Chapter 1: unfinished business

Summer before sixth year, 1976.

In the summer before sixth year, several things happened. James Potter, for perhaps the millionth time, declared to an annoyed Sirius Black his undying love for Lily Evans and that he was going to turn over a new leaf to finally win her affection, Marlene McKinnon accused said Lily Evans of having a crush on James Potter, and Lily and Severus Snape's friendship effectively ended.

Let's begin with Lily, shall we?

Her summer proceeded as normally and boringly as it usually did, save for the constant stream of letters delivered by her owl, Aurora, from Severus who lived a walking distance from her. The letters, she soon discovered, all contained more or less the same content: a remorseful apology and a beg for Lily to give him another chance.

I gave you plenty of chances, Sev, Lily thought savagely, holding a match to the third letter of the day that she hadn't even bothered to open. Calling me a Mudblood was where I draw the line, though. Funnily enough.

Above all, Lily was a kind and compassionate person, and she had forgiven many of Severus's previous mistakes; the Slytherin friends he chose to spend time with, who all happened to be sworn Mudblood-haters (ever since he had used that word it had somehow ingrained itself into her vocabulary) his ever-growing library of horrible hexes that he himself had invented, and above all, his hatred of James Potter and the rest of his little gang.

Lily had gone along with his despising James because he had good reason - James Potter and Sirius Black especially seemed to go out of their way to hex Severus without provocation and their torment of him had been constant ever since first year. However, she could not deny the fact that Severus always retaliated, no matter how much she pleaded with him to just ignore the Marauders, and despite her opinion of James and his little posse (although, she had to admit that Remus Lupin was sweet and intelligent, and even awkward Peter Pettigrew was tolerable) she felt an odd sense of House loyalty towards them. Although that was indeed where she drew the line.

The culmination of little things had exploded that disastrous day at the lake and Lily had had enough.

So, no. She would not be responding to any of Severus's letters and she definitely would not be meeting him to 'hear his side of the story'. As far as she was concerned, their friendship was over.

The letter had shriveled up into a pile of black ashes onto her desk by now, and suprisingly, she felt only the smallest twinge of regret as she stared at it before sweeping it into the bin on the floor.

Then, she stretched and yawned casually, as if she had just finished a book rather than ignoring her former best friend.

Lily Evans was young and pretty, but she was not stupid, and if there was one thing she had learned it was to stand up for herself. That included ending friendships when they had run their course, and this one had.

"Sweet girl," she cooed at Aurora, who had been waiting expectantly after faithfully delivering the letter. "You've been waiting for a treat, haven't you? I'm sorry - I've neglected you." And she went in search of the bag of owl treats she kept stored in her room for her patient pet.

—

"So, let me get this straight," Sirius said. "You two talked. You had a civil conversation - the first one in five years. And that's why you're convinced she's in love with you?"

"Well, when you put it like that, it does sound sort of ridiculous," James admitted.

The pair were lounging in James's room and tossing a Quaffle back and forth, Sirius having stretched out on the former's bed and James himself draped over the small cushioned chair in a corner of his room.

"See, what I don't get about this whole business is that she's a bird," Sirius said. He tossed the Quaffle and James caught it with ease.

"She is. Well recognized, only took you five years."

"Don't be a git," Sirius retorted. "My point is, she's just a bird. There are countless others that you could get if you're that desperate for a shag. Girls would fall over themselves to get into bed with you. Don't look at me like that, Prongs," for James had narrowed his eyes and was opening his mouth to snap something back.

"I don't want any old girl," the younger boy muttered rebelliously. "I want Lily. I've wanted her the past five years and that's not going to change anytime soon. It's attractive that she's not falling at my feet begging for me."

He threw the Quaffle. Sirius lazily extended a hand and caught it.

"What I'm understanding here is that you're more into the chase, not the girl."

"No - well, yes, but - no. It's about the chase but I want what's at the end of the rainbow. When she finally does agree to go out with me, and she will, Padfoot, I'll still want her." James ran a hand through his hair frustratedly. "Believe me, I wish I wasn't still running after her. It makes me feel pathetic - "

"It is pretty pathetic," Sirius agreed.

