Chapter 3: reconciliation
The first week back at school passed more or less without any hiccups until the last class of that first Friday, which happened to be Transfiguration.
Lily, already exhausted from the workload the teachers insisted on setting them ("this is your sixth year, students, and life won't be getting any less hard out there!") wanted nothing more than to get the double period over with so she could finally relax in the prefect's bathroom with a long, warm bath. She had been looking forward to that bath since Wednesday, when she had been forced to break up a fight between two second-year Ravenclaws that had resulted in her being poked in the eye with one of the second-year's wands. The swelling had mostly gone down, but the pain had not and she was eager for the week to be over.
She settled behind the desk she had long-since claimed as her own, greeting Marlene who, as always, was seated at the desk beside her. Marlene was absentmindedly flipping through this year's Transfiguration textbook, A Guide to Advanced Transfiguration. Lily couldn't help but notice the bruises on Marlene's collarbone, who had a habit of wearing low-necked shirts under her robes. Lily rolled her eyes at this.
The booming sound of the Hogwarts bell rolled through the classroom just as Professor Minerva McGonagall entered, her emerald green robes sweeping behind her. She looked as stern as she always did as she took her place at the head of the classroom.
"Good afternoon, class."
"Good afternoon, Professor McGonagall," the students chanted dutifully, and by the sound of it, Lily was not the only one longing for the start of the weekend.
"I see we are missing some of our students - ah, there they are," McGonagall said as James and Sirius lazily entered the classroom, followed by Remus and Peter, who seemed out of breath. "You're late. Potter, Black. Lupin, Pettigrew."
"Sorry, Professor," Remus muttered.
"Yeah, sorry, Minerva," Sirius said cheekily. "We got caught up - well, we didn't hear the bell," he explained as James elbowed him and muttered something under his breath.
"Yes, well, take your seats," McGonagall said icily. "And it's Professor McGonagall to you, Black," she warned.
"Right you are, Minerva."
The four scattered, Remus and Peter heading to the back of the classroom, Sirius taking up the empty seat on Marlene's right side and pulling her ponytail in greeting, and James, to Lily's dismay, seating himself to her left.
"Afternoon, Evans."
"Sod off, Potter."
"Friendly as always, I see. Say, aren't you the one who complained we were never on each other's side despite being in the same House? You could stand to be a little nicer."
"Potter, Evans," McGonagall called out from the front of the classroom.
Lily straightened up and ignored James.
"Has your memory been affected by the amount of hair gel you put in it?" she hissed, keeping her eyes straight forward. "Or have you already forgotten what you said to me the night of the Sorting?"
"You're not actually still sore about that, are you?" James asked.
"Yes, I'm sore about it," Lily snapped, and the words came out louder than she intended. "You hurt my feelings."
Several students around them cast glances their way. McGonagall broke off her monologue about what they would be focusing on this school year (nonverbal spells) to glare at the two.
"If I must interrupt you two once more, there will be detention for the both of you," she said pointedly.
Lily unscrewed her ink bottle and dipped her quill in it in preparation to copy down the words that were appearing behind McGonagall on the blackboard.
"Your feelings were hurt? Can't you take a joke, Evans?" James muttered, taking out his own ink bottle as well.
Lily saw her chance and took it, grabbing her wand, aiming, and whispering, "Bombarda", not bothering to notice that McGonagall had fixed her eyes on them again.
The ink bottle burst in a small explosion, covering James and his personal items in ink and settling in a few fiery sparks on his desk. Lily couldn't help but laugh as James wiped ink out of his eyes, cursing.
"What's the matter, Potter? Can't take a joke?"
"Screw you," he growled, then McGonagall was in front of them and Lily suddenly didn't find it as amusing.
"Detention, both of you, my office, six o'clock, tomorrow night."
"Professor, she was the one who jinxed me," James complained.
"And yet I am sure she had good reason to, Mr. Potter," Professor McGonagall responded. "You would do wisely to hold your tongue further on this matter. Detention. Don't be late."
—
That was how Lily found herself in the Trophy Room polishing off dusty old awards with nothing more than a limp rag to aid her with James Potter on her Saturday night.
Imagine how much work I could be getting done if I wasn't here, she thought regretfully, scrubbing at a particularly stubborn stain on a Services to the School Award, Tom Riddle, 1943. From the other side of the room, James shot her a resentful look.
"Oh, don't look at me like that, Potter," Lily complained. "It's not as if you've never had detention before."
"I had other plans tonight," James said. "That didn't include cleaning off…the Most Hideous Outfit Award, Gideon Prewett, 1963." He held up a shiny silver plaque. Despite herself, Lily smiled.
"The Most Hideous Outfit Award? Is that a real thing? Let me see." She clambered awkwardly over the pile of trophies at her feet and crossed to the other side of the room. James held out the plaque for her to inspect. "So it is."
