King's Landing - 129 AC
I entered my chambers and sighed. I headed towards the chair facing the window. Before sitting down, I took my sword from my belt and went to lay it down, next to the chair, but stopped as the sunrays hit the hilt.
I observed silently as Dark Sister shone under the sunlight and sighed. I had received the famed Targaryen sword when I turned six and ten, my come of age. As Targaryen tradition, the heir always receives Dark Sister.
It had been weird for me. Since I could remember, Blackfyre would be wielded by my muña and Dark Sister by my kepa. Now my kepa walked around with The Conqueror's dagger.
Six moons later, I was still not used to it.
"How was the Small Counsil meeting?" Clarissa asked me with a smile, even after two pregnancies, she looked as beautiful as the day she came to work for me.
"Tiring," I sighed. "I still don't know how muña and kepa do it."
"You must be doing a great job if the queen had you replace her in the meetings," Clarissa tried to comfort me.
"She only did so, because the healer recommended her to rest so far along her pregnancy," I shook my head. "All I've done is make a fool out of myself."
"Don't say that," Clarissa frowned. "The queen had been pregnant two times before after being crowned. If she did not believe you ready, she would have only had the king representing the crown in those meetings. But she asked you to accompany the king."
I frowned, not really believing her words. Being the firstborn of five, soon to be six, siblings was hard. Especially, when that makes you the Crown Prince of a dynasty like the Targaryen Family and be reminded that one that you will need to fill the shoes of someone as great as Rhaenyra Targaryen. Conqueror of the Stepstones and Iron Islands, First Queen of Westeros, rider of the Golden Queen, The Dragon Queen.
... it was a lot to live up to.
"Now, you have scheduled a dragon ridding session with Princess Baela Targaryen, then a meeting with Queen Rhaenyra, and finally dinner with Princess Rhaena Tragaryen to discuss your wedding preparations."
My frown deepened at the mention if my wedding. At seven and ten, with so many responsabilities and duties, the last thing I needed to add to my plate was decide that color my garments should be.
I followed Ser Harwin, my Sworn Shield and Lord of Harrenhal, towards the dragon pit. As we rode there, I smiled and waved to the commonfolk, who had gathered to receive me as I passed. Another show of the love and appreciation the realm had for my mother. No other queen has ever been loved like this, even Alysanne The Good.
"You don't seem very happy about your upcoming wedding, Your Highness," Harwin commented, after somr minutes of silence.
"I love Rhaena, she is a great cousin and will make a greater queen," I answered honestly. "But I can't handle everyone talking about how we are my parents reborn. A silver princess and a dornish prince." I glared at that. "First of all, I am a Targaryen, no matter my coloring, and secondly, we are not in love like our parents. We are doing this out of duty."
"In love?" Harwin threw his head back in a startled laugh. "You believe your parents were in love?"
"Everyone knows my parents love for each other," I glared at my Sworn Shield, seeing an insult in his behavior. "Bards are sung about it, all the way to Essos. My kepa had the Water Gardens in Dorne constructed just for my muña."
"Oh, they are in love, now," Harwin agreed. "But back then... do you know what they were for each other?" I shook my head, looking at him confused. "They were a crown and an army." My eyes widened at his words, not believing a single word. My parents love will go down in history, as the love thar united Westeros. Everyone knows that! "The previous king... he wanted a male heir. However, Mother Queen Aemma could not give him one. She tried, but with every stillborn and miscarriage, her health worsened," Harwin smiled sadly. I did not know that. "At four and ten, the queen's gift awakened and she saw her mother die... after the king decided to cut her open to save his male heir." I gasped horrified by his words. "Clearly distraught, the back then princess, offered herself up. She would take the burden and duty of providing the king with heirs. She was rapidly betrothed to Prince Qoren Martell, they met and one moon later they were married in Dragonstone."
"My parents did not love each other?" I asked, not being able to understand that. It was so strange.
"Not back then," Harwin shook his head. "They were atracted to each other and willing to build a companionship, but love came after. The Martells wanted their blood on the throne and to keep their titles, having a future dragonrider prince was quite tempting as well. With the Vale heirship being added afterwards, well, that was the cherry on top of the cake. With Driftmark and the Stepstones, coming after their marriage, it only made Dorne much happier."
