"Why did you leave me?"

"Why did you abandon me?"

"Did you ever even care?"

"Did I mean nothing to you?"

"I don't want to forget you."

"Subaru… I miss you."

Subaru's eyes widened as he woke up shaking. The vivid dream sent shivers down his spine as he wondered if somehow, maybe, that was Emilia talking to him. His face becomes pale as he wonders where Emilia is… and if she's safe. Subaru got off the couch he slept on, and he stumbled. The focus that he had yesterday disappeared from a single dream. Subaru just wanted to know if she was alright. The idea of not knowing is more painful than knowing she would be dead. The thought continued to linger in his mind constantly. He just wanted an answer. Subaru was thinking while walking in circles, not even opening his eyes as he didn't want to shed any more tears. He needed to know what happened, why he was teleported outside the tower, and why his authorities changed. Why did everyone at the tower disappear? So many questions were going through Subaru's mind he could barely keep his sanity.

"Subaru… what's wrong?"

Subaru was snapped out of his thoughts as he turned around to see Satella. The person that brought him into this world, whether she did or didn't remember it. Every encounter that he had with Satella before this was strange. She showed almost romantic interest in him even within the Witch's Tea Party. However, Satella did not remember that, which meant the entire time that Subau saw Satella, it was the Witch of Envy. This person in front of him was the real Satella. It almost relieved him as she didn't repeat the exact empty words she would say in her other form.

'I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you.'

Subaru didn't want to hear those words. He didn't want to be loved. He doesn't know if Emilia is alive or where she is. He doesn't know what to do to stop what is coming. He doesn't even know if his existence is needed. Maybe if the Sage dies, the trigger cannot be started?

"Subaru, I-"

"Just… stop. I can't go anywhere with you because of your Satella. I can't try to find her or figure out what happened. I don't know if I can return by death. I don't even know why you're with me."

Satella woke up earlier than Subaru and made clothing for herself and Subaru to wear so they could travel without being seen. But his words begin to confirm her existence being only a nuisance. How can she repent? She is nothing more than a murderer. If Subaru doesn't kill her, then… she begins to remember what Subaru told her the previous day. He might break and need her help, but… how does she help him when she's only living to try to repent for what she did. She valued her life as nothing. A villain who destroyed half of the world… should just die.

"Satella… I'm sorry. I shouldn't lash out at you."

"I deserve much more for what I've done. Do not apologize."

I'm a curse. Even to Satella, I hurt her too. I should've never told her… she used to be so cheerful when I met her, and now she's just like me or worse. We are both only living for the ones we care for. If it weren't for that, I'd just end my life right now. If there is a hell or heaven in this world, maybe I'm a demon. Did I even do anything to help anyone in this world? No. My existence itself is going to cause Emilia and everyone to suffer. If I die right now… there would be no sage. Without a sage, there's no way the cycle can continue. It's a simple solution.

"Subaru, I made us disguises so we can be out in the open… but I don't think this will work. I want to die, and you told me to live for you, but I don't have the strength to help you if you want to die."

Satella wasn't shedding tears as before. She didn't deserve to cry as that's only an act to seek sympathy. Her eyes were only that of regret and shame.

"Satella, I can't help it. I hate myself, and I can't do anything about it. Even if… my self-hatred leads to Emilia's death, I can't control it. I wish I could. I don't even know what to do next."

When Subaru said those words, his authority of greed responded to his desire. Subaru felt as if his negative emotions were… consumed. He could feel it almost like a mechanism within his body. But once consumed, they gave Subaru both relief and confidence. At this point, he knew it was similar to Cor Leonis' function. However, this was a different ability entirely. He didn't like it but couldn't ignore that he would need to be strong if he wanted to do anything to help. He was a hypocrite. Those are the exact words he said to Satella, yet he wants to die today. As Subaru felt the emotions be absorbed, and in response, he was given confidence and hope. Subaru thought he was cheating, but he would take shortcuts if it meant he would succeed.

Subaru made eye contact with Satella, which he hadn't had. When he looked into her eyes, he could only feel guilt. She didn't deserve this life. Four hundred years of suffering for what? To suffer to die?

Subaru walked towards Satella. He wanted comfort. He didn't want to be alone again. He wasn't the failure he used to be in Japan. He could help this world.

