[AN: Ok, so this will be diverging from cannon so much that, like, if you want stuff related to cannon, not the excellent fic to read. But I think I did a decent job clearing up any confusion on why Emilia and Subaru's relationship was so quick and why Puck acted how he did / the contract was broken so quickly. Also, I just put in more questions with this chapter, but everything makes sense in the outline, so bear with me. We will have some OG calamity characters in the next chapter or the chapter after that.]
Subaru's eyes snapped open, his mind racing with thoughts and ideas about the actions he needed to take to achieve his desired outcome. He sat up, his body feeling stiff from the time he had spent lying on the ground. He looked around, taking in his surroundings, and saw that Garfiel had already completed his trial.
Subaru rose to his feet, still feeling a bit disoriented. He took a few steps forward, his eyes fixed on Garfiel, who a group of people now surrounded. He wondered how much time had passed since he collapsed, and he couldn't help but feel a sense of urgency.
Garfiel watched as Subaru's eyes fluttered open, his expression of shock and disbelief. He could see the fear and uncertainty in Subaru's gaze, and he couldn't help but wonder what he had just experienced. He wasn't sure if Subaru had completed his trial or how he had even managed to take it in the first place.
As Subaru rose to his feet, Garfiel noticed his pupils were enlarged, giving him a wild and frenzied appearance. But as quickly as they appeared, the pupils returned to their normal size, and Subaru's expression settled into one emotionless.
Emilia and the others were waiting but didn't see what Garfiel saw. Emilia was concerned as about one hour had passed, but seeing Subaru walking out alive brought her comfort. Roswaal could only ponder what Subaru may have done or learned while completing his trial.
Subaru motioned towards Emilia, "You can go now."
With a heavy sigh, Garfiel relented, giving Emilia the go-ahead to continue her trials. He watched as she gathered her resolve and made her way toward the temple-like area, her steps steady and determined.
This world is rotting. But the truth is I'm the catalyst for the rot. Flugul was the previous, and now I'm the current, but due to Satella surviving the previous calamity, the world is now stuck in a countless repetitions. And the solution… I suppose the correct word for a Sage would be the curse that brings hell to this world.
Garfiel noticing Subaru's change, asked, "Subaru ya good?"
Subaru sighed and spoke in a low tone, "It's funny she said my mind would break, yet hers was the one that broke before mine did."
Garfiel questioned, "What do ya mean?"
Subaru continued, "It doesn't matter regardless. How did your trial go?"
Garfiel's body began tense, "How'd ya trial go? Ya, tell me first…."
Subaru sighed and turned to make eye contact with Garfiel, "No matter what path is taken, it'll always lead to ruin."
Garfiel flinched for a moment at the words Subaru said. He had no idea what Subaru meant, but how he said it almost sounded like he was accepting the idea of failure. Garfiel begins to question Subaru's change as he would've never implied something like that.
Garfiel took his hand around Subaru's shirt collar and asked, "So ya telling me ya just gon give up?"
Subaru nodded and spoke with no emotion, "No. It's just an interesting experience to realize that god hates you."
Garfiel let go of Subaru's collar, "What do ya mean god hates ya?"
Subaru begins to laugh, "A 0.4% chance… it's just almost funny. Whatever fate my soul has been contempt to, I could only compare to that of hell. Perhaps I did die, and this is hell."
Roswaal stared at Subaru silently, only wondering what he was referring to. 0.4% chance? What was he talking about? Roswaal began questioning as he looked forward to seeing what his Tome was to tell him next.
Garfiel responded with anger and a hint of compassion, "Listen, I don't know what ya talking about, but if ya have a chance, ya take it. What's da point in doing nothing if ya do have a chance? Don't let em trials change who ya are."
Subaru replied, "Garfiel, you don't get it."
Garfiel stood up and faced Subaru directly, "Maybe I don't, but did I say something that ain't true? Tell me, are ya jus gon accept it? I can almost smell the dread coming from ya."
Subaru's face resembled that of someone dead. He could function, but his emotions were gone, empty, a vessel of what a person once was. For a person who lives to suffer endlessly, a comparison to hell would be the correct response to what he witnessed.
Garfiel punched Subaru in the face knocking him back on the ground, "Don't give me dat crap. When ya first got here, I had a bit of respect for ya, but now ya just look like a bitch. If ya got a chance, den takes it before ya can't anymore. I don't care if ya think ya the Witch of Envy or whatever ya thinking but stop being a bitch, Subaru."