I was shaken by such calculative reason to have children. My parents have always loved and cared for me... however, knowing we were born just to spread the Martell and Targaryen blood through Westeros... it was too much to bear.
"What about muña?" I asked him, in a broken whisper.
"It is not common to skip one generation, the lords of the realm would have pushed for more kids from the queen or for the king to remarry," Harwin sighed. "But if Dorne finally joined Westeros with their armies? With the stipulation of having Martell blood in the throne? That would have stopped anyone from protested and praised the king for his decision."
"But it was my mother's plan?!" I turned to him aghast.
"The previous king took credit for many of the queen's plans and triumphs," Harwin frowned. "If yoy think she achieved a lot, you should see all she had done as a princess."
"I did not know that..." I whispered.
"They credit her with stabilizing the realm for many reasons, Your Highness," he reminded me. "She worked very hard, as royalty, as a wife, and as a mother. She did it out of duty first, but with your birth she started to fall for the king, and by the time Prince Lucerys came, they were already in love."
"I see," I murmured, getting off the horse. "Thank you for sharing this with me."
"You are welcomed," Harwin nodded. "I'll be waiting for you."
I nodded grateful and headed towards Vermax. "How are you boy?" I asked him, laughing as he snuggled his head against my chest. "That good? Well, we are about to make it even better! Are you ready to fly?" Vermax growled, making me laugh. "I'll take that as a yes!"
Looking up to the sky, I noticed Moondancer already up. But what had me pause, was catching Arrax. Both dragons flew... no, danced in the air. They moved totally in opposite ways. While Moondancer was abrupt, with a rough edge, like fire, Arrax moved like the water, with grace and calmness. Yet watching them dance in the air, they were coordinated and in syncronia. It was beautiful to watch.
Like two sides of the same coin, covering for each other's weaknesses with their strengths. Just like...
My eyes widened in realization. "I'm sorry boy, I'll come tomorrow. I promise you!" I apologized to Vermax, who grumbled but understood. "Harwin! We need to go back to the Red Keep! I have something to discuss with muña!"
I did not even wait for his answer, before getting back on my horse and ridding back as fast as I could. I ignored Harwin's shouts and focused on reaching muña.
"You did it on porpuse!" I accused her, as I barged into her chambers. Luckily kepa was not in and I had not caught them doing anything, once was bad enough. "You betrothed me to Rhaena when it should have been Baela, as she was the oldest, because you wanted us to compliment each other!"
"Took you long enough," muña snorted. "Sit down, we have a lot to talk about." I took a deep breath to calm down, and took a seat in front of her.
Muña looked as beautiful as ever, radiant with her pregnancy glow, smiling at me with fondness. She always did, but for some reason this pregnancy was different. Her happiness was different, almost as is she could not believe this was happening. Maybe it was because of how long she and kepa waited to have my little sister? I did not understand, but kepa made sure that we all knew how delicate she was at the moment and to be careful around her.
"I saw a future in which you were betrothed to Baela and Luke to Rhaena," she explained, bringing me back to the present. "There was friendship there... but no love. You found that up north, which I would have not minded, but..."
"We need a Velaryon queen," I finished for her.
"I'm sorry I have to burden you with this," she apologized. "But you are right. We need a Velaryon queen. The realm is stable, but to keep that you need to marry one of the twins." She sighed, looking out of the window with a faraway look that we've all learned to relate with her gift. "Baela and you are too similar, both made to lead and passionate about it. Being under the light is perfect... but when together, you shine tok bright and blind each other. Sometimes more fire is just destruction..."
"Was this why you never went after Uncle Daemon?" I asked her, smiling when she looked at me startled. It was hard to catch a Dreamer unaware. "There are rumors about... how close you were before you married kepa."
"Yes, it is why I never acted on those feelings," muña answered slowly. "We would have burned each other to the ground. Our similarities were to many and our passionate tempers would have not lead us to an harmonious marriage. The same way, Rhaena and Luke enjoy to step back. To gather knowledge and prefer to discuss things before battling. However, that does not allow for a strong couple to lead Dirftmark."