"Satella, I remember saying I would save you from the Witch of Envy, but you do not remember that. Now I'm in front of you, and you are no longer the Witch of Envy. I didn't have to kill you, and I saved you. Now your saved, and you want to die still, " his tone got shallower, "Please don't hate yourself. If you can be strong, I will also be able to. I cannot do everything on my own… whatever crimes you think you did. I am also guilty. I would've started the next calamity, and the thing that saved that from happening… was another sin. I can't make you do anything or change how you feel if you don't want to change. I'm being selfish yet again."

Satella thought about the words Subaru said. They sounded very similar to the words he had heard Flugul say before. She didn't remember the context, but the meaning was the same. She wanted to learn the truth but didn't want to redeem herself. She wanted to know what happened but didn't know how or if Subaru knew. She wanted to be reborn, but she couldn't ignore her past. But she could at least try. If Subaru dies or… kills himself because of her, then that would just be another tragedy she caused. She had the outfits she had prepared behind her and placed them in her hands, showing them to Subaru.

"I'm trying Subaru, I really am. I just can't pretend I didn't do something. But I made us clothing two cloaks that hide the scent of miasma and, well… look nice. I made two straw hats that can cover the majority of the face. Subaru, you have people you love that make you want to continue, but I have nobody anymore. Flugul, Reid, and the others are probably dead by now. Wait… did I kill them-m-m?"

Subaru responded quickly, "No, you did not. I told you I would be honest and won't lie, so trust me when I say you didn't. The clothing you made… black cloaks with red shaped clouds and a straw-like hat… that's from a manga on Earth."

Satella let out a smile for the first time since the conversation started.

"Yeah, Flugul was from Earth, and he told me about manga and Naruso... Narumo... I forgot. But I remembered this I made for him on his birthday."

Why did you do this to her? She was so kind and gave you gifts… what was your reason?

"It's called Naruto though I hadn't read it before I was sent here. But they look nice. I like them. Satella… I read Flugul's book of the dead, which in other words, means I read all his memories. But I can't process an entire person's life memories instantly. I'm slowly gaining his memories, but there are still a lot of blanks. It seems you, too, were… close."

Satella's eyes moved up as she thought about Flugul. She remembered meeting him, and he told her he was a monster. He said to her that she should stay away. She felt bad for him and told him that she was a witch. She then begins to remember the face of someone… who was it? Emilia? They looked identical to…

"Subaru, you said I had a sister… is it Emilia?"
She's going to want to meet her. Is that something I should allow? She can't meet me already but never knew why she resembled Satella… would finding it out make her feel worse? How do I deal with all these things and find a solution? I guess I'll just tell her the truth.

"Yes, she is. She's alive, and… we used to be close. I want to make sure that's she is safe."

"Safe? What do you mean, is she not?"

"When my name was eaten, the world is different… I don't know what happened, but my only guess is that she is either at Roswaal's mansion or Elior Forest."

"You seem quite fond of Emilia. I still don't remember the details, but if she found someone as kind and cares for her as you, that would make me happy."

Subaru flinched for a moment. He knew his future with her was gone, but he could at least keep her safe from the distance.

"She forgot me, as well as almost everyone in this entire world. I can't ever meet Emilia again… Only you and maybe one other person would somehow remember me. I wan-t to, but if I do, I'll just be starti-ng the cycle again."

"I'm not sure what you mean, but you care for her even if she doesn't remember you. That's something that's… I'm glad my sister has someone that would care for her like that."

"Satella, you are not alone. I care about you too. I won't lie, as I care for Emilia the most… but I do care for you, and I don't want to see you act like me. If there's a way, or maybe if I remember something, you can finally see your sister again."

Satella's eyes perked up after Subaru's words. It might make her sad to be related to a monster like her. But she didn't know if she would want her sister to see the truth.

"Satella, how about seeing if Emilia is at Roswaal's mansion? If she's not, then she's… probably at Elior Forest. I don't see… wait there might be one other person. Anyways let's get dressed and go."

Satella gave Subaru the clothing, and the two went to their rooms. Subaru noticed not only did Satella prepare a cloak but a nice pair of pants, a shirt, and everything else for an outfit underneath the cloak. All the colors were black except for the red clouds outlined with white on the cloak. Subaru looked in the mirror as he put on the straw hat. It hid his face, which isn't as essential for him, but still, some people in this world may be able to remember who he was.

