Chapter 16: Break A Leg

Summary:

TW - mentions of SH, and Walburga being a b*tch.

Chapter Text

"Good luck, Regulus!"

Regulus nodded in thanks to one of his Ravenclaw roommates, putting on a confident smile as he ate his breakfast in his Quidditch gear, the number seven written in big bold letters on the back of his team's robe. He wasn't that hungry, his nerves were getting the better of him, but he was trying not to let that show or think about it too much for that matter. His first game ever would be taking place in about fifteen minutes time against Gryffindor. His brother and James were chattering away with their team crowded around them, grinning and laughing.

His heart quickened, catching James looking at him. He hid his blush as James mouthed 'good luck' to him. Regulus broke eye contact, looking down at his food as he tried to hide a smile.

"Hello, Regulus. I think I'll have the scrambled egg too; I don't fancy the bacon. The nargles have claimed it." Hearing Pandora's voice calmed him somewhat, he let a smile slip past his well-crafted mask, shaking his head in disbelief.

When Pandora had first sat with him, about a week after he had defended her, he had been surprised and had felt slightly awkward. But after a couple of meals spent with the witch, he found he liked their dynamic, quite a lot, in fact. She would sometimes talk to him about the homework or about potions, or say something crazy that didn't make any sense to him, and Regulus would just nod and listen. He felt like that was all she needed: someone for her to talk to. In the past couple of days, Regulus had opened up, just slightly, about his personal life to her. He didn't see any reason to hide himself from her as she already knew, before he did, about him being in love with James.

And he didn't care if the Slytherins saw him with her, because, well... Because of what had happened the other week with Evan. They respected him and he was going to use that to his full advantage, without being too obvious he was doing so, of course.

"The toast also had nargles around it, so I went with cereal," Regulus responded softly.

Pandora smiled sweetly at him. "Don't let James distract you today," she commented quietly, and Regulus rolled his eyes, using his well-crafted mask to stop a smile at the mention of James's name.

"I won't." At the look Pandora sent his way, Regulus groaned, shaking his head in disbelief. "I won't, I swear."

"Mhmm," Pandora replied with a grin, and Regulus's lips tugged upward nearly into a smile as he finished his cereal. Seeing other Quidditch players making their way out of the Great Hall, he stood up and took a deep breath.

All he had to do was catch the Golden Snitch.

Easy enough, right?

The walk to the pitch wasn't a long one, and as he waited, holding onto his broom tightly, trying to cover his nerves, he sighed. The cool autumn breeze blew into his face, the mid-morning sun shining brightly through the cold. He loved autumn the most, with the sweaters and scarfs. Wearing his favourite beanie was something of a look for him in these cold months.

"Nervous?" David, the Ravenclaw Captain asked him, breaking his train of thought.

Regulus looked at him, shaking his head in response.

"No," he replied, telling a little white lie. A Black couldn't show their nerves; they learned to hide those feelings at a young age. Some habits were harder to break free from than others; he had only just stopped chewing his nails.

"Good, you shouldn't be. Play like you have been and we're set," David said, patting Regulus's back supportively.

They flew onto the pitch one after the other. Regulus circled the pitch before settling into his position opposite the Gryffindor Seeker. He nodded and the other Seeker nodded in return. He didn't want to make eye contact with his brother or James; he'd have to act like he did with the Slytherins. But that was okay. He was getting used to that.

He looked down at the Quidditch instructor and waited, his stomach tying itself into knots as he closed his eyes, mentally preparing himself. The whistle blew and Regulus stayed where he was while the other players headed for the Quaffle and spread out. He listened to the commentary.

"On the Gryffindor team, we have Beaters Gideon Prewett and Sirius Black. Chasers: James Potter, Fabian Prewett and Connor Thomas. Keeper: Elliot Wood; and Seeker: Rachael Smith."

"On the Ravenclaw team, we have Beaters David Andrews and Edward Cormac. Chasers: Azalea Collins, Billy Davies and Charlie Stretton. Keeper: Eric Bradley; and Seeker Regulus Black."

Regulus bit his bottom lip nervously, eyes narrowing as he scanned the pitch for any sign of the winged golden ball. As he looked to the crowds, he couldn't help but spot both Evan and Barty in the stands, talking to each other while focusing on watching the match. He smiled internally, and he also spotted Pandora over by the Ravenclaw stands, cheering and clapping as Billy had just scored.

"Great start for Ravenclaw, ten points! But Smith intercepts their throw and passes to Potter, who speeds to the Gryffindor posts. The Ravenclaw Chasers follow closely behind -" Regulus held his breath as he watched James, and he smiled internally when he watched James score for Gryffindor. Regulus couldn't help but be happy for James even though they were on different teams. "-and Potter scores! 10-10!"

Regulus decided to change his position, so he flew over to where their Captain was, who said, "Regulus, stop watching the game and -"

"Look out for the Golden Snitch. I know what my job is, Andrews," Regulus retorted, not in the mood for David's usual comments.