"I think I get it," I murmured. "We are meant to cover for each other's weaknesses with our strengths... an harmonious marriage and reign."
"Exactly," muña smiled.
"You could have told us," I pouted.
"I could have not," she shook her head giggling. "It was something you needed to learn. It's part of growing up. If anything I'm glad you realized before the wedding."
"Talking about that, I have dinner with my betrothed," I announced standing up. "Thank you for your time."
"Whenever you need us, we are here... for all of you," muña promised me.
With one last bow, I left my parents' chambers and headed towards the Tower of the Hand, where the Velaryons usually stayed. I was to have dinner at Rhaena's chmabers.
"I wanted wanted to apologize," I blurted out, as soon as I entered Rhaena's chambers, making a fool out of myself and confusing her. "I'm sorry, I'll start from… the beginning."
Gods can you burn me down? Like right now? I begged in my head. Please?
"Hahaha," Rhaena laughed. I felt even worse when I noticed her more relaxed than she had been in moons, I hadn't even noticed how stressed she had become. "Ok, start from the beginning," she teased.
Has she always been this beautiful? I asked myself. No wonder, she has been compared to my muña, the one who had received the nickname of the Realm's Delight, so much lately.
"I haven't been a good betrothed lately, if I had ever been one," I confessed. "Ever since I received Dark Sister I made this whole situation about me. How much I will have to do from no won, the pressure I'll be in, the responsabilities that will fall on me. With the wedding preparations and Small Counsil temporary seat, I've been more stressed than ever. Not that, any of this is a good excuse to neglect you."
"You've always been kind and loyal," Rhaena told me softly, with a small smile. "You have no need to apologize. I know that this must be very stressful and trying to live up to the Dragon Queen is hard on its own."
"But that's it! It's not only me that's been under all this stess," I exclaimed. "You've been compared to my muña so much and been already given the duties as Crown Princess. That can't be easy. Just saying that I am the one suffering is not fair, to neither of us." Rhaena's eyes widened in surprise. "Have I ever told you what a great job you've done? How much I appreciate your support? That many of my the things I've had to do I could have never been able to do without your advice?" Rhaena slowly shook her head in negation. I felt like the worst piece of shit at that moment. I grabbed her hands into mine and gently place a kiss on her knuckles. "I am so sorry. You are the best partner I could have asked for. Maybe we did not choose each other, but if I had the chance, I wouldn't have chosen differently." Rhaena's eyes filled with waters, as she quietly sobbed. "Hey, no crying," I hugged her, letting her sob on my chest. "I'm sorry."
"S-stop a-apologizing," she sobbed. "T-this a-are happy t-tears."
"Oh, good," I sighed in relief. I let her cry herself out and then guided her to the table, where the food had gone cold. But we did not mind, as we enjoyed dinner talking about our wedding. When it suddenly occurred to me. "Hey, could you give me your advice on somethin? Even better, could you come to the Small Counsil meeting tomorrow?"
"Of course!" She smiled in surprise and happiness. "What is it about?"
"There's been some administrative issues with the upcoming Tessarion Academy that need to be dealt with before it's ready to open its door to students," I shared with her, spending the rest of the night discussing this issue with her.
Muña was right, she really does compliment me. Pointing out things I had never thought about and giving me information that I have no idea where she had gained it from. The following day we marched into the Small Counsil chambers, side by side. I could see Uncle Daemon's wide smirk, Uncle Corly's puffing his chest in pride, and Auntie Rhaeny's raised eyebrow, but I ignored them all, as I pulled out my chair for Rhaena and went to grab another one for myself.
"What is the meaning of this?" Kepa asked me, but I could see that he was not angry, if anything he was amused.
"Rhaena is my future wife and the future Crown Princess of the realm," I announced, with more confidence than I've felt since I was given Dark Sister. "If there's a decision I should take, I will take it with her. Just like you and muña."
I did not focus on neither Daemon's booming laugh, or the pride in my kepa's eyes. It was Rhaena that hada ll my attention, and her grateful and shinning smile.
I did not love her like that yet… but I could learn to. Something tells me I will, and soon.