After he was done changing his clothing, Satella was already waiting for him. She was wearing basically the same outfit as the two looked at each other's clothing. Subaru sighed as he enjoyed seeing Satella's amethyst eyes, but the straw hat covered that and her ears. As the two left the house, Subaru told Satella to fly again so they could scout the mansion before going in.

Subaru was in the sky at a distance but not too far, so he couldn't see if anyone was there. He then saw a dragon carriage coming out. Looking closer, he saw Crusch, Wilhelm, Felix, and another person he didn't know.

What? That means… did Roswaal sponsor Crusch? Then that means that Emilia is still in Elior Forest… alone with Puck for so many years.

Wait, it might still be possible… I remember Reinhard said that he was on a mission to find the fifth candidate, Emilia, now assuming Felt was found before Emilia. Then again, going to the Astrea family mansion is probably not the best idea. Reinhard could quickly kill Satella and then probably kill me.

Subaru pointed in a direction that looked like a tiny spec of blue.

"Satella, see that forest that's frozen way over there."

"Yeah, why?"

"Let's go there if Emilia isn't there then… well, she'll be with Reinhard, I think."

"Ok."

Wait what? How does she even know that word when Emilia didn't? She usually talks, which is very rare in this world for pretty much everyone. I wonder why…

As the two made their way to Elior Forest, Subaru instructed Satella to search the forest, which she did very quickly. They did not find Emilia nor Puck but did find the seal in Elior Forest. Satella recognized it but didn't know from what. As the two decedents near the seal, Subaru felt a sense of unease.

"Subaru that door… wai-t. That's… I remember her now."

Before Subaru could respond, Satella buried her head in Subaru's chest. She was sobbing, but Subaru didn't understand why. What happened? What does the seal have to do with Emilia? He could try to comfort Satella as he had no idea what the connection was.

"Subaru, let's leave."

Subaru already disliked being near that weird purple door, so he agreed.

"Alright, take us back to our house. The next location will be the most dangerous one."

Satella and Subaru returned to their little miniature version of Roswaal's mansion. Satella was still sobbing, which she wasn't before at this point, so whatever the seal meant was something significant. Subaru and Satella were sitting on the couch while Subaru tried to comfort Satella. He tried to remember as he thought maybe Flugul was related to this. He found something he couldn't even comprehend when he tried to remember.

"Satella, I remember it now. But Emilia is alive and safe. It may be tr-agic but… she's alive."

Satella looked up at Subaru as her tears began to fade slowly. Her memory was still almost like a deck of cards that were shuffled. When she saw the seal, she remembered something else that had happened. But Subaru was right. She is still alive. She couldn't remember how, but she knew Subaru wouldn't lie. She slowly realizes that Subaru has been talking about Emilia being alive this entire time. She felt weak and broken, with nothing to offer him. All she has done is cry or make him feel worse. But she also knew that he wanted her to be alive. Her thoughts contradict each other.

"Subaru, I'm such an idiot… I just remembered something, nd I n't explain how or what happened, but… Emilia is alive, so I can only assume my memories are wrong."

Satella's head was still buried in Subaru's chest as her words were mumbled. Subaru had no idea what she remembered, but whatever it was had to have been related to Emilia. He knew what happened but wasn't sure if Satella could take more of this. Forgetting so much and your life is a four-hundred-year hell is something Subaru wanted nothing more than to cure. But a wound like that isn't something that heals after being free for a few days. Subaru knew the only other place Emilia could be, as if she was taken in by Reinhard… or if his being forgotten led to something worse.

"Satella, I did not plan for this to happen so quickly, but we need to know if Emilia is safe. We are going to go to the Astrea mansion. There is a man that might be there. His name is Reinhard Van Astrea. He isn't a bad person. I… admire him a lot, but since your Satella, we must be careful. He can kill either of us easily. Not to mention I'm forgotten, so he'll have no idea who I am."

"Alright, Subaru, can I call you something else… like a nickname?"

Wait what? Aren't I supposed to give her a nickname… what would be a good nickname? I remember in the Tea Party, they called her Tella, but I think… Stella. My personality, thoughts, and actions… it's different. Did reading that book influence me somehow? I feel like myself, but I'm saying things I usually wouldn't. I need to remember more of Flugul's life, but you can't read through memories of someone's entire life quickly.

Subaru laughed, "No, I think that's my job. I'm going to call you Stella."

"Stella?"

"Yea-h, you like it, right?"