" - but she makes me feel something that I've never, ever felt before. Why do you think I've never had a long-term girlfriend?"

"Because no girl is stupid enough to even try anything more than a one-night stand after your career of making a fool out of yourself over a girl who couldn't care less if you lived or died?" Sirius suggested.

James scowled.

"No, you prat. Because I don't want anything with anyone who isn't Lily Evans. Sue me."

"I could do with a little more gold," Sirius considered.

"But this is my real, first chance I've got with her," James pressed on. "And I don't want to mess it up, seeing as it took me five years to even get it. Who knows if I'll ever have another one. She dropped Snape, y'know. After years of friendship. Just like that."

It was Sirius's turn to frown at the mention of Snape.

"Greasy git."

"I agree. But he's not our problem anymore. Especially seeing as he's no longer friends with Evans. I made a promise to her and I'm not about to break it. Catch."

James returned the Quaffle.

Sirius held it for a moment, turning it over in his hands. He seemed to be in deep thought. Finally, he said,

"I can't believe they kicked me off the Quidditch team."

"To be fair, you almost killed Snape," James pointed out. "But lighten up. Look, if you do the same as me and stop hexing people for the fun of it, and get into less trouble, I'm sure old McGonagall will let you back on. She's always had a soft spot for the two of us."

"I didn't almost kill Snivellus," Sirius retorted. "Just scared him a little bit. That's all."

In response, James held up his left arm, revealing a deep, jagged scar that ran along the length of it and still hadn't quite healed.

"You're right, you didn't almost kill Snape. You almost killed me."

"You didn't have to go playing the hero."

"You would have gotten us both expelled. And Moony, for that matter."

"Whatever." Sirius rolled his eyes, the game resumed, and the two were quiet for a while before Sirius spoke again.

"You're really serious about this whole cleaning up your act thing, then? All for a bird?"

James levelled his eyes at Sirius.

"Dead serious. I'm going to marry her one day, you know."

Sirius let out a short laugh at that.

"Try getting her to go on a date with you first, mate."

"She'll come around," James said wisely. "And if she doesn't - well, I've never been too shabby at Potions. I reckon a good ol' Amortentia would sort her out."

"Bull, you're rubbish at Potions," Sirius said easily, and with that, the two launched into a light-hearted argument over James's skills in Potions.

—

The first mistake Lily had made that evening, she reflected, was starting an argument with Petunia at the dinner table.

The Evans' family had sat down to what was undoubtedly the last dinner they would be together for a while, for while Lily still had three weeks of summer holidays, Petunia was returning to London the next day to visit some dreadfully boring man she had met at her office job that January.

The last supper, Lily had labelled it in her mind, and snorted into her beef stew.

Petunia, who was giving a monologue on whatever her mystery man did at the office, broke off to glare at her younger sister.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Lily said, covering her mouth. "I was just - thinking of something else. Completely unrelated. Carry on."

Petunia did so, but her icy stare remained. Lily would have paid a million Galleons to escape the dinner table.

"...and I expect he'll be quite interested in coming to meet you this Christmas, Mum and Dad," Petunia concluded.

"Hi, it's me, the next door neighbor," Lily interjected. Truthfully, she had no interest in meeting whoever her older sister happened to be seeing at any given time, but she was quite annoyed with her sister's constant tendency to act as if she didn't exist, especially in front of their mother and father.

"Will you even be home for Christmas, Lily?" Petunia sighed heavily. "Or will you be…away?"

Five years at Hogwarts and Petunia still refused to acknowledge the fact that Lily went to wizarding school.

"Well that depends," Lily said sweetly. "On how much I feel like meeting your darling suitor."

"Lily - " Petunia started, but at that point their mother jumped in hastily:

"Girls. Lily, you will be home for Christmas. Petunia, we'd be happy to meet Vernon."

"Vernon?" Lily choked out, unable to stop herself. "Merlin, you two are perfect for each other."

"Lily!" Petunia shrieked. "Mum, say something! She's always saying such nasty things!"

