Chapter 19: Year 4: Somewhere Only We Know

Summary:

TW- Brief mention of SH.

--

Enjoy Reggie being a lovestruck idiot for basically the whole chapter.

Chapter Text

Regulus's eyes had closed involuntarily at some point on the train journey. He was dreaming, once again, about what had happened over the summer. Only, instead of it being himself or Sirius getting punished… it had changed.

"The Blacks don't need anyone! Love is childish and unnecessary!"

Regulus cried out in pain, watching as she hurt James. His heart ached to be in James's place, to be the victim instead. For James to not be there, to be anywhere that wasn't Grimmauld Place. He couldn't watch, but his eyes were trained solely on James. He couldn't blink, or look away as James's screams filled the house.

Regulus tossed and turned in his seat, sweat dripping from his forehead, muttering in his sleep. Not sleep, no. Nightmare. But as Regulus stirred, he felt hands play with his hair softly and gently, and a finger wrapped in his curls. He felt soft lips kiss his forehead, a hand cupping his cheek.

"Reggie, love. Wake up, I'm here."

The voice was so calming and the tone was filled with so much care that Regulus didn't believe it at first. But he couldn't open his eyes; he kept tossing. It was like he had imagined it.

"And this is your punishment for loving a traitor…"

Regulus jerked suddenly. "No!" he cried out, shaking. Strong arms, that could only belong to his James, wrapped around him and he leaned into the warm, welcoming embrace. He hid his face against James's chest, not wanting him to see just how not fine he was, not bothering to wipe his tears away.

"You're not alright, are you?" James asked softly.

Regulus took a deep breath before shaking his head. He didn't want to talk; he didn't want to explain about his hell or even think about it. He also couldn't let James worry about him. He didn't want James to see how much he was struggling.

A finger made its way under Regulus's chin, and he was forced to look into James's eyes. He gulped at James's concerned expression, almost melting as he took in his appearance. James had grown and Regulus thought he couldn't become any more beautiful than he already was, but apparently, Regulus had been wrong.

He stared into James's eyes, both not blinking, not saying anything.

Regulus didn't know who leaned in first, but he didn't care. As they closed the gap, Regulus's stomach turned, did a few backflips as James kissed him gently yet passionately. He let out a low moan as James deepened the kiss, changing the pace. Regulus couldn't concentrate on anything else, just James's lips. When the kiss slowed to a stop, he opened his eyes to find James staring at something with a deep frown on his face.

His breath quickened when he realised what James was staring at. Regulus's eyes followed James's, his eyes glistening as he saw the scars on his own wrist, a mix of fresh and old.

"Reggie… those scars…" James whispered, unable to take his eyes away from Regulus's arm.

Regulus took a deep breath. He didn't know what to do. He didn't know what to say. How was he going to explain this to James? What was he going to say? Would he still like him… the scars…? He didn't think anyone would see them. Not ever. So, why did it have to be James to be the one to discover them?

"I…" Regulus started but trailed off, his voice cracking as James softly ran a finger over the scars. He blinked back tears when James looked up at him, smiling at him through a tear or two falling down his own cheeks. Regulus's breath hitched when James lowered his head and his soft lips touched his scars, one by one, and gently trailed up to his upper arm and then to his neck.

Regulus blushed when James found the sweet spot on his neck and he let out a low moan as James kissed him firmly there before making his way to Regulus's flushed red cheeks.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there to protect you," James whispered in his ear.

Regulus shook his head, biting his bottom lip nervously. "You don't need to be sorry," he replied, taking a shaky breath before adding, "I told him to go." His voice was hoarse from the scream earlier, cracking slightly at the end.

"He tried to go back, you know. The second he arrived at the Manor, he wanted to get you. I was in half a mind to go with him," James said softly.

"I'm glad you didn't… she would… she would have hurt you," Regulus replied, his voice just above a whisper. He didn't want to look at James, so he found an interesting speck on the floor and stared at it, refusing to take his eyes off it as he blinked away the tears that were threatening to fall again.

"That's why you sent him away, isn't it? So, she could hurt you, and not anyone else? You know, Grandpops Kymil was right," James spoke softly, intertwining their fingers.

Regulus finally tore his gaze away from the speck on the floor and frowned, confused. "Right about what?" he asked James, who smirked at him for a moment before leaning in to kiss him sweetly.

"You're stronger than you think you are," James answered, and Regulus sighed, shaking his head in disbelief. His blush was deepening and his heartbeat quickened when he made eye contact with James. How did he get so lucky? And how exactly was he going to tell James how he felt about him?

OoO

At dinner, Regulus was sitting next to Pandora. It had become a regular occurrence. He was pleased to see her. After an extremely long summer, he was glad to see everyone. Even Peter. He never thought he'd be pleased to see Peter.

"You're home now, Regulus," Pandora stated as she helped herself to some roast potatoes.

Regulus let a smile slip past his well-crafted mask. "I am," he replied, cutting some slices off the roast chicken, before placing them on his plate. "How was your summer, Pandora?"