"Uhh, I mean, I guess."

Subaru frowned as he had never had a response like that. People always would say he was good at picking names for things and nicknames.

Satella giggled at Subaru's expression, "Subaru, I like it… I'm just a little nervous about seeing Emilia again. But thank you, Subaru. Now I have two reasons to keep living."

"What do you mean?"

"...I have you, silly. My sister, as well. I hope she doesn't… are you sure I should even meet her?"

Subaru thought about the question. Knowing Emilia, she probably would not like to know this, but he also had no idea how much she had either grown or matured by now. If she was somehow with Reinhard this entire time- wait, that doesn't sound right. Reinhard, even if he was given the mission to find Emilia, I don't think he would be her knight… and no sponsor. It's a gamble, but not like I have any other choice.

"Alright, Stella, we're going to the Astrea mansion. So can you maybe do like X-Ray vision or something?"

"X-Ray what?"

"Like, can you use magic to see through walls?"

"I think so. I mean, I can make a house I don't see why I can't remove a wall."

"Stella… see through the wall, not destroy."

"Oh. Yes, I can… totally."

"Stella, if your lying, we're going to die, but alright. The sun is bright. Let's go."

Satella and Subaru walked outside of their now-called 'The Forgotten House.' named by Subaru. As Satella traveled high into the sky, Subaru pointed south, and the two began flying towards the Astrea mansion.

"Stella… do you have the ability to see through walls?"

Satella stopped her descent as she stared down at dragon carriage below. Subaru quickly noticed but couldn't see who was inside it.

"Satella who do you see?"

"Emil-ia… she's alive, she's alive."

Does she not remember… I think I see what she remembered and she didn't. Wait, who else is inside the dragon carriage?

"Satella, who else can you see?"

"A blonde-hair-ed girl and a red-haire-d man."

Reinhard… which means everything is different.

"Stella, let's go back."

"The mansion… Subaru, I sense a form of magic that is Flugul referred to as soul magic."

"What do you mean?"

"The magic Flugul used… I forgot how it works, but I can't even use it."

"Are you thinking of going to the Astrea mansion?"

"Ye-s… I don't know how it's being used in this time period, but it can break the rules of normal magic and is formed by the mana of a person near death…."

What the hell? What could she be talking about? Why in the Astrea mansion would there be something like that? It sounds like a sacrifice-based spell.

Before Subaru could question, Satella began flying towards the Astrea family towards the source where she sensed the soul-based spell. Satella saw many guards and used a yin spell to travel through the wall into a room. Subaru and Satella stared at the sleeping red-haired woman.

Satella put her hand out as she could only undo the magic. Since it isn't reliant on mana but rather a soul, all Satella can do is manipulate the formula used to cast it, which required mana, and then dispel it. Subaru watched as he saw what looked like what he saw when Elsa killed Beatrice. Many colors but this time, they were returning to the sleeping women. Once Satella was done, they heard a man yelling and burst through the door.

Heinkel stared at the two people who he assumed came to kill his wife. He saw the black cloaks with red clouds. He looked at the two, but their straw-like hats covered their faces. He was about to attack them when he heard a voice.

"Heinkel?"

Heinkel turned in the direction of the voice he heard, not believing for a moment that it was true. When he turned around, he saw his wife… Louanna is talking.

Heinkel replied with tears, "Louanna? Your… awak-e." mumbling his words as he cried, "You're finally awake."

Subaru whispered to Satella, "Create a note that says-."

Heinkel heard this and turned to the two figures, shedding tears between each word he asked.

"Who are you? Thank you… thank you so much. Thank you… I canno-t believe it."

Heinkel forgives his head to Louanna, "You-r awake I've waited so long, Louanna, I'm so sorry. Please forgiv-e me."

Louanna had no memories of anything before she fell into the coma-like state she was in. She was in that state for 17 years however did not know that. She only remembered falling asleep and waking up to see her husband, who looked much older, crying and apologizing to her. She didn't know how to respond but knew she could comfort him.

Louanna smiled as Heinkel's arms surrounded her, "It's alright, my love. I don't know what happened, but I'm happy to see you again."

Subaru and Satella begin to leave, but Heinkel asks, "Wait… please. I just want to know how you cured her, and thank you. I've bee-n tryin-g for the last seventeen years…."

Subaru asked, "Heinkel what is the situation with Emilia?"