The Captain nodded and intercepted Fabian Prewett passes. Regulus was slow in reacting as David flew past with Davies following close behind. Then the twins and Thomas from Gryffindor were on their tails. His heart quickened slightly when James slowed down as he flew by Regulus.

"Alright, Reggie?" James said with his Potter grin, and Regulus's lips turned upwards into a smile, rolling his eyes.

"Alright, Jamie? Move, you're distracting me," Regulus replied and hated the smirk that shone on James's face.

"Is that a confrontation between Potter and Black?" the commentator questioned, which both boys ignored though Regulus frowned and made sure to have a neutral expression on his face as he felt eyes on them.

"Oh, yeah? Is it my dashing good looks and charming personality -"

Regulus hid his blush; he couldn't even say no to that. Instead, he avoided the question. "You're in the way. I can't see the Golden Snitch behind your beautiful, scruffy hair," he said without thinking, and his eyes widened as he saw James's expression change when James realised what Regulus had said.

"You -"

Regulus didn't hear the rest of whatever James was about to say as he saw something golden hovering over by the Ravenclaw goal posts. He winked at James as he left, diving straight to the posts in question.

As he did so, he heard the commentator speak, "Regulus Black has caught sight of the Golden Snitch, and Rachael Smith is not far behind him."

Regulus picked up the pace as he weaved around the pitch, trying to throw the other Seeker off his course. When the Golden Snitch changed its direction, shooting sharply upwards, he did the same. Regulus flew up high, holding his breath as he got closer.

The winged golden ball was almost at his fingertips.

"Regulus! Watch out!"

He didn't know who tried to warn him. All he knew was that one second, he had been reaching for the Golden Snitch and the next, everything had gone black.

Regulus didn't know how long he had been out for. He heard voices as he tried to open his eyes.

"Do we know if he caught the Golden Snitch?"

"Eric, that really isn't the most important question right now. The match was stopped; we drew. What matters is if he's still alive." David, Regulus thought. And Eric. So, they had stopped the match because of him? Why ?

He groaned. He had a pounding headache and he tried to move his fingers but had no such luck; though he was surprised when he felt something small and round in the palm of his left hand which was closed into a fist. The Golden Snitch. He had caught it! If only he could tell them that.

"Everyone, back. You shouldn't be crowding him nor should you be here for that matter. Go, shoo!" Madam Pomfrey's voice calmed his headache, but he was still in pain all over. The Hospital Wing was quiet.

"Can you hear me, Mr Black? Where does it hurt?" Madam Pomfrey asked.

"Everywhere," he struggled to say.

"Yes, I was afraid that was the case. You've got several fractured bones and a broken collar bone. That fall was one of the most severe I've ever seen. You need to be more careful, young man."

Regulus sighed heavily. So the fact that he couldn't open his eyes without being in pain was to go with the accident; well, that made sense. Probably. He drifted back to sleep, too tired and in too much pain to do anything else.

When he stirred again, he still didn't know how long it had been, but what he did know was that someone was holding his hand softly and someone kissed his forehead, playing with his hair. Regulus tried to smile; he knew exactly who it was.

"You promised you wouldn't get hurt, Reggie," James whispered.

Regulus's heart ached as he managed to open his eyes this time. "It wasn't my fault," he murmured. "But guess what, Jamie?"

"Reggie! It's been hours." James sounded all too happy to hear him speak. "Madam Pomfrey contacted your parents. It's bad, Reg. Really bad!" James's voice was full of worry and concern. "Wait, what? What am I guessing?"

Regulus chuckled lightly, but it turned into a cough of pain. "I caught the Golden Snitch. It's in my hand. Keep it," he said.

"But we have to tell them -"

" - No, we don't. It was a draw. They don't know what happened to the Golden Snitch and they don't care. It's yours. My parents will take me home, I'm sorry," he whispered, tiredness creeping up on him. His headache was still there, but it was manageable. Just about.

"You have nothing to apologise for, Reggie. I'll see you when you get back," James replied.

Regulus blushed deeply when James kissed him gently on the lips. Regulus kissed him back in a daze, missing James's soft touch the moment he broke the kiss. Regulus missed the warmth of James's hand as James left the Hospital Wing.

Regulus closed his eyes once more, this time with a smile on his face.

OoO

"I'm taking him home, Madam Pomfrey."

He recognised that voice straight away and internally grimaced. His mother.

"I really do think he should stay here, Mrs Black. He is in no condition to move," Madam Pomfrey said matter-of-factly.

"I'll decide what is best for him, thank you very much!" his mother snapped and Regulus couldn't help but be scared of the tone of voice she used as heavy footsteps walked towards him. He didn't want to open his eyes; he didn't want to have to move at all. But it was his mother who would decide all of that.

"Regulus Black! Wake up!" she ordered him sternly and so loudly that it hurt his ears.

"I -" Madam Pomfrey started to speak, but his mother interrupted.

" This is a family matter, Healer."