"It was fine. We went to Wales to see if there were any Nargles there," she replied.

"Were there?" Regulus asked. He never questioned what Nargles were, no. He was sure if Pandora wanted anyone to question what she said, that wasn't part of it. He was just happy she wasn't by herself, and that was all that mattered.

"Unfortunately not," she responded and Regulus hummed in response.

He glanced at the Slytherin Table, making eye contact with Evan, who nodded and winked at him. Regulus rolled his eyes but winked back, while Barty was smirking at him. Further along the Slytherin Table, he noticed Severus Snape, who was looking at the Gryffindor Table; Regulus also noticed a couple of seventh years chatting closely together. One of them was Rabastan, who grinned at him. Regulus blinked back his surprise as he returned his focus back to his own plate.

He didn't know what that was all about, but he didn't trust it. Not one bit.

"James marked his territory, then," Pandora said quietly.

He stared at her, his eyebrows furrowed together in confusion. "What?" he hissed.

"Your neck," she responded, like it was the most obvious answer in the world.

Regulus's eyes widened, his well-crafted mask stopping the blush appearing on his cheeks as he used the palm of his hand, to cover the mark James had left on him earlier. He lowered his head as he focused on eating, fork in one hand as he ate his chicken, his other hand covering the hickey on his neck.

"I think it's sweet," Pandora said innocently.

Regulus glared half-heartedly at her in response, trying his best not to pout.

OoO

"Reg!"

He was wrapped in a brotherly hug, the moment he entered the Gryffindor dorm room, and Regulus smiled his first true smile that year. He was more than happy to be in Sirius's arms once again.

"Siri," he replied softly, closing his eyes and tightening the hug.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry..." Sirius started to say, but Regulus shook his head in response.

"No, don't you say sorry. I'm the one that needs to say sorry because I didn't get you out of that place fast enough," Regulus said all in one breath, blinking when Sirius chuckled lightly.

"You got me out of there at exactly the right time, Reg."

They broke the hug slowly, and Regulus opened his arms the moment he saw Remus, who jogged over to hug him tightly.

"You're okay, right?" Remus asked him, and Regulus nodded, hiding his face against Remus's shoulder. He was slightly surprised to be hugging Remus for the first time, and also slightly scared. He was letting someone else in, and the fact that it was Remus… Well, maybe he was okay with it. Once he got over his stomach twisting knots, and the temptation to chew on his nails, he realised… he was more than okay with it. He knew Remus cared for him, and Regulus trusted Remus. He was the first of Sirius's friends who he actually liked, so the fact that he was only hugging him now… perhaps it was long overdue.

"I'm okay, now. You're okay too, right?" Regulus replied quietly.

"Yes, I'm okay now," Remus responded.

Regulus let a smile slip past his well-crafted mask, nodding at Remus, who nodded back at him in return before giving him a knowing smile as he stepped back out of the hug. The moment Remus stepped back, Regulus was surrounded by strong arms, holding him so tight he could feel James's heartbeat against his own chest.

"Did you bring your notes?" James asked after letting go. Regulus managed to hide his blush as he unconsciously rubbed his neck, nodding. They didn't need to say anything else to each other; he knew why James had called the Marauders meeting. It was their fifth year, and Regulus knew that there was nothing that was going to hold James back from becoming an Animagus.

Regulus took pieces of parchment out from underneath his hoodie, placing them on the nearest desk for the Marauders to have a look at. There were about ten pages filled with notes on becoming an Animagus. Regulus blinked back his surprise when Sirius and James added two separate stacks of parchment next to his. With all of their research together, Regulus realised that they could have done this without him. He hadn't comprehended just how determined James was.

"We've got to read all of this?" Peter groaned while Regulus raised an eyebrow. He knew Peter didn't like studying, perhaps, that was because he wasn't very good at it, but to complain about what they were doing… to help Remus? It didn't sit right with him. But Regulus kept his thoughts to himself as he glanced at Remus, who looked very impressed.

"You know, as much as I still don't want you all to do this… the research you've gathered is… impressive," Remus said. "I mean, Sirius, you actually opened a book?"

Regulus chuckled lightly at the offended look on his brother's face.

"I'm offended, Remus. Deeply offended. Heartbroken even," Sirius replied dramatically, putting both hands over his heart. Remus snorted unattractively, which made Regulus laugh properly, not just a light chuckle. It was like how he laughed with James, only, for the first time, he did it in front of the others. Not on purpose. He didn't realise he had until he felt four pairs of eyes on him. But it felt good to laugh like that, after… after everything that had happened.

"You know, I haven't heard you laugh like that since you were about four, Reg," Sirius said softly.

Regulus shrugged sheepishly, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. He caught James looking at him, and his cheeks tinged pink at the awed expression on James's face. "Anyway..." Regulus coughed, trying to change the subject. "We're reading each other's notes, yes?"