Heinkel blinked. He did not accept that question. He had no idea who these people were, but they healed the person he loved. The person he spent so long trying to help… the person that gave him meaning, which he lost after she went into her coma state.

Heinkel replied, "Emilia… I'm her knight. During the Royal Selection process, Reinhard was instructed to find the fifth candidate after Felt was found. Once he found Emilia, she couldn't find a sponsor. I spoke with the Sage Council and was able to sponsor Emilia and Felt. Emilia promised me that if she won, she would help me by giving me dragon's blood to heal my wife… but now she's back.."

Subaru spoke, "I see. Heinkel, please do not abandon Emilia after this. Is she doing alright?"

Heinkel was still confused about the question but thought about the first time he met Emilia. He had no hope that she would win, but having two candidates would give him an edge and even allow negotiations for dropouts for the dragon blood. He hated Emilia at first, but her situation was similar to his. Both with people frozen in time, and the only way to help them is the dragon's blood. But he would often get into arguments with his son, but due to Emilia's influence and Puck's death threats before Puck left, Heinkel did his best to try to mend the bond between himself and his son.

Heinkel replied, "She's… fine. I will answer any question you want about what you did to help me."

Suabru noticing Satella's inability to respond to Heinkel, decided to say something.

"Heinkel. Tell Emilia that someon-e is watching over her wheth-er she remembers it or not."

Heinkel was confused. What did this man mean by that? Remember? Wait… I forgot who told me, but some medic said that my wifes condition may have happened due to Gluttony. The power to erase the memories or name of someone… was this man's name erased? The two of them were able to cure my wife, so I doubt I could help them with being affected by such a curse. Heinkel's eyes were covered with tears as he thought about his response, but when he opened his eyes, the two figures were gone. His wife was awake, and he had committed countless failures and mistakes while she was asleep. He can now start a new path. A new chapter in his life. Maybe Reinhard will be more open now that his mother is awake. Whoever those two people were, thank you. I owe my soul and life to what you did for me and my love.

Satella and Subaru started to fly back to the Forgotten home.

Satella and Subaru felt the same for different reasons. Satella was lost in what happened and was shocked to see such an ancient and sacrificial spell be used in the time period. She was happy that Emilia was alive and doing alright. Subaru, on the other hand, was beginning to accept that he would never get to see her again. At first, it was easy to say, but at this point, he's seen it. The world changed because his name was eaten. Reality itself altered to correct his absence.

Now Emilia is with Felt, and Satella said she had a bright smile. He was happy that Emilia was found and could stay with Reinhard and Felt. He never thought that Heinkel would be Emilia's knight. He initially didn't like the man, but he couldn't hold anything against him after seeing what had happened. Subaru himself was a curse, and now that he knows Emilia is safe… what does he do? He shall ensure her safety even if Reinhard is her knight. He will find a way to break the cycle of the curse of the Sage. He will find a way to… he can't. He can only pray that in another life, he'll be able to see her again. He felt terrible, dead, and heartbroken but wouldn't use his authority to reduce his pain. He needs to accept his act of defying fate and the pain that comes with it.

Let me clear up a few things.

One is that Subaru will act differently than Canon Subaru. He will have all the memories of Flugul but not know all of them yet (Think of it like he has a movie but needs to watch it).

So this Subaru is not an OOC because the events are basically what causes him to change (Along with Flugul's memories).

Also, if anyone was wondering, this won't be a Satella x Subaru fic. I'm having trouble thinking of anybody who would not care if Satella is Satella. So yeah, pretty hard.

I hope I made everything that happened due to the reality being altered for Subaru not existing clear at all, although I haven't revealed everything yet.

I got a comment that said good concept. Still, the characters aren't accurate, and the magic system isn't, so let me clarify that Satella's authority is the manipulation of mana, so she can do anything with mana and also reverse mana (LIke for mana poisoning she can remove mana, etc.) for anyone wondering. So her authority is just based on mana manipulation.

Finally, if anyone is wondering, I'm purposefully making Satella's personality bland. Right now, she's still in her character development/regaining her memories (Similar to Emilia in arc four), so in the following few chapters, you'll see Satella's true personality. By authentic, I mean not as bland as it is right now. If anyone is confused about how Emilia ended up being sponsored by the Astrea family while Felt is too, it's mainly Heikels motivation. Ensure you read his justification mainly about his plan, even if they lose to obtain the dragon's blood.