Regulus groaned as he opened his eyes; he squinted to adjust to the light and the pain. He looked at his mother and then at Madam Pomfrey, who couldn't hide the worried expression on her face as Regulus attempted to sit up.

"Hello, Mother," he said, his voice hoarse and dry. He was in a lot of pain as he sat up on the bed, his shoulder stinging as he moved.

"Regulus, you look fine to me," she said.

Regulus laughed coldly, not believing what he was hearing. "Yes, Mother, it's fine that I'm in this amount of pain. I fell and fractured several bones, and that's absolutely fine. Of course it is," Regulus spoke with as much sarcasm as he could muster, using his well-crafted mask to hide the fear that shone in his eyes at the look his mother gave him.

"Come now, Regulus. I'll speak to you in the privacy of our own home," his mother said, the look in her eyes warning him not to argue any further.

As he stood up, he cried out, tears filling his eyes as he placed one hand on his shoulder and the other against his ribs. Regulus stared at his mother; he was not going to cry in her presence. He stared at her forcefully and limped over to where she was standing. He thought about how James's mother was always so kind and caring, the exact opposite of his own. The mother that he should have had but was never going to have. Regulus was glad that Sirius was going to escape; he didn't want him to be in their hell any longer than he needed to be.

They used the fireplace in Madam Pomfrey's office, and Regulus nodded to her in thanks. She looked like she wanted to disagree with his mother, like she wanted to help. But there wasn't much she could do when it came down to what his mother wanted.

"Grimmauld Place," Regulus said, his voice holding no emotion. He stumbled out of the fireplace, screaming in pain and holding back the tears as he fell onto the cold, stone floor.

His mother arrived soon after him and laughed at the state he was in.

"As a Black, we expect you to hold up to our family standards. Losing your first game is not one of those, Regulus."

"I… I didn't lose!" Regulus replied, full of hurt as he tried to get up from the floor, but he didn't succeed. He collapsed once again, groaning through his pain and frustration.

"You did, and you embarrassed our family. For that, you'll stay here until you remember how to behave like one of us. Oh, we know about your circle of Sytherins, but that is not enough. The first thing you should know is we don't need anyone. They need us. Get off the floor. You're more of a disappointment than your brother."

Regulus couldn't believe what he was hearing. It was all for nothing. He only had one job: to make up for his brother's mistakes. He should have listened. It wouldn't have been so bad if only he had listened.

He slowly, but surely, stood up. Regulus glared at his mother with resentment in his eyes. She looked at him with her head held high, and he stuck his middle finger up at her as he limped out of the room.

Once he had managed to get to his room, Regulus slammed the door shut and made his way to his bed with nothing but determination. He wasn't sure how long it would take him to heal, but he didn't care about that. What he cared about was how James and Sirius were going to do to the person who had hit the Bludger in his direction.

OoO

Two weeks of hell later, and Regulus was ready to give up. He had heard his mother's lectures along with his fathers taunts and had gotten used to the torment of living at 12 Grimmauld Place with them. But this time, he listened.

He didn't feel anything; they could shout and shout and he still wouldn't cry.

Pain made him stronger.

Yet, when the house was quiet and it was the dead of night, Regulus rolled his long sleeves up to reveal fresh scars. He closed his eyes, taking his Muggle pocket knife out as his hand shook.

He was never going to be enough.

OoO

Regulus was wearing dark-green long sleeves under his school shirt and jumper to cover up his scars. He arrived back at school with dark circles under his eyes and an expressionless face. He wasn't the same Regulus he had been during the match. He was someone completely different now. Someone that had crawled back out of hell and still somehow had hope for the future, thanks to one person in particular.

He sat at the Slytherin Table with Evan and Barty, who looked all too pleased to have him back for breakfast.

"You missed a lot, Reg," Evan began.

"The Marauders pranked the Ravenclaw Table and had like a week's worth of detentions for it. And Sirius -" Barty continued, but he didn't get very far.

"Don't talk to me about my brother or the Marauders ever again," Regulus snapped harshly and Barty smirked widely as he licked his lips.

Regulus ignored the look of surprise Evan sent his way as he ate his cereal.

If he was going to go through hell for the next few years, he was going to do it properly. Which meant he had to tell the Marauders everything and come up with a new plan, one without his grandfather's seal of approval.

But not without establishing his place within the Slytherin circle first.

"You got it, boss," Barty replied.

"You should know, it was Connor Thomas," Evan said quietly, and Regulus glanced at Evan, who tilted his head in the direction of the Gryffindor Table in response.

"Well, we're going to have to do something about him, aren't we?" Regulus said as he cracked his knuckles one by one.

He stood up, head held high as he strode powerfully towards the large doors, Evan and Barty following beside him, out of the Great Hall.

Please forgive me, Jamie. I don't want this. I don't want any of this. I don't want to be here, but I have to do this. If I don't, she'll hurt me again.

Regulus shut his inner voice inside a box and locked it away.