"Yes, that's the plan. For now, Reg, give yours to Peter. I'll give mine to James, and I'll read James's. Then we'll swap until we've all read them, okay?" Sirius explained.

A few hours later, Regulus hid a yawn behind his hand as he read the last of James's notes. They were actually pretty detailed, which surprised him. But they all came to the same conclusion, and one thing became clear to him. They'd have to steal supplies and they'd have to use the cloak. There was no way they could get away with this without the cloak, and the timing had to be timed right down to the second.

He stretched as he rubbed the tiredness away from his eyes before glancing at where the others had got to. He rolled his eyes when he noticed Peter was passed out, his arms used as a pillow on his desk. Regulus turned to see Sirius leaning on Remus's shoulders, his eyes closing. He smiled when Remus wrapped a blanket around Sirius, careful not to wake him up.

After seeing that, Regulus glanced down, to see James's head on his lap as James turned the page he was on. He smiled and ran his hand through James's scruffy hair, without even thinking about what he was doing, until James turned his head and looked at Regulus with a knowing smirk on his face. Regulus froze for a second but didn't move his hand away.

"Have you finished reading?" James asked and Regulus nodded.

"Yes, I finished a while ago. Have you?" he replied, slightly surprised when James placed the stack of parchment he had been reading on the floor next to him.

"Yeah, I read through your notes three times. Yours were the best out of everyone's," James replied.

Regulus smiled. "Well, I wrote them for a two-year-old to understand," he said matter-of-factly, his smile turning into a smirk at the look on James's face.

"You're lucky I lo -" James stopped himself from speaking but not before Regulus spotted his cheeks turning a light shade of red. Regulus raised his eyebrows, his heartbeat quickened, wondering what James was thinking about. What had he been about to say?

"Lucky you, what?" Regulus asked, not being able to hide the curiosity in his voice.

James sat up from his position and Regulus immediately missed his warmth as well as playing with his hair. James coughed awkwardly and tried not to meet his eyes. "Nothing. I didn't say anything."

"What -" Regulus started but didn't finish, jumping out of his skin when Peter snorted himself awake.

"They were making me dance on the moon made out of cheese, I didn't want to," Peter muttered loudly, looking almost frightened as he glanced around the room.

"Pete, you're awake now," James said with a grin on his face while Regulus tried to hide his amusement and disbelief as Peter visibly relaxed.

"I knew that," Peter muttered in reply.

"Sure you did," James responded with a grin. "Remus, is Sirius awake?"

"He's snoring in my ear, James, so, no, he isn't," Remus deadpanned quietly.

Regulus furrowed his eyebrows together at the shared look between Remus and James, but tried not to think too much about it. He checked the time and his eyes widened. It was past midnight. No wonder Peter and Sirius had crashed.

"I better go," Regulus said, stretching as he stood up; luckily, his legs weren't asleep from sitting down for so long.

"I'll come with you," James replied and Regulus blinked a couple of times at his statement.

"It's fine, I don't want you to have to walk all the way back -"

"I'm coming with you, Reggie," James interrupted, leaving no room for an argument.

Regulus sighed but nodded. He waved goodbye to Remus and Peter, who waved in return, before James covered them both with the cloak. He smiled at a still-snoring Sirius as they walked out of the dorm room.

His hand hovered next to James's as they made their way out of the common room. Regulus didn't know what to say to him, his thoughts only on their previous conversation. 'You're lucky I lo…' What had James been about to say? What had he stopped himself from saying, that had made him blush bright red like a tomato? Why couldn't he figure this out when the answer seemed to be staring him right in the face?

"Let's not go to the Ravenclaw Tower straight away," James whispered through the silence.

Regulus furrowed his eyebrows together, not following where James was going with his suggestion.

"What are you planning, Jamie? Where are we going?" Regulus questioned softly. His frown soon vanished, his eyes creased into a smile, the corner of his lips turning upwards when he realised which way they were going.

"Somewhere only we know," James replied, intertwining their hands as they walked down the hill towards the lake.

The lake itself looked gorgeous at night; the stars reflecting on the still water were a sight to see. There was next to no wind, and the only sound that could be heard was the hooting of an owl up in a tree. Everything was so still.

Regulus shivered as they sat down on the bench, but it wasn't from the cold—it was from nerves. Regulus smiled when James wrapped an arm around his shoulders.

"What are we doing here?" Regulus asked, his voice just above a whisper as he looked at the moon, which was shaped like a crescent, meaning that it was the start of the new lunar phase. He glanced back to James, who was only focused on him, which made Regulus's cheeks turn a light shade of pink.

"Watching the world stand still just for a moment."

James's hands cupped his cheeks, his hands cold, but that didn't bother Regulus. Nothing was going to bother him as long as he was by James's side.

"But you're only looking at me," Regulus whispered, and James kissed him softly on the lips. Nothing else mattered to him. All that mattered, at that moment, was who was sitting next to him.

"That's because you are my world, Reggie."