Witch of Envy? Why would Garfiel, out of anyone, make a decent point… if I do have a chance, I should take it. The only thing Garfiel was missing was what I was referring to. If my existence is only to suffer, the least I could do is try to end this world's repetition.
One that would save the world and let the person they care for die, one that would save the person they cared for and let the world die, and one that would destroy the world to let it survive. It's all a bunch of contradictions.
It's ironic perhaps Puck knew the outcome and wanted to kill me to prevent it. Not many with a soul would be willing to accept it.
Subaru stood up from Garfiel's punch, "Thank you."
Garfiel sighed, "How long is dem trials gon take if Emilia gon has to take three?"
Subaru shrugged, "No idea. Garfiel, what will you do if the Sanctuary is freed?"
Garfiel thought of the question for a moment. He never intended to leave this place, but he almost wanted to see what Subaru feared. He wanted to see what Subaru feared for the future. He wanted to be like the one he learned to fight from. The one who helps save the world from whatever may be coming.
Garfiel responded, "How bout this… I will join ya group if Emilia clears da trials. When you first came here, you seemed unafraid of anything, even dying, and you are now afraid of something after ya trial ya. I wan to see what made that fearless person change."
Subaru welcomed, "Why not."
After about three hours passed, Emilia walked out of the trial room. She was shedding tears, but she was more composed than Roswaal expected. He doubted Emilia could complete the trial without Subaru's help. However, when Emilia walked out, she had a face of contentment as she completed it.
Subaru watched her walk up to him and ask, "Why?"
Subaru saw that she was shedding tears, not for herself. He begins to question if Echidna showed her the future trials… the one with the 0.4% likelihood of happening. Subaru watched as Emilia walked down the stairs of the shrine towards him with a face of dread similar to his own when he walked out.
Subaru responded, "Emilia, are you alright?"
Emilia walked closer and grabbed Subaru's hand, her eyes still shedding tears, "Subaru… are you alright?"
What does she mean? What did she see in her trials? What the hell did Echidna do?
Subaru nodded, "Yeah, I'm fine."
Emilia stared at Subaru's eyes, void of emotion, "Subaru, please just don't… the burden doesn't have to only fall on you."
Subaru stared at the amethyst eyes that only cared for and loved him. The same eyes that have cared and loved for him countless times over. Another curse to the Sage's contradiction. Emilia was what Subaru longed for no matter what happened in each cycle. He now understood why Emilia, in this cycle, already loved him… to torment Subaru in a new way. Make the one he loves to suffer, the same concept he feared when he first arrived in this world. But Subaru no longer had the same fear he did before. He wanted to reject the world's curse.
The others watching, with the only exception, surprisingly being Garfiel, had no idea what Emilia was talking about. Roswaal became more confused after each sentence Subaru or Emilia said, and Ram had no idea what was happening. Garfiel came to a single conclusion, something is coming, and he wants to be part of the fight.
Subaru finally spoke, "Emilia did you complete all three trials?"
Emilia's body tensed up at the question but she regained her composure and no longer shed tears. The past visions she saw were nothing compared to the second or third trial. She remembered Echidna laughing as she tried to break Emilia's mind. But Echidna only filled in gaps that Emilia was yet to understand. She had her burdens, but seeing what the future would bring only caused her to focus on Subaru's burden. She wanted to help but didn't know how. She didn't understand everything, but she understood what her heart and soul felt.
"Yess. Subaru, please just don't-"
Subaru cut her off as he decided, "Emilia, I won't. I don't think I can anymore, not if you know…."
Subaru and Emilia stared into each other's eyes as if they did not need to speak to understand what the other was saying. The two were bound by something, whether it be a curse or a blessing. After a few minutes passed, Subaru found the solution or, relatively, a concept. If reality is nothing more than knowledge and awareness, he can change his curse to a blessing. A simple concept, but achieving it requires something unavoidable, sacrifice.
Garfiel getting bored, yells, "When will ya two love birds stop staring at each other? If Emilia completes all three trials, let's go!"
Subaru turned around in both shock and curiosity, "Go where?"
Garfiel remarks, "I don't know, let's just go."
After a long and tiring journey to the sanctuary, the group finally returned to the mansion. The warm and inviting structure loomed in the distance, a welcome sight after the harsh and unforgiving environment they had just traversed.