Lily laid her spoon down and held up her hands in defense.

"I didn't say anything bad! I gave you a compliment, for fuck's sake!"

"Lily, language," her father warned, as Petunia whined,

"You didn't mean it. You were just saying it to be awful."

"Petunia, I'm sure she didn't mean it that way," their mother chided. "Lily, I do wish you would think before you speak."

Lily glared at her mother, who always seemed to take her oldest daughter's side, and shoved her chair back from the table.

"I'm done. I'm going out. Enjoy your scintillating conversation about Petunia's lover."

She stormed out amidst both her parent's protests now and Petunia's shrill complaints, being sure to slam the door extra loudly on the way out.

One of her more unfortunate traits was her temper, which always seemed to fire up whilst in Petunia's presence. Her and her sister's relationship had taken a steep dive upon her acceptance to Hogwarts and never really been repaired, to the point where she would describe them more as acquaintances than sisters.

It was a warm summer night and the sun had barely set, but Lily still felt goosebumps crawling up her skin as she walked along the street, already lit by lamps despite the sky still being light, and she half-wished she had grabbed a sweater on her way out. And her cigarettes.

Without consciously thinking about it, she found herself making her way to the park she had often played at as a child. It was empty when she arrived - thank Merlin - so she settled onto one of the creaky swings and sat, lost in thought.

Lily never felt particularly homesick when she was away at school, but now, having only been gone for three weeks, she felt a terrible longing to return to Hogwarts comforting halls, where she could forget about the family drama and her estranged sister. And while there was no lack of drama at school, she had always been fairly good at avoiding being the center of it herself.

Except for Severus, she thought dryly. And Potter.

Ah, yes. James Potter. She tried avoiding the thought of him at all costs, which had come easily and naturally to her even when seeing him every day, but after their conversation on the Astronomy Tower that last night before leaving school, he had occupied her mind more than she would like to admit.

Truthfully, she was conflicted on the matter. She had been most taken aback when he suggested the prospect of a friendship between the two of them and despite her agreement to think things over and consider being friends, she wasn't quite sure if she could do it.

Logically, there wasn't really anything speaking against it, especially now that she and Severus were no longer friends. And he couldn't be that bad of a person, Lily reasoned. He was wildly popular, annoyingly handsome, and he was really good at Quidditch. However, he still was an arrogant, bullying prick that would hex and trip up anything (or anyone) in his way. There was no excusing that. She had had long venting sessions with Remus on James's immaturity and constant badgering of her, who had been surprisingly sympathetic on the matter given his closeness with James.

However, there was nothing she could do now but wait until she returned to Hogwarts to see for herself if James really intended on pulling through his end of the deal. If not - well, they had spent the last five years bickering nearly every day. What were two more years in comparison?

"Lily."

A familiar, soft voice interrupted her musings

Severus. She recognized his voice from behind her instantly. She said nothing and stood to go.

"Lily, please," Severus begged. "You've been avoiding my letters. I just want to talk."

"Yes, I've been avoiding your letters," Lily snapped, still facing forward. "I have nothing more to say to you." Her hand had gone to her waist instinctively, but she realized she had left her wand at home. Her hand dropped to her side limply.

"I just want to talk," Severus repeated quietly and she felt a hesitant touch on the back of arm.

She wrenched her arm away and whirled to face him, preparing a sharp retort, but she stopped in her tracks upon seeing him.

Severus looked more gaunt than ever. Dark rings circled his eyes and it was clear that he was neither sleeping, nor eating. It was a slight stab to Lily's heart to see her former friend in such bad shape.

Severus must have recognized what was running through her head and took advantage of her silence.

"I'm so, so sorry Lily," he whispered. "Truly. I - I never should have said what I did. But I was angry, and humiliated. You have to understand. The Marauders - "

"No," Lily interrupted forcefully. "You don't get to blame this on them. I understand being furious and humiliated and there is no excuse for what they did to you. But there is an excuse for you calling me…for you saying what you did."

"I didn't mean it," Severus argued. "I wasn't thinking. It just came out."

