Marls, that's a bit harsh -"
"Dorcas, I'm just telling the truth."
Regulus laughed coldly, feeling anger rise up inside him as he interrupted their conversation, picking up his bag. "I wouldn't have to manage my anger, if people could learn to manage their stupidity." He sneered. "No one deemed to be bad is ever truly bad. And no one deemed to be good is ever truly good."
He walked away, without looking back at any of them as he did so. He missed the concerned expression on Remus's face. He missed the puzzled look on Lily's, and he missed the guilty expressions on Marlene's and Dorcas's faces.
Regulus sighed internally, his pace picked up as he headed to the Ravenclaw common room.
He shouldn't have said anything. He should have just walked away when they had arrived. Why had he stayed when he knew what the outcome was going to be?
Because Remus was there, and he was struggling, that's why.
Regulus ran a hand through his hair frustratedly. He stormed through the next corridor, anger written all over his face. He needed to calm down. But he didn't know where James was, and he didn't want to look for him when he was feeling like this.
Someone bumped into him when Regulus wasn't paying attention to where he was going and he cursed out loud.
"Regulus?" He blinked, recognising the voice straight away. It was Evan, frowning in concern at the state of his friend.
"Evan…" he started, but Evan didn't let him finish.
"Come with me, I know that look. We Slytherins have a way of channelling our anger," Evan said, and Regulus could only nod as he followed his friend.
He was taken to the Slytherin common room; once there, they went into a separate room. All the while, Regulus was trying to calm himself. But he couldn't; first, it was Marlene, then he started to think of everything his grandfather was making him do. Then he thought of his mother, and he couldn't get rid of this feeling. The feeling of hurt and the anger that had been building up over the years.
"Wand out, Regulus," Evan's voice brought him out of his thoughts.
Regulus did as he was told and took his wand out. He recognised where he was: he was in a duelling room. There was a dummy off to the side, but he frowned when Evan got his wand out too.
"I'm not fighting you," Regulus managed to say through his overflow of emotion.
"Yes, you are, Reg. Besides, the dummy is a bit useless. Better to get the first hand experience," Evan replied, and Regulus didn't say much more after that.
He noticed the small crowd around them;, he noticed that one of the Slytherin Prefects had also joined to witness the spectacle.
"Professor Slughorn says not to do this without a Prefect present. You're lucky it's me. Are you ready?"
"Thanks, Flint. We're ready," Evan said.
"The first and only rule is no unforgivables," the Perfect said and nodded to them, letting them know that it was okay to begin.
Evan struck first, shouting, "Stupefy!"
Regulus dodged it, but only just. He smirked and decided to play the game.
He aimed at Evan's legs, then moved to his feet at the last minute, whispering the spell for a Trip Jinx. When Evan fell over, he smiled, a little proud and slightly amused at the expression on his friend's face.
Evan didn't wait and said loudly, "Locomotor Mortis!"
Regulus jumped up and avoided the Jinx. He spun around when he landed and said the first attack spell that came to mind, "Rictusempra!"
Evan burst into laughter, not being able to dodge the hex in time. The small crowd laughed and Regulus grinned, noticing that he had already calmed down slightly from how he had been feeling before the duel. Before he had a chance to hit Evan with a spell again, Evan recovered and smirked at him.
"Serpensortia," Evan said.
Regulus blinked back his surprise when a snake came out of Evan's wand, hissing, turning to face him. Regulus gulped and thought quickly.
"Fumos!" he casted quietly. A defensive cloud surrounded him and the snake that was in front of him. He had read somewhere that snakes didn't like smoke, and this was the closest thing to that. Regulus was relieved when the snake moved away from the cloud, turning towards Evan, whose eyes widened, his smirk vanishing.
Regulus didn't know what to do; he was only a third year. He knew a lot of offensive spells, having read many books over the summer. But that didn't mean he could actually cast them yet.
"Reg, don't just stand there! Do something!" Evan said with a shaky breath.
Fuck it, he thought, trying to remember the spell for vanishing the snake and the exact wand movements. He could do it, right?
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Vipera Evanesca," he spoke, his eyes opening wide when he heard excessive hissing as the snake vanished. Just in time. If he hadn't… Evan could have been bitten.
The crowd clapped slowly and Regulus ran over to Evan, his worries about everything else gone, as he rushed to see if his friend was okay.
"Damn it, Evan, you idiot! Why a snake?" Regulus questioned, and Evan just grinned weakly at him.
"For fun?" Evan replied helplessly.
The Slytherin Prefect walked over to them, as Regulus rolled his eyes at Evan, whacking him on the arm, both breaking out into light laughter.
"Well, Black, I'm impressed. If you must know, not everyone can impress me," Flint said. Regulus smiled slightly, his well-crafted mask hiding his surprise as the Prefect continued, "If there was ever any doubt you weren't a Black, there isn't now. Welcome home," Flint patted him on the shoulder as he left Regulus speechless.
Evan nudged him in the side of his hips, his grin back in place. "You're an honorary Slytherin, now. One of us," Evan said.
Regulus' lips turned upwards, almost into a smile, but not quite. The anger he had been feeling was gone; he was glad that he had bumped into Evan. He was always there for him. Like James.
He felt like he could trust Evan.
"Which of us is going to tell Barty?" Evan asked, still grinning.
Regulus smirked. "Oh, we're going to prank him first. Then we'll tell him together!" he replied.
They ran out of the duel room together, in search of the third member in their trio. As they ran, Regulus had one thought on his mind.
His grandfather would be pleased.
The plan was falling into place.