"Reckon they still give them out?" James asked. "Sirius's Halloween costume fourth-year would've taken the cake. He dressed up as…"
"Filch, I remember," Lily recalled, laughing. "He was furious when he saw Sirius prancing about."
"Yeah, ol' Padfoot got two weeks worth of detention for that one. 'Course, it didn't help that he wore the costume to each and every one of his detentions."
Lily hadn't known that, but of course, she hadn't been close to any of the Marauders at that point in time, although it sounded like a very Sirius thing to do.
The two were silent for a moment again, and Lily elected to stay on James's side of the room as she worked on her trophy and James discarded Gideon Prewett's award in favor for a new one.
Then, she asked,
"What's the deal with the nicknames you have for each other? Do they mean something?"
James hesitated.
"Er - kind of. It's kind of a Marauders secret. A wizard never reveals his secret, you know."
"Ah. I see," she said, but she didn't really, for she truly couldn't imagine what kind of secret the four boys could be hiding that would have led them to coin such ridiculous nicknames.
"What about you, Evans?" James asked hastily, clearly eager to take the spotlight off him.
"What about me?"
"Any nicknames in that girl gang of yours?"
"We're hardly a gang," she snorted. "We just happen to get along well, that's all. So, no. No nicknames."
"Huh."
They fell into silence again and Lily concentrated on the task at hand. Then another question occurred to her and she asked, quietly,
"Did you mean what you said the first night? About me and my…high horse?"
James snorted and she prickled instinctively.
" 'Course not, Evans. I was just trying to get under your skin. Sorry about that. For whatever it's worth, I do think you're a good person. A little self-righteous, but all in all, a good person."
"Thanks," she whispered, and for some reason, the comment did mean something to her. "I'm sorry about hexing you."
"Ah, no worries. All's fair in friendship and war," he responded, not looking at her, but she noticed the tips of his ears turning the slightest shade of pink.
She held her tongue rather than point out that the actual quote went "all's fair in love and war", and continued on working.
—-
Lily was late, and she was not happy.
Her detention with James had run over and she was now in a rush to get back to the dormitory, freshen up, and head to the first Slug Club meeting of the year.
Professor Slughorn had first taken notice of her in second year, but since then he had been enamored with her, despite her lacking in the Potions department. He had been thrilled to invite her to his "Slug Club" dinners and she had not missed once since, and most definitely was not about to miss one now.
Slughorn himself was pleasant enough, albeit a bit annoying, but Lily had always been somewhat of a teacher's pet and didn't want to disappoint him by turning down his invitations. Also, she hoped to use his many connections in the wizarding world to her advantage once she graduated.
So, as soon as McGonagall released the two, she was out of the Trophy Room in a flash.
"Oi, Evans, wait up," James shouted, running after her. "You in that much of a hurry to get away from me?"
"No, I just can't be late. Slug Club tonight," Lily explained. They rounded a corner and barely avoided colliding with Professor Flitwick.
"Sorry, Professor," Lily called out, not bothering to stop.
"You actually go to that?" James panted, catching up with her. "It's a load of rubbish, isn't it?"
"Well - it's not the most exciting part of my life, but Professor Slughorn's connections are going to be useful later on."
"Ah, so you're taking advantage of him. You'd make a great Marauder, Evans."
Lily wasn't sure how to take that. They hurried up the staircase to the Fat Lady.
"Y'know, Slughorn keeps trying to get me to go to these little dinners, and I never have," James told her. "Always saw them as a waste of time. Godric Gryffindor," and the Fat Lady swung open. "Maybe I'll go tonight. Fancy going together?"
"If going together means walking there, arriving on time and not speaking for the rest of the evening," Lily told him, heading in the direction of the girl's dormitories. "I'm leaving in ten minutes."
—-
To her utter surprise, James held true to his declaration that he would attend Slughorn's dinner for the first time that evening, so after Lily had curled her hair and changed into a fresh set of robes, she made her way back down to the common room, where James was lounging on a sofa, tossing a Snitch up in the air and catching it again. He had not changed and it was clear that he had not even been in the boys' dorm.
"That's what you're wearing?" she asked critically, approaching him. "You're not even going to brush your hair?"
"Who do I look like, Lily, the Minister of Magic?" he snorted. "Slughorn can be grateful that I'm showing up at all." He pocketed the Snitch and got to his feet.
"Yes, about that - why are you coming, anyway?" She led the way to the portrait, it swung open, and they clambered out.
"To get on your nerves, obviously."
"I'm serious."
"Dunno. To see what it's like. Maybe get some connections on my way out. Hey - like you!"
"What kind of connections can't you get with just your last name, Potter?" Lily wanted to know, for not only was his family filthy rich, their name was also incredibly influential in the wizarding world as one of the oldest pureblood families. At least, it had been before the war started and his parents, Euphemia and Fleamont, made their support of Albus Dumbledore very clearly known.