"That's not good enough. You said something that you were thinking, even if you didn't want to say it, but it still means you were thinking about it. And I can't forgive that, Sev."

Severus was silent for a moment. His hands at his sides had clenched into fists.

Lily crossed her bare arms. She wanted to go home.

"Please, just give me another chance," Snape pleaded. "I can do better - " but he broke off, for Lily was shaking her head.

"It's over, Severus. I can't do it anymore. We're finished."

She didn't wait for a response. She turned on her heel and walked away.

—-

"You like James Potter!" Marlene McKinnon exclaimed incredulously.

"Keep your voice down!" Lily hissed, looking around anxiously to see if anyone had heard Marlene, but they were strolling through Diagon Alley and despite the large crowds of people packing the streets, no one seemed to pay the two girls any attention.

"No, I don't like him. We agreed to try being friends. That's all. Really."

Marlene seemed dissatisfied with the answer and pressed on:

"How did it even come about? This is the last thing I'd expect, Lily."

"I was sitting in the Astronomy Tower and he found me there. He was the one who suggested it," Lily explained. She stepped closer to Marlene to allow an older witch in violet robes to pass by.

"Well, that's no surprise," Marlene snorted. "It's probably just some grand scheme to get you to go out with him."

Lily shook her head.

"I made him promise to stop asking me out."

"And you think he's going to stick to that promise?"

"We'll have a hard time being friends if he does," Lily responded, and then, in a desperate attempt to change the subject, for James Potter was inhabiting her thoughts enough already without talking about him, she suggested the two stop for an ice cream.

—-

"Well, well, well, if it isn't the two prettiest Gryffindors I ever did see," Sirius Black drawled, sliding into the booth next to Marlene.

James Potter stood behind him, cocky smile on his face.

"Alright, Evans?"

"Potter," she acknowledged him coolly.

"What have you been up to this summer?" Sirius asked, draping an arm around Marlene and leaning forward to take a sip from her milkshake. "Seen much of Snivellus around, Evans?"

"Black," Lily started to complain, just as James said warningly,

"Padfoot."

Lily, taken aback, looked up at James who gave her a wink and elected to join her in the booth. She accepted his company reluctantly but created a small gap between them.

"So, the rumors are true," Black said, removing his arm from Marlene's shoulders and leaning forward with interest. "Potter and Evans. Friends at last."

"I wouldn't put it quite like that," Lily cautioned, and James said proudly at the same time:

"Yes, indeed."

"Potter," she said, turning to him and rolling her eyes.

"And it's going quite well, isn't it, Evans?" James answered. "Well - all five minutes of it, at least."

Sirius was watching the exchange fixedly until Marlene leaned up and whispered something in his ear. He brightened, took another sip from the milkshake, then said,

"Right, we'll be off then. See you around, Evans. See you at home, Prongs."

He exited the booth as quickly as he had come, taking Marlene with him by the end.

Lily stared in disbelief.

"Did that just happen or - "

"They've been shagging since New Year's," James said. "I'm surprised you didn't know. Oy, is that chocolate?" He gestured at Lily's unfinished milkshake.

"Yes. Since New Year's?"

"Delicious," James said, helping himself to the milkshake.

"Sure, just take it," Lily said with a twinge of annoyance, both at James for commandeering her dessert and her best friend for keeping such a secret from her. "I can't believe she didn't tell me."

"Well, can you blame her?" James asked between swallows. "She's shagging my best mate. Two months ago we couldn't have a civil conversation. Now look at us."

Lily said nothing, for she unfortunately knew he was right.

James finished the milkshake and patted her on the back. She flinched instinctively.

"Lighten up, would you? I'm doing fantastically at this whole friends business. Right, I'm off. I'll track Padfoot down and return McKinnon to you. See you at Hogwarts, yeah? I reckon this'll be a brilliant year. What with you no longer hating my guts and all."

"I still hate your guts," she said automatically, but her mind, rightfully so, was elsewhere.

"Yeah, yeah. Bye, Evans."

She didn't respond and he took his leave.

A brilliant year, he had said. More like confusing.