Full disclaimers on Chapter 1.
Stop NOW if DRAMA/TRAGEDY is NOT something you are interested into reading, or if it is a bad trigger for you.
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Rizzoli & Isles nor any of the characters from the show. I am writing this purely for entertainment, not profit. Rizzoli and Isles are property of Tess Gerritsen and TNT.
I am not a native English speaker, and I don't have a beta. So all mistakes are 100% mine.
Enough of disclaimers and warnings – read at your own risk. Reviews are always welcome!
Chapter 88
Maura closed the notebook and held it tight by her heart. She was bawling. And she cried for a very long time before calming herself enough to peak into the bounded notebook.
The first page read:
"My dear Maura: this was the best way I could think of to be with you a bit every day. Love you, always. Jane"
Jane had marked every page with a date and a month (no year or no weekday). And each page was filled with what seemed to be a short story or a memory of them together.
Maura understood the intention. Maura could go to that date and month again and again, year after year. What a thoughtful gift… Even now Jane made Maura feel special and loved and cared for.
Maura sniffed, trying to gather her wits.
She heard the doorbell ring, and checked the clock. It was almost 2PM. If it was Angela, Maura knew she would give Maura a hard time, but she doubted it would be Angela – Angela had the key, and would enter from the back door.
So Maura approached the front door, and looking through the glass her heart skipped a beat.
It was Constance.
Maura opened the door, still trying to believe her eyes:
"Mother?"
Constance had not been to Boston since her accident that was meant to hit Maura several years back. Maura had visited her in Europe in the past few years.
Maura opened the door wider, for her mother to enter. Constance walked in rolling a big bag and a carry-on bag and putting them aside, and as soon as Maura closed the door behind her, for Maura's surprise, Constance hugged her. And for Maura's own surprise, she felt herself melting in her mother's embrace.
Constance held Maura for as long as Maura's tears lasted – but Maura had cried herself out, so it was not too long.
When Constance released her arms, she cupped Maura's face, lovingly, and kissed her forehead. "I am so sorry, darling…"
"Thank you, mother… I was not expecting you."
"I decided to come after your message yesterday, I hope it is not an inconvenience."
"Not at all, it is a lovely surprise."
"Have you eaten?"
Maura stopped, trying to re-situate in time and space.
"No, not yet."
"Have you even been out of the house yet?"
"No…"
"What do you say we just go to the club to grab some lunch? It is a weekday, so it should be quiet. I promise we don't need to take long. But you need to get some fresh air." Constance eyed her, concerned.
Constance was used to seeing her daughter once a year, twice if that much, but Maura never changed. So it was scary for Constance to see how different her daughter looked. The short hair, for sure, and looking so young, so vulnerable, so fragile… But Constance was sure Maura had lost a lot of weight and looked smaller than Constance ever remembered seeing her as an adult.
Maura had no desire to leave the house. But she knew her mother was right. She would not have gone out yet, not on her own.
"Does Angela have anything to do with this?" Maura blurted, before realizing she had asked that out loud. Her filters were off, her guard were down. She covered her mouth and blushed.
Constance gave Maura her signature half smile, and sheepishly showed Maura her phone with the text exchange she had with Angela…
Constance had offered her condolences, and said she was in Boston – as soon as she landed. Angela had thanked her, and asked her to insist with Maura to eat, and to get Maura out of the house, reminding Constance that Maura had isolated herself with Jane for almost twenty months.
Maura cried and smiled, shaking her head.
"I know you probably don't feel like leaving the house yet, darling… Twenty months is a long time. You need to ease back in the world. Please let me help you with it." Constance asked, holding Maura's chin to get the hazel eyes to face her.
Maura sniffed, and nodded.
"I will get changed. Would you like to freshen up?"
"Thank you, Maura, I will get settled after we come back. I will sit in the living room to wait for you, if that is okay."
Constance didn't want to give Maura a chance of distraction. Constance didn't even remember the last time she had seen her daughter dressed as relaxed as she was when she arrived, even at home. But she realized she always saw Maura about to go out, or just coming in from the street. This was her 'at home' daughter.
In ten minutes Maura was back down. Constance could see she had showered, and changed in a discreetly dark outfit. She was completely make up free, though, and Constance loved seeing her freckles, that Maura always chose to hide.
Constance had called for a driver. She didn't want Maura driving – she could see her daughter still looked lost and distracted. She also wanted to be able to sit side by side to Maura, to offer any comfort she could. She knew she was not really good at that, but she vouched herself she would try.
"The driver is waiting for us. Shall we?" Constance stood, offering Maura her arm.
Constance noticed Maura didn't shy away from enjoying the closeness to her during the drive. Maura politely inquired about her father, and Constance updated her on his latest whereabouts, as well as about Constance's trip.
"I was invited to teach a three-week course in California beginning on Monday. I decided to stop by Boston a few days early to see you before I flew there."
"I am really glad you came, mother. What is the course about?"
"It is an advanced Art History course, all students are already PhDs. I thought it would be a different endeavor, you know I have not been accepting teaching engagements for a while, but this really got my attention. It will be hosted by the Laguna College of Art and Design, what is right by the beach."
"Sounds interesting. And how is your hip going? I didn't notice any limping."
"No, the last signs of limping are gone for almost two years now, the physical therapist adjustment you made on your last visit was key to resolve it."
Maura smiled gently at her, before looking out of the window. It felt so alien to be in a car, going to have lunch with her mother in their fancy country club, after so long.
The car parked and the drive opened the door for them.
Maura let her mother lead the way, content in just following. After twenty months, she felt really alien in that environment.
The maître took them to their "usual" table, if there was something like that. The club restaurant was mostly empty. He pulled the chairs for them, and offered them the menus, giving them some time to order.
Constance could notice Maura's eyes wandering, as if the menu held no interest to her.
"Should I order for both of us?" Constance volunteered.
"Yes, mother, if you please." Maura knew she could not concentrate, and she would not pretend to.
Constance ordered for both of them, and extended a hand over the table over Maura's hand.
"How are you doing, darling?"
"I am not sure yet, mother." Maura swallowed hard. "I guess I am still trying to get used to the idea that Jane is gone. I had months to prepare, in theory, but I don't think anything really prepares us for it."
"Nothing prepares us for it, Maura. Specially for someone who played such a central role in your life for so long."
Maura smiled gently at her mother.
"When will the service take place?"
"Tomorrow afternoon. Jane wanted a Catholic service, so it will be done in the church she grew up in. Depending on when you are flying, you are more than welcome to join us."
"I would like that very much."
Their food arrived, with a light wine. Constance observed that Maura ate little, and drank even less. She was making an effort, Constance recognized, but her daughter was hurting way more than she let transpire.
Once back home, Maura settled Constance in one of the other rooms – the guestroom was still Jane's room and off-limits. Constance excused herself to get some rest – she had travelled most of the night, but promised to join Maura for dinner.
Meanwhile, Maura sat in the office to get ready for the service the next day.
Angela and Frankie had confirmed the church was all set, as was the music. Maura let them know the flowers, funeral arrangements and cemetery had also been synchronized.
The florist sent pictures to confirm all she had asked, and she reviewed, adjusted, and then approved the arrangements.
She typed and printed Jane's final message, knowing she would need to deliver it. And then she had to brace herself to what to say beyond that message. She inhaled deeply and set to work.