"You're funny, Red," he retaliated. "Ever considered going into comedy?"
"Ha ha."
They arrived, and slipped into Professor Slughorn's office in silence, for dinner had already started. There was only one tiny aspect of the evening that Lily had completely forgotten, having been preoccupied with James spontaneously deciding to attend, and that had been that Severus Snape was also a regular attendee of Slughorn's get-togethers, and they had always attended and sat together.
She was brutally reminded of this fact as they entered and she stopped in her tracks, seeing Snape seated in between two of his only other friends, Wulfric Mulciber and Gaspar Avery. James noticed her discomfort instantly and took her gently by the elbow, steering her to the far side of the room where there were exactly two empty seats remaining at the table.
"Here, Evans," he said quietly, gesturing at the seats.
Lily was still frozen in shock - how could she have been so stupid to forget that Snape attended the meetings? - and only sat numbly when James pulled the chair out, nudged her down, and sat himself.
He poured a glass of pumpkin juice for her and herself, then said gently,
"Are you alright?"
Lily shook her head forcefully, as if trying to banish the thoughts currently whirling in her mind, and set her teeth.
"I'm fine."
"Evans - "
"I'm fine," she snapped, picking up her goblet and taking a sip. "I could use with a smoke, though."
"Really? I thought you didn't smoke," James joked, and while she appreciated his obvious attempt to lighten the situation, she could only force a fake smile and did not reply.
He dropped it.
—
Snape did not look Lily's way once the entire evening and this affected her more than she let on. It wasn't that she was expecting him to attempt to hold a conversation with her, per se, it was the fact that he had not so much as acknowledged her presence and despite the messy end of their friendship, she felt invisible once more and for the first time in the eyes of the one person with whom she had always felt seen.
James, on the other hand, was antsy and nervous throughout all of dinner, and he continuously cast dark glances at the Slytherins and very pointedly kept his left hand under his robes and on his wand without fail.
Lily had been waiting for some sort of altercation between the boys and held her breath in anticipation, her own hand slipping to her wand when Mulciber passed by to head for the dessert table and lingered a little too long behind James and Lily's seats, but he made no move towards them and she released the breath she had been holding. Even when Professor Slughorn approached the two Gryffindors and made a scene out of how delighted he was that James had finally accepted an invitation - "he shouldn't get too used to it," James had muttered once Slughorn was out of earshot again -, she kept a wary eye on the Slytherins, who had been watching the interaction closely (except, of course, for Snape).
The evening slowly drew to a close and Lily began growing tired, so when a third round of drinks was served, she declined and whispered to James that she was ready to go, but he should feel free to stay. He flatly refused and they both stood to leave.
At the same time, Mulciber and Avery pushed back their chairs with a scraping sound and Snape followed suit, slowly. They lingered whilst Lily bade goodbye and a thank-you to Professor Slughorn - "always happy to see you, my dear Miss Evans!" - and made their way to the door mere meters behind Lily and James.
"James," she hissed as they exited together. "Mulciber and Avery - " She hoped that by her not voicing his name, Severus would stay behind, but she knew this would not be the case.
"I know." James's voice was tense. "Just keep walking. Don't turn around."
They didn't make it far.
"Well, well," a drawling voice came from behind them. "A blood-traitor and a Mudblood roaming the halls at night. Isn't that a pretty sight to see?"
James whirled and drew his wand. Lily turned slowly.
"Back off, Mulciber," James warned. "You don't want to get into this."
Mulciber made a show of looking around the otherwise empty corridor.
"Well, either my eyes are deceiving me, or it's just us. Three against a Gryffindor and a Mudblood. I have to say, I like my chances, don't you think, Avery?"
Gaspar Avery sneered in response. Snape remained silent. For the first time that night, he looked at Lily.
"I'm not going to say it again," James said. There was a dark tone in his voice that Lily had never heard before. "Back off."
Mulciber ignored James and closed the distance between the opposing parties.
"James, let's go," Lily pleaded quietly, but he ignored her, and Mulciber, having overheard, laughed maliciously.
"You hear that, Snape? The Mudblood's friends with Potter these days. That's something you never thought you'd see, isn't it?"
Snape spoke for the first time.
"Leave it alone, Mulciber. They're not worth it."
Mulciber was close enough to touch either Lily or James. She gripped her wand tighter, knowing if she were to make the first move, the Gryffindors would be to blame for the inevitable altercation.
Then, Mulciber did the strangest thing; he reached out and stroked Lily's cheek. She recoiled instantly and he laughed.
"Such a pretty little face," he said quietly. "It's a shame that it's on a Mudblood." He took a step back and spat at her feet.
"You really shouldn't have done that," James said heavily.