Exhausted from the journey, Subaru decided to retire to his guest room for the night. He made his way up the grand staircase, his feet fatigued. He pushed open the door to his room and was greeted by the sight of a comfortable bed. Its sheets turned down invitingly.
Subaru climbed into the bed without hesitation, sinking into the soft and warm covers. He let out a sigh of contentment, his body finally able to relax after the long and tiring journey.
As he lay in bed, his eyes grew heavy, and he soon found himself drifting off into a deep and restful sleep. The sounds of the mansion faded into the background, replaced by the silence of the night.
Subaru's eyes fluttered open, and he was immediately greeted by the sight of the familiar garden he had seen when he almost died. The garden was just as he remembered, with its lush greenery and vibrant flowers. It was a contradiction to the dark and oppressive world he had just come from, and he couldn't help but feel a sense of relief.
Subaru walked up the path seeing Satella once again, "Still don't know if you're the one sending me here or if I am."
Satella stared at the raven-haired boy with guilt, "How much do you know?"
Subaru rested his chin on his hand, "Does it matter? I'm not mad at you."
Satella's eyes filled with more shame, and she watched Subaru sit beside her. A small table in the middle uneased her even more, remembering how similar it must feel to that of Echidna's tea party.
Satella stared at Subaru's eyes with shame, "Subaru do you realize how close you were… that witch ruined you before… and I was filled with envy. I never eve-n helped you."
Subaru leaned forward and wiped the tears off Satella's face, "Every time I come here your crying. Even after I tell you, you are not at fault for what is happening. Satella, forgive yourself; I don't blame you for this."
"How? How do you not blame me? I've put you through what you said yourself… hell. My desire to want you to have happiness just caused you pain…."
Subaru still had many questions on his mind, one that could solve everything, but first needed Satella to calm herself. He still couldn't understand why he felt affection for her as he was not the same as Flugul and was almost the opposite. Subaru grabbed Satella's hand and gently held it momentarily before wrapping his other arm around her.
Subaru spoke with a gentle voice, "It's all so strange. I know I'm in love with Emilia, yet I feel affection towards you too. Satella tell me why did Emilia remember her feelings for me? I still don't understand that."
Satella looked at Subaru as her tears faded, "I don't know… You know what I want you to have. One moment you seem like you want happiness too, and the next, you accept the idea of being cursed… and forgive the person who's put you in an endless cycle of pain… why?"
Subaru responded, "Satella, you don't understand that hatred is born from the desire to protect what you love. Suffering is a cycle and a part of living. Without it, happiness is meaningless."
Satella shook her head, "What I've done isn't any normal pain. Subaru, I've watched every time… and sometimes I even enjoyed seei-ing you su-ffer…."
Subaru sighed, "I see now. Perhaps you are the one with the true curse. Every one you remember from before is gone, and Flugul's desire to protect and save resulted in you becoming a monster. You seek death, and desperation sought out another sage to kill you… but I won't kill you."
Satella thought back after the countless times that Subaru's told her that very same thing, "Why are you so kind to me? No matter what I do or how badly I hurt or even changed you, you still care for me. Why?"
Subaru brushed his fingers down Satella's hair, "Why do you care for me?"
Satella blinked, "Subaru, I've put you thro-"
Subaru reminded, "Did you care about me the first time?"
Satella's eyes widened, "Yes… I did."
"So from the start, before you knew me before you knew anything about me, you loved me. I think I finally understand. It all makes sense… Satella, I will free you from your curse." he continued with a small smile, "Both of our memories are nothing more than fantasies. But I promise you I will find the truth and save you. Even if the truth reveals what I fear the most."
Satella felt conflicted, "What do you mean my memories?"
Subaru continued, "It only makes sense. Satella, you're addicting almost another sensation entirely. To kill you would be the same as killing her. Nonetheless, if I die, you suffer. We are both driven by an unwillingness to relinquish what we cherish, which is the cause of our suffering. However, this is the dawn of a new era. The calamities, the observers, and the things manifestations of duality are broken. Two people's love for each other should not directly affect the world."
Satella moved closer to Subaru, "Wha-t do you mean?"
Subaru kissed Satella's forehead and declared, "It means that the concept I thought was the reason everything would fail is wrong. This means another force is at play that is causing this to happen. If that's so, then the truth is that another force is breaking a concept. In other words, the world does not hate us and is likely on our side. Satella, I'll see you soon."
Satella blinked, "I'm soo confused, but alright…."