Now, James Potter was more intelligent than he let on. However, in that moment, all common sense abandoned him and he did the first thing that came to mind: he drew back his fist and punched Mulciber square in the face.
"James!" Lily shrieked as Mulciber stumbled back, hand clutched over his nose and James dropped his wand and cradled his fist.
Behind him, she saw Avery drawing his wand, but she was quicker, and she cried out,
"Expelliarmus!"
At the same moment, she felt her own wand being ripped from her grasp and she looked over at Snape who had caught it deftly. Damn, I forgot how good he is at nonverbals, she thought, regretting her decision to disarm Avery first.
James had reclaimed his wand now, as well as having snatched up Mulciber's while the Slytherin was distracted, and he pointed it at Snape, pushing Lily behind him and advancing on him menacingly.
"Give me the smallest reason to do it," he whispered. "I swear that I will."
Snape glared at him, his own wand pointed at James's heart. Lily, in her paralyzing fear, clutched James's free arm.
Snape spoke again, but addressed Lily:
"One day you hate his guts, and now you need Potter to fight your battles for you?" he asked sneeringly. "That's sad, Lily, really."
"Don't speak to her," James snapped, and at the same time, Lily stepped out from behind him.
"Go on then, do it," she said coolly. "I'm right here. Attack me. Then again, attacking a disarmed opponent wouldn't be the most cowardly thing you've ever done."
Snape stared at her and she stared back, refusing to back down. After what felt like a lifetime, Snape tossed her wand across the corridor back to her.
"What the hell are you doing, Snape?" Avery shouted, but Snape ignored him.
"Let's go," he said quietly.
"This won't be the last time you hear from us," Mulciber said threateningly. He had rejoined his Housemates.
James opened his mouth again, but Lily, having bent and retrieved her wand, pulled him in the other direction.
"Come on," she pleaded. "We're in enough trouble as is if we get caught here."
"Watch your back, Mudblood!" Avery called from behind as they turned and hurried away.
—
Half an hour later found the two Gryffindors safely back in the common room, sitting on the floor, James viciously cursing "any Slytherin that ever walked this earth" while Lily gently wrapped a bandage around his bruised hand. She would never admit this out loud, but in that moment, she had been more than glad that James had been at her side and she had not been facing three Slytherins on her own, two of whom were clearly out for her blood.
Funny how a near-death experience brings people together, she thought dryly, for a mere week ago, she would never have imagined being able to spend an entire evening with James Potter without fighting.
"There, you're all finished," she said, giving a wave of her wand and binding the bandage. "Almost good as new."
"...dirty, stupid lot of cowards they are," James was saying as she sat back on her heels. "Thanks, Evans."
"Thank you," she said quietly. "Although you didn't have to punch him."
Almost instantly, she regretted the second comment as he rolled her eyes.
"Only you would complain about me saving your life."
"You hardly saved my life," she retorted, and he snorted.
"Oh really? How d'you think that whole situation would have gone if I hadn't been there?"
Lily didn't respond, for she knew he was right. She was lucky that he had been there.
James gave out a heavy sigh and leaned back against the sofa.
"It's only going to get worse, isn't it?" she asked softly. "For me. Out there."
James hesitated, then nodded slowly. "You have friends all around you here," he said, "and they technically aren't allowed to go around threatening your life. But that just goes to show how bad the war is really going, that they even dare to pull what they did back there."
Lily swallowed.
"You know, I used to have these great dreams of being the best professional Quidditch player the world has ever seen," James said quietly. He laid his head back. "Now I know there's no chance of that happening, at least in the next few years. The only real option is to fight, or be killed. People think that Mud - that Muggleborn witches and wizards are the only ones in danger, but really, anyone who dares stand up to You-Know-Who becomes a target. I mean, McGonagall's brother was killed, and he was a pureblood. No one is safe anymore."
Lily was silent for a moment. Then, she said,
"Don't you think it'd be easier to just get away from it all? To run, to go to America, or something? Anything?"
James laughed, loudly.
"Yes, that'd always be an option, I suppose," he said. "But that's not a very brave thing for a Gryffindor to say, is it?"
The next thought that popped into her head was one she had never dared to voice aloud, but she did:
"I'm scared."
"I know", gently. "I am, too. And I'm about as safe as it gets."
Lily hated to admit it, but she knew he was right. James had shown her a side of him that she had never seen before tonight, and slowly, she was starting to realize that there was much more to the outwardly confident-on-the-brink-of-arrogance boy sitting next to her on the common room floor than she had previously thought.
It was clear that she had underestimated him, and Lily found herself afraid, even in the safety of Gryffindor Tower; afraid of the terrible war raging outside the castle walls, afraid of what was going to happen to her when she did leave Hogwarts, and afraid of what she might find out if she did discover more of what lay underneath the surface of James Potter.